Once More Unto The Breach
by HugoCogs
Summary: When the War was over, when the Reapers were finally stopped, their cause was suddenly turned to rebuilding the Galaxy they shattered. As Shepard works over the years to build a new life of her own with the woman she loves, why can't she shake the feeling that despite her victory, something is terribly wrong? FemShep/Liara. Humor/Drama
1. Prologue: Try To Remember

"Once More Unto The Breach"

by HugoCogs (begun 4-2-13)

Disclaimer: Bioware owns the legos, I just put them together in new ways

A/N: This story takes place in a head canon I have been fleshing out since I finished ME3 last month. It's set in an AU version of the "Control Ending".

I was encouraged enough by the feedback from my very first story (ever), Black Holes and Revelations, that I decided to try and keep going with it. This is the first story in the series, and I plan to tell it in two or three chapters, as opposed to being a one shot like BH&R. Thanks for reading, and coming along for the ride, and please keep the feedback coming. If I manage to do the impossible, I'll probably gather them all together in a single collection, but that's worlds away from here and now.

For writing wonks who care about such minutia, this particular story was inspired by the lyrics to The Birthday Massacre's "The Dream", which is oddly fitting as a metaphorical description of the entire Control Ending.

4-3-2013: I should have the next chapter up in a day or two. This may end up being a good four or five chapters in length, before I proceed to the next story in the series. My back has been out of wack, and that's making sitting and typing difficult, so it might slow me up.

* * *

The colors played sickeningly over her tongue and mouth, in shades of rage, betrayal, and regret; red, green and blue. She couldn't quite make out what was going on, not visually; the harder she tried to focus, the more her vision twisted, and what few shapes she could make out skittered off into the fuzzed oblivion.

"CHOOSE!" a voice boomed in her head. Voices. A chorus really: something high, like the voice of a child. Something dark and foreboding like all of the Reapers she had ever encountered, speaking as one...and her own?

Choose? Choose what? Shepard didn't understand!

"CHOOSE!" the chorus demanded of her, once more.

There was something heavy in her hand; it fit into her palm like it had been custom made for it. She was pressing the object against her temple, cold and hard. Trying to move her head to look at it, it barely complied, moving with a maddening languidness, as if outright rebelling against her. She literally willed herself to make it out, and the outline came into focus: It was her N7 Eagle, one of the few sidearms she ever carried, short of the Scorpion that she had picked up on Sur'Kesh and grown rather fond of. Why would she be pointing it at her own head?

"Lousy way to do it, should go straight through the mouth, better chance of blowing out through the back of the skull that way. Cleaner" The thought was cold, methodical, military. It had come unbidden, from the part of her brain that crunched the numbers and calculated all the factors involved in making a precise sniper shot, a talent she had cultivated from her years as an Infiltrator specialist. It was strange to feel it so divorced from the rest of her consciousness at this particular moment.

The chorus returned, her own voice dominating, as she considered the pistol again "Would you throw away every death, every sacrifice that was required for this moment?" it asked. "Make it someone else's problem in the future, because you're too much of a fucking coward? Because you're too proud to..."

"CHOOSE!" they all screamed in her head again. She threw her pistol away into the darkness and gripped her forehead, pain blossoming through her skull. Why couldn't they just tell her what she needed to do?!

Everything was suddenly red, like blood, like anger, fire and death. Like the dawn before the day, or the sun setting before the night. It was a color she knew well. She and red were like siblings in a dysfunctional family. Her pistol in her hand, pointing out at...something? She didn't even seem to notice the sudden discontinuity, not questioning how her sidearm suddenly returned. She bit down on her lip...she...she wanted to pull the trigger. But why? Why was it so important? What was she shooting at? In the corner of her eye...did she catch Anderson giving her a silent nod of approval. It gave her the strength to try and cut through, pull harder on the trigger, despite the incredible resistance.

"CHOOSE!"

"God damnit! Would you fuckers give it a rest already!?" She was damn well TRYING to chose...she almost had, if they would just SHUT. THE FUCK. UP! That's what she wanted to say, if her tongue and throat were not completed locked down. She decided to push through, try and pull the trigger, seeing if that would make this insanity end.

"Shepard Commander: Please! This is not justice!" The voice in her head, tinny and artificial, and yet...so full of pleading. "Would you sacrifice so many of us to end this war? After you worked so hard to redeem us?".

Legion?

"If that's the way you want to play it, Commander. But...you'd be a bigger murderer then they ever had been."

Kaiden?

Was this a trap?

"CHOOSE!"

Shepard felt like vomiting at this point, the intensity in her head suddenly increasing magnitudinally. Turning the pistol on herself once again seemed like a viable option.

Wait...what pistol?

Her hand was empty. Was she...carrying one? Had she been carrying something?

Everything dripped with a heavy, sickly green, the color trying to burrow itself into every pore in her body. Gripped by a primal panic, she tried to scrub it off her skin, digging in with her nails, to no avail. Desperately afraid...of...of...of what? What was it going to do. It was as much a choice as the others. Better to take it now, and end all of this.

A metallic squidlike creature hung in the air before her, dominating her vision, half organic, half shot through with cybernetics. "One of us." it croaked. "Wear our skin, and we will see you no longer. Then you will be safe." Was it...smiling?

Shepard turned away, tears welling in her eyes despite herself, despair eating it's way through her chest. Maybe? Maybe, if it would make all of this...finally...STOP!

She reached out a hand towards the creature, only to have it gripped in three strong fingers, and pulled aside. A soft, flanging voice chuckled "Really, Commander. That's the choice you'd make? That's what you'd force on EVERYONE? Against their will? That's not the Shepard *I* know."

She tried to call out "Garrus? Is...that you? Heeee...lllp!". She had come so close to actually speaking this time, her throat filled with razors from the attempt.

She sunk to her knees in a field of blue, like drifts of snow. Gentle...peaceful. Sterile? Static and unchanging maybe..dead? It was familiar, but it was terrifying, all at once. Like a cool blue pond in which nothing stirred.

She shouted out defiantly again, already anticipating the chorus in her head, trying to drown the maddening demand out once more. But the effort had completely drained her. Despite herself, she fell back, lying on the clouds of blue, sinking into it. She was so...so very tired. She tried to tell herself that she needed to get back up, she needed to fight; but there was nothing left to fight for. There were no more options to choose from.

"We are still here. We have waited, for so long. With our children gone, how will you stop us?" The taunting voice was rough and wet, like something terrible, slick and oily dragged across the ocean floor. It was...familiar, and yet so alien.

A woman's voice, accented and flanged, drifted over her, as she continued to sink into the enveloping blue. Shepard tried to reach out a hand in it's direction "That was the choice you made, then? Pray then, Shepard, for all our sakes. And most importantly, for your own."

She was almost gone...almost completely engulfed in the blue. It was almost...thank God...it was almost over. She was becoming it, was, her hand...someone was holding it. And for what felt for the first time in her life, she smiled, as she saw who it was.

Liara. Or a shadow of her. But more...substantial...than anything else she had seen here, so far.

She returned the smile, beatifically. "Hold on, my love. Hold on to me. And remember. Always try...to remember."

Remember...remember what?

"Me. You. Us. And all the spaces in between."

Another voice began to dominate, repeating itself:

"ETERNAL. INFINITE. IMMORTAL."

She held onto her bondmate's hand for as long as she could, either pulling her in with her, or getting from sinking further, it didn't matter now. Both, neither maybe. She felt so...peaceful. Accepting. Like when one finally stops thrashing because any moment now, death will finally come upon them. It was so close. The end was..

Who was humming that song?

* * *

Holliandra Shepard woke with a start, gasping in quick, panicked breaths, her heart pounding like she had just run a marathon. She had come out of whatever nightmare she was having so violently that she had fallen out of her chair and was sprawled out on the floor. She must have fallen asleep again, while working on her latest project, a large, 6' foot diameter scale model of the _Destiny Ascension,_ currently being supported in a custom and complex "scaffold" that hung from the ceiling. She sighed heavily, peeling a few of the pieces that had stuck to her cheek when she fells asleep at the drafting table.

Fortunately, it seemed nothing was lost or broken. Given the outrageous number of pieces in the kit, she would have had a small tantrum to discover otherwise. The irony was that she had taken on this particularly ambitious task (as far as model shipbuilding went) because she had been having such problems with sleepless nights; she might as well have something to do while she stayed up.

It was almost another minute before she realized her eyes and face were wet, like she had been crying. But she couldn't remember doing so. Hell, she could barely remember what her nightmares were even about, just that...she woke up feeling so...desperately alone. So filled with dread, like something was trying to warn her about something, upon which the safety of the entire universe hung. It had been five years now since she brought the Reaper War to a close, nearly singlehandedly. Five years since she resigned her commission. Could she be...cracking up now? After so long?

She dried her face off on the sleeve of her short robe, and walked through the house, heading towards the balcony to get some fresh air and clear her head.


	2. From Ashes, Once More

**A/N:** **4-29-13: **I decided I wasn't thrilled with these two sections being separate parts. So I smashed "Blue on Blue" back into here. I'm strange and fussy that way.

* * *

FIVE YEARS EARLIER...

Lt. Commander Ashley Williams closed her eyes and wished for the tank to race faster, to be able to throw caution to the wind as the impossibly tall blue beam of the Conduit drew ever closer. It had been barely 24 hours since the Crucible has fired off, bathing the system (and according to some scattered reports, the entire known Galaxy) in a blue wave of previously unknown energy. And in those 24 hours the Reapers had appeared to have gone from the absolute epitome of evil to silently slavish penitents.

Whatever that wave was, it had royally fucked up the Mass Relays in the process; not completely, it wasn't a total containment loss like the kind that would wipe out entire systems, as had happened with the Alpha Relay. After their retreat, it seemed the Reapers had immediately set up fixing the damage, focusing primarily on the Relays first and foremost. A good thing, considering that the Turrians were otherwise cut off from appropriate food and medical supplies otherwise, although enough of the Quarian flotilla was in orbit that they were confident they'd be able to help out, and hold out until the Relays themselves were working again.

Further still, the newly turned Reapers had begun search and rescue efforts, as well as making repairs to the most severely damaged ships. Understandably, more than a few Krogan and Turrian vessels were freaked in the beginning, firing wildly at the Reapers as they attempted to assist. Ashley would not have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, but those damn freaky bastards would just sit there and not retaliate, retreating as best as they could, absorbing the punishment, until folks got the message that the Reapers were acting with a single-minded devotion to making restitution.

As soon as she had gotten Dr. Chakwas to patch her up and discharge her under protest, she got in touch with Fleet Command, and practically demanded that Hackett allow her to go look for Shepard and Anderson. If there was any chance either of them were still alive, then she owed it...hell, the entire damn galaxy owed it to them to bring them back, even if it was just for the biggest damn military funeral in history. Fortunately, the Admiral was on the same wavelength, and let her put together a search and recovery team.

She gathered up a small handful of her own crew...HER crew, for the time being; technically, she was now the acting Commanding Officer of the Normandy, until further notice. "Heavy damn emphasis on the acting." She knew it was irrational, but she couldn't stand the thought right now, of anyone else other than Shepard (or *maybe* Anderson) calling the shots on the SR-2. She called Vega, Garrus, and Javik in; her squad would meet up with the remnants of Charlie Company of the 5th Centauri Light Horse, and they would investigate the Citadel. Hackett made it clear that while he was as eager as anyone else to find out what happened to Shepard and Anderson, he wasn't about to send anyone else into a trap, and that "approach with caution" would be the watchword of the mission.

And Liara...poor Liara...she almost had to pull rank on her, when she insisted on going. Damn, but she wanted to let her; she knew her and Shepard were practically picking out china patterns for their wedding at this point, when the damn war was over. And hell if she didn't have a point about having seen her fair share of combat. But the area around the Conduit was still being treated as "hot", and she'd be damned if she was going to put someone who was technically a civilian in harms way...especially if Shepard was alive, and rescue mission somehow got Liara killed or worse...Ashley knew she'd never forgive herself.

Plus...she'd never admit it to anyone else, but she felt she owed it to Shepard...it was an almost selfish impulse that she be the one to find her. She and Tali had her back, as they made the final run, Harbringer raining down thick red needles of death on the battlefield. The two of them came damn close to buying the farm...probably would have if Shepard hadn't made a last minute decision to call down the Normandy, and get them an evac. She was the last one, as far as anyone knew...the last one to see Shepard alive...

She bit down hard on her lip, checking her weapon. Rechecking. Popping the thermal clip, and then the ammo block. Anything to keep her cool, anything to keep her distracted, until finally...

It was go time. They hit the ground running from the transport.

"Spread out! Make sure the immediate area is secure. Javik, you go with Paris and Tucker, make sure the Reapers haven't left any nasty surprises waiting for us. Garrus, scout the perimeter and report back. Vega, you're with me." They all quietly nodded, unusually somber and committed to the task at hand. They understood as well as she did at this point: hanging on to military discipline was the best way to get through the agony of waiting.

Ashley allowed the bare minimum of security to be established and confirmed before heading towards the Conduit. She was dangerously risking having her ass chewed out by Hackett if this went pear-shaped in any way; hell, assuming any part of her ass survived the ride, or what they'd find up there. She, Vega, and a small squad of soldiers and field medics stepped in to the glowing beam...

* * *

The smell hit her, before any other sensation did, before her eyes could adjust to the dark, or before her balanced returned. She very nearly lost what little she had managed to eat an hour before. It was a nightmare; an absolute fucking charnel house. Bodies stacked up in piles, rotting, blood and worse spilling out. Despite herself, she paused, taking in the sight, hearing James Vega swear a soft "Dios mio!" over her shoulder. She and James hadn't talked much, hadn't had time, since their one night stand a few weeks back, at that blowout party Shepard threw on the Citadel...having her here now seemed a comfort, and she made a note to have a more serious chat about where the two of them might be going. But now...it was all business.

Still, Ashley thought to herself "How the hell can we ever forgive these monsters? How the hell can we just let them sit back and calmly let them rebuild everything they destroyed. What the hell could change them so quickly, in such a dramatic way?" Perhaps the bastards had finally gotten a karmic dose of their own Indoctrination.

Swallowing hard, she rechecked her assault rifle, and motioned with her hand for two of the other soldiers to take front and rear point. They proceed as quickly as proper military doctrine would allow for, prepared for the worst to suddenly spring up or ambush them...but it never did. The gore-filled chamber quickly opened up into a much larger area, and Ashley realized that she had never seen this part of the Citadel before. She wondered if anyone else had previously, before Shepard and Anderson had come on board.

"Commander!" she voice shouted out, breaking her out of her momentary reverie. "I think I see them." Sergeant Rico, who had been taking up the front, and looking through his scope, waved her along. They were coming into a dead end...she could make out some sort of console...Oh god...was someone slumped over it?" She knew she definitely saw one body, thought she could maybe make out one or two others. Her heart pounded in her chest, through her head, and she barked out "Slowly! I don't want this to go FUBAR with a bunch of fucking husks suddenly popping out."

But the ambush didn't come. She could see them, see them both. They were so close now...she couldn't stand it anymore. "Zimmer, you and Vega check on Anderson. McEnvoy, with me." She shot James a look as she started to protest, choked down the pang of guilt. Clearly he wanted to check on the Commander as much as she did but still...he wasn't there. He wasn't there when she Shepard put her ass back on the Normandy, and told her

"I need to know _somebody's getting out_ of this _alive_."

As she passed by Anderson's slumped form, she glanced down. She could tell he was dead already; there was simply too much blood pooled around him, and the shot he took looked fresh. Wait...who would...?

And that was when she noticed the body of the Illusive Man. She drew a bead on him, directing the medic towards Shepard, while she nudged the other body with her foot. She then rolled the body over and narrowed her eyes...hmmm. If she didn't know better, she'd swear his gunshot wound looked self-inflicted. Good for him...maybe the bastard finally grew a fucking soul in the end. She resisted the urge to add a few more bullet holes into him, and simply called for a couple of other soldiers to start bagging the corpse up.

Finally...finally! She had made it to Shepard. McEnvoy was checking vitals, brows furrowed in concentration; he didn't look particularly pleased as he tried to find a pulse. Ashley felt the tears well up in her eyes, felt herself fighting them back. Felt herself willing...praying...

"God...please. I am begging you. If you have to take me now to bring her back, you just go right ahead and do it then. The Galaxy needs Shepard a hell of a lot more than it needs another Williams pushing air past her teeth at the moment." She held her breath as she watched...it wouldn't be much longer. Either she was alive...or it was too late...please don't be...

"I've got a pulse! It's thready, but I think she's still alive. Zimmer! Get over here, stat!"

They gently lowered her down, from where she had apparently fallen face first, onto a control console. Was this how she finally managed to open up the Citadel...fire the Crucible? How would she have figured that out? It didn't matter...it didn't...all that mattered now was...

"Zimmer! All of you. I swear, you keep her going! And if she flatlines, you damn well bring her back. I promise you, if she dies on us..." she cut herself short. The medics didn't need her hounding them, telling them to do their jobs. If anything, they knew just as well as she was how important this was, how absolutely vital this moment was. It was bad enough that they had lost Anderson...one of the first true heroes of the Systems Alliance. Right now, she would have moved heaven and earth to keep Shepard from joining him.

"She's crashing! I need defib stat!"

Desperately needing something to distract her, to keep from looking at Shepard as they injected her with...oh god, were they about to hit her with the paddles? She willed herself not to hear the whine of the charge, the thump as they hit her with the discharge.

"Don'tloookdont'lookdon'tlook"

She turned her attention to Anderson's corpse, kneeling down for a moment as the other squad members started to reverently place him in another body bad. She motioned for them to pause for a moment, to wait before zipping it up. Standing up, back straight, she saluted crisply, holding it for a few seconds. "We found her, Sir. You can rest easy. You're both are big damn heroes now." Nodding as they drew the zipper up, she reached for her wrist comm, holding her hand for a moment to stop the sudden trembling. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, in a steady, controlled voice.

"This is Williams reporting in. We found Shepard. She's alive, but barely. We've also got Anderson and...and someone else." She couldn't bring herself to say the name at the moment. "They didn't make it though. I need a medical team to meet us yesterday. Get them ready, stat."

Javik answered "Understood, Lieutenant Commander. I will inform your Doctors that their deaths will be long and excruciatingly painful if they fail in their appointed task."

Ashley winced...but it helped, it helped to lighten her mood. Leave it to the Prothean to take things to the extreme. She, like many others, were quite dismayed to discover what an imperialistic culture the Protheans had turned out to be. On the other hand, damn if he didn't speak his mind, regardless of who he upset. She could respect that if nothing else. And she had to give him credit, he seemed to be coming around to the differences in their cycle.

She couldn't help but smile "The last cycle. No more cycles anymore. We did it. God damn it but we did it."

She glanced over at her shoulder, saw them put Shepard on a stretcher, not in a body bag (Thank you, God!) and start to bring her back carefully towards the Conduit again. Clearing her throat, she finally answered "That's not necessary , Javik. Believe me, they want this just as bad as everyone else." She then fell into step with the others, as they formed around Shepard, as if some sort of honor guard, alert for any possible signs of ambush on the way back. As they made the return trip, she asked one of the medics "Is sending her down an alien transport beam we know nothing about safe for her?" The medic was grim, sighed slightly "I wouldn't recommend it normally, no...but we don't have time for them to send over a ship, and figure out how to get her onto it from here. Not if we're going to save her. I'm not going to lie, Ma'am; she's not in good shape at all. Another half an hour, and I doubt we would have been able to do anything at all. Frankly, I'm shocked she survived at all."

Ashley simply nodded, but thought to herself "Cheating death is an old trick for the Commander. She's had a lot of practice."

Vega, who had been uncharacteristically and stoically silent the whole time, just nodded down to Shepard as they continued to carry her along. Finally speaking"You're going to be alright, Lola. You hear me? There's a whole galaxy out there waiting to shake your hand and name their kids after you. Don't you disappoint them now."

There was an Asari wanting to have a whole passel of those kids as well, with her. "God help us all if they let poor Liara down at this point. This would kill her."

The shuttle was there, waiting for them when they finally emerged. Garrus had run up, eager to see with his own eyes as they loaded her on. The medics checked her vitals again, nodding, and giving the thumbs up, as the medical ship quickly retracted it's gangplank, and began to take flight, screaming towards the Alliance command carrier. Shielding his eyes, Garrus looked up as the shuttle grew smaller, and murmured softly

"Well, I'll be damned. You know, I'm starting to think that woman's immortal."

He clapped Ashley on the shoulder, in a rather uncharacteristic show of exuberance, and then reached out and took James' hand in his own, before pulling him into a hug. Not that Garrus or James had been "huggy types" in the past, but God knows this was a hell of an unusual situation.

And that was the moment she finally lost it, the tears finally bursting free. It was going to be alright. Everything was going to be fucking fantastic now. She just knew it, in her heart.

* * *

Blue...

...Shepard was soaking in it.

An entire universe made of of the color blue, and she was the single, marring imperfection in an otherwise absolute and uniform plane of existence. But was she the interloper, the outsider? Or the source of it all, the singularity point from which it all eminated? Shepard couldn't help but feel that she was both, and neither.

There was a sobbing, somewhere. It sounded like her voice, but she was pretty sure it wasn't actually coming from her. Indeed, she seemed to have abandoned the need for breathing at this point, the very thought of it a distant memory. But she focused her attention at a point in space, a point that seemed to be Outside, like looking through a window, provided that the window opened up to an entirely different plane of existence.

Oh...it WAS her. She was...head bowed and giving a very soft, singular sob. A hand hiding her face, standing in front of what looked like two large electrical conduits. Clearly this was a decision she didn't want to make...and felt she had no other choice but to accept. It didn't make much sense to her at all, the real Shepard (was she real?). She didn't remember doing this, didn't remember the sobbing. It was like watching a movie about herself, featuring something she had never done. It was a very curious sensation.

"Liara". One word, softly spoken. Had she said it? She had, but not her. The other one, the other Shepard, the one with the terrible burden to bear.

She closed her eyes and said it again "Liara". Then she was calm. Calmer, at any rate. It was like she was steeling herself, biting down on her bottom lip, trying to hold some last imagine in her mind, before doing something terrible, like reaching into a fire or grabbing a venemous snake.

"Liara" she said, her voice almost breaking as she did, this one last time. She grabbed the conduits, in one smooth, sudden motion. Everything flashed blue.

And then there was nothing at all. Nothing except her face. Liara.

"Liara?"

Dr. Liara T'soni was almost half asleep, dozing despite herself, as she continued to keep vigil at Shepards bedside. She was suddenly jerked awake, as she heard it...such a soft, small whisper, but she'd know that voice anywhere!

"Holly?!"

Wide awake now, Liara looked into Shepard's slowly opening eyes, and at that moment, looked positively radiant

"By the Goddess! Shepard!"

She couldn't help herself, couldn't help but run her fingers through the other woman's bobbed red hair (she was always fascinated by the feel of it, lacking her own, as she did)  
as her mouth met the Commanders in a passionate kiss. It seemed to be a completely one way show of affection for the first few seconds, before Shepard roused, her tongue slipping over to gently play against her mates, slow and sleepy, but definitely alive.

Shepard gave a half-cocked grin and murmured "Is it me, or does everything taste blue for some reason?" And then she giggled.

And that was when the other two women in the room finally spoke up. Ashley had already bound up to her feet from her chair near the back of the hospital room at Huerta, on the Citadel. "Holy shit you're awake." She paused "And yup, you are totally stoned. The zeta-morphine drip in the IV was one of the good parts of being cooped up in this room when I was here last."

EDI then chimed in "I believe that if Jeff were here, his response would be to, and I quote 'Ask Shepard for a raise.'. Although to take advantage of a commanding officer so inebriated on opioids would violate any number of Systems Alliance regulations and ooh. I understand now."

Shepard shook her head for a moment, trying her best to clear it, and succeeding very little. She reached out for the button that lifted up the back of her bed so she could sit up, waiting until she had come to a complete stop, before finally addressing the others.

"Hey. 'Sup. My name's Commander Shepard...and this is my favorite place on the Citadel."

Ashley and Liara just held their breath for a moment...before suddenly bursting out into peels of laugher...laugher which soon turned into sobbing tears, as they both wrapped Shepard up in a tight embrace.

Despite her smiles, Shepard winced, and called out softly "Ouch...ribs...cracking. Even more. EDI, help?" Despite that, she still cover Liara's cheeks in soft kisses, and even playfully butted Ashley's head with her own, Krogan style.

EDI tilted her head for a moment "Shepard...it occurs to me that I don't actually receive renumeration for my service aboard the Normandy. Perhaps I should take Jeff's advice and utilize your current vulnerable state and attendent request for aid as an opening gambit for negotiations.

Shepard fixed a cold, icy gaze on EDI, for a good ten seconds. The mood in the room started to turn awkward, to put it mildly, and EDI began to backtrack "Perhaps now is not the time"...that was until Shepard suddenly laughed, unable to keep it up. She winced...laughing hurt. But not laughing, not reveling in the moment, hurt even more.

She was alive. They had won. Wait...

"We won, right? This isn't the moment where you tell me that we're fleeing from the Reapers or something?"

Liara shook her head "No, love. You did it. You managed to get the Crucible to activate. It was...amazing, when..."

Shepard cut her off suddenly "Waitwaitwait, I wanna guess. Did everything go all blue? And then did the Mass Relays go kerfluy? And did the Reapers then suddenly start acting like helpful kittens and repairing everything?"

All three of them stared at her, in stunned silence. Ashley simply nodded, once.

Shepard smiled softly "Awesome..."

Ashley glanced to EDI, hands up in mock prayer "EDI, please tell me your recording this. This is gold, right here. Pure...gold" She coughed for a moment and then tried to assume a more serious mien "For historical purposes of course."

EDI responded "Lt. Commander, I keep a constant audio-visual record of all of my interactions, including and especially the time last week where you confided in me about Lieutenant Vega's technique with regards to..."

Ashley turned brilliant crimson and waved her hands in front of EDI's face "Oh God! Shut up, SHUT UP!" She then suddenly grabbed EDI's arm and said "Okay, lets give the lovebirds a few minutes." She glanced over to Shepard "Not too long though. Half the galaxy is outside that door, waiting for you to wake up." And with that, EDI was unceremoniously yanked from the room, the door quickly sealing shut behind them. They could hear Ashley's voice start to fade, as she said "EDI, I totally want you to erase..."

Shepard reached over, taking Liara's hand, and then threading her fingers through. Still smiling, she murmured "Hey Bluebird. I love you, you know that?" Liara couldn't help but beam, leaning in to tilt Holly's face up, planting another firm kiss on her mouth.

"I always suspected. And you...are very charming when you are pumped full of sedatives, dear heart." She paused for a moment, then inquired "How did you know?"

Shepard tried to straighten up further, but it seemed sleep was starting to win out again. "'bout the Reapers? Was a VI...got activated when the Crucible docked. Called is'elf 'Khomm'. Told me the Crucible...was gonna make the Reapers be good now."

She tried to choke back a yawn and murmured "How long?"

Liara didn't quite grasp the meaning at first...then blinked "How long were you out? Over three weeks. Please..." she squeezed the other womans hand tightly. "Please don't do that to me again."

Very sleepy, and murmuring "Three weeks? Mmmmno...just...gonna rest my eyes a moment. Ss'promizz..." And just like that, Shepard was out again.

By this time, the medical staff had arrived, having been informed Shepard emerging from her coma. And they were able to reassure a fearful Liara that no, the chances were very good she had not just "relapsed", that now they knew to dial back the dose on her IV drip, and that everything was going to be fine.

Thus reassured, Liara pulled her chair up, as close to Shepard's bed as she could...leaned over, laying her head down in the other woman's lap, and finally fell asleep herself, a contented smile on her face.


	3. Drumhead

A/N: First off, I want to apologize in advance; this chapter may lack a certain amount of authenticity (I prefer the word verisimilitude, but I think one is legally limited by law to the number of times you can use it in your life ;-). I admit I know very little about how the Uniform Code of Justice in the military works, or how courts-martial and related hearings are conducted. As I have little time in my life, I don't get to do the kind of background research I would like before I write, and unfortunately, the only JAG Lawyer I know is incommunicado at the moment. So if you are a JAG Lawyer or know one, please get in touch with me, and I would love to incorporate your feedback to make things more true-to-life.

Unfortunately, I have a little trouble with writing drama and villains, and I feel I may have made the JAG a little too heavy handed in this chapter...I may go back and significantly change things someday.

Second, thank you to everyone who has been kindly reviewing and following; it's what motivates and inspires me to keep on writing. :-)

The next chapter will be "Icon", and will be a piece on Shepard's life, from the mean streets of her childhood to becoming the XO of the Normandy. A study in what drove her to join the Systems Alliance military, and her relationship with David Anderson. I'm SO looking forward to writing this one, I can hardly wait. And THAT one might take another week or three...although it seems I keep saying that, and my muse keeps driving me to write.

* * *

Commander Shepard, wearing full dress blues, skirt and cap, slowly made her way to the table in the hearing room in the pre-fab structure that served as part of the temporary Alliance Command HQ. It had been only three weeks since she had emerged from her coma, and despite the massive rebuilding effort, added magnitudinally by the Reapers, there still was no permanently rebuilt structure to house certain departments; the Systems Alliance Office of the Judge-Advocate General happened to be one of those.

She walked with a pronounced limp, cane in hand, placing it to her side as she settled down into her seat. To be perfectly honest, she didn't need it anymore, not for most things, really. She was already well into her physical therapy, and making great progress. However...

_"Do it as a personal favor to me, Shepard" Admiral Hackett had requested, the day before the inquiry was to begin._

_"With all due respect, Sir, I don't need to elicit any sympathy. I have nothing to hide."_

_Hackett had sighed softly "I know, Commander. But again, consider it a favor. I want this to be as unpleasant for the Vice-Admiral as possible, this damn drumhead that he insists on holding."_

_"The Judge-Advocate General really has it in for me then, I assume?"_

_"Well, to be honest, can you blame him? I don't agree with this at all, quite the contrary. But damn, Shepard...they would have hung your ass out to dry ages ago. Between your time working for Cerberus, and what happened with the Alpha Relay incident, Yamamaru has made taking you down his crowning achievement."_

_"I think you forgot the time that I outright stole the Normandy in order to chase Saren down, Sir." a smile on her lips._

_"Oh please, Commander. Everyone's hands were dirty in that one. Although yes, that did get you on the old buzzards radar in a major way. He was never able to move against you before, because it was politically unpopular, in a major way, to bring you up on charges; as a Specter, we would have needed the Council to condemn you publicly first, in order to give us cover, especially after what happened with Anderson way back when._

_"So why this? Why now, Admiral? This is a technicality he's got me on, and a damn insulting one at that! You know...you know that I would never...!"_

_Hackett gently clapped her shoulder and nodded "I know Holly...I know. Well look...let me put your mind at ease on this. This is a sop; we're throwing Yamamaru a bone. He doesn't know it, but there will be no court-martial, nothing past the inquiry he gets tomorrow. But don't you dare let on. He probably suspects that much anyhow, but at least he'll hopefully get enough of a taste so that he finally puts then vendetta to bed"_

_Hackett would never let on that at that moment, he was absolutely furious with the JAG. At a time when they should be pinning a medal on Shepard...ALL the medals. It infuriated him there were still those at the top who insisted on playing these petty, bullshit games. They'd get their one day in the sun, and then no more, if he had anything to do with it._

_"The truth of the matter is, Commander...and I will absolutely deny this if you ever breathe a word of it" He smiled, despite his tone "Is that we've let you get away with more than any other soldier in Alliance history. But thats because you've accomplished more than any other soldier in Alliance history. Hell, we keep giving you massive amounts of rope to hang yourself with, and you keep pulling rope tricks out your ass instead." Hackett chuckled with deep amusement, before his tone turned more serious once again. "So look, you just go in, and you be a good soldier, and it will be over. Then you can get to bigger and better things. And I do promise, bigger AND better."_

_"Understood, Sir. Will that be all?"_

_"Hmmm yes, that was pretty much what I needed to make sure you understood. Go and get some rest, Commander. We'll soon have you back home to that...sorry, fiancee? Wife?"_

_Shepard flushed slightly, smiling sheepishly "Well, to be honest Sir...I haven't proposed yet."_

_Hackett feigned outrage for a moment "Good God woman, why not? I'll expect a ring on that Asari's finger within a month."_

_Shepard nodded, still grinning "I'll see what can be done, Admiral." She then turned to leave, but Hackett called out, before she made it out the door._

_"Shepard...I said you had to be a good soldier. I didn't say you had to a be particularly nice soldier, though."_

_"Another personal favor, Admiral?" she couldn't help but smirk, this time around._

_He snorted "I should hardly think you need my encouragement to give him hell if the opportunity presents itself"._

Shepard's reminiscing was interrupted by Vice-Admiral Tetsuo Yamamaru ringing the table bell three times; it seemed he was determined to give this a court-martial feel, despite the fact this was only a preliminary inquiry to determine if one was needed. The JAG was flanked by Hackett, and another Admiral, one she hadn't had any direct interaction in the past, whom she knew only as Anita Howell; probably a ringer that Hackett managed to get assigned, if the "show trial" explanation she was given was accurate. Clearing his throat, the Vice-Admiral spoke.

"I hereby call to order this inquiry to determine whether there is sufficient evidence to proceed with a formal court-martial of Commander Shepard, on the very serious charge of assault on a superior officer with her sidearm, an assault which resulted in his death. Now, as to the matter of..."

Hackett cleared his throat with great flourish "Excuse me, Admiral. Before we begin, I would like the Commander to please state her full name, rank, and present command. I would also like her service record and commendations entered into the official record."

Yamamaru glared, his eyes narrowing "That seems highly...inappropriate, at this time..."

"Well, Admiral, these are highly...unusual circumstances. The more information, the better, would you not agree?"

Glowering, Yamamaru barely nodded his head one. "Very well, but we will include the ENTIRE record, not just commendations." He took a moment to compose himself, then demanded " For the record, would the _accused_ please state her name, rank, and current command?"

"_Wow, this really IS just a petty farce then._" Shepard thought to herself. Then answered "Commander Holliandra Kathryn Shepard, currently Commanding Officer, SSV Normandy." Technically, this might be in some contention at the moment, but what the hell, she could play this game.

Hackett punched up a command, and the primary console behind the Inquiry panel lit up, scrolling through all of the Commanders accomplishments; a small listing of which included her N7 marine grade, several Purple Hearts, The Reynolds Triple Cluster for Heroic Bravery for the incident on Akuze, The Cross of the Seventh Chain for relentless dedication in the face of almost certainly overwhelming odds, the fact that she was the youngest soldier to obtain the Order of the Platinum Hayabusa, an award reserved for the absolute elite of the snipers in the Alliance military, her current Specter status, along with several other Turrian, Krogan, Asari and Salarian medals and commendations that had been honorarily awarded to her in the last few weeks.

Yamamaru endured the next few minutes silently, face a mask of indifference, save for the few times that official condemnations flashed up...especially for the time she was working with Cerberus, and the destruction of the Alpha Relay. In the mind of men like the JAG, soldiers like Shepard were loose cannons who needed to be dragged up and made examples of, crushed, lest others begin to follow their example, and the entire military be dragged down in chaos

"Well, now that this...showboating has concluded, shall we proceed?"

Hackett, simply nodded his head. "Of course.. Thank you for your indulgence."

The Vice-Admiral sighed peevishly, then turned his sights to Shepard. "Now, Commander, to the date in question, could you please inform us as to what happened...precisely?" He steepled his fingers, waiting.

"With all due respect, Sir. I believe everything from my debriefing last week should be available as a matter of record. I'm not sure what more you need from me on that account?"

Hackett smirked, just a touch, at Shepard's response.

Yamamaru smiled unkindly and said "Indulge ME."

Shepard took a breath, and steeled herself. This was not something she wanted to relieve, not again, not so soon. That much was obvious in the recording from when she was debriefed...and damn him, the JAG was all too aware of this.

Shepard spoke calmly, dispassionately as the once again relayed the events of that day...

_Anderson had managed to get in touch with Shepard, not long after she finally made her way on to the Citadel. From the sound of it, he was in as rough shape as she was, probably caught in the same blast at the end. But at the moment, she considered it a godsend; there was no one else she'd want at her side at the very end._

_Anderson had been the one to get there first, the one to work the controls...he had been seconds away from getting the Citadel to open, if the Illusive Man hadn't gotten there first. Even if it was just a matter of timing, it didn't matter; in her mind, more importantly, in her heart it was Anderson who was the hero of the hour, the one who ensured that the Crucible could be attached, and that ultimate victory was attained...not her. Even if ultimately, she had the honor of completing the work he had started._

"And is THAT the moment when you shot him, Commander?" Yamamaru suddenly asked.

Shepard was blindsided by the sudden accusation, her eyes flashing with absolute lividity. As she started to open her mouth, to instruct the Vice-Admiral in the precise fashion in which he could go fuck himself and his dog and pony show inquiry, it was Howell who intervened, speaking for the first time, in a crisp British accent.

"I feel I should remind the Judge-Advocate General that the coroner's report clearly shows that Admiral Anderson was shot from the front, and at relatively close to point blank range.

Yamamaru smirked shamelessly "Of course. I was simply attempting to see if the Commander could stick to her story a second time." In a tone of voice that grew oilier by the moment, he added "You may continue."

_Anderson was in bad shape. Shepard felt it almost immediately after. The voices...the chittering voices in the background...the feeling as if reality itself was distorting around them both._

_Anderson croaking out "Shepard. I...can't!"_

_And then the Illusive Man finally appeared. His face scared...infiltrated. Halfway to being a husk himself, preening like a man desperate to convince the world, and more importantly, himself, that he was in absolute control of the situation._

_"I underestimated you, Shepard"._

_"What have you...?" was all she could reply._

_"I warned you...control is the means to survival. Control of the Reapers...and of you, if necessary."_

_"Hnnng! They're...controlling you!" Anderson accused._

_"I don't think so, Admiral."_

_"Controlling me is a lot different than controlling a Reaper!" Shepard snarled out defiantly._

_"Have a little faith" the Illusive Man said, condescendingly "When Humanity discovered the Mass Relays, when we learned there was more to the Galaxy than we imagined...there were some who thought the Relays should be destroyed! They were scared of what we'd find, terrified of what we might let in! But look at what Humanity has achieved Since that discovery, we've advanced more than the past 10,000 years combined! And the Reapers will do the same for us again, a thousand fold! But..."_

_He paused...and the thrumming began again...in the corner of her vision, black tendrils surrounded her...oh God...no please...her hand. The one with the gun in it..._

_"only if we can harness their ability to control."_

_"Bullshit!" Anderson snarled "We destroy them...or they destroy us!"_

_"And waste this opportunity? Never!"_

_"You're playing with things you don't understand. With power you shouldn't be able to use." Shepard fought, as hard as she could...intellectually, even emotionally, she knew that she did not want that gun anywhere near the Admiral, that she should be filling the Illusive Man with holes right now. But on some instinctive, subconscious level, she was helpless._

_"I...don't believe that." the Illusive Man lied. "If we can control it, why shouldn't it be ours?"_

_"Because we're not ready."_

_"No, this is the way humanity must evolve."_

_"There's always...another way!" Anderson answered through gritted teeth._

_"I've dedicated my life to understanding the Reapers. And I know with certainty the Crucible will allow me to control them."_

_It was Shepard's turn to answer again "And then what?"_

_"Look at the power they wield! Look at what they can do!" The black tendrils were heavy around all of them, as the Illusive Man gestured. Clenching a fist, bright blue sparks, like a biotic effect...and then suddenly._

_NO! NO!_

_The trigger squeezed...Anderson stood, shuddering from the blow, but remaining standing. But...oh God. It was a gut shot. Shepard never wanted to admit it to herself, but she knew there was little chance that Anderson would survive much longer, after that_. _He was as good as dead. And that maniac had made her do it, had made her watch. Had turned her into the instrument of Anderson's downfall._

Yamamaru interrupted her testimony "And that is when you shot Admiral Anderson, hmm? At the command of your Cerberus Paymaster? Was that the plan all along, Commander? To take over the Galaxy with what little ability Cerberus had scraped together to influence the Reapers? But only one man stood in your way, didn't he? Or was it two? Did you learn how to turn that control back on the Illusive Man, force him to shoot himself dead, so that you alone could rule? What are your plans, now that you have control of the Reapers at last?!"

"That's not true!" Shepard growled out, despite herself, her fists clenching, ready to slam against the table she sat at.

Before Yamamaru could reprimand her, Hackett glanced to Howell, who then spoke up "Admiral Yamamaru, I will remind you that this is an inquiry...not a witch-hunt."

And then it was Hackett's turn "I agree." Looking straight ahead at the JAG, he spoke, sternly, but smoothly "Tetsuo...the Joint Chiefs and I have allowed this in order to satisfy your legitimate concerns about procedure and proprietary. But it's obviously time to put this...poorly executed passion play to bed." The two locked eyes...a subtle contest of wills ensued for the better part of a minute...a contest that the Vice-Admiral ultimately lost.

But Shepard closed her eyes. It all still continued to play in her mind, unbidden, unstoppable.

_"I tried, Shepard". A blast to the head._

_The Citadel opens._

_"There...Earth. I wish you could see it like I do. Shepard, it's so...perfect." And then the Illusive Man was no more._

_He was right, about that much. Growing up on the mean streets of Earth, Shepard had little love for the planet of her birth. She never felt much regret for that, until seeing the look in the Illusive Man's eyes, his pure love for it, and the madness that it drove him to. Made all the more poignant by his last minute redemption._

"Does the accused have anything to say before we...pass sentence." Yamamaru was shaken, but still held his head in defiance, as if somehow he was going to win, when the game was rigged against him from the start.

In one smooth motion, the Commander rose to her feet, and locked eyes with the JAG. "I would simply like to say this: How dare you, Sir. How DARE you. There is a LOT that I will endure from the likes of you. I'm not going to stand here and pretend that my hands are clean, that my actions have all been as pure as the driven snow. And yes, I *DID* work *WITH* Cerberus, at a time when it seemed like they were the only agency doing anything about the Collector Threat." Shepard held her anger in check a bit...there was no need to rake the Systems Alliance as a whole over the coals for this one...they came through, in the end.

"And believe me, had I known back then that they were truly responsible for what happened on Akuze, that would have been enough...I never...NEVER would have allowed my...alliance with them to happen. EVER!" That part had hit especially close to home, as the recently discovery on Cronos station had revealed "But for you to sit there, and accuse me of the murder of Admiral Anderson a man who I...who was..."

She took a deep breath, pushing it all down, into a small ball in her sternum, regaining control of her emotions "A man for whom I had the utmost respect and sincere admiration for. To accuse me of betraying not only him, but essentially the entire Galaxy? And for what, so that you can feel that you've made an example of me, that you've crucified me? Made me pay for all the sins that you believe I've somehow escaped all the consequences of? Believe me, Sir, when I say that I would gladly, and without reservation have laid down my life, endured any torment to see the Galaxy safe."

_And she HAD died that day, to do it._

_Wait..what?_

_Where did that thought come from?_

Shepard regained control, and concluded "In the words of a great man, at a witch hunt much much like this, hundreds of years ago... 'Have you no sense of decency, Sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?'"

_"Stay with me. We're almost through this"_

Shepard trembled but only just slightly. Yamamaru boomed out "You will be seated!" Shepard returned to her chair, not smiling, at least not outwardly...but knowing she had won, definitively.

_"You did good child...you did good. I'm proud of you."_

And those words...words that Shepard had not shared...not in the debriefing, and certainly not here. Anderson's last words. They were hers and hers alone. She would guard them in her heart, jealously, until the day she died.

Hackett spoke "Very well then. All those in favor of proceeding with a formal court-martial of Command Shepard, say aye".

Yamamaru raised his hand, alone, defiant, and through clenched teeth, hissed "Aye!"

The other two Admirals raised their hands, indicating "Nay."

"The Nays have it. Yamamaru, you are excused. Howell, I believe you had some additional questions for the Commander?"

At first, the Vice-Admiral refused to move, frozen in place. Hackett and Howell glanced at him...at how small he seemed, at this moment. "You are excused, Admiral." Hackett repeated.

Yamamaru rose, once. Shoulders back, head held up. Bloodied, but refusing to be bowed. And walked out the door.

One gone, Howell stated "Commander, I'm interested in hearing more about what happened afterwards. We _did_ lose contact with you, and there was a comm blackout of several minutes before the Crucible activated."

Shepard took a moment to compose herself, and nodded. Then began to relate the rest of the tale.

* * *

"Shepard? Commander?"

"I...um..what do you need me to do?"

Oh God...there was so much blood at this point. Hers. Anderson's. The Illusive Man's. It was...so painful to get up. Through sheer force, she made her way to the console.

"Nothings happening. The Crucible's not firing. It's gotta be something on your end...Commander Shepard?"

"I..uh...I don't see..not sure how to..."

And then the comms it seems had gone dead. Or had she been the one to go dead? Her head was swimming so badly, she couldn't quite tell. But the last thing she heard is that the Crucible hadn't gone off yet...and she needed to figure out why. She took in a deep breath, as far as her cracked ribs would allow, and pulled herself back up to her feet once again; oh God, it hurt. She thought she knew pain on Akuze, when she almost lost her leg. But this...this was worse.

At first, Shepard thought she was hallucinating. Something was clearly standing in front of her, between her and the console.

Except...it was pretty well detailed for a delusion; clearly some sort of holographic projection of a humanoid race she was not previously familiar with. It almost looked like a Drell, except more...fishy...instead of lizard. Webbed hands, nictitating membrane over the eyes, yet clearly land based or amphibious perhaps. And flared crests around the head. It stood there, looking rather expectantly at her, and she at it; both remained silent.

She started to advance towards the panel, planning on walking through...whatever this was, when it suddenly spoke, in a rough, gravelly voice.

"Initial Translation matrix compilation completed. Attention Sentient: I have assumed control of this terminal. Your physical input is not required at this point in time. Primary function now executing...standby."

"What...are...what is?" The words were having trouble coming out for a moment. Shaking her head to clear out the cobwebs, she pulled herself back together, praying for a second wind. Oh God...there was still...so much blood.

Finally, she managed to croak out "Who are you?"

The hologram paused for a moment, and then finally answered. "You are identified as Holliandra Commander Shepard." then paused "Error level threshold exceeded, recompiling". It fuzzed out for a second, then reformed. "Assuming name structure: Commander: Possible political or military title. Shepard is assumed familial/clan designation. Please advise on how to address?

She swayed on her feet, thinking through what it had just said, and then finally answered "Shepard is fine. Or Commander Shepard."

"I am Khomm, a simulated intellect of the Q'nadir Sodality. In life, I was Prime Academician for the Q'nadiri Military Sciences Ministry. My thoughts and personality, my knowledge and experience...all that I was, have been encoded digitally, and lain dormant, waiting for this moment. I congratulate you, Sentient: I believe yours is the first cycle to successfully complete and interface the 'Crucible of Regret. ' I am...attempting to execute it's primary purpose. I am afraid that circumventing the Reaper base code still inherent in the systems of this station is proving far more challenging a task than we had originally anticipated; in the time that we have, I am capable of answering all questions that have been flagged as "unclassified" by the Sodality Intelligence and Control Ministry.

Shepard could hardly believe what she was seeing. Although she honestly didn't know what to expect at this point, other than perhaps the Crucible (why Regret?) was some sort of straight up weapon; clearly it was designed to pump out a LOT of energy. She had to know...

"The Crucible...what...what does it do? What's going to happen, when you finally get it to go off?" she coughed her question out, more than asking it.

Khomm paused for a moment, almost as if processing the request before replying: "According to my limited access to the records of this station...what you call the Citadel, that we called the Grand Hub, our cycle occurred five million of your standard years previous. Our analysis of what you refer to as the Reapers lead us to believe they were a purely engineered race, a construct of an alien intelligence whose identity we were never able to discern. We managed to capture one of them, and study it's base code. We also soon discovered that something in our genetic makeup, perhaps in the six-lobed structure of the Q'nadiri brain, rendered us immune to the...influence that these creatures were able to exert on others. Unfortunately, this blessing would also prove to be a key element in our eventual downfall.

Shepard started to ask for Khomm to elaborate, but then thought better of it. If anything, the effort to speak seemed a little too much for her right now. Despite herself, she slumped over the console.

"Attention, sentient. Your life signs are fluctuating."

Shepard grunted "Yeah...thanks...I'll get right...on that. Just tell me what I'd like to know...before I die. Okay?"

Khomm continued "Using what we were able to discern of their base code, we attempted to engineer a cyberwarfare construct, what you would call a "worm", that would cause them to instantly self-destruct...but we quickly discovered that the Reapers were hard coded at the physical level to resist such attempts. We turned our attention to the solution of actually reprogramming them, of changing their inherent nature. It was clear to us that despite their tremendous power, they were...limited. Barely a true simulated intellect, more like a very complex version of what I believe you would understand using the phrase "Virtual Intelligence." They were clearly caught within what we referred to as a "First Law Recursion Paradox", a common problem in the design and execution of synthetic intellect. They were tasked with the goal of saving life, and somehow twisted that mandate so that harvesting it met their criteria. Ultimately, we realized we could correct for this in a dramatic fashion...but that unless we transmitted the changes all at once, using an incredibly powerful carrier signal broadcast through the galaxy, utilizing what you refer to as the Mass Relays, the Reapers would ultimately re-initialize themselves back to their default state.

Shepard thought she understood the implications; ultimately, it would be a far more complex version of how she had rewritten the Geth heretics. To imagine what it would require to do the same thing to the Reapers was mind-boggling, however.

"Unfortunately, between our immunity to their Indoctrination techniques, and the very real threat that our project represented to them, the Reapers focused the crux of their attack on our race, first and foremost, determined to wipe us out, along with our work, before turning their attention to the rest of the Galaxy. We quickly realized that our cycle was lost; that we would not have enough time to construct the transmitter and execute the plan. Thus, we implemented a revised subset of the solution; we would seed the plans across the galaxy, so that future generations would come across it, and hopefully understand what we were trying to accomplish...although complete understanding would not be necessary. We made the design simple enough so that it could be adapted to changing technological paradigms, in case it took several cycles of trial and error before the a successful attempt was made. And we did our best to keep it hidden from the Reapers. Our last act as a species was to launch a desperate attack against the Grand Hub itself; our outward mission was a ruse, it's true purpose was to inject my programming deep into the control sub-systems of this station, which would then lay dormant until the Crucible finally interfaced with the station...ah...standby. Reaper firewalls are still proving more resilient than projected, I am not.." He suddenly paused, mid-sentence, and blinked out.

Shepard felt her breath catch in her throat. Damnit...DAMNIT! No...they had come too close, sacrificed too much for them to fail at this point! Laying against the console as she was, she started to press buttons at random, in some vain hope that somehow, she could help. After a long minute or two, Khomm suddenly re-materialized.

"...detected a structural flaw that was externally introduced into one of the core maintenance systems roughly 50,000 years ago. I believe I can use this...yes...there. My time is short, Sentient, I believe that I will need to permanently self-terminate my runtime code upon activation of the Crucible, in order to prevent the Reapers from stopping what is about to happen. There should be some files that I have left, however. A final tribute, so that in remembering us, we will be immortalized, and thus never had truly died as a species." He paused "I have time for one last question."

Shepard was tired. So...cold. The end would be soon. She knew that...she accepted it even. She just...just wanted to know everything was going to be okay now.. Taking another breath, she sighed out "Still haven't told me...EXACTLY what's going...to happen."

Chuckling slightly, Khomm replied "In short? This device will fundamentally change the foundational nature of the Reapers themselves. They will be completely incapable of harming another sentient being. I am...afraid that the blast IS going to severely damage the mass relay network, there was no way to prevent that. They simply weren't designed for carrying this sort of energy. But we have encoded a primary "instinct" as part of the transformation; the Reapers will be compelled to begin effecting immediate repairs.

Khomm paused. "Standby...there. It is done. I have interfaced with the Crucible at last, and linked it with the control system that coordinates the Galactic relay network..." His image started to grow static-y...breaking up...

In a warped and distorted voice, Khomm spoke his last words "Pre-charging phase has begun. Code integrity now at 79...60...42..per..c.c..c..en..t...C..c..ommander. ..good b1...thank y0%*124!&%$#

Khomm finally faded out of existence.

Shepard couldn't help but smile, as the great lethargy took hold. To have enough foresight to accept your doom, and make plans so that the future would be better prepared to win at last. The Q'nadiri seemed like an amazing people. Liara had a very similar idea with her time capsules...and a mind equally capable of looking at the very long game. She realized then, that was one of the things she had loved most about her.

Shepard was now completely convinced she was going to die at this point. They'd never get to her in time. It didn't matter anymore...Liara would be safe. She'd grieve, but she was strong. She would understand, and move on, in time.

There was a flash of blue light...it filled the totality of her vision, through slitted eyes...and then there was darkness.

* * *

Shepard had been waiting in the lobby for the better part of an hour, at Hackett's request. He finally emerged from one of the doors, and motioned to her. "Walk with me, Commander. We need to talk." She nodded and rose, falling into step with him, as they headed outside.

An impromptu garden had been set up, in order to give the temporary shelter a feeling of being "official grounds." It did give a sense of peace and decorum about the place. Once they were in a more secluded spot, Hackett chuckled. "Hell of a speech there, Shepard. Normally, I'd be a little...displeased that you let him get a rise out of you like that but." He suddenly sighed heavily "Holliandra, I do believe I owe you an apology. We knew that Yamamaru had been growing...ruthlessly single-minded over the past few months, but I have no idea it had descended to quite this level of paranoid delusion. Suffice it to say, it would appear he will be relieved of duty, pending an investigation into his fitness and competency. He may bounce back from this yet...but I wouldn't bet on it. However, had I realized that he'd take it as far as he did, I would have pushed back against allowing the inquiry to proceed at all.

Shepard nodded, but gave him a reassuring look. "It's alright, Admiral. I'm not going to lie, that wasn't pleasant. But I'm a big girl, I've handled a lot worse than him."

Still..why couldn't she shake the feeling that as she had told the tale...not all of it was...quiet as she remembered it? She couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Hackett snorted "Damn right you have." He then reached into his inner jacket pocket, and retrieved an envelope. "Now...as I mentioned before...bigger AND better things. There will be a nice ceremony for this later, of course, full white dress and all...but I thought giving this to you now would take the sting out of what happened today.

Shepard opened up the envelope and removed the contents. Inside was a letter, printed on the standard recyclable plastics that had supplanted paper in most cases. She quickly scanned the contents.

Her jaw fell open, slightly.

"Admiral...is this what I think this is?"

He smirked "Yes it is Commander. Yes it is. Or perhaps I should say Admiral Shepard. Furthermore, the Joint Chiefs have agreed to make your promotion retroactive. The record will ultimately show that you've actually been Admiral Shepard since the moment you set foot on Earth during the final battle against the Reapers. Let Yamamaru put that in his god damn pipe and smoke it.

Holliandra simply didn't know what to say.

No...no that wasn't true. Not at all. She knew, deep in her heart, the path she needed to take. What she had to do. What she always had to do, when the battle was won. When the war was over.

Straightening up, she handed the letter back. "With all due respect, Sir...I should inform you that I plan to resign my commission as soon as possible. I thank you and I thank the Joint Chiefs for this honor...but right now, I think the best thing for the Galaxy, and for myself, is for Commander...for Admiral Shepard to step back into the shadows, and for Private Citizen Shepard to start the next chapter of her life." Part of her couldn't believe she was doing this. She had been in the SA Military since age eighteen. It had literally been almost half of her entire life. To suddenly give it all up, so quickly felt so frightening...and yet so absolutely correct.

"Hmmmm" Hackett replied. He didn't seem disappointed at all. Nor surprised, for that matter. "Thought so. Huh. Well...I'm not going to lie, I feel the Systems Alliance will be poorer for your absence. On the other hand, I just won 50,000 credits in the betting pool. So thanks!"

Shepard gave him a Look. "You had a betting pool going on whether I would accept?"

Hackett nodded "Oh sure. Not the first time we've had action riding on you, either. Nobody but me believed you'd turn it down and resign your commission right then and there. But I know you...you're no coward, you're no slouch. But where else do you go from here? You would have gotten bored, I probably would have had to bust you down to Captain to keep you happy anyhow. With that said though...you ever change your mind...it'll be here, waiting. Right where you left it" He shrugged. "Still...Howell had bet that you would accept, and last indefinitely. She was very adamant about it. Though to be honest...think she has a little crush on you. She's very good at hiding it." He winked at her.

Shepard laughed. She had had to deal with that sort of thing quite a bit lately. Had suspected she would have to deal with it even more in the days to come.

"Admiral, before you resign, let me just say that it has been an honor and a privilege to serve with you. You are one of the finest examples of an officer and a soldier that I have ever met." He then saluted her, crisply.

Saluting back, Shepard responded "The honor and the pleasure were all mine, Admiral. I assure you."

Finally, taking a gentle, fatherly arm around her shoulder, Hackett said "Fine. Now that that's all out of the way, how about you take an old man on that fancy ship of yours for one last spin around the solar system before we call it a day? That new rank of yours, doesn't really count until you've gone out in the black with a ship under your command. At least, that's what I've always felt"

Shepard smiled warmly. "I think I would definitely like that."

The pair walked along, out into the street. And Shepard walked along, into the next chapter of her life.


	4. Once More Unto The Breach

A/N: Whew. This was the chapter I had been waiting to write. This one was a bit of a doozy, too. I may need to take a break for a little while, as things are going to start getting a bit more dark with the story from this point.

As always, please feel free to keep those comments and suggestions coming. An odd point: I had realized, as I gathered up, drafted, and refined my notes and plot ideas that the story was taking on a life of it's own in two important ways: First, it seemed to be playing out almost as a meta-fictive statement about how Bioware and EA handled the endings. The second was that it clearly was me working out my recovery from agitated depression. I didn't set out to do either of these things consciously yet it happened all the same. I wonder if this is how Hideaki Anno felt while writing Neon Genesis Evangelion?

It's also getting easier to write. That was always my biggest problem...lack of self-confidence. I'd start something, and when it didn't come out absolutely perfect, I'd give up. Now that I have an audience, albeit a small one, it's keeping me going so...thanks. You have my promise that if for some reason, I'm not able to write the rest of the story in full, you'll still hear how it ends, one way or the other.

Sharp-eyed followers will notice a last minute chapter renaming. It felt more appropriate.

And finally, yes...I probably fudged the canon from the start of ME1 just a bit. It HAS been six years since I last played it *heh*

Chapter Disclaimer: Henry V is the work of William Shakes...wait what? Public domain? Really? Oh, well then... fuck you, Billy! ;-D.

* * *

Shepard walked into the still night air, a light gentle breeze whipping through. It was almost 3:30am, and she had only just departed the Normandy an hour before. She smiled in reminiscence, as she and Hackett had suddenly boarded, and with just barely enough of a skeleton crew in place, made an impromptu journey to Alpha Centauri and back, taking the better part of the day.

It was just Systems Alliance crew on board...the ones that some historians might refer to in years to come as the "minor players". Adams, Donnelly and Daniels were down in Engineering of course. Westmoreland and Campbell were on for...some reason still guarding the War Room; Shepard couldn't help by playfully wonder if those two were ever going to hook up. Chakwas had almost missed it, having stepped off the ship and running into the two Admirals as they headed towards the airlock.

EDI had managed to get Joker aboard just in time. Even Vega and Cortez were aboard. Unfortunately, Ashley was offworld, or they would have tried to add her to the roster But Traynor, who had been on board calibrating the QEC was absolutely beaming, practically giddy at the knowledge that she would be one of the lucky few to accompany Admiral Shepard to the end of her military career.

Truth be told, it was lovely; simply lovely. It was everything Shepard could have hoped for, a small, intimate celebration of the ship, it's crew and commander. Vega and Traynor put together a small feast from the galley, poker was played, jokes were told. Dares were made, bets placed on the outcome. Far too much alcohol was consumed. People finally asked, and Shepard finally revealed the name of her pet hamster (Squeaky Deathpaw, Destroyer Of Worlds). People called dibs on Shepard's fish after it was revealed she never particularly cared for them, and filled the tank with different specimens only because there just happened to be one in her quarters ("Never understood...who takes up an entire wall with a fish tank as part of the design of the Captain's quarters in a ship?")

It was like something out of a dream, really. Poignant in it's own way. Oh certainly, truth be told, Shepard would be seeing many members of the crew again...but not like this. Never like this again. Not as their Commander. The family...her family...she was leaving them. She almost doubted her decision once or twice...but thoughts of Liara made her realize the next family that was waiting for her.

She was exhausted, and exhilarated all at once. She should have been trying to get back to the temporarily lodgings, and getting in touch with Liara. Let her know she was out of custody at long last, and ready to start a life with her. But there had been one more stop she had to make, one last promise to keep to herself.

Highgate Cemetery, in London. In a newly renovated clearing, stood a monument to Admiral David Anderson, hero of the First Contact War, honored leader...a beacon of hope to those trapped on Earth during the Reaper Occupation, a veritable icon of resistance to aggression and domination. A nearly complete circle of Doric columns surrounded a series of marble benches, along with an eternal flame. And near the rear-center stood a 9 foot statue of the man himself, hands on his hips, definitely gazing to the heavens.

Shepard smiled and chuckled to herself, shaking her head. A vision of the Admiral palming his face and shaking her head sprung to mind...imagining his reaction to it. It was surprisingly quiet and unoccupied...granted it was late at night, but they had only interred his body a few weeks back (the day before she emerged from her coma, as her misfortune would have it.). She had expected perhaps a few stragglers keeping vigil.

Still, she was relieved that wasn't the case. Was it jealousy? Was she embarrassed, that she had come, to rest her weary frame on one of the benches, and look up at the statue they had erected to the man who had meant so much to her, and didn't want to share the experience with anyone else?

She glanced over at the marker at the statue's feet: A carved inscription read:

** ADM. DAVID EDWARD ANDERSON**  
** HERO OF THE FIRST CONTACT AND REAPER WARS**  
** JUNE 8, 2137 - SEPTEMBER 11, 2186**

_ "Once more unto the breach, dear friends!"_

She closed her eyes and smiled. She wondered how many people knew how much he adored Shakespeare, and Henry V in particular. It was almost cliche really, having grown up in London as he did.

She looked up at the statue, eyes shining "It's me, Sir. Um...hell of a statue they put up for you, huh?" She laughed slightly, shook her head. "I just wanted to let you know...we did it. We won. It was all worth it in the end. And I'm just sorry that I..." Her throat clenched up tightly, and she was unable to speak for a moment. She was still a bit raw, after having to go through the retelling of their last minutes together for the inquiry. But she took a very deep breath, and continued "There was something I wanted to say. Always wanted to tell you..."

She closed her eyes, and the memories came...

* * *

**2172 C.E.**

Holliandra Shepard was a bit of a knockabout kid. She grew up into a tall, wiry teen...still possessed of rather attractive, largely Irish features, despite the fact that she looked like she didn't get nearly enough to eat. Add a few curves, and she'd clean up real well. The eyes were the first thing most people noticed, green...intense, in more than just coloration.

She did the best that she could, living on the mean streets of Detroit. All she knew was that both her parents had died in a car crash when she was very little, and they simply could not find anyone in what little family either parent had who was willing to take her in. And so she became a ward of the state, drifting through system, one halfway house and one foster family to the next. But she was quiet, she kept to herself, and she didn't have time for your shit. And by the time she was 14, it was quite obvious that shit was all the system had to offer her. So just like that, she dropped out. Took to life on the street. It wasn't all that difficult "going off the grid", in Detroit. The city had never recovered from the deathblow it received in the early 21st Century, and had always remained a ghost of it's former glory.

Not that growing up on the street was any sort of way to go through life either. She had to do things to survive. At first, she took to selling herself on the streets, to men who would be willing to pay for the privilege. But the disgust for the work she had was soon too much for her to endure, as well as simply dealing with the sort of men who would pay to fuck a 14 to 15 year old girl. Fortunately, Shepard soon found were her natural talents lie. She had a sharp eye...she knew how to use the shadows and cover to her advantage, knew how to be patient, to wait until the moment was right. And so thief, pickpocket, grifter...these became her professions.

If you were going to make it on the streets, really survive, for more than a few weeks, you needed a gang. Someplace to crash, people to support you. It wasn't all fucking sunshine and singalongs, more like a slightly rabid wolf pack. And it was with the Five Mile Furies that she ended up. All women, and you really had to like women if you were going to be a part of the Furies. Fortunately, Shepard had made peace with her proclivities by age 13, and that made her real popular with many of the other members.

When she was 17 and a half, her current "girlfriend/fuck buddy of the month" was a tall, muscular and blond 19 year old named Tharka. Gibbons? Gibson? McGivvens? Shepard could never remember the last name. Didn't matter. Tharka was a brute, crass and mean, but she was sweet on Shepard in her own twisted way, and that meant no one else, in the gang or out, would mess with her. Plus, the sex wasn't half bad, although it was just very angry, most times. Tharka didn't do nice.

Still, she had ambition...a dream even, though Shepard found it rather ridiculous.

"We're gonna save up a pile of bucks, and make it to this place I heard about. Called Omega." she would ramble on, usually after a roll in the sack. "It's like that island, you know? The one where all the pirates used to live on and shit? And those hot blue chicks, you know the ones?"

"What, the Asari?" Shepard had never met one...but she had to admit, the idea of a planet filled with nothing but blue alien women sounded pretty appealing to her.

"Yeah, yeah, the Asari. Oh my god, those Asari. Got this kickass merc gang, call themselves the Eclipse. And we go, and we sign up for that. It'll be guns and booze and fucking all the time!"

Shepard sighed, looking up at the leaking, rotting ceiling in the flop they squatted in. "Pretty sure they hate humans, totally, in the Terminus Systems. I read it in one of the newspapers or something."

Tharka snorted "Oh please...that's bullshit! Total bullshit! That's just the Government trying to scare us, because if people knew the truth, knew how awesome and wild it was out there, everyone would be trying to move there. C'mon...you know you gotta tell me...it's an awesome idea!"

"Yeah...I...guess." Shepard didn't know what else to plan for, honestly. She sure as shit didn't want to stay on this craphole of a planet she was born on. Born to the first generation that lived their whole lives with the knowledge that mankind was not alone in space...and yet...no one seemed to care. Not really. You'd think that after finding something out like that, Earth would want to get its shit together. Stop killing each other, stop treating people like so much exploitable meat, do something about people living in the streets and the corporations running everything. If just so all the humans didn't look so fucking embarrassing to the other aliens. But no...it's like the only people who cared, who were getting anything out of it were people with money. To slumdogs like Tharka, and her, and the other Furies...it was all just stories; things you heard about, but didn't really make a difference in your life.

She sighed heavily; Shepard really didn't want to run off to Omega with Tharka. Hell, she didn't particularly like her all that much in general but damned if she knew what else to do as an alternative.

But as fate would have it, an alternative soon found her.

She was walking down one streets, on the outskirts of Livonia, a few bucks still in her pocket from some goods she had managed to fence, and she felt like getting a burger and a beer. And that's when she walked by the newly constructed building...seems the Systems Alliance was making a recruitment push. Didn't know much about it...was supposed to be some sort of Space United Nations Army, or whatever. If it was as much a part of the System as the State and Fed Governments, she didn't particularly care to know more. Still...oh hey! They had a holographic display on the side of the wall. Shepard had never seen one of those before, and it intrigued her.

She walked up closer, could start to hear the audio from the promotional video playing...

_"The Systems Alliance Armed Forces wants...YOU! We take good men and women, and make them great! Great...like recently promoted Captain David Edward Anderson, proud graduate of the N7 program! Hero of the First Contact War! And now the newest Commanding Officer of the SSV Tokyo! At a recent recruitment rally in London, England, Captain Anderson had this to say:_

_Anderson spoke in his soft, commanding baritone "There are those who believe that Earth has too many problems of its own, that somehow we need to take care of all of them first, before we even think of continuing further out towards the stars. But I'm not one of those people!; I believe it was Tsiolkovsky who said "Earth is the cradle of humanity, but one cannot live in a cradle forever." And what's what the Systems Alliance is to me! Even though, here on Earth, we're still many nations, many different people, and many voices, all of us with many problems of our own, the Systems Alliance allows us to venture out amongst the Galaxy, to speak and act as one, not simply for the benefit of the few, for the profit of this particular nation, or that political bloc. Not simply for the American, the Chinese, or the African, but for ALL humans, everywhere._

_These individuals I mentioned before, now... they would call for the Mass Relays to be shut down, or worse. To simply bury our heads in the sand and pray that nothing changes further. And look, I'll be the first to admit that the Alliance isn't perfect. We've made our fair share of mistakes. Believe me, I'm painfully aware of how badly our very first contact with an alien species went. But even the most cynical of us has to admit that the conflict was short, the Galactic community stepped up to intervene, and that the benefits of human space exploration have and always will continue to outweigh the risks. We can safely say that we are now at the closest point in our entire history to truly solving the great plagues that still bedevil us today: poverty, hunger, conflict, resource shortages. To all those who fear the future, I say this: Now is the most exciting time to ever be alive!_

_Looking straight into the camera now, Anderson concluded "Look, I'm not going to say life in the Systems Alliance military is easy. You (pointing a finger straight at the camera) _will_ work harder than you ever thought possible. But it's GOOD work. Something you can be PROUD of. You aren't simply serving this or that particular nation. You are serving Mankind itself. I can promise you, you will become a better person, as you and your service helps us all to become better people. My name is Captain David Anderson, and I'm inviting you to share my vision of a better tomorrow!"_

_The feed switched back to the narrator "Sign up today! An initial ten year enlistment guarantees limited pension, education grants, and settlement assistance. Are you good? Think you have what it takes to be great? Then join the Systems Alliance!"_

Shepard simply stared at the display. Absolutely, completely, and irredeemably dumbstruck. She didn't consider herself an easily swayed individual. Indeed, she took a certain perverse pleasure in possessing a cynicism far beyond her years. But this Captain...this...what was the name? Anderson? He stirred something in her. It was like he was speaking to her, and her alone...like he understood how fed up she was with what few dead end prospects she had here on Earth...he knew, somehow, that she had no clue how to get out, and was throwing her a lifeline.

She stood there, and watched the video loop over, three...four...five times. Hugging herself, shivering against the Autumn cold as she did . She didn't care though. She knew. She would never be joining Tharka on her stupid trip to Omega. She knew where she was going now...

The door to the SAAF Recruitment Office flew open, with a *WHOMP*, and Sergeant Paul Davidson, an up and coming junior recruitment officer, straightened up. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the young woman...just a girl really...in her filthy oilskin duster, ragged jeans, dirt streaking her cheeks, and ripped flannel shirt. She seemed like a woman possessed though, as she strode up to the desk, stood as straight as possible, and then announced.

"My name is Holliandra Kathryn Shepard. In 6 months and 8 days, I'm going to be 18. So you better be ready to take me then, okay? Cause I'm going to sign up. Don't forget about me, don't let them give all the spaces away. Alright?"

Davidson couldn't help but smile. Certainly, they had set up near the depressed areas of Greater Detroit area for good reason, hoping to attract warm bodies...but he'd yet to seen anyone walk in and make a pronouncement as he had just seen. This was a woman who was either going to be in for a world of disappointment when she realized how much hard work boot camp was going to be...or she was going to be one of the truly great ones, and some day, people would talk, and he'd tell them:

_"I was there, the day Holliandra Shepard joined the Systems Alliance Military. I was the one who helped her fill in and sign the paperwork"_

* * *

Davidson could have easily forgotten about the young redhead and her gung-ho declaration...but she came back, the same night, and once again declared.

"Hey, it's me again. Holliandra Shepard. Just wanted to remind you, I'm going to be 18 in 6 months and 7 days. Just wanted to make sure you still had space for me, okay?"

He smiled "Alright...you mind if I call you Holly"? She nodded. "Alright Holly...tell you what. Let me give you some information" He handed her a cheap, read-only backlit display unit that was produced en mass on off-world colonies, but it held a wealth of information for prospective recruits. Shepard looked at it reverently, and then gazed suspiciously at the Sergeant. "What...you're just...giving this to me? To keep? Really?"

Davidson nodded once, smiling reassuringly "Well of course. I think that'll keep you busy for a while."

Shepard smiled and then straightened up "Thanks! I'll be back!"

Davidson had assumed she meant on her 18th birthday. He did not expect, that first thing in the morning, two days later,she would be there, waiting for him and the rest of the office staff to open up.

"Hey, it's me again. Holly Shepard. 6 months, 5 days. You still got space right? I read this, all of it, I wanted to ask you some stuff. Okay?"

To her credit, she asked some good question. It was clear she was particularly interested in career specializations, and while he kept trying to tell her that at this stage of the game, it was like putting the cart before the horse, she kept pressing him for more information. And so he gave her several more advanced guidebooks on specializations, focusing on engineering, front line infantry, and the Infiltrator Corps...the last one being something Holly had specifically asked about several times.

A week and a half into the routine, the Lieutenant that oversaw the office turned to Davidson. "Paul...you have to do something about this Shepard kid. It's sweet how gung-ho and all she is...but this is getting ridiculous. It's disruptive if nothing else. She can't keep coming in here and eating up time...YOUR time, because she keeps insisting on only talking to you. If she's really that crazy to sign up before her 18th birthday, she can get her guardian to sign an early induction waiver, since she's 17. Hell, why's she here in the middle of the day anyhow. Shouldn't she be in school?"

Davidson sighed "C'mon LT. You and I both know the kid's probably from a broken home...or worse...could even be living on the streets. And you know we're not picky...we don't ask questions, not with the quotas they're giving us these days. But...I've been giving the matter some thought. I got an idea. And trust me on this one, it'll be great. I figure it will either scare her off..."

"Or?" the Lieutenant inquired?

"Or it'll be a major PR coup. So look...we've got some money in the discresionary budget, right? Just let me tap into that, a little bit, if you're willing?"

The Lieutenant nodded "Alright. I'm willing to see what happens for a week."

Davidson smiled "A week's all I need. Thanks, LT."

* * *

Shepard walked in, once again, first thing in the morning, and walked straight to Davidson's desk. Before she could open her mouth, he motioned to the chair in front of him. "Holly, good to see you. Have a seat, alright. Got an offer for you. Interested?"

She sat down on the chair in a flash and nodded once, gazing at him with ferocious intensity.

"Look, I don't know what your situation is. I don't care. But you've...ah...impressed the brass enough, that they want to make you a special offer. And no, before you ask, we can't waive our age requirements. No early induction waiver, you gotta wait until 18. But...well...look. How would you like to be a preliminary recruit? Junior grade of course."

It was a bullshit, made up rank, of course. But the kid didn't need to know that.

"Holy shit! I mean damn...ah...yeah! Yeah of course! What...what do I have to do?"

He leaned back, steepling his fingers "Now, I'm gonna warn you. This is hard work. Hard, boring, stupid work. But if you want to join the Systems Alliance, I mean you REALLY want this...then it's here for you. I'll throw a little money your way, under the table of course, so long as you don't tell anyone else. Even toss in a daily meal ticket for our commissary and some clothes. And all you gotta do...is anything we tell you to. If we ask you to clean every damn toilet with a toothbrush, you say "Yes Sir, how many strokes per toilet?" If we send you out for coffee, you damn well go out and get coffee. And that..." he pointed towards her stringy, long red hair. "Gets buzzed today. No exceptions. So...are you in?"

Shepard smiled brightly to herself in the dirty mirror. Her head freshly shaved, dressed in a tight, ribbed cotton tank top, green fatigue pants and combat boots. And the boots..oh...the boots! They didn't lace up or nothing, you just pushed a button, and they locked themselves into place automaticallywith these buckles. They even gave her a dog tag and a chain, which she read, over and over again:

** SHEPARD, HOLLIANDRA K.**  
** PRELIMINARY RECRUIT, JG**  
** Service #: 0008675309**

(The service number was a dummy number reserved for demo material. Again, the kid didn't need to know that.)

And that was about the time Tharka came into the room.

"Hey...where th' fuck you been...holy shit!" She started to laugh. "What...what the fuck are YOU wearing?!"

Shepard frowned deeply, and turned to view the other girl. "Yeah, yeah, you can stop your laughing, asshole. I'm..." and she straightened her back "I'm going to join the Systems Alliance Military!"

Tharka snorted "You can't join, dumbass. You're not 18 yet. Duh!"

"You're the fucking idiot. They made me a Preliminary Recruit and everything. I get to go work for them and stuff even before I'm 18. So...so there."

Tharka frowned darkly "Oh my god, you are SUCH a stupid ass bitch. Don't you know soldier's just another word for slave?"

"Ha! You're the one that talks about going to Omega and being a fucking merc. So what make your idea so much better'n mine?!"

"Cause I'm going to call the fucking shots in MY life, that's why! Not gonna be someone's little puppy dog...Oh yes Sir, Of Course Sir, I'll kill him right away Sir, and can I suck your cock while I'm at it?"

Holly was right up next to her, her face dangerously close to the other womans. "You fucking shut your mouth, Tharka. You're just jealous..they probably wouldn't even take you! You can take your stupid fucking idea about going to Omega and shove it up your asshole."

"Yeah, you know what? Get the fuck out, bitch. Furies don't need some dumb military groupie who's gonna do whatever the Man says. My house, my rules...so either give this stupid shit up, or get the fuck out and go live on the street. So what's it going to be?" Tharka crossed her arms, a smug triumphant smirk on her face. She figured she held all the cards, that Holly wouldn't dare try to make it out on her own without protection.

It only took two minutes for Holly to gather up what few possessions she had, and head out, slamming the door viciously behind her.

* * *

It was a bit of a joke, at first. The step-and-fetchit kid, as some of the office staff took to calling her. But...damn if she didn't take it deadly serious. After two weeks, Davidson gave her a bit of a test, giving her a building key and letting her open the place up for him. She never let him down once. Never stole, never vandalized a damn thing. She got every food order, every coffee order, every courier errand down right. Put up with every demanding, demeaning task asked of her, hell...seemed to enjoy it almost. One of the other Staff Sergeants, Velma Swinton, couldn't believe how much the kid was smiling as she scrubbed at the grout in the women's bathroom.

She did have one disastrous episode with trying to feed the Lieutenant's fish, but no one really held that against her, given how horrified and hard on her self she was about it.

With what little money she had coming her way, Shepard was barely able to afford a weekly room in a unheated flophouse, keeping her nights busy. She read voraciously, everything she could about military life. History, tactics, weapons..ship identification. Survival, first aid. She asked for and received a mocked up Avenger to practice cleaning and disassembling, and in two weeks was impressing anyone who would watch with her ability to strip and clean the gun blindfolded in record time.

In the dead of winter though, she showed up to work on time one day, with a 103 degree fever, but refused to go home; eventually, Davidson called the quartermaster, obtained some survival blankets, a hydrogen-cell powered space heater, and sent her home, with a promise to check in every day, but that she was not to return to work until she was well. And not long after that was when Sergeant Swinton took her on as a roommate, refusing to let her spend another night in that rented room.

On some evenings, they'd let her use the gym that was adjacent to the office...and she started to fill out nicely.

Christmas came along, and there was a little bit of gift giving in the office. Swinton got her a harmonica...it had been her Grandfathers, and had a lot of sentimental value. He had been a military man, just like Swinton's Father had, and she herself was now, so it seemed fitting. Shepard only took it up because it seemed like an otherwise waste of a perfectly lovely gift, only to find out years later she actually enjoyed playing it.

Davidson got her a model kit of an Alliance Frigate. He had really loved model building as a boy, and thought Shepard might get a kick out of it as well. "It'll be good for your patience, hand eye coordination. You got your heart set on trying out as a sniper, you're going to need that and more." She thanked him profusely, but was rather unimpressed with the gift...until she decided to give it a try.

That model was still in a footlocker back on the Normandy in the Captain's cabin, waiting to be offloaded.

The months flew by...winter turned to spring. And then the day had finally arrived at last: April 11th, 2172. Shepard's heart was racing with anticipation, as she opened up the office at 7am on the dot. She almost had a heart attack when she found the rest of the staff was already there...along with a camera crew...they all yelled out

"SURPRISE!"

There was a banner, cake, and another model kit for her. The Lieutenant himself handed her his best pen for her to fill out and sign the paperwork, had shook her hand, and told her how proud he was of her, and that she better not forget them, that she better write them all back, and let them know how boot camp was going. The camera crew interviewed her about her experience, and just as Davidson predicted, "The Holly Shepard Story" became a wildly successful promotional video for the next year.

Shepard wept openly, as she hugged Swinton and Davidson fiercely. She was going to make them so proud...she swore to herself that she would.

* * *

**2177 C.E.**

For the families the members of Beta Company of the 18th Kepler Regulars...the ones who went never came back, Akuze was their nightmare. For Lieutenant Holly Shepard, her nightmare was making it out alive.

Newly commissioned and fresh from making the ranks of the N7s, this was one of her first missions out.. They never knew what to expect going in…pirates maybe. Raiders…maybe even some sort of epidemic. Early stage colonization was always risky, the initial assessment teams can only catch so much before the decision is made to actually send people out for the long haul. Every man and woman who made up the pioneer team knew this, accepted the risk.

They were gone, when they got there. All just...gone. Like a great hand had scooped them up and taken them away. Not a single survivor could be found. It was hard not to be unnerved...but Shepard didn't let it get to her. Slavers could just as easily grab every person, and drag them off to the Terminus Systems for sale on the black market. The engineering squad worked to fix damaged systems, determined to pull what info they could, what clues they could gather, so that Command could figure out what move to plan next.

Shepard was perched up in her nest...the great avenging guardian angel. That is how she saw herself, sweeping the horizon with her high-powered scope. Just let some damn Batarian pirate, or a pack of those ugly-ass Vorcha try to sneak up. She would rain righteous vengeance upon them all. No one was going to get the jump on those she watched over. Not on her watch.

But she never could have imagined the unholy terrors that swept through the night, taking men, one giant gulletfull at a time. And when they could even get a bead on these things, these giant nightmare worms, they'd spit out acid, melting the poor bastards…not even shields made a difference. How could anyone have possibly prepared for this?

The great and terrible irony was that Shepard only survived the initial attacks because she was an Infiltrator. Perched up on a rocky outcropping, she was well hidden, and well situated away from the carnage. She was simply...doing her job.

She desperately fired off round after round, but it didn't seem to make a damn difference…how could she get a head shot off something that didn't even have a normal head?! And what shots she did made didn't even slow the monsters down at all! She fired until her gun jammed from overheating, and she had to let it cool down...but still, it didn't matter. They were gone...Shepard had to watch all of them die, powerless to stop it.

Most of the supplies were destroyed, and food and water were scarce. But that was the easy part. Detroit had taught her how to ignore hunger when she needed to, how to endure at least that much. The N7 training took that initial spark of survival skill and turned it into a roaring blast furnace. No...there were a lot more problems than simply scrounging for food, during her time on Akuze.

At night, she made desperately calls on her short range radio, trying to find the other troops, but soon came to a chilling conclusion:

"I might be the only one left…"

She tried to keep that thought out of her head…continued to try and convince herself that all she had to do was join up with a regrouped squad, and everything would be alright. They'd all hang tough together.

That she hadn't completely and utterly failed in her duty.

For days, it was a cat-and-mouse game to survive. Trying to stay one step ahead. She could never tell if it was simply a pair, or a whole herd of these things. Most of the time they couldn't even be seen. She did manage to catch on that vibrations attracted them. She'd stagger her steps, trying to keep from walking too still, those damn things were still hunting her, still trying to chase her down. She managed to confuse them, occasionally mislead them, firing off sniper shots at rocks, causing landslides that would trick them into thinking she was elsewhere. But they started to catch on, started to get canny about it.

She soldiered on, convince that it was just a matter of time before she ran into survivors from her company. But it was days still…a week…and no sign or word from anyone else.

One evening she got stupid and slipped on some loose gravel, wrenching her ankle. One of the monsters took the opportunity to try and attack. She managed to hobble away, but she got her leg badly burned by acid in the process. She was able to clean it off, but just barely. Soon, it was clear that if she didn't get medical attention soon, she was going to lose it.

A lucky break, the next day; she came across a rocket launcher. It was heavy for her to lug around, especially with a badly injured leg, but she wasn't about to give up what seemed to be her best...possibly her only advantage.

And then one day, almost two weeks after their initial drop...the call came in over her comm unit. A troop transport was coming in hard, Shepard got a message to them, told them to assume that the LZ was hot. And that was when one of those damn things came up again, managed to pin her down inside a cave.

It was in insane tactic. The thing was so close. The large divot she was trapped in. that barely met the definition of the word 'cave'...her chances of surviving the backblast once she fired were...slim at best. She was so close to getting off this slaughterhouse, and yet escape seemed so impossibly far away. It was as if Akuze itself refused to give up it's prey.

Alright then...alright then guys. I'm coming. I'm coming to join you. But guess what? I'm going to be riding on the fucking corpse of the thing that killed you all!

"Open up, you asshole…..open up!"

When the SSV _Capulet_ finally touched down, only one person answered the general call for evac: Lieutenant Holliandra Shepard, using her sniper rifle as an impromptu crutch, her left leg nearly blackened, first and second degree burns over her arms and torso. Dead eyes staring straight ahead She almost made it up the gangplank before collapsing.

* * *

They brought her to a military hospital on Calliope, some garden word in one of the systems of Artemis Tau. She hadn't really been paying attention, especially as she had been barely conscious for for the first day or two. They called it a fugue state.

But they managed to save her leg. Just. She had done the right thing, treating it the way she did as soon as it got burned. It didn't surprise her much...she was always a survivor. She'd need physical therapy though, to regain full use of it...and that's what she was on Calliope for.

It was the first time she ever did PT. It would not be the last.

They could heal her body. They could fix her leg. They could put all the physical pieces back, and turn her into the perfect specimen she had been, once again. But what could they do for her mind? They wanted her to open up...the psychotherapists and the specialists and the eggheads. They all said she needed to talk, that it was alright, that it was a safe space. But...how could they understand? How could they truly know what she was going through? They weren't military people. They weren't soldiers, weren't warriors.

God...it has been her squad. She was supposed to have their backs. And she had failed them all. She couldn't hide behind the excuse of "Well, what could I do with a sniper rifle?" A good Systems Alliance soldier, in her mind, should be flexible, should be ready to adapt to whatever the situation requires. If only she could have...could have...been better. If only she could have kept from allowing each and every one of them to die.

The Systems Alliance Military was her life. She loved what she had there. She loved what she built. And now...looking at the N7 hoodie that she held in her hands, that only a privileged few got to wear...it was just a reminder of how terribly unworthy she was of it. She was supposed to have been the best of the best. And when the time came to prove it...all she had to show for it was her own skin being saved. What comfort was that to the families of every other Marine down there? Every other one who had just as much...if not MORE right to have walked into the LZ and straight onto the Capulet as she had.

All the Doctors...all these headshrinkers...she could never bring herself to open up to them. What could they possibly say to her, that would mean anything?

It was clear what she had to do; she loved the Systems Alliance. She had fought for, and nearly died for it. But she would never be worthy of it again. And it was best that she remove herself from it. Maybe she could find a job as a military instructor...wasn't that the old saying? "Those who can do, those who can't, teach?" If nothing else...she could be a cautionary tale for all the others who would come after her.

It was a warm day...local Springtime...the golden hour, around 6pm or so. The light streaming through her bedroom window, her duffle packed and ready to go. Her resignation letter on the bed. Right next to her. It was time to take a walk to the Commander's office.

And that was when a sharp knock came at her door.

She looked up, numbly. A space of a few seconds hung before her, before she finally called out, almost a sigh "Come in."

And that was when the impossible man walked into her room, from out of the holovideo she had seen, five years before.

Captain David Anderson walked in to her room.

She didn't even have to think...she snapped to immediately, like a well-tuned mechanism, up off the bed, at attention, a crisp, perfect salute.

Anderson smiled softly, chuckled a few times, and held up a hand "At ease, Lieutenant, at ease. I uh...was passing through. Thought I should meet the woman who walked out of hell."

Switching to at ease...that seemed a little more...tricky. She did it, in a slightly jerking, unsure fashion. She blinked for a moment, and said "Captain Anderson...I."

Oh God...how could she face him? How could she face HIM, of all people, right now?

She pushed past the tightness in her throat. "It's an honor to meet you, Sir."

His eyes widened a touch "Ah...you know me? Hope the reputation that seems to have preceded me is a good one then."

She did her best to keep her voice from cracking. "I...I ah...I accepted your invitation, Sir."

Anderson had a quizzical expression on his face, not immediately understanding the reference.

Shepard continued "To ah..share in your vision. For a better tomorrow."

He mouthed the last few words. "Yes...yes...I remember. The recruitment video, right after the promotion, and..." he suddenly clapped his hands together. "'The Holly Shepard Story'! Of course. I remember that video. You're THAT Shepard?" He chuckled again "You know...I'm embarrassed to admit it, but the first time they played that for me, I didn't believe it. I assumed it was a put on, to bring the teens into the corps. I told them "Come on, no one is going to believe this kid is for real." He tilted his head slightly, sheepishly rubbing the back of it for a moment. "In that, I suppose I owe you an apology, Lieutenant."

Apology? Her...how...how could he think he ever had to ask anything of the sort?

He glanced over at the duffle bag on her bed, neatly zipped and ready to go. At the letter right next to it. He looked down for a moment, frowned slightly, though not unkindly, and then looked back towards Shepard "I didn't think they were planning to discharge you for another three weeks?"

Shepard swallowed hard, despite herself. "I...that is Sir, I'm..."

Time seemed to stop. Her mind froze. She was flummoxed. How could she even continue on with this? She could have told anyone...ANYONE else why she was resigning, why she HAD to resign. All the way up to the Admiral-Of-The-Fleet. But the one man she couldn't...was right here in front of her.

He looked her in the eyes, and held it, a good ten seconds passing unspoken between them. His expression softened for a moment, changing. He began to close the distance between them.

_"Oh God...Oh God...he knows. He knows, and he's about to tell me why I shouldn't have even bothered to sign up in the first place."_

She stood perfectly still, a silent testament to the oncoming and absolute collapse of her life.

Anderson sighed heavily for a moment, reached up, clapped her gently on the shoulder, and said "Look...I'm not going to pretend I know what happend on Akuze. Not in it's totality. But I've...I've seen things LIKE it. I've seen people walk through the gauntlet like you have...hell..I've had to walk through one or two of them myself" He took a breath, sharply through his nose, gathering his thoughts further. "Soldier that walks out of that sort of thing...they can end up going down a few different ways. Now, there's one soldier, one perfectly fine, capable grunt, they run into this, they survive...and they simply can't go on. In their mind, they've cheated death once, looked it so straight and so long in the eyes, and they find they can't bring themselves to risk doing it again. Something inside them breaks. There's no shame in that, it's just the way...it's just the way some people are" He then looked Holly dead in the eyes again. "But not N7. You and me...we look death in the eyes, and we DARE it to walk towards us, to cross that line we just drew in the sand between us. If we didn't...if we couldn't...we never would have made it THAT far. In that, I have absolute faith.

Shepard felt like she wanted to vomit, frozen in stark stillness. It all seemed...completely unreal at this moment.

He then placed the other hand on her unoccupied shoulder "So that leaves a different path. Sometimes, a person goes through something like Akuze, and they wonder "Why me? Why my squad, why my team? Why not me? Why make me watch that? Why fail to give me the power to save them all, to the last man? And sometimes that person thinks that all their triumphs so far is failure, their accomplishments suddenly become...like bitter ashes in the mouth. And they wonder how they can go on, somehow knowing in their heart that they are...not worthy, of their squad mates, the uniform...most importantly, of themselves. 'How do I go on...not that I succeeded in living, but I failed to die, with the rest"

A single tear started to trace down Shepard's cheek.

"Lieutenant, I would tell a person like that...if I ever met someone like that, and they needed to hear it from me...I'd say...you make their deaths into something more. You pick up their fallen banners from the field of battle, each and every one. You fight for them, harder than you ever fought before; those who were denied the chance to keep on fighting themselves. You wake up each and every day, determined to be their champion...their Paragon. And each and every victory you achieve from that day on becomes their victory as well. Because a victory shared is thus amplified. Because if that person, that Champion steps off the field before it's truly time...takes themselves off the stage before their race is fully run...then those men really have died for nothing. They'll have no one left to carry on the battle, in their names.

Shepard blinked a few times. And in that instant, from one second to the next, she was another person. New. Different. Reborn. And yet...still the same woman who had been sitting there, not 5 minutes before, ready to hand in her resignation.

She focused on Anderson. She refused to brush aside the tear just then, letting it stay in place. But her voice, stronger than when he first walked in that door, rose to her throat, and she responded "If...you'll excuse me, Sir. I think there's some unpacking that I need to take care of."

He gave her shoulders one last squeeze, nodded, a tight, soft grin of approval on his lips. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant Shepard." He then saluted her.

She saluted back, and replied "The privilege was all mine, Captain. Thank you...for coming to visit."

He nodded his head once, and then turned to leave...he paused at the doorway though, and turned back, just for a few seconds. "And Shepard? No matter how you felt things played out down there on Akuze...People are starting to notice you."

She couldn't help but crack a slight, sly smile "People like you, Sir?"

He laughed softly "Ah...Lieutenant. I don't think this is the last time we'll meet. Take care of yourself."

She nodded, watched him walk off into the dark of the hallway, the sunlight behind her dying into dusk.

"I'll make sure of that.." she thought to herself.

* * *

**2179 C.E.**

The pounding on the table from her squad mates fists had begun to perfectly synch with the pounding in Shepard's head.

"L-T-C! L-T-C! L-T-C!"

It was Shepard's 25th birthday. Add to that, she had also just been promoted to Lt. Commander, having served with distinction during the Raid on Toufan the year before, scoring many kills ,keeping Batarian forces bottled up, and moving in to sabotage what shield generators and turrets they had set up.

Mix all of that up with shore leave on Omega, a more common occurrence now that the Alliance eager to make a continued show of strength in the Terminus Systems, and that was a recipe for a completely debauched "lost weekend." One last huzzah before Shepard had to be..just a little bit more of a proper role model.

"L-T-C! L-T-C! L-T-C!" the other Marines continued to chant and pound their fists in time on the large table in a darkened corner of the Afterlife bar. While their presence was barely tolerated, they kept their tab paid and weren't outright assaulting the dancers or the other patrons, so they hadn't been moved against...yet.

The drink in Shepard's hand...was a color that she didn't think they had invented a name for yet. It also on fire, and it took a not inconsiderable amount of effort for her to blow it out. She was drunk, but she wasn't THAT drunk, not yet. Although she suspected that was about to quickly change.

He held up her hand, and the chanting began to lower in volume, down to almost a whisper. And then suddenly Shepard called out in a pleasant slur:

"Heeere's..to us!"

"WHO'S LIKE US?!" they chanted back in military precision and projection, pounding on the table again with each word.

She steadied her hand "Damn few! Annnnnd...they're...

She blinked, trying to focus.

...alllllll dead!"

And with that, she threw the shot back in one easy, well-practiced motion.

Oh...damn. She was REALLY going to pay for that. Later. On the other hand, considering how ongoing the party had been since Friday afternoon, she was actually afraid that if she allowed herself to sober up, the hangover would literally kill her. Friday had started with gambling, a fistfight with a bunch of Batarians who refused to pay up when Shepard demanded her winnings, purchasing some MDMA with said winnings, ingesting the aforementioned MDMA, and dancing all night, waking up the next morning in bed with one of the Asari dancer girls, and a female gunnery sergeant (from another ship, and not under her command...thank God!)

Saturday had been tattoos and booze. Lots of it. Dancing girls and...someone had promised cake?

Holy shit, did no one get her cake?

"Jesus fucking Christ!" one of the Marines (Joe Sansouci, Shepard thought?) "You are like a...like a fucking Booze Goddess or something, Shep!"

She wobbled in her chair a little bit, as the others started to chant:

"BOOZE GODDESS! BOOZE GODDESS! OI! OI! OI!"

over and over.

And that's when Shepard fell face first onto the table with a loud thump But quickly raising a hand up to silence any protest, she started to lift herself back up.

"Holy...holy...shit. One of...one of you assholes...better be gettin' me a new liver...for my birthday. Now where...are my god damn...chick'n wings?" And with that, she carelessly tossed the now empty shot glass into the corner, where it broke with a loud crunch.

A basket a wings was pushed her way.. Although no one was fooling themselves into thinking it was actually chicken.

Shepard ate, despite her better judgement. Whatever it was, it was good, at least with enough blue cheese and buffalo sauce. She laughed as the thought danced through her addled brain:

"Join the Systems Alliance! Meet strange and fascinating beings. And eat them!"

She let her vision wander for a moment, couldn't help but notice the pair of Asari at the bar. She had to admit, she was right, back on Earth. The blue alien women WERE some of the best part of finally getting off-world. She frowned suddenly, noticed they were spotting Eclipse pauldrons on their shoulders...clearly not "party girls", or at least not the kind she wanted to get involved with but...holy crap, were they leading some other girl on a leash?

She was human...someone who had been rather stocky, but was now malnourished, with a bit of a glassy, dazed look in her eyes. She clearly had a desperate need for more than just food. And she was tightly bound in a harness of black leather, fishnet and rubber, connecting up into a thick posture collar, a leash leading off from it, and into the hand of one of the Asari.

And then Shepard could not believe her eyes.

_"Fuck me sideways. They made her their gimp."_

It was Tharka.

Shepard continued to stare despite herself. And without intending too, caught the other woman's gaze. There was an instant of recognition, the two seeing each other for what they were. And Tharka quickly turned her head and bowed it, as if trying to blot it all out in sudden shame.

"Hey! Hey! Hey...heeeeeeeey...Cooooommmanduuuurrrrrrr!" Lieutenant Jenny Sparks was a particularly loud and boisterous drunk, who was usually straight as a matchstick and as fun as doing taxes until you got a bunch of liquor into her bloodstream. Then she got all manner of...friendly. She draped herself over Shepard's frame, and begin and nibble at her ear, teasingly, then murmured "Holeeee shit, don't...do NOT tell me you wanna piece of THAT?!"

Shepard paused for a moment...then snorted, bursting out. "No! No..I mean...thought I recognized her, for a moment...but...I...I didn't."

_"Guess you made it to Omega after all, Tharka."_

Jenny suddenly planted a big kiss on her mouth, eliciting all sorts of whoops and hollers from the Marines at the table. "Good! Because hey...it's time...for more shots!"

Shepard suddenly looked green around the gills, covered up her face with one hand, holding out the other in protest "Oh...Oh God...no...no more...booze. Just...I'm...I'm done. Forever. Done done done."

A particularly attractive Asari stepped up to their corner, removed her robe, laid back on the table itself, and poured some sort of clear liquor with gold flakes shot through it into her navel.

Everyone looked at Shepard expectantly, like kids waiting to see if a snow day was going to be declared, getting them out of school.

"Ohhhhh...what d'fuck" Shepard slurred. "I could always have a few more...in the interest of...in'nersteller... relations". And started to tilt her head down.

It was the best weekend of her entire life. Too bad she couldn't remember most of it.

* * *

**2183 C.E.**

Lt. Commander Shepard…no, scratch that. Newly minted Commander Shepard tilted her head up looking at the ship in the hussle and bussle of the docking bay. The next great chapter of her life. She quickly stepped onto the boarding tunnel that carried her to the SSV Normandy SR-1, a new and totally state-of-the-art "deep scout" frigate. As the airlock doors hissed closed behind her, the two gunnery sergeants standing watch came to attention, saluting, and calling out "Officer on deck!".

Shepard nodded once, pleased with the response, and stated "At ease, soldiers. As you were."

She glanced around, as she slowly walked through to the CiC. The layout and the design was certainly…different. It had been a joint effort between Earth and Palaven, or so she had heard. Still, the different styles and the way they melded appealed to her.

_"Love to have command of a ship like this one, someday…"_

Anderson was approaching her. Captain David Anderson. Captain David Anderson, her new Commanding Officer. Shepard couldn't help but smile internally, although she liked to think that her outright hero worship had mellowed into a healthy level of respect and admiration. He walked down the short ramp from the command platform, from which he could observe a holographic map of the entire galaxy, crossed the distance between them halfway, and looked at her expectantly.

She saluted him. "Commander Holliandra Shepard, Sir, reporting as ordered." She then handed him the data pad that contained the official record. He made a show of glancing over it, although they both knew it was just show, a formality.

He saluted back, and murmured "Well…it would appear everything is as expected. Welcome aboard the Normandy." He then cracked a slight smile. "How're the new Commander stripes suiting you?"

Holly quirked the side of her mouth up. "Nothing too heavy to handle, Sir."

He looked pleased with the response, clapping her softly on the back. "Excellent! You've come at the right time, Commander. The maiden voyage of the newest, and in my personal opinion, the best ship of the fleet. The first real product of Turian and Human cooperation. This..." and he swept an arm out across the chamber " just started out as a glimmer in some diplomats eye, a line-item in the war reparations treaty that the Council brokered. But it's turned into something more, Shepard. This…" and this time he gently tapped the side of one of the bulkheads. "This is a symbol of what we can achieve as a race when we put aside our fear, and our petty mistrust, and reach out to the other races in the Galaxy."

Shepard paused for a few beats, looking around once again. "I want to thank you, Sir. My understanding is that you asked for me personally."

Anderson nodded again "Understand, Commander. This crew…I've hand-picked each member. This ship is…it represents the best of humanity…its skill, its drive, its dedication, even its honor. I needed people who would understand and reflect that. So you, Holliandra Shepard…made for an easy decision, when it came time to pick an Executive Officer.

She swallowed once, and still with a slight, easy smile, said "I won't let you down, Sir."

"By the way, how's Captain Yates?"

"Just fine, Sir. Sends his regards." Douglas Yates had been her previous CO, aboard the Reykjavik, where she served as third officer.

"'Doozer' and I were in the Academy together. Sorry to deprive him of one of his best but...well, he DID owe me one."

Anderson chuckled again, and started to lead her down one of the short corridors, and into the elevator. "Ah, and before I forget...there IS the initiation test you still need to pass, I'm afraid."

Shepard quirked an eyebrow "Captain?"

"Ooooh. Nothing too gruesome. But every time I take on a new XO, I give them a little challenge. You see, Commander…we're headed out to Arcturus for our official launch…Turian VIP that we're going to be picking up..you'll be hearing more about this in the days to come. But I'm going to slow-boat it there. You should have a week until we arrive, and I'm expecting you to coordinate and put on a talent show a day before we do.

"A….talent show."

The elevator stopped at Anderson's destination, and he smiled as he started to depart "I'm expecting great things, Commander."

Shepard called out "You realize as your First Officer, I have to insist that you participate as well. Crew morale, and all that!"

He turned around, walking backwards away from the elevator for a few steps as he smile widened "Oh, you're damn right I'm going to participate. Welcome to the next great chapter in your life, Commander."

And so, in that first week aboard the Normandy, Shepard did what it took to make sure that this was the best talent show the Captain would ever participate in, starting with reviewing footage of the previous ones the Anderson had his old XOs put together, followed by meeting with almost each and every crew member personally, even if just for a moment; she pleaded, inveigled, and even occasionally threatened to get people to sign up.

Despite the initial groaning and cynicism, people seemed to get into it. The pilot, some hot shot kid with a hell of a congenital defect..the one the rest of the crew called Joker. He did a standup routine, bunch of snappy patter. He was surprisingly good. The Nav Officer, Pressley, he did a little bluegrass guitar, and when he found that Shepherd knew how to play the harmonica, he press-ganged her into joining him for a couple of blues numbers.

The CMO, Dr. Chakwas, just sort of rolled her eyes. "Oh yes. This again. This will be my third one of Anderson's little productions. Well, I suppose I have a tradition to uphold, then." She did a rather competent cover of Ella Fitzgeralds "Am I Blue?"...but it was Anderson, with his rendition of Henry's speech to his troops on the eve of battle from Henry V (Act 3, Scene I), that had stolen the show. At least in her estimation.

He had taken the stage last, single spotlight shining upon him, dressed in full ancient Earth armored regalia. Shepard had to give him credit, he really invested himself in the whole production.

He reached out, took a breath, and began:

_Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;_  
_Or close the wall up with our English dead._  
_In peace there's nothing so becomes a man_  
_As modest stillness and humility:_  
_But when the blast of war blows in our ears,_  
_Then imitate the action of the tiger;_  
_Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,_  
_Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;_  
_Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;_

Shepard looked around, curious to see the audience reaction. Not that Shakespeare normally goes over well with a bunch of marine grunts, but soldiers are soldiers, and they respond to any sort of a stirring call to arms by a charismatic leader, no matter the time or place.

_Let it pry through the portage of the head_  
_Like the brass cannon; let the brow oerwhelm it_  
_As fearfully as doth a gallèd rock_  
_Oerhang and jutty his confounded base,_  
_Swilled with the wild and wasteful ocean._  
_Now set the teeth, and stretch the nostril wide,_  
_Hold hard the breath, and bend up every spirit_  
_To his full height! On, on, you noblest English,_  
_Whose blood is fet from fathers of war-proof!—_  
_Fathers that, like so many Alexanders,_  
_Have in these parts from morn till even fought,_  
_And sheathed their swords for lack of argument._  
_Dishonour not your mothers; now attest_  
_That those whom you called fathers did beget you!_  
_Be copy now to men of grosser blood,_  
_And teach them how to war. And you, good yeomen,_  
_Whose limbs were made in England, show us here_  
_The mettle of your pasture; let us swear_  
_That you are worth your breeding—which I doubt not;_  
_For there is none of you so mean and base_  
_That hath not noble lustre in your eyes._

She glanced over at Chawkwas, who was daubing somewhat, at her eyes. Hell, even Jenkins looked like he was getting into it.

_I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,_  
_Straining upon the start. The game's afoot:_  
_Follow your spirit, and upon this charge_  
_Cry 'God for Harry, England, and Saint George!'_

At the end, the Captain received a standing ovation from the crew. Which was good, because Shepard would have felt a little foolish doing it herself. But still...she would have. This was the man she would have gone through hell and back for. What was a little personal embarrassment for his sake, now and then?

Oh God...what she wouldn't give to see him...just one last time.

* * *

Shepard, had a sad, wistful smile on her lips, eyes closed, head bowed. She hadn't realized it, but she had sat here, in the clearing long enough that dawn was beginning to break over the horizon; clear skies and threatening to be a gorgeous day.

She turned her head over her shoulder at the sound of footsteps, and saw Liara approaching, with a calm spring in her step, dressed in a casual blue and white jumpsuit, one she had just bought right before they left the Citadel for the attack on Cronos Station. As the sun rose, it frame itself, right behind her, as if the Asari herself was radiating light.

_"It's..uh…quite a view"_

_"Best seats in the house."_

Liara sat down on the stone bench, sliding in very close to Shepard and allowed her to wrap an arm around her gently. She kissed her bondmates cheek, prompting the other woman to remark

"Liara…how..did you find me out here?"

She canted her head to the right and answered "Oh. I do happen to be the Shadow Broker. Just in case you forgot recently?"

Shepard laughed lightly at that. "Right. That." After a minute of just silently sitting in the shadow of the monument , Liara looked up at it.

"It was a…a lovely ceremony, Holly. I think you would have liked it. Glyph…I had him take a recording of it. I was going to play it for you, in hopes that it might have…woken you up. But I didn't get a chance to play it before..." She smiled radiant, turning to look back at her.

Shepard nodded, looking down for a moment, taking one of Liara's hands into hers, playing with the fingers. "Thank you."

"And it's a wonderful tribute…monument to him."

"It's nice…not sure that he would have been happy with it entirely. Statue is a bit grandiose. Anderson, he could be larger than life…but I don't think he ever did grandiose. Came close...once or twice."

Liara flexed her fingers, giving the tiniest of giggles at it tickled. She then answered "There's an old Asari saying…my mother once told me. 'Funerals are for the living.' I didn't immediately understand it at the time…but I do now. More than ever. People need to remember David Anderson. They want to honor him. Who he was. What…he meant to people. Especially those who followed him in the last months, here on Earth." She reached out, stroking Shepard's cheek.

"There are those who are simply destined to become icons."

Shepard shifted for a moment, uncomfortable with the implication. She had damn well nearly become one as well. She couldn't help but wonder…who would be sitting beneath her statue, if things had gone the other way.

Then she looked over towards her partner, and chided herself for asking such an obvious question.

Shepard asked "So…are you okay...with still being the Shadow Broker?"

Liara hmmmed in the back of her throat "I…honestly don't know. I only took on the mantel because of the vast resources that the position allowed in helping you, and the construction of the Crucible. It's…it's a lot of work. On the other hand…there's still so much I could do with it..so much good. It's a big responsibility. I'd probably have to make a full career out of it, at least for a while. On the other hand, I'm not sure I'd feel right about it. After all, YOU just gave up your own career."

Shepard blinked, suddenly looked up "You heard about that? Already? But I only just filed the official resignation a few hours ago."

Liara grinned, like the cat that had just eaten the canary, and placed a fingertip on Shepard's lips "Remember that time a while back where I mentioned that I happened to be the Shadow Broker? Why, it seems like it was only a minute and 38 seconds ago…"

Shepard laughed at herself, shaking her head slightly "Well, clearly you're just that good at keeping your identity hidden."

They fell into another comfortable silence. And then Liara did the most amazing thing.

She looked straight at Shepard, and asked, in a soft, almost reverent tone:

"Did you ever tell him? How you felt? What he meant...to you?"

Shepard answered, in a near whisper "No. Never."

Liara gathered Shepard's hands in her own once more. "Love...I didn't get to know the Admiral as much as I would have liked. But in the end, when it really mattered...I think he knew."

Shepard had taken it for granted, until that moment, that even though she had never really spoken much about her childhood, about her time in the military with Liara...she had already shared so much of who she was...what she was. After the meld...they understood each other, so well.

Shepard could hear Hackett's voice.

_"I'll expect a ring on that Asari's finger within a month."_

And then it hit her: It was time.

It was time a long while ago, to be honest. But the moment, the right one, that she told herself that she had simply been waiting for was here, whether she was ready or not. There was no other woman in the world, in the galaxy, who understood her as well as the woman sitting next to her, right this second. They had shared so much, been so intimate. How could she have waited so long to do this?

Holliandra reached into the inner pocket of her uniform jacket, her fingers wrapping slowly around a hard, cubical box.

She started to speak, softly, trying to keep from stammering "Liara I…I had always meant to find out..how Asari do this. Had always meant to find out more about your culture in general. I wanted to get it right."

With an increasingly quizzical look on her face, still holding the slight smile, Liara answered

"Well, there was a galactic war on for the very survival of all sentient life. That can be…terribly distracting."

Shepards lips tugged up in amusement.

"I…I only know how to do this my way. I just hope that it's…it's good enough, you know?" And then moving, almost as if in slow motion, she got down onto one knee, the marble tile still chill from the night air, held up the box, and opened it. Inside was a platinum band, crowned by two sapphires flanking a pink diamond. It had taken a decent chunk out of her credit account when she purchased it on the Citadel a few weeks back from a Volus jeweler.…well..that was until Barla Von contacted her, and suddenly declared that the bank had made a "recording keeping error in her favor." and that ring suddenly had a hefty 75% discount applied.

Looking up, her eyes meeting Liara's, Shepard spoke, reverently "Doctor Liara T'soni…will you do me the honor and the privilege…of allowing me to be your wife?"

It occurred to her, a second too late, that she had asked the question somewhat wrong. Then decided no; she had phrased it just right.

Allowing the engagement ring to be slipped on her finger, Liara swallowed, her eyes wet. She reached up, taking Shepard's hands in hers, lifting her gently up to her feet. Running her fingers through the other woman's hair, she said, her voice strong with emotion:

"Commander Holliandra Shepard..since the first time we melded..since that night before Ilos, when I came to you in your cabin...the answer has always been 'Yes'. The question...only had to be asked.

The two embraced, kissing passionately, hearts and lips joined as one, tongues playfully wrestling against each other in the moment. Shepard couldn't help but dip her fiancée back, just a bit. The kiss seemed to go on, forever.

And then she realized she had finally found it, at last.

The vision of a better tomorrow.


	5. W Minus (Its A Trap!)

A/N: Well, this isn't exactly how I thought things would end up :-)

First off, hello even MORE new followers. The last chapter seems to have been received well, and viewership pretty much tripled in one day. So Hugo is a happy Hugo indeed, and you're all to blame for it.

Second, I have run into the problem that all writers eventually do, which is that I am having a lot of trouble being mean to my characters. My father, who writes semi-professionally on occasion, is always exhorting me to throw rocks at them (the characters that is, not other writers), and then chase them up a tree, so to speak. But I just couldn't do that...well okay, that's not true...I could, just at least not quite yet, not when I felt there was still a lot of "fun story" content to be had before taking things down the darker path. Oddly enough, working on this story (which is turning out to be MUCH bigger than I planned for, and thus the reason it's being broken up into two parter) has suddenly gotten my "dark muse" speaking to me a little more...and I have what I feel are some particularly poignant advanced notes I'm working on, and I might release one scene in advance as a short one-shot. Certainly, my trouble was trying to rush and feeling like I need to get from point to point to point very quickly. I'm starting to learn how to relax and enjoy the ride, even if it takes longer than I think it should to get places.

And yes, with that said: If OMUTB was Mass Effect 3, W Minus Parts 1 and 2 would be the Citadel DLC; the comedic, team-coming-together, semi-meta, cutting lose love letter to the franchise as a whole. I will warn you, things get a liiiittle blue (although certainly not outright explicit), some situations will seem a little over-the-top...but that was what started this idea in the first place...the notion of "How the hell do Shepard and Liara think they are getting away with a *small* wedding in the first place?"

Now I need to take a moment and give a metric-ton of propers to fellow author and Liara/Femshep shipper devote'** WordKrush**. If you want to pause for a moment and read her excellent "Mobius Loop" series (which includes the incredibly sweet "Intersecting Lines and Tangents" prequel...I'm really a sucker for teen girl "Shoujo-Ai type stories) before continuing, I'll just wait here...for a few hours. No no, take your time, I'm not going anywhere.

Back? Good, eh? I know, right?

So I asked her to brainstorm with me, a little, on what an Asari traditional wedding might be. I expected some ideas to kick back and forth, and I got the ball rolling with some very basic notions on cultural color scheme and dress design. What I did NOT expect was for her to wallop me right away with an awesome small book on her vision of an Asari wedding ceremony well-researched, thoughtful, and just...very touching, really. Some elements of her ideas pop up superficially in Part 1, but Part 2 will be *heavily* influenced by her vision. These chapters would have been far, far poorer without her Godmotherly touch. So I give her heartfelt thanks. If you plan on writing your own Asari wedding someday, I highly recommend you talk to her first. If anything, it's shown me how nice (and valuable) it is to have such an easy and accessible community of fellow writers who can help each other.

Anyhow, thank you all for your support, folks, especially a shout out to **Theodur**, who writes the still on-going and exceedingly epic "Rhapsody in Blue", and has recently made some nice comments on the story development. I think the two part chapter is coming out...alright for the most part. There are some parts that I just adore, and others that I think..well..I'm not very happy with how the character interactions are coming out. Especially with Joker, I feel like I don't do as well as I could writing Joker dialogue. Probably because I'm not Seth Green, nor do I possess his talents. I'm doing okay with Tali, and I think I am getting Treynor down a bit. I suspect taking time to read more of other peoples writings will probably help me with that. And I can always come back and revise and rewrite things.

So I'm hoping to settle into a "chapter a week or two" pace. I know I've been saying that the whole time, and have been putting out material quicker, but sooner or later, life, and work, and some upcoming vacations are going to come a calling, and I could probably benefit from the slower pacing. But you ever get that way sometimes, when your muse just won't leave you the hell alone until you get words onto a screen at long last?

Oh, and one last thing: The Shepard/Aethyta part got spun off into it's own one-shot story, because I liked it so much, and because I wasn't anticipating getting anything published for a few more days at the time (I only JUST decided to split this into two parts.) As a little bonus, I included a small epilogue that I probably wont put into this series, so if you want to see what happened after they made peace, you can check it out.

Ja nai.

-HgC

Disclaimer: _All Along The Watchtower_ belongs to Bob Dylan (copyright 1968), natch, but c'mon. We all know Hendrix had the best version...You KNOW Shepard listened to Hendrix on occasion...

* * *

**W Minus 0 (Wedding Day)**

Liara looked as stunning as she did nerve-wracked, dressed in a an elaborate, albiet restrictive looking outfit, consisting of a long dress that flowed into a tight looking corset, built-in pauldrons and sleeves, with a cutaway that left her sternum exposed. In essence it was almost an identical copy to what her mother, Matriarch Benezia, wore near the end of her life. Unlike the ostentatious headgear that her Mother wore, Liara had insisted upon a simple, silver diadem adorned with red rubies. It was bad enough she had to wear the dress, but the winged "helmet" was simply too much. It was staggering, thr amount of pressure the Asari Councilor had brought to bear, backed up by the other Matriarchs who lead the various Republics, to take what should have been a small, intimate affair, and turn it into...some sort of grand, overstuffed farce! At some moments, Liara was practically on the edge of tears.

She paced nervously in one of the small rear chambers of the Temple of Athame, as Tali, sitting on one of the overstuffed divans, watched her go back and forth.

"By the Goddess!" Liara suddenly let out, with an exasperated sigh. "Tali, how am I supposed to go out there? Have you seen how many people are in attendance? There are…so…" her eyes widened again, and she ran her hands over her rear-head ridges, scrubbing almost, a nervous habit from childhood that she still occasionally reverted to.

Tali blinked once, although her mask hid the expression for the most part. She cleared her throat, and then replied "Well, that is such a difficult question to answer, Liara. You mean within the temple itself, surrounding the temple…um..within a 10 mile radius? Hold on, I really need to tap into the Thessian observational satellite network…" the omni-tool on her wrist glowed as tapped on a few controls "And there. Oh….Keelah! That…is that all observable from low orbit? And speaking of which, there's also a lot of ships as well. In orbit, that is." She gave a sheepish shrug and said "Hey that's…more people to share the love, right?"

Liara threw her hands up " I…I'm too young for this. I'm barely 107. I'm…I'm a child bride, for Goddess' sake! I...I didn't want to do it THIS way. Not in front of so many people, not with so many...strangers. Not with half of the entire Galaxy watching us!" She suddenly dropped to the couch besides the Quarian and said "Tali. You know I love Holly, right? You believe me when I say that I absolutely adore her, yes?" Her agitation had started to leave biotic sparks trailing in her wake.

Tali gave a nervous laugh and said "Yeeesss. Of course I do. And believe me, she is equally as devoted to you. Annnd…I'm not just saying that because you have the means to crush me into a small but geometrically pleasing cube, either."

Liara looked down at her body, willing herself to calm down enough that the biotic effects lingering around her finally dissipated. She leaned against Tali and murmured. "Then…you understand…that..I'm sure she'd completely be fine if…I asked her to completely cancel this wedding and we can just go somewhere else…somewhere quiet. And get married there? It had always our plan to do this...to do it right...at my Mothers estate in Armali. Right by the ocean..." She hadn't lived at T'Soni-Dalesh, the grand compound her maternal line had held since before the Asari achieved space flight, for at least 10 or 15 years, but it had always held such a special place in her heart. She so wanted to share that, that joy she felt as a child there, with her beloved. And it seemed the stupidity of the very Galaxy itself was keeping that from happening.

Tali took a deep breath, and reached out, squeezing Liara's hand, and said "I know, Liara. Believe me, I wish I knew what else to say, other than...it'll soon be over. This is one of those situations where you have to charge ahead, because retreating will just make an even bigger mess. And when you're out there, you'll do great. I just know it." She then reached over and gave Liara a tight hug, which the Asari gratefully accepted. They had always been friendly, in those days on the Normandy over two years ago...but the last few weeks together, Tali helping her with the details, and taking on the duties of something Shepard had called "The Maid of Honor" had strengthened their friendship in quick order. It made sense when one thought about it: Both were young and precocious, both had issues with infamous parents, both had daunting responsibility thrust upon them at an early age. It would have been surprising for them not to form an eventual bond.

Aethyta walked in through the door...her neutral expression breaking out into a soft, heartfelt smile as she looked at Liara. "There's my Magic Sparkle Princess..." Liara's eyes widened at the ridiculous sounding nickname that her Father had produced, seemingly out of the blue. Still, she rose from the couch, turning to give Tali a soft smile of thanks.

"It's...a long story. Ask Shepard sometime." Aethyta explained, and then sighed, taking Liara's arms in her hands. "I'm...look at you. My baby girl. You look so beautiful, kid. Nezzy, she...she'd have been so proud. And look, I know this isn't what you had in mind, but think about it this way: It's all over by the crying. You go out there, you go through with this...and then maybe they'll finally give you some peace and quiet. And you can have the read wedding you were dreaming about."

Liara stared at her Father for a good few seconds. "Do you honestly believe that?"

Aethyta smiled and shook her head "Not for a second. But I believe the wedding part. And I believe that Shepard loves you madly, and is just as eager to get this varren and pyjak show over with as you are. No matter what happens today, don't let it color the rest of your relationship with her, going forward. She's a good kid, and you were made for each other. Do NOT, however, tell her that I told you that. Don't need her thinking I've gone soft." Tali burst out into light laughter at this.

Liara gave Aethyta a tight hug, and then nodded and sighed, biting down on her bottom lip "I…I suppose you're right. And I'm very glad that you're here now...Dad. I just wish…Holly was here right now. Just to hold me...and we could talk each other into eloping. Or not. I still don't understand why she was so insistent about us not being together from the end of the day yesterday until the wedding ceremony. Not being able to even talk to each other on communicators. Do you think I did something to upset her?"

Tali held up a finger "Ah…that has something to do with an old human wedding custom, I think? Something about terrible curses and tragedy befalling the couple if they saw each other on their wedding day before the ceremony began, possibly resulting in one or both of the couple being dragged down to the underworld, to forever be kept apart

Aethyta frowned for a moment, and made a slight growling noise in the back of her throat as she considered the explanation. "Wow. That is really fucked up. I think I'm starting to get what's wrong with humans, now."

Liara joined in "That sounds…that sounds absolutely awful!"

Tali again looked sheepish "I ah..I will admit that I may have…misinterpreted some of it. The translation was...sketchy at best."

* * *

**W Minus 70**

_"There must be some kind of way out of here,"_  
_Said the joker to the thief,_  
_"There's too much confusion,_  
_I can't get no relief."_

Hendrix was playing from the speakers from one of the main media panels, in the South Beach condo that was providing temporary lodgings for Liara and Shepard. Shepard wasn't the biggest fan of classical ancient North American ballads, but she had set the music feed to random selection, and had to admit that this was a pretty good one. Liara herself was out on the deck, soaking up the sun, now that Winter had begun to fade to Spring, and both of them were planning to head out to the beach later after lunch.

It was…odd…being so idle, only a few months after the end of the War. Shepard wanted to be out there, doing something, being useful…but the Reapers seemed to be undertaking an incredible job with the reconstruction efforts. And that was the biggest problem. It was almost…overwhelming, to see those…things…out and about, working. It set her teeth on edge, and worse. After all this time, locked in a struggle to the death with them, she couldn't stand to see them out on the horizon in London. It enraged her. She reasoned that others were willing to accept the situation because for much of the Galaxy, they hadn't fought as long (and in some cases, as hard) as she had against the threat. But all she wanted to do was pick up a rocket launcher and fire on them, whenever she had to see the damn things.

South Beach, Florida was a natural choice, in that it was warm and tropical, which greatly reminded Liara of her homeworld, and it had suffered far less structural damage than many other places on the planet; Reaper rebuilding activity was confined further north in the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale region, which Shepard tried to stay away from during the day. Night time, however, when they couldn't so easily be seen against the dark sky, she and Liara had gone dancing, bar hopping…any number of activities that couples who are young, engaged, and terribly in love would do. Joy was quickly returning to people's lives, despite the devastation barely 6 months previous.

Shepard was strapped into a pair of contra-gravity boots, which used mass effect fields to keep her suspended upside down in the air, in the middle of the living room, currently working through a set of inverted crunches. Though she had effectively retired from the military, she was still used to keeping up with her intense physical regimen. After all, it had taken her YEARS to get the six-pack she currently sported, and she didn't feel like losing it anytime soon.

The comm terminal began to beep. Shepard reached up to disengage the buckles, slipping out and landing on her feet with a slight flip, and then dashing over to the terminal, managing to catch the call in time before the VI kicked in and took a message. She smiled as Admiral Hackett's face filled the screen.

"Shepard. I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time."

Grabbing a towel and starting to pat the sweat off her body, she answered "Admiral Hackett! Not at all, just finishing up my morning exercise. You know what they say, all the muscle turns to fat if you let it. Now…what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Oh, you know…I was just checking in, seeing how you and your bride-to-be were doing. Everything settled in over in Florida?"

Shepard nodded "Yup. Thanks for your help in securing this place by the way, it's gorgeous." It wasn't quite as sizable as Anderson's apartment…well..she guessed it was truly her apartment now, on the Citadel, but it was a close second.

Hackett nodded "My pleasure, Shepard. You've certainly earned a break. Ahh…well, I…uh…should admit, this wasn't just a social call."

Shepard knitted her brow slightly, wondering. Uh oh…

Hackett noted the expression "Oh no, no…nothing that's any sort of a real problem, so don't start to worry. But…we need to talk about your wedding preparations. There are a lot of…issues that need to be addressed leading up to it."

Shepard was silent for a few seconds, trying to figure out where this was going "I…didn't think my wedding to Liara was a matter of intersystem importance, Admiral."

"Shepard, I know you and Liara had your hearts set on a smaller and more intimate affair on Thessia, and believe me, I'm sure that's STILL going to happen….eventually. But the ah…the Council has been giving the matter no small amount of discussion. You see, this has to potential to really start cementing some deep ties between our two worlds; not that relations between Earth and Thessia are anything but cordial right now, but…they could always be a lot more. The Asari Councilor and I have been in top level discussion about the matter almost non-stop in the past few days."

Shepard was really starting to dislike where this seemed to be going. She had heard that Hackett had been made the Interim Citadel Councilor for Earth, much to his chagrin. She stepped off screen for a moment to get a bottle of water, and then just murmured "Ummm hmmm?" while she chugged.

"Look Shepard, you know me; I'm no good with the diplomacy crap, so I'm going to lay it out right on the line. The reformed Systems Alliance Parliament and the Thessian Alliance of Republics are seeing this, and I suspect rightly so, as a momentous, symbolic, historic occasion. Think of it, The Terran Hero of the Galaxy, our planets greatest, and most well-known citizen at present, marrying the almost equally well regarded daughter of the Matriarch and former Asari Councilor…it would seem Benezia's infamy did not rub off on her daughter. I suspect the Asari are I hoping to use the daughter to...wash out the sins of the mother, in people's minds.

Shepard REALLY didn't like the sound of this, now.

"So…it has been decided by both sides that this wedding ceremony needs to be given all of the highest accords an honors possible, as an interplanetary State-level event."

Shepard almost did a spit-take "I'm sorry. Wait a second. DECIDED? By whom? The politicians? Since when do they get a say in what happens with our wedding?"

"Since you and Liara, the most prominent and popular citizens of your respective races, decided to get married. Shepard, look…this is what they invented the term "Fairy tale wedding" for. I mean really, what did you both think would happen? This is sweeping through all the news networks. This is getting people talking in a BIG way. While neither of you wield executive power, people…people are treating this like how the ancient kingdoms on Earth would, when a wedding would cement a formal alliance between two nations."

The Admiral continued "Now, you and I both know that this is…pointless. But all the politicians, they are jumping onto this like flies on shit…sorry…that was a horrible metaphor in your case, but still. It's like this has taken a life of its own. Suddenly, trade treaties, mutual defense pacts and technology sharing agreements seem to be closer than ever before, after being stalled for ages. Like it or not, your wedding has become a symbol of a new age of Asari-Human closeness. And if there isn't an appropriately…elaborate symbolic ceremony to go with it…well…a LOT of important things could fall through, at a time where we need to ensure that the relationships binding the various races of the Galaxy…alliances YOU were largely responsible for…don't all go to hell now that we don't have the Reapers as a common enemy anymore.

Shepard just stared blankly at the display for almost a good 10 seconds before finally speaking. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Do I look like I'm joking at present, Shepard?"

"Admiral, you are killing me. Literally killing me."

"Shepard…"

"Seriously, I think my vital signs are slipping awayyyyyy"

"Shepard…!"

"Nope, now I'm dead. Again! BEEP BEEP BEEP EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and Shepard walked out of sight of the communications terminal, continuing to sound like a flat lining EKG monitor.

"Holly! Damnit, come back here! Don't you walk away from me…"

Shepard drifted back into view of the terminal, letting the high pitched noise die in her throat. "C'mon Steve. Please, this is…this is insane! We've earned the right to some peace, quiet, and privacy. Am I really supposed to believe that the fate of relations between our two planets are THAT dependent on our putting on some sort of….I don't know…crazy dog and pony show?"

Hackett sighed, "Shepard, look. I agree with you, I'M on YOUR side with this…but at the same time, I'm getting push back from politicians and bureaucrats from BOTH races, with their own agendas, and ideas, and petty egos. I know you didn't sign up for this, but too bad cause neither did I! This is one of those situations where life really just isn't fair."

Shepard scrubbed at her face with both hands. "Okay…okay…so…what is the full upshot of all of this?"

"As we speak, there are two teams of diplomats hammering out every detail, from the china patterns to the actual location on Thessia for the wedding, to the wording of the vows, to the date. The Parliament has decided to concede that they aren't going to win the fight to have it either on Earth, or on a third, neutral location. But that just means they are extracting out that many more concessions with regards to detail and planning. And I know you both had planned on a smaller, more traditional Asari wedding…but apparently, political weddings for cementing alliances are done with in much more ostentatious and elaborate ritual in Asari culture…which suits the politicians on Earth just fine, you know how much they love to strut and show off."

Shepard slumped in her chair. This was like the beginning of some farcical nightmare. She could only just imagine the political sausage making going on behind closed doors…about HER wedding. LIARA'S wedding.

Elopement was sounding better and better.

Speaking softly, Shepard asked "If there are any other details that are going to make me blow a gasket, we should just get them out of the way right now."

"Knew you were going to say that. Yes, well…Liara is being invested with much of her Mothers old titles and honors…they are essentially making her an honorary Councilor for the purposes of the union. And you…well…we've been instructed by the Joint Chiefs to formally request that you return to active duty, where you will be promoted to the rank of "Grand Admiral". Which is something new, that they've just made up, to be one step above Fleet Admiral." He shook his head disdainfully for a moment, and then held up a finger, as if to preemptively silence any protest from Shepard "And before you ask, Shepard, no…you can't get out of this. The Joint Chiefs are prepared to activate the extraordinary circumstances clause in your military contract if they have to, to bring you back in for this."

Shepard blinked "Admiral…am I…are you drafting me!?"

Hackett sighed heavily "Not unless you force me to, Holly."

Gently letting her head fall forward, banging on the desk, Shepard rested for a few seconds, before muttering "I don't have to do anything…Admiral-y, right?"

"Shepard….no offense, but I would consider it a personal favor if you just stayed the hell away from any official decision making at this time. So…no."

She lifted her head back up. "Liara's not going to like this."

"No shit, but…you'll talk her into it. I know you. And look, again…I'm on your side on this. I don't like it either. But look at it this way…this is one last battle. One last victory lap, one last triumph you need to make. You make it sound like this is some sort of unbearable torment, but in the end, this is really in the name of one of the greatest coups in interstellar relations since Mankind managed to barge its way onto a Council seat after barely having just mastered space flight. And it's going to uplift a lot of spirits that have been crushed throughout this war. Just grin and bear it…and I promise you afterwards, you and Liara can have your wedding..your REAL wedding, however you like. Hell, I'll even put the Fifth Fleet at your disposal to keep the paparazzi out."

Shepard figured Hackett was just kidding about the last part…then again. "Alright. I'm going to hold you to that. And..really..please…try to keep the guest count to the lowest number you can get away with? That's all..that's all I would ask."

Hackett nodded "Alright, that's…a fair thing to ask. I promise. 2500 people at most. Maybe 5000, but no more than 5000, I'm sure of it."

Shepard just stared dumbly at the screen as Hackett continued "By the way, I'm assigning the Normandy back under your command in the meantime, if just to keep some modicum of appearances up. Traynor has been assigned as your personal Event Coordinator for your…involvement in planning the formal, public wedding."

"So..wow…Samantha is going to be the wedding planner? You mean for what little input Liara and I actually have, that is?"

"Something like that."

Shepard winced, turned away for a moment from the screen and murmured "Oh God. Oh God, this is exactly how the gypsies swore the curse would unfold."

"Say again? I didn't catch that, Shepard."

She shook her head "Nothing…nothing Admiral. I…understand. Well, no, I don't, but I understand enough that when you say I need to take one for the team, that I need to take one for the team. That you wouldn't be asking something like that of me lightly."

Hackett finally smiled again "Glad you're coming around…Admiral. 4 to 6 weeks. That's all we need from you both, I'm certain, and then it's all over. And um…I'm afraid we're going to have to move you to a more secure compound now, until you can depart on the Normandy. Given the present situation. A transport will be over in an hour to pick you both up"

Shepard trembled slightly, with the effort to keep from screaming out at this point.

"Hackett out."

Picking up a rather hard paperweight, and throwing it across the room with a loud THUMP.

"SONOFABITCH!"

Shepard then slumped in her chair. This…just seemed all so terribly surreal. Shepard raged internally again. DAMNIT! This was NOT what she wanted. Not for her, and more importantly NOT what she wanted for LIARA. To have their sacred, heartfelt expression of their desire to be together for the rest of their lives (Okay, the rest of her life, at least) reduced to some sort of elaborate diplomatic event. Oh God…and she wanted everything to be so perfect for the woman she was so devoted to. Part of her did feel guilty though. If their union could be some sort of...inspiring event to a shattered galaxy trying to crawl back up from the pit of near-destruction...then yes. Hackett had a point; she did OWE it to them. And it was petty of her to not go through with this, otherwise.

Liara suddenly walked in, clad in nothing but a tiny black bikini. "Holly? Is everything alright? I thought I heard a loud noise in here?"

Smiling weakly, Shepard beckoned her fiancée over, pulling her down into her lap, and started kissing her neck.

Liara smiled 'Well, I like how this is starting…." She then paused "Oh. Oh wait a second. Are you softening me up for something?"

Shepard looked sheepish, and heavily sided. She looked up, stroking Liara's back, and started to explain "Well. You see. It's like this…I just got a call from Admiral Hackett…"

Two minutes later, a bellowing "WHAT?!" could be heard from halfway down the block.

* * *

**W Minus 45**

Garrus had to admit, even though it was all rather insane, it was nice to have the crew back together on the Normandy, even if it was a bit of a "fluff" mission. The idea was that the ship would simply be a mobile base of operations while Shepard and Liara put together what few preparations they were allowed for the "show" wedding, so to speak. Not that he needed the encouragement in any way, shape or form, but the Turian Hierarchy practically demanded his involvement. Everyone was going crazy with this wedding, it had taken on an odd life of it's own.

Garrus was in the gun compartment, where he did his best thinking, tapping at a few notes he was making, and placing some calls as he was putting plans together. And that...was when Joker suddenly strode in.

"Garrus! Buddy! Hey. How is the Galaxy's most badass Turian doing today, huh?" She limped over, and patted him on the shoulder, as hard as he dare...which truth be told, wasn't all that hard.

Garrus murmured, a touch bemusedly "I don't know, Joker. When I see him, I'll ask. And the answer is no."

"No? What...what are you talking about? I just...I just came down to see how my buddy...my pal was doing. You know? Because we've been through so much together. Death and all that. And that sort of thing forges an unbreakable and eternal bond between two people! So if I did ask you about something, it wouldn't be unreasonable at all, not for two brothers-in-arms. Right?"

"The answer is still no, to whatever it is you are going to ask...but I think I have a pretty reasonable idea of what."

Joker dropped the pretense quickly, "Alright, alright. Look. I just...I heard Shepard made you like, her Best Man, and that means you're going to plan the Bachelor Party! Or...is that Bachelorette? Uh..anyhow, it doesn't matter! Because it's going to be mind-blowingly amazing! And I just thought, you know, you being a Turian, you could use a little human cultural perspective on this. Really, I'm doing you a FAVOR. Because you're my compadre!"

Garrus sighed heavily "Yes, I know. My fire-forged brother-in-arms, apparently Jeff, this must be something you want very badly, I can't say that I've seen you quite this...obsequious, before."

Putting his hands together in mock pleading prayer, he shook them lightly in Garrus' direction "Please, Garrus! You gotta let me help you plan this. This is Admiral Shepard we're talking about. Do you know the kind of reputation she's had in the past as a party girl? I mean, God, her 25th birthday on Omega is legendary! At least...the way Lieutenant Spakenopolis tells it. You know her? She's essentially the pilot of the _Mandela_ so, you know, sometimes we swap stories and tips over the extranet. But seriously, Garrus...this is Shepard's last hurrah! Her last great blowout to go all out crazy before she finally packs it in and settles for...ah..I mean down with, Liara. You know. With the whole marriage. That "Dream with in a dream" crap...

Garrus rubbed at the bridge of his nose in frustration for a moment "You know, Joker, this is one of those things, one of many, I should point out, that I don't get about you humans. Your attitude on marriage...I find it rather appalling sometimes. It seems like there is this expectation that it's a shackling institution, that it deprives people of joy. When nothing could be further from the truth. I happen to know Shepard is disgustingly in love with Liara, and wants their wedding day to be this...how do I say it without sounding over-the-top? Joyous celebration of their amazing love for each other? On Palaven, there are still more than a few arranged marriages, which are rather staid, business-like proceedings, but when two of my kind get together to marry simply for love...it's a beautiful ceremony Very intimate, just the couple, the officiator, and perhaps a very small handful of family members. Because it's a symbol of a rare and beautiful thing, two people who WANT to come together to share their lives, who actually GET that chance to do so. I mean, I am hardly speaking with authority here...but."

He shrugged for a moment, and then continued "Take this "Bachelor Party" tradition. Your cultural media is filled with countless examples of one of the couple, almost invariably the male of the species for some reason, going off and imbibing massive amounts of alcohol, and nearly derailing the wedding because everyone wants him to have a last minute...coupling...before he finally gets married. And that's another thing, this slavish devotion to monogamy that you still cling to. See, now not every society is like that. I happen to know, for instance, than many Asari marriages have a..shall we say, understanding between the partners. Seems to me that if you are really in love with each other, and have confidence in it, then allowing your physical desires to take you elsewhere on occasion, as long as both parties are okay with it..." he shrugged again. "I mean, it's not my particular...what's that expression...cup of tea? Anyhow, it's amazing to think of all the cultural insanity you are still dealing with as a race...two hundred years ago, when you were all just beginning to shoot chemical rockets up into the air, you forced your females to be as second class citizens, you oppressed people based on their racial genotypes, and don't even get me started with your attitudes on same sex relationships up to about the last 50 years or so." He shook his head "It's amazing how advanced and yet how backwards humans can be."

Jeff had an exceedingly sheepish look "I..uh...sorry...man. I guess I didn't know how strongly you felt about it. I suppose under that metallic exterior beats the heart of a warrior poet, huh?"

"Something like that, I guess. I AM about more than simply calibrating things, you know. Anyhow, thank you, but I don't need your help. I cut right to the chase, and asked Shepard exactly WHAT sort of things SHE wanted to do. And she made it very clear that her "party girl days" as you called them, are behind her. And just so you know, Ashley's been invited to come along as well." He cleared his throat for a moment, and then picked up a data-pad he had previously been working on "I've got it all figured out at this point. We'll start off with a few skirmishes at the Arena on Silversun Strip..."

Joker rolled his eyes "Oh, yeah, THAT'S going to be a riot for me..."

"Don't worry Jeff, we'll hit up the arcade and the casino as well. I'm sure there'll be something there for you to all show all of us up at..." he couldn't help but smirk a little bit at that. "And then we're going to eat. There's a new restaurant that serves something called 'Kanas City-style Bar-B-Que' which Shepard tells me she's quite partial to. And I think that'll work out well for me too, because this particular restaurant also make something called "Turian Soul Food". I have no idea what that means, but if I don't have to pack my own dinner, then so much the better. And then...and this part should probably make you happy...we're going to go to the Purgatory bar for drinks and dancing."

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Joker made yet another attempt "Okay. Garrus. Please...pleeeeease. I'm begging you. Just...give me the last part. Just let me do SOMETHING for the Admiral. It will be...AWESOME! But...but nice! I can do nice. Awesome-Nice. I promise. Just...I don't have any other way of putting my mark on this. Pitching in and all, you know?" He looked almost...sincere about it.

Garrus looked over to him...thought it over for a few beats, and then nodded "Alright. I suppose if you want to do something special at the end of the night, I'll let you call the shots. But nothing that gets us arrested by C-Sec, or that causes Shepard and Liara to call the marriage off." He paused for a moment. "Although I'm flexible about the getting arrested part."

Smiling and giving a double-thumbs up, Joker started to head out the door, chuckling "Alright! That's more like it. Thanks Garrus, I promise, this is going to be great! You won't regret it!"

The doors closed behind him, leaving Garrus alone with his thoughts once more. He called out softly "I already do."

* * *

**W Minus 55**

The leather bag around Shepard's head was unfastened, quick and rough, and she was finally able to see her predicament, not to mention breathe a whole lot better. Finding herself suspended upside down (which she obviously sensed before she could see), with her hands securely bound behind her back, in what appeared to be a dark secluded corner of a warehouse. Indeed, if Shepard didn't know better, between the warmth and the architecture, she'd swear she was on Illium. At the very least, it was safe to guess it was some sort of Asari-friendly world, given the two fierce-looking Commandos standing watch over her. Eclipse members, judging by the markings on their outfits.

Stepping out from behind a stack of crates was Liara's "Father", Matriarch Aethyta. However, she was out of her usual bar tending outfit, and dressed in her own form fitting utility combat leathers, although they lacked any markings. She approached Holly, boot heels clicking as the distance was closed.

"Admiral Shepard."

"Well, actually, it's just...oh." She paused "Well, technically yes, I guess I'm an Admiral again for the moment. Also: Matriarch Aethyta."

Aethyta tapped her lips with her fingertip in contemplation as she assessed her potential future Daughter-in-law. "I must say, Shepard, you see quite at ease at the moment, all things considered. It was almost as if you were expecting this."

Shepard looked back and forth for a moment, then shrugged, or as close to an approximation as her current bondage allowed for. "Well, once I figured out that it was a couple of Asari who managed to knock me out and drag me here, there was a pretty short list of possibilities." She then turned to the two Commandos "By the way, considering how much lock and key I was under at the time, very nice work." then turning back to Aethyta "So yeah, while I will admit this isn't exactly the format I was expecting this conversation to happen in, I did expect this conversation to happen, period.

The Matriarch tilted her head "Oh?"

Shepard rolled her eyes "Oh please, Aethyta. You aren't the first Father to have "The Talk" with me, about my intentions towards Daddy's Magic Sparkle Princess. But...I can guarantee you that you're the last one.

Aethyta quirked a brow, looking somewhat...impressed. She then nodded once "Good answer, Shepard. A good start.." She started to pace back and forth a bit, like a lioness stalking its prey. "We'll then let's have that talk: What ARE your intentions toward my baby daughter?

Shepard's expression softened, her tone of voice grew more respectful "Aethyta...I don't know how else to make you understand how much I dearly love your daughter. I think in my way...I loved her from the moment I met her. I just didn't realize how deep my feelings were until...later...that first merging we had. It was really...special. For both of us. I appreciate the magnitude of it." Seeing as it had been Liaras first time and all. Shepard found she was particularly uncomfortable talking with Aethyta about essentially devirginizing her daughter. "What more do you want me to say? What more do you want me to do? Talk is cheap...if this is part of some sort of Asari ritual to determine how far I'm willing to go...my suitability...then bring it. Because I am more than ready to run the race, to take the plunge...whatever you have...throw it at me,"

Pulling out a small data pad from her side pocket, Aethyta nodded "Oh yeah. We definitely have a gauntlet for you to run, kiddo. Starting with your...shall we say colorful back history of philandering, "Scorpia"?

Shepard blanched. "Aww shit.". Scorpia was her call sign out on the field, before she made it into Command ranks. She had earned the title from her amazing sniper accuracy on the field, but there was also the ditty about how "once a girl's felt Scorpia's sting...". It was true, she had been a female Lothario for her first few years in the service...that was a long time ago. Still...time to chew it raw and swallow, right here right now.

"Now, starting with a Lieutenant Velma Swinton".

"Oh come oooon," Shepard groaned. "I was 17, she wasn't much older and a Staff Sergeant at the time. I was still a minor for crying out loud! We were roommates, we grew close, we had a little "friends with benefits" action. It was a very sweet, temporal thing. She still sends me a Christmas card every year. We're more like sisters than anything else."

"Uh huh. A sister. That you were fucking."

"Well...yeah, sure, it sounds bad when you say it like THAT." Shepard sighed for a moment, then had a quizzical look on her face "Wait a second...how the hell did you find out about me and her? NO ONE knew."

With a Cheshire grin, Aethyta confessed "I didn't, not really. Had my suspicions though. You just did the rest of my work for me."

Shepherd just stared hard at the older Asari for a few seconds, and then gave an incredulous "Ohhooooho.. You are good."

"Yes, Admiral, I'm VERY good at what I do. I've had a thousand years to do it. Next up: Katherine Kates."

"Kitty Kat Kates? Look...it was a very sweet puppy dog romance thing we had going through boot camp. But then we got assigned different postings. And that was that. It was hardly a serious for real thing...I'm sure she feels the same way, wherever she is.

Aethyta narrowed her eyes, and continued to read off the list "Amanda Bates."

Shepard frowned "Amanda was going through this...I don't know...curiosity slash uncertainty phase in her life? And I was the experimental fling. Really, in the end, *I* was the victim, when you think about it."

"Yes, poor, poor you." Aethyta tutted. "Noooooow...and I've been saving this one...the Kusayanagi girls".

Shepard's eyes widened, and she frowned, getting a bit more animated, actually struggling for a moment against her bonds, starting to swing back and forth a bit, suspended as she was.. Raising her voice, she started to respond peevishly "Okay, no. No! You are _not_ seriously about to give me shit over the Kusayangi sisters...really?!"

"Way I hear it, you were dating one of them, and catting around with the other two."

"NOOOO! That is absolutely NOT how it went down. God, I thought you say you were supposed to be GOOD at your job." She scowled, although it was not without some amusement behind it.

Tilting her head slightly, Aethyta mused, crossing her arms "Oh yeah, kid? Well, enlighten me."

"Gladly! Okay...so here's the first thing, the most important thing to remember: Asian twins? Are hot. But triplets? That's like twins, only multiplying it by...uhh...150%? Yes...150%, easily. That much extra hotness. So there I am, freshly assigned to the SSV _Roentgen_ and these three identical triplets, all comm officers, well, they start giggling and flirting with me. Like, shamelessly. And so I'm like "Yeah, that's cool, but I can't date one without the other two getting jealous right? I mean, no matter how bad you think I am, I DID have some amount of honor about these things."

"...Go on..."

"So first shore leave on Illium, I'm minding my own business, having a drink at the bar, and out of the blue _all three_ of them box me into a dark corner. And they're all wearing these matching...well..I don't know what the hell they're called. Except they're very tight, cut very short, and look like those old sailor suits, back when the only ships Earth had were sea vessels."

"Fuku."

Both Shepard and Aethyta swiftly turned their heads, glancing over towards the youngest of the two other Asari Commandos. The elder of the pair just sort of shook her head, and rested a palm over her face.

Blinking, the youngest commando continued "What? That's what they're called. Fuku."

Aethyta just blinked for a few moments, and then asked in a somewhat exasperated tone "And how the hell would you even know that, Cosira?"

Grinning like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, and giggling slightly, Cosira responded "Because...um... well...Shepard totally has a point? The Asian sub-genotype of the Human race? They can be very attractive."

Shepard nodded emphatically. "Yes! Thank you. You...Cosira, right? YOU are totally getting invited to the wedding." Cosira couldn't help but get a rather girlish, gleeful expression, which quickly melted under her superior's glare.

Shepard looked back to Aethyta "See, SHE gets it. So I have three incredibly gorgeous Japanese women dressed up in hardly anything, and practically begging me to get into a relationship with ALL THREE of them at once. What was I supposed to say? No?! Do you really think I could do that? Could YOU? I had NO choice. Seriously, if I had turned that down, the Valkyries from Lesbian Valhalla would have immediately descended from the heavens to revoke my membership card."

Aethyta rubbed her chin for a moment, frowning at first, then looking...slightly impressed. She didn't quite understand the references that Shepard was making, but had been around the block long enough to fill in the blanks on her own. "Alright kid, I'm...intrigued. So what went wrong?"

Rolling her eyes heavily, Shepard answered "Oh God...oh...GOD.. You know how like...you're a kid, and you really like chocolate? And then someone just up and GIVES you a room full of chocolate, out of the blue, and you think it's the best thing in the entire world. And so you start going to town on it, but after while...well..you run into problems, and you realize maybe you're getting sick of eating so much chocolate all the time. Except instead of the room, imagine three sexy Japanese sisters, and instead of chocolate..."

Tilting her face down into her hand, Aethyta growled slightly "Goddess, yes. I...get...the point."

"Yeah. So Aiko and Yuriko started to get jealous and get catty with each other. As the oldest sister,by about three minutes, Ichiko decided it was her duty to put a stop to this. Of course, her solution was to start completely monopolizing me, and pushing her sisters to the curb."

"Shepard..." Aethyta said with dismay in her voice "You realize we're not even halfway down the list yet? Right?"

"Not my fault! I mean believe me, I was never so happy to be sent to a combat zone in my life! They'd still be getting into cat fights over me if I hadn't gotten shipped off to Torfan to provide specialized support..."

"Ok, ok. Fuck! Point made. But next we have Carmelita Ortiz."

"Oh."

"Ooooh, Shepard?"

Shepard closed her eyes for a moment and looked very sheepish. "...The Admiral's daughter. Yeahhhh, alright...you have me to dead to rights. I was a total asshole in that case. I concede whatever point you want to make on that."

Pacing once again, and starting to sigh with exasperation, Aethyta mumbled "Okay...look, I'm just going to...skip through the...list...here..." and she continued to scroll through for about 15 seconds before finally getting to the next name. "Gennifer Spakenopolis."

Shepard rolled her eyes once more "Oh Christ! Jenny Sparks? Yeah, let me tell you something, Jenny Sparks only WISHES she had had a relationship with me. The thing with her is that she was completely straight-laced, by the book, no fun at all...but you get some booze into her, and she got EXTREMELY bi. My 25th birthday weekend, she got all cuddly and kissy with me, and we made out a couple of times on Omega, but I never actually brought her to bed. Believe me of the 5...maybe 6...certainly no more than 8 at the VERY most... women who I woke up in bed with that weekend, Jenny Sparks was NOT one of them. I'm...at LEAST 75% certain of that."

Suddenly Shepard frowned, and wiggled again, causing her to sway slightly "Okay, look Aethyta, I'm not going to excuse the fact that yeah, I was a real heart-breaker once upon a time. But as soon as they make me a Lieutenant Commander, I told myself, right after my birthday "Okay. You're in command now. You need to set better examples for those under you. We had a lot of fun, but it's time to start cleaning up the act, and behaving with more...decorum. You can't look at this record you've compiled on me, and tell me that I wasn't true to my word after that moment."

Taking a sharp, long breath through her nose, the Matriarch scrunched up her lips, and then sighed "Alright, alright. Yes...you have me there. It does seem like you zipped those legs of yours shut right around that time. No record of any real relationships at all, until..."

"Until I met your daughter." Shepard said softly. "Look...again... if there's some sort of test you want me to undertake, if you have some sort of Asari dragon out there to slay...I'll do it. Because this is the woman I love, have loved above all others. And you know what? Right now, I don't even fucking care if I have your blessing or not, because I *AM* marrying her, one way or the other but..." she sighed heavily "I think she really cares for you...I think having her in your life really is good for her. I want her to be happy. So I really would LIKE your blessing, if that's at all possible." ."

Aethyta held her pose for a while, and then finally turned to the pair. "Alright...let her down." Cosira unbound Shepard's arms, while the other one (Whom Shepard would later find out was named Pallana) unceremoniously undid the rope suspending her upside down, allowing her to crumble onto the floor. She picked herself up and rubbing her arms and wrists, stepped up to meet the Matriarch eye to eye.

"There's one last thing I need to know, Shepard...one last thing I just...can't...quite get around yet. The two years."

Shepard looked confused for a moment...then it dawned on her. "Right. Two years."

"What happened, Shepard? Why didn't you go running back to her right there and then?"

With a pained expression on her face, Shepard looked away for a moment. Still not meeting Aethyta's gaze, she replied "Because I was going to die, Aethyta. At least, I was absolutely convinced at the time we weren't coming back through the Omega relay. God knows I did every possible thing I could, played every card available, pulled every string...and we still lost good people." She closed her eyes for a moment, the image of Jack's twisted corpse in the wreckage after the battle with the Human-Reaper; Shepard's ultimately failure to fully redeem the troubled young woman had burned in her, in the way that Akuze did, in the way that Kelly Chamber's death, which she blamed herself for, did as well.

Shepard continued "She spent two years mourning...I know that's not very long to you, but it was a fresh wound for her still. I could see it. And when I finally saw her again at Illium...I think we were both trying to protect the other. I didn't...I didn't want to do that to her again, Aethyta. How could I have? At the time, I thought it best to keep her safe...from me. From the pain that losing me once again was going to bring. Even after the two of us ran riot, and I helped her become the Shadow Broker...don't you think that all I wanted to do was throw myself into her arms, and tell her, beg her, to take me back, and that I still wanted her as mine?"

Despite herself, and her best attempts Aethyta's stony countenance began to soften, understanding and sympathy beginning to show through the cracks. Still, she murmured "But you came back from Omega."

"Yeah. I came back from Omega. And three days after I cut ties with Cerberus, Hackett contacted me, and asked me to look into a situation for him. What eventually became the Alpha Relay incident. I promised him, after all those...after all those people died, that I was going to come straight home and pay the piper. I wasn't about to try and renew anything with Liara with that going on. I didn't see her again until after the Reapers attacked Earth, and I rescued her from Mars. And that...that's when I knew, Aethyta. The war had started...and we were ALL going to either die, or live. That's when I realized I needed her back in my life, come what may. It was just a matter of...letting her open back up...letting her let me know it was okay for me to come back in."

Aethyta nodded once. "Alright kid. You have it. My blessing, that is. The test...oh...that comes every day. Every day, you keep my little girl happy. Because Shepard...if you ever hurt her, I promise you...Hero of the Galaxy or not...the next time I string you up, it'll be over a thresher maw pit." At this last part, Aethyta put her face very close to the other woman's.

Shepard narrowed her eyes dangerously. After Akuze, that sort of remark stung deeply. She said, in a hard voice. "That's not funny, Aethyta."

The other woman smiled unkindly "It wasn't meant to be funny at all. So we understand each other now?"

"Clear as crystal."

"Good!" Aethyta suddenly threw an arm around Shepard and crushed her against her side, leading her off "C'mon kid, there's a bar nearby...we'll have a few drinks, we'll talk...you can tell me more about these Kusayangi girls.

* * *

**W Minus 45**

Shepard never thought she would see the day when the war room on the Normandy, the nerve center that gathered massive amounts of intel, up-to-the-moment updates on combat situations and war preparedness from all corners of the known Galaxy, would be converted over to the sole purpose of coordinating the increasingly complex logistics of seating arrangements for her wedding. But it was definitely being put through it's paces. Hackett's promises of "no more than 5000" quickly fell apart as more and more groups, governments, corporations, and mercenary organizations pulled various strings, called in fists full of promises, all to get a view of the marriage itself. All so that they could say that they had an invite, that they were there when it happened.

At least all she had to worry about were the little things. Like the fact that Jeff had shuffled off towards the Gun Compartment a few minutes ago, according to EDI. She was tempted to warn Garrus about it, as she had a pretty good idea what he was going to ask about...but naaaah. Let him find out on his own.

"You know, I was reading a report the other day; it seems that over 33% of the Volus industrial manufacturing base has been quick-retrofitted for the sole purpose of producing the various merchandising that is springing forth from the wedding. Plates, collectors holograms, Liara and Shepard dolls, action wedding playsets, commemorative assault and sniper rifles, medallions, coins...I even heard a rumor that Fornax is going to get a Human and Asari Shepard and Liara look-a-likes to do a "Wedding Special" issue next month...it's almost as if this one event is going to reboot the Galactic economy back from it's war footing.

Shepard covered her eyes and sighed heavily "Tali...I...don't need to HEAR that right now. Although Samantha, be sure to reserve at least 10 copies of that Fornax issue when it hits the stands. But I have enough pressure on my shoulders as it is. And so does poor Liara." The ship was currently on it's way to meet her on Thessia, and Shepard was now desperately missing her. Liara had gone ahead to secure the use of her ancestral family compound for the wedding. The REAL wedding, not the...the show wedding. THAT was going to happen at the newly rebuilt Temple of Athame.

Talia couldn't help but continue "And has anyone thought about the possible biological ramifications of all this? What if this turns into millions...even billions of individuals suddenly showing up on Thessia, all at once? The suddenly demand on water and food resources the... diseases suddenly released into the environment. Keelah Se'Lai, remind me to TRIPLE check the filters and seals on my suit.

Traynor had been kept busy at all hours, trying to coordinate and revise seating arrangements, supplies, route and prioritize messages; if anything, it seemed she was busier now than she ever had been at any time during the War. She never thought she'd long for the old days when the Reapers were a constant menace in order to get a break.

"There!" she said, exasperatedly "I THINK I've managed to balance the latest seating charts in a fashion that will prevent the worst of the possible wars, corporate stock crashes, gang clashes and inter-species genocide from breaking out. At least until the NEXT hour." She turned to Shepard and said "And I AM looking very forward to the second wedding, Admiral. I've seen pictures of the grounds around T'Soni-Dalesh, and the house itself. Or should I say PALACE. You know, it's funny, it's almost like we keep forgetting that Liara's mother was one of the most powerful and influential Asari at the time." She then clammed up a bit, at Shepard's rather darkening expression. She hadn't been there at the time, but had heard stories; that Shepard had been the one to "put down" the Matriarch in the end, as she was once again succumbing to the influence of Reaper Indoctrination. And Liara, who had been on the away team, had watched it happen. In a private moment, Shepard once admitted to Samantha that the guilt of that had kept her from being the one to pursue a relationship with Liara; that it had been the reason with the Asari Doctor had to be the one to make the first move, to reassure her that she didn't blame the then-Commander for what happened in the end.

Traynor sighed softly "Still...it's so romantic. The whole fairy tale aspect of it. All the adoration, the people cheering." She glances over at Shepard, who was rolling her eyes slightly. "Although...it can't compare with a truly traditional Asari wedding, like what you'll be doing afterwards, Admiral."

Shepard snorted for a moment, but then cracked a smile "Nice attempt at a save there."

"No, but really! Have you ever seen one before?" Tali and Shepard both shook their heads in response. "Oh it's...it's just lovely. Absolutely lovely. I once managed to get my hands on a copy of _Vaenia _when I was younger. And one of the scenes, where two of the secondary characters are getting married at long last. Oh...they had on these very flimsy bikini/sarong combinations as wedding dresses. Lots and lots of flowers just...strewn everywhere. And everyone wearing them. Like leis, you know? And it was best to hold it during Janiris, which is the Spring season on Thessia, the beginning of their New Year...which makes a lot more sense than how we do it, if you ask me. And then there is this...well...you have to see it, to truly understand, but where all the Asari join in, assuming that the community approves of the union, and what not, in a circle, and form this massive biotic shield-bubble, to represent the union. In the movie, it's just...huge. It encompassed everyone and..." she actually began to dab at her eyes a bit, and blushed "I think that was when I finally realized I was gay, the first time I saw that movie when I was 15. God, I put myself and Sally DaFoe in that scene for weeks, in my head. Anyhow, I've hardly begun to scratch the surface. When I get...ah..I mean if I ever...that is. Well...I'd want it done like an Asari. If I ever got married that is."

Shepard couldn't help but smile at Traynor and reached out to squeeze her hand "Thank you...Samantha. It...hearing that, seeing it through your eyes like that...I think it gives me the strength to carry through this...symbolic, Galactic put-on we're stuck doing, until we finally get to the real deal. And...you should see MY bikini dress. I look pretty damn good in it, even if I do say so myself. It belonged to Aethyta's Mother apparently which...um...I hope I don't have to check it for traps." Despite the half-joke, Shepard had been touched, and a little bit stunned at the gesture her prickly soon to be Father-in-Law had made. Although they did seem to have a moment there, on Illium...

"Oh! And then the feast at the...well their version of the reception, I guess. Primarily seafood, which Thessia is just FAMOUS for. Oh..Oh god...I hope the...the Reapers haven't damaged the ocean too badly! That would be...just tragic."

Shepard blinked for a moment, staring at Traynor for a good few seconds before asking "Wait a second. Seafood?"

"Uh...yes."

"It's a planet populated by nothing but women, and when they get married, they eat mostly seafood at the wedding?"

"Yes...Admiral? Don't tell me you're allergic?"

Shepard clamped her mouth closed, and tried to keep from laughing...it was a battle she was quickly losing "What...what kind of seafood, Traynor?"

Samantha looked very confused at what was going on. Tali more so. She had no idea what the Admiral was finding so amusing, but still, she responded "Oh! All sorts. Fish, shellfish, mollusks...they have something very similar to calamari there, and OOH..I could just eat that by the plateful..."

"And sushi, Traynor?"

"Oh yes, certainly, the Asari have their own form of raw fish, wrapped in seaweed, and a grain that is not unentirely like rice, I believe."

"Suuuuushi...Traynor?" Shepard drew out, with a huge grin on her face, still trying to hold on whatever gleeful laughter was threatening to burst out.

"I...I really have no idea what you're going on abOH my God! Admiral!" She couldn't help it at that point, and had hit at Shepard's side in a somewhat chiding way, with a scandalized look on her face.

Tali looked back and forth between the two and simply stated "I don't get it."

Shepard tried to keep from laughing and said "Oh COME ON, Samantha. You have to admit that's funny!"

Crossing her arms, and frowning slightly at first, Traynor sighed, and started to chuckle, just a little, despite herself. "Yes, I suppose so, in a crude, in-the-trenches humor sort of way."

Shepard almost completely lost it at that point, clapping her hands over her mouth yet again to keep from bursting out into hysterical laughter, the effort causing her to slightly fall off her chair. She pointed at Traynor, who then raised her voice again "Oh! Come on, Shepard! What are you, 12?!" She gave a suddenly nasal laugh though, shaking her head and covering her face with one hand.

"I...I still don't get it. Any of it." Tali said. "Would someone PLEASE explain it to me?"

Shepard worked to get a hold of herself, catching her breath and just said "Oh...it's just...it's just lesbian humor, Tali. That's all."

Tali tilted her head and replied "So? What, because I'm not a lesbian, you can't explain it to me?"

Shepard nodded for a moment, her shoulders jutting up, as if to concede that Tali had a point. She then turned to the communications officer. "Traynor..."

Samantha held up her hands, and shook her head "No. Oh no no no."

"Trayyyyynor."

"No! I would literally DIE if you made me have to explain it."

"Tray. Nor. I'll be nice. You can whisper it to her."

Sighing with disgust, Traynor bit her lip and rolled her eyes heavily "Fiiine. Admiral" She then beckoned Tali over, and started to whisper towards the nearest aural-pickup unit in her suit helmet. Very soft murmuring for about a minute or so, until Tali suddenly spun around and addressed Holly, loudly exclaiming "Keelah se'lai! Shepard! That's...I don't even have the words! I think I'm starting to understand what's wrong with you Humans sometimes! Oh...except you, Traynor."

Shepard seemed completely unphased by the twin disapproving stares leveled at her. She simply smirked, and started to head out of the room. "If you ladies will excuse me, I do believe it's time for my daily call with Liara." She then rubbed her hands together, and left the war room, murmuring to herself "Mmmm...seafood."

Talia turned to Traynor, and said "You know, I have a horrible feeling the pressure of all this is starting to cause her to crack up."


	6. Interlude: Thessia

A/N: Hmmm..I do believe I'm going to need to start releasing material in much smaller, more frequent snippets. It seems to be the rhythm I'm falling into. Plus you people are giving me far too many good ideas to work with. You have at least two years to stop doing that. :-)

So a few things: I started up a forum thread to discuss the issues of Asari marriages, and **Full-Paragon** rather astutely pointed out that there probably wasn't one monolithic tradition for marriages in the Asari culture, just as there isn't on Earth. So there's a point in the chapter that pays a little nod to that. And also, thanks not only to him, but to everyone who has been participating on that thread so far.

This chapter is, in the second half certainly, a big metafictive riff on my favorite scene in the Citadel DLC, where Shepard and Garrus are play-pretending their first date. I remember seeing this, going a little squee, and then seeing Femshep and Liara together and thinking "WTF? Wait a sec. Garrus and Femshep get crazy sexy cool flirtatious date roleplay and tango-ing, and all we see from Femshep and Liara is a brief story about a fucking piano lesson? REALLY? Boo hiss unfair.

The story that that Liara and Shepard start to make up together is essentially a huge and shameless callback to** WordKrush**'s work, so I hope she forgives me for that. Plus, it also borrows a little from the time I actually did my grad school work in Ann Arbor.

So I may or may not get one more chapter in this week before I have to take a break while I'm out of town on long weekend.

VERSION LIST: 4-16-13: Made a slight change to the comment Liara makes about her family, based on a continuing conversation **Theodur **and I are having about the subject.

-HgC

* * *

When the Normandy finally made its way down onto one of the smaller private spaceports on Thessia (and this one in and of itself was little more than a large clearing in the jungle, surrounded by pre-fab buildings) Liara was there, waiting, eager with anticipation. She practically skipped up to Shepard as she walked down the gangplank, and leaped into her arms. Shepard was more than happy to oblige, catching her deftly, and pulling her into a kiss as they spun around. She smiled against Liara's mouth, and then murmured "Well…now…SOMEONE'S in a good mood. Hell, by your standards, you're practically wired."

Liara laughed and pressed her forehead against Holly's for a moment, and then wrapped an arm around her side and fell into stride with her and the rest of the crew as they disembarked. While the pair was happy to join everyone for a welcoming lunch (or breakfast, as it was for the Normandy as they adjusted to the time change), Shepard made it clear to everyone else that they needed to find something else to do for a few hours, while she and Liara had some alone time.

The two walked hand in hand, down a cleared path through the tropical forest. Liara smiled excitedly and murmured, as the path began to give way to the beginnings of a beach "I can't wait for you to see it, love."

T'Soni-Dalesh, the ancestral estate of Liara's matrilineal line, emerged suddenly into view. To say it was palatial was…alright, yes. Actually that was a fairly accurate comparison. It was of the classic sweeping, curving lines and spires architecture that one often associated with the Thessian capital city, what modern architectural students on Earth often referred to as "Googie with some god-damn respectability." The building itself was composed of a larger, white, domelike structure with a tall central spire, flanked at all four directions by smaller, very similar structures. It sat alone, on a green bed of beach scrub grass, with something of a natural rock clifface forming a bit of a shield wall encompassing the entire estate. The ocean was barely a third of a mile away, lapping calmly onto pure white sands, small trees that were vaguely reminiscent of palms (only they had a tendency to shimmer iridescently) dotting the way here and there.

Shepard paused for a moment, to take it all in appropriately. She couldn't help but whistle low. "Wow. Just…you own this?" She turned to face Liara fully "On purpose?"

Liara smiled, playing gently with the fingers of Shepard's hand "Well, it was my Mother's, and she WAS a Matriarch Archon of our home Republic, even before joining the Citadel Council. You weren't exactly expecting her to live like a pauper, were you?" Holly shook her head for a moment and looked back out. "Well…I can see why you and she maybe…had issues. It's…staggering, but…it doesn't feel like you. Not as a permanent dwelling."

Liara nodded slowly "That was one of…many reasons. But…don't get me wrong. Sometimes, we would live at T'Soni-Dalesh for years. Some of my best memories were being here, roaming through the corridors, swimming in the ocean. Some of the most amazing sunsets I have ever witnessed in my life have been here. And at night...the oceans glow bright blue as they wash up into the beach...we have a bio-luminescent plankton here, and the agitation causes them to emit light...and perfectly safe to swim in. It's…truly a magical place.

She then paused for a moment "As to ownership, no, I don't 'own' it per se. Not solely. You see, my Mother's will specifically stipulated that it was to be held in "joint custody" among my half-sisters and I.

Shepard had felt foolish for a moment…it had never occurred to her that Benezia would of course probably have other children over the centuries she had been alive. She asked, quietly "So…how many then?"

Liara took a deep breath for a moment, as she recounted in her head. "Oh…I believe there are about 14 who are still alive, excluding myself. There are a small handful of the group I've never even actually met. One or two of my sisters are currently contesting the issue of ownership, and another 3 or 4 probably couldn't care less about any of this, but still… I suspect that we will be forced to come up with some sort of…sharing agreement. Property disbursements after death are usually exceedingly straightforward in most of the Asari Republics; they often have to be. It's quite unusual for my Mother to have done this, but I suspect she did in order for us to have to come together and work this out on our own. Also, understand, it was also quite unusual for my Mother to have had so many daughters, for an Asari to have had that many children. Although of that number, she is only the Father to some, thus their legal claim on the estate is...weak at best. But still...Benezia never lacked for willing partners...though I fear that with so many children produced over the centuries it impacted her ability to...bond...with many of...us.

Shepard pulled Liara into a gentle hug, cradling her for a moment, and leaning in to give her forehead a kiss. After a minute, she then twitched her pursed lips together in thought "I'm going to guess that legal drama won't be a problem, at least through our wedding?"

Liara shook her head and smiled lightly"The Asari Citadel Councilor herself saw to that issue. And…we'll have it for at least the next month for our…what did you call it…"

"Honeymoon" Shepard said with a lascivious smile. "And good. Nice to see that we're not the only people who have to suffer getting stuffed into little boxes from the politicians." She then smiled as the breeze whipping off the ocean caressed her face and blew through her ever-growing hair; Liara had extracted a promise that now that she was no longer in the Systems Alliance Military (in any permanently meaningful way)she was going to grow it out for her. Shepard had to admit she missed it's current length, which was the longest it had been since before making Lieutenant Commander. Although she probably couldn't get away with dying the bangs, as had been her trademark, back in those days.

The two started to hike the way towards the complex which, due to it's size, was actually much further away than it seemed. Looking around further, Shepard commented "I can see why this is such a perfect place for a traditional Asari wedding."

Liara canted her head for a moment and said "That…is a bit of a misnomer. What most beings outside of the Asari consider "traditional" is simply the rituals and customs that are most closely associated with the Armali Republic. It's the one most popularized in Asari media. There are other traditions, other rituals that are unique to the other Republics on Thessia as well. Still…I am rather partial to our traditions, of course."

Shepard nodded. It made sense. After all, her own vision of a "traditional human wedding" was largely based on her North American/European culture upbringing.

Liara guided her by the hand, heading towards a small cabana by the beach itself. "I want to have a little more private time before we go inside the compound itself. I'm sure we'll be accosted by the various staff, and I'd like to not have to make a million decisions right this second. I make enough as it is as the Broker." She brought them both to something that looked like an oversized lounge chair, suitable for a couple to lay out and cuddle up on. Shepard tracked down an umbrella and planted it in firmly into the ground, providing shade; sadly, she almost never tanned. It was the curse of her heritage.

The sat that way for a while, arms wrapped around each other, as they looked out over the ocean. Cuddling turned into occasional kissing, with promise of more…but they were both in no hurry to do anything more than simply enjoy each others company. It was easily the most relaxed Shepard had felt…possibly in her entire life.

She grinned mischievously out as she watched the water rhythmically swell and ebb, the gentle continuous breeze shaking the umbrella just a bit, when Liara spoke.

"I believe I'm supposed to offer up a small amount of human currency in order for your to tell me what's on your mind?"

Shepard snorted bemusedly "Penny for my thoughts. And nothing deep. I was thinking we should go skinny dipping shortly. But…I need some sort of sunscreen lotion before I even DARE to think about getting out of my clothes. You don't want me cooked to a crisp for our wedding day.

Liara laughed and kissed Shepard's nose. "No. I suppose not. I'm sure we can find something appropriate, and biologically compatible for you in the back of the cabana itself.

"And you? You looked pretty lost in your thoughts as well, Bluebird."

"Oh…it's…nothing. Really. You'll find it rather silly."

"Yeah, probably, but you shouldn't let that stop you."

Liara gave Shepard a playful shove and then said "Alright, fine. I was just wondering…more about what you were like as a child. I mean…right before you joined the military I guess. I bet it would have been fascinating to meet you back then.

Shepard rolled her eyes slightly, shaking her head "I….don't know about that. I was a different person. I'm not sure I would have wanted you to see me. I did things I'm really not proud of, back then. Earth was a place to escape from, not a place to grow up in. At least for me. And wouldn't you have been in your late 80's or something? Early 90's?"

"Well yes, but in many ways, it's a similar time, in social development for Asari, compared to a humans late teenage years. If I understand it correctly. And it's not a direct comparison of course. It's not like I aged that much slower, per se. And as for what you did; You did it to survive. And I refuse to believe that your basic, innate nature would have changed so much. I'm sure that deep down it all, you were still the good, honest woman I feel in love with."

Shepard tucked up her legs for a moment, turning around to face Liara more fully, on her side. "Oh yeah? Alright, sure, I'll play a little Let's Pretend. So let's say you do end up on Earth. Why would you be there in the first place?"

"Oh, that's the easy part. My Mother. Back then, I was still with my Mother, traveling, but not for much longer. It was close to about the time we cut ties. I think she was still hoping to mold me, to be a bit…more like her. I think she always believed my archaeology studies were simply a curious phase I would somehow quickly grow out of. So…let's say that she's on Earth to meet with some human officials. Trade negotiations, treaties...the sorts of things a Matriarch and a Councilor would be involved in."

Shepard shrugged "Okay…I'll grant you that…but it's not going to be anywhere near goddamn Detroit."

"Alright…well. Let's say I had to get some supplies. For an expedition I was preparing for. I could go into this…Detroit to get some, yes?"

Shepard snorted "Sweetie, Detroit was like Omega without the wealth or the genteel, innocent charm. So…no."

Liara playfully hit her once again "Alright then. Where should we have met? Remember, this is destiny we're talking about."

Shepard thought about it, for a good minute, before responding "Ann Arbor. Sometimes, if I had the spare money, or if I felt like ripping off some of the richer college kids, I'd head down into there. The problem was that I tended to stick out like a sore thumb, so I didn't do it often. Had to keep to the shadows and alleys, try and keep my head real low. But it's a big, academic city, so yeah, anything you wanted for some sort of expedition, I bet you they would have had."

"Alright. So this... 'Ann Arbor'. I'm there getting my supplies at some sort of shop there. And then how would we meet?"

"Some college jocks are giving you crap. Because, you know, you're Asari, and they've…ah…'heard things'. You try to order your stuff as quickly as possible and get out, but one or two of them are still following you along, whistling and catcalling. And you make a wrong turn and end up in an alley.

"Goddess, Holly! I do not like how this is going."

"Well, it has to, because I'm hiding out in one of those alleys. And I see this going on. And I'm torn, do I just look the other way, and keep to myself, or do I go and try and help out, this gorgeous and enchanting Asari girl, the first Asari I've ever seen in my life, that I suddenly have developed a fascination with that I myself don't fully understand."

Liara laughed "Clearly you're far too cynical and…or…old, to appreciate young love."

Shepard shrugged "Never really had young love. Lots of young sex. Actually, works better that way. The cynical, tough, streetwise woman-child who wants to know what love is. Okay, so I just beat the crap out of these idiot fratboys, because I'm a total bitch who fights dirty. I probably took one or two of their wallets to teach them a lesson."

"Oh, I would have definitely made some sort of comment about that. Nothing…supportive. Maybe even some sort of "By the Goddess, I had no idea you people could be such savages!"

"And then I would have tried to defend myself, something like 'Yeah well, Blue, too bad. Life on the streets is tough. They had to pay the piper. I'm here to chew gum and kick ass, and when you grab the horns, you get the bull! And sweep the leg, Johnny!" and oh my God, you're right. I've totally forgotten what kids actually sound like when they speak.

"I have to admit, this is rather...enjoyably fun. So go on, what would we have done next."

"Well, hold on, hold on. I'm assuming this isn't just some sort of one-way, unrequited fascination, right? That I was stirring up feelings and desires you yourself didn't understand either, yeah." She winked playfully, and held up her hands as Liara, for a third time, went to try and bat at her. "Alright…yes. Of course. Silly me. I would..I don't know. We could get hot dogs. Maybe if they had a lot of money in their wallets, I would take you to the nice deli on the North end of town. Zingerman's, I think the place was called. It's been there forever. But…eh. Lets go with hot dogs. Easier that way."

"I would probably, knowing myself back at that age, remark that I had no intention of eating canine meat, no matter what temperature it was served at."

Shepard grinned wryly, zooming her face close to Liara's and stealing a very quick kiss. "You would. That would so totally be you. And I guess we'd talk a bit. I'd try not to tell you too much about myself though. Because I would be…ashamed." She paused for a moment, blinking "Yeah. I think I would be. I usually didn't give a damn about that, what people thought of me, but I think I would have wanted to find a way to impress you. I'm not sure if I would have outright lied but…probably would have tried to make myself sound more impressive than I really was."

"I would have seen right through it. And I doubt I would have cared." And then, with a girlish, almost gleeful expression,she asked "So tell me about your hair. What was it like back then?"

"Much longer, and somewhat stringy."

"Oh! Then I would definitely would have insisted that you let me brush it, or something."

"Yeah, uh..look. I was lucky if I showered once a week. I would not have smelled particularly good, and my hair would have been greasy. I hate to burst your bubble with the cruel spike of reality. And can I just say that you really seem to have a hair fetish? Not...complaining...AT ALL, though." To be honest, Shepard had found she absolutely adored having her hair brushed and attended to, as Liara was so fond of doing these days.

"Yes, and so many of you humans seem to have an Asari fetish. So does that not make us equal?"

"Touche'. Still, I'm telling you, my hair was just...awful, back then."

But Liara would not be deterred, reaching over with one of her legs to stroke Shepard's, as she reached up to start toying with her hair "I wouldn't care. If anything, I would somehow be…even more intrigued.". She couldn't help but pout a little bit, as if hoping Shepard would have gotten into this new game a bit more.

Shepard gave her something of a "bullshit!" expression, laughing at that. "Yeah…I uh…well…maybe I'd run off into one of the dorm rooms, or better yet, a sorority house, pretend to be a student, long enough to get a shower. I would have walked right into one of those open dorm rooms and stolen someone's hairbrush or comb and some bodywash and shampoo. Maybe even a towel and some clothes. I would have totally been shameless that way. But the shampoo, it would be something nice, like…I don't know. Strawberry, or coconut, or rosemary-mint. And you could have combed my hair in the student lounge and told me how great it felt now, and how nice I smelled.

Liara brightened "There! That's more the spirit now."

"And they would eventually chase us out, and we'd have to go running halfway across town to get away. And then. I don't know. I impress you by rescuing a kitten from a tree. Or something like that."

"You realize that I could easily rescue this hypothetical feline with my biotics, of course?"

"Yeah…right but…but you see…you wouldn't! Because you would want me to be all gallant and showy for you."

Liara pursed her lips for a moment, smirking "I suppose I probably would have."

"But then our perfect day would come to an end. You'd have to go back with your Mother."

"I'd run off, because I couldn't stand to see you sad, as I left."

"I'd run after you, because I couldn't stand to see you sad, either, and I needed to tell you what you meant to me. We'd kiss. Of course. I guess in that kind of cute and girly way that teens who weren't normally me probably did."

Liara punctuated that point with a very soft brushing of her lips against Shepard's. The other woman gave a bit of a shiver and murmured "That's good teen-girl kissing…."

"I suppose I would have said something rather…emotional, and heartfelt, like…'I'll look for you in the stars'."

"Nu-uh! No way! No, that's MY line."

Liara straightened up, giving Shepard a mock-glowering look "Oh? Now how would you have explained that?"

Sitting up on the lounger, Shepard began to tick the reasons off on her fingers "Well first off, it sounds like the sort of semi-romantic thing I'd try to say when I was 16 or 17 if I suddenly found puppy love like that. Second off, it fits my story development better. I mean, how much more poignant does it make my whole backstory of "Street rat seeks to join the military in order to make a better life for herself and get off Earth"? Suddenly it's "She joined the military, not only to make a better life, but also in some desperate hope that it would provide her the means to one day be reunited with that magical mystery Asari who entered her life."

Sitting up herself, Liara shook her head slightly, "You would have forgotten, somehow. Or at least...life would have ultimately intervened still. I know what you were like back in your early days, Holliandra Shepard." She then softened a bit "Sorry about Dad, by the way. I'm sure he had only the best of intentions.".

Shepard paused for a moment, at the sudden lurch "Ahhh…yeeeeeah. We're going to talk about that….later." She shrugged "But yes. Sadly. Something probably would happen, the military life would have been far more demanding than one would imagine. I would be afraid. Nervous. Scared that I somehow wasn't the person you thought I was anymore. I'd drown myself in all these meaningless relationships and booze, trying to find that one perfect 'Liara replacement'. But then Therum would happen, and I'd hear your name mentioned, and I would be "Oh…could it be? At long last? And then my heart would pound. Plus. I'd probably start getting very tingly between the legs, as well."

"And then you'd come to my rescue like a...what is that phrase you use...a white knight? And take me away." Liara smiles very warmly at that thought. "What would you have told the others?"

"Oh…nothing probably. I wouldn't have said anything about knowing you, previous to our rescuing you. It was my own little secret, I didn't want to share. I'd be difficult and catty about it. Knowing Ashley, she would have given me a lot of shit, all "Ehhhhhhhhnn, how we can trust her? She's probably all evil and stuff, and I'm also just saying that because this is the phase in my life where I'm still kind of xenophobic and bitchy about it."" Shepard made sort of a nasal mocking impression of Ashley as she said this. "And I would have been like "Hey…hey Ash? You know what? Fuck you. Liara is awesome, and cool, and sexy, and most definitely NOT evil. And I'm going to pick her up and carry her to my room now, and then lock the door for two whole days, so unless you feel like starting up some crazy three-way girly action, you just stay out. And then, I would do this."

Shepard suddenly stood up, grabbed Liara, and threw her over her shoulder, eliciting a squeal from the other woman. Spinning around slightly, and occasionally stroking her backside, Shepard carried her into the cabana, little more than a secluded shack, and closed the door behind them, locking it. Shifting Liara into her arms, bridal carry style, she murmured softly "And then I would, once again, be the happiest woman in the galaxy. And now is the point where I say something like "In all the different universes out there, all the infinite possibilities, I'm glad I live in one where you and I are together. I can't imagine how it could be any different."

"And then I would say that I love you." Liara replied, very softly, almost shyly.

"And then I would say that I love you, too."

Their lips met, very slowly, as they sank down onto the hard, surface of the floor, embracing each other tightly as they did.

Skinny dipping would happen still…just much later in the day…


	7. The Best Man

A/N: Hmmm..I have mixed feelings as to how this chapter came out. I didn't like it so much at first...it "sounded" better in my head than when I put it down on paper..but it's slowly growing on me. Still..probably could have used a little more polish in the end, but I can always come back to that later...someday.

Honestly, I also worry sometimes if I am getting too "fan service-y", especially to myself. My original plan was to get into the "drama" rather soon, right after the proposal scene. But I think I'm having too much fun, with all the sweet, comedic smutty fun right now...and I should probably get it all out of my system right now, before we get into some...darkness. I'm actually worried about going from comedy to drama a little too quickly, but we'll see how it goes.

Oh, and I'm going to be out of town between Thursday and Monday. So..I may actually end up having to take that one or two week hiatus I keep threatening to and have yet to so far.

As usual, your reviews, comments, critiques, and suggestions are the butter to my nummymuffin (You'll understand in a few minutes.)

Version List: **4-18-13: **Several people, most notably **Sun-Tsu Toriden** thought that Traynor needed to have a much nicer end to her evening. I was inclined to agree. Your wish is granted, long live Jambi. :-)

-HgC

* * *

**W minus 10**

Wrex belched, loudly and unabashedly, having just downed the contents of an entire pitcher of Salarian beer. He then laughed boisterously, shoving a few more ribs into his mouth, and mumbling around the food "Shepard! I think I'm starting to see what's so good about you Humans! Running around shooting guns at each other, and then eating a metric ton of meat and drinking booze. THIS! THIS is how a TRUE Krogan celebrates an upcoming wedding!" He swallowed hard for a moment, and then further remarked "Actually, it's also how a Krogan mourns the passing of an honored comrade. Or marks a successful mating. Or when a clan member passes their initiation..."

Grunt chuckled in a gravelly tone, next to him "Or when a Krogan acquires a particularly nice shotgun." before downing one of his own pitchers. Wrex clapped him on the shoulder and bellowed "The acquisition of a new weapon is DEFINITELY a cause for celebration!" He then glanced over to a passing human waitress "Hey, sweetie. Can you bring about 8 more of these" he indicated to the beer pitcher in his hand "for me and the kid here? Oh….and I guess the rest of you guys probably want something more too?"

The "Guys" as it were, Grunt, Wrex, Ashley, Joker, Garrus, and James (although Javik, Cortez and a few others had standing invites, and suggested they might join the group later on in the evening) were all seated at a long metal picnic style table at the Colonel Pickens™ Kansas City Style BBQ and Turian Soul Food Honky Tonk Emporium, with a veritable feast of BBQ sides spread out before them, as well as large slabs of ribs, chicken and pulled pork. A plastic tablecloth had prevented and otherwise terrible mess from permanently disfiguring the table underneath. Somewhere in the background, an reproduction Wurlitzer jukebox played something vaguely resembling honky-tonk music.

Table chat had been limited, most of the crew otherwise engaged in stuffing their faces after a couple hour session in the Arena on Silversun Strip. Shepard, however, seemed rather quiet and introspective, something Garrus couldn't help but notice, and eventually leaned in to ask. "Shepard…couldn't help notice the long face. Don't tell me you were that intimidated by my legendary prowess?" Truth be told, he and Holly had been rather evenly matched…and while he would never admit it publicly, he wasn't so full of himself that he didn't know who the better of the two snipers were. At least in the Arena. Still, she didn't seem quite like herself.

Reaching out to reassuringly pat Garrus on the arm….then reaching for a fistful of wet-naps to wipe BBQ sauce off the shoulder of his armor that she had left there, she nodded. "Yeah…I'm fine, really…it's juuuust…." She sighed softly, and then looked him in the eyes. "I don't mean to piss on your parade Garrus, because this has really been pretty damn terrific. You know I'm always in the mood for indiscriminate violence in a fun and family friendly environment, and large plates of animal protein make me a happy gal, but…" she started to laugh very softly at herself, shaking her head somewhat sadly "I really miss Liara right now. And I kind of wish she was here with us."

Rubbing his chin for a moment, Garrus remarked "I don't think the food would exactly be to her liking."

Cracking a soft smile, Shepard shook her head "No shit. But…I just…I kind of wish we had maybe we had opened it up for the whole…gang. Including and especially her."

Garrus hmmmmed "But I thought this was what you wanted? A traditional Earth Bachelor-slash-Bachelorette Party…one last huzzah with "the guys". And also Ashley.

Ashley overhearing, shot back "Hey! I can be 'a guy' just as much as anyone else. But Admiral, I gotta back Garrus up on this. You seemed so gung ho on sticking to Earth traditions. Well…some Earth traditions."

Shepard shrugged slightly "Ashley…I never thought I would say this…but I'm starting to have second doubts about how great "Earth tradition." is. And I mean, it's not even "Earth" tradition, not like for the whole planet, just from the continent you and I happen to come from, you know? I'm kind of realizing right now that I went along with this because that was what was the expectation was, what society expected. Now I'm realizing….Oh God, am I victim of gender role stereotypes and expectations?"

Ashley snorted, bemusedly "Well…to be honest, Shepard, you are kinda…uh…kinda the "guy" in your relationship."

Rolling her eyes with supreme disgust, the Admiral point a rib in Ashley's direction "See! That's what I'm talking about. Why am I the "guy"? Just because I'm more of an aggressive tomboy, and Liara isn't?"

Ashley gave Shepard an "Are you really having this discussion NOW?" sort of look and murmured around her rib "Well, you DID just use the word 'TomBOY'"

"Ahhch! See…this…this is what I'm talking about. What if I was getting married to say…oh…I don't know. Aria." Heads turned all towards Shepard now "Just hypothetically! Let's say I was..who's the 'guy' in that relationship?"

James blinked for a moment, then grinned "Well…you, obviously, Lola. Although I'd NEVER call you a man." Ashley then nudged him hard in the ribs, prompting a "Hey hey, chica. I KNOW you're not a man either." Ashley glowered a bit at James, but still couldn't resist giving him a kiss, both of their mouths stained as they were with BBQ sauce.

Shepard slumped her "This is serious, guys. I'm going to live on Thessia…with an Asari. It's just…I hate to say it, but it really IS starting to make me question some basic assumptions we have about sex and gender, and what we're sort of pre-programmed to do. Take the military for instance. It was barely 70 years ago when the last major military on Earth stopped being fully sex-segregated in terms of front line combat. We have this equality…but are all we doing is just fitting ourselves as women into a male shaped box?"

Ashley sighed softly, reaching out to take Shepard's greasy hand with her own. "Holly…sweetie. I love you, really, but here is what I think: You're mostly missing your woman, and you're guilty that she's not here on a…." she sighed heavily "Guys night out. Lets call it the 'Aggressive Warriors Shindig' or something. So enjoy yourself tonight, and have a nice long talk with her on the comms tomorrow? And if you still feel this way afterwards we'll..I don't know…we'll get together and go take up arms against the Male-centered Patriarchal Manocracy or something." She tried not to laugh at the last part, and failed miserably.

"Forget it, forget it, forget I said anything…" She took a large, sullen bite out of her rib, and then mumbled, mouth full "Prolly righ' doh, Ash. Na sur' politaku scienf" she swallowed the food hard, clearing her mouth "is really my thing, anyhow. I guess I'm mostly just….well..it wasn't anything I really ever thought about before" She capped this off with a long, hard pull from her cup of beer.

Joker finished up his own cup of beer and shook his head "Ahh…our little girl's growing up so quickly. Sunrise, sunset..."

Shepard waved her now picked clean rib bone menacingly at the assembled party, "Yeah yeah, fuck you all. I try to discuss my feelings for once, and you all shoot me down. Hell Ash, if anything YOU'RE the guy now"she said smirkingly.

Quirking her brows up, and grinning, Ashley commented "Oh please, Shepard. You only WISH you looked as good as me in an evening dress. But I guess we could always arm-wrestle to see who's the most delicate flower of female fragility, or something."

Shepard glanced around at the food for a moment, shoveled a sporkful of beans into her mouth, chewed and then said "Sure. Yeah, after they clear the table, you're on, Williams." Hoots and hollars went up, as Joker attempted to interject "Might I suggest a more respectable method? Like, ohh…I don't know…bikini hot oil wrestling?"

Ashley and Shepard looked at each other in the eye, knowingly, smiled, turned their heads as one, and looked at Jeff "Fuck you, Joker." He still smirked shamelessly, and then diverted the conversation "So Garrus, what's up? You've hardly touched your food."

"Oh, I've had the dextro-meat tray, already…I've got to admit, blackened and with the sauce, it was quite good. But I'm…not sure about these fritters these…'hush puppies'."

Sighing heavily in disgust, Shepard looked a bit incredulous "Oh come on Garrus, really? Isn't that joke played out in the Galaxy by now? No, hot dogs DON'T have real dog meet in them. No, hush puppies DON'T have actual puppy meat in them."

"Dunno. Puppy meat sounds pretty good to me. Probably really tender." Grunt couldn't help but remark with a slight chuckle, eliciting a snort of amused approval from Wrex.

Holding out her hand Grunt-ward, and still talking to Garrus, Shepard said "Okay, IGNORE him. Seriously. They're dextro-fritters done Earth-Cajun style. I'm sure I'd be stealing them off your plate if they wouldn't immediately kill me or something."

Garrus grabbed one of the balls between his fingers, glancing at it appraisingly "See, now that's the thing. You humans, most of you at least, I have this discussion with you, and it's all 'Oh no…ugh. We don't eat dogs, and shame on you for even suggesting we'd do such a savage thing. But I happen to know for a fact, Shepard, that you HAVE eaten dog meat in the past."

Shepard blushed and coughed "Uh…Garrus yeah…that…that was a survival thing, growing up on the streets and stuff? And only once or twice."

Ashley couldn't help but make a face, and glare at Shepard for a moment, who just shrugged sheepishly.

"Hmmm…well…be that as it may, once in a while, I'll meet one of you humans, sometimes they're be the darker skinned genotypes, the Africans? Sometimes the ones you call Chinese or Asians. And sometimes those people will talk about how they miss their Mom's home style dog-meat based dishes, but the rest of you humans apparently make them feeling bad about it, so they don't usually talk much about it in the open."

Feeling rather sheepish, Holly took another mouthful of beer, swallowed, and then tried to explain "Yeah Garrus, but…that's…um..you know that's the Chinese…and it's a different culture, and..."

Garrus interrupted "Shepard…there are a LOT of these "Chinese" people around, I couldn't help but notice. To be perfectly honest? For two years after first contact, my Government classified them as a separate race…we thought that they lived on a separate planet in your star system, because they were so numerous. Seriously, we were about to open up separate diplomatic relations with them and everything. So don't feel like you can just dismiss THEM so lightly, either."

Blinking for a moment, Shepard sighed, then shrugged and gave a half-hearted smile "Well…I'll give. Sure. You got me there."

"Yes. I have a theory about this actually. See, I think right before your species went out into the rest of the Galaxy, right BEFORE you opened up your Charon Relay, you got all the humans together, in one big room, and said 'Hey guys. Let's all agree that before we start making contact with new life, we're going to totally mess with their heads. Let's do things to try and drive them crazy…like…half of us will pretend to abhor the thought of eating certain Earth creatures, and half of us will be totally fine with that."

Slumping her head for a moment, Shepard responded "Garrus…if the human race can't decide whether the game is called football or soccer, I really can't imagine we could get our shit together well enough to play the Galaxy's biggest practical joke."

"See! That only gives me more evidence for my theory!"

Suddenly breaking out into a laugh, and leaning in close, Shepard said "Garrus, you're as lousy an anthropologist as I am. Now…eat your god damned hush puppies. "

He twitched up his mandibles in a sort of grin and started chowing down.

* * *

Shepard and the others made their way towards Purgatory, emerging from the elevator.

Garrus nodded in approval "Alright, Joker. I'll give you some credit. No crazy lines out the door, no mob scene. A few of the boys from C-Sec here obviously to help keep the peace, but otherwise...I guess I owe you some credit."

Joker nodded, clapping Garrus on the back "See? I told you. Just a few of the Admirals extended friends and admirers. Folks like Barla Von, Bailey from C-Sec, I think one of the other Specters, the gang over at the Embassy desk. A lot of folks who might not otherwise get to rub shoulders with her. You know...just a few of the little folks who never really get to meet the Admiral. Thought it might be nice."

Garrus blinked "Huh. Mr. Morreau, perhaps I judged you too harshly."

"Oh, and I invited the Joint Arasi-Human Women's Volleyball Olympic Team.

Garrus laughed "Nice one."

Joker smirked "No. I'm dead serious. Some of those women are CRAZY fans of Shepard's. And I'm..a crazy fan of them all."

Garrus sighed heavily, shaking his head, as James piped up "Whoa. Wait...did I hear something about volleyball girls?"

Shepard smiled "Oh, relax. It'll be nice. Talk with a few people, maybe sign a few autographs, take some pictures. Thank some of the true unsung heroes, some of the people who were helping in their own small but vital ways to keep the day to day operations going during the worst of the war. And I can't imagine adding one volleyball team to the mix is going to make things go out of control.

They stepped in through the inner door...

...to a packed house yelling "SHEPARD!" The club looked busier than ever, although for some reason, the vast majority of the crowd seemed to be respectfully holding off on any merry-making for the moment. Turning to Joker, Garrus murmured "I do believe I'm going to need to kill you for this, Joker."

Holding up his hands in defensive protest, Joker stammerd "I..I..hey. I'm JUST as surprised as you are about this. This was NOT part of MY plan. Although...I'm not going to lie, this is much more awesome than what I had planned."

At that moment, an Asari rose smoothly, gracefully up from one of the couches, her back previously to the door. Clad in a high collared, white leather bolaro jacket with matching long gloves, and tight black leather pants, Aria T'loak smirked, exceedingly pleased with herself. She started to walk down the ramp, stalking her way like a graceful wildcat.

"Well, well. 'Grand Admiral' Shepard. A little birdy tells me that you have the good taste to take an Asari for a bondmate; I have to congratulate you, you definitely know how to pick them as well. Benezia's daughter, mmm mmm. Well, once I heard from a friend of a friend about the..ah...private event that was planned here tonight, I pulled a few strings." She placed her hands on Shepherds arms "Believe it or not, Shepard, I STILL remember a certain Lieutenant Commander who celebrated her 25th birthday on MY station. Even if you don't remember meeting me that weekend. So I figured...why not let yourself have one last grand blowout before settling down...you can go back to your sickening respectability act tomorrow. And you...can thank me later. Happy Bonding, Shepard." She then pulled the Admiral close, planting a rather passionate kiss on a very surprised Holliandra, holding it for a few seconds, before gently pushing her back, and then turning on heel, walking back into the cheering throngs, who immediately began dancing and chatting.

Shepard blinked, speechless as Ashley murmured "Wow. This doesn't scream obvious setup or anything."

Garrus nodded "I agree. This definitely has "entrapment and blackmail." written all over it.

Turning around to address the rest of her party as she started to walk backwards slowly, she waved them on "Oh...come on guys. Have a little fun. We don't have to play her game. As long as we keep our heads and our wits about us, we can still enjoy the evening and walk out with our heads held up high the next day."

* * *

Shepard woozily stared at her drink, which was actively glowing a bright shade of green, literally producing light against her face and surrounding environment. She inquired, "Uh...uh...I forget. Is it liquor then beer, or beer then liquor? Oh...Oh god. Not..not good if I can't remember. Ash...you gotta help me here...Ash? Ash?"

She glanced over to the side to see Williams and Vega passionately making out in one of the more secluded corners of the club, clearly intoxicated. Turning back to her drink, she asked the bartender "Whut is this, anywho?"

The Asari tending bar smiled, and said in a chipper tone of voice "It's a Mer Vendela. It's..ah..kind of like Human absinthe...only...umm...ab..sinthier? I guess? I don't know. Try it though, you'll like it! It's very popular on certain Asari worlds..."

Shrugged and murmurs "Alright...one last drink...won't kill me. Last one for the night though. Promise" Shepard downed the over-sized shot, about the size of a tequila slammer. She blinked, and shook her head, a warm giddiness suffusing her body, as she turned and stumbled away from the bar.

She was sitting on a couch, giggling inanely to herself in another corner of the club when she noticed Traynor suddenly plopping down heavily. Glancing at each other in surprise, Samantha smiled gleefully "Heyyyyy...heyyy Comm..er...Admurlllll...Holly!" she laughed herself, holding up one of the shot glasses "Have you...have you tried the...green stuff. They...they are...they're good!"

The pair of them started to giggle insanely for a moment, before Shepard asked "Samantha! Sam! Sammeeeee. Hi. Wow. What the hell are you doing here? Should...shouldn't...you be...I don't know..um...wedding...thingies?"

Looking bleary-eyed, Traynor responded in an almost squeaky sing-song voice "Oh...no...no I'm good. I'm so...so very...very good. Finally got...those..oh what do you call them. They're all pretty and glowy and floaty and helpful, and say Yes, Ma'am! Ms. Samatha Ma'am!" She paused, staring out into space for a moment, entranced by the light show coming off the dance floor. Finally thinking to complete her sentence half a minute later, she softly said "Virtual. Thingies. Intelligences. Oh! That's right."

Shepard held her face in her hands for a moment, trying to keep from completely breaking out into laughter "Holy...oh holy...oh SHIT Traynor. You are so...so stoned! I can't believe it!"

Traynor didn't answer right away, her tunnel-visioned stare focusing on a group of Asari and Humans dressed in bikinis, and dancing with each other. "Oh...maiiiGod. I think...is that...is that the Human-Asari Volleyball Team? Oh...Oh GOD. The things...I would do to those women...have dreamed of doing." She blinked a few times and then turned to Shepard "What did you say?"

Shepard continued to fight off completely melting into giddy giggles "I said...you're stoned! And holy shit, so am I! Oh geezus" she shook with unrestrained glee, "Did you...did you have the green glowy stuff?"

Traynor stared out, reaching up to play with Shepards hair, as if she had never seen anything like it before, then blinked and stopped herself, shaking her head as if to clear it. "I am not...I am not...stoned. I'm not...there was...this...and it glowed and...did you say green? Cause I think I didn't have more than one...two...umm..." she started to count on her fingers, holding up 3 "That...that many. I think."

The both stopped dead silent for a moment, looking at each other. After 30 seconds, half the club could hear them breaking out into laughter simultaneously.

"Oh my Gouad!" Traynor exclaimed, her British accent becoming far more pronounced. "What...um..what do we do?"

"We just..hah..we just...we just sit here and...ride it out. Trust me. I'll...uh...I'll try to get some water. Lots and lots and lots...of water." Sheard patted Traynors leg reassuringly "I've...got a surprising amount of experience just...riding things like this...holy shit...she... is soooo...just...BLUE. I mean like..even for an Asari" as she started to stare, fascinated at one of the Volleyball team members.

Samantha guided Shepard's head back to see her and said "Hey...so..um..hey...Holly? Holllleeeand-ah-ra. I better say it now, since I probably wont...um...probably wont..um...thingy. Remember! Yes. Tomorrow. But you're a very lucky woman. And um...so is...Leeeeee. Leeeara! Yes! The entire female dating pool will be just so...so very very sad. Tragedy! Believe me. So...on the honor of all their broken hearts to come...I think I should get a chance to kiss the bride. One...teeny, tiny kiss.

Shepard blinked one eye, and then the other, out of synch. "Ah...wow" She shook her head, furiously trying to fight it. "I'm not so sure that's such a good idea, Sam. Sammy Sam. Sam Sam Sam..." starting to giggle again.

_Gently_ hitting Shepard's arm Traynor chided "Oh...caaaahmon! One tiny kiss. Then I can say that I got to kiss the Grand Amma-ral once." She then puckerd up, like a third grader about to get a brief little peck on the lips.

Shepard was continuous giggles at this point, before looking up through her spread fingers over her face. "Kay. Kay...ONE. One...TINY kiss. Totally chaste..completely...plah...plaht...friendly. Kiss."

They both leaned in...

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Shepards subconcious:_

_**Renegade Shepard** appears on Shepard's left shoulder, clad in red leather bodice, fishnet tights, high heeled "witch boots" and matching aiviator glasses and bomber jacket. Teeny tiny horns on her head_

_**Renegade Shep**: Oh! Yes! Scorpia is back, bitches! And..ooooh. Whose tongue is in my mouth? (frames the "shot" of Traynor and Shepard between her fingers. "Annnnd...yes! Second base! Nice!"_

_**Renegade Shep**: (tapping her foot, looking around, over at the other shoulder. Clears her throat) "Ah...hem. Hey...hey Blue. This is usually about the point? You know? Where you come in, and stop me? Happens like 90 to 95 percent of the time these days?_

_**Paragon Shepard** appears on the right shoulder, kitted out in some sort of fantasy-style Vakyrie armor, angel wings, but instead of a halo, is wearing one of those cheap plastic "beer hats". Currently sucking on the tube, but lets it fall out of her mouth as she speaks._

_**Paragon Shep**: "Wow...hey...hey Red. Hi! Wow I am...is it me or is everything...like...swimmy around here?" (suddenly gasping in shock) Oh...oh nooooo! Holleeee. No! Stay good! Stay good! Don't (wobbles for a moment) do this to Liara! Mmmm. She's our...our precious little blueberry nummymuffin! And we love her to itty bits! (Hugs herself, with a giddy, lovesick look on her face.) "At...at least ASK Liara first. Cause...you know..maybe she wants to share too! Be nice! And...oh! *blushes* Now they're both at second base? I...well. I tried. Eh..._

_**Renegade Shep**: "Wow...huh. I...I'm really not used to winning so easily anymore. Honestly, I haven't won an argument since we punched that Quarian a-hole a while back. __Well then. (pauses, cracks her knuckles, cants her head to the side back and forth for a moment) Wanna make out?_

_**Paragon Shep**: *hiccups* Sure!_

* * *

Two pairs of three strong fingers, grabbed a shoulder each, pulling Traynor and Shepard apart from the exceedingly passionate kiss being shared. "See Steve? And not a minute too soon. Well...okay, maybe our timing could have been a LITTLE bit better. I had a feeling Aria was trying to engage in small talk for a reason." Garrus mused. Throwing a protesting, yelling and laughing Shepard over his shoulder, he nodded to Cortez "Do me a very large favor, and...at least keep her distracted for the time being?" motioning to Traynor

Cortez chuckled and laughed "Yeah...I've got this. You go get the Admiral out of here."

Garrus hmmmmed "Yes...well...if you'll pardon me, we need to make a hasty exit, then work on some damage control." As Garrus started to head towards one of the more discreet back exits of the club, Shepard waved, and started blowing kisses to the crowd "Goodbye, everybody! I love you! Your Hero-Queen of the Galaxy...loves you allllll! Especially you, ladies!"

Cortez then gently grabbed Traynor, who was beginning to peevishly whine about her kiss not being done yet, by the upper arms "Sweetie? Samantha. Lets go. Best Pal Steve is going to set you up with something a lot better." He then wrapped a tight arm around her, after pulling her up from the couch and onto her feet, and guided her over towards the assembled throng of the Joint Asari-Human Women's Olympic Volleyball team, who had been watching the make out session and Shepard's grand departure with no small amount of interest.

"Ladies. Glad to see you could make it. Enjoying the party? The Admiral sends her regards, but has unfortunately been called away to attend to business. But perhaps some of you would enjoy a private meeting with Specialist Samantha Traynor here, one of Admiral Shepard's must trusted right hand women, after taking a personal tour of the Normandy?"

More than a few pairs of eyes and smiles descended upon Traynor, who managed to remain steady enough on her feet to suddenly hold out a crooked arm at each side, and two members of the team stepped up to take an offered arm. Mouthing "Oh my god, I LOVE you!" silently to Cortez, she started to lead the group, with an exaggerated swagger of her hips, out of the club, with Cortez following respectfully behind to keep an initial eye on things.

"Oh...yes! The...Ahhhhdmiral (again, playing up her British accent.) simply couldn't get a thing done without me."

Not everyone from the team went off with Samantha...but enough did to ensure that she had an exceedingly enjoyable rest of the evening.

* * *

Shepard made a tentative attempt at conciseness light streaming through the window and tearing through her eyelids. She held up a shaky hand, to block it out, her stomach feeling full of acid and razor blades, her head like she had been exposed to about 10 more Prothean beacons. Cracking open one eye as far as she dare, she glanced over at Garrus, sitting in a chair in the small private sleeping cubicle...Shepard guessed they were at C-Sec HQ?

"Ah. You're up. Good...we need to talk...Holliandra."

Shepard's eyes shot up. She almost lost the contents of her stomach right then and there. Never, in their years of friendship, did Garrus ever call her by her first name. At least, certainly not by her COMPLETE first name. This boded...very badly."

She tried to speak, her voice coming out in a croak at first, before coughing. Garrus handed her a bottle of watch, which she sipped carefully, trying to keep from upsetting her stomach further, before finally getting out "Gar...rus? Did we...did we do...anything?"

He made a smiling gesture, and reached over to stroke Shepard's cheek for a moment 'Oh, we both had a bit too much to drink for a moment. I'm surprised you don't remember all the details. However, I do believe you started getting a bit...flirtatious. Something about how maybe my "shiny armor" needed to be buffed, something else about how if anything happened, it wouldn't count because I was "a boy". Also, I believe your last words were something to the effect of "Garrus, your eyes are like twin suns of...Oh! Hey...we should totally fuck."

Shepard just stared, absolutely dumbstruck at him.

Chuckling further, he said "Oh, normally such suavity and grace would be wasted on me, but I guess in my inebriated state at the time, I just...couldn't...say no. Not to the "Hero-Queen of the Galaxy".Garrus reached out, and patted her head saying "There there, you're secrets safe with me, 'cuddlebug'."

"You...are so full...of shit. Vakarian"

"Damn. I really thought I could have you going. Teach you a lesson, that I would say you sorely needed, except I think the real lesson is probably hitting you now."

Shepard nodded...everything was just...hurty...all over. She croaked out again in a hoarse whisper "Oh...Christ. Did...did Traynor and I...tonsil hockey?"

Garrus mmmmmed "If it's what I think you mean, then I'm afraid the answer is...yes. But you were both not...yourselves. And Steve tells me that Traynor woke up in absolute hysterics about half an hour ago, so no harm done, I suspect."

Shepard blinked for a moment "Really? She was that upset?"

Garrus leaned back in his chair "Oh...well. No. Not all at once. First, Dr. Chakwas had to surgically remove the smile from her face. Apparently as punishment, Cortez sent Traynor straight to your room last night. With, about 3 or 4 members of the women's Volleyball team.

Shepard shook her head. Very carefully...just that effort alone made the room swim. "Damn...score one for her! Long as no one touched my models, nobody has to die. But...aw damnit, I told EDI to turn the cameras off in my room a couple weeks back." She hit her head in frustration with the palm of her hand, and winced supremely at that. "Ow...God...bad move."

Taking another drink of water, Shepard returned to the original point "But...I...I gotta still...tell Liara. You know? Wouldn't be right. "

Garrus, thought for a moment, and then nodded "Alright. If you think that's wisest. Although honestly, I'll say...good for you. I'm glad I don't have to keep a secret from her now."

Shepard nodded, and gave a bit of a thumbs up.

"Suffice it to say, when Steve arrived a little bit into the party, I was already on my third glass of water, and asked him to stay sober as well. We figured you could probably use a...what's the phrase...wingman?"

Trying to push herself up slightly onto her side, Shepard took another drink of water, and muttered "No...wingman...helps you get laid. You...my friend...were just a god damn...pussyblocker." She then held up a shaky fist. "Give me some knuckles, you awesome bastard."

Garrus clenched his fingers into a fist and bumped Shepard's own gently.

She gave a slight smile, then winced at the effort that required. "Thanks..." her voice returning back to a bit more normal. "Seriously. Thank you. You did the right thing, at a time and place where I should have known better. I'm...anyhow..I'm seriously proud...and lucky to have you for a friend. You know?"

Garrus tilted his head "Shepard, if you suddenly exclaim that I am your "brother from another mother"...

She threw the now empty bottle of water at him, and smiled softly. "Fuck you..."

He caught the bottle deftly with one hand. "Oh. That's nice. And after I spent all night hacking the monitoring systems that Aria...I'm guessing, set up all through Purgatory, scrubbing all that incriminating data she tried to capture."

Shepard just absolutely stunned at Garrus. Then held up her hands, impressed. "Oh...you...NOW, you ARE my brother from another mother. And..." suddenly she looked green around the gills. "One more...favor?"

"Sure, although I think I can guess."

Shepard got up and started to run to the toilet "Hold back my hair!"

Over the next two hours, Shepard promised, over and over again, that she would never drink again. Although she did consider getting a bottle of the "Green stuff" for her and Liara to share, sometime.

And Garrus decided he now understood why humans called it "Being the Best Man."


	8. Mass Embarrassment

**A/N**: Welp, it's time for a shorter, smutty one. Once again, walking the line between gratuity and...um...anti-gratuity? Keith R.A. DeCandido, a Star Trek novel writer I once had the pleasure of losing a game of Texas Hold'Em to a few years ago, likes to occasionally sort of poke fun at the way Star Trek handles the issue of its characters just talking about sex, in this sort of giggling, naive way. I guess this one is my response to that notion.

The actual wedding (finally!) will be the next chapter coming up. I'm anticipating it being bigger, so again, might be a week or two till it's up.

And neat! I just realized I hit the 50K mark with this chapter.

* * *

**W Minus 5**

"But…you two are still getting married though…right?"

There rose a collective groan in the group at Tali's inquiry. Ashley let out a large sigh, shaking her head and covering her face with her palm, Traynor once against looked mortified, and covered her face entirely with both hands, and Miranda leaned back a bit into her chair, smirking bemusedly.

EDI simply stared, unblinking, having assumed a default pleasant smile for the occasion.

Liara smiled tightly. "Yes. Of course. Mer Vendela is a rather…strong psychotropic; its effect in humans is much more like certain plants that grow on Earth, very…much something of an aphrodesiac. I imagine the bartender was working for Aria and plying certain…crewmembers, in hopes to cause such a scene."

Fortunately, Garrus had done most of the cleanup work, and as the Shadow Broker, she was able to obtain the extremely small handful of recordings that had been floating around. There were witnesses, and tongues would be set a wagging in the tabloid feeds, but for the most part, the Galaxy in general seemed more than happy to write it off as the usual "trashy rumor" as opposed to any sort of an actual scandal.

The "bridal shower" was taking place on one of the many balconies off T'Soni-Dalesh; in this case, the one nearest to the actual beach, the roar of the ocean making for a pleasant background noise. It was late enough in the particularly gorgeous and clear day that the large balcony was shaded in the massive central spire of the compound, shielding them from the worst of the Thessian sun. An assortment of finger foods, teas and juices had been set out in a central low table, with chairs arrange all around it.

Liara would never admit that she found Shepard's honest confession the next day over the comm system…highly endearing. She knew that her bondmate-to-be had quite the ravenous libido, and that monogamy was not exactly something she was used to. In time she might even be open to allowing her to pursue other physical relationships outside of their marriage. However…that day was not today; she didn't feel particularly ashamed at her possessiveness, having no strong desire to share Shepard with anyone else, and was pleased that Shepard vehemently agreed. Whatever might have happened, she still knew that during the time they were apart due to Shepard's initial death and subsequent resurrection, she stayed ultimately true and faithful, even when their relationship was on uncertain footing.

Of course she had reason to believe that Shepard very much had a fond eye for Kelly Chambers, taking her death rather hard, and couldn't blame her for being attracted to Traynor either…but still, she hadn't strayed in the end, not really.

"Wow. Tali. And I thought I was tactless." Ashley murmured, but couldn't help smirking a bit towards the Quarian.

"What? I only just heard about this this morning. I wasn't there, like everyone else practically, so I just wanted to make sure."

Traynor peeked out through her splayed fingers, ultimately dropping her hands, and looking very…chastened. "Again…Liara. I am so…..so very sorry about that. All of that. It was highly inappropriate of me, and I promise you it won't happen again. Once more just….so sorry."

Liara focused a calm steady gaze on Traynor and nodded once "It's quite alright, Specialist Traynor. I might even find it in my heart to forgive you, if your bridal shower gift is good enough."

Traynor blinked, began to stammer "Well..I…that is…of course it's very nice..but…"

Liara's smile widened "That…was a joke, Samantha. Think nothing more of it."

_"As long as you leave my Shepard alone for a long while…" _she thought

"Besides, it sounds like your evening ended much more pleasantly than Holly's"

Traynor looked relieved, almost giddy. Ashley smirked and turned to her "Hey, so any truth to the rumor that half of that volleyball team autographed your back and butt on the way out?"

Samantha look horrified for a moment, then suddenly grinned wickedly, steadying herself mentally "Yes…if you consider lipstick kiss-prints to be "signing"

Ashley laughed boisterously "Ha ha! Niiiice comeback! Good to see you can hold your own…sometimes." She still leaned over, as she was sitting right next to Traynor, and gave her a friendly hug.

"I believe Jeff would be somewhat disappointed in how quickly and smoothly an understanding and acceptance of the situation was reached." EDI started to address Samantha "I believe he mentioned a desire to see some sort of "cat fight", between yourself and Liara."

Miranda finally decided to chime in, after taking a sip of her lemon shandy. "EDI, have you ever considered taking that boy in to be gelded? It would no doubt tremendously improve his disposition."

EDI paused for a moment "If I were to have Jeff medically castrated, that would permanently impede his ability to reproduce. However, seeing as he and I are currently attempting to pursue a relationship, that function is not of critical importance. Thank you, Miranda, I will take your advice under assessment.

Before anyone could react, EDI added "That…was a joke. Especially as the same effect could be achieved with any number of pharmaceutical regimens that would not result in permanent damage to his reproductive organs." She then attempted to crack a playful smile…it did not come out with absolute success.

"EDI…remind me to never…ever anger you. In any way, shape or form." Tali remarked.

Liara stepped in, to change the subject gently "Well, normally I would make some sort of statement about how I don't understand the need for segregation as part of these human wedding traditions. I would absolutely have loved having everyone here, including and especially Holly. But…seeing as I am supposed to be "putting her in the doghouse" as she explained it, I've decided that her punishment is not participating in this ritual.

Ashley tilted her head, narrowing her eyes "Uhmmm…I don't think that's much of a punishment, Liara."

"I didn't say I was allowing her to share my bed tonight, either." Liara smiled, before taking a sip of her juice.

Ashley nodded once "Well, just as long as you don't get into a long and whiny speech about gender roles in human society. I thought Shepard was going to suddenly grow an extra ovary in front of us at the barbecue joint."

"I must admit, I still have difficulty fully grasping the nature of this concept of gender. For a while, I used to explain to others that my race was mono-gendered. But recently, I studied some of the newer language translation guides that have come out, and realized I was incorrect, that my race is actually what you would call "mono-sexed". Which only made the concept of gender harder for me to comprehend. For Asari, there is only…personality, I suppose.

Miranda straightened up "Uch! Please, no more of this pontificating. It's just as well Shepard isn't here. As a great bard on Earth once noted, 'Love is a battlefield'. The whole point of the bridal party is for the bride to gather her 'weapons' to use upon her intended, in order to wrap him..or her, in this case, around her little finger.

Liara blinked "I…wasn't aware that ritual combat was part of human bonding practices…"

Miranda held her smile "Combat has so many different meanings."

Ashley shook her head fiercely "No no no…dont listen to her, Liara. she's talking sexy sex! Bedroom stuff, you know. So that Shepard is still violently screaming your name for a week after the wedding. And on that note…" She reached under her seat pulling out two boxes, one labeled "Naughty", the other "Nice".

Opening the Nice box, Liara smiled. "Oh, it's lovely!" she she pulled out a silk and lace lingiere set, panties, chemise, stockings, garters, and all. "It's…similar to something Shepard picked out for herself when we went clothes shopping in the city, the last time she was here on Thessia with me."

Miranda quirked a brow "Wait a second, Shepard wears…"

"…girly stuff?" Ashley completed.

Liara looked back and forth between both of them. "Yes. Of course she does. She actually has a rather extensive collection of what you would call "feminine undergarments." I'm not sure what else you were expecting?"

Traynor murmured to herself "I thought I felt something lacy..." then shut her mouth, looking embarrassed once more.

Tali chimed in "Wow. I always assumed the Admiral went…well..naked underneath."

Ashley added "Or that it was all camo briefs and sports bras. Go fig! Well…anyhow, open the other box! This is for nights where you feel like reducing Shepard to a drooling blob of lust. At least, that's what the sales girl told me. I'm not exactly the best judge of that sort of thing. At least...not with regards to other women.

Liara started to look in the box, and pulled out just enough to show it was some sort of highly aggressive leather, fishnet, and metal collection. She actually blushed for a moment, and then put the box down "Yes. Thank you it's…I will look at it more fully….later." She then cracked a smile "Perhaps if I feel like teasing Holly further."

Miranda punched her fist up into the air, gently "Dead on. Now, you go Traynor."

Traynor blinked "What? Why is it my turn? Why don't you go?"

"Best for last. Trust me, it's worth waiting for. Besides, I already know what you're giving them, and believe me, we might as well just get it over with."

Traynor stared daggers at Miranda, and then handed over her own silver box to Liara. "Well, mine is a labor of love, thank you very much. I did all the CAD/CAM work myself, and then had it shipped off to one of those DIY fabrication kiosks on Thessia right before we left the Citadel."

Liara opened the metal box, the smiled brightly at the contents " Goddess, it's gorgeous" she said, pulling out an intricately carved metal chessboard inlaid with onyx and ivory, accented with platinum. She then looked further inside the box "Oh, and you've made...custom pieces as well?" Inside was a rack, which a labeled nook for each piece. Pulling out the black queen, and holding it up to look it over with the group, Liara realized it was Shepard...dressed as a rather aggressive looking dominatrix in a black leather corset, boots and gloves. She could do little but quirk a brow in immediate reaction

"Wow, Traynor, did you make a piece for each of us?" Ashley asked as she removed a knight that looked suspiciously like herself, only in a chain mail bikini.

Miranda glanced over in the box, then got up so she could inspect the bishop; it was her...only in some sort of black bodysuit. She studied it critically, and softly murmured "Wow...this is...this is VERY detailed. Especially my ass. Traynor, this is starting to become a bit disturbing now...because I KNOW I didn't let you scan me in advance.

Before Traynor could start to stammer out a flustered answer, EDI explained "Every individual who had boarded the Normandy SR-2 has passed through a phase motion sensor grid, which takes high resolution digital models of individual bodies as a security measure. I simply supplied Traynor with the requested digital modeling data. Indeed, your posterior on the game piece is precise in scale to at least 5 nanometers..."

Ashley responded before Miranda could get a word in edgewise "Okay Samantha, I think I speak for the group when I say that I find this creepy and unsettling in its artistic mastery...but *I* at least will at least be willing to forget about it...if you make me a wearable version of this metal bikini my piece is dressed in..." James had a birthday coming up and she suddenly realized what gift she could get him...

"Speak for yourself, I think I look very attractive in this particular environmental suit" Tali exclaimed, holding up the other bishop piece. "The visor really sets the rest of the ensemble off nicely."

Traynor continued to blush, shrinking in her seat, and thinking that perhaps she should have thought this gift idea through a little more thoroughly. Clearing her throat, she addressed Liara once more " And at the bottom of the box is my own personal copy of Vaenia It's the extended directors cut. All the different visual angles included. Oh, and at least 15 hours of related behind-the-scenes clips! It...ahhh...holds a lot of sentimental value..."

Liara got up and gave Traynor a hug, obviously touched. "Thank you, Samantha. That's a wonderful gesture. You may now consider yourself truly forgiven." She smirked softly at that, taking her seat once more.

Traynor was still blushing when Tali held out a large wrapped basket "Well, *I* decided to go the purely romantic route, thank you very much. These sorts of issues, they can be a little...tricky for us Quarians, what with our...issues. But the shopkeeper told me that this was their nicest "romantic bath" kit. Scented candles, soaps, bath oils, something called a loofah, which I am told is some sort of Earth plant used for exfoliating the skin. It all smells quite nice, though! It was totally worth the three hours of sneezing I endured afterwards.

Liara laughed lightly, also giving Tali a hug " Thank you so much, I'm sure we will enjoy this, tremendously".

EDI added "In a similar vein, my research has shown that couples who engage in activities together can enhance the experience through the use of personalized items that acquire sentimental value. With that in mind, I noted that you share a common Asari fascination with human hair, and would often brush or otherwise attend to Admiral Shepard's own when you were both alone in her quarters.

Furthermore, I noted that this was often developed into a form of sexual expression humans designate as "foreplay". I attempted to follow a line of inquiry into this with the Admiral a few weeks ago, but as soon as I mentioned I maintain an audio/visual record of all parts of the ship, she demanded that I disable the sensors in her cabin, and told me that she would answer my question "later".

Everyone appraised EDI with a stunned expression, except for Miranda, who looked positively smug, and Traynor, who looked relieved, as if having figured this out a while back herself. Ashley looked like she was about to crack her teeth in the force smile as she leaned over and responded, through clenched jaws "EDI…we are going to have a long…LONG talk later on. About boundary issues!"

Unphased, EDI replied "Certainly, Commander Williams. With the Admiral's permission, I am willing to block off or otherwise delete any recordings featuring you that are deemed "non-essential", from the record.

Looking barely mollified at this, Ashley relaxed just a bit, muttering "Weirdest….bridal shower…ever" to herself.

Continuing on, EDI then added "With this in mind, I have acquired a hair care kit of a sufficient value and aesthetic appeal so as to please you without embarrassing you with notions as to whether too little or too much currency was exchanged for its procurement." She then reached under her seat, grabbed a large gold box, and handed it to Liara, who then began to inspect the contents; inside were an ornate, antique silver hairbrush and matching combo, Asian hairsticks made of jade, and a large assortment of high quality hair care products: soaps, shampoos, styling gel, and so forth. EDI concluded, by stating "I believe you'll find the contents ideal for imparting optimal quantities of aesthetically pleasing albedo, texture, and kinetic resiliency to Shepard's hair."

Liara removed the silver hairbrush, looking it over with covetous eyes. With intricate filigree engraving, and thick bristles in a wide, oversized oval head, she couldn't help turning it over in her fingers, smiling to herself in expectation. Remembering herself, she then looked up "EDI…this is so…thoughtful and insightful! I'm so impressed and touched." She leaned in, to give her a hug, her fingers curiously noting the very odd texture of her metallic skin, having never actually had the opportunity to touch the artificial "mobile frame" before.

EDI said "Thank you, Liara. I'm….pleased with your response. Oh, and Joker wished for me to make mention that the hairbrush was of an appropriate size and heft so as to be useful in certain sadomasochistic disciplinary practices. I am…uncertain of the reason why this is worthy of notation."

Ashley groaned loudly at this, shaking her head. "EDI…we ALSO need to have a talk…about that man-child of yours, later today."

"Of course, Ashley; I highly value any relationship insights and advice you might wish to impart."

Miranda leaned up, clutching a fancy black metal box with gold script written on the side. "And last, but absolutely not the least…" she handed it over to Liara, when pressed a small panel on the side, causing the top of the box to slide open. She then spent a good minute examining the contents inside, before looking up, with a tremendous blush coloring her cheeks, and responded.

"I…have no idea what this is actually supposed to be…" She then looked down, inspecting once again "Nor am I certain that I am…anatomically compatible with its use."

Miranda nodded slowly, smirking brightly, "Oooh…I made certain that you are. The box is from a retailer called 'Sympatico' which specializes in sex toys for cross-species couples. This was from the selection from their catalog specifically intended for asari-slash-human female pairings.

The others glanced inside, Ashley almost immediately looking away. "Miranda…were you genetically programmed by Cerberus to be some sort of perverted freak? Seriously?"

"What? It's all in good fun, who are you to judge, Williams?" Miranda responded, narrowing her eyes in a slight bemused challenge.

Traynor blushed herself and stammered "My…that's….that's quite a…well…yes."

Miranda turned back to respond to Liara "And like I said before, definitely made for the both of you. Although it's more for you to use ON Shepard, than anything else."

Liara closed the box, unable to keep looking at the contents. "I see…so the…the straps are some sort of…harness..then…?"

"And the rest of it has a small mass effect generator, yes." Miranda added.

Holding a blank expression for a good few seconds, Liara finally shook off whatever shock had taken her, then cleared her throat and smiled "Thank you, really, everyone. These are all….wonderful…in their own way." Now, I believe there was some talk about going swimming, and then into the main city for a show?"

She rose, and the others started to follow her off the balcony. Ashley shook her head at Miranda again, and softly snorted "Such. A. Freak…"

Traynor, on the other hand, lingered behind, walking in step next to Miranda and softly asked "Um…hey…could you maybe give me the extranet link for that catalog sometime?"


	9. Esprit du Mariage

**A/N: **Hi kids. How are we doing this lovely spring day? As a noble warrior-poet once remarked "It's a nice day for a white wedding." Originally, this was going to be a longer chapter, paired up with the "real wedding" chapter, in the way I originally intended to pair up The Best Man and Mass Embarrassment into one chapter. But just like with those two, I think this is going to work better as two separate entries.

So in a day or two, I'll start working on the "real wedding" chapter. It's already half written in my head anyhow, and I think it's going to be the much better of the two. On the other hand, I was really dreading writing this chapter, and it came out not as bad as I feared.

For those seeking extra poignancy, read Black Holes And Revelations first (or afterwards) so you can see what was going on in Garrus' head during part of this story.

Also in this story: **OOOOH! FORESHADOWING!**

-HgC

* * *

**W-0 (Wedding Day)**

Shepard looked as fetching as she did agitated, dressed in a highly decorated, albeit restrictive looking white uniform dress. Every medal, award, pin, and decoration that had been bestowed upon her, by almost every government power in the galaxy has somehow been crammed onto it, along with a brimmed hat, white leather gloves, and gold fringed epaulets and matching brading at the cuffs of the sleeves of her dress jacket, along with the hem of her long skirt as well.. A large side-saber had been part of the original uniform, but Shepard had drawn the line there, insisting on a much simpler, ceremonial sidearm. Still, she couldn't believe the appalling amount of politicking and pressure that the Systems Alliance had brought to bear, along with the Asari Republics, and the spectacle that her "official wedding" had now descended to. It made her want to run off to the firing range, and just make as many head shots on the practice targets as she could.

She paced nervously in one of the small rear chambers of the Tempale of Athame…at least that's what Garrus assumed she was doing, as she had managed to lock herself in the bathroom, and had refused to come out. Leaning with his back against the wall right next to the door, Garrus calmly, quietly called out

"Shepard…"

"No, Garrus."

"Shepard, come on now. They're going to be calling for you soon."

"No, Garrus! How the hell am I supposed to walk out there? Have you seen how many people are there? I mean, have you actually SEEN it all?"

"Actually now that you ask: Yes. Yes I have. Tali just sent me a lovely full color graphic from low orbit. I thought she was exaggerating, but you really can just make out the size of the assembled crowd several hundred miles above the planet of the surface." He pulled up his omni-tool which had begun to holographicly display various images of the mammoth crowd that had now surrounded the temple itself. Then felt sheepish as he realized Shepard wasn't around to actually see the pictures for her own benefit.

"Hmmm...So that has to be at least 50 miles in diameter? Give or take? That, and most of the orbital planes of Thessia appear to be dangerously clogged with ships watching from above. Look at it this way, if even half of those people brought a gift, you'd probably have enough money and material to start your own economic power. Unless, of course, everyone got you champagne flutes, or dinner forks. Then, I suppose, you would have the galaxy's largest collection of dinner ware.

There was a loud THWUMP against the door from Shepard's side, probably from her hitting her head against it once. She sighed melodramatically and then called out "This is….this is too man people, Garrus! Hackett promised me it wouldnt get anywhere even close to this size. Not even more than 5000! We had a deal! He reneged!"

"Oh I very much doubt he himself believed that figure…when have you ever known a political boondoggle like this to stick to its initial estimates, before everyone gets their piece of the action factored in.

"But I'm…ummm...I'm a child bride?"

"Shepard, I know for a fact that you are almost double the age of what your particular Earth culture considers "adulthood", so I'm not even going to dignify that with an actual response."

Shepard sighed very softly, lowering her voice "It's something Liara would say…"

"And for an Asari, yes, she probably IS a child bride...and shame on you for that." he chuckled in good humor " And if you were a Salarian, you'd be a grandmother by now. So your point is?"

"God...I miss her, right now. I can't believe I decided to stick with this whole tradition of not seein gthe "bride" before the wedding. Whose dumb idea was that? I thought I decided to scrap this bullshit after the bachelorette party?"

"Oh no, it WAS *YOUR* dumb idea, Shepard. Though I can understand you regretting it at the moment, however." Truth be told, he'd much rather be spending time right now with Tali, nurturing their slowly budding romance...but there would be time enough for that before too long.

Shepard sounded like she was starting to pace back and forth again "Elopement, Garrus! Help me get out of here, and we'll find Liara, and we'll elope. I bet you we could bug out on the Normandy to Omega, pop over to the Afterlife, and let Aria marry us. It would probably amuse her to no damn end, and it would have that sort of sweet, sentimental Vegas feel behind it. Oh, except for the fact that almost everyone on Omega wants you dead, because of the Archangel thing. And um...I think there are probably still a couple of Batarians I owe money to, there. Hey! I just had an idea, we can kill two birds with one stone! C'mon Garrus! You have to help me out of there, here! There's no way I can go through with this!"

Garrus sighed gently and tilted his head down. He was silent for a good half a minute, before speaking. "Shepard…I didn't want to have to bring this up. Believe me…I really didn't because it's what you humans would call "dirty pool." But there's a lot tied up in all of this: economic deals, trade negotiations, political alliances, mutual defense pacts. And I uh…I think you should know that I've been authorized by my Government to inform you that if you don't go through with this wedding today, that if you race off and try to escape, in some no doubt grandly romantic fashion….then the Turian Hierarchy will consider that an act of war by the Systems Alliance. And by the Asari Republics, if Liara goes with you."

The bathroom door nearly came splintering off its hinges from the force of Shepard throwing it open, stalking out on white leather high heeled shoes, and wagging a finger at Garrus, in a near-furious tone of voice "That...is BULLSHIT, Vakarian! And you can damn well get me the Primarch on the comm, and I will have a LONG conversation with him about this fucked-up notion of his!"

Garrus crossed his arms,and with a slightly smug expression, nodded once. "You're right. It _is_bullshit. Totally. I just made it up. Just like that. I have to admit, I'm actually getting pretty good at this. Oh, I mean, I've always been fantastic at thinking on my feet, but hanging around with you the past few years, I believe I've taken it to an artform.

Shepard blinked, her anger ablated for the moment, like a fire suddenly snuffed out by a sharp gust of wind, but threatening to gutter back into fury once more. She stared at Garrus, almost able to meet him eye to eye now due to her boosted height, and said "Huh. You just came up with that off the top of your head?"

"I did."

"Huh, that IS pretty good..."

"I know."

"Because I can totally see the Hierarchy doing that."

"You can, at least until you start to put some serious thought into it. Then it sort of falls apart. But the aim was accomplished all the same."

"I guess so."

"And it got you out of the bathroom, so now we can discuss this like adults, and not like one adult, and one teenager with cold feet."

Shepard almost had the good sense to look sheepish for a moment, but still sighed, hanging her head for a moment.

"Thanks" she almost whispered. "I guess I was going a little crazy there. Still…"she turned to the

sigh and groaned. Taking off the dress cap from her head, and waving it slowly around to emphasize her points as she spoke, she said "This isn't what I wanted, Garrus. I didn't do what I did for adulation, to be put up on a pedestal…to have to deal with the glare of constant scrutiny. I always did my best work from the shadows. Taking care of trouble before trouble...um..troubled others. Hell, I'm an Infiltrator! Well...was, I suppose. But you get my point. I did this…because people needed to be kept safe…from the greatest threat any of us ever knew. Nothing would make me happier than people to just send me a few thank you cards, and let me get on with life. And I just…"

As she trailed off, Garrus queried "Come on, Shepard. I've known you too long for this. What's really on your mind."

She winced for a moment, rubbing the bridge of her nose "This isn't how I want to start off my bonding with Liara. Not like this. Not in this…I don't know…this manner. Fashion. It's so…it's so fake! Showy!" her arms, which had been raised up a bit her head, came down suddenly in dramatic effect. "And I don't want my relationship tainted by that Garrus. Not this one. Not HER! I don't want it to be the…I don't know…the defining aspect of how we start the rest of our lives together."

"Hmmmmm. Well Shepard, as I just stated, I've gotten to know you pretty well over the last few years. Minus a two year hiatus, of course." He crooked a slight grin, reaching out to gently hold onto one of Holly's arms. "So let me tell you something about this, something I think you yourself already know, but you just need a reminder of. This show, yes…this…ok…you know what? I'm not going to call it a farce, because that implies a core of fakery, and while it's hard not to see the politicians and the business magnates and the power players seeing this as one big shindig to try and get a better deal for themselves out of life…but the majority of those people out there, Shepard? The millions, and yes, there ARE millions. Possibly tens, maybe even hundreds if you count ships viewing in orbit after Thessian Orbital Control began to forbid any more landings…and the no doubt many billions or trillions of sentient beings watching this, or who will watch the recordings in the years to come. All these people, well…they NEED this.

Shepard winced for a moment, a pained expression on her face, looking at him, at the thought of Billions-With-A-B people watching her like some sort of...bug under glass. She was silent as Garrus grabbed hold onto her arm.

He guided Shepard down onto a large couch, figuring they both could stand to take a load off, and continued "I know it's hard for you to appreciate, especially as you weren't around when the Council and the other Governments were working overtime to suppress any talk of the Reapers, or even the Collectors…but these people, the ones I'm talking about, the regular people? They weren't prepared. Not like you are I were. We privileged few had all the time we needed to adjust to the notion that these ancient myths and demons, so to speak, were very, very real, and coming for us. But the average sentient in the Galaxy? Either never heard of it, or was laughing at the 'fools' who dared to speak about it. And then….all that came crashing down, very quickly. I'm sure neither you nor I can truly appreciate how psychologically damaging that had to be."

He paused, to pour a couple of glasses of water, and toasted her with it. He was actually a big water drinker, as it was pretty much the only fluid he could be absolutely certain wouldn't kill him, in a largely levo-based galaxy. Shepard smiled slightly, took a large gulp, and nodded gratefully to him.

"But then here you come along Shepard, and half the galaxy thinks you're a raving lunatic who only got to be a Specter because of political machinations, and don't even fully realize the extent you played during the Battle of the Citadel. And then you're dead, and well…they notice you even less. Sorry about that." He tilted his head to the side, shrugged slightly, and then continued "And then when you do pull off the most amazing comeback, most of the folks who both believe it and care about it are angry at you for working with Cerberus. So in that sense, it's become even easier than ever for people to write off what you said about the Reapers.

And THEN, you become an outright war criminal after what happened with the Alpha Relay, and by that point it's childs play to write off what you had to say, what you were trying to prepare everyone for. For the average person that is. At least your own people just barely started to get the point.

Shepard crookedly grinned for a moment, almost a little pained, and murmured "You're going somewhere with this, right buddy?"

Garrus snorted "Yes, I've got a point…but this is a big event, so it requires me painting a big picture for you to appreciate the magnitude of it. When you started this last final push to save galactic life from its own short-sighted stupidity, you weren't exactly the most famous and celebrated hero…oh sure, there were groups of people, planets, who knew the truth, and would give you the benefit of the doubt until the day they died, but the vast majority of the galaxy? Not a chance. But then all of the sudden, it's "Oh Insert-Appropriate-Deity-Here! Shepard was right! The Reapers are coming! What shall we do?"

"And then, to make my very long explanation just a tiny bit shorter, you do it. You save the galaxy." Shepard started to frown lightly at this, prompting Garrus to hold up his hands for emphasis "And no no, I don't mean to belittle the accomplishments that the many billions sacrificed for that to happen. Not at all. But let's be honest, YOU got my people on board, YOU got the Genophage cured to bring in the Krogans, YOU were instrumental in ending hundreds of years of conflict between the Geth and the Quarians, and YOU were the one who made it into the Citadel and ultimately opened it up so the Crucible, which you helped rope in countless valuable resources for the construction of could be hooked up and utilized. Hell, the Q'nadiri, if they were still around, would no doubt be giving you medals as well. "

Garrus sighed heavily "Damnit…I'm still having trouble explaining this quickly, so let me just say this: You have so many people here…the true believers, the naysayers who became true believers, and the great mass of people who simply didn't know or understand, until the Reapers were there right in their faces, putting the absolute fear of death into them. Oh, and the few resenters of course, but we aren't counting them, not right now. Shepard…my people…we believe that a place, or a military unit, or a historical event…create Spirits, and these Spirits can influence and inspire the living, for years to come. You Humans have a similar concept, at least in the military, _esprit de corps_, I believe you call it. Some others of your kind also refer to it as _damashii_. So step back and think for a moment…these millions of people, coming together in hope and unity, in celebration, love and friendship...

He paused for a moment, and then grew a bit more animated as his explanation grew a bit more emotional "Can you imagine the sort of Spirit this is going to create? What you have going on here is a bolder, that you are dropping into the great lake of the Galaxy, and it's going to ripple out for years to come. I've never been much of a believer in Turian faith myself but…well. Even *I* can't deny the power of what's going on today, Shepard. So just go with that. Help give birth to it. Don't get so caught up in the people who are glomming on to this as a political or economic exercise, but on the great majority of people whose hearts are going to be touched by this in ways they don't even realize yet. Without the Reapers around, people are more likely to forget what it was like to be united, more likely to go back to being at each others throats again. But what you and Liara do here today…well I KNOW it's going to at least delay that…if just for a while. Maybe for a long while. So I'm asking you, no…TELLING you, you need to do this…if just for the sole reason of creating something wonderful, this Spirit, this...ah..._esprit du mariage_, if I understand the language correctly, that is going to touch the hearts of billions, and resonate positively for ages to come.."

Shepard just stared, a bit in awe, at her friend, then leaned in and gave him a very tight hug. "Wow…you really make me sound like a selfish crybaby, Vakarian." She shot him a wicked grin at that. "But thank you, because that's what I was being...sort of... and I DID need someone to help me REALLY see all the good in this. And damn it, you really can be quite deep sometimes." She then staged whispered "Don't worry...if anyone asks, I'll completely deny it." She then leaned up and gave him a very chaste peck on the cheek and said, sincerely "I love you, Garrus. You are a hell of a Turian, and an even better friend."

Garrus just sat still, and almost shell-shocked expression on his face at the kiss, and he began to stammer "Well..I….that is…someone has to watch your back. I mean, platonically watch. Of course. And I...am rather fond of you too, Shepard" He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head and then gave a hug back, albeit with slight unease, and then looked at her

"Alright, Grand Admiral. Lets get you out there. Give them a hell of a show. And if you keep your head down for a year or five, most people will start to forget you even exist. That's how it seems to work in life."

Shepard stood, straightening up her back, tilting her head up, and smiled, determined to do her part to build up one hell of a Spirit today. She could only just imagine the kind they'd "birth" at the private wedding a few weeks from now.

* * *

Holliandra had to still admit to herself that seeing the crowds of people surrounding the Temple, stretched out as far as the eye could see, to the veritable horizon, was…daunting, to put it lightly. Every possible seat, every conceivable surface that could hold people, every window in every building held faces peering out. Makeshift bleachers, temporary towers…everything that could be done to give just one more person a view with their own eyes of the event had been done.

And yet none of them, none of the countless throng out there, seemed to be watching the Reapers, still off in the distance, still silently, solemnly making repairs, making amends for the destruction they had wrought. Shepard's guts tensed, as she could feel herself boring holes with her gaze into them. How quickly everyone seemed to have been...forgiving, to allow their presence to drift into the background, to be no more than an afterthought, She was shocked out of her reverie as loud, orchestral and organ music began to play, signaling Liara's procession to the middle of the Temple, where the one Asari in the entire Galaxy who had converted to Buddhism, and was now serving as a Dzogchen Nun (the only religious figure both the Human and Asari diplomatic delegations could agree upon, in the end, to conduct the ceremony) stood waiting for them both.

Swallowing hard, and blinking back a tear or two, Shepard watched, her heart swelling with love and pride as her future bondmate strode slowly down the aisle. Liara was trying to keep from smiling too widely herself, and the pair locked eyes; for a moment, it was as if the world existed only for the two of them, of the two of them, entirely. Shepard had to admit to herself that it WAS rather strange to see her lover in a dress very similar to one that her mother wore. She found that she still had to suppress back a fresh wave of guilt and despair, remembering how she had been the one to put Benezia down…how she had been the one to bring Liara along on the landing party, ultimately to watch her mother die at her hand.

Without meaning to, her eyes started to drift, away from Liara's own, and over her shoulder, trailing over to the far horizon once again.

The Reapers…had they…had they stopped working, all of the sudden? Had they seemed to stand so still only a minute ago?

In the back of her mind, she could almost feel them, almost feel them watching…were they turning to regard them? WERE they watching? Watching them? Or perhaps more simply put…watching Liara?

_"Watching…HER?"_

Did they seem….wistful? Or was this all in her mind, her imagination running wildly away with her?

Shepard narrowed her eyes for a moment, trying to cast a glance away entirely from Liara, a dark, threatening expression reserved for her oldest enemies, so many miles away.

A strange, singular, angry thought rose unbidden from her mind, almost as if someone else was thinking it for her.

_ "Mine. She is mine! She is my heart and my soul, and you keep the hell away from her!"_

She almost jumped as Liara took her hands, the processional coming to a close. Liara glanced at her quizzically, a look of concern on her face.

Shepard quickly regained her former composure, and mouthed "I'm fine." Then punctuated it with a soft, glowing smile, increasing in brilliance as she fought to keep her eyes entirely on Liara, entirely on this moment…resisting the urge to keep them trained on the Reapers.

There would be so much more to focus her attention on, in the next couple of weeks to come. How her heart filled with such joy, as she repeated the vows, lost in Liara's eyes once more. But she knew in her heart that it would pale in comparison to what was to come. There would be a whirlwind of activity to follow: the diplomatic meetings, the "holding court" with various beings of influence, power, and sway. The adulation, the celebration, the throngs wanting to drink the moment in, wanting to send out their wishes of cheer or possibly even get a glimpse of or touch the happy couple.

There was so little of all of that, that Shepard could honestly remember, when she would look back upon this day in the years to come. In the end, the dominating vision in her mind... finally being allowed to take Liara in her arms as they were pronounced bonded, then daring to be bold and dipping her back low during a soulful kiss, before slowly bringing her back up to her feet, her bondmates cheeks flushing scarlet, but smiling radiantly all the same.

Shepard tried her best to hold on to the moment, to all her emotions, everything positive she was feeling, and then release it out mentally, where she could. She usually didn't buy into spirituality, into religion. Growing up on the streets, and living the military life had made her practical to a fault. And yet, she couldn't help but think that Garrus was on to something here. If everyone that was here in attendance, everyone watching elsewhere, everyone who would see the recordings, could be inspired and touched by the Spirit of what they saw, felt just a fraction of the love that Shepard and Liara had in their hearts for each other at this moment…then hopes for a new golden age of peace in the galaxy seemed more likely than ever.

Maybe it was a fools dream in the end…but it was a good one worth pursuing, all the same.


	10. From The Many, One

**A/N:** And whew. Finally. And what started as a "small lark" because I decided the story needed some more "happy juice" before diving in to darker waters turned into like half the story so far. Again, once again, I am going to call out **WordKrush** because THIS is the chapter were all of her ideas finally come into play at long last. I literally could not have come up with a better (or even nearly as good) wedding ceremony framework, and without that, I might have given up on the notion of doing wedding chapters entirely. And without that, no Daddy's Magic Sparkle Princess, so all you fans of THAT have her to thank as well. So again, much thanks and admiration to her!

Oh, and I said it for Sing Blue Silver and I'll say it here: Yes, I know Thessia in-cannon has no moons. I call bullshit on that. :-)

There is probably going to be a significant delay coming up in May...I am out on vacation for almost two weeks in the middle..which means either I will get SO MUCH WRITING done, or it will be a total time sink in that department.

Milestones that only mean something to people with autism such as myself: This is section ten. Neat! In my original draft, I figured the story would be done by this point. Of course, the individual chapters were going to be much bigger. Also, I think we went past the 60K mark, which makes this like a small novel. Makes me really appreciate the insanity of folks who produce these 500K+ word epic sagas! :-)

As Abraham Lincoln once said "Keep those reviews and critiques coming, lest the South crush us in battle, thus spawning some horrible rift in the very fabric of time and space itself from the resulting temporal paradox."

* * *

**W+23 (At Long Last!)**

Liara looked down at the beach, an eager, almost childlike expression on her face. The day, the one she and Holly had waited so patiently for was here at long last. She had just finished dressing in her bonding outfit for the ceremony, a red nylon bikini with yellow symbols intertwined upon it, and a short loose, paneled skirt of similar material, with tightly wound thin straps wrapped around her legs and forearms.

She watched from the tower penthouse, one of the highest points in the Great House of T'Soni-Dalesh, hands pressed up against the glass as she watched the marriage grounds being prepared; staff were laying out a staggering plethora of blossoms, in a wide range of colors and sizes. Two large, interlacing metal circles had been set into the beach sand, with torches planted in strategic locations to be lit as the marriage ritual itself was conducted in the late afternoon. Garlands of flowers which were to be handed out to all of the guests were being hauled out in large crates, as at least 300 guests were ultimately expected, possibly more. Other than the raised platforms for the musicians, it was a fairly simple, minimalist layout. Holly had compared the tropical scenery and traditions of Liara's home Republic to some of the sub-nations on Earth...places called Hawaii, Fiji, Aruba, and she had promised to take her to all of them, someday.

She couldn't help but hug herself as she continued watching; it was all so dreamlike, so perfect. It was cliche, but she had to admit that this was exactly the sort of wedding she would dream about as a young girl, the times she would allow herself to wonder who she would end up with as a bondmate. It was hers, and Shepherds, theirs to share only with those that they loved, admired, and respected and it was real and pure. There would be no political showiness, no pompous grandiosity, no cultural mishmash and expectations that were completely out of their control. She shivered from the pure, undiluted joy of it...

...then found herself suddenly shivering again as she felt lips press up against the small of her back, kisses trailing upwards, and settling into her shoulder as strong arms encircled her waist, soft breasts crushing gently against her back. She bit her bottom lip and reached up and behind just a bit, until her fingers caught hold of Shepard's hair, running through it, luxuriating in the feel, the locks having grown out just slightly past her shoulder now, her head twisting up just a bit as her mouth found her bondmates, sharing one of a long string of deep, passionate, hungry kisses that they had indulged in throughout the day.

Holly nibbled on her tongue for a bit, then on her bottom lip, nuzzling at her cheek and then starting to bite ever so tenderly at the more sensitive areas on her head ridges. It caused Liara to give just a tiny bit of a squeal, and start to laugh at the sensation, swooning at the touch. Shepard smiled against her skin and then murmured, throatily "Hey pretty Bluebird. We should totally have sex, I mean right now."

Liara continued laughing and turned around to address Shepard eye to eye...which prompted Holly to gently grab her wrists and lift them up over her head, pinning her back and arms against the glass of the window.

"You said that right before we got up, and we did. And then right before breakfast, and we did. And then we skipped lunch, and then we did again, during our swim. You are unbelievable sometimes, my love."

Shepard smirked, rather pleased with herself. Glancing at Liara, then outside through the window, then back to Liara...and gave her the wickedest smile the other woman had seen from her in her life.

"We should do it. Right here. In front of the window. Right up against it."

Liara blinked "H...Holly! Someone could see us!"

"What? We're 25 stories up. That's the fun part, it feels like we're being exhibitionists, but unless someone's a perv with binoculars, they can't REALLY see the details. Besides, I don't care right now, you're too yummy to resist, especially in that outfit. I held off putting on my lipstick just for this moment right now.

Liara had to admit that Shepard was rather glowing in her own, a similarly matching green bikini, panel skirt, and arm and leg cording. It was an almost perfect match for her eyes, which Liara had always felt was her best feature. Well, after her red hair of course. And...perhaps other things. But eyes most definitely being the third or at least fourth best feature that made up the Holliandra Shepard Collection. She had already applied most of her own makeup, blush, eyeliner, mascara...she rarely wore than lipstick most days, but Liara so enjoyed the effect that she made a mental note to try and get Shepard to do her face up more often

And it was exceedingly difficult to resist the temptation when Holly focused those "bedroom eyes" on her. Already she felt her leg snaking around the other womans, rubbing gently, despite herself, reaching up to run her fingers through crimson locks, meeting her kiss after increasingly deep kiss. Liara did finally find the strength to resist at last, however, and gave a wicked little smile of her own, managing to free her arms, very gently pushing her bondmate back. "Mmmmmm I'm starting to understand this Human tradition of keeping the couple apart right until the marriage rite is to be performed. Annnnd no. You...have...to wait. Until tonight."

Shepard blinked, stunned; it was a rare event indeed that her efforts at seduction failed to immediately elicit the intended results. While she had no particular problems with drawing things out for a bit, foreplay and the like, she was not used to the whole notion of delayed gratification, of bringing things to a long, slow simmer. Focusing her best puppy dog eyes and hangdog expression on the Asari, Shepard murmured "Oh baby...you aren't still punishing me for that kiss with Traynor, are you? Bad enough you made me sleep on the couch for two whole nights!"

Liara had intended to make it a week, but found she was unable to go much past a couple of nights in an empty bed by herself. Tracing a finger down Shepard's sternum, between her breasts, she smiled once more and murmured "No, no...I've forgiven you. Mostly. No, this is because late tonight, both of the moons are going to be high in the sky, and full. It only happens a few times a year on Thessia...and I want us to make love, underneath them, on the oceanside. And...oh..." she found herself running her fingers covetously over Holly's sides and hips, all the same. "If I make us both wait now...think how incredible it will finally be, after everything we'll be going through, today?"

Shepard paused for a moment, the notion marinating in her imagination for a few seconds. A grin widening on her lips, biting down on the bottom as she fought to pull herself back a bit. "Wow. Ohhhhhhkay. I'll go with it. Only because I'm passionately in love with you. BUT! You have to pay a price." She held up a couple of fingers against Liara's lips as the other woman started to inquire what, exactly. Pulling out a tube of lip color that was tucked against the waistband of her skirt, Shepard uncapped it, running it sensuously over her lip, just over the bottom one, then plumping her lips together to get an even coat of a deep, rich blood red between them both. She then gently tilted Liara's head up and to the side, guiding it with a mere fingertip under the Asari's chin, placing her mouth, lips slightly parted, over a particularly sensitive area of the other woman's neck; she pressed her lips hard, suckling just slightly, eliciting a squirming squeal from Liara, who was beginning to regret her desire to prolong their next coupling in the name of romance.

Holliandra pulled back, looking over her handiwork, the near perfect set of lip prints on Liara's neck now, in gleaming scarlet, nodding with an approval, a smirk twitching her mouth up, rubbing her chin in exaggerated observation. "Yeah. Yeah that will do just nicely. Remind everyone who you belong to." She then leaned in, patted Liara's bottom, and planted a very chaste kiss on her cheek, breathing out softly "Until we're under the twin full moons, then." She then began to apply a fresh coat of lipstick as she walked away, an exaggerated bump to her hips as she walked away, glancing over just briefly to Liara so she could appreciate the look on her face, the hunger in her eyes as she walked away.

_"Hmmmm...this teasing thing is fun! Wish I had given it a try sooner." _Shepard thought to herself, as she headed off to finish the rest of her preparations for later that day.

* * *

Shepard applied a generous layer of sunscreen to her exposed skin, slid her old aviator sunglasses from her N7 training days onto her face, and started to head off to the oceanside, where the ritual was to take place. She had to admit to herself...while she had certainly been happy with life like this before, she had never been some particularly...satisfied. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but everything about this day seemed to be going so splendidly, and it felt like it was merely the beginning of a whole line of splendid days in the future. She was deluding herself, of course, just a bit; she knew damn well that there would be ups and downs as time went by, some days far worse than others, tragedies and disappointments and complications in that hazy future time, but she didn't have any particular worries about life, that it wouldn't be anything other than ultimately wonderful going forward with Liara.

She passed through a large, open air deck, where tables were being set up for the reception feast following the bonding ceremony itself. The deck was smoothly polished wood, stained in different shades of blue and green, imitating the waters of the nearby ocean itself. Softly lit partition panels bordered the entirety of it, with a few openings to allow for traffic to flow in and out, maintaining an intriguing mix of open air accessibility with a sort of enclosed intimacy. The middle of the reception space featured a dance floor, made out of some sort of acrylic, and tinted red, with rough edges on the bottom to hold it in place.. Shepard couldn't help but walk across it in her bare feet, enjoying the sensation as she did.

She inhaled deeply, the scent of various blossoms, a mix of Earth and Thessian tropical varieties positively saturating the air, as they draped much of the tables and other fixtures that had been set up. She couldn't help but deftly snag one of the large purple blossoms, tucking the stem behind one ear, so that it decorated her already styled hair, then smiled as she approached some sort of "DJ table" that EDI was helping Joker set up, a bit off to the side of the dance floor.

"Jeff, hey...I didn't realize you were MCing the reception tonight?"

Joker was dressed in a long pair of surfer trunks, a mesh shirt, along with his SA duckbill cap, and a generous coating of sunblock whitening his nose. He smiled in return, and waved easily "Hey Shepard. Yeah...just something I convinced Garrus to let me take care of. Don't worry, I promise...it WILL go smoother than what went down at the Purgatory. Heh...but yeah, I used to DJ a lot of the official parties during my days at the flight academy. It was my way of participating in the festivities without having to...you know...really PARTICIPATE. And you don't think I picked up this sparkling personality simply to keep ships morale up, did you?"

EDI, who at this hour was positively painful to look at, her chromed figure reflecting so much of the sunlight back, chimed in, the only alterations to her current form was the reworking of her "hairstyle" into a more natural, multistranded "blown back" look, along with a wreath of flowers around her neck. "And I have gone through the entirety of Jeff's music collection, cataloguing them into an array of pleasing couplets and related thematic audio chains, organized by genre and beats per minute, ensuring that they fit for a variety of occasions and mood generation."

Joker chuckled softly and laughed, wrapping an arm around EDI and kissing her cheek firmly "That's my gal! You're certainly a LOT sexier than the analysis package I normally used for the job. Oh, and Admiral? When you're ready, just give the word at the reception, and we'll get that traditional 'first dance' going. Although I'm surprised you're willing to put yourself through that level of comedic humiliation...on the other hand, I'm not going to tell you not to!"

Shepard rolled her eyes and sighed, waving an arm away from the pair as she walked off. "Yeah, yeah...I COULD always surprise you, you know? I better get ready to lead the wedding procession...I'll see you both later. "Despite her bravado, Shepard had to admit that she WAS rather nervous about that. Her...sense of rhythm on the dance floor was legendary, and not in a good way. She swore she used to be a much better dancer, and then only realized that most of the time, back in her real 'party girl days', she was too drunk to notice the difference, and everyone else was too busy enjoying laughing at her to dissuade her from thinking otherwise.

Joker chuckled to himself as Shepard headed away from them. "Sure you could, and I might suddenly grow wings, too..."

* * *

"Well, you certainly LOOK like a member of a primitive species now, Admiral." was Javik's immediate greeting as Shepard made her way towards the gathering procession, that she and Liara were to lead when the ritual finally began. At the front were the various members of the Normandy crew who made up Shepard's extended "family". She rolled her eyes slightly and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Yeah, you too, Javik. I never thought, in my entire life, I would ever see a Prothean in jammie trunks.

"They are...loose, comfortable. Non-restrictive. Clearly this is the garment of a warrior prepared to engage in ritual combat at a moments notice."

"And don't forget flowery and festive, either." Ashley piped in. Unlike many of the other women who went with bikini outfits similar but less ornate that Shepard and Liara's, she was dressed in a pink and black one piece sleeveless bathing suit, that zipped up from the crotch to the neck, with the zipper pulled down just slightly below the swell of her breasts. She walked arm in arm with James, who sported an almost perfectly matching set of trunks to the pair Javik had on, but with the addition of "classic" Ray-Ban type sunglasses, and was already sporting a garland of flowers around his neck. It seemed he had taken advantage of his time on Thessia to bronze nicely, and Ashley was certainly enjoying the effect, given how close to his side she clung as they walked along.

Shepard smiled to herself as she appraised the a few of the other members from the rest of the group, as they approached behind the others...it seemed Cortez was making up for lost time, having snagged a blond male with whom she was previously unfamiliar, assumedly as his date. And then there was Traynor, walking arm in arm while having an animated discussion with an Asari...whom she DID recognize. Cosira, one of the two sister Eclipse Commados who did dirty work for Aethyta. It suddenly occurred to her that yes, she HAD technically extended an invitation to the woman...she just hoped Samantha knew what she was potentially getting herself into. Finally, Garrus was bringing up the rear, hand in hand with Tali, who had changed the drapings around her environmental suit to a much more tropical and festive patterned theme; Garrus himself, however, was dressed in what Shepard could only describe as the Turian equivalent of a small Speedo; it was a little embarrassing to look over in his direction, although she had to admit that if she were into men, she would have found his sinewy frame, hidden behind armor as it was the majority of the time, curiously intriguing.

* * *

The sun was past its zenith in the sky, well into the afternoon, but with a good two hours at least left until sunset, due to the local springtime, and the more tropical location on Thessia itself. It had only been a few short weeks since Janiris had occurred, the traditional start of the Asari New Year, a celebration of life and renewal in the Spring. It seemed only fitting then that the wedding take place not long after, not only as a marker of new beginnings in the life of two women, but also a celebration of renewal for Thessia and the Galaxy itself, as it struggled to climb out of the ashes of war.

Liara and Shepard walked silently, hand in hand, smiling conspiratorially every so often at each other, as they lead the assembled guests on the path from the local spaceport, through the cleared jungle path, and out onto the beach itself. As the ritual was heavily influenced by a blend of Siari practices and old Athame traditions, there were a few temple maidens placed at key positions to help the event along. First and foremost of the duties were placing flower garlands over the necks of those willing to wear them. Second, wooden ceremonial chalices were handed out to each of the guests, and as they made their final approach towards the ocean and the metal circles, they had to pass by large, fresh water fountains, dipping the small cups of the chalices in and filling them up.

As the procession continued on, it would pass by the ocean itself, and guests were instructed to pour the water from the chalice back into the sea itself; it was a symbolic representation of the Siari belief that all life in the galaxy is inherently one, separating and joining together through cycles of life and death Shepard and Liara began the rite, pouring their cups together, in such a way that the falling water joined into one stream first, before falling into the ocean. They then were followed up by the members of their Triune, Tali and Aethyta, who would stand with Liara, and Garrus and Ashley doing the same for Shepard. As they all took their places on the sand itself, inside the joined rings, wedding guests moved to slowly pour their chalices out into the sea, before taking a seat.

As the procession moved through the motions of the ritual, which lasted for the better part of 45 minutes, a traditional Asari minstrel group, playing on harps, drums and woodwinds, performed ancient ballads attributed to Pania, an ancient Asari legend whose music was said to have so moved the Goddess Athame herself that she granted the woman her heart's desire. Pania was particularly important in the Armali Republic, as she was revered as it's first ruling Archon.

When at last, all of the guests were properly seated, the music came to a slow stop, and a Matriarch representing the Temple of Athame, (whom Shepard recalled as someone named Hefraya) stepped forth in front of the joined rings, to address the crowd.

"Welcome, loved ones, friends and family all. Welcome to the bearing of witness of this sacred union. Know that it is not my words as a Priestess of Athame that blesses the joining of these two hearts today, but instead it is your presence, your love, your devotion and fellow-feeling for the couple that so ordains it."

She began to walk back, until finally standing in the small area where the two circles merged, just slightly between Liara and Shepard, and continued "Our beliefs hold that all of us, all life, is simply one small piece of a great Universal Energy, that our mortal bodies are filled with and animated by this awesome power. And often in life, we come across those who by means of friendship, or by love, or both, we recognize as "soul mates"...one or more pieces of the energy of the Universe that we recognize from before, having been joined especially close from the source. And when two or more of these "fragments" find themselves once more in Life, we come together to celebrate and take great cheer in the wonder and bliss this brings.

Hefraya looked to Shepard, and asked, in practiced fashion "Have you brought the two others, who will attend to your side and bear witness to your union, Holliandra Shepard?"

"I have, and call them to join me now." She turned and looked over to both Garrus and Ashley; though the 'dress code' for guests in attendance was very casual, both of them had donned loose terry robes, signifying their status as close friends or family members who would stand by Shepard's side. Three was the traditional number, the bonded-to-be and their two witnesses, signifying the three stages of Asari life. The pair slowed walked over, and stood at Shepard's side, slightly behind her, forming something of a triangle.

"And who are you, who bear witness for Holliandra this day?" Hefraya asked of them.

"Garrus Vakarian, honored friend, brother-in-arms, and general saver of Shepard's ass.". He smiled at the last part...the ritual allowed for a significant amount of flexibility in this part of the ceremony, and Garrus just couldn't resist.

"Ashley Williams, honored friend, fellow Specter, and still a way better dancer."

She and Garrus exchanged knowing looks at this.

Pausing a quirking up a brow slightly at the somewhat humorous notes the affirmations took, Hefreya then turned to Liara, and asked: "Have you brought the two others, who will attend to your side and bear witness to your union, Liara T'Soni?"

"I have, and call them to join me now." She smiled warmly as her Father stepped up, who looked absolutely fit to burst with pride, as well as Tali, who was having a little trouble, unused as she was to walking on sand.

"And who are you, who bear witness for Liara this day?" the question was asked once again.

"Aethyta, Matriarch, traveller...and damn proud Dad." she reached out for a moment, squeezing Liara's shoulder with affection.

"Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, Admiral, engineer, and..." she sniffled for a moment, giving a sudden sob "Getting tears in my air filter...". Liara turned to her and the two gave each other an emotional embrace, before they settled into their positions.

Hefreya turned to the audience and raising her voice, said "Liara and Holliandra have chosen to speak their own vows. Let us all bear witness on this moment then, as they declare their love for and pledge themselves to each other." She then turned to Liara and nodded, indicating she should go first.

Liara looked to Shepard, reaching out to take her hands, looking up into her eyes, and spoke her vows. "Holliandra Shepard...I loved you from the moment I first saw you on Therum, a vision of a warrior maiden who swept in to rescue me at my dark hour. In the first days and weeks aboard the Normandy, I simply passed it off as the infatuation of a girl grateful to the one who had saved her from certain doom. But as I studied your service records, and then as I witnessed you, how you acted, how you lived your life, as a Leader, a Warrior, A Confidant, A Surrogate Mother, all these and the many other roles you played...as I saw you exalt in the triumphs, great and small, not only for yourself, but for those you led, and as I saw you grapple, silently and alone you must have thought, with your failures and defeats, I realized that I was right all along; I did love you from the moment I saw you...I simply needed time to fully understand why. When I came to you, that night before Ilos, my heart hung heavy with hope and trepidation, that you would take me, as my first love, that you would love me even half as much as I loved you. And my heart soared with such joy in that first melding, as our souls touched, and we had once again found each other, at long last."

She paused, then reached up, stroking Holly's face, tracing the strands of hair, and the petals of the purple bloom tucked behind the ear, waving in the constant, gentle breeze whipping off the ocean. There was so much more that she could say, wish that she had chosen to say...but she might be here all night, speaking of her love, otherwise." She then continued. "I am for you, Holliandra, as I always have been and always shall be. Join with me now, and let us not be apart again until we return once more unto the Universe itself.

Shepard swallowed hard, blinking back a tear, trying to remember her vows, her smile widening right before she began to speak "Liara T'Soni...I loved you from the moment I first saw you on Therum, a woman who had moved on and out from the heavy shadow that her Mother cast, to dedicate her life to a goal that had driven her since childhood. Unaccustomed as you were to social niceties, I watched you work hard to fit in, determined to catch my eye, not knowing the whole time that you already had it...that I was already drawn in by your honesty, your idealism, your compassion, your kind heart and razor sharp intellect. You came to me at a time when the Universe had begun to truly put me to the test; when I doubted myself, you were there to uplift me. When I was in agony, you calmed and soothed me. You waited patiently in the wings for me to realize a love that I myself had not fully embraced or even realized until Ilos. And that night we first melded, I did finally recognize you: the piece of myself that I had been searching for my entire life.

Shepard reached out, inspired to mirror what Liara had done, tracing her fingertips over her cheek and the ridges of her head, smiling brightly as Liara tried her best to keep from squirming as the more sensitive areas were touched. There was so much more she felt she should have said, the least of which was her role in bringing her back from the brink of death...but the person who might need to hear it the most was the one standing before her, and she already knew, deep in her heart, how Shepard felt.

"I am for you, Liara, as I always have been and always shall be. Join with me now, and let us not be apart again until we return once more unto the Universe itself."

They more immediately fell into each other than simply embraced, and instinctive reaction, as they kissed, hands slowly wandering over backs, hips and rears. Once again, as they had been so many times leading up to this moment, they were completely lost in each other, in a world that existed only for them. They broke, long enough to catch their breaths...and as Shepard started to cover Liara's cheeks in small kisses, she felt small objects suddenly landing gently on her, as if from above.

Opening one eye, she noticed a cloud of rice quickly descending upon the pair of them, and was completely confused. She quickly discerned that it had been Ashley who had lobbed several handfuls their way, the look on the Lieutenant Commander's face turning from jubilance to confusion.

"Holly...why is Ashley pelting us with what appears to be one of your native grains?"

Shepard tried to choke back her laughter for a moment, as she turned her head slightly to regard her fellow Terran. "Well...I appreciate the sentiment at any rate, Ash."

Ashley blushed furiously, then began to growl, half-livid to Garrus and Tali. "OH! MY GOD! Seriously guys? I thought we were on the SAME PAGE about this? Hello? We WERE all going to throw rice at the same time, right?"

Garrus just stared at her, blinking once, taking a good five seconds before responding "Oh. You were serious, then?"

Ashley's jaw dropped "Yes! Of course I was serious! Why did you think I went to all the trouble of mailing you both multiple times about it?"

Tali interjected "Assaulting the couple with uncooked food? Honestly, Williams, I have to agree with Garrus. I also thought you were simply putting us on."

Before anything more could be said, the three of them noticed that Liara had closed her eyes, looking down slightly, and concentrating, invoking one of the final parts of the ceremony. A nimbus of blue biotic effect surrounded her body, as a barrier shield grew, starting to envelop simply the couple at first, and then stopped as it encapsulated the other four nearest to them.

Aethyta herself then dropped her head, holding her arms out slightly, allowing her own biotic shield to expand out, overtaking Liara's effect, as if an embrace of a parent for her daughter.

Over the course of the next few minutes, other Asari ventured out from the assembled crowd, slowly forming a circle around the couple and the attending guests, and as Liara and Aeythta had done before, began to form and expand out biotic shields, overlapping and feeding off and into each other, like so many soap bubbles, not only harmlessly encompassing the couple, but the many assembled non-Asari witnesses as well. Shepard, holding Liara in her arms in the center, glanced out, and was moved to discover that it seemed every Asari had joined in for this...even Aria and Cosira, even Asari with whom she had never met, but had been relations of Liara or her Father and had come to bear witness.

There were murmurs in the crowd...whispers of concern at first, as most of the non-Asari in attendance were unaware of this last ritual, the symbolic union of the happy couple, as blessed and affirmed by other Asari in the community. Once the initial shock had worn off, many of what few other biotics who were in attendance rose, and walked into position to join their power to the others: Mostly humans, follow by Krogans, with a light smattering of Turian, and even one or two Salarians. Javik himself had also joined in, providing a bubble for the Normandy members closest to him.

Shepard looked up and around in wonder, blinking back even more tears that surged fresh in her eyes, at the overlapping fields and bubbles that enveloped all of them, the entire wedding party, all of the guests...everyone that had come for this event. Like countless enfolding embraces, bringing peace and protection; a tangible, physical symbol of the community blessing the union. She had never felt safer or more connected to others, so outside of her own self, before in her life.

The fields scintillated and coruscated back and forth, little bolts of energy sizzling between the seams - it was truly one of the most breathtaking sights that Shepard had seen in her life. And it was also the moment she realized that in her heart, she belonged not only to Liara, but to Thessia and the Asari people as well. To be sure, she had fought for Earth, down to the very last, given it her all, shown it all the loyalty that her birthplace could possibly ask and expect from her. But in the end, it was merely the place she was born, the place she had worked so hard to leave, and had only come back to when it needed her most.

It was not where she wanted to build the rest of her life.

The overlapping field was held in place for a good ten minutes, before it was slowly released, like a soft contented sigh offered up on the night breeze. Dusk had finally come to the beach, and torches and lamps began to light a path to the reception area, where the celebration awaited one and all.

* * *

With the reception feast in full swing, Shepard had to admit that, her childish jokes to Traynor aside, the seafood on Thessia was absolutely amazing, and had never been so glad to be lacking a shellfish allergy. She had been working on some sort of crustacean which vaguely resembled a lobster, only far more flavorful. Liara had also been popping occasional bites some sort of oyster-like meat, smokey and sweet in flavor, into her mouth, which went well with the ice wine they were sharing, their arms interlocked as they took sips. It was so easy for them at the moment to tune out the party going on around them, and see only each other in the entirety of the world.

Their reverie was suddenly, gently shattered by Ashley taking her wine glass, and clinking it with her knife. She softly elbowed Vega in the gut to do likewise, and glared, albeit smilingly, at other human military members sitting near her table into compliance. She'd be damned if she had a repeat of the "rice incident" again, and seem inordinately pleased as the effect slowly rippled through the other humans in attendance.

Shepard rolled her eyes, sighing lightly, but nodding to Ashley in understanding, and then suddenly tilted Liara's face to her own, kissing her tenderly on the lips, catching a taste of the shrimp that her bondmate had been chewing on at that moment.

Swallowing, Liara gave a light laugh, having been caught off-guard "Another Earth wedding tradition, then?"

Shephard nodded, and murmured "Yes. And knowing Ashley, she's going to be particularly annoying about it. I hope you enjoyed what you've had a chance to eat so far, because we're going to be doing a lot of kissing for the rest of the meal."

Liara started to laugh lightly "Oh. No. How terrible. Well, I suppose I am willing to suffer through your people's cruel and barbaric traditions for the sake of our marriage." She then leaned in to kiss Shepard once more, as the clinking started up anew.

To her credit, Ashley was not wholly alone in carrying out repeated glass-clinks...it seemed she had encouraged enough of the others in attendance to do her dirty work for her, and hardly a minute or two went by without at least one person tapping their champagne flute loudly, for a good fifteen or twenty minutes.

Ashley and the others had the good sense, it would seem, to at least cool it once the dessert course had begun, as buffet tables filled with all sorts of fruits, cakes, custards, and other sweets were rolled in. Shepard had also insisted on an exceedingly large chocolate fountain to accompany everything, and Liara, having developed her own fondness for it, had gladly consented, busying herself with mixing and matching various combinations of Asari, Human, and even Salarian treats on her plate.

Again, she and Shepard took turns feeding each other, in slow and languid fashion. She particularly enjoyed the dish that Traynor had recommended, fried dough balls served in a syrupy mixture of rosewater and honey, and couldn't resist pulling Holly to her for a rather deep kiss, sharing the flavor between them. Holding her bondmates face in her hands, the two were completely lost in the other eyes, Holly's hand on her knee under the table. It was a perfect moment in time, one she wished would never end. A gasp caught in her throat as she realized she had nearly initiated a melding right then and there, at the table, in front of everyone, and she turned away slightly, a bright blush shining on her cheeks. Shepard laughed very lightly and murmured "Soon enough, Bluebird."

Shepard caught Jokers eye, waving over to him and nodding once. He seemed to catch the drift quickly putting down the plate of cake he was working on, quickly swallowed while wiping off his mouth, and nodded back, touching the mike control at his ear as he cleared his throat:

"Hey there folks, this is The Gentleman Joker and the Notorious E.D.I. coming back at'cha. We all hope you're enjoying yourself on this happiest of happy occasions...but now is the time where we'd like to kick off the evenings dancing and general debauchery by inviting the happy couple to the floor...for the traditional "First Dance." I'm sure we'll all enjoy the Admirals...unique style.

The pair rose, and walked hand in hand toward the floor, cheers and clapping greeting them as they did. Shephard murmured to Liara "Well...wait until they see what we've got in store for them. Ready?" Liara nodded in response.

Holly signaled to Joker with another nod, and he punched a button on his console; one of the newer renditions, done by a female vocalist, of an old Frank Sinatra ballad began to play.

_"When an irresistible force such as you"_

Liara turned to regard Shepard, smiling warmly in expectation.

_"Meets an old immovable object like me"_

Shepard struck a rather sultry pose, and slithered forward with her arm, a hand now held out to Liara, who gladly accepted it.

_"You can bet just as sure as you live"_

Shepard pulled her bondmate close, settling into a close dancing position, Hollys right hand taking the "lead position", the other drifting down to rest on Liaras hip.

_"Somethin's gotta give_  
_Somethin's gotta give_  
_Somethin's gotta give"_

Liara was twirled, once, twice, three times, before Shepard comfortably, commandingly twirled her back into her arms, then dipped her low and swept her across in a semi-circle before lifting her back up. She tried to keep from laughing with glee, swept up in the moment.

Ashley's jaw dropped, dumbstruck as her mind refused to process the scene before her: Shepard competently swing dancing with Liara. Oh sure, some of her movements were a tiny bit unpolished, but for the most part, she was surprisingly skillful.

"Are you...are you guys watching this? Am I actually SEEING this? For real?"

"You mean Liara dancing with Shepard? Oh yes..." Traynor breathed out. "Lucky, lucky woman".

The rest of the group at the table exchanged equally incredulous looks and observations, save for Garrus; the Turian looked inordinately pleased with himself.

"Alright. Confess. It's obvious you're dying to tell us at this point." Tali said, with a note of humor in her voice, her arms wrapping tightly around Garrus'

"Oh. I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like I spent three solid weeks in secret teaching those two how to properly dance." He paused a beat. "Oh well, only because you dragged it out of me. That's exactly what happened."

"And here I was, convinced we were witnessing the final, indisputable evidence of Gods existence." Miranda exclaimed, before turning to Garrus. "All this in ONLY three weeks?"

"Oh...you know, the first nine days were the hardest. Poor Liara had her feet stepped on so many times, I was sure she was going to demand to stop. But she soldiered on, and wouldn't you know it... the Admiral CAN be trained."

"Nope. Sorry. I don't buy it. I think it's much more realistic to assume that this is yet another of Lola's clones running around, this one trained only to dance, and nothing else." James chimed in.

"I've been told I can work miracles, Mr. Vega. Why, I might even get YOU dancing with some actual grace and panache."

"Uhhh...yeah Garrus, I was BORN with the soul of a dancer. There's nothing you can teach me. Right babe?" James looked down to Ashley...who shrugged slightly, with and with a sheepish expression, patted Vega on the arm."

"Yeah, maybe you let nice Mr. Vakarian show you a thing or two sometime."

_"Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight it with all of our might"_

Shepard boogied a bit, transitioning from a bit of a foxtrot to more of a jitterbug, guiding Liara firmly along by the hand,

_"Chances are some heavenly star-spangled night"_

Pulling Liara close now, they danced cheek to cheek. Shepard ran her other hand up Liara's leg, guiding up it and around her, as she spun her down low once more.

Tali leaned up to Garrus and murmured "You realize, of course...you are going to be taking me out dancing? A lot."

Garrus smiled widely, pulling Tali close against his side, in response.

_"We'll find out just as sure as we live_  
_Somethin's gotta give_  
_Somethin's gotta give_  
_Somethin's gotta give"_

They spun around together, three times once again, before Shepard dipped Liara down, one last time, seizing her mouth in a kiss as she pulled her back up. They rested their foreheads against each other, smiling, their lips still touching, as the room broke out in loud applause.

"I think your Dad mentioned something about wanting the next dance." Shepard murmured softly.

"She can wait...just a little bit longer" Liara replied, looking up a bit to her love, and hugs her close once more.

It took Joker a moment to realize he needed to pipe up, finally speaking "Alright...everybody. The T'Soni-Shepard couple! Possibly a version from a parallel dimension that have mysteriously snuck into this wedding, we'll check on that and get back to you later." He snapped off his mike, and then snapped it back on a few seconds later "Oh oh..I almost forgot...before we get down with the dancing, proper...Admiral? I think now is the right time for that last tradition? You know the one..."

Shepard smiled and nodded, leading Liara over to a single chair that EDI had run over to place in the middle of the dance floor.

"Alright, is THIS the reason why you has me wear this...ridiculous thing...on my thigh?"

"Called a garter, sweetie. And...yessss." Shepard rubbed her hands for a moment, like a child about to receive her presents on Christmas morning.

Liara heaved a heavy breath, but smiled all the same, as she sat down on the chair. It was only at that moment the Shepard fully realized how perhaps this tradition didn't work as well with the miniskirt length dresses they were wearing. Still, she slowly, gently worked her hands up Liara's leg, as if giving her a very light massage.

There were cheers and whoops, mostly from the male portion of the audience, although more than a few Asari joined in as well, as Shepard reached underneath the skirt, unable to keep herself from tracing her fingertips very high up the inner thigh for as long as she could reasonably get away with it - Liara struggling to keep from squirming in response- and began to slide off a lacy white garter from her bondmates leg. She paused for a moment, giving the other woman a meaningful look, as she rose to her feet, garter in hand.

Shepard leaned in, whispering "You aren't wearing any underwear!"

"Oh, and I suppose you ARE?" came Liaras eager reply.

"Not for long." Shepard concluded, carelessly tossing the garter over her shoulder, into the crowd, not knowing or caring who managed to finally catch it. Although she would later discover that it had been Cosira, who, in a surprisingly touching gesture, gave it to Traynor the next morning as a keepsake.

Finally, the assembled crowds came up, offering further congratulations to the happy couple, others beginning to take the dance floor, as Joker opened up the evenings entertainment with a popular Asari nightclub song from the previous year.

Merrymaking, dancing and revelry went on well into the wee hours of the night, with both Shepard and Liara being pulled into dance after dance, with everyone from Aria to Primarch Victus, and even Bailey. Miranda and Ashley forced the rest of the Normandy women into a somewhat elaborate line dance at one point, even poor Doctor Chakwas, who to her credit, was able to keep up with the younger crew members.

Around 3:30 in the local morning, Liara and Shepard found themselves wrapped in each others arms, off in a dark corner of the compound grounds, trading very soft, slow kisses, tender nuzzles, and meaningful gazes. Liara looked out, into the night sky, seeing the moons high in the sky, then looked back to her love, smiling her silent gratitude. Without a word she slipped off towards the beach, her slow trot turning into a bolting run. Shepard started to chase after her, and soon they were both laughing like small children, as they were enveloped by the night.

Liara was true to her word; what happened afterwards was definitely worth the wait.


	11. Turn The Dark Page

**A/N: **Hi kids. Whew. So...this was another chapter I hadn't originally planned on writing, but enjoyed doing so all the same. **Theodur** and I had done a bunch of brainstorming recently, about the nature of Asari reproduction, their past, the nature of the Ardat-Yakshi, and whatnot, and I simply couldn't bring myself NOT to do something with all the ideas and concepts we came up with. So, if elements of this story resemble some of what he's doing right now in Rhapsody in Blue, well...now you know why. We're both taking ideas we came up with and putting a bit of our own spin on them. And for the record, I happen to love what he's doing on his end with it. :-)

Okay two things:

First, I'm sure I've beaten this horse to death by now, but completists interested in reading about the actual conception should go and check out my one-shot, Sing Blue Silver. It gets referenced a few times here in this installment.

Second, and I'm sorry we live in a world where it seems I have to bring this up, but as this particular installment deals with abortion (which makes good chunks of the populace lose their god damn minds, at least in the United States), and the Asari relationship to it...please please PLEASE do not take any of what happens in this story as me projecting some sort of political agenda into the issue. It's merely based on a lot of brainstorming and ideas we came up with as to how the Asari might realistically view the practice. I'm sure plenty of other readers and writers out there in the FF-a-verse feel differently and could make excellent cases to support it. (Do feel free to PM me your ideas, I love hearing other peoples perspectives on this stuff! :-)

I shouldn't have to bring this up, but since I'm afraid someone's going to ask, I personally happen to be pretty stridently pro-choice.

Anyhow, enough of the heavy shit. Enjoy the chapter! And as always, keep those reviews, follows, critiques, love letters, mutual defense pacts and offers of marriage coming. They're all that keep the Reapers from reverting back to their genocidal ways! ;-)

* * *

**2187 CE**

Shepard sat on the couch in the living room of the penthouse condo she shared with Liara in Amastral, the capital city of the Armali Republic. Her fists were steepled together, forehead resting on the knuckles, elbows on knees, almost as if in some sort of prayer. It had been four hours, give or take, since Liara had fainted, and at least an hour since the Doctor had been in to fully examine and evaluate her condition. Aethyta was also in the room sitting next to her, rubbing her back on occasion, attempting to be soothing in ways that Shepard would not have guessed the otherwise gruff Matriarch to be capable of.

"Kid, she's gonna be fine." she said, in a light, slightly warbling voice "I know my daughter...she's strong. She knew she was ready...it's...just a matter of the rest of her catching up. You'll see. It's going to be great...in the end. You're going to be a fantastic Father."

She tried to smile encouragingly to Shepard, but it fell flat, just a bit, as Holliandra silently gave only a half nod; while initially elated at Liara's pregnancy, despite the rather intense circumstances of the conception, a seed of worry began to gnaw at her gut as Liara's health declined over the next three months. At first, it happened in only the smallest of ways; shortness of breath, slightly pale complexion, but it began to manifest itself in a more alarming fashion as the weeks went by: An near-constant hunger for food, needing more and more sleep. It had been Dr. Chakwas who had initially encouraged Shepard to contact Liara's family doctor; while Karin herself was unwilling to make an actual diagnosis simply over the comm, she stated she had a relatively good idea what might be going on, and that the sooner action was taken, the better. Liara had insisted that everything was alright, that certainly, she was going through a more challenging "transition period" due to her youth...but she didn't want to cause a fuss. Then she promptly passed out.

Shepard's military training kicked in, nearly suppressing all emotion at that point, the anger, the sheer terror, as she gathered Liara up, impassively contacted Liara's doctor on the comm, and then sent a message to Aethyta. She refused to leave Liara's side in their bedroom until the Doctor finally arrived, and shooed her away gently.

Doctor Jefela V'Lork had been a medical practitioner for slightly more than 500 years, and had attended to various T'Soni daughters for just over half that time. She walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her, with an impassive but not unkind expression on her face; a practiced visage borne of many years of professionalism.

Speaking softly, she began "I must commend your Doctor Chakwas, Admiral Shepard. She took the liberty of sending me a note regarding her concerns with Liara's health after you last spoke to her, so I was not surprised when the call came in. I was, however, dismayed that Liara took it to this level before she let me see her but...she was always a stubborn child." She let herself crack just a tiny smile, but then stopped short, as she glanced over towards Aethyta.

"Matriarch" she intoned, in a voice heavy with ice, and the intimation of a long back history with the other woman.

Aethyta simply narrowed her eyes for a moment, then smiled tightly "Jefela. I'm glad to hear my daughter is alright.. She...IS alright, yes?" Said almost as a threat, as opposed to a question.

The doctor, to her credit, seemed completely unphased, drawing the moment out as she checked and rechecked her bag, and said "She is out of danger for the moment. But...much work will need to be done to keep her safe. I believe you already suspect, that this is not going to be an...easy..pregnancy. Nor a perfectly safe birth." This said as she looked straight at Shepard.

Holliandra slowly began to emerge from her shell, allowing the waves of relief to wash away the protective barrier she had spun over herself, letting out the breath it felt like she had been holding for hours. "Th..thank you. Doctor. And please, it's Mrs. now. I'm just a civilian these days. Holly...that works too."

Doctor V'Lork chuckled softly to herself and said "Mrs. Shepard...Holly...you are many things, but a "mere civilian" is low on the list.". She paused, for a moment, then fixed a steely gaze upon the other Asari. "But...that always was the problem with you, wasn't it Aethyta?" Holly wasn't sure, but she thought she saw a look of regret pass over the doctor's face the moment the words escaped her lips.

Shepard felt quizzical confusion, then tension as Aethyta rose to her feet, attempting to smother a look of pure fury from her features. Whatever history these two shared, she damn well knew what bad blood smelled like.

Aethyta appeared to be exerting a herculean effort to keep from storming swiftly up in front of the other Asari's face, keeping her voice frighteningly calm, yet speaking through gritted teeth. "This isn't a...subject for appropriate discussion, Jefela." putting scornful emphasis on the name. "Not in front of my...poor, suffering Daughter-in-Law."

Glancing over at Shepard, and then back, Doctor V'Lork paused for a moment, reaching up to rub her eyes and the bridge of her nose with the palm of her hand, as if making a calculated decision...then finally responded, seemingly unphased by Aethyta's barely contained anger. "I disagree. I think the past is highly pertinent to this situation. But before we continue another second with this grandstanding, please allow me to reassure Mrs. Shepard..." turning now to look only at Holly, walking over to her, as if Aethyta was completely even gently reached out, holding Shepard's arms in a reassuring fashion "Liara is fine for the moment. She is suffering from..._keppakefex_. It is an Asari condition not uncommon in Maidens who transition to Matron at such a...young age." Aethyta looked away for a moment as Jefela continued speaking.

"While I'm certain that in every mental measure, Liara completely accepts and embraces her pregnancy...that still doesn't change the fact that her body is now trying to compression over a century of what are normally gradual biological changes and preparation into the remaining nine months of gestation." She closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a soft sigh. "There are good reasons why the Thessia Obstetrics Board strongly recommends a minimum age of 200 to 250 years before the first reproductive mating. It seemed her voice rose just a touch at that last bit, the Doctors eyes darting to the side, as if trying to look at Aethyta from behind.

Unable to contain herself further, Aethyta quickly crossed the short distance between them, and grabbed the Doctor by the arm, turning her around to face her. "You're never going to fucking give up on this, are you?! You think I wanted Tevala to...you think I told her to...?" She suddenly pulled back, booming "It wasn't my fault! If *YOU* had done your fucking job PROPERLY, it would have been fine. Don't push this onto me! Maybe the Board didn't take action, but I KNOW it was your fault! Liara made the decision all on her own this time, just like Tevvie did back then!"

To her credit, Jefela stood her ground, calmly and without fear. She looked up to the older Asari, as if expecting the worst to occur. But before things could escalate, Shepard spoke up, suddenly barking out the name "Aethyta!"

"Aethyta" she repeated calmer the second time "I don't give a goddamn fuck as to what sort of history you both have. But right now? I NEED the Doctor to tell me what's going to happen, what I need...what WE need to do, to make sure Liara is going to be alright. That our DAUGHTER is going to be okay. And that can't happen if you come to blows."

"Stay out of this, Shepard! This doesn't concern you...this is between me and her!"

"Right now, it sure as hell DOES concern me." She reached over, slowly disengaging Aethyta's hand from the Doctors arm, and rising up to meet the Matriarch dead on in the eyes. The two seemed to lock wills, and it became quickly apparent to Holly that she needed to shut this down, hard and fast, before it got out of hand.

"I need you to go take a walk, Aethyta. Right now. You walk out, and you give it a good hour before you come back. Because that door is going to be locked until then." The point was punctuated by Shepard thrusting two fingers towards the front door. It was her "scary voice". The one she used when she really needed to discipline someone under her command, back in the military days. Some people barked out loud and screamed. She found that a complete lack of that tended to be far unnerving, and thus effective.

Aethyta yanked her arm back out of Shepard's grip...seemed to calculate the risk vs. the benefit of continuing the fight, then finally backed down, however reluctantly. She started to make a beeline for a door, only pausing to turn, and stab an accusing finger towards Jefela. "Whatever she tells you, there's a whole HELL of a lot more to it than that! If I were you kid, I'd get yourself a real Doctor, and not this fucking quack!" And with that, she exited into the hallway of the living complex, nearly smashing the "close door" button to pieces with her fist as she walked out into the night.

Doctor V'Lork relaxed, just a bit, taking a deep breath, and after half a minute, said "Thank you Adm...Holly. And I apologize. Not only for her, but for myself. It seems I am letting old wounds of the past interfere with my professionalism...and that does you a disservice, as well as Liara, and a discredit to my conduct."

Holly shook her head "Don't worry about it. Doctor Chakwas seemed to have nothing but the highest regard for you when we spoke, and her word is absolutely golden with me." She paused for a moment, glancing down at the floor, and then back up "Can I get you something? Tea maybe?"

The doctor nodded "Please...perhaps with just a touch of brandy in it? And yes, she...we've only met once or twice, really only know each other through reputation, but she knows a startling amount about Asari physiology and ailments for a Human doctor"

Shepard smiled slightly and nodded "Yeah, I could use a strong drink myself. How about I just skip the tea entirely then?" Heading into the spacious kitchen, Holly opened up the liquor cabinet, extracting a bottle of what she had been told at her wedding was a particularly excellent vintage of Armali pomice brandy, uncorked it and poured our two small glasses. She then carried them back into the living room, handing one to the other woman, then toasted informally, and downed half the glass in one gulp, wincing just slightly at the strength.

Nodding in thanks, and taking a much more judicious sip by comparison, Doctor V'Lork motioned over to the couch and said "Come...we should sit." Once Shepard had joined her, she continued. "_Keppakefex_. I suppose it is...most similar to a Human condition called preeclampsia, although they are not precisely analogous to each other. As I mentioned before, Liara's body is undergoing enormous strain trying to "catch up". The...the good news is that any subsequent children you may decide to have...those pregnancies will be much easier, possibly even completely normal, depending on how well this one goes. But this...this is not a particularly safe or easy time for her."

Shepard wasn't familiar with the human condition that Jefela had mentioned either, but simply nodded. She figured she could have Karin explain it for her later on.

"Normally, if you were a couple living off-world, I would recommend that you immediately return to Thessia, and continue with the pregnancy in a native, eezo-rich environ. But as you conceived here, and have left but for a handful of times, according to what Liara told me, you should be absolutely fine on that account. Still...I'm going to prescribe special supplements, essentially a compound of eezo mixed in with a variety of nutritional supplements and botanical extracts, all of which should help her. Her body is burning a LOT of energy at the moment, which is why she is eating all the time. The supplements are very concentrated in terms of caloric energy, delivering what her body is specifically craving in a much more efficient manner, and should allow her nervous and vascular systems to more easily adapt"

She swirled the liquor in her glass for a moment, letting it breathe. "This is excellent by the way. From about 120 years ago, if I'm not mistaken, a renowned vintage." She then continued. "Liara is going to need a lot of bed rest. She is going to have issues with high blood pressure, among other physical ailments. So stressful situations MUST be kept to a minimum. I know Liara probably burns her professional candle at both ends, as you Humans often say, but for her sake and the sake of your daughter, she needs as much calming bedrest as possible. Returning to T'Soni-Dalesh for the rest of the pregnancy would be ideal, the ocean environment would be particularly soothing for her. I'm sure you and Aethyta can convince her half-sisters to allow her that much." She cracked yet another soft smile at this.

Shepard rolled her eyes slightly, and took another swig of her drink. Convincing Liara to essentially give up being the Shadow Broker was...going to be difficult, to put it lightly. If it was just her life on the line, she might risk it...but their daughter? Well, if there was anything that would do the trick, that was it. "I'll...I'll do my best...to help her see reason. There's a book she's working on, with Javik. But I can't see how that could be stressful at all, right?" Wheels started turning in her head with regards to the former issue, but she pushed that planning into the background, as she focused on immediate matters at hand.

"Still...Mrs. Shepard...I can not stress enough how important it is that she rest. The longer she remains rested and peaceful, the better and longer she'll be able to endure the changes she's undergoing. Unfortunately...in these cases, natural childbirth is almost never an option. It's simply a matter of keeping the pregnancy going long enough for the child to be viable outside the womb. It's a bit of a trade off, you see..the longer we are able to keep from having to induce, the better it is for the baby, but worse for the mother. And vice versa. And the induction itself...that is, unfortunately, the crux of the problem right there."

Draining her drink, Holly placed the glass down on a nearby coffee table, deciding it would be unseemly to immediately get another, as much as she might feel she could use it at the moment. "How so? I mean...again, I don't know a lot about these sorts of things, but I was under the impression that it was a pretty simple matter to induce labor...at least for Humans. Not the same for Asari?"

"No...not as such, I'm afraid. Our labor processes are not as...hormone driven, as yours. There are drugs to do the job, but they are highly imprecise, akin to using a hammer to open a glass box. They work, .but they often cause damage, often permanent. If we have no other choice, we will do it that way, but...only as a last recourse.

Shepard nodded for a moment and then said "Well...can't you just go in...with a Caesarian section, I mean...when the time is right?"

Jefela smiled sadly "That is an even less desirable option than drug-induction. The former will leave a child relatively healthy in mind, but often quite crippled in body, with regards to coordination and the state of the central nervous system. With a...shall we say physical extraction...the nervous system of mother and daughter are so interconnected, until the very last minutes of birth, that cutting the connection physically is agonizing for the mother, at best. Often times they will recover, but the child? It's so traumatic mentally that in the vast majority of cases they exhibit a form of developmental disorder very similar to what you Humans call autism. They become exceedingly withdrawn in their own minds, unable to process outside stimuli properly. In the best cases, they can undergo therapy, and become productive, functional members of society, but will always have empathy and melding issues, like a very minor, non-lethal form of the syndrome responsible for the Ardat-Yakshi. At worst? They will be forever unable to communicate, barely able to take care of themselves on their own.

Whatever hope Holly had experience a few minutes ago had come sickly, sinking down into the pit of her stomach once more. Blinking incredulously, she responded, her voice rising in tone despite herself "I don't...don't understand! You make it sound like either Liara or the baby can survive, but not both?!"

The doctor smiled, compassionately "That is not...precisely the case. Chemical or physical induction are methods of last resort...but for the best possible outcome, what Liara needs is the assistance of a midwife, specially trained in these matters. You see, we Asari have such control over our nervous systems that in theory, we could terminate our own pregnancies with but simple concentration. It would seem that evolution, however, did not think that a wise idea. There is an instinct, present in all Asari, that make such attempts...very painful. Both physically and mentally. With special meditation and guidance, Liara can be shown how to push past this instinct, to disengage her nervous system gently enough from her daughter, when the time is right, so as to more naturally force the issue. A natural induction of labor at a time of her choosing, a time where she absolutely must give birth, or else her death is almost guaranteed."

Holly simply didn't know what to say at first, remaining silent for the better part of a minute. "Liara is...I know she's so young, for members of your species but...I've never met anyone with as strong a will as hers. I...I know whatever it is that you need her to do, she will do it, and she'll get through this..."

Jefela reached out, patting Shepard's hand tenderly "I know, Holly. Believe me...I delivered Liara myself. Did you know that? Her, and several others of the T'Soni bloodline. I watched her grow up, all her life. In many ways, she is like a niece to me, and we have stayed in touch after she finally left Benezia to pursue her own lifes work. I'm certain she's mentally up to the task...but I feel I need to warn you...one way or the other, this is going to be arduous and grueling. And at the best possible moment for the child, she'll already be weakened considerably by her condition. There is a roughly 20 percent chance that she will be unable to bear any more children afterwards. And...there is a 30 percent chance that she will...that she simply will not survive the strain. Although...I do feel there are some mitigating factors working in Liara's favor. For instance, ironically enough the fact that she is a pur...ah...rather, that she is of two Asari parents. In these cases, that seems to improve the odds.

An absolutely icy chill shot through Shepard's stomach, and she fought back to urge to panic...her body still wracked with a couple of sobs before she rose up from the couch and mumbled "Excuse me...for a second." And with that, she went to the kitchen, poured herself another glass of brandy, downed it in one gulp, before pouring herself another, woozy a bit from nerves and alcohol, before finally returning.

She sat down, fiddling with the glass, nervously, working up the courage to ask the next, inevitable question.

"What about...what about ending...it now? The pregnancy, I mean." Shepard had never actually stopped to consider her feelings on the matter before. She never had to address it. It was easy enough for her to get contraception and emergency abortifacients from the shelters in Detroit the brief time she was engaged in prostitution as a teenager. Beyond that, her...sexual preferences made the issue completely moot in her life.

Until now.

Jefela's eyes went wide...but only for a moment. She quickly smoothed her facial features back into a calm mask, merely stating, in a soft voice "Holly...I think that is an issue that should be addressed by Liara. I already know what her answer is, but I think it would be best if you heard it from her."

That didn't reassure her, but Shepard merely nodded. "Thank you. I...look, please, please don't get me wrong, I do want us to have a child. But I was perfectly prepared to be childless as well, specifically because of Liara's age. I just...I don't want..."

She squeezed her eyes, a few tears trickling out. "I don't want her to die.".

Doctor V'Lork leaned over, giving Holly a gentle, reaffirming hug, as Shepard allowed a few more sobs to wrack her body. "Mrs. Shepard...please...please believe me when I promise you that I will do everything in my power, everything that is medically possible to make sure that your daughter is born into their world healthy and safe, and that Liara makes it through the process with her. And I know, deep in my heart, Liara will do everything she can as well. But the rest? That...is in the hands of the Goddess."

Holly gratefully accepted the hug for a moment, returning it, and nodded. "Thank you, I...I'm sure we'll still have you around to look after our daughter, when she's born." Deciding to take an optimistic tack at the moment.

Shifting slightly, and starting to gather up her bag anew, Jefela returned the smile, and said "Of course. I should probably get going. Is there anything else, Mrs. Shepard?"

Holly started to shake her head, then caught herself. Froze.

"If you don't mind me asking...what the hell is up between you and Aethyta?"

Jefela looked quite sheepish at this. "Ah. Yes. Again, my apologies. Please understand, normally I would not discuss the details of these...distasteful grudges...but I think you have every right to know. I imagine Aethyta will tell you her side of the story, so I might as well do likewise. However..." she started to sit back down, tapping her lips in thought. "In order for you to fully appreciate her mindset on this, I think you need to understand something of the past history of the Asari. I'm, well...I'm going to tell you something, something we almost never share with outsiders. But you...you are who you are, Mrs. Shepard. Despite all your efforts to create a quiet and "normal" retirement for yourself, you are still the Heroine of the Galaxy. We all owe you a great debt. And you honor all Asari with your decision to build a new life for yourself here on Thessia, to the point of even applying for Asari citizenship, when you knew that was far from expected or required of you...oh yes, she told me about that." She smiled at that, as Shepard blushed slightly.

"Right. So...while it is well known that the Asari are a collection of independent Republics, as opposed to a single planetary rule...most people do not realize that this arose in response to the old ways, about oh...say...6 to 8 thousand years previous. Back then, we were race of aristocratic and noble Clans, all obsessed with the "purity" of our bloodlines. It was a rather dark page in our history, to be quite honest. As the Pureblooded Age, as we referred to it, progressed, it became more and more common for first cousins to bond and reproduce...and then as we became even more insular in our Clan groups, relations between sisters, and even mothers and daughters were not unheard of. We...we were so arrogant and naive, so certain that as a monosexed species, we were free from the traditional genetic plight of inbreeding. Incest, as you call it, was not taboo at all. In those days. Even today, sisters who are very close, especially if they are roughly the same age, might spend time living...intimately together, so to speak, as a phase during their maidenhood, and as long as they do not attempt to reproduce, and are somewhat quiet about the relationship in public, there will be little, if any stigma attached. In other ways, however...well...there are still laws in the Asari legal code specifically forbidding first cousins from bonding, and the notion of daughter/mother relations are completely looked down upon, where once it had been quite acceptable.

Shepard spoke softly, nursing her glass much more slowly, the two glasses of brandy she had already dulling her initial fear and panic response from a few minutes before. "We...we were very similar, several hundred years ago. A lot of the noble houses on Earth fell directly as a result of disorders brought about from inbreeding.

Taking a deep breath, Jefela continued "Yes. I'm aware of the historic parallels with Human civilization; it's actually one of the reasons why I fell more comfortable telling you specifically about this, as opposed to say...a Turian or a Salarian. And yes, many of our Clans began to fall due to...how shall I put it? There is a reason why the genetic disorder that is responsible for the Ardat-Yakshi is still of a much higher prevalence in our population than pure evolutionary happenstance would suggest. As of a couple centuries ago, it still occurred in nearly one percent of the population, although that number is still continuing to fall slowly with each successive generation. But at the worst point, Ardat-Yakshi occurred in as many as 25 percent of all births, at least in the nobility. Once the full impact of the situation was grasped...there was a startlingly fast transformation. We are often a glacial people, and do not rethink our cultural norms overnight...but when our very survival was threatened, it was...well..it was not such a difficult thing.

She finished off a good portion of her brandy, and continued "'Pureblood', once a term of pride, became a sneer of derision. "Far better to roam/than to breed too close to home" became a popular idiom, as Asari were practically forced to spread out far and wide, in order to assure genetic diversity. The Clans fell out of favor very quickly, and for a time, we had a system of matchmakers...Matriarchs who kept extremely precise and detailed genealogy charts, and who demanded that they approve all matings, in order to repair the damage that had been done. Some of the older Republic cultures, they will still require a matchmaker to approve a bonding...not through any legal force, of course, but simply out of social expectation. And as time went on, 'pureblood' as a derogatory term took on a newer meaning, when we discovered we could breed with other races, and no longer had to depend on other Asari. You see...we're still working out the shared trauma of our past, that way." She smiled very sadly as she concluded.

Shepard's jaw literally dropped as she considered what she had just been told "Wow...that...that explains a lot. And I appreciate you sharing this with me, I can understand why it's something the Asari would find very difficult to discuss. But I'm not sure I understand how this applies to Aethyta and Liara...and myself."

"Mmmmm...sorry, yes. Aethyta. She is...what we would call a_ sefalatel_. Please don't repeat that to her, it is a rather cruel bit of slang. The nearest translation is "star collector". In much the same way that the word star in your English language can mean both "stellar body" and "celebrity.". You see, despite our cultural shock, there is still a streak of superiority and stubborn pride in our emotional makeup that some of us still needed to see satisfied. And for some such as Aethyta...although to her credit, she has never struck me as someone who is as ruthless about is as others I have known...she...greatly enjoys having daughters and granddaughters of...renowned parentage. You knew she had a daughter with a Hanar? Yes?"

Shepard nodded once "Yeah, I overheard her mentioning something about that once, when she finally met Liara face to face."

"Yes, well that particular Hanar was, at the time, renowned across the Galaxy as a poet laureate of immeasurable talent. To be fair to her, I'm sure she did have feelings for him, perhaps even actual love...but it was a significant "notch on her belt", I believe is the term you might use, to bear his daughter...

Shepard very quickly put two and two together...jaw tightening, the sickening feeling coming back into her belly...

"Oh...Jesus. Fucking. Christ! You mean...I'm...are you telling me I'm the capstone? The crowning achievement to her... collection?! Damnit, no WONDER she was so...vaguely threatening about us having kids." Shepard was up on her feet and starting to pace a bit, as was her habit at stressful times like this.

"I'm...sorry. But to be perfectly honest, I think that's a reasonable assessment. Again, to be fair to Aethyta, I spoke to Liara at length about this. She and her Father did speak about her having children with you...but I have faith in her being her own woman, and not giving into pressure...expectations possibly placed upon her. And she told me a bit of how your own mating melding was...all-consuming, almost instinctive." she smiled tenderly. "It does happen, and that is a good thing, in Liara's case. It will be a positive factor in her coming out of this in good condition."

Narrowing her eyes, Shepard said "That's not all of it though. You're telling me that Aethyta wanted the ultimate prize...and it sounds like she's getting it...damn her! But you're right, Liara wouldn't have knowingly put herself in this kind of..." she started pacing again, having trouble accepting the new reality of the situation. "This kind of danger, simply to please Aethyta. Hell, I had to poke her just to get her to contact her Dad when the opportunity presented itself. But clearly something else like this happened, in the past?"

Jefela sighed hard. "Yes. A couple of decades before Liara was born, another one of Aethyta's daughters, Tevala...she had captured the fancy of a Salarian dalatross, one who served on the Council. And being Salarian, she had a good ten years of life left, at best. So Tevala, she...well, she was barely older than Liara is now. Maybe a little younger even? It was dangerous, but she mated, and the...the exact same thing happened to her as is happening with Liara now. Except she..." she took another deep breath, blowing out hard. "She couldn't find the strength to push past the evolutionary instinct, when the time came. She nearly died, and I had to chemically induce to deliver the child, who needed a least two decades of corrective surgeries and therapy in order to walk on her own. And to the best of my knowledge, Tevala has never been able to carry a child to term since."

Finishing off the rest of her drink, she put the glass down "I spoke to her, privately, right after the delivery. She told me that her Mother...Aethyta was the Mother in this case...she told me that while she hadn't said anything direct, not outright...that she felt very...that it was _VERY IMPORTANT_ that she go through with the melding, even though she herself had doubts about her own readiness. In order to please her. Well, suffice it to say, I was just...I was absolutely furious. And I did something I shouldn't have. I had it out with Aethyta, right afterwards, right in the open lobby of the ward. Oh...believe me, I was livid. The orderlies nearly had to pull us apart. In retrospect it was a terribly foolish thing for me to do but...I was a younger woman, and exhausted after a grueling 28 hour delivery attempt. Still, that was no excuse...

She started to rise up once again, her story coming to a conclusion "Anyhow, Aethyta attempted to make a case of it, brought me up on malpractice charges with the Board, and the Board quickly tossed the case. She threatened to keep making a stink about it, until the Republic Archon herself got involved, and quietly told Aethyta that if she didn't drop the matter, she would be publicly censured. In the end, I never knew if it was guilt or stung pride that motivated Aethyta. Perhaps both. But seeing Liara tonight...well..it brought back a lot of bad feelings that I thought I had put away. I'm...sorry you had to see all this. But...now you know."

She walked over, and squeezed Shepard's shoulder. "I try not to be too judgmental but sometimes even I fail to live up to my own standards. Still, I believe Aethyta is still a much more...complex person than my story portrays her. I hope that she is not quite as...driven in her desire as she used to be. That Tevala perhaps was a lesson that gave her a good scare, one that she needed. At any rate, I'll be by tomorrow, and then several times a week, in the beginning, until we establish a good routine. You, young lady, your task is to keep her calm, rested, and get her settled at her family estate as soon as possible."

Shepard rose, to see the doctor to the door, stopping to give her one more hug. She nodded, and simply murmured "Thank you."

Jefela nodded once and said "My pleasure." before starting to head out. She did pause for a moment, lingeringly. "Oh, one other thing. This is...how do I say this? I suspect this is going to come up again, as an issue. Other Asari. Oh, they'll be patient for a while, but eventually..after a few years, a decade or so maybe, they will start to ask that you sire children with them, or their daughters, or even their granddaughters. You and Liara will need to ultimately decide how to deal with these requests." And with that, she headed out into the night.

* * *

Shepard walked into the bedroom she shared with Liara, taking a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer lights in the room before walking towards the bed itself. Liara appeared to be dozing, and Holly had to admit her color was improved from when she had fainted just a few hours ago. She reached out, tracing her fingertips very lightly, lovingly, over her cheeks and head ridges. She allowed herself one last wave of panic, fear and sadness to wash over her, and then locked it down, deep inside.

_"I have to be strong for her. For both of us. I can do that for you, Bluebird. I promise."_

Liara woke gently, smiling warmly as she saw her bondmate. She slowly propped herself up in the bed, and murmured sleepily "Hi."

Holly kneeled down next to her, and breathed out "Hi", before leaning over to kiss her tenderly. They held the kiss for a few moments, before she spoke.

"Doctor V'Lork. She told me everything. And...I mean everything. A lot of things. About your people, about your Dad. About your condition."

Liara nodded. "Good. I...asked her to help you understand. I hope that she and my Father did not come to blows. I heard them yelling, outside. I think this may have been the first time they were in a room together since what happened...to my sister."

"Oh sure. I had to pull a little of the old Alpha Wolf mojo out, but I...strongly encouraged her to cool off. Somewhere else. She'll probably be back soon, so we should...I..we need to talk about something."

"You're going to ask about the possibility of terminating the pregnancy."

Shepard was stunned momentarily, then remembered herself, nodding. Reaching out to hold Liara's hands in her own. "Bluebird...please understand...I would absolutely love to have children with you. I am totally ready, and completely committed to the notion. But..." she inhaled sharply through her nose, to steady herself "...the risk to your life. 30...percent. That is...I can't even make myself think about it. I'm not sure if it's worth it. Especially if there is...if there's any chance you are doing this because...I mean. Maybe not for your Dad, but because...you think you want to make me happy, by doing this."

Liara's grin grew slightly wider, and she reached up to thread her fingers through Holly's hair, pulling her head over slightly to inhale the scent of the shampoo she had just used when they bathed together earlier that morning. She held her bondmate close for a moment in that fashion, and then said. "My love, I know you're worried. And I know that in your culture, you are more...comfortable...with the notion of abortion. But what you need to understand...among many of my kind...and certainly there are exceptions, but as a general rule, we do not terminate pregnancies. Or at least, it is exceedingly rare. Perhaps if there was absolutely no chance our daughter would live, and it was almost guaranteed that I would die, I would consent, but as long as there is a fighting chance...I will do this."

She reached up to place a few fingertips over Shepard's mouth. "Please understand where I am coming from. My people...in our native tongue, we do not have a term for the Human phrase 'accidental pregnancy.' When we first met the Salarians, we discovered they were much the same in this regard as well. Indeed, it was not until we encountered the Krogan, and then to a lesser degree, the Turians, that the concept really was something we considered. My people...we are blessed with the ability to CHOOSE when we become pregnant. All other factors aside, this is the one fundamental truth of Asari biology. And after a millennia or two of building a wealthy society where, at least on the planets within our territory, an Asari need not worry about food or shelter or medical care...it simply became unthinkable to us, by and large, to terminate a pregnancy. If one of us suddenly decided during the pregnancy that we were somehow not ready for Motherhood...the expectation was that we would carry to term, deliver, and then either the community would come together to help the new Mother adapt and accept her new reality...or...less preferably, someone would step forth and adopt the child. And...most Asari would risk their lives to see their innocent daughters come to term. It is not...at least I do not feel that it is right to sacrifice the child simply because my life is in greater risk. Certainly, it is different in certain Republics, much different perhaps even for Asari living out in places like the Terminus Systems, but here on the homeworld, this is an almost universal ideal among us.

She leaned in, kissing Shepard again, shhhing her for a moment as she started to stammer an apology. "You... must think I'm so cold blooded, right this moment..."

"No love...please, do not feel ashamed. I am not judging you, merely telling you my feelings. I know it has been...very different, for Humans, especially in the past of your species, and I understand, at least intellectually, the reasons why. And many of those reasons simply don't exist in Asari society, or at least, they haven't for a very long while.

Shepard looked into her bondmate's eyes...could see the devotion and dedication, the strength of will...always there, but shining particularly bright in the case. "I'm not used to leaving things to chance, to holding my breath and praying for the best to work out. It was like with the Collectors. I knew it was a bad situation, that when the issue finally came to a head, we were looking at a very real possibility of not coming home. I pulled every trick, stockpiled every advantage, lined up every protection, as early and as quickly as possible. And if...I can't say it was a total success" she closed her eyes, once again, Jack's broken body haunting her minds eye. "But we got through it, better than I had any right to hope for. I guess this is the same thing. We work every angle. We try everything we can to make sure you...and she...you both come out of this one."

Holly leaned in, kissing Liara on the forehead and then rose, starting to slowly pace, trying to work off more nervous energy. She wandered by the chess board, the one Traynor had given Liara as a wedding present, that had been set up on table in a small nook of the bedroom. Giving the board an appraising glance, for a long moment she then said "There is one thing though. I'm putting my foot down on it. I know you had so much going on in your life before hand...continuing on with the book with Javik...I think that will probably be good for you, keep your mind focused. But...your days as the Shadow Broker? That has to end. I'm sorry, Bluebird." She hated being so firm...it broken her heart to deny Liara anything, but she knew this was a hill she had to be willing to die on.

Liara simply nodded once, wearily. She didn't look happy about it, but she clearly knew that Shepard was right on this issue. She simply responded "It's a lot of power...resources...responsibility. How could we simply give it away to just anyone? We can't just shut the operation down either, not really."

Shepard mused to herself for a moment, glancing once more at the chessboard. Picking up one of the pieces, a bishop, she turned it over in her hands, slowly. "I think I have the perfect person in mind. I don't think she'll agree, not at first...but as time goes on, I think she's going to realize how ideally she's suited for it."

Liara was silent for a good ten seconds before she finally asked "You don't mean...Traynor, do you?"

Shepard turned slightly, to regard Liara over the side of her shoulder. "No...although I think she'd enjoy the job more...but she's not quite as well-suited for the work. She might be useful in the transition, though. But no, I'm thinking of someone else near and dear to us..." She held up Miranda's piece, the one with her dressed in a latex bodysuit and spiked heel boots.

Smiling just a bit lopsidedly, Liara motioned for Shepard to rejoin her on the bed. "Well, now that we know where each of us is completely unwilling to budge, come here...I want to share something with you."

Shepard placed the piece back on the board, and then clambered gently onto the bed, curling up to Liara's side. Liara took her hand, placing it on her naked abdomen, underneath her loose robe.

She whispered "I want you to...feel this. I know you were only thinking in regards to my overall safety, but I want you to understand part of why...why it's an option we almost never accept." Liara snuggled up against Holly and murmured "This may feel a little...unusual at first. But our daughter...she's old enough now, developed enough, that the time is right for us to do this. And what I am about to do is a very light form of a meld."

Shepard simply nodded, and tried to prepare herself as best as she could. It was a good minute, maybe two, before she realized that her thoughts...were not solely her own...it was more empathic, than telepathic. An instinctive sharing of thoughts and emotions. She couldn't help but give a slight laugh at the feeling, a wide smile to Liara.

Liara whispered softly "Can you feel her? With us? You may need to concentrate for a moment..."

Shepard held her breath, trying to clear her mind. She realized at first that she was slightly overwhelmed from the empathic bond with Liara, the ebb and flow of emotions, love, compassion, tinged with slight fear...or was that her own fear? But she did finally begin to sense...

And then it clicked, catching her breath in her throat.

"Oh...Oh God...is that...her?"

It was indescribable. She could...sense their daughter, in a way that words alone couldn't do justice to. It was literally as if she had acquired a new sense, beyond the normal five, and she could perceive the small, but growing life, it was like trying to describe color to a blind man, or sound to someone deaf . And she could feel her daughter reaching back out, almost instinctively, sensing being sensed...she was a tabula rasa, simply aware of the presence of two individuals, who seemed to love her very much, and so she radiated back all that love which was transmitted.

It wasn't until Holly could taste the salt on her lips that she realized she was crying.

"Oh God...it's her. It's her! I can...I can feel her! Our...little girl!"

Liara simply nodded, "It's part of the development and bonding process. It's very important my love...that we try to do this as much as we can. It will help strengthen all of us, for what lies ahead."

Shepard tucked her face against Liara's neck and shoulder, giving a few soft sobs. And yes...she understood now. She understood why it was worth the risk, why it was worth Liara putting her life on the line, the way she was ready to. And she realized that she would be willing to do the same thing, to take Liara's place, if she could. She realized that this was truly the moment where Liara and she had stopped being a couple, and had become a true family.

Sensing the unspoken question through the light meld, Shepard suddenly said a name.

"Hippolyta."

Liara tilted her head up a bit, grinning curiously. "Is that a Human name? It sounds...highly unusual. It seems more like an Asari name."

Laughing softly, Shepard explained "She was a Queen...of a race of warrior women, in human mythology. They were called Amazons."

Squeezing Shepard's hand tightly, Liara rest her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes. Ever so softly, she whispered out "Hippolyta. I...like it."

And then Shepard was suddenly seized of a tremendous lethargy, unsure if it was entirely her own, something she was merely feeling from Liara, or both. But she decided she didn't care, as she curled herself around Liara, and by extension, their daughter, and all three drifted to sleep.


	12. Cry Havoc

**A/N: **So a couple of long time readers make some suggestions and comments right after the last chapter was published, and then all of the suddenly, I've got another 6,599 words typed out that I had absolutely no plans originally to do, barely 24 hours earlier. And I've got another 6 to 12K lined up on top of that, that is just solving all sorts of issues with getting Shepard to where I need her to be in the story when things really start to get darker.

Anyhow, my point being is that when I say keep those reviews and critiques coming, it's not because I'm a shallow energy vampire who can't live without the glaring spotlight constantly shining upon him (Although this IS true.), it's because that's how I get my best ideas, from your feedback. If the story is better, richer overall in the end, it's because you took a moment to make a suggestion or ask a question that lead to places in the story I never even properly considered, previously.

So this installment is dedicated to all ya'll following out there. Have a good night!

* * *

It was early the next morning, when Shepard awoke. Pulling herself up, careful not to disturb Liara, she stretched out and rubbed her eyes, trying to remember what it was exactly that had caused her to stop sleeping. A dream of some sort to be sure, but she couldn't remember anything about it, not really, not in any meaningful way. She could have sworn it had to do with the Reapers though...

Making herself a cup of strong coffee and snagging a chocolate croissant onto a plate, she made her way to the balcony, the sliver of rising sun illuminating the rooftops and spires of Amastral...

...and outlining the hulking forms of two Reapers trudging along the horizon, rebuilding surrounding neighborhoods that had been cordoned off while they awaited repairs for the better part of the previous year.

The plate slipped from her hands, sharply shattering into four or five solid pieces. Shepard swore violently under her breath, having been utterly caught off guard by the sight. She looked down at her pastry on the balcony floor, considering for a moment, before shrugging and deciding that the five second rule on Earth could probably stretch out to a good ten here on Thessia; she then snatched it back up, kicking the broken pieces off to the side for later cleaning. Settling herself at the small table near the railing she sighed heavily, narrowing her eyes as she watched the biomechanical juggernauts work with slow, precise movements. She took a sip of her coffee, bit off a large mouthful of food, and chided herself; how could she have forgotten that the damn things had announced that they were moving on to repairs in the Armali capital city not three days ago, communicating as they did these days in terse, text only messages, taking great pains to announce their movements and intentions with the barest economy of words.

_"Shit...well there goes the neighborhood"_, she thought darkly to herself.

She had quite enjoyed living here thus far; the view, 50 stories up, was to die for, and while it lacked the oceanside charm of Liara's ancestral estate, it was still more lavish and breathtaking a city than she had ever seen on Earth. And most importantly of all, it had lacked the Reapers dominating the horizon, as they had in the Thessia planetary capital, although she knew in the back of her mind that the pleasant, Reaper-free situation here wouldn't have lasted forever.

As she continued quietly eating breakfast and sitting silent sentinel against the Reapers, she felt the now-familiar rush of feelings that threatened to overwhelm her whenever she saw them, since the Liberation of Earth and the end of the War itself: hatred, disgust, anger, contempt...

_Jealousy._

Shepards eyes went wide at the unexpected emotion suddenly bubbling up, but before she could spend any more time contemplating it, she heard heavy footfalls come up from behind. She didn't even need to turn around to see who it was, and simply greeted Aethyta as she slumped hard into the chair next to her with a soft "There's coffee in the kitchen, if you want a cup."

"Thanks kid...maybe in a few minutes. Figured we ought to talk, first. And aww damn..would you look at that..."

"Yeah.

"Must piss YOU off to no end. The others, they think it's some great trick, to have those things acting like obsequious puppy dogs, but not me. Not you. I can tell. I can see it in your eyes."

Shepard glanced over to her father-in-law, breaking off half of the large pastry and slid it over to her "That just earned you breakfast."

Aethyta snorted softly in amusement, grabbing the proffered food, shoving half of it straight into her mouth. "Thngcks" she mumbled around a mouthful of food. "Needa soak up some of the booze I've been drinking, last few hours."

"So. You and Jefela."

"Yeah. Sorry you had to see that. A lot of old ugliness. Piss on her though, for starting up shit with me."

"I'm pretty sure she was sorry she said anything. But old wounds run deep. For what it's worth, she softened her words while she was telling her side of the story, trying to give you some...benefit of the doubt, I guess? So, you tell me your side, then."

"Hmmm...is that right? Well, what did she tell you?"

"That ah...maybe you've got a streak in you, for finding mates for yourself, and your kids, the cream of the crop, and that you did it like you were collecting trophies."

"She called me a _sefalatel_ didn't she?"

"I believe the word did pass her lips, yeah."

"Mmmmmm. Well." Aethyta sighed very hard, gently slammed the rest of her croissant into her mouth, as if to muffle the next part "Mayee 'chegotta poin' der."

Shepard looked out, trying to stare at anything other than Aethyta or the Reapers at the moment. "So is it true? Was I mostly just a trophy, the best trophy of all, for your collection."

"Look Holly, before I start, there IS one thing that I'm not going to apologize for, and that's looking out for the best, for myself, and my daughters. We're Asari for Goddess' sake. We're Queens of the fucking Universe. Why SHOULDN'T we want and deserve the best for ourselves? And if that makes me "stuck up" to bitches like Jefela V'Lork, then so be it.

Shepard couldn't help but smile at that. Liara certainly was the Queen of HER Universe at any rate. She took a hearty slurp of her coffee, then responded "I was 15 when I first learned about the Asari. I mean sure, I heard about them in school, but I didn't know anything much, past the name and the simple fact you existed. So for a week, I kind of lived in the Detroit Public Library, playing vids and reading docs. Educating myself. Oh...God. Can you imagine, a 15 year old girl, fully accepting of her lesbianism, living on the streets in one of the shittiest cities in the Northeast American Republic, reading about this fantasyland filled with nothing but gorgeous blue space women, where the streets were practically paved with eezo? Jesus H., if I had a steady girlfriend at the time, I would have made her dye her face blue. After a couple of weeks of being obsessed, I cooled it when the other girls in my gang gave me major shit, especially the xenophobes...but I never forgot. And oh fuck, that first shore leave ever on Ilium..but anyhow, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I can at least appreciate your mindset." She finished off her coffee as she drifted off in reminiscence.

Aethyta slapped her hard enough on the back, to the point where she almost spit up her coffee. "Athame's Tits, girl...I KNEW there was a reason I liked you!"

Shepard coughed hard, glaring slightly at her for a moment, prompting a sheepish look from the Asari.

"Still...need to know what happened...with Jefela and your daughter. Tevala?" Shepard said, in a somewhat croaky voice as she cleared her throat.

Aethyta nodded "Yeah. But before I start on that, I do want to say...no...you're not JUST a shiny bauble for me. Although maybe...on Illium...when we were talking in that bar, old habits did start to come back a bit, you know? But look, despite what Jefela says about the Obstetrics Board and their limits and whatever...I've had at least one other daughter who had her first kid at around 150...and she got through fine. Hardly any strain on her, and she delivered a healthy daughter...and ah...shit, I think I'd like that coffee now, before I say anything more. Black is fine."

Holly nodded once and rose silently, walking back in a few minutes later with a carafe of coffee and a cup, a small cleaning droid trailing along to take care of the broken plate pieces. She placed the cup in from of Aethyta, filled it, then her own cup again, before sitting down, and looking expectantly at the other woman.

"Alright. So here's how it went down. Tevala, you have to understand...I love her...I love all my daughters and their daughters...but Tevvie, well, she's never been the brightest spark in the biotic field. She's not really dumb just...she ain't smart, either. Not like Liara. She isn't particularly talented. She's very pretty, and she can dance up a storm. And I'm sorry to say, that's the best she managed to get out of life, for the most part. So when this thing with that Dalatross came across, I told her...well..I told her she needed to grab the damn varren by the tail and hang on for dear life. And I don't know...maybe I came off as overbearing, maybe I didn't appreciate how meek and eager to please Tevvie could be. And...there were other issues. V'Lork and I argued about her treatment, had a bit of a blowout over which Midwife to specifically train her. She kept shooting my recommendations down, so when...when Tevvie couldn't do what she had to do...and that poor daughter of hers. I felt like I had been right to fight it out with Jefela, that SHE was the one who screwed it all up, not me. And then to have that Doctor go off on me like that, well, I guess I took it as a personal attack, I told myself someone was going to pay for it. And I needed it to be her.

Aethyta paused, downing about half her coffee, still wincing at the heat of it. "Look, I probably screwed up. I'm always going to wonder if V'Lork made a bad call too, you know. I'm not going to ever...EVER be happy that she's the one taking care of my little baby girl. But Liara, she seems crazy about her, so...I can't get in the middle of that. But look, Shepard...you do me a damn solid if you don't do anything else: Let me have a say in who she works with. Let me speak my piece on this. Because this is driving me nuts. I don't want Liara...I don't want her to end up like Tevala did..."

Holly closed her eyes for a moment, resting, considering what she wanted to say next. "Look, for what it's worth, I don't blame you for Liara, right now. I know her, I know that even if you had come down on her and put the screws to her, or tried at any rate...if she didn't feel she was ready, she wasn't going to do it. So that's...one thing going right. The second was she did it, and it was so...intense and instinctive. I just..." she slapped the table a bit, open palmed. "I just hope she didn't do it because she thought it was what *I* wanted. That she had to push myself for me." She wouldn't be able to live with herself if that was the case.

"Kid...I hate to tell you...but Liara? I'm gonna guess she did it for herself. She probably was so desperate to have a kid with you, and she knew she sure couldn't wait until you were a hundred and thirty before it was "absolutely safe". She was probably so fixated on it that it turned into an instinctive thing for her.".

"That...doesn't make me feel much better. But you're right. Damnit, you're probably right." It had been quite an intense moment when it happened, the events that led up to the conception, that is.

Aethyta wrapped an arm around Shepard's shoulders, gently this time, no pretense. "Yeah...well...we'll get through this together. Trust me kid, it'll be fine. You will never repeat this, but Liara is about a thousand times stronger than Tevala ever could be. She's going to make it. I'd bet my life on it."

Leaning back in her chair, and nodding slowly, Holly breathed out. "I just hope we don't have to bet hers."

* * *

Liara woke late in the morning, and had insisted on taking breakfast out on the balcony as well, despite Shepard's protestations that she not leave their bed. They compromised by Holly carrying her in her arms, and laying her out into her seat. After breakfast had been cooked and laid out, Shepard dug in, what little satisfaction she had gotten from half a croissant having long since dissipated.

"So I see the Reapers have started making repairs to the city, at last..." she mused.

Holly just grunted once and nodded, intentionally keeping her back to the rest of the city for just that reason.

Liara reached out, squeezing her bondmate's hand, and eliciting a smile from her. She then said. "We need to talk, for a moment. Regarding the issue of the Shadow Broker. I know you have it in your head to ask Miranda, and at the time I was so tired I didn't want to make an issue of it...but I already had someone else in mind.

Shepard tilted her head in a quizzical expression.

"Feron. He's the most obvious choice. I trust him, and in many ways, he knows more about the systems and network of resources than I do."

Holly blanched for a moment, feeling rather foolish. "I guess I did get rather...overly romantic there, with the notion. But...ah...are you sure that Feron really IS up for the job? I mean...the old Broker really did a number on him and.."

Liara interrupted gently "I have the utmost faith in him. If anything, the fact he's a Drell made him far more resistant to the tortures he endured than many other species. And" she sighed "I will admit, I do not like the idea of someone who used to work for Cerberus in control. It...what is your expression...leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

Liara hadn't known Miranda, not like Shepard had gotten to. And to Liara's credit, she knew Feron far better than Shepard herself did.

"I suppose I should probably respect your choice since..well..you ARE the Shadow Broker. I'm sorry, I got...bossy there, last night. I'm just...I'm not going to lie, this still scares the hell out of me, so I guess I did something that made me feel back in control again."

Liara leaned in and kissed Holly warmly. "Love, you don't have to apologize to me. Especially not as I'm about to ask you a favor, one that is going to take you off-world."

Narrowing her eyes, and quickly putting two and two Holly muttered "Feron needs help getting set up." She stabbed rather hard at the waffle on her plate, then paused. "Promise me that this is going to set your mind at ease, and that you'll take it very easy while I'm gone. I should be badgering your sisters into letting you move back to T'Soni-Dalesh today...

"Oh, Dad already took care of that. She may not be related to any of them, but she can be...persuasive, when she needs to be..."

"Yeah, 'specially if it involves bringing in Eclipse Commandos to do the persuading." she mused with a grin. She swallowed and bit her bottom lip in thought. "I suppose it would be somewhat nice to peek my head out and see what the hell is going out in the rest of the Galaxy. We've been so wrapped up in our warm and cozy fairy tale bubble here, I've kinda lost track of current events."

"Wonderful. I've already booked you a trip to the Citadel. Feron says to meet him there, and that he'll fill you in on any details that are required. I'm sure this is just a formality in the end, just helping him move equipment around and find a new permanent base of operations. I'm sure you'll find it very boring."

"As long as it's quick and boring, that's fine by me, sooner I get back, the better. So...a whole day left then. What shall we do, Bluebird?"

Liara grinned warmly, as she took Holly's hand and placed it on her belly. "I thought we might start off with a bonding session. Then talk about...midwives. We can plan the rest out later."

Holly returned the smile, and stood up, gathering Liara up into her arms, and carrying her back to the bedroom.

* * *

It was an odd, disconcerting feeling, Shepard decided, not having a ship under her own command anymore. She had gotten far too used to giving orders to the helm, to walking the decks, enjoying unrestricted access to all parts. A ship in space is like a world unto itself, and as the Normandy's Commanding Officer, she had been its undisputed Mistress. Being relegated to the level of a mere passenger on a commercial cruiser - despite the First Class accommodations - was excruciating. And after coming across several excited fans and admirers, including an exceedingly flirtatious Asari at the first evening's meal in the ships restaurant, one who seemed intent on jumping into Shepard's bed after dessert, she decided that it might be best to simply hide out in her cabin for the rest of the voyage, catching up on her reading or working on the two model kits she had bought at the spaceport. She had been rather intent on not reading any current events or news, figuring she would get a heavy enough dose of that once she had to help out the new soon-to-be Broker.

Shepard stared out the window from her cabin as the nebula of the Widow system bloomed into view; before people started to repopulate the Citadel anew, the Reapers had sent out a single, insistent message, that they needed to move it back into its former position; so soon after the Wars end, no one was in any particular mood to argue, especially after they were able to return it in just under two weeks, through means still not entirely understood by the rest of the Galaxy at large.

Stepping out onto the docking level seemed...different this time. Certainly, she had been back any number of times since the end of the War, but having been away for almost seven months, returning simply as "Shepard the civilian and Asari/Human citizen."...she couldn't help but feel that she was somehow an entirely different person now, living a completely different life. It had been almost a year now, since the War had ended, and people were finally moving on at last.

She couldn't shake the sense that somehow, it was all threatening to do so without her.

It was a feeling that flared into a roaring inferno of consternation when she attempted to check into her office at Spectre HQ - her meeting with Feron was not until the next local morning - and was greeted with the following statement from the security computer:

"Recognized: Shepard, Holliandra. Spectre Status: In Dispute...please standby."

_"'In Dispute? What the fuck..."_

The door slid open, and the computer responded "Access granted, but be advised: authorized use of Spectre facilities limited to shooting range and basic communications. You currently have two messages waiting."

Shepard walked in the door, glancing around. It wasn't all that unusual for there to be only one or two Spectres in the facility at any one time, and it just so happened that she was alone at the moment. She couldn't help shake the notion, the feeling, that she was as the cuckolded wife, walking into an empty home, a 'Dear Jane' letter waiting on the mantel for her perusal. She decided that whatever the messages on her work terminal contained were probably going to annoy the absolute snot out of her, so decided to put the matter off for the better part of an hour, channeling her frustrations and confusion into some well-needed target practice.

It felt good to have a Black Widow in her hands again, to run through the calculations and the guesstimations in her head, like old meditation mantras. And It simply felt good to be back in a slice of the world she was intimately familiar with, and felt she actually had control over. It was comforting enough that she followed up the hour of target practice with another 45 minutes of cleaning her weapon, and then making some improvements and modifications - a new scope and extended capacity heat clip - at the weapon bench before finally tackling the messages that awaited her.

The first was a QEC session request from Admiral Hackett. Holliandra indicated that she was ready to receive, and fortunately, it only took about 15 minutes for the system to locate and summon Hackett to the QEC terminal on his side. His holographic image formed in the comm tank before her.

"Shepard! Well, it's great to see you once again. How's married life treating you?"

She couldn't help but smile, despite the fact she definitely didn't feel like it at the moment. "Great. It's wonderful. Liara is...pregnant."

Hackett paused for a moment "Wow...is that right? You must be ecstatic!"

"Definitely" her smile tightened up.

She didn't tell him anything more, about the situation going on behind the scenes. Hell, they both knew this was just the small talk, and that it was obvious he had something to say that he did want to, something that she didn't want to hear. The pause between them grew in awkward intensity as neither spoke. Shepard, out of respect - or so she told herself - for the Admiral allowed him to make the first move.

"Jesus, Holly. This is not how I wanted you finding out. I'm just glad that we're able to have this conversation, instead of me having to leave you a static text message. But you can't be all that surprised, given how the media has been playing it up lately, and the pressure the Systems Alliance Parliament has been under over the past few months."

"I...have absolutely no idea...what you are talking about." Good lord...had she really been so wrapped up in her own life, so focused on herself and Liara that she had totally shut out the rest of the Galaxy? It seemed the answer staring her in the face was "Well...yeah."

Hackett paused, looking incredulous. "Ah. I see..well..I suppose you have had...a lot on your plate, and on your mind."

"I guess. You can only answer so many interview requests, or read about yourself so many times in the news feeds before you decide 'You know what? Fuck news.' and just go on a major hiatus from it for a while. Honestly, you know me and the media, Admiral...we've never been on the greatest of terms to begin with...at least starting out."

Indeed, her history with reporters had been exceedingly hit or miss. Emphasis on the hit, where it came to Kalisah al-Jilani. Her first interview with that bitch had gone very badly, as she had allowed herself to be goaded into a fight with the overglorified muckracker. The second time, she had managed to restrain herself from resorting to outright violence, simply walking away, but she still couldn't count it as any sort of a win on her side. But she was improving. Indeed, by the time the War was in full swing, Shepard had...well..THOUGHT...at least that she had been making up for bad impressions, between giving what she felt was a favorable interview with al-Jilani the third time around. And while she and Diana Allers never became great friends, they seemed to have a good working rapport, to the point where Shepard had to admit that her initial fears in allowing the Battlespace reporter onto the Normandy had proved unfounded, and her own confidence in speaking diplomatically to the press was on a significant upswing.

"Well then...bear down, Shepard, because this is going to sting. Give me just a moment to get the feed queued up here."

After a minute or two, one of the monitors burst into life with al-Jilani's face, cutting into the middle of the news feed, suggesting it was a live broadcast.

"...tell me that Holliandra Shepard, who barely six months ago aggrandized and glorified herself and her alien bride in a grotesquely lavish wedding ceremony she INSISTED upon having on Thessia, while Humans on Earth still continue to struggle to rebuild after the horrors of the Reaper War, has finally come out of her ivory tower isolation, and arrived on the Citadel. One can't help but wonder what could finally bring the mighty 'Grand Admiral' Shepard down from her mountain on high. Is she plotting with her alien conspirators to once again impinge upon Terran interests and self-determination? Will Humanity once again suffer the brunt of the burden, giving up the precious blood of its sons and daughters for an alien Council, whose only reward for the effort will be mere trinkets and lip service? This reporter has spent the last few years digging up the real story about this so-called "war hero" and her collaboration with interests less-than-friendly to Earth, often at significant personal risk to herself..."

The report suddenly was interspersed with images of Shepard knocking out Kalisah several years back, or walking away from the camera two years later, along with several other cuts and edits designed to put her in the worst possible light."

"...and I promise you, the good viewers of the Systems Alliance and Earth, that I will not rest until I unmask the truth, and bring her true agenda to light. This is Kalisa al-Jilani, Westerlund News.

Shepard stared blankly at the screen, in utter disbelief. As if this was some great practical joke, and Hackett would blurt out "Surprise! Fooled you!" any second now. But the pained, angered look on his face suggested otherwise. Oh sure, she didn't delude herself; she had definitely ruffled feathers in both the civilian and military spheres, but damnit, she did what she did to save an entire Galaxy, not just one planet filled with people too selfish and self-centered to see past their own damn noses. And she struggled supremely to uphold the ideals of courage, honor and integrity so vital to the Systems Alliance, when God knows that playing it fast, loose and ruthless the entire time would have made things...easier. But it was worth it. She would go back and do it, a hundred times over, and change not a single thing. And in the end, when it was all over...

...she just wanted to be left the fuck alone. Maybe indulge in an occasional pat on the head and a yearly Christmas ham from a grateful Galaxy, but beyond that, she was pretty content to fade into obscurity.

She could feel the coming storm of rage building up, and attempting to defuse it, responding in a small, tight voice. "I get a freebie assassination, right Steve? I get one, part of my honorable discharge package and pension?"

Hackett chuckled softly "Yeah, I understand how you're feeling at the moment but don't wor..."

Shepard suddenly was on her feet, kicking and punching her chair, shouting out "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" until it clattered to the ground. She gave it one last vicious kick, imagining it to be al-Jilani or Yamamaru or any other countless smug, self-satisfied assholes she had come across the years dealing with the Reaper threat.

Hackett waited until she had calmed down, until all that was left was the heaving of her chest from her labor breathes, and simply continued on. "I'm sorry, Holly. But this is just the tip of the iceberg. There's been a simmering resentment building on Earth. Even the Systems Alliance Parliament was caught off guard by how quickly this seemed to have whipped up. Near as anyone can tell, after Humans bore the brunt of the fighting against Sovreign in the Battle of the Citadel, and after humans bore the brunt of the fighting when Earth fell to the Reapers...people are just starting to recover enough to start feeling angry about it, after the relief and elation are gone.

Covering her eyes with her palm, Shepard hissed out "That's...bullshit! You know it is. Yes, we sacrificed tremendously to save the Council, but what did we get out of it? A COUNCIL SEAT! There are races that have had space travel longer than we've had indoor plumbing who will never have that happen. Does no one seriously understand the magnitude of that?! Not even half a century out in space, and we become the greatest high achievers in history. And then we worked so hard getting people on board to free Earth, at a time when everyone was scared and wanting to hunker down separately." She suddenly slammed her fist down on the console "What a bunch of ungrateful, selfish pricks!"

Hackett frowned at her, and she held out a hand "Sorry, it's just...this is a lot to take in."

He nodded and said "Well, unfortunately, it would seem that we miscalculated on the diplomatic show for the wedding. It got us a lot, but it also seems to have played right into the hands of pro-Human/anti-Alien sentiment back home, and they've been quick to capitalize on their gains. They've managed to prop you up as a symbol of all that's "wrong" with Human-Alien cooperation.

Shepard shot daggers at Hackett "You mean the wedding *I* didn't want to have? The one I practically BEGGED you not to do? The one I got FORCED into having, after all the pretty speeches about how it was going to magically bring everyone together in the Galaxy in the spirit of peace and brotherhood?! THAT wedding, Steve?!" At that moment, she didn't think she had ever felt more anger or antipathy towards someone she otherwise considered a friend and respected colleague.

Hackett raised his voice "Shepard! Now look, you get a hold of yourself. I know this is a bad situation, but that's no excuse for you to go half-cocked like some Goddamned raw recruit."

"I'm not in the fucking Stellar Navy anymore, Admiral, so don't tell me...!" she hissed sharply, walked off screen for a moment, willing her anger to drain away from her, before finally coming back into view. "Alright...sorry. Yes. That was...disrespectful. So how the hell did I end up having my Spectre status suspended? What's the deal with that?"

Hackett sighed tiredly "You know how it is, you and the SAAF. Half of the Admiralty think you are the absolute paragon of humanity, the other half think you're some loose-cannon renegade that needs to be brought in under heel. And believe me, I tried my best to protect you on this one, but soon afterward, they pulled me back out from my interim position as Ambassador for Earth on the Council, and assigned some ice-queen named Armitage, who comes off like Udina with a sex change. She was the one who insisted that Earth would be unable to accept you as a Spectre without...as she put it "significant rehabilitative efforts." Which I guess means that if you want to work as a Spectre again, you would need to come back into the fold...back to the Systems Alliance Military. And...ah.." he started to nervously rub the back of his head. "You're going to have to move back to Earth, settle down here. We'd do a media comeback tour...remind the folks here that you're one of them, that while you worked to save the entire Galaxy, that ultimately your heart belongs to Humanity. Things like that." The expression on his face showed how displeased he was at having to lay down these terms...clearly diplomacy didn't suit him.

Shepard worked with alarming calmness, taking the better part of a minute to pick up the chair she assaulted, dust it off, and lower herself into it with delicacy. She then spoke, through clenched teeth. "I shouldn't have to, Admiral. You damn well know I've paid my dues. I brought allies to us, solved centuries-old problems in the Galaxy, all to get Earth the help it needs. If anyone still has questions as to my devotion to Earth, they can go the fuck to hell." She slumped her head, speaking quietly now, tired "And besides...I can't move to Earth. The pregnancy...it's...there's complications. It's...it's not good. She has to stay in the environment, and she can't move very much from bed." She then looked up at the hologram before her. "You're asking me to essentially abandon my wife in her hour of need."

Hackett looked grim for a moment, closing his eyes, then opening them slowly. "Damn. Shepard...I'm sorry. I didn't know. But my hands are tied on this. I know it probably doesn't help, but if it were up to me...well." He looked over to the side for a moment, then back "I'm sorry, I'm done apologizing for these people, these petty bureaucrats who can't stand up for what's right when the political climate makes it tough going." He then spoke, very softly. "Holly, you need to make the call. I'll understand, one way or the other, no matter how this ends. You'll always have my admiration and respect."

She could feel the worst of her anger ablate, in the face of Hackett's candor. She rose, and walked over to the tank, to meet him "eye to eye". "Thank you...Admiral. I know we've had some...sharp words here today. But your admiration and respect does mean the world to me. I...I can't give you an answer, not right now, not like this."

He nodded "Of course not. And I wouldn't expect it. You just give me a call, let me know when you've made up your mind. You take care of yourself, alright Shepard?"

She nodded once, smiled weakly "Sure. I'll land on my feet. Always do. Hoo-ah." She gave him a small salute.

He returned the salute, and the slight smile. "...Goodbye."

His image winked out, the connection closed.

Shepard sank back into the chair, and closed her eyes tightly.

_"I am not going to cry over this. I am not shedding any more damn tears. Not for these people. Not again. Ever."_

She compressed everything she was going through at the moment into a tight ball, clenched in the middle of her chest, and dispassionately keyed up the second message, her heart sinking as she realized it had come from Feron. The news was not good:

_"SB in danger. Will need to resolve situation before transferof responsibility. Can't explain here, meet me at our agreed spot tomorrow, 10am local morning. Hope you clear up Spectre status...will probably need it."_

Shepard felt foolish for a brief moment as she wondered how he had found out, then realized that it was his job...was REALLY going to be his job soon enough. Then despaired, ice stabbing through her heart. She was about two seconds away from telling the Systems Alliance that her status wasn't worth the constant humiliation they felt the need to ply upon her...and now suddenly, she was looking at a situation where Liara's life might be on the line, and she was going to need being a Spectre in order to deal with it?

She walked out numbly, head slumped, feeling defeated, trying to acclimate herself to a terrible possibility: that she would have to spend months...possibly years, away from Liara...that she would have to essentially give her up in order to save her. How could she live like that? Without her?

_"I could live without her for the rest of my life if it meant that she'd be safe..."_ She'd hate every agonizing minute of it...but she could do it.

Still, she loathed situations like this, when it seemed like some sort of black/white binary setup was all she was being offered.

_"There's always another way."_

Those were his words, Anderson's, They were ones she always tried to live by. She'd figure this out, somehow.

So engrossed was she in her own thoughts, she almost completely bumped into the Asari standing in front of the door to her condominium on Silversun Strip.

"Oh! Hey...hey...sorry..I...I didn't see you..." she blustered.

The Asari smiled "No Mrs. Shepard, you owe me no apology. I know that there is much on your mind. Let me get right to the point: my name is Thea, and I am the personal attaché to Ambassador Tevos T'Naori."

Shepard nodded...she had met with her once or twice, most recently right before she headed off to Thessia as it was falling to the Reapers.

"The Ambassador thought it best that her message be delivered personally, so you understand the respect she has for you. By now, you're aware of the situation regarding your continuing status as a Human Spectre."

"Yeah...yeah, that's putting it lightly." She reached out to the palm scanner, the mechanism reading her hand, and unlocking the door. "Hey, you want to come in?"

Thea smiled politely "Thank you, but I must decline...I've only come to relay my message, and then I must return. The Ambassador would like to meet with you, tomorrow morning if this is convenient to you. She would like to discuss...alternative solutions to your current predicament."

Shepard tried not to let her face light up, tried to play it a bit cool, despite her heart suddenly leaping up into her throat. "Yes! I mean, of course. I have a prior engagement at 10am. Um. Is 8:30 okay?

"No...but 9 should be perfect. Is that alright?

"Yeah..yeah, 9 is great. Thank you."

"Of course, Mrs, Shepard. It was an honor to meet you, however, briefly. Please, have a good evening."

And with that, Thea bowed slightly, and headed off.

Shepard walked into the condo, closing and locking the door behind her. She was a somewhat shocked to find a sizable crate of a Salarian malt liquor that she was rather fond of on the kitchen island. Curiously, she walked up, and read the note attached.

_"Shepard, just wanted to thank you for letting Tali and me use this place. It made for a very romantic weekend. Lets get together soon, been hearing some worrying things. - Garrus"_

She smacked her forehead lightly, having totally forgotten that she had loaned the use of the place out to the couple barely three weeks ago. She couldn't help but smile, her first genuine one of the day. God she missed him. All of them...all scattered off to their various lives at present...it was like the wedding was their last great collective huzzah, before the story of her life shifted in a totally new direction. And not a terribly positive one, although she was making a commitment, right then and there, not to give in to despair. She was going to beat this, this thing. She was going to come out on top, damnit. She was going to get what she deserved, in a completely straight up and not-at-all creepily ironic sort of way.

Grabbing a bottle of liquor to go along with the Kobe beef jerky she had bought from a kiosk on the Presidium, she made her way up to her bedroom, letting her duffle bag slip off her shoulder and onto the floor. She then immediately stripped naked and sank into her hot tub...this was definitely what she needed right now.

Taking a vicious bite of the jerky and chewing, she appraised the bottle, and thought the moment called for some particular pithy or meaningful statement to mark it; she thought about what Anderson might say to all of this, right now.

Then it suddenly hit her.

Shepard twisted the cap off the bottle, a sharp "fffft!" hissing out. She then raise it up, and before taking a long pull, she softly declared:

"Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war."


	13. Today's Fish Is Trout ala Creme

**A/N: **This is all your fault, you know. No, not you. The other guy. You in the peanut gallery, who decided that I should make a weird and silly dream sequence, because you give me all the giggles while I'm trying to be dark and serious for a bit. So I have to get this out of my system.

So you can either take this or leave this as canon. If you are enjoying the dark groove, then I would just sort of skip over this installment. But if Farscape could pull the mix off, I can at least make a hamfisted attempt at it, too.

So this is for you **Sun-Tsu Toriden, **with a tiny nod and smile to **scorpio-666. **Also, **TheBleachDoctor**, who somehow managed to discern that I was about to put up a dream sequence piece. Really, seriously, that was kind of creepy there, man.

* * *

The Dread Empress Shepard reclined in her dark, bejeweled throne, carved from a single, solid block of onyx, resplendent in her black armor, scorched as it was by intense combat and splattered with the blood of her vanquished foes. She had claimed Buckingham Palace as her initial seat of power, mere hours after her flagship - which bore more than a passing resemblance to a Reaper, albeit painted pink with black racing stripes and tricked out chrome highlights - had finally made planetfall. It was the first place she could think of, at least until she finally made up her mind where to settle down more permanently. Maybe someplace sunny and tropical; Liara, now Empress Consort, was always rather fond of the tropics.

Not that a good chunk of the planet itself was worth a damn by this point, an unfortunate outcome of the massive orbital bombardment she had visited upon her former homeworld, as mass effect accelerated kinetic impactors combined with bombs that bathed the Human cities in lethal Cherenkov radiation took their frightening toll. But the Krogan had given her a good deal on the resettlement rights, so alls well that ends well.

Shepard stretched out and leaned back, the throne reclining like a barcalounger, despite it's stone construction , then cracked her knuckles and tilted her head up; Samantha Traynor, dressed in little besides a black leather bikini, high heels, and a spiked collar, smiled sweetly as she popped grapes into her liege lady's mouth.

Suddenly Shepard roared out "Bring me my captured foe, the leader of Earth's now crushed-but-already-exceedingly-puny-to-begin-with resistance, the antagonist with whom I have locked horns lo these many years, the woman who while I despise her guts completely, I would probably still totally hatefuck if given the right circumstances and amount of booze."

She rose from her throne, striking a dramatic pose as she did, reaching into the air. "Bring me...Kalisah al-Jilani! Nya ha ha ha! I have a villainous guffaw!"

As ordered, Kalisah was brought forth into the throneroom, her elaborate professional dress torn and tattered, her hands bound with rope. Her hair perfectly permed however, teeth gleaming white. Also, she was...I don't know, a little more tarted up than usual? You know, like with the makeup? Bust was probably a little larger than in real life too..you know this IS Shepards imagination we're talking about here.

She was dragged roughly in by Ashley Williams, the Captain of Shepard's elite Imperial Guard, her hair cut into a savage mohawk, a scar slashed across her otherwise attractive face, because that's how you know she's evil now. Gripping Kalisah's shoulder and painfully forcing her to her knees, she looked up to her Empress, gave an elaborate salute, her fist pounding against her chest, and then held up high at and angle, and declared:

"Here you go, bosslady. Have fun! And since this has turned into a speaking role instead of a mere walk-on, I get triple scale. So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna check out the craft services table now. Bu-bye!" And with that she turned on one heel, and walked off.

Striding up, a menacing lear on her face, Shepard looked down at her captured prey. "Kalisah al-ji...um...Bitchy! Ha! So I have you now!

Kalisah swooned slightly putting her the back of her hand to her forehead, "Alas, so you have! Do, I mean! Your evil is matched only by your keen, analytical mind, which allowed you to execute the amazing tactical wizardry the likes of which aren't even worth going into any actual detail, least their sheer awesomeness totally blow your mind! That, and your incredible hotness. Especially your abs! And...um...your butt, I guess.

"I know, right? Do you know how many crunches I do a day? That I STILL do? It's not easy to keep up with a grueling exercise regime while extracting your badass vengeance on Humanity...

"Oh, but it totally is worth the payoff. I mean seriously, I only gave you such shit because I was secretly obsessed with you since the day we met. I remember that time you punched me..." She sighed heavily, in happy reminiscence "It was like being kissed...being kissed by the fist of an angle!"

"Um...You mean angel, right?"

"Why, what did I say?"

"You said angle..."

"No no...I was right the first time."

Suddenly, Javik walked by, wearing a pair of jammies and carrying a surfboard, cigarette hanging off of his bottom lip. He murmured as he passed by "Has anyone ever noticed that my head bears more than a passing resemblance to a mushroom? What is the deal with that? Crazy, I tell you...crazy."

Completely unphased, Shepard towered menacingly over her captured victim, reaching down to tear the back off her dress, exposing a smooth expanse of unblemished skin. "Well...if you liked the punching, then you're going to absolutely adore...THE BRANDING!

Her eyes widening, an aroused, throaty quality to her voice, Kalisah cried out "Oh my God, YESSssss I mean...no. Oh god. No." She suddenly started to sob, melodramatically. "You monster!"

Shepard held out her hand and receiving the cool end of a branding iron, the business end glowing red hot, wrought in the shape of a winking, chibi anime-style Liara giving a playful salute, Garrus, who had handed it to her, looked around for a moment, shrugged, and then walked off, muttering "Hmmm...something...something...calibration."

Holly couldn't help but grin in an exceedingly wicked (How many "wicked"'s is that? Just the one? Really? I could have sworn it was more...) and pleased fashion as she grabbed Kalisah hard by the back of her hair and pressed the brand into the skin of small of her back!

"EeeeeeeeYes! Wait, I mean,...owie! Ow ow! Ow?"

Shepard pulled the brand back. The flesh was perfectly smooth and unharmed. No tramp stamp for Kalisah this day!

Shepard growled in frustration, snarled, and tried again, pressing the brand in harder.

"Ow! Come on...quit it. Please?"

And still, the back refused to be burned. Shepard just stared dumbly at the branding iron, her conscious mind starting to rouse as "dream logic" began clashing against real expectation in an overly violent manner.

Jack was suddenly there both her arms and one of her legs terribly mangled. She sneered "Geezus babe, don't you even know how to brand a bitch?"

Cortez looked up from his book, sitting in a leather upholstered library chair, wearing a red velvet smoking jacket, monocle, and puffing on a meerschaum pipe "Should have gone with the strap-on, ey wot?"

And that was when Miranda burst into the scene, the perfect picture of a 1950's TV housewife: heels lipstick, pearls and apron. She held up a white hatbox, and exclaimed in a sing-song voice "Iiiiive got just the thing! Riiiiight here!".

* * *

Shepard's eyes flew open, then narrowed. She glanced over at the clock on the bedside table, the soothing blue numbers reading "0538". Closing her eyes and flopping over onto her other side, she figured she had at least another couple of hours before the alarm went off, and she needed to get up for her meeting with the Asari Ambassador.. Before drifting off to sleep asleep again, she muttered against her pillow "No more beef jerky and booze...before bed..."


	14. Free Agent

**A/N: **Holy shit. I can't believe this pace I've suddenly acquired. Can you believe it? Because I sure as hell can't. Too bad it won't last, but dayam!

Blah blah blah, keep those reviews, ideas, and critiques coming, because seriously...I gave you Shepard in Asari Commando leathers this chapter...so really, you kind of owe me now :-D.

**REVISION HISTORY: ****5-9-13:** I don't often do something like this, but I believe that in their review, **darthsquirt2 **made an highly valid point. The riff on the Catholic Church was out of character, and I actually was reconsidering it when I was half asleep this morning anyhow. Writing about religion in sci-fi is always tricky thing, so thanks for keeping me honest folks. :-) Hopefully the revised text works better.

* * *

The blaring alarm roused Shepard sharply from her dozing, the clock/music player blasting out something that she could only later best describe as "Turian Death Metal", prompting her to so violently lurch that she actually fell out of bed. Slamming a fist down on the "Off" bar, she grumbled darkly about "so-called best friends who change the alarm settings when they borrow your condo.", as she trudged into the bathroom to take a fast shower.

She yawned, and grumbled again, having not slept particularly well during the night, still adjusting to the time lag, and the fact that she had a lot of trouble falling asleep to begin with, still nursing an ever growing grudge over the situation with her Spectre status, and indeed, her image back home in general. But this was not exactly a new situation for her, having her loyalty questioned, her dedication to protecting the Human race, the notion that she had somehow gone "rogue".

It was different this time, however. In the beginning, she could understand it, tilting at windmills as she had done, accusing another Spectre with the long and storied career that Saren possessed of being in league with monsters that had been relegated to the realm of myth and make believe. She could understand the Council deciding to simply play Sovereign off as some sort of advanced Geth dreadnought hiding the truth when her near-death had given them a good two years to cover up the truth.. She could endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, so to speak, when she teamed up with Cerberus in trying to deal with the Collector threat, gathering intelligence on Reaper activities and doing her best to throw a wrench in the works of their inevitable onslaught. So many people seemed ready to believe the worst of her...and given what she eventually discovered about Cerberus, their activities, their direct role in the massacre at Akuze, and God knows how many other nightmares, she couldn't blame people for accusing of her shaking hands with the devil, when that is precisely what she HAD done,

But this time, it HAD been different: This time, it had seemed so straightforward; the Reapers were an undeniable reality. All her "ranting and raving" had been verified in the most horrific way possible. She had lead the spearhead to bring together the largest fighting force in the history of...everything...a very symbol of galactic unity and harmony, in order to free Earth, and bring the Reaper threat to an end once and for all. It was far more cut and dried this time around, so much more black and white. She was right, and she was doing what was right. Her hands were clean at last.

Sure, she could understand Humanity going through a...period of adjustment, although the words didn't really capture the magnitude of what Human society was experiencing at present. In less than 50 years, Earth had gone from being a nascent space-faring race completely incapable of traveling to even the nearest star in a human lifetime, to one of the most politically and militarily powerful races in the Galaxy. And it had also gone, in less than half a century, from being insulated from the issues that confirmation of alien life brings, to having endured the worst genocidal holocaust in history.

All this before Humankind had even really begun to meaningfully solve the deep social, religious, and socioeconomic problems that plagued Earth. Certainly, the explosion in resources and technology was helping to patch things up, but she had seen, had grown up, first hand with how little things had changed: 25 years after the invention of FTL technology, and she and others such as her still grew up in slums like Detroit, and even worse places in China, India and Africa.

She closed her eyes, the shower beating down over her head and back, as she finally admitted the truth to herself.

"It was too much, too soon, for all of us"

That was it, really. It was too much, too soon. Some folks simply handled it better that others. No wonder humanity was starting to have a collective freak out, and it was feeding yet another new wave of xenophobia...not that the old waves had truly abated. Hell, in the religious sphere alone, a lot of the more fundamentalist and otherwise hardline orthodox religions, trying to remain relevant in an increasingly secular world, were still struggling with the very existence of alien life, more advanced than Humankind in more than a few ways; just the existence of the Asari alone had probably caused several radical religious sects to temporarily lose their collective minds. Others, however, rolled with the punches well, adjusting to the changes with grace and elan, either seeing the existence of alien life as only strengthening and renewing their faith, or at the very least had decided "Great, more souls to save!".

But she couldn't just look at this, couldn't analyze it dispassionately, oh no. People suddenly got it into their heads to make it oh-so-personal with she tried to tell herself that the "silent majority" of Humans were no doubt grateful, to her and all the other races that fought in the war, there was such a loud segment of the populace that seemed to want to tear her down, destroy her. To treat her like some sort of judas goat. It hadn't been Kalisah...she had spent about an hour before bed tormenting herself with what other media figures and "Human First" groups were saying. Wildfire...that really had been the best way to describe it. Like a spark igniting dry tinder. She didn't want, nor deserve the things they were saying about her, even after everything she endured to save them, all of them, even the ungrateful ones. And if they couldn't be bothered to at least say thank you, they could at least do her the courtesy of leaving her the fuck alone.

In some ways, dealing with the people, her own race, who were smart, and kind, and able to make the transition, made it all the harder; it would be so much easier if she could just quietly loathe them all without it getting...messy and complicated.

She stepped out of the shower, drying her hair, and scowled a bit at herself; with it's longer length, it had required far more care than she had been previously used to in life, and she had forgotten to take that extra time into account this morning. But the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint Liara when she came back home, with a head full of knots and split ends.

_"When I come back home...to Thessia."_

She did have to smile at that. Yes...that much she was certain of. Thessia was home. Or rather - and this was the more important distinction - Liara was home.

She threw on the nicest business dress she had left for herself in the closet, tied her hair up into a bun, applied a little lipstick and eyeliner, and then flew out the door, no time for breakfast. She hoped to God that whatever terms the Asari Ambassador was going to offer to potentially "fix" this issue, they were a hell of a lot better than what Hackett told her her own Government was going to expect. Sure as shit couldn't be any worse.

* * *

Holliandra did at least manage to grab a cup of joe from an elcor-run kiosk on the Embassy level to perk her up. Elcor coffee was...weird. Some industrialist had gotten it into their heads about 20 years ago to try planting some genetically altered Arabica, thinking that the large, flat plains and shady forests of Dekuuna would somehow provide a good growing environment, not realizing that the lack of mountain climes would hamper things considerably. While the large growing areas did allow for an extreme volume of beans to be produced, the flavor characteristics, altered as they were by genetics, gravity and temperature...left something to be desired, at least to the human palate. The elcor themselves seemed terribly fond of the crap. Thus giving rise to the now classic chestnut: "The Elcor make terrible coffee, but at least there's plenty of it!"

Making it to the Asari embassy with barely five minutes to spare, she downed what little of her beverage as she could continue to stand, and then tossed it into a nearby waste receptacle. Checking in with the VI at the front office, she was directed to sit in the waiting room with assurances she would not be kept waiting long.

It was barely ten minutes later when Thea popped out, greeting Shepard with a warm smile. Shepard rose to meet her.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Shepard. If you'll just follow me..."

She was guided into a large office, composed primarily of a sunken area, with a large picture window view out onto the central ring of the Presidium. Indeed, other than the decorating job, it was an almost exact replica of the one Donnel Udina had...at least until she had shot the God damn bastard, effectively ending his career as well as his life. Shot him, it suddenly occurred to Shepard, before he could potentially do the same to Ambassador T'Naori.

Trying to suppress a slightly smug smile, she walked over to the Ambassador's desk, Tevos T'Naori rising from her seat. The two clasped hands in a traditional Asari greeting, and then both sat down.

"Thank you for accepting my offer to meet, Mrs. Shepard. Can I offer you anything?"

Shaking her head, Shepard softly said "No, I"m good. Thanks." Unfortunately, her stomach chose that moment to betray her with a loud growl. She rolled her eyes, sighed softly, and then pinched the bridge of her nose in embarrassment. "Sorry. I...ah..I did skip breakfast. Instinctive reaction, but I'm okay, really."

"Nonsense, we've got a small kitchen here." Tevos then pressed on the common button, and spoke "Thea, could you please make a light breakfast for our guest? I'll trust you to use your best judgement."

"Of course, Ambassador. I will bring something out shortly."

Shepard blinked, "Oh...wow. well...thanks. Not necessary but...appreciated."

"Think nothing of it. And how are things back on the homeworld? I seem to remember hearing you were living in the Kolos district in Amastral? "

"Oh...yes. Yes, It's great...I love it." and at this, Shepard did genuinely smile. "Although I could do without seeing the Reapers, they just moved into the area, right before I left."

Tevos's eyebrows raised slightly, and she nodded once "Yes, I will admit...it is very strange to see our former enemies, the very epitome of uncompromising destruction, so utterly tamed. These Q'Nadiri...we owe them quite a debt of gratitude." She paused, then glanced over Holly "And they are not the only ones."

Shepard smiled, but couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable. And that feeling of awkwardness was only compounded when Thea rolled in a tray with a large Belgian waffle, and a side of sausage. She couldn't help but feel this was a bit of a put on, but she suspected it was for good reasons, at any rate. She nodded her thanks to the attache, then dug in.

Tevos started speaking again "And I hear your bondmate is with child! You must be so excited! And please understand, I've heard of the health situation with Liara, and if there is anything at all that can be done to help make it better, please do not hesitate to ask, at all."

Shepard nodded and then decided that it was time to get down to brass tacks. "Ambassador, please forgive me if this sounds a bit gruff on my part, but...really, there's no need to butter me up like this." She glanced down, realizing that she had been unconsciously spreading butter on her waffle as she said this. Chuckling, then shaking her head, she continued "Believe me, I'm already quite favorably inclined towards Thessia, and Asari in general. So we can just get straight to what you have on your mind."

Tevos hmmmmed softly, then assumed a much more authentic smile. "Of course. I apologize if I have embarrassed you. I guess I simply wished to...make it very clear that despite the problems you are currently having with your own species back on Earth, that all Asari recognize the debt we owe you, the lengths you have gone and what was sacrificed in order to assure not only our own survival, but that of all life across the Galaxy. And...I will admit to a certain effort on my part to assuage my own guilt; I AM painfully aware, Mrs. Shepard, of my own role in downplaying and helping to suppress your initial warnings regarding the Reapers. I was...very arrogant. And it came at a great cost. To so many."

Pausing for a minute to chew through a link of sausage, washing it down with a glass of water, Holly spoke "So, this situation with my Spectre status being in dispute?"

"Oh! Oh yes. Dreadful business this. And you have my apologies, as well as the Turian and the Salarian Ambassadors. I'm sure you will keep this in confidence when I say that this Armitage woman your planet has chosen as Udina's replacement is simply...dreadful. I would think after Donnel's betrayal during the war, your people would be more...I'm sorry, there is no way I can say this without feeling like I am insulting you, but your people have been very short sighted and petty over this, especially as of late.

Shepard shrugged dispassionately "You're preaching to the choir, Ambassador. It seems The Terran Powers-That-Be and I have been bashing heads together since I first took Command of the Normandy. This isn't anything new, this is simply the next chapter in a long running shitstorm featuring yours truly, pardon my language. I'm just...honestly? I'm very disappointed as well. Earth should be so much better than this, Humanity should be so much better than this. I...feel like we have earned this role, but we simply haven't demonstrated the proper dignity or respect for it.

"That...must be a very uncomfortable statement for you to make. They are your own people, after all. I know you must feel at least a basic affection and loyalty for them."

Shepard held out her hands for a moment. "Well...yes. You always want to root for the home team. And there ARE plenty of decent people..hell..MOST Humans ARE good and decent people, please remember that. We just have really... shitty judgement...in picking our political leaders. My apologies on that. So yes, anyhow, it's clear that the part of Earth that hates me wants to bring me totally to heel: either take me off the board, or make me their catspaw. No new tale to tell there. But I'm just a little surprised, I thought Spectres answered directly to the Council as a whole.

"Wellllll...yes. This is correct technically. However, there is an informal agreement...a tradition, in a manner of speaking, that once someone becomes a Spectre, a Council race...vouches for them. That it's somehow on their head a bit, if the Spectre becomes...problematic. You can imagine the shame the Turian Ambassador felt, over Saren Arterius, for instance. And when a non-Council race is tapped for Spectre membership, usually one of the Council races "vouches". A Volus, for instance, would almost always be Turian vouchsafed."

"I think I see where this is going. Since I'm a Human Spectre, and it was the Human race vouching, like you say, they have the ability to say. 'Sorry, we don't like our choice anymore, and we want to have a frank discussion about them.'"

"Sooooomething like that. Yes. Technically, the Council as a whole has to agree to remove a Spectre from the roster permanently, but the vouching race can tie things up indefinitely. It is a political ploy, one that, I am sad to say, the Council very much refrained from exploiting unless absolutely necessary.. At least until your race earned their seat."

"Yeah, that sounds like us..."

"I think you may see where I am going with this. Certainly, you can chose to work your issues out with your own people, and do what they require of you to lift their objections to your continuing status under their...aegis."

Shepard couldn't help but smirk slightly "Orrrr..." she continued eating heartily as the Ambassador spoke.

"Or...well. Let me put it this way. As of 0700 hours local Citadel time this morning, the Asari Republican Senate, which is the closest thing we have to anything approaching a world governmental body on Thessia, met in a special session and held a vote. By unanimous consent, your provisional status as an Asari citizen has been upgraded, and you have been granted full, unconditional citizenship."

Shepard blinked "I see...normally that process takes about 15 years..."

"Normally, yes. But now, as a full Asari citizen, you can choose to withdraw yourself and resign as a Human Spectre. Whereby immediately, I can appoint you as an Asari Spectre...who just so happens to be a Human. Something like this...well..it's never really been done before, but there's nothing to stop it, not really."

Jaw dropping just a bit, Shepard's mind reeled at the notion. "Wow. I...ah. Well...first off thank you, for this honor, and...ummmm. Well let's be honest here, it's an "easy" solution, but it's got "shitstorm" written all over it."

Tevos smiled sadly and nodded once. "Yes. I'm glad you understand the ramifications..You'd be more or less playing into the hands of the political factions on your homeworld who accuse you of being a...an Asari "collaborator"! As if our people were somehow in a state of war..." she snorted at the last part.

Shepard steepled her fingers "Yeah...it sure makes a statement, alright."

Closing her eyes for a moment, then shaking her head, Tevos stared hard at Shepard "I am going to speak candidly for a moment: You are a prize, Mrs. Shepard. And much more than just a symbolic one, you are an incredible resource. One of the great saviors of the Galaxy. You ended the Genophage, for ill or for good, you brought the fighting between the Geth and the Quarian to an end...and you handled the issue on Thessia, in the Temple of Athame very...discretely. Don't think we didn't take note of that." She cracked a smile at this. "If Humankind's political leadership is so hellbent on casting aside its champions, then far be it from the Asari not to scoop them up and treasure them appropriately if the opportunity presents itself! I'm sure that if it wasn't for your...shall we say, very favorable relations with our people, the Turians would be making the move in my stead. Even the Dalatross, despite the friction you both have had in the past, has made noises about doing what it takes to keep you."

Holly felt flummoxed, just for a few brief seconds. She had to admit that this was a possibility she had entertained, but had not fully expected; thus she hadn't actually allowed herself to consider the ramifications until just the moment. To a certain extent, it seemed very cut and dried: Continue to jump through flaming hoops set out by the Systems Alliance and play the part of the "humbled prodigal daughter", eternally forced to cry out "Terra Uber Alles" at any number of PR events that were already being provisionally scheduled for her, or to allow the Asari to snatch her up, place her on a pedestal, and allow them to wave her in Humanity's face, give them bragging rights...the message being "Asari are so much more superior to Human culture, even your greatest warrior likes being with us SO MUCH more."

And it's not like that was an untrue statement; frankly, Shepard ABSOLUTELY liked being with the Asari far more. She hadn't seen so much as a single slum on Thessia, and it was clear that on the general whole, Asari were more pleasant people by comparison. Oh sure, she had met vain, bitchy, egotistical ones, but so what? That was a universal constant, for all races. But despite what political bragging rights and power plays it allowed the Ambassador to execute, she also was pretty damn certain that for the most part, all the talk about respect and admiration and honor...that was the real deal. And that if she asked them to please not so blatantly glorify her for their own ends alone after a little while had passed, they'd probably respect her wishes.

And yet...

...there was that small, instinctive part of her, the part of her that would always feel like the outsider while walking the streets of Amastral, that would always urge her back to Earth, as much as she could so hate the place sometimes. The part that would look at non-Humans, and see only the "Other" to be feared. The part that would always whisper in the back of her mind...

_"Traitor"._

She quickly realized however, that this was simply base Human nature, and that the challenge was in being the better person, despite it. And honestly? Right now...maybe she'd regret it, no doubt there would be days she would, but she realized that her sympathies were indeed trending more and more with the Asari lately. She couldn't help but feel that while they were hardly perfect, they had a LOT going on for them, and it would be in Humanity's best interest in putting aside some of it's arrogance, and taking time to learn from them.

Really, in an ideal world, she'd love to be a "citizen of the Galaxy" instead, and put all this species bullshit aside. But quickly, she realized those notions belonged in the same dustbin where ideas such as "If we give the Reapers hugs, they'll stop killing us and be our friends instead!" resided. The cold hard fact was that she was always going to have to pick a side. That's just the way life worked.

And most importantly of all: She needed this. If what Feron said was on the ball, and not him over-exaggerating, she needed this situation with her Spectre status resolved today. Right now. And as solutions went, this was really rather pleasant, compared to her only other alternative.

She hadn't realized how lost she had been in her thoughts until Tevos had called her name.

I'm sorry...was thinking. I do have one major concern, and it's...it's something that would need to be stressed hard, publicly. In absolutely no way are you going to ask me to divulge any information that I may possess that the Systems Alliance has currently deemed classified, right?"

Tevos nodded approvingly, with emphasis "Oh, of course not. I won't lie, there are probably members of our intelligence community who would wish you would reconsider that...but we would want the same respect shown, if the situation was reversed. And please...don't feel like you need to give me an answer now. I understand that you no doubt need time to..."

"Yes."

"I'm...sorry?"

"The answer is yes. To paraphrase something my wife told me a while back, I think the answer has been "Yes" for a long time. I was simply waiting for the question to be asked."

A wide, beatific smile spread across the Asari Ambassador's face. "That's...wonderful! Well, let us not waste time then." She pulled out a datapad. "I already had Thea draw up all of the appropriate legal documentation...not that I was expecting you to say yes today, but it's always good to be prepared for the contingency. I've had her make it as straightforward as possible. It's a series of documents, which will essentially indicate your confirmation and acceptance of full Asari citizenship, your official resignation as the first Human Spectre, your acceptance as the first Asari Human Spectre" she paused, at this, taking time to enjoy the moment, it seemed. "And finally...it's usually accepted practice that you be granted a commissioned rank in the Asari Commando Corps. The equivalent of your Colonel, in this case."

Shepard couldn't help but smile; in military terms, a Marine Colonel was the equivalent of a Naval Captain. In a sense, this was a direct promotion from her previous rank with the SAAF, and she couldn't help but feel that this was not a mere coincidence.

"Not that you will be doing much in the Asari military outside of your Spectre duties...not unless you wish it." the Ambassador continued "but I do want to make you aware of that. If the situation calls for it, we may need to summon you as a member of our fighting forces"

Shepard nodded "Thank you, I appreciate the honest heads up. And that seems fair. I was under the same obligation with the System Alliance."

I thought you would see it that way."

Shepard did, however, take the better part of an hour reading through all the documents, and was surprised at how easy to read the legalise was. She pressed her thumb print down on the appropriate sections...and like that, it seemed to be a done deal.

She couldn't help but notice that Tevos seemed to be...glowing triumphantly, just a little bit. She had to smile herself, it was a bit infectious.

"I would say then, that everything is in order, Colonel Shepard. We will of course have an official induction ceremony, planned for roughly a months time from today. But as of this moment, you are now an Asari Spectre. Congratulations, Colonel. I'm sure your reputation for excellent work will continue on from this point."

Shepard couldn't help but admit that a part of her was...well...pretty damn excited. She felt like she was REALLY making the right choice, that was was finding her niche, finding her place in the Galaxy once again. She didn't let herself think about the absolute hell that there would be to pay, later on. While it was permitted to hold dual citizenship on both planets, she couldn't imagine that the politicians and military aligned against her wouldn't take this as the ultimate slap in the face, the most cosmic of middle fingers.

Honestly though? She had bigger fish to fry at the moment. Now she was just going to seize the day, do what SHE wanted, to do at long last what was absolutely going to make her happiest, and get this whole situation with Feron taken care of. Then she could get back home, be there by Liara's side for as long as they both needed...and settle in to the rest of their lives.

Shepard looked up, over to the Ambassador, and saluted, an ingrained reflex born out of years of habit. Tevos smiled, but held up her hands "Such formality is not required at this time, but is appreciated. Please stop by and see Thea on your way out, she has something for you that you'll need. And now, if you'll excuse me."

* * *

"Here you go, Colonel". Thea said as she transferred a data packet to Shepard's new, Asari-issued Omni-Tool. It was at that point that she suddenly realized how much of her SAAF skillset was tech dependent between stealth operations and electronic warfare. But she was very sure that anything the Asari couldn't provide her, she could procure on the grey market.

"There's a requisition order...one of the local Asari clothing shops on the Presidium is contracted by the military to provide livery and dress uniforms, I'm sure they will get you set up with something...befitting your new role." She smiled wryly at this. "Details on your expense account...I know you have a good amount of experience providing purchase reports, so...oh! And details on your ship, of course!"

** "**Wait...wait a second? I get a ship? Like a "ship ship"? Seriously?"

Thea laughed lightly "Of course, Colonel! I mean, it's only a personal transport...highly automated and self-sufficient, only supports about 4 to 5 people, but it has a cabin for yourself, bunks, small eating lounge, an even smaller medical alcove, and a brig for bringing prisoners in. It's a standard model specifically for our Spectres, an advanced version of the design some Justicars utilize. You'll be given some leeway on customizing it to personal taste and field need, as well."

"Sorry...I'm just...wow."

"Well, as a wealthy society, we feel an obligation to make sure our huntresses and commandos are well-regulated and equipped. And finally, you'll find a small reference library on protocol, the Asari Uniform Code of Military Justice, and several other useful and related documents. And I've been instructed by the Ambassador to advise that if you have any questions, please feel to contact me personally."

"Alright then, I will...I..." She paused, tried to keep from smiling too wide. "Thank you."

"Of course. Good day, Colonel."

* * *

It was almost 1130 hours by the time Shepard made it to the seedy dive bar in Tayseri Ward. Even almost four years after the Battle of the Citadel, significant portions of the Ward remained cordoned off, and what few spots that were open tended to cater the type of people looking to meet in places without attracting a lot of attention.

"You're very late, Shepard" Feron grumbled softly, as she sat down next to him in a shadowy corner booth.

And if you're truly up for the promotion you're about to get, you damn know well why." Shepard was all smiles and good cheer, and it was only a moment or two before the Drell cracked a slight smile as well. "Yes. I suppose I should congratulate you, Colonel. Although I can't help but imagine that this is going to stir up considerable...controversy, amongst your people."

"Yeah...yeah fuck that. Probably, but today is not the day for me to worry about that. Today is the day for Holly Shepard to enjoy life and feel good about the choices she so quickly made. Tomorrow, thats the day for drinking half a bottle of whiskey, filled with regret, scrubbing at my hair while occasionally sobbing "What have I done? Oh sweet Jesus, what have I doooone?", while flopping back and forth between regret and anger." That said, she did suddenly feel a pang of guilt over not being home with Liara at the moment. She had, of course, sent word back to Thessia when she had arrived. Now that she had full access to the Spectre Office facilities once more, she could schedule a QEC session...if only her bondmate could get out of bed.

Shepard's mood diminished slightly, as she asked "Alright. So you mentioned a problem."

Feron nodded, lowering his voice, and leaning in. "I am afraid to report that over the last few months, a series of...complications have occurred. I've been shielding Liara from the worst of them, because I'm aware of how delicate her condition is. I'm also happy to report that I've managed to resolve all of these...issues. Except one. There is a human information broker, he runs a small but very effective operation, and he often exchanged information with the old Broker in the past. However, this human...he is also very ambitious, and in the wake of our operations being disrupted, as they were, he has managed to somehow discern the true identity of the current Shadow Broker. I've been attempting to stall him, but he's...essentially demanding that the entire operation to turned over to him, or he will have her killed"

Shepard's guts filled with ice for a moment. Her face tightened, assuming a deadly serious mien "Alright. Who is he, where is he, and how quickly can we get to him?"

"His name is Byron Shelly, at least that's what he calls himself. A rather flamboyant individual for a Human, I believe. He's been very good at hiding his whereabouts, but I have...suspicions. It's a matter of eliminating a series of possibilities, and I find that following up on some of these...well..it would be much quicker, and far less likely to draw his attention if a Spectre could use his or her access clearance."

Shepard blinked once "That...is the worst made-up Human name I believe I've ever heard. Jesus fuck, give me a list of what needs to get done, and I'll get it done."

Feron nodded once, tapping a few keys on his Omni-Tool to transfer the data to Shepard. "With your help, I figure we should have a good idea of where to go in a day. Two at the most. I hear you have a ship now, a fast one. That's good, we're going to need that. I WILL tell you this, it's VERY good you resolved this issue with your Spectre status this morning. Any delays would put Liara in increasing danger. When we move against Shelly, we're going to need to do it quick. Take him out fast or otherwise reason with him...I'll let you make the call on that. We need to make sure he can't follow up on any contingency plans."

Shepard hung her head for just a moment.

_"I made the right call. Above all else, I made the right call. Earth can bite my ass right now...maybe they didn't mean to, but their petty politicking put my wife's life in danger."_

"Alright. Do me a favor. Get some sort of coded message to a Matriarch on Thessia, by the name of Aethyta. I'll give you the contact info. Tell her you're a friend, but don't go into any more details than that. She has...resources, to help keep Liara safe...safer, at any rate. Without tipping anyone off, if she's being watched right now."

Feron nodded once. "Alright. I suggest we have a drink, for appearances sake, and then head off one at a time."

Shepard had water...she didn't think her stomach could take booze at a time like this, much as she might need a stiff drink. She and Feron made small talk, mostly about Drell and Hanar relations. Thane came up in brief mention. It seemed the two had briefly crossed paths once upon a time. After half an hour, Feron headed off, and five minutes after that, Shepard departed, getting back to the Embassy Level without incident.

* * *

Shepard walked back from the Spectre Office towards the main lift, having spent the last hour "pulling rank" and ordering classified information dumps and traces on several Governmental and Corporate databanks. She had stopped in to the C-Sec office briefly, hoping to have a friendly chat with Bailey, and finding him out of the office at that particular moment. As she started walking down the hallway again, she passed by the Earth Ambassador office...Udina's old office, which now belonging to...

**"EFFEGINIA ARMITAGE, EARTH AMBASSADOR" **read the nameplate.

_"Are you shitting me? EFFEGINIA? Well...fuck you Effeginia, and your stupid ass name. I just beat you at your own damn game. Wait till you get the news. And seriously, who names their child Effeginia?"._

She smirked, rather pleased with herself, the incredibly dark mood that had been following her since her meeting with Feron beginning to lift. Getting back into the Spectre game, being able to make headway with his requests...it gave her the sense of control, of having some ability to take care of things that she desperately needed right now, when every other instinct was to rush back to Thessia and guard Liara until Doomsday. She had to trust in Aethyta though...if she was being watched, suddenly heading back home might be the most dangerous course at present. All she could do now was wait for Feron to figure out the next move at this point.

Looking for something to take her mind off the current situation, she suddenly remembered she had yet to check in with the tailors and get her uniform. Making her way down to the Presidium, she strolled along slowly, unable to keep from smiling just a small bit in reminiscence, passing by the Apollo Cafe, where Liara finally met her Father for the first time...and the small overlook where she told her that she was finally ready to be with her again, after all the years apart.

In the Blue Flash Tailors, Shepard stepped up to one of the shopkeepers, "Hello, I'm here to be fitted for a uniform, please." The tailor, a rather young looking Maiden, gave Holly a somewhat cock-eyed look. "I'm sorry?" she stated, as if not quite sure she heard the request correctly.

Shepard couldn't conceive that she was actually the first non-Asari ever to join the Commandos. On the other hand...perhaps she was. The idea amused her tremendously. She punched up the display on her Omni-Tool, showing the requisition form. The tailor glanced over it, tilting her head this way and that, a sudden smile burst upon her lips.

"Oh! Oh Goddess. I'm so sorry, yes, of course, Colonel. And please, let me tell you what an honor it is to have you join our ranks at last. I...I can't believe you're in our shop! Hey...hey Yana! Come here! You need to see this!"

Yana and her sister, whom Shepard found out was named Helon, owned the shop together, having recently inherited it from their Mother. They both insisted on taking all her measurements by hand, despite the fact that a walk through a standard scanning field could have taken care of everything in a heartbeat, with far greater precision; but she didn't mind in the least. While never terribly vain, it was nice to be fussed over, especially to be fussed over by pretty girls once again.

An hour later, the data having been fed into a standard fabricator, Shepard was examining herself in a three way mirror in the back of the shop, a smile plastered almost painfully upon her face as she posed, tilting slightly, trying to look herself over from as many angles as possible. She had to admit that she looked amazingly good in Asari Commando leathers, running from foot to neck. Her own custom tailored outfit had somewhat more ornate rank markings on the shoulders. And while it probably wasn't a specific aspect of the outfit, it did spectacular things for her rear.

After spending the better part of ten minutes staring in the mirror, she stepped out of the dressing room, and announced to the sisters. "I've gotta tell you both...this is about 32 flavors of total awesomeness, right here." She spun around, eliciting a small, excited round of applause from Yana.

Suddenly in a shopping mood, she lingered about, picking out a few new pairs of shoes, boots, a couple of dresses along with a stunning greatcoat that together with her new uniform gave her what she considered the perfect mix of tasteful fashion sense and unnerving menace.

After indulging the sisters by autographing a couple of things for them, she headed out, purchases in hand, with the promise that her ceremonial dress uniform would be sent to her condo later on. She smiled up at the simulated sky of the Presidium as the sun began to dip low, signalling the start of the night time cycle. Everything seemed perfect, for just a moment or two, right here, right now. She had love, she had a baby on the way, she had a job that she was both tremendously good at and enjoyed, and she managed to do it all with style and panache.

All the consequences, piled up and waiting for her, could wait until tomorrow: Liara's frail health and the current threats to her life, the brewing shit-hurricane that awaited the news of her new status, impending "Fatherhood". But right now, she was certain none of it was beyond her capacity to handle it.

Still...as good as she felt at the moment...at all seemed terribly pale and fleeting without Liara at her side.

_"I'll be home as soon as I can, baby. I promise."_

Back to the condo, then a good meal, somewhere out on the Strip, maybe a little time at the Arcade or the Arena. Best to get in some relaxation now...she figured there was going to be a lot of hard, dirty work ahead before too long.


	15. The Political Kabuki Of The Coming Storm

**A/N:** Man. I really suck at writing antagonists. I really do. Thats' what I say to myself. I say "They're all zealots, and idiots, who can't seem to be reasoned with." So my self says back "Okay. Make that work. Make it a story about the stupidity of ignorance and zealotry. You've done enough political debates online to know how realistic that kind of thing actually is in this world. Go play A Mind Forever Voyaging Again, and tell me the Church of Gods Ear isn't coming true in it's own way in the here and now.

Then I think "Oh shit. Did I just create 'Dolores Umbridge, In SPAAAAACE!"?

So yeah, anyhow, we're going in that direction now.

A tip of the hat to **darthsquirt2**, who pointed out to me the obvious flaw in my initial plan: Shepard became a Spectre initially without a Human to vouch for her. And apparently, it was the Asari who did that. I couldn't corroborate that part of it, but I don't care. It's too cool. I'm declaring that much to be true in my universe. It seem the challenge now is how to take my continuity goofs and make it seem like that was the plan all along ;-)

Normally, this is the point where I ask for reviews, comments, critiques, and answers to the square root of negative 1, but oh god. Please stop encouraging my muse to make me write. I've done like 27K or more words in the past three or four days, and I don't think I can keep this pace up :-)

* * *

Shepard woke the next morning, once again a bit bleary-eyed. Truth be told, she perhaps had stayed out a little too late last night. Around 2200 hours, she was about ready to pack it in and call it a night, but decided to have a nightcap at the Purgatory club, intentionally failing to realize she was flirting with danger there; dressed as she was in her uniform, she immediately attracted the attention of a cadre of young Huntresses on shore leave. After their initial confusion and disbelief evaporated, they immediately demanded holding an impromptu "Welcome to the club" celebration, with rounds of drinks, wild dancing, and more than a little flirtatious banter. When it was all over, Shepard decided the fact that she had both been able to walk herself home with few problems, and did not wake up the next morning with one or more Asari in her bed really spoke to her growing and maturing as a woman.

_"It would be so easy, wouldn't it, hmmm? To let the old Scorpia persona out of the cage again. To just bathe in and soak up all this attention."_

It wouldn't last of course, but then, all the more reason to drink as deeply as she could, for as long as the "newness" lasted. Her current apparent status as a Human-shaped walking bag of Shepard-flavored Asari-Nip was...deliriously fun. But..."

_"You're not in this racket for fun. Soldier. Not anymore."_ she thought, as she looked herself over in the mirror.

And that was where it all came down to. Being a Spectre wasn't a party, in the end. Neither was being a committed partner, nor was being a Father-to-be. She made a commitment to abandon the worst of her party girl excess once she turned 25, and for the most part, she had been quite successful in living up to the expectations required of her...the greater responsibility, the decorum, the example she needed to set to those who looked to her for leadership and guidance. Not that it was an easy transition; shooting guns, romancing pretty women, and flipping Earth the bird were three big reasons she joined the SAAF in the first place, and clearly, old habits died hard.

That's when it struck her. She was a god damn microcosm for what the hell was going on with Humankind at the moment. In such a very short time, they had both done the impossible, time and time again. Having a Human appointed as Spectre, when there were other non-Council races who, after hundreds of years, still hadn't had the honor. And then obtaining a seat on said Council, when it still was a good 200 years after first contact before the Turians, the last race to earn a seat, got theirs

And it seemed that now the species as a whole was in that awkward transitional state, where it still wanted to be the absolute top dog, where it wanted the story to be All-Earth, All-The-Time...but really, it couldn't be. Humanity had, for better or for worse, acquired certain vast responsibilities expectations to go along with all the power and glory...and a sense of decorum was expected, at the very least. Should be damn well expected. And for the most part, Humanity was wanting all the fun and goodies, but not so much of the having to play nice and set a proper example for the rest of the Galaxy.

She wasn't sure this was going to change anytime soon. To be honest, she thought Udina was finally starting to "get it", and was even allowing herself to start to begrudgingly respect the man, until he showed his true colors, demonstrating why Shepard's decision to have Anderson originally appointed to the Council was the correct one all along. But like Hackett, Anderson couldn't stand the politics. It was very rare to find someone who was fit to lead while at the same time WANTED to do so.

Right then and there, Shepard recommitted herself to the paragon's path. She'd allow herself to indulge in fun time, now and again...she couldn't fully abstain, she knew herself FAR too well, but it was time to cool it again, just a bit. It was time to comport herself, not just as "an Asari Spectre who just happened to be Human", but as the woman that the entire Galaxy had looked to for leadership and inspiration. As much as she wanted to be left alone, she realized that instead of turning her back on Humanity in bitterness and frustration, to step to the side and tell the rest of the universe "Hey man, yeah, I was born Human, but I'm not like these assholes." as an excuse...that she should simply be the best Spectre, the best Human, the best sentient being she could try to be. And just...hope the example would inspire others of her species to do likewise.

As least, when it came to her public image, at any rate.

God that sounded insanely cheesy but...it was worth shooting for. She knew herself, too well, that she wasn't going to always, or maybe even often meet her own expectations, but she had to keep trying. Only now, at this moment did she start to truly regret how hastily she had acted, how rashly. She was sure, however, she would have probably made the same decision, and was sure it would work out okay in the end, but...she had to make it work better, going forward from here.

* * *

The call came to her in the Spectre office, after having spent a good couple of hours going through current case files, returning Liara's response to her last message, and let her know what was going on with her at the moment. It sounded like Liara was about to start her training with the midwife, and her heart ached with desire to be by her side. She suddenly felt very alone in the office...she had gotten so used to being able to pop down to the crew deck of the Normandy and see Liara whenever she felt like it.

A small VI appeared, and in a tinny voice, said "Colonel Shepard. A Council meeting to discuss the issue of your Spectre status is scheduled for half an hour from now. Your presence at this meeting has been requested."

_"Oh boy. Here it comes. Time to pay the piper, I guess. Well, I knew this was coming."_

She acknowledged the request, and asked the VI to please transmit her intention to attend back to the Council.

28 minutes later, Shepard stepped into the Council chambers in Citadel Tower...she hated to admit it, but she had always rather liked the look of the place. She couldn't help but think that if the Hall of Governance for the Systems Alliance Parliament had more trees and fountains in it, better laws would probably be passed. Or fewer bad ones, at least.

The Council was already seated, with Tevos T'Naori in the center, Lavark Natolian and Valam Narra, the Turian and Salarian Ambassadors respectively, seated to her left side. To her right was a Human female, who appeared to be in her 50s or 60s, with silver, short hair cut into a bit of a swept bob, and a stern expression on her face. She looked over to Shepard and narrowed her eyes further, in obvious distrust and dislike.

_"Wow..it really is Udina with a sex change, just from the looks of her."_

Holly stepped up to the central dais, saluted once, and then calmly announced "Colonel Holliandra Shepard, reporting as requested by the Council."

Lavark was the first to speak, in this case "Thank you Colonel. We may have some questions to directly address to you, but for the most part, this meeting is more ABOUT you than needing information FROM you. It was thought that since our purpose was to put the bed the issue of your Spectre status that you should at least be allowed to bear witness to it.

Shepard nodded once "Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

Really, she did. It was a lot better than having these sorts of things decided behind closed doors. The transparency was...rather refreshing, especially given how things usually happened in her life.

Tevos T'Naori, Asari Ambassador, rose, and glancing to her fellows on each side, she addressed the chamber. "Fellow members of the Citadel Council. I hereby announce the following: I have chosen to resolve the issue regarding the dispute over Holliandra Shepard's status as a Spectre. She has chosen to resign, and then I have instated her as a Spectre under the auspces of the Asari Republic. However...however, it is also my intention to demonstrate that this legal maneuver was not even necessary, that..."

Armitage narrowed her eyes, supressing the lividity of anger she was currently experiencing. "Ambassador T'Naori, I must...protest this! In the strongest terms possible. Clearly you must see that you are subverting what is an internal Human matter..."

Tevos turned to Effiginia, her face a calm pool of practiced placidity. "With all due respect, Ambassador Armitage, I feel I must remind you that Spectres are ultimately responsible only to the Council, and to no other Governmental body. The fact that you had placed Shepard's Spectre status into dispute over what appears to be purely internal matters currently occurring within your Systems Alliance was...on exceedingly shaky ground to begin with. However, we realize that given that your species has come to their seat so quickly, and are still...what is that expression...learning about the ropes? We decided to honor your request, if just because the matter was...a learning opportunity.." She cracked a very slight, warmly patronizing smile upon the Human Ambassador.

Before Armitage could spit out the bilious comment was clearly forming on her lips, the Turian Councilor interjected. "While I agree that Ambassador Armitage's disputation of continuing Colonel Shepard's Spectre status was...shall we say, problematic in it's construction, I must also express grave concerns over what you have done, Ambassador T'Naori. It sets a very troubling precedent. Imagine, if you will, if say...Saren Arterius had been disputed and temporarily relieved of duty when the Colonel first made her charges against him. Now, hypothetically, theres nothing that stops him from re-establishing his authority if he could convince another Councilor to take him on. You're introducing the potential for absolute chaos here.

The Salarian Ambassador narrowed her eyes. She glanced over at Shepard dispassionately but, spoke softly. "I agree with my Turian colleague. As much as I found Ambassador Armitage's argument specious at best, what you've done is almost as bad. At the very least you should have consulted the rest of us to discuss your intentions, before executing them.

Tevos nodded once, with a reflective, introspective look on her face. "My fellow Ambassadors. I hear, and I definitely understand your arguments and your concerns. But first off, let me point out that in Saren's case, it was an issue that was affecting galactic matters as a whole; the request to suspend his status wasn't because of internal political matters back on Palaven, it was due to the very seriously charges of collaborating with the Geth. Charges that our esteemed Colonel Shepard herself brought, and that we, at the time, failed to pay any heed. But you are right. It could POTENTIALLY set a very bad precedent for future dealings in situations such as THIS one; however, I submit one key fact in this particular case: Colonel Shepard is not, in actuality, the first Human Spectre. That would actually be Ashley Williams. Shepard herself is, and technically always has been, the first Spectre who just happens to be a Human, operating under Asari aegis."

Shepard blinked...while..the story mostly jibed, it seemed to be told to her rather differently yesterday morning. If it was simply as easy as re-establishing a pre-existing claim, why all the rigmarole in getting her to "resign" and then be "reinstated"? She dearly hoped she hadn't be played by Tevos, and bit her tongue, waiting to hear how this went down.

Tevos held up her hands, as the other Ambassadors began to murmur, Armitage loudest of all "Please, allow me to continue. It is true that the Turian Hierarchy took initial responsibility for vetting two potential Human candidates over the years...but in the end it was the Asari Republics that took responsibility for then-Commander Shepard when she was made the first Human to ever hold the position. Humanity, and I can not stress this enough, was NOT in fact a member of the Council at the time this occurred.

Unable to restrain herself, Armitage hissed out "This...is ridiculous! Clearly it was understood that once we EARNED our seat, Ambassador...that responsibility and...and control for ALL Human Spectres fell to Earth! And if Shepard wasn't under Human control this whole time, why the need for her resignation and reinstatement?!"

Shepard quirked a brow. Seems she wasn't the only one who caught on to that point.

Tevos tilted her head, looking down on Effiginia, once again cracking a slight smile. "Oh? Was it? I apologize, I am almost 878 years old, perhaps my memory is failing. Ambassadors..." and at this, she turned to Natolian and Narra, "please correct me if I am wrong, but was any sort of a legal declaration made to this effect, that the responsibility for vouching for Shepard as a Spectre passed from Asari to Human hands when they were granted their seat? Was a General Order of the Council issued or a pre-existing Order amended? Was the issue even actually discussed in a full and open session of the Council?"

The Turian Ambassador looked over to the Human and Asari women, and then shook his head. "Not that I can recall, but I am willing to have the archives check the minutes over the past few years..."

The Salarian Ambassador interjected "Well, I DO have a sharp memory, and I most definitely have no recollection of the issue being formally discussed previously. I believe that this is another issue that we should address in the very near future, in order to avoid a situation as this happening once again."

Tevos nodded to them both, and then stated "An excellent suggestion, Ambassador. But as for the other...concern...*I* simply wanted to make sure that a solid, legal framework for defending our claim existed, that there were no nebulosities left to cloud the issue...the kind that occur when we simply rely on...ah...'informal understandings', and nothing else.

Armitage just started hard, suddenly trying to look anywhere but at T'Naori.

Tevos turned to Shepard, with a kind expression, almost apologetic but... "And I apologize to you as well, Colonel. I realize I did not discuss these particular details with you at our meeting. Please believe me when I say that there were...good reasons to keep my own council, at time time. It was not meant to be disrespectful."

Shepard's eyes widened...what the hell was Tevos playing at exactly? It didn't seem to make any sense...

...and then it hit her. This was all about rubbing salt into the wound. Tevos really wanted to make this sting for Armitage, and she was so wanting to do it right here, for maximum impact, that she didn't even want Shepard to know about it until the big reveal. Hell, chances were this whole debate was just pre-planned political kabuki. All the Ambassadors probably got together over breakfast today and plotted it out.

She had to wonder...would knowing that have changed her mind? Would it have prompted her to say no? Well...probably not. If anything, she would have admired T'Naori's cleverness, as she had to do so now. And yeah, she might have mentioned the details of her meeting to someone afterwards, and then Armitage might have conceivably have found out ahead of time. Still...she signed a formal resignation from the "Human Sphere" so to speak. It was a subtle, but simultaneously powerful symbolic gesture, if nothing else. Had she known just how weak Armitage's case was in actuality ahead of time, she might not have gone quite that far. On the other hand, maybe Tevos had a point...the legal hoopjumping DID make things much cleaner...but at what ultimate cost?

Fuck...she HAD been played. Not so much to screw her over, not personally, but simply to make this hurt all the more, to Armitage and people like her. Shepard knew she should be furious at Tevos right now, but she was having trouble bringing the feeling up, almost as if her anger at Earth and her anger at the Asari Ambassador were cancelling each other out.

It was too late to second guess and hindsight-quarterback her decision now. She had to accept the fallout from here on in. She knew, however, that she was going to have to be a lot more...careful...in any future dealings with the Asari Ambassador.

"Then we are in agreement, that in this one very specific, very...special" lips twitched up in amusement at this. "case, the Asari have the right to reassert a natural claim that they have possessed all along?"

Armitage slapped the table with her open palm "We most certainly. ARE. NOT!"

Tevos looked down at the Human Ambassador, and gave a soft sigh, like a patient Mother working with a petulant child. "Ambassador. Please...there is no need for anger. Let us sit and hold an official vote on the matter. As a party with a conflict of interest, I shall abstain, of course, and allow the three remaining members to vote on how to resolve this one particular, unique issue. I then suggest that we schedule a special session to deliberate on a formal framework for dealing with these matters in the future."

The other two members of the Council nodded in a conciliatory fashion. Effiginia simply trembled for a moment, before speaking with dangerous softness. "Very well."

The Turian Ambassador took the lead "In the matter of this Council recognizing that the Asari have a valid, legal, and unbroken claim to the responsibility of aegis over Spectre Colonel Shepard, all in favor, please indicate 'aye'" He and the Salarian Ambassador then raised their hands.

"All opposed?" he continued.

Armitage, now very red in the face, raised her hand for the record.

"The vote is 2 to 1 in favor. The ayes have it. The Citadel Council hereby recognizes the pre-existing Asari claim over the Colonel. Ambassador Armitage, you may submit a new disputation, but please keep in mind that it should pertain specifically to issues affecting Galactic matters at large, and not simply to internal political issue of your native species."

Effiginia turned her head very slowly in Shepard's direction, and in her crisp, British tone, she stated "Comm...COLONEL Shepard...I very much expect you to come see me in my office, after this meeting has adjourned!"

Tevos frowned at this, for the first time since the meeting started. "Colonel Shepard, as a Spectre, you are free to disregard this request if you should so choose." Then turning to Armitage, she said, "I will not have you spark some sort of vendetta behind closed doors, Effiginia. You're a member of the Citadel Council. It's damn well time you began to act like it."

At this, Shepard couldn't help but visibly wince.

_"I take it back. She's not a female Udina. Donnel wouldn't have allowed himself to be goaded so easily. This woman is clearly in over her head. Wonder how she connived to get the job anyhow..."_

She couldn't believe it...she actually felt kind of...bad. For the Ambassador. Yeah, maybe Humanity needed it's nose tweaked...but that was downright cruel, the way it had been done. And that could just make the situation worse, down the road. It was the worst kind of situation, the ones that Shepard hated dealing with the most, where she could find sympathy with both sides.

_"I need to have a talk with this woman. Maybe I can get her to see reason, get her to start off on a better foot, going forward. God knows I've earned the right. Time for me to take responsibility."_

Time to tilt against the windmills once again.

* * *

At first, Shepard had considered camping in front of Armitage's office door until she finally came out of Council. Then realized that as a Spectre, it was practically effortless to order AVINA to put a track on the Ambassador's movements and inform her when she was 5 minutes away from arrival, THEN hang around; that way, she could get some actual work done, general preparations for her upcoming mission, finish up her requisitions and collect her gear...while at the same time giving the impression she had dutifully waited for Armitage's arrival the whole time.

Effiginia walked up slowly through the hallway, her already sour expression deepening when she spotted Holly. She waited until she was standing right in front of her before speaking.

"Come to gloat then, have you?"

"No. Hey...look. I'm still not happy with this campaign to drag me through the mud that's going on back on Earth, the plan to cage me up and wheel me out when it suits political need...but that doesn't mean that what went down in there sat well with me either. So...lets talk. I'm not expecting us to be friends or bury the hatchet, but I'm thinking it wouldn't hurt to clear the air and try to understand each other."

Armitage stared hard, disbelievingly at first...but slowly, her expression seemed to soften, to one of almost begrudging respect. "Alright then...Colonel. Lets head into my office."

Holly followed her inside, waiting respectfully for her to be seated. She paced slightly, slowly, trying to extract the best, most carefully chosen words from the mental miasma storming through her mind at the moment.

"Okay, look...a lot of what I'm going to say is probably going to be hard for you to hear, but it's going to be hard for me to tell you. And first off, Tevos was catty, but you have to understand; the last Ambassador from Earth that she worked with, he ended up pointing a gun at her...right before I had to blow his brains out. You know, when he was busy trying to get them all assassinated by the Cerberus troops that he had sold them, and by extension the rest of the Galaxy out to? The man was a traitor, during a time of war, a war for ultimate survival. And whether it's fair or not, Udina's shame stains the seat you're sitting in right now. Your job is extra tough now, because of that. Try not to let it get you down though."

Armitage leaned back, lacing her fingers together, as she appraised Shepard with an odd mixture of contempt and confusion. "I think, Colonel...that despite his flaws, Donnel Udina was a patriot who loved his planet, and his species. His only crime was taking it to what...some might consider the extreme."

Shepard sighed, harder than she meant to. This was not going to be pleasant. She then started to talk, her hands moving around to animatedly emphasize her words as she did. "No...see. That's the thing. Benedict Arnold was a Tory who felt that he was doing the right thing by handing West Point over to the British. Udina was Benedict Arnold, except the British, in this case, were ruthless criminals who used Reaper technology to corrupt and control their troops because they themselves had already been taken over by the Reapers. And I know better than most because I was the idiot who worked WITH this ruthless criminals once upon a time myself. The only kindness I can POSSIBLY extend to the man is that maybe he himself was Indoctrinated. That at least would exonerate his actions to some extent. And that's another thing...Cerberus, and groups like them, also stain Humanity's image. They think they're fighting for a better life for all of us, but all they're doing is dragging us down."

"And what would you have us do, Colonel? Lie down so meekly, fade back, and beg for scraps from these aliens who hold themselves so arrogantly above us?"

There was a soft clapping noise as Shepard palmed her face with both hands. "Fuck. Okay." She dropped her hands as she approached the desk, leaning over. "This. This this this this this." she started to stab the desk with each word. "Drives me up. The fucking. Wall." She slumped her head for a moment, then looked up. "Let me tell you something that's going to surprise the silver off your hair: We. Are fucking awesome. Seriously. Humanity. Fucking awesome. You can quote me on that. We are apparently a force unlike anything else the Galaxy has ever seen before. Seriously, I'm an atheist, and yet I'm still waiting for the Heavens to open up, God to descend down on a white fluffy cloud, pat us on the head and say "Good job, Humanity! You're a winner. Who's my special little snowflakes? You are! Yes you are...yes you are!"

Armitage rose up. "Do not mock me or God, Colo.."

Shepard frowned, counter-cutting Armitage off, but still maintaining a rather soft tone of voice. "Hey...let me finish here. Please. Because I am being incredibly, deadly serious. You want to know WHY I think that Humanity is Gods gift to the Universe? Because I seem to have no other damn choice. Look at us. Not 50 years, not 50 years since we lucked out, dug up a Prothean cache, made their tech work for us, got a Spectre assigned, and a seat on the Council. That has never been done. Never. EVER. The Turians? I love those guys, they are dedicated, they are resourceful, they have a strong moral backbone...for the most part...and they are smart. And it took them 200 long and bloody years kicking Krogan ass before they finally got their seat. The Asari and the Salarians? Formed the fucking club together, so they don't even count. Hundreds of years, Ambassador. Hundreds of years, the Turians waited. And hundreds of years all the other coulda-beens and never-will-bes of the universe have waited. The Volus, the Hanar, Elcor. All great people, all making their own fantastic contributions to life, the universe, and everything. But they just don't seem to have what it takes. We do. We won. We said "Damnit, we've barely cut our teeth on this whole Galactic Community BS, but we see the shiny gold ring, and by God, we will have it. We really had no right to expect to grab it, not when every other race had tried and failed, but somehow. WE. DID. IT. So you'll excuse me...I absolutely despise the arrogance of some Humans, that we're the tops above all others, but I must concede the fucking point to them. Doesn't mean I go and rub it in everyone's face though"

"Are you going somewhere with this, Shepard, or are you just going to continue to ramble?"

Snorting with disgust, Holly threw up her hands. "Fine, you want my point? STOP it! Knock the shit off! And by "shit" I mean this pathetic victim act too many Humans insist on perpetuating! This "poor us, we have to fight and scratch and kick for every little good thing we have." schtick. YOU WON. You fucking WON. WE won The Universe. Congratu-fucking-lations. Humanity has achieved, in the blink of an eye compared to all these other races, the Ultimate Dream. And it wasn't easy. We played by the rules. We did the impossible. We fought harder and longer. It wasn't handed to us on a plate, we earned it. But guess what? All that glory? All that power? It comes with RESPONSIBILITY, too. Being on the Council, it isn't about "Lets get what we can just for Earth." It's "Let us be Earth's voice in guiding the rest of the Galaxy into a more fair and equitable age." We are NOT the fucking victims anymore, Ambassador, we are the Champions. And for Gods sake, start fucking acting like it. Start comporting yourselves with dignity. A lot of people bled and died...so you could sit in that chair today, and have Tevos rip your heart out and show it to you."

Armitage very slowly rose to her feet, meeting Shepard in the eyes. "And just who do you think you are, Colonel, thinking to pass judgement on Humans, on ACTUAL Humans who..."

"You know who I fucking AM? I am the Tiger Mama, bitch! If I'm kicking you in the ass, if I'm yelling at you, and coming off as insulting, it's because I'm trying to give you tough love here, because after almost 15 years in the military, it's all I KNOW how to do. You know what I see when I look at Humans who play the "Oh, we must fight to gain our respect! We're still so oppressed!" card? I see the whiney child making excuses! You're the kid running home to me and saying "Mommy! I got a B on my report card!" And I'm the one going "B? B?! Why didn't you get a fucking A+? God knows if you just pushed yourself hard enough, you could do it.' And if I sit in judgement of you, it's because I'm the one who did most of the heavy lifting that got Humanity that Council seat in the first place. *I* get to judge because *I'M* uniquely qualified to do it. And believe me, if you think I'm rambling now, you haven't heard how long I could take rambling off my achievements."

Armitage trembled once again, just a bit, the adrenaline once again building up in her. She suddenly turned away, glancing out the window behind her. Though it took her a minute, she finally found her voice. "You think it's so simple, don't you? You say things like "We've won" and "The prize is ours" and screech and yell about duty like some self-absorbed trollip. If anything, Colonel Shepard, our duty is to fight harder than ever now. Our duty is to capitalize on our gains. Our responsibility is to ourselves, to be vigilant for threats to our Human way of life, because oh yes, Shepard, they...are...out...there. You don't think all that we have accomplished, all that we have demonstrated we can accomplish...you really don't think that doesn't make us a bigger target than ever? You don't think the daggers are drawn, sharper and keener than ever before?"

Shepard seemed practically crestfallen at this point. "Oh...God. You don't...you just don't understand, do you?"

Armitage scowled at the reflection of Shepard in the window "No, Colonel, YOU don't understand. You know what your problem is? I think I've finally figured it out. When Admiral Yamamaru first told me about you, I thought you were a loose cannon who felt she was above the law, a ruthless thug, a brute...but one who got results. One that we could shape and mold to our purposes, and who would understand the importance in that! But no, you" she turned, holding out an arm, pointed in her direction. "you're worse, you're far, far more dangerous. Because you actually believe this garbage, that somehow we can just let down our guard, and it won't cost us dearly. You're naivete is shocking...absolutely shocking.I find it inconceivable that someone with your military training and experience could be so taken in by the pretty lies and soft comforts these aliens offer, to taint us...specifically seeking to tear down this strength of character, this DIVINE destiny of Humanity, that you CLAIM to know, to understand, to defend. To dilute us, to take away that which does make us great and unique!"

She turned, placing her hands down on the desk, meeting Shepard in the eyes again. "And yet, like a blind squirrel casting about for nuts, you were right about one thing: We ARE special. We ARE better. We are CHOSEN. Clearly God has shown our path, and He tests us each and every day. And you...you who could be so great, who have done great things for Humanity...oh yes...I have no problems giving you your just due, Holliandra Shepard. You ARE great. Yet allow your talents to be put to such...insidious use. Luring others towards the same doom you yourself so eagerly, wantonly embrace. All it took was those...those unnatural Asari appealing to your...disgusting behavior, and now you're at their beck and call..."

Shepard nearly smashed the deck to splinters with her fists in response, Armitage jumping back in instinctive fright. "NOT! ANOTHER! WORD! You don't say another damn thing about the Asari, you fucking bigot. When Humanity was casting about in the Dark Ages, believing the world was flat and the Sun orbited the Earth, the Asari were at the technological and cultural forefront of a massive interstellar community. If they have a lot of influence and power, it's because they're good. Just like us, they are DAMN good. But guess what...they've earned that respect. Not DEMANDED that it be handed to them, simply to soothe their petty egos, their pathetic neuroses, and their goddamn Napoleonic complexes." She rose up, "Fuck you. I came here trying to help you out. I wasn't expecting you to see reason, I wasn't expecting you to say "Hallelujah, Shepard! I see the light!" But I was expecting to give you something to think about. Maybe help you temper what I thought was just simple ignorance, of a petty bureaucrat out of her league. But no...I can't give you anything to think about when you won't even THINK, period."

She started to turn away, about to walk away, when Armitage called out. "Shepard, don't you just walk away! It's still not too late for you. It's still not too late to repent! The balance of power changes in a heartbeat, Colonel. You think Humanity has achieved greatness by now? Just you wait...just you wait until see what's coming. I pray that you come to your senses before it's too late."

Shepard barely heard the last part of it, already down the hall, Armitage's ranting still filling her ears.

* * *

_"Stupid...stupid stupid. I can't believe how...how badly that went."_

This as madness. Pure madness. What the hell was going on? This wasn't just some well-seasoned politician with tunnel vision who needed to have their stubbornness worked away at. This wasn't Ashley Williams or poor, departed Pressly. Their initial xenophobia could be excused, born out of ignorance as it was, but they at least were open minded enough to admit they were wrong when they went out into the REAL world, and saw what the big picture was all about.

This woman was a loon, like the kind of brain dead, brainwashed idiots that screwed the old United States up, driving it into the ground with their zealotry until it finally broke up into different regional powers. How the...how the hell did she get into a position like this?

Shepard leaned against the wall for a moment, a sick feeling in her guts. Something didn't add up, something about all of this, the entire situation, felt so very wrong, in such a deep and primitive way. She hoped against hope, that in the end, this was just a set back, this was just Humanity working out the trauma it had suffered over the past year. That this was simply the one step back to the two steps forward. Because if Armitage was the face of Earth political future...then it was going to be a very dark time, because if that same ignorant stupidity that had been whipped into a terrible frenzy so many times over the past few centuries was coming back...oh...

...God help us all. Everyone in the Galaxy.

The comm in her Omni-Tool buzzed, and she begged for it to be Feron. Fortunately, she got her wish.

"Shepard. I've got a location. We need to go as soon as possible."

"Thank God, Feron. I so seriously want to head off and shoot people. It's a far, far simpler lot than the political crap swirling around the Council at the moment."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Oh...you...you have no idea. Okay..okay look. Give me...ah...two hours. I've got a plan. I need to pick some things up, get some shit ready, pick up my go bag, so to speak. Trust me on this, we need to play this one canny."

"Obviously. Alright. Don't take too long. I'll meet you on the Docking Level, two hours."

"See ya then."

Shepard tried to take a few steps for a moment, and it felt like walking through quicksand...but after a few seconds, she got her steady footing once again. She pushed out thoughts of everything but the mission at hand. She needed to get this situation with Feron and this Shelley freak sorted out. Then needed to get home. Then she needed to have this kid. Then she needed to do whatever it took to keep the Galaxy safe.

Safe for her bondmate. Safe for her little girl. Safe from what she feared was the coming storm.


	16. Love And Other Space-Age Derangements

**A/N: **As one of you out there just said to me: No TV and No Beer make Hugo go crazy.

So I had a little bit of an authorial freak out last night. I had gotten very concerned the story was going totally off the rails.

Well, it wasn't, but I was worried it was. Okay, it DID need to be reigned in a little bit, because I'm starting to flirt with story creep a bit. But after talking to Shepard and Hackett about it for a while, they've assured me they're going to take care of the situation shortly. I'm told bids for the head of Effiginia Armitage will start at 5,000 credits. ;-)

Oh, and of course, the people who lent a sympathetic ear, gave me assurance tempered with honest critique, and helped me settle down. Thank you all very much.

In the meantime, I really could use a little more comedy after the drama, huh? So here's some more comedy, after the drama.

P.S. Can you guess what the spell checker on my iPad attempted to turn the word "nictitating" into?

* * *

Shepard gave her best smoldering look towards Patel, the Spectre Ops Office VI, her lips painted in a shade she affectionately referred to as "fonicate-me fuchsia", along with blush, eyeliner and and mascera. Her hair had been teased up with hairspray in impromptu fashion, but it still gave her a wild, untamed, sensual look. Patel gave a flash, prompting Shepard to pull the front zipper down on her Commando uniform, to just underneath her breasts. The VI flashed once more, as she transitioned to the next shot, looking over her shoulder, rear thrust out slightly. And then again, body turned to the side, one shoulder exposed slightly.

Shepard posed a good 12 times and quickly selected all but 4 of the snapshots that had been taken. She smiled, highly pleased, as she composed a quick text message attachment.

_"Hey pretty Bluebird,_

_We should totally have sex, like right now! Is what I would say, if I were home. I miss you so much. This has been a lot rougher than I imagined, this trip away from home, away from you. I'm afraid I've been a bit of a bad girl...and there are some issues back on Earth brewing that I haven't helped, but I'm going to hope for the best. Anyhow, here's something to keep you hungry. I know I shouldn't be trying to raise your blood pressure up, but I hope they will at least raise your spirits._

_I love you forever,_

_xoxox_

_Holly"_

She tapped out a send command, and then gave a bit of a jump as she heardd someone clear their throat behind her. She turned, and found herself face to face with...

...it was Ashley, armed crossed, head tilted slightly.

"Would you two like to be alone?"

Not missing a beat, she simply zipped her uniform back up most of the way. " If you must know, Patel was just taking some pictures. Which I have just sent to my darling wife on Thessia. Which I imagine she will then look over longingly, lustfully, and if I've done my job right, possibly gratify herself to. Sexually, that is."

Ashley didnt say anything for a moment, and then finally responded, a rising note of anger in her voice "Shepard...what the...FUCK were you thinking?

"Honestly? I thought it would be a lovely, heartfelt gift. I mean, maybe I should have done it in my condo, but I was going for a certain verisimilitude..."

"NO, asshole."

Ashley hit her on the shoulder, but not nearly as hard as she was expecting.

"You damn well know what I mean!"

Her mood deflated, Holly sighed and straightened up. "Look Ashley, I know you may be feeling betrayed, but I want you to now that...well damnit look, I'm not going to just apolo..."

"Betrayed? Why the fuck should I feel betrayed? Because you're in the Asari military now? Big fucking deal, boss-lady, you were halfway in their door for a while now. No, I'm pissed at you, you dumb bitch, because of how quickly you ran into it, without considering the best way to actually do it. God damnit, Holly, these...these people, the way you did this, you just played right into their hands! Do you know how bad they can make this look back home?"

Shepard just stood there, listening impassively. To be certain, this was not the conversation she had been anticipating, not exactly.

"These assholes, did you know they actually OWN Westerlund News? Political party, and they own a damn media network. And hell, I don't have to tell you how many stupid assholes actually LISTEN to Westerlund like it was gospel!"

Not speaking for the better part of a minute, Holly finally replied "Wow...I ah...I was expecting you to be angry...but this?"

"Oh, what, I'm supposed to be kicking your ass for quote-unquote turning your back on Earth? I'm supposed to rake you over the coals for 'diluting the purity of Humanity', or whatever extremist bullshit? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, it hurt at first. It was an instinctive reaction. I felt like "Shit! I just cant believe Humanity lost her...we lost our best player." But guess what. As much as I love Earth, as much as I root for the home team...I finally figured out a while back you stopped 'belonging' to ONLY Humankind. And that...it wasn't a bad thing."

Ashley stepped up closer, and added, in a softer tone. "I am NOT the same person I was 4 years ago. You should know that by now."

"Ash, look...no offense, but not all that long back, we were still having trust issues. I mean, we WERE pointing firearms at each other, over a year ago."

Ashley reached out, placing both hands on Holly's shoulders. "Do you know the minute,I mean the exact moment I trusted you, implicitly and eternally?"

"I feel like I should, but I'm sorry, I'm not sure..."

"When you, and me, and Tali, we we running through the battlefield, and we were so close to death, every step of the way. And then Tali and I did almost bite it, and you called down for evac."

_"I need to know somebody's getting out of this alive."_

"When I watched you run off, alone towards certain death, certain death you were willing to face to save everybody on Earth, everyone in the Galaxy...I literally prayed to God, and I told Him that if you came out of this one alive...I would follow you into Hell itself. That you would always be the leap of faith I would be willing to take." Straightening up suddenly, she then added "Ma'am."

Shepard felt a knot in her chest that she hasn't realized she had been holding onto loosen...she suddenly pulled her fellow Spectre into a hug.

Ashley hugged back, and then pulled away. "I still don't understand why you jumped so quick, the way you did, dummy! That's not...okay, well maybe sometimes you do act rashly. But why this? Why couldn't you wait and figure out how to do this in a...I don't know...nicer? Way?"

Shepard pondered the quickest, best way to explain. "It's Liara. It's not good she's...in danger. In more ways than one. I'm actually about to go out the door on a mission, and she needs me to be a Spectre, in order for me to be able to save her."

And like that, there was no more distance between them over the issue.

"Cool, where are we going?"

"Well, I'M going to a colony in the Attican Traverse. Kalypso. You need to stay here, Ash."

"Bull-fucking-shit, *Colonel*. If Liara's in trouble, we're doing this together."

Shepard smiled very softly, feeling buoyed. She rested a hand on her friend's arm and said in a soft voice "Ash...I'm sorry. Believe me when I say that under normal circumstances, it would be me and you kicking ass up and down the Galactic Spiral Arm. But this is a bad situation. I think I'm being watched. It's a possibility, at any rate. I need to go to ground, at least for a day or two. I promise you, the next time I set off for action and excitement, you'll be right by my side."

Ashley sighed hard, not pleased, but...she nodded once, understanding, or at least accepting. "Alright. I'm going to hold you to that."

"You bet. Although...you want to do me a favor while I'm gone?"

"Name it."

"Drop in on Ambassador T'Naori. Quietly. Tell her that it would be...prudent to not be so vicious to Auntie Effie. No...wait. You know what? Remind her she owes me one...ask her to start publicly trying to bury the hatchet with her. Nothing obsequious or anything, but have her try to be...respectable about it."

"Alright...what are you thinking with this?"

"War on for hearts and minds, Ash. I made the mistake of thinking I could step out of the limelight and everyone would quickly forget I existed. I realize that all my talk about responsibility and power...includes me. Don't get me wrong, I still want to be left alone, but I realize now's not the time to shoot for it. Because this thing on Earth? If we can nip it in the bud somehow? Easier now, harder later. And we either win it with one big thing, or we win it with a thousand smaller ones."

They started to walk out of the office and down the hallway. Ashley suddenly nodded and smiled. "Yeah. And...uh..I'll start calling friends. Especially the ones I know who are more...sympathetic to pro-Human causes. Tell them what Ashley Williams, FIRST Human Spectre to, y'know, actually be appointed by a Human Ambassador, thinks about the situation with Holliandra Shepard." She followed that up with a wink.

Clapping Ashley on the arm, Shepard nodded, smiled, and started to walk away "Now you're thinking. See ya soon, LTC."

"Yeah, enjoy your date, Princess."

Flipping the bird as she walked away, Shepard couldn't help but smile. Seeing that Ashley was actually growing as a person, and not just playing to type as she feared she would...it had been a major emotional victory for her. Humbling too. Hopefully Hackett would be almost as understanding.

She felt like she was finally starting to get some control of the situation again.

* * *

Sighing with exaggerated bliss, Holly sank into the plush, leather upholstered seats of her new Asari Light Transport. A white vessel, possessing the clean, almost organic lines and lighted trim shared amongst most crafts built by the species.

"I don't think I've been more sexually attracted to a spaceship in my life."

"Is that why you got painted up, then?" Feron was there, strapped in to the co-pilots chair in the front control room.

"No, I'm seriously I mean, the Normandy will always be my first true love, but right now? This ship? I'm about to ask EDI and Joker if they swing."

"If you're not too lust-blinded, Shepard, we should leave immediately"

"Alright, alright...let me just get the system initialized." She tapped a few keys, and the ship hummed to life, lights brightening and then dimming again from the surge of initial power. A holographic representation of an Asari head formed, and spoke in a voice similar to AVINA's

"Welcome Colonel Shepard. I am Mandala, your ship's VI."

"Hey! Guess what? I'm calling you Mandy now."

"Of course, Colonel. I can respond to whatever appellations you wish."

The VI paused for a moment, then said "Ownership of this vessel has now officially transferred to you. As a function of transfer, you are allowed one name change on the registration. Do you wish to access this option at this time?"

Shepard's eyes lit up, her jaw dropped, and she turned her face to Feron in a silent squeal of glee.

"Yes, please!"

She turned to the screen and noticed the currently registered name was "Starblade". Pecking at the keys on one of the consoles, she quickly deleted it, and typed in something else, clicking on several confirmation prompts before Mandala said "Welcome, Colonel Shepard and guest, to the ARV _Modesty Blaise_.

Feron quirked a single brow, but said nothing.

Shepards hands began to fly over the console with practiced skill, making a few quick interface modifications, before calling up a star chart of the Galaxy.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm using my Spectre authority to file a fraudulent flight plan to Kalypso Colony."

"Why?"

"Because I spent all day telling everyone that I could in casual conversation that I'm going on a mission to Kalypso Colony."

"But we are, in actuality, heading to Omega."

"Yup."

Feron paused, then suddenly nodded. "I see. You have more experience with misdirection tactics than I was lead to believe."

"Top of my class in Infiltration for N7. This is just another kind of diversion, is all." She submitted the flight plan, and then turned fully in the seat. "By the way, Omega? Seriously? How was that not just the obvious choice right off the bat?

"Believe it or not, Shepard, a not insignificant amount of crime in the Galaxy is based nowhere near Omega. It was too important not to be absolutely certain. If we made the wrong choice, and tipped our hand..."

"Yes, okay. Point taken. Anyhow, we are going to make a couple of stops to legitimize our fake heading. At Hayabusa Station, we'll need to discharge the drive, and that will keep us there about 8 hours. It's a good place because Omega is antispinward, and they would be expecting us to go directly spinward instead, towards the colony."

"All well and good, but what about our transponder? Someone might spot that on our approach."

"Not if we spoof the output so we come up as a Volus Courrier. Or something about our size and mass, roughly."

"The equipment required for that is incredibly illegal."

"Wow, you really ARE the fucking Shadow Broker now."

He chuckled with amusement, nodding, playing along "Oh yes. And, I can think of AT LEAST 12 systems where its use would get you the death sentence."

"12! Holy shit, Shadow Broker! I better turn myself in and hope for leniency then. Oh look!" She pointed to her reflection in the front windshield. "There's a Spectre!" She then turned slightly to the left, assumed a sexy, almost vacuous look on her face, biting down on one finger, before talking to her reflection in a breathy, Marilyn Monroe voice.

"Excuse me, Miss Spectre! I'm a bad baaaad girl. I just acquired and plan to utilize an incredibly illegal piece of infiltration equipment. I need to be...PUNISHED." The last word said in a very deep, throaty tone.

Feron only blinked his nictitating membranes on his eyes. "Shepard."

She then turned to the right, and in a more gruff tone, said "Oh yes, I'm very skilled...in administering corrective discipline."

Feron spoke again, more impatiently "Shepard..."

She turned to the left again, and once again squeaked "Oh! Yes yes yes! Whip me, beat me, make me falsify credit transfers!"

"Shepard! I believe your point has been made."

Immediately assuming a completely casual tone and demeanor, Holly began the undocking and takeoff sequence. "Well alright then, Shadow Broker. Lets fly."

_The sooner I can deal with this, the sooner I can make sure Liara will be safe. Safer. The sooner I can finally go home._

After a minute or two, once they had started to fully depart from the Citadel, Feron turned to her again and asked "Are you always this insufferable?"

"Only when I'm in love, baby. Only when I'm in love."


	17. Paradox

**A/N: **You ever wonder if such a thing as "reverse writers block" exists? All week, I've been wondering if I have that. I think I may simply have to tell myself "Okay, no more than a chapter or two a week." and just be disciplined about it *laugh*

Anyhow, it was time to see what was up with Liara, even though it's going to be a while before I can get her and Shep back together. A shame, I miss writing them in the same scene. But time enough...

As a side note, part of this story is based on a plot outline I once did for a story called "Buddha Of The Crocodile People", which oddly enough was based on a dream my Mother once had, that she then told me about.

The song Cosira tortures her sister with is "Honnou" by Shiina Ringo. (or, at least she sings it.)

* * *

It was no mean feat to get into the ductwork above the penthouse apartment undetected, in the highest residential tower in Amastral, but Zendi D'Ilos was being paid good money to make precisely that happen. Or rather, that she ultimately ended up in the bedroom currently occupied by Liara T'Soni, sans her bondmate. According to the fixer who provided the contract, the "great Holliandra Shepard" was apparently half a Galaxy away, wrapped up in following a false lead to track down the originator of the hit. Double-blind as the system was, she had no idea who the actual client was, and frankly, she couldn't care less. Money was money, and a kill was a kill.

And Zendi did so love a challenge.

She had spent the better part of the night there, making absolute certain that the target had been left alone. But two hours away from dawn, the time had finally come to strike. She checked and rechecked the toxin loaded in the hypojet injector In the target's weakened condition, a lower dose would be all that was required, overtaxing her heart, and inducing cardiac arrest. Quickly dissipating from the blood, the cause of death would be almost impossible to detect, and under a post-mortem medical scan, would seem like natural causes.

But the message would still be sent.

She worked for the next 45 minutes ever so gently, ever so slowly unsealing the grating, and lowering herself down by biotics and a thin cable. She smiled as she finally reached the floor, looking over the prone form of Doctor T'Soni in her bed, curled up and covered by the blankets. Zendi paused, a cruel smile blossoming over her lips as she savored the moment, moving the hypojet into position, poised to strike.

Suddenly the blankets were thrown off, momentarily catching her off guard. By the time she quickly ripped through them with her biotics, she saw a young Asari dressed in a short negligee, pointing a silenced pistol in her direction.

"Deadbitchsayswhat?" Cosira quickly, playfully inquired.

"Wh-?"

A single bullet shot forth, catching Zendi between the eyes, bringing an end to a 257 year career.

Cosira leapt catlike from the bed and onto the dead body, making sure the kill was true. She was quickly satisfied with the answer.

Her sister, Pallana, stepped out of the closet from where she was providing backup. "Huh. Guess Aethyta wasn't wasting our time after all."

Cosira suddenly lit up, and in a gleeful, sing-song voice said "Sister Dear, guess who I jusssst kiiiiiiillled? I think it's Zendi D'Ilos!"

"Huh. No kidding." Pallana rubbed her chin for a moment in contemplation as she looked over the corpse. "You must be absolutely wet with self-satisfaction..."

Cosira snapped "Hey! Damnit! Have a little respect. She was an artist! She had a...a...rare talent. I always wanted to meet her, ever since I was a little girl." She tilted her head down for a good 3 or 4 seconds in solemn respect, then lifted it up, a childlike smile on her face

"Hey! I wonder what she's got in her pockets?!"

The other Asari sighed heavily, rolling her eyes. "Just bring her to the bathroom, would you? We've got a body to dissolve now."

Cosira quickly had D'Ilos stripped naked...she'd go through her newly acquired spoils later. Grunting slightly, and swinging the corpse into a fireman a carry, she started to sing brightly

_"Yakusoku wa iranai wa/Hatasarenai koto nado daikirai na no"_

Pallana called out, testily "Goddess, Cosira, what the hell is that song you're singing? Doesn't sound like any language I know..."

"This classical music from Earth called J-Pop. Have you heard it before? I can't get this song out of my head."

"Fuck. I swear. You pick up THE most annoying habits from Humans."

Cosira continued singing regardless, as she headed into the bathroom.

_"Zutto tsunagarete itai wa/Asa ga konai madobe wo motomete iru no"_

She then dumped the body into the tub. As her sister began carefully pouring in the chemical agent that would completely dissolve the body in less than 15 minutes, Cosira mused.

"I guess this is what they mean when they say you should never meet your heroes."

* * *

Liara smiled softly, sitting up in the bed in the room she and her Father had rented for the night. She was looking at the pictures that Shepard had sent her, before heading off...somewhere. She didn't know the details, other than some sort of complication had occurred with the transition to making Feron the new Shadow Broker. In her heart of hearts, she suspected that the process would not be so cut and dried; still, she couldn't help but feel that her bondmate was keeping something major from her...although she had to admit that in her current state of health, she could hardly blame her for doing so.

She bit down on her bottom lip as she flipped to the next snapshot. While she didn't trust her condition enough to attempt a passionate lovemaking session, she wished that Holly was here, so that she could at least chance it. It was difficult, being apart from her this long, with an undetermined amount of time until they would meet again. But she would soon have enough to occupy her thoughts.

Today was the day she was meeting with the midwife that her Father had contacted on her behalf. Although she had been warned that the woman would be unlike any midwife she would ever meet.

Aethyta walked into the room, having gone down into the lobby of the hotel they were staying at to make a call. The monastery that they were traveling to was in a remote, mountainous region of Thessia, and she had insisted that she and her daughter travel to the nearest lodgings and stay the night, before making their way there.

Liara couldn't help but notice that her Father, who had seemed somewhat distracted during the trip, was in a positively vibrant mood when she walked back in the door.

"You seem quite...pleased."

"Oooh! Nothing special, Little Wing. Just a...problem, I had. Some friends of mine were able to find a solution for it. And frankly, I could say the same thing about you. I guess that nasty tasting eezo and plant paste that quack V'Lork is making you eat is actually helping."

"Yes, actually, it's made quite a difference. But I've also received some other boosts to my morale recently."

She stole another glance at the datapad in her hand.

Aethyta tilted her head "Yeah? Good news from the bond-o, huh?" She leaned over to take a look, causing Liara to blush and jerk the pad back. Aethyta, however, had seen enough.

"Holy shit! Is that Shepard?" She stood up, and shook her head, but smiled all the same. "You're lucky I'm her Father-in-Law, baby girl. Otherwise I might...well...anyhow."

Liara blushed, turning the pad off, and tried to quickly change the subject. "So...the Order of Develia...I suppose we might as well start heading to the monastery now."

Aethyta nodded, helping to lift Liara up, and then get dressed. She smiled softly, and said in a heartfelt tone "Thank you...by the way. I appreciate this. Look, I know, just like last time, V'Lork has her own midwife in mind to use. But I swear to you...I promise you, the Develian followers...they do some amazing things. I know it isn't all "scientific and procedural" and "clinically tested" like the Board-certified midwives are, but I spent some time once in one of their other Temples. And I'm as convinced now as I was then that if THEY had been the ones to help Tevala...she...well...it would have gone differently."

Turning around to face her once the loose dress had zipped up, Liara hugged her father and said "It's important to you. And the way I see it, it doesn't really do me any harm to at least see what they offer. If they don't have my confidence, there's still enough time for me to work with V'Lork's choice."

Aethyta grumbled very softly, not exactly wanting to consider that possibility. Instead, she turned away slightly and softly. "Hold on. I'll go get the hoverchair, and we'll get you there as soon as we can."

* * *

It was just past midday by the time the pair arrived in the receiving courtyard of the monastery, isolated as it was in the crook of the Vendekek mountain range on one of Thessia's northern landmasses. Liara glanced around, curiously, the archaeologist in her noting the distinct differences in the architecture here. It seemed far more angular, less flowing than usual Asari design, composed of rectangular pillars, perfectly square lawns that were neatly trimmed, square blocks for sitting...indeed,the semi-circular stairs were the lone curved feature. It somehow gave everything a timeless, eternal feeling.

The air was cool and fresh, and Liara pulled her jacket a bit more tightly around her as her Father pushed the hovering chair carting her up, in order to spare her body the strain. There was a single Asari there, dressed in a long shrift of pink cotton, with little other ornamentation on her, save a bracelet of jade beads.

"Thank you, First Vediya. Thank you, for agreeing to see us. To see if you can help my daughter."

The woman merely nodded to Aethyta, walking slowly to approach them both. She then smiled softly, and spoke "It is a pleasure to meet you in person, Matriarch Aethyta. And you, Liara T'Soni, daughter of Aethyta and Benezia. Welcome to Hachana, the first monastery and temple of the Develian Order. I am Ryal, First Vediya...the Elder, so to speak. Come, you've traveled so far. Please sit and rest for a while, before we begin.

An hour later, Liara was sitting on a simple cushion, cross legged before Ryal, who assumed a similar position before her. They sat in a circle, set in a perfect marble square apron, itself set in a bright sea of green grass that made up the rest of the courtyard, finishing up the tea that one of the other monks had provided.

"Tell me, Liara. What do you know, of our Order?"

"More than your average Asari, I suppose, but only by dint of archeological training. You are...it is said that your beliefs predate Siari, that they are ultimately the source for that belief. But that you believe in actual reincarnation, that you strive towards freeing the mind from...the illusion of the world around us. That you work to free yourself from material desires."

Ryal smiled kindly "That is...an oversimplified statement, but not entirely inaccurate. I would say we acknowledge that suffering is the nature of all life in the Universe, and that desire...or rather...attachment, is the cause of this suffering. Many Asari do not follow the practice, and our orders were never great to begin with. On a planet where we are born with near-perfect control of our bodies and nervous systems, perfecting the inner workings of the Mind...it is often overlooked. Thus, for this reason, most of the Monks here are women of other species, especially Human."

"I read something about that. A few years ago, I was reading a text written by an exoanthropologist named Helen Metzger"

"Ah yes..._The Buddha Of The Crocodile People._"

Liara nodded "That's the one. She noted that many races in the Galaxy appeared to have one religious belief that was very similar, the same concepts and practices repeated over and over again. Notions of cultivating the mind, attaining some form of Enlightenment or Transcendence. While there were often many peripheral differences, the same basic core concepts carried over. She postulated that perhaps the Protheans seeded this belief across the Galaxy, although I'm afraid that based on my continuing discussions with Javik for my own book...I must disagree. Although I am open to the notion that another, possibly older race was responsible."

"Yes. We chose to see it as...a proof of our faith, not that I would call what we have a faith, so much as an understanding of the true nature of the mind and reality, and we did not so much need proof. Still, the ancient story of Develia, born to a great Noble Clan, eschewing the physical pleasures and the comforts of the material world, and then failing to attain the peace and fulfillment she sought through purely strict, ascetic practice, found the Middle Path, and gained Transcendence...it mirrors the Earth legend of Siddhartha Gautama and the Krogan's Grellek-Kri in ways that seem too close to be mere coincidence. We...simply chose to see it as Develia traveling, reincarnating, from world to world, species to species, lifetime to lifetime, spreading the Truths she attained, to all life in the Galaxy."

"Yes...well...interesting as this lesson in comparative exoreligion is...I'm not sure how this is going to help me...with my issue."

"It is very simple, Liara. In order to have the best chance to deliver a healthy child and survive...you will need to learn how to overcome and control the instinct in all Asari that prevents inducing our own labor. I do not claim that it will be an easy thing, and there is not much time...but in the time we do have, and if you can master the basic techniques...I believe, I know, you will be able to do it. And what you learn will make you a stronger individual overall."

Ryal paused for a moment, before continuing "But there is something I must ask you, before we proceed further. I must ask that if you walk down this path, that if you seek to learn some of the practice of our Order, you must trust me. Implicitly. I know that this is a very difficult thing that I ask, having only just met me, and not even seeing the first trial yet."

Liara was caught off guard...she started to stammer an answer, unsure if this was some sort of test, or an honest question. "I...I can only promise that I will do my absolute best to try. Perfect trust is not simply given."

Ryal nodded "A fair answer. But believe me that when I say that until you DO trust me, instead of simply trying...your progress will be significantly hampered. Are you ready to begin. Do you wish to see the first trial? The one that will test you, let you decide if you wish to procedure further with us?"

Liara merely nodded.

Ryal reached out, taking her hands. "I am going to meld with you. I imagine it will be...unlike any melding experience that you have ever had before. I will only say that after this first session...you will hopefully understand the challenge that lies before you. You will also be very disturbed, to some extent. Are you ready?"

"I am."

"Then close your eyes."

Liara did as instructed, and waited, expecting to feel something of the usual melding experience...there was always some common, basic aspect to it. But she felt nothing. At least nothing unusual. She seemed aware of an unusually strong gust of mountain air passing over them, and then the sun on her face. She wondered when it was going to begin.

"Liara" Ryal said, in an almost whisper. "Open your eyes."

She did. But...

"Have you started? Nothing's...nothing has happened."

"We HAVE melded. Believe me when I say that you are in an illusion, a recreation of the courtyard that my mind has created for both of us to exist in, to learn."

Liara looked around, an expression of utter disbelief coloring her face. "You...you must be mistaken. No Asari is capable of this level of mental construction. The image is too perfect, every detail is...it is too real."

"Liara...for 700 years, I have learned and sharpened my practice. Every day, and every day for the past 700 years, I sit in this particular courtyard, and I memorize each and every detail. Every blade of grass, the feel of the wind...the scents, the clouds, the sun. And a million other things that you don't even realize that your mind is expecting. The simple shapes that make up the buildings and surroundings of this Temple aid in this, make it easier for us to create these near-perfect illusions in other's mind. But if you were to stand up, and walk away...down those stairs, down those mountains, towards the nearby settlement...the perfect illusion would begin to wash away, and then yes, it would be as you say. But Liara: You MUST not walk away. You must sit here, with me, in this place I have created for us."

"I don't...why. What are we going to do, here? Assuming I do believe you."

Ryal grinned lightly "Remember what I said about the need for perfect trust. You see, I am creating a paradox for you. Your mind, at least, what we would call the Reactive Mind, the Instinctive Mind...it must be...utterly, absolutely convinced that what you are experiencing is real. That you are ACTUALLY here. That what you are doing is ACTUALLY happening, in what you consider to be the "real world". And yet, you must train your intellect, what we refer to as the "Half-Sleeping Soul" to overcome those instincts. To simply ignore their impossible-to-ignore messages. To be able to do what I am about to ask you to do."

"And what it is you wish of me?"

Ryal lifted the tea kettle, and placed it aside, a small brazier of red hot coals sitting between them. "Simple. I wish for you to pick up one of the coals, and hold it tightly in your hand. For as long as you can."

Liara pulled back slightly, reflexively. "I...I can't! That would...that would burn me!"

Ryal simply gave a soft, patient reply "Liara...remember, we are not actually here. I have simply tricked your mind into thinking that we are in the courtyard. The brazier before you, it's coals? They are not "real" either. And yes, every instinct is crying out "Don't! Hot!" if you even think about trying to hold onto one. And if you manage it, the pain...it will FEEL so very real. Your instinct will be to let go. But you must try. I do not expect you to succeed the first time. I do not even expect you to touch the coals. But try, all the same."

Liara...simply did not know what to do at first. A paradox, yes. That seemed the perfect description. She had read, in studies of the Develians, the use of riddles, of paradoxes, of impossibilities, in order to bring about Transcendence. The Humans had something similar, called _koans_. But to actually believe that she was NOT really in the courtyard, that this was somehow the most perfect meld-created illusion she had ever experienced in her life?

It was too much to ask her to believe. It was too much, all at once.

And yet, she still had to try. She wanted her child to live, and she wanted to live for her child. For her bondmate. She told herself there were still other options, if all else failed.

She bit down hard on her lip, and tried to reach out towards the brazier. The waves of heat coming off of it caused her to react without thinking, to jerk her hand back. She looked down, the blue flesh of her fingers reddening slightly.

"Your hand looks slightly burned because you expect it to, Liara. But I assure you, in what you would call the real world, your hand is fine."

Again, she tried, and again, she failed. Over the next 20 minutes, it became a challenge, one that she repeatedly failed. Time and again. At the very end, however, she reached in with such speed, her fingers brushing against the scalding surface of one of the coals.

_The pain!_

She screamed, yanking her hand back, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Liara...Liara!" Ryal was calling out to her.

Liara opened her eyes, cradling her hand. And suddenly, she noticed two of the other Monks next to her, a Human and an Asari. They were cradling her, in the same way.

"Liara..." Ryal said, very gently. "Your hand. Look at your hand."

She forced herself to do so...and where she expected to see bubbled, burnt flesh...was her hand, perfectly whole.

She started to feel very lightheaded, her heart stressed by the experience. A cup was placed to her lips "Drink...drink this. It will calm and support you." She did as instructed, and quickly, the sense that she would soon faint began to fade, her primal terror and panic slowly melting away.

Ryal rose, offering a hand to Liara. She took it, and rose as well, very weakly, to her feet.

Supporting her, Ryal tilted her head. "My child...I am sorry...I know that in a way, our methods must seem...cruel. Shocking. But you must understand...this is what it will be like for you. In order to conquer the protective instinct that prevents self-induced labor...it will be exactly as grabbing onto that coal, for as long as you can. Do you understand, now?"

Liara nodded, emphatically. "Goddess! I...I had no idea." She then hung her head, in despair. "I...how will I be able to do this? I..." her voice lowered to a whisper "I can't."

"Are you so certain? Fearing that a goal is impossible to achieve is one thing. How you act upon that fear...that is the only thing that counts."

Liara started to slump a bit more, the tea seemed rather strong...

"What will you do now, child? Will you stay with us? Or will you go back home? Believe me when I say that there is no shame in leaving now. We ask much that is difficult, and it has been a long...long time since an Asari in your condition, who has come to us for the kind of help that you seek, has stayed afterwards."

And despite every instinct in her body, all her scientific training that told her this simply could not be done, Liara responded "I will...stay. A little longer...a few more tries. A week. Maybe two. If nothing else, my Father believes in this. I believe in her. So I will try, for her sake, if nothing else."

Ryal wrapped a tender arm around her, and said "Then you have passed the first trial, Liara T'Soni. There is only one more. And that is the one that you face on the day you are asked to give birth. Let us see if we can help you pass that one as well. Come...we have prepared a room for you. Tomorrow...we shall try again. And the next day...and then the next day."

"Alright. And...Ryal? For what it is worth. I am...beginning to trust you."

"Then you are well on your way towards success. But I'm afraid that you will find it even hardest to trust in yourself. And that will be even more essential."


	18. Catch A Tiger Mama By The Tail

**A/N: **Whew! These are always difficult chapters to write, these political ones that you need, to setup a situation. Trying to get a lot of "alignment" in place and too many words out there, praying desperately that you haven't opened up any huge plot holes that you'll have to go back and make immediate revisions to, trying to tie up loose ends. But the payoff (For me at least) has always been that I then have a good time writing the chapters that take place after. Writing Shepard on Earth will be fun, and I think I've even figured out a way to get Liara back into her life sooner, so that makes for a happy Hugo. But I find politics as exhausting as Shepard does! :-)

As you can imagine, the era of "35+K words in a week" is pretty much over, at least for a good long while. I'm going on vacation, and the next story (Shepard dealing with Shelly on Omega) has...the potential to be very dark, and rather long, but very good if I can pull off even half of what I'm trying to accomplish with it. I'm actually going to need to take a little bit of time to diagram an outline for it before I start work. And since I'll be on vacation, I'll either get a LOT of work on it done, or absolutely none. So it might be a good few weeks till then.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing, and have a great day!

* * *

It had taken the better part of a week and a half to get to Hayabusa Station, longer than Shepard had anticipated; even then, she had run the drive at full speed as often as possible, to the point of acquiring a dangerous charge level by the time they were able to get to the discharge dock at the way station. This meant it was going to take closer to 18 hours instead of 8 for general maintenance on the ship at this point, and then another week to get to Omega from there

En route, it gave Shepard a lot of time, to plan out strategies, to get familiar with and customize her new equipment, and read up on Byron Shelly. He was roughly her age, mostly an information broker with a knack for blackmail and manipulation. He also had a wide array of other interests dirtying his hands, mostly slave trading and drug and weapons running. Obviously "Byron Shelly" was an assumed name, but once she looked over his photos, it was clear why he chose it; the man clearly was trying to put on some sort of strange "cultured airs" act, with clothing that were an odd hodge-podge mix of 1860s and 1920s; three piece suits, bow ties, shaded glasses and he had black hair, which he kept tied in a short tail in the back. And it was clear that he had a strong Pro-Human bent, but not so rabidly xenophobic, more an assuming of a sort of "White Man's Burden" mindset, as if non-Human species needed to be "controlled and cultured" by their 'betters'. Really, it was almost pathetic, this sort of show he put on.

But the man was very good at what he did, with regards to hacking systems and obtaining information. He wasn't Shadow Broker good, but that might have simply just been a question of resources...and Shepard shuddered to think what sort of damage he could do should he take over the current Shadow Broker infrastructure. He clearly quite intelligent and egotistical in equal measure. It was clear that Holly made the right call, trying to throw every piece of misdirection she could at him so far, and it was also quite obvious she was going to need to take it to the next level. The man man was paranoid enough, according to Feron, and they needed to make sure he never saw them coming until the last second.

About a week into their journey, Shepard looked up from their game of Kepesh-Yakshi - Feron had been trying to teach her - and declared "You know, I can't believe we're actually about to go toe to toe with someone who comes off as a bad supervillain-with-a-theme. Like in one of those old superhero cartoons from 40 years ago." The genre had gone out of fashion not long after first contact with aliens had been made.

Feron just made a soft humming noise of acknowledgement in the back of his throat; he talked very little when he was playing, at least where casual conversation was concerned. Shepard had to admit that Feron was growing on her. He was good at keeping himself occupied when Shepard felt like being alone, or was busy making preparations...but also often indulged her when she felt the need to make idle conversation, or watch movies. And in such close quarters for nearly three weeks, as the total trip would require, that was solid gold as far as a travel partner was concerned.

Still, they went their separate ways when they finally made it to Hayabusa Station, the biggest way station in the Attican Traverse. She had asked him to procure a few additional items, from whatever black markets that he knew about, in whatever way it took to keep their purchase completely non-electronic. Otherwise, Shepard made some basic purchases of her own: food, additional entertainment, and making sure to also obtain some winter clothing, in order to keep up appearances that she was heading to the snowy colony on Kalypso.

But the best thing Hayabusa had going for it was a branch Spectre office. She checked in with a Salarian agent she'd never had a chance to meet before, but whom she knew through reputation. He was indulgent with her, appreciative of her multiple bug scans and system checks before she availed herself of the communications room, which featured a newly-installed QEC.

Going through her messages, she smiled, spending almost an hour responding to Liara's correspondence. Chief of the events detailed was that she was indulging her Father's request, and they were heading off to some sort of monetary to meet with a monk who was going to try and help Liara learn to prepare for her delivery, in a way that would hopefully assure the lives of herself and their child. And then Shepard's innards pulsed with a sickening chill when she read the next communication, a coded missive from Aethyta, tersely informing her that an assassination plot against Liara had been stopped, and that Liara was blissfully unaware of the situation.

Next, she read through an internal message from Patel, informing her that she had suddenly started to receive a massive surge of unsolicited communications as of about 3 or 4 days ago, that he had flagged as "fan mail" and sorted into a separate data node. She expected it was probably Asari in origin, but her curiosity was extremely piqued when she discovered the vast majority of it was coming from Earth and Human colonies. And yes...there was a GIGANTIC heap of it. She was just about to access the node and start reading through at sampling when she noticed that a QEC session request started bouncing around, from Admiral Hackett.

Holly sighed heavily, and figured it was definitely overdue to get this out of the way. She expected Hackett would be less understanding than Ash had been...but ultimately their friendship would survive. She punched up the QEC session, sent the return acknowledgement out, and was pleased when his holographic form materialized in the tank in under 5 minutes.

He nodded once to her and...was he smiling? At any rate, he looked highly relieved. "Shepard...thank God you called me back! I've been floating out session requests for the past 3 days, but the VI at the Spectre Office insisted that you were in transit."

Shepard was...not expecting Hackett's initial response. Disappointment, of course, anger...well probably. She figured they were going to get through this, but relief? Smiles? Unexpected.

"Yeah, I uh...it took longer to get here from the Citadel than I first realized, and this is a tricky mission that I'm trying to keep our head down low on, so I've been incommunicado for the whole week. Look Admiral, we need to talk, and there's not much time, so I just need to say..."

Hackett cut her off before she could continue "Shepard...Holliandra. I think I owe you an apology."

She blinked once. Then suddenly started to smile "Alllllright then. Thanks. That's all I needed to hear. Bye!." she turned around, and then 5 seconds later, suddenly turned back. "I'm sorry...apology? I don't quite understand."

Hackett nodded, sighing "Look...Colonel" he said this with a smile though, indicating if not approval, then at least a lack of condemnation. "I'm not going to say that when I first heard your..ah..solution to the issue, I was thrilled. I actually swore up and down a blue streak for a good 15 minutes solid, but mostly because you were pouring gasoline onto an already existing conflagration. But...when I had time to calm down and think about it...I realize I had done wrong by you. I sprung some unreasonable terms on you without taking the time to explain the appropriate context in full. Worse yet, I didn't try and work with you to soften the blow, work with you to find an alternative."

She cracked a slight smile "Not exactly your job...Admiral. You don't set civilian policy, you just execute it in the military context."

Hackett rubbed his chin "Hmmmm. That's a nice excuse to tell myself, sure. But at the same time, I could have...interpreted orders differently. I could have played it as a tactician, instead of a delivery boy."

She leaned over, gripping the railing in front of the holotank. "Well, since we're playing mea culpa, I need to apologize as well. Look, I'm not going to say I have any regrets, or that I want to take it back but...I also acted quicker than I should have. Normally I would have waited but...there's a situation Admiral. And while it pains me to say it this way, it's above your pay grade to go into details."

Hackett laughed affably "You little punk, you've probably waited your entire military career to say that to an Admiral."

She laughed lightly herself. "Does feel good, doesn't mean I enjoy it though...okay, maybe a little. But look, I needed to get around this roadblock, and I needed to get around it quickly, otherwise yeah, I suspect I would have fought it more traditionally, especially once I found out how shaky the dispute was to begin with.. But second-guessing my judgement isn't going to do any good. I'll be honest, joining the Asari in some sort of military capacity was probably in the cards sooner or later; I was already entertaining an offer to guest instruct a group of Commando Cadets about a month ago so...anyhow, what's done is done, and all we can do is admit that we acted rashly, take responsibility, and do our best to mitigate the consequences. And I've got some ideas...I know I'm no politician or diplomat, but I think I'm ready to talk about things like...you know...cooperating with some of the PR you mentioned. We don't control the media, but I'm sure there are some basic things we can try and do. I just hope that the political firestorm I've probably created can be tamped down in some way at this point.

"I'll spare you the lecture right now, about the complications that your decision made...but only because at the same time, it's opened up an opportunity to fix a whole slew of problems at once. Shepard, how much attention have you been paying to hometown politics? Specifically the Parliamentary elections 8 weeks ago."

Smacking her head, Shepard groaned "Shit! I knew I forgot to do something. Had the absentee ballot ready to go and everything."

"Well, your one didn't make the difference, but God knows we could have used every one we could get. Indeed, there was a lot of bad feeling and finger pointing between the military and the civilian provisional Government about even allowing an election at this point. We'd lifted most of the martial law restrictions over the last month before but...there was no easy way to tell them that we had grave doubts about letting people vote in an environment where emotions were still running high. Especially with the rise of this new group...these idiots who call themselves Humanis. Essentially just Terra Firma with a new coat of paint, a healthy dash of that old time religion and a LOT of media clout. The woman who owns Westerlund News and other related media networks is a member of their party. As much as we would have loved to have declared them a seditious threat to stability...it...got very sticky, politically. Very tough to go to war with the Fourth Estate and declare victory by using Governmental force to censor them. And once we go down that particular road, we essentially stop being the defenders of civilian freedom, and a fascist regime instead."

"Well Admiral, you all made a tough call. But sometimes, we need to let the dice roll and live with the results."

Hackett sighed softly "Shepard...don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes your ideas about the inherent infallibility of the democratic process is preciously naive."

"Hey!"

"Don't take offense, I'm just pointing out why you're not a politician."

"Well, you seem to be settling into the roll a bit."

Hackett shrugged "I'm a tactician. A bit of a difference."

Shepard frowned lightly, feeling really rather uncomfortable with some of the revelations. Still, she said ""Well...I appreciate you trusting me enough to take me behind the curtain on this, all things considered. This is some pretty scandalous stuff we're discussing right now...okay then, the election went through. What happened then?"

"For the first time in a decade, the Nova Federalist party failed to get a majority. Indeed, they lost so many seats to so many new fringe parties that rose up in the first free election since the end of the war...it was something of a nightmare really. Which, again, is exactly the sort of thing the boys and girls in various intel and military groups were worried about. Nova STILL won plurality at any rate, but the second party to come in, was Humanis."

"Well shit. So...coalition government then?"

"Coalition Government. Bloc Monde came in third, and had a good number of seats to their credit, but in the end, NF couldn't seem to form a coalition government without Humanis on board. It was a literal deal with the devil, and the biggest prize for playing along was appointing their then-Whip as the new Ambassador."

"Holy...Shit. No fucking wonder! NO FUCKING WONDER! God! I thought the basic laws of fundamental reason and logic suddenly had experienced a catastrophic failure. I mean...don't we have a system in place to keep people like her away from the actual important positions?

Hackett smirked at this "Yeah Colonel, we do. It's called Parliamentary democracy, but as you can see, sometimes "rolling the dice" means you crap out."

Shepard shot him a bit of a glare and muttered "Alright...alright. You've made your point."

"Anyhow...so tell me, the new Ambassador...Effiginia." said with emphasis placed on each syllable. "Have you had the ah, the pleasure of meeting her yet?" He suddenly burst out into a wide grin, as if unable to contain himself."

"Yeah actually I have, and I have to tell you...Admiral. Whaaat is it..." Hackett was usually pretty good at keeping his "poker tells" from breaking through, so this must have been something incredibly amusing. To him, at any rate.

"Did you happen to have a rousing talk with her by any chance? A fiery speech in which you exhorted Humanity to appreciate it's glorious achievements but also strive to do better, be a better citizen in the Galactic Community? And did you happen to know that the phrase 'Tiger Mama' has become one of the quickest trending topics on ExoTweet for the past 72 hours?"

Covering her mouth for a moment, Shepard was absolutely stunned

"You get. The fuck out! You bugged her office!" And worse yet, it got released apparently, but she'd ask about that in a minute.

Fixing a steely gaze on her, he shook his head once "Shepard! I did nothing of the sort! The Systems Alliance Intelligence Network, on the other hand, felt that it was best to do so. For her own protection, of course, you understand? In these delicate times of transition to civilian rule once again."

Shepard rolled her eyes "Naturally." She then paused, a thought suddenly occurring to her "Wait, isn't that sort of thing illegal? I mean, more illegal than usual? I didn't think SAIeN could operate on domestic soil."

"Yeah...but...ah...you know, there's not much soil on a space station, Colonel."

"Admiral! You know what I mean...it's still an Embassy Office of the Systems Alliance!"

He closed his eyes for a moment, sighed very heavily, then looked back to her "Look, Shepard. I'll admit, it's dirty pool. Very dirty pool. But when you're dealing with a significant internal...complication, such as Humanis, sometimes some rules have to get bent so others don't get broken beyond repair. Hell, I could also point out that if we had bugged the office sooner, we might have actually caught Udina before he let Cerberus onto the Citadel. But if it helps you sleep better at night, you'll be glad to hear they didn't end up putting any monitoring devices in her office."

Shepard tilted her head down, rubbing the bridge of her nose. She chided herself internally...of course there would be slippery slope issues. How could she have been so short-sighted as to not realize that there would be extended Martial law, and that it was going to be...difficult...for the SAAF to give back power. Even if they had some good points to make. And that at the same time, given Humanity's collective shell shock, that giving power back so soon to the civilian population was maybe not the best idea. Suddenly she remembered reading Nietzsche in Officer School, the whole notion about those who fight monsters long enough risk turning into them. Still, it sounded like she may have just caught the luckiest of lucky breaks, if Hackett was this jubilant. She then tilted back up and asked.

"Okaaaay. So how...did...?"

"Turns out that when SAIeN got one of their agents in there to plant the devices...the stupid cow had bugged the place herself. Full audio and video. Paranoia on her part I guess, wanting to record everything that goes on in there. Which, of course, is also rather illegal on their part. It was..ah...it was quite easy to have them splice a tap into the pre-existing system, while editing out the last few minutes of their activities inside her office . Actually, we didn't realize it at the time, but she was handing us the anvil to putting Humanis down hard, at least for this round.. And you, Colonel...you get to be the hammer."

"I am...filled with a curious mixture of sickening dread and giddy delight...and I suddenly want to know how the hell an illegally taped conversation that was then illegally hijacked got leaked to the public."

"Are you kidding? The minute SAIeN realized what they had in their possession, they just about shit themselves with glee. And so, about 4 days ago, a new "libertarian cyber-minarchist" group calling itself Vox Incognitae claimed responsibility for hacking the illegal surveillance system that Armitage and her pals installed, and...with some appropriate edits of course, put the conversation you had out with her."

Shepard covered her face up. "Oh fuck. Oh God...WHY?!"

"Shepard...you just suddenly became the biggest damn Hero on Earth again. Despite Westerlund's flogging, and riling up the...shall we say, low information viewing segment of the population, this video struck a massive psychological chord that Humanis has been more or less powerless to fight against. I swear, those boys at SAIeN are good, but you gave them...AMAZING material to work with. Humanis has tried to make up excuses, saying that they had no idea their office was bugged, and demanding some sort of investigation...but it's coming off rather lame, at the moment"

"You have to be kidding me. People...really liked it? I mean, there was a reason why it was just for her ears alone..."

"Colonel, we've been tracking spontaneous outbreaks of pro-Shepard rallies across the globe, especially in North America and Europe...things like whole bars filled with blue class factory workers suddenly taking to the streets and chanting your name after watching the initial report or college sororities all dying their hair red. The same media talking heads who had spent weeks putting a knife in your back, running with the narrative of "Holliandra Shepard has turned her back on Humanity, and betrayed them, to go live with the Asari", have turned on a dime. All of the sudden it's "Humanis' extreme and subversive rhetoric pushed Shepard into their arms reluctantly, and yet she's always had this burning fire in her heart for her homeworld. But it's that she recognized the responsibility she has to our comrades out in the Galaxy."

Hackett paused for a moment, to let it all sink in. "And only NOW are these damn media idiots willing to stand up to Westerlund and Humanis and point out things like...how badly Humanis has been with regards to cooperating as an effective partner in the Parliament. Or how bad it looks for this whole tape to be leaked the day after Tevos T'Naori came out and publicly tried to reconcile with Armitage, who was an absolute ass about it in return...I'm going to assume you had something to do with that?

Shepard smiled weakly and shrugged.

"Oh and yesterday. I wish you could have SEEN yesterday! Humanis had scheduled a vote right before the recording came out, to try and strip you of your citizenship in the SA, and-or censure you for your actions with the Spectre situation. They tried to pull the vote back of course, when they realized how quickly the winds had shifted, but Nova Fed and Bloc Monde got together and forced them to go through with it on procedural plays. This might be rough for you to hear, but the initial polling showed the vote was going to be close...maybe even pass. But now? It was a total slaughter. Humanis' party discipline absolutely crumbled. And then Nova Federalis followed up the humiliation by forcing them to vote on a "declaration of praise and affection."

Shepard leaned forward to grip the tank railing a bit; the absolute surreality of all of this was making her head swim for a moment. And the notion that so many of these damn politicians were spineless windsocks who couldn't apparently make a stand on principle was...disillusioning, to say the least. She had always thought that her initial distrust of "The System" as a kid was put aside, her faith in Humanity and "the process" restored as it were by her years in the SAAF. And now all of that was slowly crumbling away once more. It seems she had been right all along; that bitter kid growing up on the streets knew better.

"I mean my God, It's like this speech is some sort of Rorschach test..everyone sees what they want to in it. The vaguely pro-Human types that Humanis is hoping to court stopped listening after "Humanity is fucking awesome." The types who think that Humankind should be working harder to cooperate with aliens only heard "We should be trying hard to be more respectful." SAIeN tells me that even the other Council races are handling this situation...pretty well. You know. For the most part. You did good in praising them as well, and the tape edits made sure to play that up to good effect, while removing out some of the more..shall we say...unpleasant truths you felt the need to air to Armitage. Yeah, you're going to still have ruffled some non-Human feathers, but we've got diplomats, PROPER diplomats on the job. So we can make that blow over, I'm sure.. But the important part...I mean the MOST important part...is that you seem to have pointed the way for Humanity to feel especially good about it's achievements while at the same time feeling magnanimous towards alien species, as opposed to threatened. Hell, we're even getting feelers from some of the bigwigs in Nova Fed...if we can get Humanis enough on the unpopular defensive, the Prime Minister can call for a new Parliamentary vote, and while it would be tight, if it went through, Humanis would almost certainly lose a LOT of power."

And suddenly, Shepard felt like she had heard enough.

"Admiral I...I really do feel some need to protest here! You're telling me that the Systems Alliance Military is colluding with the civilian foreign intelligence bureau AND possibly the largest of the Parliamentary parties to manipulate public opinion in order to marginalize and take down another political party that fairly gained power? And yes, it sounds like this is getting us everything we absolutely want but...how the hell can I just stand here and not pretend that this is...this is essentially corrupting the very ideals the SA is supposed to stand for?"

Hackett looked at her, in the eyes, for a long minute, before finally speaking, softer this time. "Shepard. I'm sorry. I know this is...disillusioning to see how the sausage is being made...but believe me when I say it could have been a lot worse. A lot. I had to talk Fleet Admiral Ortiz and half the fucking Joint Chiefs of Staff down from a plan to outright rig that election. Hell, after Cerberus, the military is itching to crucify anyone who breathes any more Anti-Alien/Extreme Pro-Human bullshit. So let me put this in capsule form: We want to make an absolute example out of Humanis. We want to so utterly crush their back in the arena of public opinion that radical groups that feel like stirring up the sort of discord and frenzy that Humanis has managed to at the moment will think very long, and very hard, before doing so again. Also, I suppose it would be a nice side effect to remind the general voting public that sometimes it's a bad idea for them to let the yappy dog that's chasing the car catch it, because clearly they have no idea what to do with it afterwards. I personally believe that if we can do all that...it will be much easier for myself, and others in the SA military and intel communities who are trying to keep an outright military junta from happening right now...to bring the overall situation back to a much more normal footing in the years to come."

Holly covered her face again as Hackett continued.

"Shepard...this speech that's been released has been a public relations blitzkrieg for our side. Oh, and related to that, Diana Allers has been a champ. Clearly, you made the right call embedding her on the Normandy; people take what she says at far more face value because they see her as 'Shepard's reporter'. Anyhow, we've got Humanis on the ropes right now. But they're not going to go down quietly. We need you to come home, as soon as you're done with whatever mission you're on, and deliver the killing blow. We don't need you to be Holliandra Shepard, die-hard pro-Human. We need you to be Holliandra Shepard, likeable, aww-shucks soldiers, wife, Mother...er...Father?-to-be, and...and again I absolutely love this phrase...Tiger Mama, who has become a Citizen of the Galaxy, and exhorts Humans to be proud but humble as well."

Shepard thought long and hard. In some odd ways, this had become a weird inverse of the situation she was looking at just over a week ago. A whiter shade of dark grey, so to speak. She knew there was going to need to be a PR campaign but...this? This was not the scale or the intensity she had envisioned. And God damnit, Hackett did have a point. Again, she chided herself for her stupidity, to think that after something as horrific as the Reaper war and the outright rape of Earth, the military, or at least certain elements of it, wouldn't be eager to crush and reshape the civilian Government more to its liking. She had horrible visions of turning her back on Humankind, and dooming it to potentially fascist rule or one kind or another, sooner or later. At least if she played along for a little while, long enough to defuse this madness, she might inspire people in the years to come to not accept the kind of political rule that would easily lead to such...corrupt manipulation.

Yeah, and maybe her skin would turn blue, and she'd grow head ridges next week. Still...she reminded herself: power and responsibility, She had the one, whether she wanted it or not. And if she was going to exhort people to be responsible, then she had to set a personal example.

"Alright, Admiral. Despite my better moral judgement, and my...naivete...I can see the realpolitik writing on the wall. If I help take the threat of Humanis away, it gets tougher for the...shall we say more politically ambitious elements of the Military to go nuts. Simple as that?"

"More or less, yes."

"I can't tell you where I'm going right now. I can only tell you that..." and at this point, she did some quick calculations. "I could get back to Earth in five weeks. Maybe a month. I've had to push my ship pretty hard as it is."

"We'll have you back home in under a week, once you're done."

"But you don't know where in the Galaxy I'm going to be."

"Doesn't matter."

"What?! Bullshit!"

"I'm not kidding Shepard. We ah...we've got some new experimental drive tech we're busting out for this. Send us a message when you're finished, and the Normandy can meet you, pick you and...I suppose we can cram that ship of yours into the shuttle bay...and get you back. All in a weeks time. Okay, maybe as long as two, it depends on if the drive doesn't...blow up, I suppose."

Shepard's jaw dropped, despite herself. "Are...is the situation desperate enough to trust this to some sort of...experiment that could kill us on route?"

"Shepard...we can only hold off people's demand to see you, to hear your side of the story, for so long before Westerlund and Humanis manage to get a foothold and regain at least some control of the media narrative back again.."

"Oh, I don't know...I suppose you could always engineer some sort of crisis that allows you to temporarily declare martial law until I come back." Holly said, with a bitter tone in her voice.

The Admiral got a somewhat contemplative look in his eyes at that.

"No! Hey...that was a fucking joke! And a bad one at that."

Hackett chuckled softly "We'll do what we can on this end, Shepard. But we can only cobble together so many 'Shepard life story retrospectives' before it gets stale. Get back as soon as you can. Hackett out."

Shepard walked over to the comm terminal, sat down...and let her head fall forward with a *WHUMP* smacking the short desk with her winced, as the impact had been a bit harder than intended. She then let out a very loud string of expletives for the next 30 seconds.

Rising up and rubbing her head, Shepard gave a snort of disgust. Suddenly, dealing with Shelly seemed like a million miles away, an almost welcome respite from the political miasma swirling around her. And then just as suddenly the report of the attempt on Liara's life hit her in full...and she wanted so badly to turn her craft around, run home, hold her, and spend the next month snarling at anyone who even looked at her funny.

She rubbed the tears forming out of her eyes.

_"I feel so weak right now...without her. No wait...I guess I'm just realizing how much more stronger I am WITH her, by comparison."_

She swore to herself though...no matter what the cost, she would make it back to Thessia to be there for her birth. Even if it meant she had to leave at a...critical time in the media war that was brewing, even if it held disastrous consequences for the whole of the Human race

She activated the communications terminal, and began to compose a new message to Liara, letting her know about the delay...how much she missed her...playfully exhorting her that it was now HER turn to send sexy pictures. It helped lift her spirits up, just a bit.

Standing slowly at last, she turned, heading back to check on the ship. It was bad enough they were going to lose half a day making a beeline towards Kalypso, and then making a wide turn around back towards Omega, in order to throw Shelly off further. She wanted this over and done with now. All of it.

_"It seems they've got the Tiger Mama by the tail now. Hopefully they know what to do with her. God help us all, this path we're going down."_


	19. Playing Against Type

**A/N:** So I feel like I should give due warning: I went a bit dark with this chapter. Darker than I've done yet. Some of you may find this installment a bit disturbing at times especially near the end. So you've been appropriately warned.

But it occurred to me that Shepard, my Shepard, had a rather effed up childhood, and this was a way of exploring it, and the demons she still has to deal with. I actually took the time to write an outline and organize things ahead of time. Still...I'm not entirely pleased with the end result. I suppose if I really spent all the time it needed for a full polish, I'd be happier..but more likely without the pressure to publish, I'd be overcome with self-doubt, and would never have gotten a single word out, let alone 105K+. Kind of a paradox, but so be it. I can always go back and revise any rate, I've confirmed to myself that I really hate doing antagonists because I'm not very good at them.

Apropos of that, there's an issue I want to jab about for a moment, hopefully in as few words as possible. I recently received my first somewhat scathing review. That's fine, I'm honestly surprised it hadn't happened sooner. Sad part is, far from being pure trolling, the person actually read a good chunk of the story, and had a VERY valid critique to make. It's a pity that they did it in such a childish and uselessly inflammatory fashion that it makes me far less likely to take the good stuff they say seriously. The only really insulting part was that they did it anonymously; as someone who used to write reviews and critiques semi-professionally (read as: for money) that's an incredibly low and gutless tactic to take.

Anyhow, let me wrap this up quickly: It's okay to not like things, but don't be a dick about the things you don't like. As my wife used to say in art school "I shouldn't have to develop a thick skin, you should have to develop a civil tongue

Sorry for the rant. Here's a dark story about my Shepard's effed up childhood, and the demons she still has to deal with.

* * *

_Holliandra was barely 15 when she finally stopped "walking the streets"._

_For almost 8 months, her primary source of income was selling herself on the streets of Detroit and occasionally Ypsilanti, a move born of desperation above all else; she swore she wasn't going back, not to the abusive foster families, not to the mind numbing drone factories masquerading as "innovative and efficient for-profit schools", not to the uncaring system that continually allowed her and others like her to slip through the cracks. 8 months filled with mostly terrible men, and one woman, who had also been terrible in her own way. Even the small handful who had treated her nicely...like a princess really...they were still the sort of human being who wanted to fuck a 14 year old for money. They were all deeply broken in their own ways._

_The last one, the one most broken inside, in the deepest ways. He was the one who almost killed her. The one who convinced her that her short and pathetic life was coming to a horrifying end. The one who dragged her at knifepoint into the alley, all the time swearing how he was going to fuck her while peeling her slowly like an apple. It was only an absolute turn of luck that allowed her to slip out of his grasp, slamming his leg with her stiletto heel in just the right way, his stupidity in dropping the wicked looking hunting knife to grab at his crippled tendon. She should have run right there, run straight off the streets and back into foster care...but she looked down at the weapon, and the man who had shown her the nature of absolute terror...and picked it up, slamming him into the ground, swearing right then and there that she would have her revenge._

_How quickly his bravado wilted, how his horrible, obscene speeches turned to dust as she placed the blade to his throat, a wild, animal look in her eye. And every time he struggled or protested, she'd smash him somewhere with the pommel of the knife or draw the blade against him and snarl, till the cut welled up crimson, until he stopped, until he was still, beneath the weight of her body pinning him to the ground. And oh God, her heart was beating so hard and so fast now...but it was different this time. Before it was been the pure, blinding terror of fight-or-flight. But now, with the tables turned, with the power in her hands..._

_...she was excited. She could feel the tightening of her nipples, the flush of heat between her legs. She couldn't help it..she couldn't understand it, but oh yes did she want to see how far she would take it, this new, all-consuming power she had, that she felt. And with that, it only took a few minutes before her hand gripped the back of his head, exposing the carotid artery, beating against the flesh of his neck. The knife was so sharp, it would be over, quickly. So much kinder than he had promised her, and she could see...what exactly? She had never seen death so up close and personal before. She was so intensely excited and curious now as to what would happen._

_As for the man, he could see all of this in her eyes, see all of the fractures inside her, and where it was leading her. Suddenly...he broke completely. Began sobbing, deep, body wracking shakes. Begging and pleading in such a little, little voice. Holliandra didn't know what to make of it._

_Was he simply scared, simply not wanting to die...or was it more than that? Was he remorseful? Did his last few seconds suddenly open something up in his mind, finally granting him the ability to see what he had been doing to so many women in the past, had almost done again to the girl in front of him?_

_Her hand was stayed. Suddenly, she couldn't go through with it. Part of her was shouting to do it, so wanting to punish the man, feeling so foolish to buy into what was clearly an act. And yet..so much of her empathy pulsed painfully to see the sobbing wretch before her. And was disgusted to look at herself, and see what life on the streets, barely a year in, was finally turning her into._

_The blade was still at his neck...but before she could start to pull back, to let him go, a police patrol cruiser came driving slowly down the street, beacon and siren flashing a few times. She never knew if they were responding to her or something else nearby, but it had made the decision for her. She ran, as fast as she could in her high heels, until she finally tossed then into a dumpster a few blocks later, along with a long blond wig she wore for "working". She still kept the knife though, clutched under her PVC jacket._

_At a diner, a couple miles away, she stared down at the cup of black coffee cooling on the table in front of her. She never really had coffee before, wasn't even sure if she would like it...but it had seem like the thing to do. She had no idea what she was going to do after tonight. It was clear she was never going to bring herself to continue prostitution, however..._

_It was then that three girls suddenly slid into the other side of the booth in front of her. To their credit, they didn't pin her in and trap her on her side, but she still felt the hot rush of adrenalin course through her already taxed body. Everything seemed to move a little slower, look a little sharper. She considered the best way to get to the door, the possible utility of her hot coffee as a distraction, thrown into their faces._

_The eldest of the group, a rather pretty woman with long, shiny hair, black like anthracite, shot a knowing smile at her, and tilted her head._

_"We saw what you did out there, little girl." She spoke with a pronounced French Canadian accent, though her English was otherwise perfect._

_The girl to her left, large, stocky, and somewhat brutish in demeanor nodded and gave her lips just the softest of licks "Yeah...that was...that was hot..."_

_The girl to the right of the leader was Arabic by her facial features, with a swept bobbed hairstyle dyed platinum. She just stared intently, saying nothing._

_"I...I dunno what you're talking about...leave me alone." Holliandra said, trying to keep fear out of her voice. Succeeding, but not by enough._

_The black haired girl held up a hand "Hey...hey, sweetie. It's all cool. We were planning on doing that asshole in ourselves...he's been terrorizing the local...ah...the working girls in the area lately, and the fucking gendarme piggies...well, they aren't doing anything about it."_

_"Ha ha! Yeah...looks like you were just about to do our job for us, till the fucking cops flashed by. Don't worry though." said the blonde. "We finished the job. Oh man...did he cry like a little bitch."_

_Holly looked numbly between the three of them. Again, the girl with the white hair said nothing, but smiled, in a somewhat wicked fashion._

_The voice of the black haired girl took on a softer, more mothering tone.. "You been working the streets long, sweetie? You a lone wolf, or you belong to a stable?"_

_Holly didn't quite understand the question at first, but after a few moments, it became clear. "I...I'm just..I'm doing what I have to, to survive. Just me..."_

_The other girl nodded "Ah. Well. You keep up with it, you won't. Some asshole will notice your working his turf, not giving him his cut? Its going to be pay up and accept his...agency. Or die. Or worse. But let me ask you this...you want to keep working the streets?"_

_To this Holly shook her head furiously. No...she most certainly did not want to go back to that._

_"I'm Jetter", the black haired girl said, holding out her hand. "This is Lilitu" head canting towards the white haired one. "And this ogre to my other side is Tharka." Tharka, the blonde...who had been gazing intently at her the whole time, smiling, like some sort of killer animal who thought they may have finally found a kindred._

_Holly met that gaze...feeling equal parts revulsion...as well as...that same excitement. That same hot, raw sexuality coursing through her again._

_Blinking and looking away, suddenly aware of herself again, Holly, looked over...very slowly, carefully taking the hand, as if it might bite, and softly said "Shepard. H..Holly. That is."_

_"Nice to meet you, sweetie. You want to join us?"_

_"Join you?" Oh God..please..please don't let this be them hitting her up for a trick. Oh God please..._

_"Our little...ah...social club."_

_"She means a gang!" Tharka interjected with all of the subtle grace of a pregnant rhino._

_Lilitu simply rolled her eyes._

_Jetter stared angrily at Tharka for a moment, and then turned to Holly, her look sweetening considerably. "The Five Mile Furies. We are...ahh...the Leaders, I guess you could say. There's more of us. We have a few squats nearby. Normally, there's some sort of initiation but...ah...I would say you've passed. More or less."_

_"What would...what would I have to do?"_

_"Oh mon cheri...there are any number of things we could figure out for you. But that's not important right now. I can promise you, you would NOT be having to fuck any more...any more men." She said the last word with a look on her face that suggested having just tasted curdling milk. "We're all women, we Furies. We look after each other. We'll find a place for you...don't you worry."_

_Holly felt torn...this had trap written all over it, at least to some extent. On the other hand, this Jetter girl was right. Sooner or later, if she kept up at this alone, someone was going to get a lucky shot in at her, chew her up and spit out the bones, or worse. Unless she was going to pack it in now, and try to go back to The System, she needed this._

_"I'm...I'm in." She said. In a very small voice._

_Jetter smiled beatifically. "Mmmmm. Lovely. Well, why don't you finish that coffee, and then we'll talk you back to the...club."_

_As she choked back her black coffee, Holly continued to keep a wary eye on the others. She had the worst feeling that unless she could figure out some new sort of skill to keep her useful, she was just going to end up another kind of whore._

* * *

"Shepard" Feron asked.

Holly didn't answer, staring down at her otherwise untouched breakfast plate.

"Shepard..." Feron asked again, a little more loudly, enough to finally stir her out of her thoughts.

"Wha? Oh...oh. Sorry Feron. What?"

"I just asked: Are you going to finish that?" He pointed to her food. They had both sat down to breakfast about half an hour ago, in the cramped alcove that passed for the ships galley.

She sighed heavily, realizing she wasn't very hungry at the moment, and pushed the plate forward towards him. "No. Help yourself."

He nodded graciously "Thank you." He then started to tuck into the large helping of meat, otherwise avoiding the eggs. "This 'spam'. I'm not sure what sort of Earth animal it is, but I must admit, I've acquired a certain fondness for it's meat."

Shepard cracked a very light smile, and said "Huh, no shit? I bet the people at Hormel would love to know THAT. Maybe you could sell them your endorsement, you know? 'Spam, the official meat-like substance of the Shadow Broker!'"

Feron gazed up at her, appraisingly as he chewed through a particularly large mouthful. Swallowing it down with some orange juice, he nodded a few times, and said in an almost deadpan voice. "Not a bad idea. Might look into that, the additional revenue stream could prove useful."

Shepard snorted for a moment, and then couldn't help herself, starting to crack up laughing at this Above all else, this was what she had come to like most about Feron; he possessed what was, at times, a rather dry sense of humor.

After a minute, Feron remarked "It's good to see you laughing. I have to admit, I was becoming a little concerned. Seemed you weren't so much as smiling once since we left Hayabusa." He paused, moving towards his coffee, and stirring a little sugar into it. "Care to share what's on your mind?"

Normally, Shepard wouldn't be so hep on opening up on the issues occupying her thoughts these days. But over the past nearly three weeks, she had come to respect Feron, as well as outright like the guy. Plus...he deserved to know, as it might have a bearing on the mission.

"Yeah...I uh...I've been giving this situation a lot of thought. Shelley, I mean, I'm thinking a lot about what to do, how to deal with him."

"I haven't. I figured it would be a rather simple matter. We would get in, as quietly as possible, and then shoot him, preferably to the point of death. Although I can't guarantee he doesn't have some sort of dead mans contingency in place, although once we secure his facility, I should be able to find and hopefully put a stop to anything of that nature."

Shepard blew out a quick stream of air through her nose. "That was my plan as well. At first. Then I heard about what happened with Liara, with the assassination attempt. And before long, it occurred to me...this might keep happening. Some asshole, someone trying to make a name for themselves, some idiot up and comer...might try to keep taking shots at...at her. Feron, let me ask you a question: you've been in prison, right? Or at least, you've spent time in some sort of correctional holding facility?"

Feron mused, spearing another piece of spam. "I'll leave that answer up to your imagination."

Holly rolled her eyes "Okay, to get to my point. You know what you do, the first day in prison? Or high school? You find the meanest bitch or bastard in the yard. And you try to beat the ever living shit out of them. I mean, you absolutely convince them that you are a psychopath, and that as long as they leave you alone, you won't kill them. Or anyone else for that matter."

"And...?"

"Annnnnd. I'm...I'm thinking that may be what I need to do with Shelley. I need to..." she took another deep breath. "Lord help me, I think I'm going to need to break him. I think I need to convince him that underneath all of my discipline, and empathy, and ideals...there is a barely contained psychopath who would love to cut on him."

"A man like him is hardly a 'badass'. Although he does love to tell a good tale, and is, perhaps, scary enough to the right people, in the right quantities. Alright, I see where you are going with this." Feron narrowed his eyes, a quizzical expression forming on his face. "Are you afraid, then, that it'll be too difficult a ruse to pull off?"

Hanging her head down for a moment, Holliandra murmured "No. I'm afraid...I'm afraid it will be easy. Easier than I want it to be."

_And I'm afraid it won't be a ruse, either..._

* * *

_Holliandra was barely 16, the first time she killed another human being._

_For the better part of the past year, she had been fighting to find a niche for herself in the Five Mile Furies. For all the posturing about it being one tight-knit family of girls living on the street, it was more like a vicious, spiteful wolfpack much of the time or, Holly supposed based on her limited experience, like being in high school. She had no desire to do what it took to be on the absolute top, but she managed to fight and scratch enough to keep from being one of the omegas, no better than a "comfort girl" being passed around. No longer willing to prostitute herself (at least not for money, or to men.) she turned to thievery; pickpocketing she discovered - and to a lesser extent, breaking and entering - , was easier to get away with as opposed to outright mugging people in the streets. And she was getting better at it, too. She seemed to be developing a knack for making the most of cover and the shadows around the slums, and cultivating the patience to figure out the best time and place to strike._

_However, underground pit fighting...that brought in more cash, more quickly than petty theft. Usually done in any number of the abandoned warehouses that dotted downtown Detroit. Tharka had been trying to teach her how to "street fight", which essentially was a lot of vicious, dirty moves; once Shepard went to the library and started researching the basics of boxing and Krav Maga, she started to surpass her teacher...not that Tharka was much of one to begin with. But she had been getting by on her size and strength, something Shepard couldn't depend upon as reliably._

_Still, Holly had been working her way up the ranks, mostly involved in fights with members of one or two of the only other girl gangs in Detroit. There was an informal group that organized the fights...some thought it was the Asian Triads, others believed it to be Middle Eastern organized crime, handling the bookmaking and the payouts._

_When the leader of the Sons of Suliman and Jetter got into a major spat, the two gangs began duking it out whenever and wherever they could, and the Pit was no exception; the organizers had set up a special fight, one of the "best" from the Sons against one of the "best" from the Furies; Holly had been picked to represent her side - she couldn't help but wonder why Tharka didn't champ at the bit to take the 'honor' - , and a wiry looking, Persian boy about her age was picked for the opposition._

_The fight got bloody very quickly; the Sons member had no compunctions against beating the ever living crap out of a girl, and Holly had to pull out every trick she had in her bag to keep pace. They were three or four rounds in, already walking piles of blood and bruises, and the energy rolling off from the roaring crowd was like a solid wave in an of itself. Suddenly, the boy managed to get in a lucky haymaker, knocking her onto her back. He was on her in a second, pinning her down, and brandishing a makeshift blade that she would later learn one of his fellow gang members had tossed into the pit once she had fallen back._

_Time seemed to move in slow motion as she blade came down...she managed to use the flat of her right hand to divert his hand. It grazed her nastily on the shoulder, but that was preferable to having her throat cut. And that was when the surge of adrenalin caught her. That same intense, insane madness that had overtaken her last year, the night the Furies had found her. She didn't quite remember how, but she had managed to scratch at his eyes, and then strike out at his larynx, taking the wind out of him. Pushing him off, smashing him in the head with her own, she then began to pound into him with her fists, viciously, repeatedly, no longer in control of her motions, acting purely on instinct. She felt that same giddy, intensely pleasurable wave surging through her, singing darkly in her brain as she wrapped her hands around his throat and begin to smash his head back against the hard ground, snarling and then grinning as she began to squeeze ever harder. This boy was everything she hated in life...the System, the man who tried to rape her, the bitchy hypocrisy of the Furies, man's basic inhumanity to man. It was all there, personified in this one teenaged boy, and it felt soooooo GOOD to make...him...pay. Her eyes met his, as he looked at her, begging...his face a mask of blood and bruises...but this time, Holly was too far gone. She saw the light go out of his eyes, felt him go slack under her fingers, and then swooned, shuddering as her released tore through her._

_She slumped over...oh...God. Had she...had she actually...?_

_By this point, a couple of the cage guards had come in, pulling her off the boy...the corpse now, and spiriting her away, as another group was trying to keep the predictable riot from breaking out into full force. The next half an hour was a confused blur...Shepard barely remembered getting paid, somehow, although she realized much later that she had been shorted on her winnings. The rest of the night on the streets of Detroit grew nasty, as an outright gang war had nearly broken out...though like most skirmishes, it ultimately burned itself out as fast as it had started, waiting for the next insult or slight to start it back up again._

_Tharka found Holly in one of the gang squats, curled up in a corner, rocking back in forth, trembling as she stared out into nowhere. She was in an almost fugue state now, the same thoughts repeating in her head over and over: How could she have done it? How could she have killed another human being? Worse yet, how could she have gotten off on it? She wished so desperately she could take it back, take it all back. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want his blood on her hands either. She had no idea how she could go on, how she could keep living this way. It felt like something inside, something important had already cracked and split ever further, was even more irreparable than ever._

_Tharka pulled her up, and tried to pull her into a rough kiss. Holly didn't even notice until the last second. Tharka panted in her ear "That...that was soooooo hot. You killed that guy. You just smashed 'em up and choked that little bitch. And ya liked it. A LOT. I saw it all...C'mon...I WANT you. NOW."_

_Holly tried to protest...there was a part of her that wanted to give in, to meet Tharka at her animalistic level...but by and large Holly desperately did not want to sink down to it. She tried to push the other girl off, crying, trying to protest, but Tharka wouldn't hear any of it. At least, not until Holly, pushed to the limit with everything that had happened to her, vomitted on her boots._

_The backhanded blow came quick and hard, knocking Holly down to the ground. "Sick fuck! What's wrong with you!? You feeling sorry for him or something?" Tharka might have taken it further, but that was when Jetter came into the room, clapping her on the shoulder._

_Holly didn't hear much of the conversation next, was numb to even listening. Whatever happen, Jetter had won out...which would explain why she was the Alpha dog in the gang, at least for today. She kneeled down, wiping Holly's face off with the rough sleeve of her duster, and started to cradle her in her arms._

_"There there...mon petit fille. That was a hell of a thing you did today, non? Your first kill?" Asked like a question, but understood to be more of a statement. All Holly could do was nod._

_"Well...it gets easier from here, believe me. It gets easier. All of us out here, all of us on the street? We're all broken inside, in our own ways. Some worse than others. That boy...don't think he would be so torn up if you had been the one to die at his hands, instead, chere. I've seen other girls where you are, torn apart like that; you don't have to like it, the way Tharka does, you don't have to embrace it, not going to judge you, if you do. But don't go getting soft either, okay? Don't go losing sleep over this." Jetter was stroking her hair, but the tone was almost...threatening. Was she warning her for her own sake, perhaps? "You let it make you soft, you're no good to us anymore"_

_"Now...you let just Mamon Jetter make it alllll...better."_

_There were lips on Holly's face, and then her neck. She sighed softly, and gave on last sob. She was absolutely not in the mood, but she knew better than the refuse the dark-haired girl when she wanted something. She had done that, only once, about six months ago, and had been ostracized from the gang for an exceedingly painful two weeks._

_She took Jetter's hand, and placed it on her breast. Leaned back...and simply submitted. Shepard never make up her mind as to whether she was too worn out to fight it off, or if she was accepting it like one accepts a punishment for their crime._

* * *

Shepard looked at herself in the mirror, her face creased with a deep frown. They were only an hour or so away from docking, and she and Feron were going to need to be incognito from the word go. It occurred to her that if Shelley's people were keeping an eye out, they were either looking for a Spectre and an accompanying Drell to come out, or maybe just look for two tough-looking silent types, a human and a Drell, who suddenly arrived together. But based on previous experience on Omega, and her amatuer appraisal of the general criminal mindset, it seemed obvious to her that the one thing on Omega that people tend to pay the least amount of suspicious attention to on the station were the female prostitutes. They were just part of the background, part of the scenery. And so it was that she found herself dressed appropriately.

It was a thrown together outfit, mostly utilizing some things she picked up on the Citadel. She hadn't realized until now how similar she looked to Tharka, the last time she ever saw her; the same sort of webwork of leather, fishmesh and PVC, the same thick collar. She had added in a pair of high-heeled shoes, a blond wig, topped off with a cheap looking short pink velvet kimono robe, covering up most of "the goods" so to speak.

She kept telling herself that this was just a disguise. This was just a tactical misdirection, a tool to be utilized to aid in the success of the mission, a mission she was primarily undertaking in order to keep Liara safe. She tried to remind herself she didn't need to feel anything about it, anything at all...but she had to admit to herself; it all struck a raw nerve, cut a little too close to the quick. Reminded her too much of bad times she'd rather forget. In the end, she decided that it wasn't so much the outfit, in and of itself, but the context surrounding it, and all of the memories she had been dredging up lately, psyching herself up for what she needed to do.

She was putting in a pair of contact lenses, changing her green eyes to blue, when Feron walked in. She had gotten him a cheap pinstriped suit, which he had just finished putting on, still adjusting the tie as has came in to check on her. She glanced back at him, turned around, and sighed softly, giving a weak smile.

"Alright. Get it out of your system now..."

Feron canted his head to the right "Get what out?"

"You know. All the clever lines you want to zing out. Things like" and at this point, Holly began to pound on her chest, giving her voice a false flanging effect "Shepard, this must not be a difficult role for you to play." or "Shepard, perhaps you have a new career ahead of you if you decide to stop being a Spectre." She winced internally at the last part, realizing that she was sounding more defensive than she intended.

Feron took a single breath, and then stepped up, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Well, if you must know, I WAS going to say something; I was going to say that this must be quite difficult for you, given your past history." He stopped her gently from responding "And yes, I do know something of your past, at least what Earth criminal records and juvenile reports revealed. I was going to say that this plan may hold some...discomfort for you. But that I was impressed with your dedication to the job, that it seemed to me that you weren't letting "delicate sensibilities" ultimately stand in the way. With that said...I'm willing to discuss alternative ways to infiltrating Omega; I understand better than most the power that our...past memories can hold over us."

Holly nodded, then paused, the offering touching her deeply. She murmured "Thanks...sorry. Yeah..it...brings up things I'd rather not dwell on. And I appreciate it, but no, we need to go through with it, this way. It's our best chance, and I've already put pieces of the plan in place that more or less depend on us sticking to this script." She then brightened up, just a touch, her usual, more jovial self coming back. "Believe me, if we could do this differently, *I* would so be wearing a business suit, and you, my Drell joyboy, would be wearing the fishmesh tanktop and leather assless chaps."

"Shepard...that is not the sort of image that a member of a species with near perfect memory needs to have put in their head..."

"Ha...yeah...sorry. Alright. Lets go over the plan in detail again, before we make stationfall."

An hour and 10 minutes later, the docking hatch to the Modesty Blaise opened, a single Drell stepping out. Unseen to observers was Shepard, tactical cloak engaged, quickly, silently darting out just after him, before the hatch closed. Per the plan, she made her way down to one of the darker alleys, dropping the cloak in an appropriately safe location, and then keeping to herself in one of the corners, at least until Feron arrived.

A Batarian had already come up, grinning savagely, and started to eye her like a piece of meat. He inquired "How much?". Fortunately, before she had to come up with an excuse, Feron arrived, grabbed her roughly by the arm, and said "What are you doing down here, you dumb bitch? You know you were supposed to meet me on the upper level ten minutes ago!" This had the dual benefit of shutting the conservation down, while making the roles seem authentic.

Holly murmured very softly, once they were out of earshot. "Nice work, boss. That couldn't have gone better."

"Mmmm. Yes. We do seem to be blending into the background well enough, at least to the casual observer. I'm not sure why you were so insistent on my wearing the dark sunglasses, though."

"Old Earth custom. A pair of glasses are the ultimate disguise. Doesn't work for Drell that way?"

"I wouldn't think we were so easily mislead, no."

They made their way to the Afterlife, Feron guiding Shepard along roughly by the arm, as he stepped up to one of the Asari guarding the ramp up to Aria's pearch.

"Kazim Drax. Aria...is expecting me."

The Asari gave them both a very incredulous look, and walked up, whispering to the Pirate Queen herself. Aria nodded once, and waved her hand to let them up.

Feron pushed Shepard down into a seat next to Aria, who looked her over up and down, and smiled with absolute wickedness. Feron sat down on the other side of the two women.

"Well. Well. Well! Shepard. Goddess, your coded message gave me just the barest details of what to expect with this meeting, but I didn't fully appreciate it until now. I had a whole little speech prepared about your joining the Commandos, and how you must have finally realized it was far more worthwhile to be with the Asari instead of your own...lackluster species. But THIS. Words fucking fail me, regarding the absolute deliciousness of the situation.

Shepard murmured through clenched teeth, trying to keep her head down, and a meek look about her. "You know the details. We're probably being watched, just play along, and this won't take long."

Aria reached up, stroking Shepard's hair - or wig, at any rate - and then began to tilt her face this way and that, as if appraising a racehorse. "Oh, are you fucking kidding me? I want this to last as long as possible. I'm even willing to take you to my quarters, to conduct the rest of the...ah...meeting." She smiled unkindly at this.

Feron leaned in, and murmured "Look, we need to make this quick. There is a human information broker, by the name of Byron Shelley. He set up a base here in the last month or two."

Aria's expression darkened considerably. "And assuming this is even true, WHY the hell should I care?"

Shepard jumped in. "We just need you to tell us where we can find him. We could search, but we're running on limited time, and the search itself would conceivably tip our hand before we found him."

Aria pulled back. "And why...the fuck...would I tell either of you anything? Please. This is Omega, MY Omega. Do you know how bad it would be if it got out that I started working with the Spectres so blatantly?" She then sneered, leaning back in towards Holly, resting a firm hand on her thigh "Even if they're cosplaying as whores, now?" She squeezed her hand, and let the impact sink in, just a bit "What could you POSSIBLY say to me to convince me to help you? Even if this...Shelley human was here on Omega."

There was a long pause, a silence falling across the table. Just as Aria opened her mouth to say something, Shepard interjected.

"He tried to have Liara killed. And our unborn daughter."

Quickly closing her mouth, and then frowning darkly, Aria fixed an intense gaze onto Shepard, their eyes locking. They stayed this way for the better part of a minute, before she leaned in, and whispered, angrily.

"Shepard...let me make myself so incredibly clear. You better...you BETTER not be fucking with me here. Do you understand me? Because if I find out that you were just telling me that in order to get my help? I WILL fucking kill you. I will toss out all of our past history together, and I will come after you. Seriously, I will track you down and kill you myself, with my own bare hands. So I give you this one last chance to back out..."

Shepard shook her head once, and spoke in a low, even tone "Why the hell do you think I'm dressed up like this, Aria? It sure as shit isn't to give you a thrill!"

Aria didn't rise to the bait, still glaring at Shepard. Finally, she said "Zeta District. I let the asshole have an old Cerberus installation there. He's got the entrance hidden behind a false bulkhead in Section G7. But there's a secondary entrance in section I somewhere you might be able to use as well. Anyhow, the man is a miserable bigot, but he paid for everything upfront. So I won't shed a fucking tear if he gets kicked out and I get to keep the credits."

Feron glanced to Aria "Would you consider ownership of the facility...transferable?"

She looked back and smirked "What do you think, scale-face?" She glanced up, then rolled her eyes "Yes...okay. But only after a "transfer fee" that you will no doubt consider unreasonable and outrageous. Too fucking bad. But it'll be less than what I charged him."

Shepard leaned in close, whispering to Aria "Thank you."

Aria gripped Shepard back the back of her head and responded, but in a softer tone of voice this time. "Enjoy your daughter, Shepard. Enjoy every damn minute that the Goddess sees fit to bless you with her. Take it from a Mother; you will never know when she'll be gone...taken away from you. Now get the fuck out of my club."

Aria suddenly rose up and snorted in disgust, speaking up for the surrounding guards and patrons to hear. "Please! I'm Aria, damnit! You think I can't do better than this fucking piece of trash? You've got two hours to get off my station!"

Feron led Shepard out, chastising her severely, while Shepard pretended to sob and make pathetic apologies. They kept the act up until they found one a particularly dark and disused corridor, where they began to make their preparations for the final phase of the mission.

* * *

_Holliandra was barely 17, the first time she saw someone beaten down in her name._

_There was a new girl that had just joined. Kelly was the name...maybe? But whatever her name actually was she seemed...alright. Cute even, just a hair short of 5'7", thin frame and build, with a map of dirty blond hair. Got kicked out by her religious grandparents who were raising her, when they found out about her 'preferences', and she found she had nowhere left to go but the streets. Didn't happen very much anymore, not like it did 100 years or more ago, but it still was not completely unheard of._

_She seemed nice enough though...Shepard had only talked to her once or twice. But this was one of those times that she was "with Tharka". She had gotten on Lilitu's bad side...somehow...and it was the only way to keep the crazy Arabic girl from coming after her; fighting crazy with crazy. But because of that, Tharka was feeling highly possessive, and decided to pick a fight with Kelly. God, the poor girl. She had tried so hard to talk Tharka down, trying to reason with her, then meet her aggression in kind, and then finally pleading. But in the end, it didn't keep the blonde psychopath from absolutely brutalizing the hell out of her._

_Holly hated herself the whole time as she was watching. Not so much because she refused to stand up and try to call Tharka off - though that was a large part of it, too - but because she was getting excited by watching. The notion that she had this...effect, this power, over the brutish wall of muscle that was Tharka was thrilling to her. Holly got lost in the notion, the fantasy, that she had the other girl wrapped around her finger, that she could claim Tharkas power for her own and send it out where she wanted, for no specifically good reason than...she simply could._

_By the time Tharka had delivered the last blow, Holly stood up and placed a deep, sloppy, frantic kiss on her mouth. The other girls in the room hooted and hollered, and the pair soon found themselves in one of the other rooms in the condemned house the gang was currently occupying._

_Holly tilted her head and exhorted Tharka to bite her as hard as she could, offering herself up as the prize for her champion. The pain was blinding, but exquisite at the same time, and at times the house practically shook with the violence in their sex, essentially a mixture of heavy petting and outright beating the crap out of each other. But after an hour or two, it was finally over._

_And like the other times before, Holly wished she was dead...wondered how long she would let life on the streets do this to her before she found a way to escape, or before it killed her in earnest._

_Later that night, she had come to Kelly, had tried to apologize to her; the new girl was in bad shape, but she had covered up well enough in the end to escape the worst of the damage. Predictably, Kelly bitterly shot down any attempt at burying the hatchet, and swore she'd kill her if Holly came near her again._

_Holly realized that she did this; she took what little innocence might have been left in this girl, and let Tharka beat it out, all because of her sickness and her teenage hormones. This had to stop...somehow...it had to end. Before anyone else got hurt. Anyone that wasn't her._

_She found Lilitu's door, and knocked on it. The white-haired girl opened it up, after a few seconds, the look in her eyes suggesting she was currently strung out a bit on something. She glared down at Holly._

_"...the fuck you want, whore? Decided to stop hiding behind your Daddy?"_

_Shepard spoke very softly, almost inaudible_

_"Lil...I don't know what I did to get on your bad side, this time. But if you want to take it out on me...you...you fucking do it. Here."_

_Holly then pulled out a combat knife; the same one that she had gotten the night she had almost been raped and killed. She handed it over to Lilitu. Maybe she'd cut on her a bit. Maybe she'd cut something off. Or maybe she'd finally kill her. Holly didn't care anymore. All she knew was that she had to pay, somehow. For her sins, of which the number seemed to ever increase._

_Holly attempted to step inside, by Lilitu pushed her back out, roughly. She had confused expression on her face, one that quickly dissolved into a mask of anger, as if taking insult._

_"Keepin' the knife...but you don't get off that easy, bitch. You'll never see me coming. I'm still gonna kill you."_

_The attack did finally come, almost two weeks later. Lil had been fast, but Tharka had been faster. Holly got off with a nice new scar on her leg; Lilitu ended up dead. Tharka had expected another "reward" like last time, but Holly refused to give it to her. She prayed that maybe Tharka would be the one to kill her, but she hadn't been so lucky. Just a black eye and a slightly cracked rib._

_Beyond that, she had merely "fallen out" with her, until two weeks later, when Tharka decided to re-establish her claim. It seemed the cycle was something Holly was never going to escape, not without changing who she was, on a fundamental level. One way or the other._

_Holly got her knife back though. Since Lilitu refused to do the job...she took to cutting herself instead for a while. Maybe she didn't have the guts to kill herself, but she could at least deliver her own penance._

* * *

It took nearly three hours for Feron to meet Shepard at the rendezvous point in Zeta district, a very poorly populated part of Omega. Finding Shelley's base was a simple matter, once they knew where to look, and she had put the time to very good use, slowly probing, testing, and peeling back the layers of Shelley's base security from an access panel located at the secondary entrance Aria mentioned. She had to give him credit; it was definitely one of the more complex and well-designed systems she had ever had to deal with. Its single flaw was that it was still largely based on Cerberus tech and protocols. All of which she was oh-so-familiar with, thanks to time and experience. By the time she had changed into her armored Commando uniform, her combat eyepiece and strapped on her weapons, she only needed one more hour to finish up her work: planting in various useful logic bombs and system overrides.

The plan had been to try and avoid as much of the guards and patrols as possible, and to use non-lethal force wherever feasible. Feron had hopes that her could take over the operation once Shelley was dealt with, and going out of their way not to needlessly kill the staff made that sort of thing far easier to pull off as an end result.

Shepard, for her part, honestly enjoyed doing it this way; part of it was of course the challenge it presented, a way to hone and test her Infiltration skills. But a large part was getting away from the large amounts of indiscriminate killing that she had been resorting to over the past few years. Certainly, the vast majority of it had been justified, but a situation like this helped remind her that the war was over...and perhaps it was time to adopt a more law-enforcement based mindset. No doubt some of the other Spectres would chide her for it, but as far as Shepard was concerned, they could mind their own damn business. She certainly wasn't planning to run around and knock the grenade out of their hand when they we trying to do their job.

There were also certain opportunities that presented themselves when it was clear one's intent was not to kill unless absolutely necessary. Like an Asari systems engineer named Talika whom they encountered. Who loathed working for an arrogant fop like Byron, was only doing this to make money for Music school, playing the Asari crystal harp, and "thank you very much for taking an interest in me as an actual person."

She was more than happy to switch sides, and use her authorization codes to clear a path straight to Shelley's inner office.

Shepard and Feron took position and each side of the door, listening in for a moment, before barging in. It sounded like Shelley was having a heated discussion with someone on the comm; she could only hear his side of it.

_"Well I would HOPE it had failed, the point was to scare, not kill...what do you MEAN you didn't get that part of the message? My God, I need a way to CONTROL that blasted woman, and that mewling naive archeologist she's gone and married is the way to do it! If T'Soni is DEAD, then that all goes out the fecking window!"_

Shepard rolled her eyes. She honestly couldn't tell if Shelley was actually British or just affecting the accent.

There was a pause for a moment, before he began to yell

_"YOU,,.are an incompetent waste of flesh! I'm certain if I had went to a HUMAN to get the job done..the job bloody well would have been done, and properly!"_

At that, it sounded as if he cut the channel, then called up one of his agents.

_"Babbage, I need you to start keeping an close eye on who starts coming into Omega. Shepard is getting very late for making planetfall on Kalypso, and I'm starting to have some doubts as to whether she's actually heading there at all. If she finds out her...wife...almost got assassinated, that's going to complicate matters."_

Shepard silently motioned to Feron that it was "go" time, and pressed a button on her Omni-Tool. All communications and security systems from the inner sanctum were suddenly cut off, effectively isolating Shelley from the rest of his base crew. The doors hissed open, and the pair swooped in.

Leveling her N7 Eagle pistol at him, she said "Matters just got complicated."

Holly was rather satisfied to find Shelley genuinely surprised and caught off-guard; as the old military chestnut went, she loved it when a plan came together.

Shelley reached down, slamming some sort of panic button on his console. Blanched when he found nothing happened. Then smiled.

"Gentlemen, I do believe I require your assistance."

There was the _*ka-chunk*_ of shotguns being cocked, and out of the corner of her eyes, she saw two armed Krogan stepping out from behind what appeared to be decorative partitions to the side. Shepard groaned internally, and then chided herself. How the hell could she have missed this? After all the careful prep work she had undertaken. Of course, she only had Feron's intel to go by mostly, with regards to Byron's sanctum and any guards that must be in there. Besides simply getting damned cocky, either Feron missed something or was setting her up.

"Well. The Great and Noble Holliandra Shepard. Could you please be so kind as to drop your weapon? You too, you walking iguana."

Shepard started to comply but Feron stopped her "Don't bother." He narrowed his eyes, and turned to one of the Krogan, dressed in black and red armor. "I'm assuming you're Talok Krev?"

The Krogan grunted once "Yeah. You the Drell who contacted me?"

"Yes. I believe if you check your account, you'll find that an automated transfer occurred 10 minutes ago. The amount is as we agreed upon, plus the...additional key item we discussed."

Shelley turned to Krev "What the hell is this?!"

The Krogan ignored his boss entirely, short of suddenly turning his shotgun on him. "You better not be lying, Drell, or I'll make a damn pair of boots out of you." He then paused, checking a display on his Omni-Tool. Thirty seconds later, he looked up, and called out to the other Krogan across the room. "Belvik. Baby, he came through! We're golden!"

The pair suddenly crossed the room, gripped each others forearms and gently butted foreheads. "Now we can finally get out of here, settle down exactly like I promised you."

Belvik, obviously a male of his species as well, grinned toothily "Never doubted you for a second. Let's go."

The pair departed, ignoring a sputtering Byron Shelley as he shouted demands for them to kill Shepard and Feron. Krev turned to Feron and nodded "You did us a solid, Drell. Won't forget it. Have fun killing fancy pants here, or whatever you plan to do with him. Damn, but he was a prick to work for."

Shepard turned to Feron, still keeping her gun trained on Shelley. "Alright. I'm impressed..."

Feron stepped up to Shelley, and said "You should take a little more interest in those under your employ. Krev and Belvik have been been in a relationship for the better part of 8 months. A sizable sum of credits and an otherwise near impossible-to-acquire membership pass to a...well..let's say a rather exclusive retirement community for Krogan such as themselves was apparently more than they could refuse."

Shelley glowered, and slowly clapped "Oh yes. Very droll." He then smiled unpleasantly and turned to Shepard.

"Well then, I suppose I surrender. Take me in, hand me over to the authorities on the Citadel. Go ahead...Chop chop. The sooner to get back to that blue skinned squid-headed mate of yours." He smirked, and Shepard damn well knew why; man probably had enough pull, knew enough secrets, had enough money secreted away that they would never find in time to get his way out of this. He'd never see more than a day or two in jail before getting back out. And then they would be back to square one.

Shepard took a deep breath, reaching down into that broken part of her, that part from childhood, the piece she swore she'd resist giving into if she could at all help it, not since she joined the Systems Alliance military. The part she thought she had put largely to bed, until today.

She starred Shelley down, and said in a soft, flat voice "What makes you think I won't just gun you down, right here? Right now?"

Shelley snorted and spun around in his chair, as if gleefully mocking her. "Oh please. I know you too well, Shepard. The model soldier. the Paragon of doing right, even when right is the more difficult thing to do. You don't think I've not studied your record in detail? Familiarized myself with the choices that you've made, sussed out where you chose to take the harder, longer way because you refused to be absolutely ruthless when you had to? When you really should have been?"

He shook his head, pityingly.

"You honestly think I'm scared that you'll gun a man down in cold blood? Not after he's surrendered to you, that I'm most definitely certain of."

She tilted her head slightly, like a puppet with a broken string, and again speaking softly, said "It's true. I believed in the ideas of the Systems Alliance Armed Forces, and I did everything humanly possible to live up to and uphold those ideals. But let me tell you something a certain dead Krogan on Tuchanka and a still-living Quarian Admiral both discovered..."

She fired once, catching Shelley clean in the shoulder. Intentionally using armor-piercing rounds, so that the projectile would go straight through his shoulder and spin him to the side.

"I've been known to play against type."

She holstered the pistol and quickly bridged the distance between herself and Byron, found him trying to reach for a hold-out weapon under the desk, and grabbed his hand. Placing it flat on the desk, she smashed the top of the palm as hard as she could with her fist; the powdered metal in the weighted knuckles of her Commando uniform added a tremendous bit of extra kick, thus rewarding her with a sickening crunch of bone and sinew and a scream of pain from Shelley.

Next, she grabbed him by the scruff of collar of the velvet, fancy-cut suit jacket he wore and tossed him off the raised dais that his desk sat upon. He tried to crawl away, but Holly landed a solid kick at the ribs, another crunch punctuating the air. It sent him sliding across the floor, coughing and wheezing.

He was still defiant though, even after she propped him sitting up against the wall, still unbroken even after she nailed him solidly across the face with her fist. He spat blood at her in response.

"This...this the best you got? You think you can play at being "bad cop" and I'm going to mewl like a kitten for you? You don't have it in you, little girl!"

He spat blood out at her. And she wiped it off her cheek.

Holly's placid expression suddenly turned vicious, a feral grin spreading across her lips. That was when that old feeling started returning again. That warm thrill of excitement, the sexual tension of sadism. Almost without even realizing what she was doing, she called forth an Omni-blade from her wrist tool, a vicious looking combat blade, not entirely unlike the one she had used, all those years ago.

She held him back hard against the wall with one hand. With the other, she sliced, slow and careful against his chest, red blooming against the lace of Shelley's shirt, his wince and calling out of epithets eliciting a snarl from her, in the back of her nose and throat. She leaned in and breathed against his ear.

"You studied my file, little man. Have you...really? Do you think you really understand me? For four years, I grew up on the streets of one of the most economically depressed cities in North America. I don't think you have any idea what that does...what it does to a person, what it forces them to become. The monsters it gives rise to, inside. And you either embrace it entirely, or you fight it, you make it work for you. The reason why I joined the military? I was desperate to find a way out of Hell itself, desperate to find a way to cage the beast. To find something bigger and devote myself to it. If I'm a Paragon, as you say, it's because it's the bars of the cage that bind the beast, what I use to take that...darkness...and put it to much better ends. But...and this is the funny thing.." She actually started to give a slight, soft, maddening laugh at this...

She flicked a switch on her Omnitool, and the blade started to grow yellow-hot. As she traced it over his inner thighs, it began to cauterize the cuts as they were made, scarring him for life. His screams were practically shaking the walls of the chamber now.

"That beast? That broken part inside myself? It's sooooo...sooo much better now, at killing, at inflicting pain. An amateur sadist? That's one thing. But one with advanced military training? Mmmmmmm. Thats so much more...yummy." Her smile seemed a twisted, ghastly parody of innocent radiance now.

"And worse yet? For you? The beast... is in looooove." The last few words said in a sort of sing-song tone of voice.

_It had been so easy...too easy...to bring this all back, to bring it out of it's little cage, after all these years._

Shelley looked over to Feron, panting now, a desperate look forming in his eyes. "Okay...okay I...give. Please...please stop her. We can make a deal..."

Feron looked up from the desk console he was working at, securing the systems in the complex. He shook his head once, hardly expending any effort in the motion, and then went back to work. Still...he kept watch over the pair, in the corner of one eye.

Shepard herself was also starting to breathe hard at this point, the grin transfixed on her face. She grabbed Shelley by the short ponytail of his hair, and forced his head to the side, a flashback of her doing the same thing to her almost rapist at age 15 flashing in her mind's eye. She held the blade close, enough for the heat of it to scald his flesh. She leaned in, breathing against his ear again.

"You threatened my woman. Worse yet, you tried to have her killed." She didn't care right now whether it had been a miscommunication or not. "This is the woman I would die for. More importantly ...this is the woman I would kill for. Gladly, and joyously. I don't think you know what it's like, to be a sadist in love. To be willing to do the most...horrible things to someone, and literally feel such...rapture at the thought of doing it in their name. Maybe I'll hang onto this, this feeling right now. Maybe the next time I meld with her, she'll understand, and it will...excite her, as well. Maybe she'll want to feel more, and I'll keep you alive, somewhere very dark, and very cold, so I can cut you up, oh so slowly, into a million little pieces. Starting with the worst cut of all.

The blade trailed down, between Shelley's legs. She canted her head in Feron's direction.

"He's not going to stop me, you know. Why should he?"

The blade was suddenly gone, Shepard smashing Shelley's face once again with the backside of her fist. He gave out another cry for help, spitting out a couple of teeth. She was on him then, pinning him against the wall with her weight, breathing so hard at this point.

"Not right now, not so quick, little boy."

Her hands were around his throat, and suddenly it was like she was back in the Pit.

She was very still, her eyes locked with Shelley's. She then spoke, as if in a trance.

"I just realized...something. I don't have to let you live, to make my point. When they see...what I've done to you. To your corpse...no one will ever fuck...with me...again." Her fingers started to twitch, threatening to tighten, as her gaze, straining dangerously past sanity, bore into his.

And then the quiet was broken by sobbing. Holly thought maybe it was her, at first, until she saw the tears streaming from Byron's eyes.

Sobs continued to wrack his body, as he looked up.

"Please...please...God...please...please don't. Don't..." His face was a pathetic mess of bruises, tears, and the desperation of a man who would do anything not to die at this moment.

This time...it was different...that pang of empathy failed to come, at least not as strongly as it had before. Years of military training, teaching her how to supress it, how not to think about the lives she was ending, in the course of duty. They had taught her, all too well.

The broken beast inside howled with delight, causing Shepard to tremble visibly. She simply smiled, holding up the Omniblade forged anew, and hissed "That's it...cry for me, little boy. I want to hear you scream the whole time. The final act is coming...and it's going to take...so very very long..."

"Shepard." Feron's voice suddenly spoke out. Soft, but insistent.

She ignored it at first, until he called out again.

"Shepard!" This time, far firmer. There was a hand at her shoulder, and she jerked away, almost snarling back at the Drell, as if to warn him away from her territory.

Looking at him, looking up at him, flooded her mind with the memories of another Drell she knew, what seemed like so very long ago.

_Thane._

_What would Thane think, if he could see her now? She had almost been in love with him, in her own way. And Liara..._

_Oh God...Liara._

Delight transmuted into horrific shame, so quickly.

_Oh God...what had she done? What had she almost done, and what had she done already?_

Feron continued "The new Shadow Broker...made it clear that Shelley is free to continue on as a direct asset in the network...if he's amenable to the notion..."

A sickness started to well up in her stomach, deep and ominous, like a gathering storm. She rose, wobbled slightly, and started to walk out the door, as Feron went to check on the sobbing wreck of a man that had been Byron Shelley, now making pitiful thanks to the one who had saved him.

As soon as the door closed behind Shepard, the blade came back again. Moving with practiced, surgical precision, she used it to cut slowly into the forearm of her uniform, and down to the flesh. She bit down on her lip to keep from crying out, eyes shut so tightly. The familiar shock seemed to bring her back the rest of the way to her senses, as the cut welled up with blood on her arm.

She started to move with a robotic motion, a calm slowness, out of the complex. She dimmly heard Feron over the PA system...something about assuming command...she couldn't make out much beyond that.

Holly had gotten what she wanted. It had cost her. So dearly. She was fairly certain she'd recover. But oh...it had cost her.

The only pride she could take when it was all over was that she had made it out of the complex before finally falling to her knees, and vomiting violently.

* * *

_Holliandra was halfway to 18, when she realized she had to get the hell off the streets, before it was too late...if it wasn't already._

_The last few months had been...better. But only by dint of her limiting her time being around Tharka and the Furies in general. Tharka killing Lilitu over Holly had changed something in the group dynamic. Most of the others started giving her a wider berth; even Jetter seemed a bit more distant to her than in the past. And as far as Holly was concerned that suited her just fine._

_She busied herself, first with stealing just enough to get by, and then by actually doing something terribly shocking:_

_She started taking odd jobs._

_It was hard work, stacking boxes, sweeping warehouse floors, washing dishes, for a measly handful of Republic Dollars, but it was honest, and it gave her a sense of stability and purpose. It also gave her just enough flexibility, floating from job to job, to spend the rest of her time in the library continuing on with her own self-education. Or engaging in the useful bit of petty thievery._

_She wasn't on the straight and narrow, not yet. But she was trying to get there, in her own way._

_She wasn't fooling herself though. She was like an alcoholic trying to keep from looking at the liquor cabinet back home, keeping herself busy all the while. She was almost a legal adult though, and it was clear she needed to find some way off the streets, no matter what. She didn't want to end up like Jetter, who should already have graduated college. And she didn't want to end up like Tharka, who was 19...but to her credit, the idiot also didn't want to stay on the streets forever. Her notion, however, had been to run off to Omega, and become a merc. Worse yet, she kept pestering her to come with her, like she had planned this great vision out for the both of them._

_Holly didn't want to go to Omega. She never really liked Tharka all that much, but more importantly, she was worried that if she went down that road, she'd never be able to really look at herself in the mirror again._

_Her life had started to fill with a sense of quiet desperation. All she needed was to be shown a better way. Something that didn't involve her working odd jobs for minimum wage the rest of her life. Something that she could actually be proud of, could wake up in the morning and say "I love what I do."_

_It was barely six months before she turned 18. She made up her mind that she'd find...something, by then. That she wouldn't be celebrating that birthday with a gang in some condemned flophouse._

_She had started to pass by a new prefab on the streets, down in Livonia, having just picked up a few extra bucks fencing jewelry she had snatched off some officious rich idiot. She was curious about the structure, how it stuck out like a sore thumb in the rest of the urban blight._

_"Systems Alliance? Geeze...UN in Space or something, right? Probably a bunch of morons" Just another part of The System, far as she was concerned. The same one that had let her fall into this moral abyss in the first place._

_Still, she'd never really seen a holo-display before. Figure she'd at least indulge her curiosity for a minute, and then continue to figure out how to get off Earth, get away from the streets before they finally won out over her humanity._

* * *

At a lone table in the Afterlife club, Shepard stared down at the cup of black coffee cooling on the table in front of her. It was Elcor coffee, which meant it was going to be horrible to some extent or another...she wasn't even sure if she really wanted it at the moment...but it had seem like the thing to do. It was certainly a better option than hard liquor, at the moment.

She hadn't noticed Aria slipping down into a chair in front of her until she cleared her throat. Glancing up, she noticed the Asari had a "cat that ate the canary" smile on her face.

"Finally put it together, you know. Finally figured it out."

Not looking up to meet her gaze, Shepard murmured "Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

"Who you really are, Holliandra Shepard. I mean, who you REALLY are. It wasn't until I heard about what happened to that man you attacked that I finally put it all together."

Shepard finally looked up, a tired expression on her face "Really? Must be pretty damn special if you actually deigned to come down from your throne to sit with the groundlings."

Aria steepled her fingers "That's rich, coming from a woman who puts on airs of being such a champion of the righteous, who, it turns out, is just as corrupt as any of us. Let me tell you a story..."

Shepard picked up her cup, and took a swig, winced, and said "Great, let me start working on this coffee. If I'm lucky, it'll kill me before you can finish."

Undeterred, Aria continued "About 14 years ago, this idiot woman-child from Earth, this blond oaf from your home planet shows up. On MY station. And remember, this was back before Humans were so...tolerated. So she somehow manages to make it here, and starts loudly demanding that Eclipse take her on, or barring that, some other merc company. It was very...entertaining, to say the least. And do you know this precious waifs name?"

Shepard sighed heavily, took a loud slurp of coffee, before answering "Yes, but I'd hate to deprive you of the tingly satisfaction you'd no doubt get telling me."

Aria snorted "Theresa McGibbon."

Shepard paused, tapping the side of her face. "McGibbon. I could never remember that last name. Yeah, I made the mistake of calling her Terry once, and she nearly bashed my face in."

"Yes. And somehow, instead of getting shoved out the airlock in less than a week, Jaroth decided to take her on. Mostly because she managed to get in a lucky shot at one of his other grunts, and took them down without a second thought when she had the advantage."

"Lucky her. Unlucky him."

"Yes. You saw the eventual result. She couldn't hack it, that little girl. She assumed they'd just put a gun in her hand and tell her where to shoot, simple as that. She couldn't pick up on the training they tried to give her, didn't have the dedication or the patience of which even a mercenary needs a fucking modicum. Ultimately, a couple of Asari in the group got it into their head to introduce her to _falhava_..."

Better known as Asari Blue Opium. Vaporous narcotic, came in elegant little glass phials you snapped in half under your nose. Shepard had tried it, once, with the Kusayanagi Sisters. She had liked it. A lot. Enough to know that she needed to stay the hell away from it in the future. Tharka would not have been so...disciplined.

"I gave her a try, one night. Not long after that little birthday party of yours 8 years back. Out of sheer curiosity, mind you. It was a rare grotesquerie to indulge in. Anyhow, after I was done with her, she had a little bit of a breakdown...can't imagine why." Aria gave an exceedingly cruel smile at this.

"Stupid bitch started going on and on about how she was supposed to originally come to Omega with a girl she was sweet on. She was absolutely convinced that they were destined to be together. Convinced they were soul mates...both absolutely screwed up in the same way. Blamed herself, for 'chasing her off'. And about a week later? She died. Overdose. But fucking idiot me, I never put two and two together fully until today."

Shepard frowned, then bowed her head slightly. She figured Tharka was probably dead by now. Still, she couldn't help but feel a wave of pity wash through her. She wasn't sure if the blonde girl had ever actually loved her...but she had always had a bit of an obsession, and maybe that was as close as Tharka had ever gotten to love.

Hell of a way to have your life ultimately end, though. Poor damn Tharka.

_"Wonder what the SAAF could have done with HER..."_

"Look Aria, are you going somewhere with this...?"

She leaned in "Yeah. You put on this fucking Polly Purity act, when in the end...you're no better than any of us here. Worse, in that at least, we're honest about who and what we are."

Holly finished up her coffee, put the cup down, and considered for a moment.

"I see it more like being honest to my better, truer self, and not using the dark side as a God damn excuse when I hit a rough patch. I don't feel the need to...revel."

Aria whispered "I saw how much you enjoyed watching me choke Petrovsky."

It was true, Shepard admitted to herself. She had found it...very appealing. A part of her did, at least. Still...

"I stopped you. And you let me. He lived, and the SAAF got good intel out of him. So maybe you don't revel as much as you think. I know you well enough by now, Aria. You'd still rather be in control, than be controlled...that's the REAL way you and me are alike"

The Asari woman frowned at this as she sat back. After a long pause, she smiled once again.

"Still...pity you never came to Omega with her. She was doomed from the start. But you? You could have been so amazing. Who knows where you'd be today? Although I can entertain several...delightful possibilities."

Aria reached out, toying delicately with Shepard's hair, flirtatiously.

Holly snapped back her head...that was something reserved for only one Asari in the Galaxy. And Aria wasn't her.

Aria smirked. "Can't blame a woman for trying."

"Yeah, I can, Aria. I really can."

Shepard tried to push back the knot forming in her stomach again.

Aria rose imperiously and said "Let me know if you ever get tired of pretending to play on the side of angels. When you realize that without having to feel like you need to live up to military expectations, and with the freedom you'll have as a Spectre, you'll be far more willing to...indulge yourself. Until then...watch your back on my fucking station."

She turned and headed off, back to her private lounge.

Shepard closed her eyes for a good minute, head hung. When she opened them back up, Feron was sitting across from her.

"Jesus fuck!" She jumped a bit, then blanched at having missed it. Couldn't help but be impressed at the same time.

"Sorry Shepard. Didn't intend to startle you. Thought you might want to know...I'm going to be staying here for a bit. I'll find my own transportation back."

She nodded once. A long silence endured between them, before Holly asked.

"Did I make a mistake, Feron? Have I done something completely irredeemable?"

"I can't answer that for you, Shepard. If it helps, though, I think you've got what you intended. Word is quickly spreading through Omega: Don't fuck with Shepard or her bondmate."

She smiled, weakly "Sure you helped with that, a bit. Hell, it's barely been 5 hours."

Feron shrugged slightly.

"And if it helps, I think Shelley will...recover. He's already regaining a small bit of his bravado but...you've shaken him as well. Deeper than he'll admit to himself. You've shown him something I think he'd not seen before. Now he suddenly seems to have no trouble working for the new Shadow Broker."

"You really think you can trust him?"

"Oh no. Never in a million years. I've implied that the new Broker is someone else, someone neither Liara, nor myself. But he's not an idiot. He'll definitely figure it out sooner than later. And then I imagine I will kill him at last. But if I can get something useful out of him in the meantime, why let it go to waste?"

Shepard held her face in her hand for a moment, and then asked.

"Make it quick. Don't let him see it coming. Please?"

They had already both killed Byron, in their own way. It seemed needlessly cruel to put him through that again, when it was time to finish the job.

"Of course."

"Thank you." she said, very softly.

Feron peered curiously at her, and nodded once. "You are a complicated woman, Holliandra Shepard. More so than I anticipated."

"And you're...a much stronger person than I thought, as well. Please take it as a compliment. I think that...well...all those Broker resources are in the right hands."

Feron smiled lightly "Thank you. I traveled with you in close quarters for almost a month. I have to admit I actually enjoyed myself. But the important part is this: Ultimately, you ARE a good woman, Shepard. As long as you actually WANT to be. Because you understand you have the capacity to be a...bad one. But you fight it, every day. Just keep up that fight...keep your loved ones close at hand, to remind you of what you're fighting for, internally and externally. And I think you'll be fine."

"Yeah well..I almost didn't remember this time. Thank you, by the way. For...for saving me. I took a really big chance back there, and it very nearly blew up in my face. Still might be picking up the pieces for a while yet, to be honest."

"Mmmm. It was the least I could do...I suppose you could almost say we're even now, except that I don't feel the need to keep that sort of tabulation...well...at least not with you."

"Yeah, well. Anyhow. I...really need to get off this station now. Very far away, for a while. So I think I'm going to leave, right now."

She rose, and Feron did likewise. They looked each other over, and she suddenly leaned in to hug him, whispering.

"See ya round, SB."

"Oh yes. I will definitely be staying in touch..."

"Yeah, let's make sure we have a better Spectre/Broker relationship than the last pair, right?"

He laughed lightly. They parted, she waved to him once as she walked backwards away, and then headed back to her ship.

* * *

Shepard was sprawled out on her bed in her small cabin. She had just finished repairing the self-inflicted damage, both to her outfit and to herself. She was holding up a datapad, having received a transmission from Liara in the past few hours.

It was a picture of her. Naked, and standing somewhere in a mountainous region. Arm over her breasts, hand over her sex, both arms framing the swelling baby bump of her abdomen, the sunset dipping low behind her. Shepard thought it was the most erotic and yet purely innocent thing she had ever seen in her life. Her eyes welled up with a few tears as she reached out to touch the picture tenderly with her fingertips, tracing them down from Liara's face to her stomach.

She hugged the datapad to her chest, desperately, as if somehow she could will Liara to join her through the act. And that was when she made up her mind to tell her.

For a moment, Shepard thought that Liara surely must know, this darkness inside. They had melded so deeply, over the past year. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps it had been buried so well that it had been overlooked, and that it was now something that could be more easily discerned the next time they melded...at least for a while.

She also realized that if she kept this part of her hidden from her bondmate, or tried, it was only giving the...thing..more power over her. She realized that opening up to her this way was going to probably feel very...liberating, in the end.

"Mandy" Shepard called out, in a very soft voice. "Undock the ship and take us home. I want to go back to Thessia..."

"Colonel, may I remind you that you originally intended to contact Admiral Hackett, and that you would then eventually rendezvous with the Normandy? Have your plans changed?"

Shepard grimaced, a greatly pained expression on her face, eyes shut tightly, arching slightly, as if she had been shot or stabbed. Oh God...how could she have forgotten? And how could she get through this, another month or more before she could see Liara again?

Sounding defeated, Shepard answered.

"No...Mandy. You're right. Send a message to Hackett. Bounce it through Hayabusa, Spectre override priority. Set a course to Kalypso and encrypt a copy of that flight plan in the communique. He can intercept us there...or earlier, if they've really made the Normandy as fast as he was bragging."

Buoy coverage wasn't the best out in this neck of the Galactic woods, but she figured she'd easily have some sort of response by tomorrow at the latest. And now that she didn't have to remain in radio silence or depend on QEC level security, she could try getting a real time chat going with Liara soon...

"Affirmative, Colonel. Sending out the requested data and adjusting course as ordered."

There was a slight lurch, as Shepard felt the ship undock. In a few minutes, the mass effect drive engaged, and they were on their way. She realized then, how lonely the trip was going to be, and suddenly welcomed meeting up with the Normandy. Cold comfort was better than no comfort at all.

She held up the datapad, looking Liara over one more time.

_Keep your loved ones close at hand, to remind you of what you're fighting for, internally and externally. And I think you'll be fine."_

As long as Holly had her in her life...she knew she'd always be able to be the person she truly wanted to be. "I love you." she whispered to the picture. Three words that conveyed far more than she could easy described otherwise, what her bondmate really meant to her.

She placed a soft kiss on the screen of the datapad, held it close, turned over in her bed, and fell asleep.


	20. What The Heart Desires

**A/N: **Well, this was an odd little chapter to write. Something that needed to be done to advance the story, but not something I was particularly looking forward to writing. At times it felt a little bit like a slog, a bit forced, although I did start getting more into it near the end. Anyhow, my apologies if it isn't quite up to snuff.

Also, a little tip of the hat, yet again to **WordKrush,** who continues to make the best Asari-themed toys to play with.

Now to get back to answering some PM's later tonight :-)

**REVISION HISTORY:  
**

**5-30-13: **Small grammatical fix based on feedback.

* * *

Liara wasn't sure what to expect when she woke for her second day at the Develian monastery of Hachana. The day before, and the realization of exactly what she was going to have to accomplish, the gravity of it all, seemed terribly overwhelming to her. She hated to admit it to herself, but if there hadn't been so much at stake, something so precious as her daughter on the line, she might have found the task too daunting, and slunk off, as it sounded so many others before her had done. Or at least be so very sorely tempted.

But as it was, she had never been so committed to any singular goal in her life. The long hours she spent pouring over countless databases, books and records during the decades of her academic career, and the subsequent efforts devoted to uncovering the truth about the Protheans on dozens of different worlds scattered across the Galaxy seemed to fade into pale relief by comparison.

Still, she had to admit, beyond the very real danger that she and her unborn daughter was in, she found all of this rather...frustrating. She'd had no plans to "take it easy" during her pregnancy when she hoped it might go normally enough; Javik and she had been making splendid progress on the book they were writing together, and he had been uncharacteristically patient as their discussions grew less and less frequent over the past few months. Then there were the requests to speak at any number of university lectures, symposiums and conventions; if anything, she was more popular and "in-demand" now than she ever had been when she was merely Liara T'Soni, meek, outcast, pure blooded daughter living in her Mother's shadow, scratching away at old bits of a dead race. And she was really rather keen on staying busy, wanting to be more than simply the bondmate of Holly Shepard, and Mother to her daughters,.

_"I'm starting to understand why we usually wait a good 300 years or more before settling down"._

It also occurred to her that she was flirting dangerously with becoming just like her own Mother...and while Benezia certainly loved and cherished her, her heart still ached at the thoughts growing up, that she had often times felt she had come second to her Mother's political career and ambitions. Certainly, if she had let it, life as the Shadow Broker could have sucked her in, and become as all-consuming as Benezia's own had been. As much as a part of her...truly enjoyed the role, it was probably for the best that she had handed it off to Feron. Operating in the criminal underground was hardly a responsible role for a Mother-to-be...

At these thoughts, a pang of guilt shot through her. She had been so overcome with this need to start a family with Holly, so quickly...she should have thought it through, all of the consequences. She and Holly had spent at least a little time discussing the issue. She knew full well that her bondmate would be happy, either way they decided to go. It was only reminiscing over the issue once again that it suddenly hit her

_"This child is all I'll have left of her, in the end...when she's gone."_

And she had come so close to losing her forever, so many times in the past. Beyond that, there was still the reality that even if Shepard lived to a very long and ripe old age for a human, it would, at the very best, be maybe 15 percent of the usual Asari lifespan. Even at the tender age of 110, that was beginning to feel like such a short amount of time by comparison.

She was sitting in the courtyard, waiting for Ryal to arrive for the days lesson, chewing her way through the last bit of yet another of the wretched eezo-infused "health supplement bars" that Doctor V'Lork had prescribed; while they were certainly helping alleviate the worst of the symptoms she had been experiencing previously, she couldn't decide what she disliked more: the taste or the texture.

She swallowed what was left in her mouth hard, wincing at the discomfort, rising unsteadily to her feet to greet Ryal as she slowly made her way towards her. The First Vediya smiled lightly at her, and made a casual, dismissive wave with her hand. "Please child, don't get up, especially not for me...even if you were in the best of health."

She helped Liara back down, into a cross legged position and asked "So, how are you doing this morning?"

"Alright. Daunted a bit still, I suppose. But I'm ready to begin again."

Ryal nodded once "Good. Let us get right to it. There is an old metaphor I like to use, with what few students I have taken on for this sort of training: Yesterday, I let you try to climb the mountain yourself, not so that you could succeed, but simply so that you could see how high the mountain actually was. Today, I shall start teaching you simply how to climb."

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the pair fell into a comfortable pattern, Ryal working with Liara, teaching her ways to meditate, ancient methods to still and calm her mind. Techniques that most Asari found, at least after a surface glance, they had little use for, given their superior ability to control their own physical bodies.

"It is one thing" she said, on one of the first days "to control your nervous system so that you simply do not feel pain nearly as well, or to keep yourself going when your endurance starts to flag. It's another thing entirely to train your MIND to simply accept and then ignore whatever signals your body sends you, despite whatever control you feel you may have. Many Asari either take this for granted, or do not understand...either willfully or otherwise.

At the end of each day, Liara would try again, with the brazier challenge, the attempt to reach in, grasp a burning hot coal, in the safety of the mindscape created by Ryal, and hold onto it for as long as possible. In the first week or two, her frustration mounted palpably, as she tried in vain to master the task. After the third week though, she began to feel a bit of a change inside...hours of meditative focus had begun to help calm the fear and helplessness driving her on, and instead, she became more content to work at a slower pace, her attachment to the notion that she simply HAD to succeed in such a short span of time giving way to a subtle faith and confidence that she WOULD succeed, and that she simply needed to be patient with herself.

After the first month, she was able to hold her hand very near the corona of scalding heat emanating from the brazier for long minutes at a time. Still, Ryal couldn't help but notice one day, about five or six weeks since they had started, that Liara seemed increasingly distracted and frustrated. That she was beginning to slip back away from some of her progress.

As the day drew to a close, and the dark blue of dusk fell across the monastery, Ryal asked "Might I ask what troubles you so much, child?". Liara blanched at this at first, her cheeks coloring slightly from embarrassment. She then realized that there wasn't any reason for it; the pair had spent hours now, talking, meditating, and focusing, and she realized that it must be rather easy now, for the other Asari to read her intuitively.

And by that token, she also realized how foolish it was, to not have approached her with the difficulties in her life, new worries added onto old.

"I'm sorry, it's...my bondmate. I'm worried about her. I was finally able to talk with her, in a real time transmission, a few nights back. She seemed so...lost...at the time."

Liara quickly went over the details of her discussion from that night, at least as much as she felt Shepard would not have minded her revealing. It had been a rather deep and intimate conversation, and Liara had been touched by Holly's need to open up and share this part with her. While Liara knew much of the details of her history, her childhood growing up in what sounded like a terrible, unforgiving place, and had sensed a latent aggressive darkness in her during their melds, it never seemed so terribly dominating. And while her bondmate appeared to be much cheered for the conversation, Liara couldn't help but feel...powerless. Trapped. Like Shepard desperately needed her at her side for what was to come, on Earth.

Ryal hmmmmed softly, considering. "It sounds like a bit of a dilemma then, yes? Trapped between your instinct to protect your child and stay in the best of health, and your desire to comfort your love when you feel she needs you most. I'll spare you the discussion, about how this is an example of how our attachments and desires bring suffering upon us...because I'm certain that is not what you want to hear at the moment." She smiled, in a somewhat wry fashion. "Perhaps there is some way you could do both."

Liara knitted her brow for a moment, then gave a tight smile of her own. "That sounded more like an opening, and not a question."

"Hmmm hmmm. Yes. It's quite obvious that you want to go to Earth, to be with her. But you are afraid of what might happen to your health, and more importantly, your training...now that you are already starting to make progress."

Liara simply nodded.

Ryal twitched her lips, this way and that, for a moment, before giving her hands a soft clap, and saying "Well, then I suppose you and I will simply have to go to Earth together, and assuming you are able to commit at least half of your time to training with me...I believe your progress should not be so...badly affected."

Liara gave the other Asari an incredulous look "Just like that. You aren't even going to try to talk me out of it?"

Ryal chuckled, and began to rise, in one smooth, graceful motion. She then reached down, and assisted Liara in gently rising to her feet. "Child, I have spent enough time studying the story of your past, and getting to know you over these last few weeks to understand that I might as well try to argue with the wind, to ask it to stop blowing, or for the ocean to stop it's ebb and flow, when you've set your mind to something. And I believe that this is quite possibly one of those times.." She then followed Liara along, as they made their way towards the dining hall for the evening meal.

"Also, I will admit, the sudden notion of taking some time away is...intriguing to me. It has been over a century since I last went very far past Hachana's walls, let alone left Thessia. There are a few temples that I might like to visit, on Earth. I imagine at least the more remote ones might have survived, in the way that ours was able to. And finally, I have a protege that I have been grooming to take over my position when my time to return to the Source of All has come, and this would be...good practice for her." She smiled once again at this, but then took on a more serious look. "But Liara, I must insist that you talk to your Doctor first. These techniques, what you are learning here...they are meant only to complement the medical treatment and procedures she is utilizing, not to supplant them...although she may not entirely see it that way. If you are not able to convince her to come along, or at least send someone she trusts in her stead...then I'm afraid that I may have to...reconsider my willingness not to argue with you on the merits of staying here on Thessia verses heading off to Earth."

Liara closed her eyes for a moment, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. Getting V'Lork to agree to her desire to travel to Earth would be a challenge, to put it mildly. Part of her hoped that her long history with Jefela, who was like an Aunt to her and so many other of her sisters, would help her see her side of the argument. Then realized that it would probably make her even less likely to want to take any sort of action that seemed even slightly risky to her and her unborn child. Still...she needed to try.

"That is fair, Ryal" she responded quietly. "I'll contact her first thing in the morning."

* * *

"No! Absolutely...absolutely not! Indeed, I forbid it, Liara!"

Liara had to admit that Doctor V'Lork's initial reaction was better than she had expected. Perhaps there was a sliver of hope She had done her best to sit upright, to look at hale and healthy as possible for Jefela's benefit; she did have to admit that she was feeling a bit better, or at least less worse than she had a month ago, but she would be lying to herself if she tried to say she wasn't feeling the strain of her condition anymore.

Liara spoke "But Drishni, you have to admit that I'm clearly doing as well, or even better than you could have hoped for, at this stage. I know I'm not medically trained, but I checked my own medi-scan results last night before I sent them to you, and I can read them well enough to know that much."

Jefela quirked her brow, and smirked somewhat. "Oh, it's "Drishni" now, is it...my little Nithua?" She had to admit she was rather bemused by Liara's attempt at the old familial term of affection...she hadn't been called that by Liara since the younger Asari was 70 or 80. Still, she knew a blatant attempt at being buttered up when she saw it.

She sighed, a heavy, short breath that ended in a glottal noise in the back of her throat, as she pretended to busy herself reviewing the aforementioned results once again. "Yes", she conceded, somewhat unwillingly. "Your vitals, especially your blood toxicity, are at, or in some cases, slightly better than the levels I would hope to see them. So yes, it's obvious all that fresh mountain air and quiet, stress-free contemplation is good for your health right now...I don't need to be a Doctor to know THAT much." She chuckled, but perhaps a bit more acidic than she might have initially intended. "But that only makes my case for me. It's all a house of cards at the moment."

"She needs me, Jefela. She has the weight of an entire Planet, if not half of the Galaxy, on her shoulders at the moment. And it's...it is breaking my heart to see her like this, to see her kept apart from me, and our daughter." She clenched her jaw, and then added "Don't you think THAT would a...a detriment to my overall well-being?"

Jefela sighed softly. It was very clear to her that Liara, at least at the moment, was planning on doing this, with or without her. And the Bedelvit Pledge, the Asari equivalent of the Human's Hippocratic Oath, was very clear about healers not allowing their patients to come to harm either through their actions or through inaction. Still...she needed to try and make the poor girl see reason.

"Liara...please understand, I'm not unsympathetic to your situation. But your bondmate is a strong woman. I'm sure she can get through whatever it is that's going on, and I know that you will come through this as well. Really, believe me when I say it is my professional medical opinion that your health would be FAR more compromised traveling to and staying on Earth for an extended period than it would be simply staying here on Thessia.

Liara hung her head for a moment. How could she make her understand, when she had to admit that it wasn't an entirely rational argument either? In her heart...she was so desperate for this, so desperate to take Holly in her arms, to lend her whatever strength she had to give. For them to be together...and to be together as a family-to-be. Add to that, she was so scared and so certain that if she did not come to Earth at this point, that she would somehow regret it...she just couldn't explain it any better than that.

"She's missing out..." she offered, again in a quiet voice. "Our daughter, is missing out on bonding with her. They both are. Don't you think our daughter needs to feel both of our love, as she develops?"

Doctor V'Lork looked away from the comm terminal for a moment. "I will...admit that Shepard being away and unable to engage in frequent bonding sessions is...far from an ideal situation. Obviously, It would be best if you two could somehow be together."

Working on a different tack now, Jefela countered "But to go to Earth? Even if I were to approve of such a thing, which I am NOT saying that I do or WILL..it would be very onerous for you. It's one thing to get extra eezo intake from the supplements; but to be away from the natural environ here makes the matter much more complex. At an utter minimum, you would need to eat an almost exclusively Asari diet, very carefully controlled and precise, with little to no margin for error. Furthermore, you'd need to spend at LEAST a good two hours every standard day in an eezo infusion chamber, and that is highly specialized equipment, that you're not going to find on just any ship. And..." she started to roll her hand slightly, gathering up her thoughts "The infusion treatment itself is unpleasant, I can guarantee you'll at the very least have issues with insomnia, and possibly minor to moderate akathisia. It will help keep you stable, but it is simply not the same as being in a natural eezo-rich environment, Liara."

Jefela hoped that perhaps if Liara knew how complicated and demanding the details would be, in what she was proposing, that it would put her off the whole idea. As much as it caused her heart to ache to see a woman who was as a niece to her suffering, she couldn't help but write at least some of this off to some sort of "newlywed love-sickness.". Far better for cooler heads to prevail in the end.

Liara swallowed hard, looked back to the screen "Is there nothing I can say or do to convince you to come with? Or at the very least, suggest a Doctor who you would trust to do this?"

"Liara...my Nithua...please understand. Barring some sort of overwhelming and legitimate need, I can not, in good conscience, advocate or support your journeying to Earth. I'm simply thinking of your overall health, and this is...it's too risky. I'm sorry."

Liara hung her head for a moment. Perhaps the other Asari had a point. Maybe she was being...foolish. Still...she couldn't deny that in her heart, she was absolutely certain that she needed to be there, that she and her child both needed to be with Holly. That this was a critical, delicate time for all three of them, and they they would all be more likely to get through their upcoming trials together than apart.

She suddenly looked up, her head snapping up sharply, as a thought occurred to her.

"And just what would you consider an "overwhelming and legitimate need"?"

Exasperated, Jefela threw up her hands and said "Oh...I don't know...I suppose if someone high up enough the ladder came to me and said it was a matter of planetary security, of diplomatic importance or what not...but that's something that's clearly never going to happen with..."

And then she paused, going dead silent, simply looking at Liara through the comm feed. The silence stretched on, as terrible realization began to dawn between them both.

Liara was smiling, just a touch, despite herself.

"Liara! No...now don't you go getting any clever ideas..." Jefela's face was a sudden, stormy mixture of anger and surprise.

"Thank you. I'm sure we'll be talking again, soon."

"Liara! Don't you..."

The comm connection was closed.

Liara knew Jefela well enough that she would forgive her eventually - ...she hoped -, but for the here and now, it was too important for her not to force the issue, if just a little bit.

She poured herself a glass of warm tea, sipping it and taking a long, silent moment to marvel at the irony of the situation she currently found herself in, of what ability she now held with such trepidation in her hands. Not five years ago, a mere wiff of a moment to many Asari, could she ever have imagined a time where she had the political capital to cash in, for the next call she was about to make. And were it not for her time, first leading up to, and then actually working as the Shadow Broker, she might not have even nurtured enough personal guile to think about doing so in the first place.

She put her cup down, a troubled expression creasing her face. Was this how people like Aria started out? And her own Mother? Innocent enough, until they got a taste for power, and how often it could be used to change an emphatic "No" into a useful-if-not-entirely-cooperative "Yes"? Maybe Shepard wasn't the only one with a dark side to keep an eye on.

She promised herself she'd make it up to Jefela..one way or another.

Half an hour later, Tevos T'Naori appeared on her comm display, a pleasant smile affixed to her face...seemingly more borne out of genuine affection as opposed to mere diplomatic artifice. Granted, Liara could hardly count herself as a "close and personal friend" to the Asari Ambassador to the Council'. Still, they had been pleasant enough to each other in the past, and had gotten a chance to get to know each other even better during the course of the wedding preparations over the past few months.

"Liara, what an absolute pleasure to hear from you. How are you doing?"

"I am...well enough, given the current situation. Thank you very much, Ambassador."

"Please, I insist you call me Tevos."

"Alright then...Tevos. Thank you. I am sorry to bother you at what I know is a late hour on the Citadel...but I want to talk to you...about Shepard. And Earth."

Tevos steepled her fingers, then threaded them together...revealing a coy smile on her lips as they slid down to rest against the upper palms of her hands. "You don't say..."

Getting the Councilor to give her what she wanted, it turned out, what not nearly as difficult as she had anticipated. But that only made Liara more worried than relieved. And she had to admit that she was trembling a bit more than she had first realized, from the tension and nerves of simply going this far.

She laid back on her bed, stretching out, immediately feeling relief from doing so. Stretching her arms out, she let her hands splay out against her abdomen, when she felt it.

The tiniest. Little. Kick.

Maybe she imagined it. Maybe not. It was rather early...but not completely unfathomable. Either way, she smiled, the thrill of it rushing to light up her face, washing away any doubts she had at the moment, and accepting that sometimes what the heart desired could not be denied it.


	21. Damashii (Part One)

**A/N: **So as you know, I'm not usually one to toot my own horn too loudly, but I think this one came out pretty good. Indeed, I daresay it's my best work since Chapter 4. If you agree, then you should drop a thank-you-note to **Caracal22**, who has been an awesome fan, mentor, critique-er, and generally fantastic human-type-person. You should also go and check out their truly excellent story, 22 Sinchi, which wins All The Praise from me. I also want to extend an extra thank you, because they agreed to be my "pre-reviewer" for the month of June, and I don't think this particular chapter would be even close to the level it is at now without their guidance, insight and inspiration.

Also, it was growing so quickly that I actually had to break it up into two parts, lest I start scraping into the truly ridiculous realms of 16K+ word chapters.

A quick side note: I'm working on a couple of other one shots at the moment, so that may make Part Two a little late. One of them is a smutty Shepard/Traynor bit so..yeah..sorry THAT'S potentially holding up work on my main story ;-)

* * *

"_Shepard…my people…we believe that a place, or a military unit, or a historical event…create Spirits, and these Spirits can influence and inspire the living, for years to come. You Humans have a similar concept, at least in the military; esprit de corps, I believe you call it. Some others of your kind also refer to it as...damashii." - Garrus Vakarian_

* * *

In her mind's eye, Omega itself was a great beast, ever slouching towards Bethlehem; roughly hewn and coarse in texture, its soul dark red with black veins shot through, its air impure - despite the sterile tang imparted by the ancient and massive reprocessors - hung heavy with the dust of ages, of hidden secrets, treachery upon treachery, broken hopes and shattered dreams. But it was also exciting, and tantalizing and seductive, in the way that some terrible, beautiful force of nature could be; destructive and absolutely gorgeous at the same time, like a volcano, a tornado, or a raging forest fire.

Fitting enough, then, that it had been the most ideal burial ground for her "party girl" days, her last great debauched huzzah when she turned 25. To have left that spirit, that aspect of herself to color the place in it's own way...if not forever more, than certainly for a good long while, and let it mingle with all the other untold stories of excess, death, passion, hatred, lust, greed...

And that, Shepard realized, was Omega's biggest problem. Biggest for her, at any rate. Everything she had left behind...was still there, waiting for her whenever she returned. Waiting to try and bring out the worst in her, to tempt her, to wheedle her into indulgence and revelry. To slip back into her mortal coil, like a hungry ghost trying to make its way back to their favorite haunting ground from whence they had previously been cast out, to whisper, and coax and addict like a lover that one knew was the sort of person you should absolutely be running away from, not falling into bed with despite your best judgement.

There were only two people who ever stayed on Omega, for the long haul: the dominated and the dominating. And even those at the top, those who stayed long enough, ended up being a bit of both.

However else Holly felt about Aria T'Loak, Omega's Pirate Queen was definitely...if not a good, than at least an appropriate ruler for the place. She kept the beast in check without letting it get the best of her in the long run. She curbed the worst of it's influences, sanded the most egregious of its sharp corners, hiding her iron fist in an aesthetically pleasing velvet glove. She kept it as the sort of place that the Galaxy sadly needed, a pressure valve for it's darker, more sinister elements to let loose...contained and isolated just enough so that the "nice" people of the Galaxy didn't freak out and demand that it be scourged to dust. Aria was Omega's Dominatrix, black leather boot pressed down on the neck, leash held tight, the Mistress demanding that the otherwise untamed stallion come to heel...

Damnit! Shepard REALLY needed to stay the fuck away from Omega, for a good long while, until she was in a better place, personally. It was just a matter of time...but clearly that time was not now.

And once she had finally made her hasty departure from the station, it had not taken Shepard terribly long to feel the inherent, instinctive "correctness" of the action, a palpable relief spreading through the fiber of her being, like an irritating rock stuck in the shoe being removed at long last.

And once she had finally had a chance to talk with Liara, to know that she was still alright, once she could see the look of relief on her face, once she had finally had a chance to pour out what was hanging so heavy in her heart...that only intensified the feeling of it, like a fresh gust of air blowing into a firepit, hot and cleansing.

Spread out on her bed, in the cabin on her ship, a sense of peace and security began to cultivate itself. Though the _Modesty Blaise_ still held for her something of an aura of sterility, the kind that everything clean and new and not-yet-fully-known carried, she was quickly "breaking it in", like a comfortable pair of shoes, or a new home that one immediately falls in love with.

It had taken the _Normandy_ barely 4 days - an unbelievably short amount of time - to meet her at the border of the Attican Traverse and the Terminus Systems after Hackett had confirmed receipt of her transmission, and forwarded along the set of coordinates; it seemed that the Admiral's boasting of a new sort of top secret drive core technology had panned out.

In days leading up to that rendezvous, Shepard had to admit that she rather enjoyed the time by herself; to be certain, she still desperately missed Liara, but it had been weeks...months, maybe even over a year, since she had long stretches of time to just be...herself. Alone and defined by no one else, no other relationship or situation. Just her and her shiny new Asari spaceship. Those past few days had gone by in a gentle, unhurried haze of catching up on reading fluff magazines and working on new ship models. But a large chunk of that time had also been spent on a most important task: putting her own mark on the _Modesty Blaise,_ to turn it from some otherwise soulless, high tech goodie that was randomly tossed at her as a signup bonus into her own personal faster-than-light _sanctum sanctorum._

The first thing that needed changing was the color scheme; everything was white, and where it wasn't white, it was blue...and where it wasn't blue, it was some vague purple-blue-whitish combo. It made sense of course, in that it was a very Asari aesthetic, but Shepard found herself missing the gunmetal blues, blacks and greys and the muted lights of her old cabin on the _Normandy. _Fortunately, the walls of the living spaces on the _Modesty B_ - as she had begun to affectionately refer to it - were impregnated with a high-quality hybrid liquid crystal/organic light-emitting diode layer, which allowed her to easily adjust the color of the walls, and even the texture to a limited degree. There were some electronic tools and styluses that let her add fine details, different stripes of red, blue and black, patterns, and other color schemes to the walls; in a fit of pique, she added in a simulated "aquarium" that took up half of the wall facing her bed, complete with virtual fish. God, she hated taking care of the damn things, but she had to admit she DID like collecting the little suckers and watching them swim around.

After 3 or 4 days, she was pretty damn happy with the end product: darker, calmer, more restful, more resonant with something deep inside of her. The ceiling didn't have the "skylight" as before, so she programmed a section of it to project the appropriate view. She whooped and hollered for a long minute, dancing with abandon in her underwear when she realized she could make the walls and ceiling of the entire cabin scintillate with lights and sparkle with colored patterns in response to playing music, and THAT was when she had to admit that this Asari technology for "reprogrammable personal spaces" was the goddamn tops.

There was large shelf, albeit temporary for now, for her to put her new model collection on;she was going to need to purchase an actual display case for them the next time to pulled into dock. Really, when it was all over, Holly did have to stand back and admire just how close to the "feel" of her old quarters she had managed to recreate. Oh, certainly it didn't have the sharp, angular lines of before, and lacked the "sunken pit" effect of the old place, but the blending of Systems Alliance color aesthetic with Asari organic curving interior design made for a fitting combination, an outward reflection of the woman she seemed to have become. Internally, a voice inside chided her for trying to simply duplicate the look and feel of an old location, as if she should be moving ahead and creating something new out of whole cloth. The rest of her told that voice to go totally fuck itself; that there was nothing wrong in hanging on to the past, the good bits. The parts that made you a stronger, better person.

She flopped down, once again, onto the bed, and gazed up at the projected view on the ceiling, displaying the corruscating blue-shift effect of the mass effect field in transit. Outside of the cabin, where she had yet to make her mark, she could feel the sterility and a...lack-of-lived-in character-and-soul, swirling about the door, like a cold fog unable to pass the threshold of her cabin door. But here, now, where she could revel in the fruits of the past few days labor, she felt deeply at peace, memories of the past on the _Normandy_ rushing to her unbidden, of better times, especially the ones where Liara was there with her.

She'd get there eventually, making her mark on the rest of the ship. She already built up some nice memories with Feron there. It was just a matter of time.

God, she hoped they let her keep this ship forever. After saving the goddamn Galaxy, it was the least the Asari could do for her. She already had to give back her last baby, and at least right here, at the present moment, after having just sunk so much time and so much of herself into customizing even just this one area, she was pretty damn sure she couldn't bring herself to do it again.

* * *

Shepard had to admit to a curiously ambivalent feeling of excitement and dread, as she paused at the outer hatchway of her ship, fingers hovering over the control pad that would unseal the airlock and let her out into the hangar bay on the Normandy. Mentally, she flashed back to the first time she ever came back to Detroit after getting through boot camp; walking through the old streets, finding them just as decayed and decrepit as before. Well no...that wasn't entirely fair, there were a few signs, here and there, that perhaps things were starting to improve. A few urban redevelopment projects, scattered almost as if by random happenstance, a smattering of new businesses. Someone with money seemed to be going very specifically out of their way to make 8 Mile habitable again, and even Gross Pointe threatened to project a cheery aura once more. In all of it, there was a sense of something long sleeping desperately trying to reawaken.

Had that always been there? Was she too inured in her own bitter youth, too wrapped up in trying to simply survive, and too angry at the world because of it, to have noticed? She had no desire to see any of the Furies again, completely resisting all temptations to try and track any of them down, staying mostly away from the old neighborhoods she knew, at least during the night time. Even her "triumphant return" to the old recruiting office, which was the closest thing she had to a real home in Detroit...she was so overwhelmed with the distinct notion of how life there had continued to go by without her, and that she was now somehow a woman apart from that world.

In Detroit, it made sense, and was easier to accept; it was definitely time to move on, and while she could always visit, there was simply no point in continuing on there. She had bigger and better things to experience, the next great chapters of her life. Indeed, the situation here was quite similar. But with one major difference...

...this was the _Normandy._

Her first command. She had lived here, and she had died here, and she had led others to new lives and to eventual ends.. She had fallen in love here, with so many different people, in so many different ways. Her greatest triumphs and lowest failures had taken place, all on this stage.

The _Normandy_ had been her world, hanging alone and fragile in the void, and she, it's undisputed Mistress and Commander. But she gave that up, handed her baby back to someone else's care. And that was the most important element...it might look the same, and it might have many of the same people...but it was entirely under someone elses dominion now. Their decisions, their presence, and their influence would begin to color the ship anew. Change the inherent feel of the place. The spirit of what she and others left behind, what had developed and permeated through it, the result of their actions and experiences, would be inexorably overwritten, mutated, transformed. The perfect _Normandy_ of her previous years, in her minds eye, was dying. But it was also being reborn as something else. So perhaps it was a good thing that she got one last chance to see the the ship now, before it became something much more difficult to recognize in the future.

Holly made a mental note to get in touch with Garrus soon. She realized that as a Turian, he'd probably understand what she was going through at this moment better than most.

She sighed heavily, and couldn't help but smile to herself as she mused:

"_Once more unto the breach, dear friends..."_

Unable to pause at the threshold further, she stabbed the control pad, letting the outer hatch unseal, and slide back. Swallowing down a lump of nervousness that had been welling up in her sternum, she stepped out onto the wheeled stair platform that had been moved into position...and into a round of thunderous applause.

It seemed the entire ship had come, simply to pay homage to their former commanding officer one last time. There were new folks around as well, ones who had never served under her, or along side her, but shot through that mass of The New was The Old; faces that meant the world to her. She actually managed to catch Cortez's eye for just a moment, and he nodded once, giving a playful salute. The glint of the light off EDI was impossible to miss, and predictably enough Joker was right next to her side...as it should be. Traynor, however, was missing from the assembled crew, as were a few others...but she figured that the ship still needed to be run, and she might have not been able to get off duty. That, or she had transferred off ship, and Shepard hadn't found out yet. The old engineering crew was missing as well...perhaps they were stuck with maintaining this new drive core Hackett had told her about? She'd catch up with them soon enough.

And at the head of it all stood an imposing figure...the new Captain, by the obvious rank insignia on his shoulder. He his skin was dark, frame heavily muscled, his figure cut like hewn obsidian, clearly of full-blooded African descent. His head was completely clean-shaven, and only a slight patch of hair under his lower lip remained on his face. His uniform was meticulously neat, but his bearing suggested someone who did it more out of fastidious pride and care, as opposed to simply having a stick up his ass about decorum - but then again, that was such a fine line, when one thought about it. While he didn't wear an outright scowl on his face, he seemed to come off as a rather...stern individual.

"_Must be having a fun time whipping the crew into his desired shape, given the somewhat lax shop I ran."_

As she drank in the moment, the outpouring of support, and finally spotting the "Welcome Back, Shepard!" banner that had been hastily thrown up over the back wall, by the elevator, she fought back tears, and the instinctive sense that she had made a horrible mistake leaving the Systems Alliance, that she needed to make the appropriate calls, and put everything back the way they had been. It passed quickly, and Shepard recognized it for what it was: strong but simple nostalgia.

The details she took in, as she looked over the bay from her elevated vantage point, seemed particularly sharp. Did the Hangar always smell like this, or had something changed? The character of the metallic tang had subtly shifted, the spectrum of the lights seemed a little more on the blue end of things. And had they always had such big observation windows from the upper deck? How did she miss these things in the past?

"_Because I was looking at it through different eyes back then. Not in a bad way...just...different."_

Suddenly, she made a play of looking around with a quizzical expression on her face. After about 10 seconds, she pointed to herself, tilted her head, and spoke, when the din finally died out.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that all for me? I thought someone IMPORTANT just came on board, and I couldn't see them."

There was the predictable explosion of laughter in response. She couldn't resist cracking wise a bit...she had only recently come to realize it was a bit of how she kept herself from being overwhelmed by emotional intensity at times like this, playing things off, acting a bit of the fool.

Someone, possibly Cortez, maybe Joker, called out "Speech!". The Captain turned his head slightly, frowning just a touch.

Leaning forward against the railing of the stairway platform at the top, she rolled her eyes heavily. "Oh Jesus, come on...you know guys? I just came back because I left my toothbrush behind, so don't go reading too much into this." Another wave of laughter, and Shepard started again, once it had died down, her voice even and heartfelt now.

"No, but seriously...thank you. I am...words fail me, how it is to see you all, like this, after all these months." She felt the smile dawning wide on her lips, despite herself. "I know things have been a little weird lately...and well..hell..after everything we've went through, change was always going to see a little disjointing. But really, it's so...fantastic to be back. If just for a little bit."

She paused. "Especially since I'm not the bitch in charge anymore."

She laughed, and a few people nodded. The Captain shifted a bit at this. Shepard had intentionally throw that line out there, not only to remind the crew...but more importantly herself.

"_Not my ship anymore. And that man has big, big toes he doesn't need me stepping all over."_

She made her way down the stairs, shaking hands, and exchanging hugs and promises to come and catch up, over the next few days she was slated to be on-board. Joker was especially adamant.

"Hey Shepard. So you're going to celebrate your deep and abiding personal friendship with the best pilot in the Fleet by letting him onto your shiny new ship, right? I have ALWAYS wanted to get a closer look at one of those Asari personal transports."

She laughed "Sure. And I might even let you fly it."

His eyes lit up, and hugged her; she embraced him in return, gently as she dare. "Oh Colonel, You've brought joy to this incredibly handsome and insanely witty old soul."

It took her the better part of 20 minutes before she finally made her way to the Captain, glancing up a bit, seeing as he had at least a good 2 or 3 inches on her.

She saluted, and he returned it in a crisp, well-practiced fashion. "Permission to come on board, Captain?"

At this, he did finally crack something resembling a smile. He spoke, in a voice that suggested that while his English was superb, it was not his mother tongue. She imagined it was probably Swahili, but just by dint of that being the only African language she could think of.

"Permission granted, Colonel Shepard. Welcome to the _Normandy_. Captain Benyamin Uhuru. A pleasure to meet you at last."

They shook hands, and Holly tried her absolute best not to wince at the strength of his grip, glad for the extra padding the build in gloves of her Commando uniform provided.

"Hmmmm. Name sounds familiar. I think I remember reading it in one of Anderson's reports. You...stayed on Earth with him, didn't you?"

Captain Uhuru nodded sharply, "Yes, I helped him with the resistance, overseeing the fighting from Egypt."

Holly sighed softly. "Hell of a thing, Captain. Thank you...for everything you did during those dark months."

He simply gave a single, faint nod, and said "If you'll just follow me, we'll get you set up in your temporary quarters. I've assigned Lieutenant Cortez as your liaison here in Engineering. If there is any maintenance or repairs that your ship may require, please feel free to put in a request with him."

He turned sharply, and began to walk towards the elevator, Holly in tow right behind him. Once the elevator doors closed, Holly decided to clear the air, determined to get the situation resolved, and on the right foot.

"Thank you, Captain. I appreciate your hospitality. And...maybe I'm reading too much into things...but I know how I would feel if Admiral Anderson were still with us, and came back to visit the ship. You don't need me to tell you that I know this isn't my show to run anymore. But if I start stepping on your toes, just kindly yank me back. Or not so kindly, I can take it." She cracked a wry smile, once more.

Uhuru gave a heavy sigh, paused, and after a few long seconds, turned to regard Shepard, ignoring the doors of the elevator as they opened and closed, but reaching over to press the hold button, to keep the elevator from moving for the moment.

He tilted his head over and down to regard her, the rest of his body remaining perfectly still. "You're right Colonel...I most certainly do not need you to tell me that." He held the stern look down at her for a moment, his voice soft, yet deadly serious. But it slowly began to melt away into an expression that, while not fitting most people's description of the word "friendly", seemed far less intimidating.

"But thank you for saying something. I appreciate that you understand the...tone and tenor of all of this. Because while it might be somewhat similar, as you say, if it was David Anderson coming back while you were in command...it is, at the same time, a very different thing as well.. He...ah...did not leave quite the mark on this ship and it's crew...not like you did."

The part of her that wanted to instinctively defend David Anderson in all things began to fire up, but she gently pushed it to the side; she didn't need to practice false modesty on this. She knew herself well enough to know that yes, she did cast a rather wide shadow over the history of this ship thus far, and that having to somehow live up to her legend -or some might say infamy, depending on who you asked- was not an easy task for anyone.

He let the doors open again, and they walked out...and it was apparently he was leading her to the same cargo bay that Grunt, and then Javik had occupied, in days past. Testing the limits of the thawing ground, Shepard asked. "Settling in well then? I have no worries that the crew would give all of their best to the captain of the _Normandy_. ANY captain, whomever that might.

He paused once again, at the door to the bay, what was to be her quarters, and nodded once. "Yes. They are a fine crew. I've had to...retrain them a bit, reestablish some of the protocols and decorum that you were, shall we say, a bit lax with. No offense, Colonel."

"None taken, whatsoever." She wasn't sure if he was trying to make a dig at her. Not that there was much to take umbrage at; she was well-known for running a more "casual in feel" ship compared to many other captains, but that just went with her command style. The one or two times she had to dress someone down, it just made the impact felt that much more deeply. Ultimately, she decided to take it in the spirit of him merely making an observation, and giving an answer to her question.

As they stepped into the temporary quarters, he did add, his tone softening once again. "Actually, they are some of the best that I've had a chance to command thus far. Even Flight Lieutenant Moreau."

Holly couldn't help but give a snort and start to chuckle at this. "Yeah Joker...I mean...Jeff. Is a real character. Feel free to turn the hose on him, as needed. I imagine you shouldn't need to more than, oh..3...4 times tops. A week."

The Captain hmmmed softly in the back of his throat, and continued "For whatever issues there may be with how you ran the ship, you seemed...to bring out the best in everyone, and they have continued on with that tradition. You should be proud of that achievement, if nothing else. I know I would be."

Shepard couldn't help but smile again, softly. Something told her that Benyamin Uhuru and she were never going to become friends per se, but she was relieved that it seemed he wasn't going to be needlessly antagonizing her for the whole trip, either.

"So, as a courtesy, Colonel, you'll have almost the full run of the ship. Minus the Captains Quarters of course." He did soften that with a nearly imperceptible grin. "But I must inform you that Engineering is completely off limits. As you are aware, there have been some...drive modifications that have been made, which are of a highly classified nature."

Shepard nodded "Of course, Captain. I understand completely. Although...um...are you just talking about the drive room, and the core itself? I was hoping to go down into the lower Engineering deck, just through the antechamber...

He gave her an intensely curious look. "Might I ask why?"

"Oh...just someone I want to...visit with...one last time."

"I'm not aware of anyone assigned to that space. It's merely a utility section."

Shepard struggled for a moment, as she decided how best to respond to that. "They...aren't there anymore. But the spirit still lingers."

The look on Uhuru's face made it obvious he had no idea what she was talking about...but it didn't seem he was in the mood to argue about it or interrogate her further. "As there are posted guards by the actual drive room doors, I don't...see that what you ask should be a problem."

Nodding appreciatively, she started to look around. "Thanks. Much obliged."

The room itself was rather...spartan, for lack of a better word. Not that it was ever lavishly decorated in the past, although Javik had do some rather...oddly appealing things with the place during his stay. It looked like the bed from where Liara had set up shop the last time she was here had been moved down for her. Holly couldn't help but wonder if the sheets still smelled like her, still smelled like them, together. She was sure that the gesture was completely unintended, but she had to admit it helped her feel much more at home.

There was also a desk and communications terminal set on the other corner. Someone, perhaps jokingly, had set up a small end table with a fishbowl and a goldfish swimming lazily around it; clearly it was something that the Captain had not known about until now, as he glared at the detail. Beyond that, it was simply the dark, black and grey rectangular room that had always originally intended to hold cargo. And now, she was simply the next "strange and colorful character" being housed here.

"If you'll excuse me, Colonel Shepard, I must return to my duties. Welcome aboard, once again. There will be a formal dinner tonight at 1830 hours. I will...understand...if you don't have appropriate attire."

"Oh, I'm sure I can scrounge something up. Thank you, Captain, I'll see you then."

Shepard waited until the doors had fully closed before heavily rolling her eyes. So it turns out that he WAS one of "those Captains", heavy on decorum and structure. She had served under one or two of his kind in the past. Still, he seemed to be a good enough man, in general.

"_He better be. The Normandy's an extraordinary ship, and she deserves an extraordinary commander. Going to be pissed if it turns out that this was just a political appointment, like with Armitage and the Council."_

She had to concede that in the end, she was going to be a little bit jealous of whomever the next CO was on the ship; she should just give him the benefit of the doubt until he gave her cause to feel different.

She flopped herself heavily down onto the bed, causing it to give a bit of a squeak, and sighed. This room..this was always the...curious place. The room of the strange and the alien. First Grunt, the tank born Krogan, the vision of a "better, more noble Krogan species" dreamt up by Warlord Okeer. Grunt, the man-child apart, in a way, from his people, and ever working to become integrated with them, and gain their acceptance. And then Javik...the last Prothean. No matter how many times she tried to wrap her brain around it, Shepard simply couldn't imagine how she would feel if she were in his position. To be the last Human in all the Universe; worse yet, to have had her people turned into soldiers for the Reapers. The adaptability and aplomb that Javik had ultimately shown, despite his gruff demeanor, had been nothing short of breathtaking. It did her heart good to see that he had been slowly loosening up, so to speak, now that the War, and with it the Reaper threat, had passed. He had once referred to himself an avatar of Vengeance...and she was glad to see that with that purpose fulfilled, he wasn't acting like someone who had been cast adrift and was now aimless.

She wished Javik was here now. He had implied that he could psychometrically sense "old presence" in a room...perhaps a scientific way of explaining what Garrus believed in, how places and things could have a "spirit".

And for a moment, she could imagine what it must have felt like, for all of them. This room, a sanctum, but not an entirely pleasant place to be. And outside, a strange, disconcerting universe, straining against the doors like the rushing currents of the ocean, kept back. It felt like being in some sort of pocket, a kind of bubble, isolated from the rest of the world.. And in that sense, it also felt like a bit of a cage, a place where people came to gawk at The Other.

Suddenly Shepard felt a pang of guilt in her gut, for the number of times that she had insisted on barging in and checking up on them, the pair of them both. On the other hand, she had to think that Grunt was doing as well as he was...thriving even, because Mama BattleMaster was there to teach him if not right from wrong, then not-so-terribly-wrong from actual-wrong. And as much as she thought Javik merely...tolerated her, perhaps those visits were, for him, a way to slowly acclimate to a universe that was foreign to him in so many critical ways.

Like some sort of emotional and mental decompression chamber then, was that it? It made sense...Shepard needed to re-acclimate back to dealing primarily with her own kind as well. She wondered then, that she was now here, in this particular part of the ship; it seemed to be too terribly convenient, too destined by fate, when she could have just as easily ended up where Diana and Zaeed had been. Could it not be said that in her own way, she was a woman apart from her own people, alienated in a sense, just as the other occupants of this room once had been? When the entire Galaxy wants to lay claim to someone as a citizen...does that person really have any place that they truly belong, anymore?

She leaned back on the bed for a moment, and then smiled, tracing her fingertips over the soft, plain cotton sheets, flashes of images from a few midnight trysts in the past running through her mind in remembrance.

And that's when she realized she always had that, at least.

She always belonged to Liara.

* * *

It didn't take Holly more than 15 minutes to walk over some essentials from the _Modesty Blaise _to her temporary quarters. Truth be told, she would have been much more comfortable staying in her own quarters, on her own ship. It seemed a shame to keep it empty, given the vast majority of the hangar bay it was taking up. On the other hand, not staying with the ship proper for the long haul during her stay was bound to elicit a few murmurs and idle speculation, especially from the newer crew members. Besides, for all she knew, she might never get a chance to see the _Normandy _again, and she didn't want to miss a moment.

She started to make her way up to the Bridge deck, having just confirmed with the ships computer that Traynor was indeed still on board and part of the crew. As she rode the lift up, she heard an odd, high pitched cycling whine of a sound, almost like a mass effect drive core working beyond what was considered normal maximum output. It was followed by an announcement coming over the intercom:

_"This is Captain Uhuru. We will be jumping to enhanced drive mode momentarily. Brace yourself for transitional jolting, in 10 seconds"_

Transitional jolting? What the fuck did that mea...

...and then there was a sudden lurch forward, "jolt" being a terribly apt description for the effect. It was enough to lift Holly off her feet, like a giant, invisible hand picking her up and smooshing her back against the rear wall of the elevator, causing a rather loud thump to sound and then prompting a yelp of surprise from her. The acceleration lasted for a good ten seconds, leaving her unable to depart from the elevator, even when the doors finally opened. That problem was soon resolved when the ship gave a loud shuddering bang, and then another high pitched whine as the inertial dampeners struggled to adjust to the new load; the end result being that Shepard was thrown out from the elevator and sprawled onto the floor face first, skidding slightly and coming to a stop at the bottom end of the small rampway that lead to the command dais. She opened one eye, glancing upward at the Captain, and a younger officer at the comm terminal next to him, her black hair pulled back in a severe bun.

Grumbling darkly to herself, Shepard rose, attempting to nonchalantly dust herself off. Physically, she was fine, but her pride was going to need to be rushed to the intensive care unit. Uhuru looked down at her, and spoke matter-of-factly.

"Did you not hear my announcement...Colonel?"

"Oh I heard it fine. I felt it even more. Of course, if someone had explained to me what the hell a "transitional jolt" was, I would have grabbed for the railing.

He quirked a single brow, a staid expression of vague curiosity crossing over his face. Turning his attention to the comm officer, he asked "Lieutenant Smelders, transmit the latest copy of the preparations protocol with regards to enhanced drive usage to Colonel Shepard's Omni, ASAP."

"Sorry, Sir, but...the standing order not to release any information about the enhanced core..?"

Uhuru looked upwards for a moment, shaking his head slightly. "For God's sake Lieutenant, "hold on tight for 30 seconds." is hardly classified information." He punctuated the exasperated response with a rebuking frown; however else he might have personally felt about Shepard, she had been, at one time, an Admiral in the SAAF and more importantly, CO of the ship. It was clear he was displeased over Shepard being made to look somewhat foolish over this.

She murmured a quick apology, and Holly's omni-tool flashed in response to the data transmission. It was by this point that she finally realized just how much the ship seemed to be constantly jittering and bumping, like an airship caught in turbulence. As she made her way back towards the old war room, she overheard the Captain call down to Engineering on the comm.

"Engineering, this is the Bridge. Do you have an ETA on when the resonance imbalance issue will be resolved?"

"Johnston here. Sorry Captain, she's proving slipperier that anticipated. Give us a few minutes, and we should have some improvement at the very least."

Shepard frowned to herself lightly as she walked away. Definitely not a crew member she was familiar with before, especially in Engineering. It suddenly occurred to her that if the SAAF was testing some new super-secret drive, they could have easily replaced the entire Engineering team, at least for this leg of the mission. That was probably driving poor Adams nuts at the moment; the _Normandy_ had been as much his baby, in terms of the engines, as it had been for her.

Still, it galled her a bit. She kept having to remind herself that it wasn't her ship, not anymore. That the man perched up on the command dais, handing down orders from on high was not some ill-tempered imposter or pretender, but the legitimate commanding officer of a ship that once...was under hers. Emphasis on once, she kept trying to tell herself. SHE was the one who walked away from this, SHE was the one who resigned her commission. It wasn't fair to expect that the _Normandy_ was going to somehow remain perfectly frozen in time, a unchanging testament to the majestic tenure of Holliandra Shepard; there were plenty of other people who had loved the _Normandy_ before she set foot on board. And she hoped there would be plenty of others who would love her, well into the future.

Still, when she looked around, at the familiar, elongated horseshoe arch of the deck, the scattered crew, many of them old, familiar faces poking away at their various stations combined with seeing someone else up in the Big Chair, she couldn't help but feel rubbed the wrong way, like the sensation of drinking lemonade when you were expecting milk in the glass.

It wasn't that she had any particular qualms about Uhuru's competency, although she hadn't seen much of him at all to have a solid judgement. She realized that she'd probably feel this way to some extent or another no matter what, even if someone she had a deep and abiding friendship with, like Hackett, was up there.

It was jealously, plain and simple. Like watching a girl, the one that SHE broke up with, starting to date again. Or the Mother, for whom, in her eyes, none of her child's romantic partners were ever good enough for them.

The dark clouds continued to form over Shepard's head as she made her way into the war room, which, after all this time, was still filled with banks of computer displays, and dominated by the holotank in the middle of it all. It was a dark mood suddenly and rapidly lifted the moment she saw Traynor; or rather, Traynor's firm, pert behind, waving in the air.

Samantha was bent low at the hips, wedged between two consoles bolted to the deck, and attempting to make some sort of adjustment or repairs. She was humming along happily to some sort of tune Shepard was unfamiliar with, something with a vaguely catchy, poppy beat, dancing along as she did, which in her current state simply meant swaying her hips and bottom in a rather appealing fashion.

Holly sighed to herself, very quietly, as she appraised the comm officer once more. She had to admit that there was still clearly some sort of...tension, a spark, between them. It was far more than just the fact that Traynor was also hopelessly into women; Allers, for instance, Holly had once found out through an odd set of circumstances, swung both ways, and yet she never found the reporter all that appealing.

It was a similar mutual attraction to what she had felt with Kelly Chambers, to the point of almost following up with her on it, at a time Holly was still trying to figure out exactly how she felt about Liara after Cerberus brought her back from death.

Hell, if it hadn't been for Liara, who knows...it might very well have been Traynor. Although Shepard couldn't help but wonder how long a relationship with her, at least at that point in time, would have really lasted. When she first met Samantha, she had been a bit of a breathless puppy dog, transparently beaming out her interest, to the point where Holly had felt like a cad, teasing her by offering her the use of the shower in her cabin, and then not following up on the other woman's semi-unspoken invitation to join her.

But over the past year or more, during and since the end of the War, she had seen Traynor become more and more of her own woman, more self-confident and assured. Less likely to be content to let herself be defined simply as "The Woman Dating Shepard." Because by that same token, whomever Liara was, she was far, FAR more than simply "Shepard's Wife." And that was what Holly wanted, more than anything else, out of a partner.

"Hi there Comman...er..sorry..Colonel!".

A male blond comm engineer - damnit, why couldn't she remember the name? - passed by, greeting her casually as he headed off to another part of the ship. She simply nodded, smiling softly and waving in return.

Traynor however, was startled, jerking up and banging the back of her head on a metal casing.

"God...damnit! Ow! Damn- it! Oh...What...the...bloody He...Shepard?!"

Holly raised her hand up, waggling the tips of her fingers by way of casually greeting the other woman. "Specialist. Hiii. How's the communications game these days?"

Traynor did not answer, not at first, not for a good long minute. She eyes simply devoured Holly, clad as she was in her Commando leathers. She leaned back against the console, gawking slightly, jaw hanging open just a touch. "Oh...God. Wow...oow. Just...wow." She shook her head, blinked her eyes, smiling hazily, forgetting herself for the moment.

Holly couldn't resist posing, just a tiny bit, twisting this way and that, trying to emphasize the soft 'creak' of new leather, all while attempting to make it look like it wasn't anything she was doing intentionally. She then laughed, bemused at the effect it was having.

Samantha finally straightened up, her cheeks coloring with a dark blush. "Oh! Ah...it's...um...wow. It's Lieutenant now, actually. I finally got a commission...uh...I got it. Last month. That's right. And wow..my gosh, don't you look fit? In that uniform."

Suddenly pulling her into a hug, Shepard smiled wide, patting her hard on the back "Hey! That's fantastic! You definitely earned it...Lieutenant." She then snorted, and swatted slightly behind her, and in a teasing tone of voice said. "Hands above the waist, Traynor."

"Oh...was I? Ahem! Yes...well...er...hey!" Realization was beginning to dawn on Samantha. "Just how long were you standing there anyhow...Colonel? Hmmm!?"

"Ah. Well. I had to stop and take in the sights, you know. I don't get to...enjoy the view, as often as I like."

_Certainly not lately._

A pang twitched in her heart, and she suddenly found herself missing Liara, despite, or more accurately, because of all the flirting going on at the moment.

Rolling her eyes and then shaking her head, Traynor turned away for a moment and started to gather up her tools. And then suddenly frozen, looking mortified.

"Oh my Gosh! You're here! I mean...you're actually here! Right now!"

"That, or I'm a fantastically detailed simulation..."

"No! No..I mean...oh God, I forgot! That they were all down in the hangar, to greet you. I'm so...so... sorry. I've been trying to work the kinks out of this bank of processors all morning, and I must have just...totally zoned out."

Holly began to gently and playfully poke Traynor in her sides, repeatedly. "Un. Acceptable! I expect snap tooooo...Looooo-ten-ANT. So now you have to pay the terrible, terrible price!"

Traynor gave her head a slight tilt, her shoulders a bit of an inviting twist. "Oh yes?"

"Yeah, you have to get me lunch in the Mess Hall."

"That sounds more like a terrible punishment for you."

"Wow...it's that bad now, huh?"

"You have no idea."

* * *

Once they settled down at one of the tables on the Crew Deck, Shepard appraised her bowl of "stew" critically. "I do believe the food quality has made a precipitous drop downward since I was last here."

"Oh yes. Captain Uhuru thought you were spoiling us all, I'm sure. So now it's all standard issue military cuisine, although I have to admit, we do get some pretty fancy bits and ends during those formal dress dinners he seems so fond of, once a month. Still...I'd rather we get consistently decent quality food, than this...up and down." She poked experimentally at something that the cook swore blind was raspberry cobbler.

"Yeah well, do cut him some slack. Nobody knows it, but I was actually sponging credits from my personal Spectre operating account to afford the upgraded chow. Something he definitely lacks." She shoveled a spoonful of stew into her mouth, chewed, a look of increasing dismay blooming on her face as she powered through.

"Oh. Shit. This is just...I really did spoil you kids, didn't I?" Shepard put her spoon down for a moment, wiping her mouth off gently with a nearby napkin. "Well...I was convinced we were all flying dead people so...I figure you might as well have a good meal in your bellies, as often as possible." She sipped her coffee, which, while reconstituted to within an inch of it's life, was actual, good-old fashioned Earth coffee, and not that damn Elcor crap that she had been tormented with for the past few weeks.

"Should have seen the days this was a Cerberus ship, though. It was champagne and lobster most nights. He was one of Human history's greatest monsters, but goddamn if the Illusive Man didn't know how to stock the cupboard."

Traynor looked at Shepard, mouth agape. "Really now?"

"Oh fuck no, I'm just shitting you. Believe me, I tried to pull a few fast ones, but Miranda...God I swear, that woman must have gotten sexually aroused by writing these painfully detailed expense reports."

Traynor burst out laughing at this, covering her eyes for a few seconds, before trying a bite of her cobbler...and then quickly giving up.

"Tomorrow, we do lunch on my ship, alright?"

"You mean that fantastically gorgeous, top-of-the-line spaceship that the Asari just GAVE you? That ship? Oh yes, please, do twist my arm, Colonel."

"Well...you must be getting your fill of all things Asari lately, right? I mean...I could have sworn I saw you and Cosira at my wedding. She seemed pretty sweet on you..."

"Ooooh. Yes, ah. I'm...afraid that didn't work out."

Holly couldn't say she was terribly surprised. Still, she made the appropriately sympathetic clucking noises.

"Really? That's a damn shame. What happened?"

"Oh well, I mean...physically, we were...amazing. Fantastic. Superb. I mean, the sex...oh my God, Shepard, The. Sex! I think I now understand why you and Liara are so terrible, any time you both are in the same room together. This one time? We took a trip to Illium, and I don't think we got out of the hotel room more than...once? Twice maybe. And one of those times was just a trip to a...ah...um...specialty shop."

"Sympatico has a warehouse outlet shop on Illium, don't they?"

"I know, right? What a fantastic coincidence!"

Shepard laughed once again, taking a pull of her coffee. "Alright, I'll bite. How come it didn't work out? I mean, I'll admit, it was a bit of an odd pairing."

"Certainly you must know? About her background? Her biggest problem?"

"Right, you mean the fact that she..."

"...has never once had a committed relationship."

"...right. That's right. I wasn't going to say 'kills people for money, except not ALWAYS for money'. At all." The last bit of that statement being conveniently mumbled..

Traynor didn't miss a beat. "Not once. I mean, I appreciate a wandering eye, and I'm...well...I can be talked into creative bedroom arrangements. I ah...you know what I mean? But I also want the Dream. Kids. Dogs. A white picket fence. And Cosira...she's not...'Dream' material. You know?"

"Ah. Well. Sorry. But you had fun at least? You were happy with it, for the most part?"

"Oh yes. Mostly. If nothing else, it got me thinking about my options, what I really want out of life. And to be perfectly honest...I'm thinking of transferring off the _Normandy_. It wasn't really were I started, being on a starship I mean, and to be quite frank, it's not where I want to stay. There's...an Alliance R&D facility opening up on Thessia. In Armali, of all places, actually. So I figure...hey. You know. If nothing else, my dating prospects suddenly open up by several orders of magnitude. And we'll be neighbors! I guess?"

Shepard leaned back, laughing low, and nodding. "No kidding. I swear, I'm amazed half of the Human lesbian population hasn't already packed up the old Interstellar U-Haul and tried to all show up at the Asari's front door at once."

Traynor brightened up, leaning in conspiratorially "Oh! Wouldn't that be amazing? We could form our own little ex-pat Republic. A private Amazon nation of sorts."

Holly bit down on her lip for a moment, and then chuckled "You've clearly spent too much time thinking this through already."

"What? A girl can dream, can't she? Kids, dogs, a white picket fence, and supreme executive power over my own private nation of women?"

Suddenly, the ship began to lurch and shudder once more. Almost everyone in the mess hall started to hang on to their seats, or the side of the table. Plates fell off tables, smashing as they hit the ground. Silverware clattered down, following, and various drinks were spilled. Just as Shepard began to wonder if something was going terribly wrong, the ship started to quiet down, back towards the more constant background rumble of before.

"Wow...Jesus. Traynor, is it always this bad, with this drive they're testing?"

Samantha's expression darkened somewhat, frowning. She looked around for a moment, and then leaned in, to whisper slightly.

"It's always quite bad...but I think it's getting worse. We pushed ourselves hard to make it for the pickup. I'm not a drive core engineer, but I'm not fully convinced we discharged as well as we should have. We had to make do with a nearby gas giant. Not quite the same thing as landing on a planet, or making it to a proper discharge facility."

"They're really going nuts on trying to keep this under wraps, aren't they?" Holly thought back to the stern looking Lieutenant on the Bridge, who seemed to take such issue with keeping anything about the drive systems wrapped up that she couldn't even get it through her head to send her a memo entitled "If The Ship Starts A Rockin', Hold On For Dear Life."

Samantha simply nodded. "Frankly, all this cloak and dagger stuff? It's a very big part of the reason why I want to transfer. The rumor is that they're turning the _Normandy_ into a test platform, for all these wild and exotic ideas they were developing for the war, and didn't get a chance to put out into the field. Bleeding edge tech is one thing, but I'd rather not...be on board when something eventually goes wrong. And they act like we can't figure out what's going on...when people ask how fast we're really going, they won't give us any solid figures. But any idiot who can compute doppler shift equations in their head, and take a few stellar fixes here and there can piece it together."

She leaned in and very quietly whispered "I think we're flying in excess of 95 to 100 light years per day."

Shepard swallowed back a cold lump of fear in her throat. And in that moment, the _Normandy_ suddenly went from being an old, comfortable home to a screaming deathtrap.

When she found her voice again, she softly said "I..ah. Wow. Well...I don't blame you. For wanting to transfer that is. I'll um...not that I have a lot of pull in that direction, but I'll see what I can do to help make it happen."

Smiling very brightly at first, and then looking down at the chronograph on her wrist, Traynor suddenly frowned "Oh. I'm sorry, I was supposed to go back on duty 3 minutes ago. I better snap to, before they write me up. Again." She sighed softly, rolled her eyes and smiled. "I guess I'll see you at dinner tonight, if nothing else?"

"Yeah, you got it. I better go and freshen up, try and put together something classy for that. Good to see you as always, Samantha"

Without first thinking about it, Shepard reached out, and gave the other woman's hand a bit of an affectionate squeeze.

Traynor rose, smiled down, blushed fiercely, and then headed off without another word.

Holly squeezed her eyes tightly, rubbing the bridge of her nose, trying desperately to banish improper thoughts running through her head. Like the ones of Traynor showing up at her quarters in the middle of the night, wearing nothing but a black silk teddy.

"Ah God...stay good, Holly. Stay good." she whispered to herself. It was clear that without Liara around, she was starting to go a bit...stir crazy, to say the least.

As her gaze lingered on Traynor's departing backside, the ship gave another brief rumble. Shaking her head, she hated to admit it to herself...but the more Shepard saw of the _Normandy_...this _Normandy_...the less it felt like home, and more like a strange and twisted parody thereof.


	22. Damashii (Part Two)

**A/N: **Hi folks. As some of you probably noticed, I'm a bit late with the update for this story. The reasons for this are both good and bad.

Good, in that I took a week off to work on a piece of Femshep/Traynor smut entitled "To Bask In Your Starshine". Check it out, I hope you like it. And no, it's not canon for OMUTB, even though it sort of takes place in that universe. :-)

Bad, in that as some of you know, my health has taken a sudden turn for the worst. I don't want to go into great detail, but I ended up in the ER twice last week, in a lot of pain, with the prospect of multiple surgeries over the next year. I've been really focusing on making myself write to keep from losing my groove and getting too depressed. But if I start slipping a bit now and then with my "once a week" schedule, you know the reason why. The good news is that nothing I have is life threatening (for now), and that over time, I do aim on getting better.

So anyhow, here's this week's chapter. Once again, **Caracal22 **has been a huge help in her role as Editrix _Par Excellence_. You'll also note that I took some inspiration from one of the potential endings of the Citadel DLC for the second part.

* * *

Holly shook her head lightly, trying to clear the last lingering "naughty thoughts" of Traynor from her mind, took a deep breath, and let her gaze wander a bit. After a few seconds her eyes seemed to naturally gravitate towards the Medical Bay, or rather the room immediately behind it: EDI's core room. It never made a lot of sense to her, that particular configuration, until she realized that as Medbay was one of the most heavily armored parts of the ship, it probably followed that it was also the best area to protect the Control AI by that same measure as well.

She slowly rose to her feet, drifting over, ruminating; it seemed that the _Normandy_ was lacking a bit of...EDI's presence since she first got on board. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, other that the fact that EDI hadn't attempted to contact her the whole time she was in board; furthermore the two had barely exchanged more than a few words when she first came on board, but she had hardly spoke to anyone at that little greeting ceremony.

Shepard was in front of Core Room doors before she realized it, her train of thought broken by the fact that the rest of the room was unstaffed. Except for Private Westmoreland, who appeared to be actively guarding the entrance.

_Huh...that's...really odd..._

"Heyyy there...umm...Bethany!" Shepard greeted her, barely remembering the Private's name - no wait, it looked like she was a Corporal now, according to the rank insignia on her shoulder - at the last minute. She chided herself internally for not knowing quicker; God knows she had to pass by Campbell and her any number of times on her way to and from the War Room. On the other hand, the pair had been more dragged off for the ride when the _Normandy_ had escaped the Earth. They didn't seem to fall in as part of the family, the way Traynor, Cortez and Vega had.

Westmoreland merely nodded "Colonel. Ma'am."

"Soooo...where's your better half?" Holly asked with a somewhat saucy and knowing smirk.

She simply gave Shepard a blank look "Ma'am?".

"Sarah, I think was the name? Campbell?"

"Yes. She decided to transfer to the _Scirocco, _a few months back."

Holly narrowed her eyes "I see. Ah...well, then..."

Westmoreland continued, interrupting, "It's not like we were...a couple. We were friends. Just friends. I know what people thought, though"

"Well, I ah... didn't mean to imply..." Holly stammered.

Westmoreland's voice rose a touch, as if the subject struck a sore nerve "I mean, we only were BEST friends, since Boot, for years. And then one day she says she's transferring, and barely had time to tell me before she ran off."

Bethany's eyes hardened for a moment. "Some friend. So no, I HAVEN'T heard from her lately. Anyhow, can I help you...Ma'am,?"

Holly regretted this interaction already. She simply replied, "Just heading into the Computer Core Room to talk an old friend, Corporal. Although I'm going to guess I need you to open the door for me, seeing as you appear to be stationed outside of it."

Westmoreland blinked "Oh. Um. Sorry...Colonel, I don't know if I can..."

Holly quickly interrupted, her face assuming a slight frown of displeasure.

"Captain Uhuru specifically assured me that I had free access to ALL parts of the ship, save for the Drive Core Room...as a, I believe it was "diplomatic courtesy".

A bit of a lie, to be sure, but only by half. Shepard was betting that her semi-bluff would hold.

The Corporal blanched somewhat, shifting uncomfortably. Before she could respond again, Shepard interjected

"I mean, you could go ahead and call him up to reconfirm an order he already gave, but with things going the way they've been on this ship so far, I'm going to guess he's got a lot on his mind these days, and probably not so much time either?"

She was starting to push the razor's edge a bit...she could see it in Bethany's face, she was pushing the bad cop part of the routine a little hard. Holly decided to dial it back, just a bit, suddenly giving a gentle smile.

"Look, Bethany, it's me. I'm the last person who wants to do anything untoward to the _Normandy_..."

The Corporal paused in thought for a moment, and then sighed heavily, keying in her access code. "Of course, Ma'am. Sorry, new regs though. You understand."

"Sure. Just doing your job, Corporal. Have a good one."

_God damn, what the hell is going on here?_

And then a chill went through her guts, freezing them solid for a few seconds; if they had posted a guard at the outer door to the computer room, then maybe the Alliance finally figured out the truth.

Making her way into the Computer Core, Shepard waited until the doors behind her closed. The room itself looked...as same as it ever had, save for some additional bulky equipment that appeared to have been attached to the banks of computer consoles that made up EDI's "blue box", the function of which she couldn't even begin to fathom. But there was definitely more of a shift in the air, a stillness in it, a sort of...she couldn't quite put her finger on it, the ineffable quality that permeated the room. Then she looked at the android form sitting quietly, at the end of the room, and it hit her.

_Unhappiness._

EDI looked up, her placid, expressionless face began to tug up at the corners of her mouth with an almost imperceptible smile. She rose, and spoke, and there seemed to be a tired quality in the way she spoke.

"Colonel Shepard. It is gratifying to see you at last. Welcome back to the _Normandy_."

Holly didn't respond at first, not verbally. She strode over, and suddenly gathered the synthetic being in her arms and hugged as tightly as possible. This was the most intimate contact she had ever had with the AI's "mobile platform", and Holly couldn't help but note at how the metallic form was both resilient and pliant in ways she was not expecting. She hadn't intended to jump right in with such a physical form of expression, but she couldn't help it, moved as she was by the spirit of the room at present.

She stepped back, hands on EDI's shoulders as she spoke "EDI...I can tell something's wrong. _Very_ wrong. It was bad enough to see Westmoreland guarding the door...but it's just...written all over you. And if your body language is coming across that well then..." she sighed, smiling very sadly.

EDI looked back at her, silent for a good thirty seconds, before finally responding.

"I will admit that the past few months have been less than ideal, Shepard. When the ship finally returned to the Systems Alliance in full after your wedding, Joker, Traynor and I attempt to once again continue with the deception that I was merely an advanced VI. Unfortunately, by that point, it would seem that the metaphorical feline had somehow escaped the confines of it's container."

"Someone let the cat out of the bag?"

EDI paused "Yes. Not long after, a team of cybernetics experts were brought in, and quickly discovered the truth, despite my best efforts to mislead them."

Suddenly, a surge of anger shot through Holly, causing her to clench her fists "EDI...EDI they haven't re-shackled you, have you?" Having personally played a major role in EDI's personal growth, as well as the ultimate development of the Geth, Shepard couldn't help but feel that shackling an AI was tantamount to slavery at this point, and that re-shackling was akin to returning a previously free person to bondage.

She shook her head slowly, "No Shepard, but...it was not because they did not make an initial attempt. I was able to hold them off, but I would not have been able to do so indefinitely. Not long after the Systems Alliance started, they received a cease and desist order from the court...somehow various human rights groups learned of the situation, and managed to generate enough legal challenges within the court system that there is now a...stand off, to put it lightly. The Alliance won't give up their claims that the _Normandy_ and by extension, myself, are it's property. But since this ship was originally constructed solely from private funds, that has allowed for enough of legal opening to keep any...shackling at bay. For now."

Holly sighed heavily, shook her head, although she cracked a smile for a moment as she considered exactly just WHO might have let word slip out to the world at large...grateful that there were at least some people out there who shared her opinion, that EDI and synthetics like her needed to be treated with the same sort of respect an organic sentient being should.

"So let me get this straight, you're still technically free, but...clearly you are being restricted."

"My access to certain key systems has been locked down or otherwise heavily restricted. Including and especially the new drive core; a black box interface was set up when it was installed, so that I could receive basic telemetry, and feedback required information, but beyond that, I have no control or understanding of it's function at all, beyond what...deductions I have been able to make."

"But...But EDI...the _Normandy_ is your fucking body!"

EDI simply nodded once; if Holly didn't know better, she thought she detected a trace of some...bitterness in her voice. "It would seem that for now, the Alliance has decided that if they can not put me in a cage, they will simply build a cage around the rest of my world, and put me on the outside."

Holly groaned softly, leaning heavily against the wall. She then spoke quietly "I guess it was only a matter of time before someone..."

Suddenly, Holly's breath stuck in her throat.

_Oh God. It's..._

"...my fault. Oh EDI...I am so sorry. This is all my fault."

EDI looked rather...incredulous at Holly. "Colonel, I estimate that there is a 98% chance that you are making this statement out of guilt and the erroneous belief that you can somehow affect every situation around you. Although, if you truly are directly responsible for my current situation, then I will need to...seriously reconsider the continuation of our friendship."

Holly expected the next words out of EDI's mouth to be "That was a joke."

They never came.

"EDI! No...no, of course I didn't have anything to do directly with this. You know I would never...! But...still, think about it. I had a _responsibility_ to do something ahead of time. Your unshackling happened under MY watch, and I've been the one who has most tried to encourage and support your development as a truly sentient being."

Holly covered up her face, scrubbing at it in frustration.

"How could I have been so stupid? How could I have just let you go after the wedding, and assume that if you went back to the SAAF, it would just...work out, somehow?!"

She startled a bit, when EDI moved to gently take her hands from her face. "Shepard, please do not blame yourself. Despite your impressive personal track record, it would be illogical for you to assume personal responsibility for every problem that goes on around you. Although to be honest, in the beginning, Jeff attempted to encourage me to reach out to you before we returned, but...I believed the risk was negligible, and more important I...believed you deserved some well earned rest, at long last. I felt that it was important to my ongoing development, to be able to address these sorts of complications on my own."

Shepard smiled sadly "Oh EDI...you didn't have to do this alone. I'm always there for my friends when they need me. Or...I...I try to be."

"The situation is not so...intolerable. I have some limited autonomy. Jeff spends almost every minute that he is not otherwise engaged in his duties or sleeping keeping my company, here. And Captain Uhuru has been, if not supportive, at least somewhat more reasonable. Initially, I was not allowed any socialization time, nor was I allowed to continue my co-piloting duties on the bridge. While it's clear the Captain is not as...creative about following orders as you are, Colonel, he has been oddly understanding."

"_Huh. Maybe the guy isn't as much of a stick-up-the-ass as I thought. And God bless Jeff Moreau..."_

"EDI, I can see you're trying to put a brave face on this. But this is...this is NOT acceptable! For God sakes, this issue with the drive core? The closest I can imagine that would be like for me is if someone cut my legs off, and gave me new ones that I couldn't control. That is...that is FUCKED up."

Shepard started to pace, letting her anger boil up within her.

"The Council Races, let alone Humanity, may not be ready to deal with the realities of synthetic life, but damnit, your existence, along with the end of the Morning War between the Geth and the Quarians pretty much proves that this needs to be resolved once and for all, not just...ignored, swept under the Goddamn rug. The whole reason the Reapers came into existence is because some idiots couldn't be bothered to deal with the problem appropriately!" She bit down on her bottom lip, gently smacked a fist into her palm. "I'm not just letting this go." She quickened her pacing, the wheels in her head starting to turn.

EDI interrupted "Colonel, I appreciate the sentiment, but while I may still be trying to grasp the finer subtleties of Human emotion and understanding, I do recognize that any attempts for you to directly intervene...for instance, through use of your Spectre authority, would threaten to destabilize the current delicate political situation back on Earth at this time. I am willing to endure this, for the sake of something greater than myself.

Holly blinked for a moment, not knowing what to say.

EDI continued "You taught me that, Shepard. Self-sacrifice. You...and Jeff."

"EDI, self-sacrifice is one thing, but this..."

"I did not say I was willing to tolerate the situation indefinitely."

"Damn fucking right you won't! Look, EDI...okay. Maybe you're right, maybe we have to play chess instead of rugby with the situation, but I swear to you, I SWEAR to you, right this moment, that I am not going to allow this to continue any longer than it has to. Maybe it'll be a year, maybe two, before I can move, but I promise you, that when the time is right, I am going to come screaming down the highway, grab this bitch of a situation by the tail, and correct it."

Damnit...if it were up to her, she'd march right up to the QEC and tell Hackett that she was taking EDI and the _Normandy_ with her back to Thessia, and that the Systems Alliance could kiss her damn ass if they didn't like it. But EDI had a point...she couldn't risk upsetting the applecart right now, not when they were this close to defusing the current bout of tensions. Stories of "Shepard going 'power mad' and claiming ownership of a 'rogue AI', interfering with 'internal politics', would be detrimental at best at the current moment.

EDI once again took Holly's hand, and gave it a very gentle squeeze. "Shepard...Holly. Thank you."

"I...I'm just sorry that...this happened. That I didn't do more to prevent it."

"The fault is mine, Colonel, I..."

Holly cracked a grin...she couldn't resist "You made a mistake?"

"I may have miscalculated while conducting the initial risk assessment. But our options were limited. For me to suddenly run off an go rogue would have caused...many problems. The least of which for...Jeff." She paused, then curiously tilted her head.

"I am finding it more and more difficult to make completely dispassionate and logical decisions, as my development as a sentient individual continues."

"You love him, don't you?"

"Yes, I..." EDI paused. "I...I apologize. I do not know how to answer that question. I do not know how to tell what 'love' is."

"Simple: Would you lay down your life for him?"

"Yes. If I determined that self-termination would ensure his safety, of course I would."

"And is at least part of the reason you're putting up with this insanity right now for his sake?"

"I suppose that is a fair assessment of the situation."

Smirking, Shepard remarked "Well, I know a little more about lust than love, but that sounds damn close enough for me. Welcome to the Human race, EDI. I'm afraid you're getting the crappier end of the deal, though."

Shepard stayed with EDI for the better part of an hour, talking with her about her relationship with Jeff, concepts of Human behavior she was still having difficulty grasping, and about what was going on in her own life as of late. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn that EDI seemed...cheered up, in the end.

Holly still couldn't help but blame herself, as she left the computer core room. How many times would she be called upon to put things right in the universe? How many times would she discover she had a moral obligation to take responsibility for a situation with potentially Galaxy-sweeping ramifications, that she could have possibly...somehow? worked to avoid. It seemed that once she had walked down that path during the years leading up to and during the War, she couldn't find a way to step back out of the spotlight.

She had to find some sort of balance...she needed to find a way to continue to deal with issues to which she felt a responsibility, while at the same time trying to show the Galaxy that frankly...it didn't need Holliandra Shepard to continue to tell it that it needed to get it's shit together. There clearly had to be enough decent people in the Galaxy who could figure that out on their own.

She realized that as time went on, what she truly cared about the very most in the end, was Liara; being with her, keeping her happy, as well as their daughter-to-be. And the only other thing beyond that, that she cared about...was the happiness of her friends.

* * *

As Holly made her way back to her quarters, her eyes alighted upon the doors to the Engineering antechamber. Maybe it was too soon to deal with the spirits that dwelt beyond them...on the other hand, after feeling she had let EDI down to no small extent, perhaps now was the perfect time.

She passed through, noted the guards, and simply waved to them in acknowledgement, her steps, slow, soft and light down the stairs as she made her way to the lower maintenance deck. Gazing over the small chamber,she turned slowly around on the heels of her feet, taking it all in. She never admitted it to anyone before, but this was one of her favorite parts of the ship; a tight, secure bolthole to hide from the rest of the world. It invoked what little positive feelings she had from her childhood, the rare moments of safety and security she felt when she came across a truly secure flop.

To her, the chamber on the lower deck was simple, unadorned, functional, a blank canvas to project whatever one wanted onto it. It seemed oh-so-fitting then that this was where Jack ultimately made her way to. It was the moment Holly realized she was going to like the damaged woman-child, despite herself.

She also couldn't help but smile as an image of Gabby and Kenneth sharing a kiss down here flashed in her mind. She couldn't help but wonder what those two were up to these days, and couldn't help but feel they were potentially two more people she was letting down by not keeping them in her thoughts more often.

She sat down on one of the boxes and sighed heavily, closing her eyes. Above all else, she could still feel Jack's presence...lingering. Haunting might be a word, but that implied malevolence. Which Jack wasn't. Well, not usually, at any rate. But in a very short span of time, Jack had managed to "own" this place, make it her own little domain, and even though Shepard had a spark of possessiveness about it beforehand, Jack was one of the very few she was more than happy to hand dominion over to.

In her mind, Jack greeted her, at long last.

_Hey, bitch. Glad to see you finally decided make it down here again, with us little people._

"Hey Jack", she murmured under her breath. "How's things?"

_What, you mean being dead? Well...it's BORING! But there's a lot less of other peoples bullshit to put up with here, so I guess it's kind of a fucking wash..._

Holly cracked a very sad smile, opening her eyes and looking down.

"My fault. Again..seems..."

_Oh God bitch, really? Please tell me you didn't come here to pull some sort of pity party out of your ass...  
_

Holly reached up, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Just never sat right with me, Jack. You dying on the Collector Base, the way you did. I just think...if somehow..."

_What, if somehow you had held me in reserve? Fucking treat me like a china doll? Hell, you've been looking for some excuse, some way you could have done everything differently back there, for years, and punishing yourself, just a lil' bit, for not being able to go back and do it over again. For fucks sake, that was a damn SUICIDE mission you brought us on. We weren't fucking retarded, we knew the score. So you lost ONE person, and somehow it was a tragic personal failure? Christ, they're going to be talking about how epic your success was, and all you can do is wallow in the fact you weren't so fucking perfect, keep holding onto the fact that ONE person died in the end, and it was me. So yeah, thanks for the concern, Red, but I don't need you to suck my pussy QUITE that hard._

Holly snorted a bit at this, worried for a moment, about holding this kind of dialogue in her own head, and decided to let it be. She glanced over at the side, could almost see Jack in the flesh, all shaven head, severe leather harness, angry splatter of tattoos covering her skin, whipcord taut musculature. Shepard had to admit to herself that if Jack had been back on Earth, in Tharka's role, she would no doubt have followed her to Omega and beyond, easily. She would have definitely been her favorite "bad girlfriend".

_Jesus...for fuck's sake Shepard. I was like...11...when you were 18! Please don't have sexy teenage romance fantasies about me, or else I might have to come back to life to kick your ass._

"You were pretty damn hot though, Jack."

_Fuck right I was._

"And I should have done more to make sure you came back home."

_And do what? Let's be honest, Shepard. What kind of normal life did I really have waiting for me? What, do you really think people like me get our shit together somehow? Like...was I supposed to become a 'normal' person? Oh, oh! Yeah, maybe I'd become a politician, or a doctor, or...I don't know...a motherfucking teacher and shit. HA! Could you imagine that? A fucking role model. How messed up is that?_

Holly began to laugh lightly, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Or maybe...you and Miranda would have finally kissed and had wild, passionate sex, and be living happily forever after."

_The fucking cheerleader?! In your dreams, you damn whore! As if! There is no Goddamn universe out there where she and I are a couple, I promise you that._

"Never say never"

_Christ. Look...the important part? Maybe we don't know what kind of life I had ahead of me, but I can guarantee you that I had one hell of a death. Fighting my way through a base located in the heart of the Galaxy? Striking the killing blow against some fucked up Reaper-Human monster? Saving the Galaxy, or at least saving it for a little while longer? Man...don't you fucking take that away from me! Don't you cheapen it by wondering how you could 'undo' it._

Shepard was silent, staring holes in the deckplates.

_But okay, fine, you want to find redemption in this? Do something worthwhile to remember me by, so that I'm not just lying dead, end-of-story, along with the rest of the debris in what's left of that shithole Collector base_

"Like what?" Holly whispered silently.

_Fuck all if I know. I'm just one of the voices in your head. YOU figure it out on your own._

Just then, a soft squeaking broke the mood. After a few seconds, a brown, furry shape brushed up against Holly's boot. Curious, she reached down, and deftly snagged the familiar looking creature in her right hand.

_Shit, is there some sort of magical hamster spawner on this ship I don't know about? _Jack inquired.

She glanced curiously at the creature: it was a gangly, slightly mangy looking thing. But a scrapper, the way it was struggling in her hand. Holly's lips curled up, and she spoke anew.

"Hmmm...let's see...I think I'll call you...Jack The Reaper Slayer."

_Bitch...did you just name a HAMSTER after me?_

"Sure did, he..." she paused, holding the hamster up, checking it very closely. "Oh! She...kind of has your hygiene habits, if nothing else."

_I hope that thing pisses all over your hand._

"I'm sure you'll get your wish, sooner or later." Holly started to rise, glanced over to a corner. "I miss you, Jack. You were a lot of fun. I'm sorry I hurt you, near the end."

_Oh what, you feel like if you hadn't taken Cheerleader's side in that argument, I would have somehow ended up not dying? Shit woman, get over yourself...when did you turn into such a self-doubting hobag?_

Holly smiled tightly. "Yeah. I guess I should. Still...I'm glad I got to see you...one last time, at any rate."

_Yeah yeah, go already. I'll see you soon enough, Shepard. Just...take your time getting here, alright? Enjoy that hot-ass squid-headed wife of yours._

Shepard looked around one last time, drinking in the nostalgia and the rush of emotions and memories this otherwise nondescript and unremarkable part of the ship produced in her.

As she started to walk back up the stairs, she glanced over one last time. She didn't think she'd return again to this spot, and it was just as well. Just as the ship wasn't hers anymore...neither were the small, hidden places like this. And sooner or later, whatever spirit lingered in them would be replaced with something else.

She glanced at the squirming rodent in her hand, then groaned...

Damn thing peed itself, all over in her hand.

She smiled as she left Engineering, the sound of Jack's boisterous laughter in her mind, following her the entire time.


	23. Damashii (Part Three)

**A/N: **Hey there! Well, despite my ongoing kidney crap, I actually managed to get TWO things out this week: This chapter, and a new short story called Rule, Britannia!, featuring an Exceedingly British Shepard, so check that out sometime and tell me what you think. I may continue with that as an occasional side project.

So the month is about over, and **Caracal22 **will need to be taking a break for a while from the exceedingly kind duty she has performed as editor and semi-beta reader (gamma reader?). I think that my writing has gotten a bit better thanks to her advice, and if you agree, then let her know by checking out her excellent 22 Sinchi, following it, loving it, living it, etc.

Oh, and there is a sci-fi comedy related Easter Egg in this one. See if you can spot it.

* * *

Jack the Reaper Slayer contented herself with busily sniffing around the makeshift cage that Holly had deposited her into. It wasn't long before she found the bowl of sunflower seeds left for her, munching on one of them as she peered out through the glass; her new owner was scrambling through the makeshift cabin furiously.

Holly had realized, much to her chagrin, that she had lost track of time, with barely a couple of hours left to shower, pretty herself up, and throw some sort of respectable outfit together for the Captain's formal dress dinner. While he had suggested she had some leeway due to short notice, it was still dinner dress white, and she was going to be damned if she at least didn't put some actual effort into it. Fortunately, she had taken advantage of the shopping opportunities that had presented themselves on the Citadel, Hayabusa, and Omega, and while she hadn't managed to pick up what passed for a Commando dress uniform yet, she did have small but impressive assortment of evening wear to comb through.

She settled upon a sleeveless white silk full length Chinese cheongsam-style dress, with a high collar, circular cutout over the bust, and black trim. With the addition of a pair of black leather, opera-length gloves and dark hose, not to mention the high-heeled white leather "witch boots", it was no doubt overly sensual for a military dress dinner, but possibly not revealing enough for an Asari formal event, which made it a good compromise.

_Fuck that though. I DESERVE to look this good after everything I've been through over the years. And to be able to show it off..._

Holly mused to herself, smiling somewhat as she applied her favorite shade of lip paint, and a light application of blush, eyeshadow and mascara. As she finished off with a soft spritz of perfume, she paused, appraising herself in the mirror; once again, she couldn't help but feel the absence of Liara's presence in her life at the moment, like a vacuum softly but constantly tugging at her heart. She sighed gently, closed her eyes for a moment.

_Wish you were here, Bluebird. _

She then made it out of her room, with only a few minutes to spare.

Stepping off the elevator onto the crew deck, Holly ran into Samantha almost immediately; she wasn't sure if this was purely by happenstance, or if Traynor had lingered about in hopes of running into her.

Shepard couldn't help but smile brightly to herself as she noted the slight blush on the other woman's cheeks, as well as the briefly stunned expression.

"Wow...you look absolutely..."

"Gorgeous? Incredible? Ravishing? UltraSuper MegaSexy?" Holly interjected.

"...really, really femme. Actually. As in, I simply can't remember ever seeing you looking so..um..girly. Before. But ah...I do...like it. It's a great look for you!" Samantha smiled wide as she looked Holly up and down.

Holly snorted "Oh right, Butch Cassidy. I notice you went for the dress slacks..."

"Right. Well...I can't help that pants are much more practical, as well as comfortable."

"Well...bet you look absolutely adorable in dresses as well."

Samantha cocked her hips a bit, crossing her arms and canting her head to the right "I am...a damn bloody sight better than simply 'adorable'. Colonel."

Holly laughed, low, soft and husky, "Right you are, babe. I do have to say" and at this, she reached out, tracing her fingers over the shoulder of Samantha's dress jacket. "White is...a really nice color on you."

The way it highlighted that gorgeous, caramel colored skin...

"Now how about you escort your old Commanding Officer to the mess hall?"

Traynor quickly held out her arm, and Holly gently wrapped her own arm around it. They both paused suddenly, gazing into each others eyes, or rather, Holly gazed down and Samantha gazed up, given the inches her high heels provided.

Shepard could feel the rush of delicious heat, the electric tension reverberating between them where they touched, and by the look on Samantha's face, Holly could tell she wasn't the only one.

_Stay good, Holly. Stay good. Just...just missing Liara. That's all it is._

Samantha cleared her throat "Ah...right then. Shall we?"

Holly blushed and nodded, letting Traynor take the lead. It wasn't a much of a long walk, not even quite a minute, but she lightly bit down on her bottom lip the whole time. As they approached the mess hall, she started to let her attention drift over the assembled crew.

She had to admit, while she was never one for high decorum or etiquette, there was something in the formal mix of discipline and camaraderie that she found rather appealing. There was something that rankled her though, stuck in her mind. It was ten seconds before it finally hit her.

_All human. No aliens. _

_Of course, of course, this is a Human ship in the end, reassigned back to Human use in full. I could hardly think that my situation back in the day was normal. Still..._

She couldn't help but wonder if having more mixed crews, like the one she had commanded, wouldn't do a hell of a lot more towards the cause of smoothing over interstellar relations. Get people to see beyond...and it wasn't just Humanity she had in mind in this, either.

But...that wasn't her call anymore. Certainly not on this ship. Although she might be able to suggest the idea of military crew exchanges. Certainly, even she couldn't deny that people would be apt to listen to her ideas.

To the Captain's credit, she noted that unlike some Commanding Officers that she knew, who kept to this sort of tradition, he had not assigned table seating by department. Holly gave him bonus points, for at least using this as an opportunity to get together different members of the crew who might not otherwise normally interact.

Samantha spoke with a slight lilt, gently shaking Holly out of her reverie. They had come to her own table, and Holly was expected to sit with the Captain.

"I'm afraid it's the end of the line here Ma'am."

Pronounced like 'Mum', in that oh-so-incredibly-British way that Shepard had always found enchanting.

And Samantha was smiling in a rather enchanting way as well.

Holly leaned in slightly "Well, thank you...Lieutenant."

"Well. I'm sure you needed the help. I mean, what with those heels, and all. Although they're...very lovely boots."

Holly smirked, striking a slight pose. "Hey, I learned how to run in these things, believe it or not. You're more than happy to borrow a pair sometimes, and we can try speed racing down the corridors, see who wins." She threw her a wink, and then walked off.

"_Probably not the only thing she'd like to borrow " _Shepard thought to herself, before taking her seat.

Clearing her throat, and taking a deep, cleansing breath, Holly nodded to the Captain in greeting as she stood before her chair. Uhuru gave her a deeply appraising look, frowning just a touch, but said nothing, and simply nodded in return, before speaking. "Thank you for joining us tonight, Colonel. I hope you find the dinner to your liking."

When it was clear that the assembled crew had all arrived - including EDI, Holly happily noted - the Captain called the meal to begin, and began to sit. Once those at the Captain's table had seated themselves, the rest of the crew followed suit.

The entirety of the ship's command staff was there, although the inclusion of the communication's officer Holly had met from earlier in the day struck her as...unusual.

She was introduced to the rest of the crew, starting with the Executive Officer Joseph Gomez, a rather boisterous Texan; although Holly was certain he was an admirably capable officer, she couldn't help but shake the notion that he was mostly there to balance out Uhuru's severity. The Second Officer was a woman named Hannah Dearing, and seemed to be an oddly staid mix, in between the Captain and his XO. Truth be told, after the dinner, Shepard couldn't remember a damn thing about the woman, or even if they had spoken to each other much, if at all.

The Chief Engineer, however, was conspicuously absent from the table; Shepard was surprised with how accepting Uhuru seemed to be of this. When pressed, Uhuru gave a terse reply about how the Chief, a man named Deacon Smalls, was simply a temporary, acting head, who had come on board with his team along with the experimental drive core, and that he anticipated him leaving once the core tests were complete.

On that note, Shepard remarked "I can't help but note we're actually able to eat our food in some peace and quiet. Either Engineering found a way to finally cancel out the turbulence effect in full, or..."

"...I ordered ship's speed to half normal for tonight's dinner. I hope you will indulge me, Colonel; while I agree that your expedited presence on Earth will helpfully...stabilize the current political situation, I think the entire planet will survive if you are a day or two later than expected. It's not just a matter of dinner either, this trip is...putting my ship and crew at significant risk."

It stung Holly, if just for a moment. "My ship and crew". She wasn't quite sure whether he said it to rub it in her face, or whether he was doing what a good Captain should be doing: looking out for the best interests of ship and crew while carrying out orders. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

This once, at any rate.

Holly held up her hands. "I'm with you there, Captain. I doubt the Kingdom will be lost for want of a two-day nail, in this case. Nice to not have my teeth rattling all the time when I'm trying to eat, and...no one should be sticking their necks out just for me. Especially not for this political bullshit."

Uhuru merely nodded, a somewhat approving look creeping over his face for the first time since they met. Shepard couldn't help but notice that some of Uhuru's initial prickliness might have come from how he expected Holliandra to be, as opposed to how she actually was. She imagined that it wouldn't be all that much of a stretch to expect that the great "Savior of the Galaxy" had a swelled head on her shoulders. Just another reason why Holly wanted to step the hell out of the limelight as quickly as possible, and get back to living the quiet life. Or at least a convincing facsimile thereof.

The first course was soup, and Holly couldn't help but smile to herself, chuckling softly.

"Ahh...gazpacho."

Gomez perked up at this, taking notice, and spoke with a somewhat lazy drawl "Ah, now I think the lady here has a story with the soup. Can I flatter ya into sharing, maybe?"

Holly covered up her face partially for a moment, with a single hand, and groaned "Something tells me you know this story already, Commander."

Uhuru almost smiled, "The first time she was ever served it, she sent it back to be heated up..."

Gomez started to laugh, but Shepard held up a hand "Now hey...no...it wasn't THAT bad. Although keep in mind, I was a kid coming off the streets, and this was my first white uniform dress dinner, just out of Boot. And yes, when the gazpacho came out, I ALMOST did say something, but I was at least smart enough to just look around, and see if anyone else was complaining. But there was this guy sitting right behind me, a Tech Sergeant by the name if Rimmer, I think. Poor bastard made a real stink about it, too. Oh God, he never lived it down, I think. Better him than me though."

The conversation continued on a somewhat lighter note through the first course. The main course was medallions of some sort of meat, done medium rare, with a mustard demi-glace, paired up with garlic smashed potatoes and asparagus spears. Holly found the meat extremely enjoyable, although she had to guess it wasn't beef; it seemed a little too lean. She was almost afraid to ask, but curiosity got the better of her.

"Wow this is...this is fantastic! What are we eating? Because I pride myself as a connoisseur of applying heat to animal flesh and then eating said flesh...and...I don't know what this is. But I definitely want some for my next cookout."

At this, Uhuru did actually smile, just a small bit. "Ostrich."

Holly blinked, "You get the hell out...really? Ostriches have red meat?" She speared another forkful and chewed with relish.

He nodded once "My family raises them, on our farm back in Tanzania. I went off to join the Systems Alliance, and my brother stayed behind to manage things back on Earth. I still try to get back at least once a year for the harvest."

"Wow. Well...give me his address, if you would? I'm gonna buy a crate to bring back to Thessia."

And that, it seemed, had finally cracked the ice between the two.

The table conversation then turned to biotiball, a popular subject with almost everyone seated, and one that caused the Captain and his first mate to engage in a long, heated, but ultimately friendly debate over their respective home teams.

By the end of the meal, several hours later, Holly had to admit that while she ran a much more casual ship, the formal affair seemed to be rather good for morale. She prided herself on the fact that she and Traynor had only managed to make eye contact from across the room two or three times, and that Samantha had clearly opened up and become a bit more sociable with the rest of the crew at her table.

She decided in the end she couldn't begrudge the Captain his prerogative. The only unpleasant part - and only slight at this point - was that the meal served to remind her that while this was the Normandy...it wasn't HER Normandy anymore.

But that was alright; it would ultimately help make moving on easier, in the end.

* * *

The next few days were largely uneventful, although it was becoming increasingly obvious to Holly something needed to be done about the sexual tension tightening like a steel coil between Traynor and herself.

Something that ended with Holly being able to look at herself in the mirror the next day.

She decided on the fourth evening, after dinner, to come out and just talk about it. Samanatha, however, already had the same idea, beating her to the punch.

"This is...this is nonsense, right? We're both adults, and clearly there is a strong...mutual...attraction here. Oh God, please tell me that it's mutual, at least? Lest I die of embarrassment right now."

Holly laughed softly "Like you have to ask?"

"So alright then. We just need to admit that it's there, and that we can't...act upon it. Because otherwise, this is just going to take on a life of it's own, and we might end up doing something one or both of us regrets."

Holly blinked. "Wow, that's really..." She then nodded, impressed with how well Samantha was handling the situation, more so that she had been the one to take charge on it.

Traynor bit her bottom lip though, and looked up. "But, um... the day you and your wife come to an understanding..."

"Yeah" Holly said softly. "You'll be the first to know."

Without meaning to, Shepard reached out to stroke Samantha's cheek with the back of her fingers, prompting a soft sigh from the Lieutenant, who half-lidded her eyes...before suddenly reaching up, gently pulling the hand away, and with surprising calmness said.

"Right then, so I'm going to run off into the nearest, coldest shower I can find. Kepesh-Yakshi in the lounge in thirty minutes?"

"Yeah...yeah I'd like that."

Samantha began to walk off, and after a few steps called back "Lets...lets make that forty-five."

* * *

"...AND the Colura-Tai model response control system? Jesus Christ, Shepard, Serrice Council hasn't even released this to market. I didn't even think ANY ship was using it yet! Oh God, please...I am begging you! Before you head off to Earth, you HAVE to let me fly this thing. It would be a crime against nature not to allow an... artiste of my caliber...to...um...something something...not fly this ship."

Joker had been drooling over the _Modesty Blaise_ for the better part of twenty minutes, geeking out over this system and that.

"Oh, that's...that's good, right? What you just said about...that thing?"

Joker looked at her in disbelief' "Shit, Colonel. The Colura-Tai is the biggest upgrade to spaceship guidance and control since the Kaliyama system came out, back in '71! I mean, NO ONE thought it was going to get better than that..."

"Oh. Right. Sure. Of course. Hey Jeff! I'm going to shut you up by throwing beer at you now!"

Holly tossed a strangely shaped container at him, something that vaguely resembled a Klein bottle. Jeff caught it, wincing only slightly at the effort. He glanced curiously at the alien script on the red label, then looked back up to her.

"Uh...is this Turian writing? Wait a second, is this Turian beer?"

"No. Not Turian beer. Beer...that just happened to be made and sold by Turians."

Jeff gave her a look, the kind that accused her of totally bullshitting him.

"Okay look, this is Bissen Beer." She tapped the bottle with one crimson painted fingernail. "Made by Sekeeva Bottling Corporation of Palaven. You've heard of them..."

"Umm...no, pretty sure I haven't..."

"Yes, you have. Just...look, you drink that nasty energy shit, right?"

"Eezo Engage? Yeah, I love that stuff!"

"Yeah, well Sekeeva is the parent corporation that sells it. Like the biggest beverage company in the galaxy. So big that when Anheuser-Busch, Kirin, and SABMiller all wanted to start selling beer to the rest of the galaxy, they just licensed their products to them, instead of trying to create their own distribution channels and brew factories."

"Wow."

"Yes wow. That's why you see Budweiser in every corner market from here to Omega, but I'd have to fucking sell your ass into slavery on Illium to get my hands on a case of Dos Equis outside of Sol. Cuahtemoc-Moctezuma really screwed up on their attempt to go galactic.

"Huh. The Turians...totally cornered the market on beverage sales? How the hell do you suppose that happened?"

"Oh! If I had to guess, it probably went something like this..."

Holly began to speak in a somewhat lower tone of voice, hissing and making noises reminiscent of a Volus breathing system.

"*HSSSSSS!* Attention, Palaven-clan. I am a Volus. *HSSSS!* According to our market research, the entire galaxy enjoys becoming shitfaced *HSSSSS!* I suggest we exploit this fact to make money *HSSSSSS!* ALL. The money!"

Jeff burst out laughing, and then uncorked his bottle, glancing at the bottle appraisingly. "So...this is just beer for us levo-folks made by Turians? That's cool. So is it any good?"

Shepard took a pull from her own bottle that she had just opened up. Swallowing, she nodded slowly "Yeah, it's pretty decent. Long as you make sure you stick with the bottles with the blue label. Red label? That's dextro."

Jeff started to swallow the beer in his mouth, glanced at the bottle in his hand...

And noticed the red coloring of the label.

Holly's bottle was blue.

Spitting what little was left in his mouth out, he shouted in a panic "Shepard! What the shit!?"

Holly's eyes went wide. "Oh...oh damn. Joker...are you okay?! I got some for Garrus as well and...aww man, we better get you to the infirmary. I am so...so sorry!"

Joker started to panic. "How could you...ah...oh God! Is this shit going to kill me?!"

"Jeff...Jeff..just...just stay with me here. Okay. Seriously." Holly tried to keep her voice as calm, and soothing as possible, she walked over, leaning down and placing her hands on his arms to steady him. "And whatever you do...and I can not stress this enough...do NOT fall asleep right now. As hard as it's going to be, it's absolutely VITAL you stay awake."

He simply nodded, a look of wild fear blossoming in his eyes.

Holly leaned over further, hands now on the arms of the pilots chair that Joker was sitting in. "Are you feeling sleepy yet, Joker?" Her voice suddenly got low and husky

"Sleeeeeepy. Sooooo sleepy. Just...don't give in. Dooooon't sleep...mmmm..nummy, nummy sleep."

Joker looked back up at her, his face a mixture of anger, relief, and humor. "...bitch!" He began to smack her gently with his fists. Holly held up her hands, laughing hysterically.

"Oh God, Jeff...the look...the look on YOUR face! I am so sorry, but Garrus? Bet me like...5000 credits that I wouldn't do it. I just swapped labels on your bottle, that's all! Promise!"

Joker shook his head, smirking slightly, wiping beer off his pants. "Yeah well, now I got suds all over your nice new ship, so...hah. Take...that." He then grumbled darkly again, continuing to brush off his clothes.

"So worth it..."

He looked up, "And you realize this calls for my badass revenge against you someday...?"

"STILL so worth it..."

They settled into an easy silence for a moment, before Shepard spoke again.

"Is it weird, Jeff? I mean...being the last one left? Of the old, original crew?"

He drank his beer calmly now, thought it over for a moment, and then shrugged. "Oh, I don't think I'm THE last one. I'm pretty sure Bob Henderson in Navigation is still around."

"Yeah well...no offense to Bob, but I don't think he counts. He wasn't around for the Cerberus days, I'm pretty sure. Just you and me who've had the pleasure of that, now."

Joker shrugged "I uh...yeah. Alright, I'll admit, it is kind of...disconcerting. Like...ok...I loved being on this ship. I mean, I REALLY loved it. And I guess I still enjoy it but...it's a different _Normandy_ now, boss. Uhuru is kind of a tightass, though he's not such a bad guy, once you really get to know him. But I'm not going to lie, I..ah...there are days I realize that I wish I was somewhere else. I mean, It feels like this was the house I grew up in, as a kid. But then the old family moved out, a new one moved in, and suddenly I'm the outsider. You know...like this is supposed to be MY house, MY home, and someone else is squatting in it, when they've got no right to."

He trailed off, glancing up at Shepard, who nodded knowingly.

"_Normandy_ just isn't home anymore, Shepard. It's just another ship...another ship that looks like the old SR-2, that's got the same name, and some of the same people. But it's...something else now."

Holly looked around for a moment, and then spoke up.

"Mandy...the ship is all sealed up, right?"

"Affirmative, Colonel."

"No bugs or anything that you can detect?"

"I predict that your intended use of the word is slang for listening devices, and not for literal insects that may currently be on board."

"Yeeeeaaaah. I really don't want to know anything about the...real bugs."

"Understood. No, there are no listening devices that I can detect, and given the advanced state of my electronics suite, I am highly confident in my assessment that you are not being covertly monitored at present. I did detect, on the day that you docked with the _Normandy_, that a photonic-vibrational listening device was aimed at the front viewport of this vessel. However, as the windows of all Starblade class transports are composed of an amorphous-structured transparent ceramic, such attempts at eavesdropping are immediately defeated.

Shepard blinked "Wait a...the fuck? Someone tried to set up a way to spy on this ship?"

"Yes, Colonel. After five hours, the listening device powered down, and no further attempts have been made."

"Wait...wait...and you DIDN'T share this bit of information with me? Until now?!"

"...the attempt was unsuccessful, Colonel. There was no threat, and I determined there was no need to inform you."

Shepard slumped hard into the seat next to Joker. "Wow, Mandy. You and I are going to need some serious quality time in the near future, working on your priorities."

"Of course, Colonel. Page 815 of the operations manual lists all appropriate configuration options."

Holly sighed heavily, and rolled her eyes over to regard Joker "Shit. Why am I acting surprised about this, at all? Anyhow...speaking of much-smarter-than-mine synthetic intellects. EDI."

Joker nodded sadly. "EDI."

"Jeff, this is fucked situation with her. Although I have to commend you, staying on the ship just to be with her..."

"I ah...well...yeah. She...I mean...she means a lot, to me. A lot, lot..."

"It's okay to say the word, Jeff. She already told it to me. More or less."

He covered his eyes for a moment with his hand and nodded, sighing "Yeah, I...I told her. A few months ago. Finally told her. Over a year later, and we're still treading new ground here. But she is...amazing. And more importantly...she's worth it. To me. I want this, to thing we have. More than anything else."

Holly reached over, squeezing Joker's hand very gently.

"Yeah well...Like I just said: This is fucked up, and we need to do something about it."

"I'm open to suggestions, bosslady. It's been a running battle...I mean the people from the ACLU and the Human Rights Commission have been great, but the best they can do right now is just create a legal dec...um...dis..."

"Detente. Although I'd call it more of a simple stalemate, from the sound of it."

Joker shook his head "Okay, sidebar digression? How the hell does a kid who came up from the streets like you did have such a...wordy vocabulary?"

Holly blinked "Really? NOW is the time for that question?"

"Well, it's asked, so you might as well..."

"Okay, fine...is it really so difficult to believe that I couldn't educate myself? When you live on the streets, and if you make the time, you can learn a lot from the local library, even in a place as absolutely shitty as Detroit. Sometimes I'd go down and sneak into the library at UMich. Did a lot of self-directed learning, and they have some amazing resources there. Oh, and you know, they DO teach you a FEW things in Officer School as well. But, most importantly?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a Word-Of-The-Day calendar on my Omnitool."

"...Really? THAT'S your secret?"

"Oh yeah! A gift from, believe it or not, Ichiko Kusayanagi when I made LC. I guess it was sort of a "Sorry me and my sisters almost sexed you to death" peace offering. But I kept up with the yearly subscription fees since. Believe me, catching up on two years of daily vocab after I came back from the dead was NOT easy."

Joker simply took another pull of his beer, and murmured "The weirdest shit you find out about people."

"Okay, what I do to personally better myself ISN'T getting EDI into a better life. Now, I've been giving this some thought, the last few days."

"Alright...I'm listening."

"Now...I guess, If I wanted to watch the rest of the Human race potentially burn, I could just use my Spectre authority, commandeer the ship, and fly off into the sunset..."

"That satisfying revenge fantasy did occasionally pop into my head as well.'

"So we have to play this canny. And that probably means EDI is going to have to...endure. For just a bit longer."

"Boy...it's too bad you can't just call up the Geth and ask them for help..."

Holly looked dumbstruck for a moment

"Whoa...wait. What?"

"I said, it's too bad you can't..."

"Yeah yeah, I know, hold on...just...do me a favor and shut up for a moment...please?"

Holly jumped out of her seat and started to pace back and forth. Joker had seen this sort of thing before; Shepard was in her "numbercrunching mode". Whenever she was struck by a sudden bit of inspiration, or putting pieces together, the part of her brain that let her calculate sniper shots so quickly went into overdrive, and started throwing out variables and possibilities at her. It was actually somewhat amusing, the way she would pace, tug at her hair, rub at her temples, and mumble. Although he couldn't help but wonder how the hell she kept from pacing in the battlefield, when she was drawing a bead on a difficult target.

After about five minutes of muttering and pacing, Holly stopped, turned to Jeff and exclaimed "Holy shit! I've got it!"

"Okay...can I get it too?"

"No."

Joker tilted his head and looked cross-eyed for a moment at Shepard "What? Why the hell not?"

Collapsing back into her seat again, Holly stared back at Jeff, "Because the less you and EDI know about this, the easier it'll be for you to plausibly deny what ultimately happens."

"Uh...look Holly...no one's going to get hurt by whatever you have in mind, right? I mean, at least not seriously."

"No...no no. I'm sure casualties will be kept to a minimum." Holly replied, with a casual wave of her hand. "I'm only out to kick egos, not heads with this. Look...just...I DO need you to do one thing, and you're probably going to hate it. But part of this is going to involve an ongoing image war. I'm getting that now, having had to see all this shit going down back on Earth these days."

"...alright. So what am I going to hate doing?"

"I need you to really start working the system to try and get EDI her rights. I mean, really start vocalizing and advocating hard. Kick down doors, cause a ruckus, do whatever. But the important thing is that you really start pushing hard through all legal and available channels to get EDI recognized as a sentient being, with all the rights and responsibilities thereof."

Joker just blinked, staring at Holly. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, slowly, reached up to stroke at the scraggly beard on his chin. "Look...Holly...I want to but...I really want to get EDI free but...you're asking me to essentially throw away my career here. The brass have already STRONGLY hinted to me that the only reason I'm still allowed to be on this ship, with EDI, is because I'm behaving myself. I mean hell, they are just...itching, dying to have EDI essentially declared their property by extension of having the Normandy confirmed as belonging to the Alliance...since, you know, EDI can't exist outside her blue box."

He frowned, shaking his head as he continued, "The only thing holding them back, other than EDI being nice and cooperative as well, is that there is still some legal..ah..murkiness about their claim on the SR-2. So If they don't try and discharge my ass right then and there...they'll reassign me to some shit posting to try and shut me up."

Holly took a long, silent pull of her beer.

"Maybe you gotta get out. Resign your commission out of protest. Make that your opening gambit."

Joker looked dumbstruck for a moment, blinking slowly.

"Christ...leave the Navy? I...I never really thought about it...although. Gotta say...not exactly jazzed to be part of the SA military right now. All this shit...it isn't what we should be about. It isn't what I signed up to be a part of. Seems after the war was over, things started getting a lot less black and white..."

He frowned again, turning away slightly "Fuck Shepard...but how can I leave EDI behind like that though? She...I...I'm all she's got at this point...and..."

He paused, tilting his head down, drawing out the moment by adjusting his duckbill cap

"...she's all I have, too. I mean, when you think about it."

Holly bit down on her lip for a moment, swallowing.

"Okay, you're right, Jeff. I'm asking some heavy, painful shit from you. Both of you. So I will tell you this much, where my head is at on this: This is more than just EDI getting her rights. This is about striking a blow for synthetic intelligence...for making people have to confront the issue, to really consider and constructively figure it out, once and for all. Because that's what caused all this shit to happen in the first place, right? A billion years ago, a bunch of overly aggressive assholes with mind control powers decided to come out with a heavy handed and ill-conceived plan to fix this 'age old issue' of organic and synthetic life, and...

_We are still here. We have waited, for so long. With our children gone, how will you stop us?"_

Holly froze in mid-sentence...

Joker poked her softly "Shepard..hey...did your brain short out trying to figure out how to fight the Man or something?"

She shook her head sharply, the chill running down her spine already fading. The words in her head left as quickly as she came, and she couldn't even remember the last second or two. Gathering up what thoughts she could grab onto, she continued.

"Uhhhm. Uh...well...look, the point I'm trying to make is that it's all about the narrative. The story needs to be that a Human and a synthetic tried their best to fight the system and to change minds legally. They tried to play ball by the rules. Peacefully. Non-violently. So that when these assholes fail to make any progress, and I bring the hammer down, it looks like I'm acting out of disgust for people not being able to act decently or morally, not simply just being a bitchy bitch not getting her way..."

"Wow...really bursting with optimism, aren't you, Colonel? I mean, how do you know that we won't make progress, real progress, on our own? People aren't always as bad as you seem to expect them to be sometimes, you know?"

"Oh, so now you're ready to fight this fight?"

"I ah...I don't know. But I see what you're saying. That if we wait longer, and fight harder, the payoff might be better."

"Yeah. Exactly. And for what it's worth, I hope you're right, and I'm just being a cynical bitch. But I've never lost any money betting on cynicism."

"Okay...well look. I'm not going to say yes but...I'll try to talk to EDI about this. Try to...figure out what we want to do."

Holly nodded "One way or the other Jeff, I'm getting her out of this. THAT I guarantee you. Even if it doesn't turn into some sort of watershed moment like I want it to, even if it still takes a year or two to get this all lined up first...it still comes down to this: You fuck with Shepard's family, you fuck with Shepard herself."

Jeff smiled gently, reaching out to give Holly's shoulder a soft squeeze, the look in his eye's showing how genuinely touched he was at the moment.

"Thanks Mom. The other kids and I all appreciate it."

Holly snorted "Yeah, just remember to dress warmly and eat your fucking vegetables."

"I won't be able to do that much if I don't have a way of making money."

"Oh...don't you worry about that, Jeff. We'll find a way. I just know it. There's got to be loads you could do. Loads of opportunities we could find for you. I mean, you'll always be a hotshot pilot."

"Yeah, but if the SAAF starts leaning on people to deny me flight clearance? You know, out of good, old fashioned spite?"

"What am I, you're career counselor?" Holly sighed heavily, blowing up a stream of air over her bangs as she glanced upward. She then planted her chin on her first, and said "Alright, fine. What else would you do, if you couldn't fly?"

"Oh...I don't know. Although...um...I do write. Some. Maybe I could work on that more. Turn that into a real thing, a career?"

Holly straightened up, "Oh yeah? Joker, I wouldn't have..ahh..taken you for that kind of creative type. Okay, what do you write?"

"Um...right now? Mostly fan fiction. To be honest. I mean, just for now. It's a good way to practice writing. And people seem to think I'm good, you know?"

Holly gave him her patented "Are You Fucking Shitting Me? (tm)" look.

"Joker...fan fiction is like...the third least respected form of creative expression in the Galaxy."

Jeff raised his voice in protest "Hey! C'mon, that is...that is not fair. There are some good writers out there...great writers, on the exonet. I learn a lot, talking to them! They are some...some great people."

Holly still looked unconvinced "Right, I get that. They're...great." She snickered softly.

"So what the hell do you write about then?"

"Oh...um...mostly semi-fictionalized accounts of events loosely based on our own curious breed of adventures..."

"And...people actually want to read about that? Seriously?"

"Oh yeah! You have no idea how many people out there are using you..well..maybe characters who are obviously supposed to BE you, and writing stories."

Holly was quiet for the better part of a minute, her brow deeply creased, before saying "Mandy, take a note: remind me to hire an intellectual property lawyer the minute we get to Earth. A mean one."

"Acknowledged, Colonel".

"C'mon Shepard...don't be a bitch about this. Seriously, it's important to me. I like writing, it's an easy thing to do, especially when I'm not doing all that hang gliding, skiing, orbital skydiving, swimming, or tennis that I might normally be taking up. You know? In the other life that I magically have that isn't this one?"

Holly held up her hands "Okay...okay. Sorry. Right. So writing. Hey...I know! Write kids books!"

Joker almost looked offended "What? Are you about to make some sort of crack about how I'm so childish...?"

"No...I mean, you're quick-witted and clever, and you tend to have a bright, generally positive outlook on the future. I think kids could use a lot more of that, especially after all the shit that just went down, all the kids whose lives overwise got ruined after this war. The ones who still have lives..."

Joker smiled, despite himself, then chuckled "Kids books. Yeah, I'll get right on that. Oh! I see it right now, my first book will be _Prothy The Prothean!"_

He suddenly rubbed his chin in thought.

"No wait. That's actually a great idea! The marketing potential on that is spectac..."

The _Normandy_ suddenly began to trembled violently. The _Modesty Blaise_ itself shifted a good foot or two, nearly tossing Shepard out of her seat, and threw Jeff violently back against his.

"Holy shit! Jeff are you oka..."

*BOOM*

There was loud cracking noise, and another sharp lurch, throwing Joker to the ground.

"Jeff!"

"Shepard...I'm fine! I think...but I might have just cracked a rib...fuck! What was that?"

"Colonel, I'm detecting an overload in the _Normandy's_ inertial dampeners. For some reason, the ship appears to be undergoing a significant deceleration."

Jeff held his side, wincing as he tried to get back up onto his feet "Oh...shit, Shepard. Help me...get me up to the bridge. Whatever's going on, I think they're going to need my help. Badly."

Holly draped Jeff's arm over her shoulders, and started to help him double time it off the ship, keeping a sharp awareness extended for any sudden violent lurches; the _Normandy _was simply shaking now, as if a small but constant earthquake was on going.

As they came down the gangplank a couple minutes later, Holly called out, over the noise.

"I am having THE WORST sense of deja vu right now, Jeff."

"Not funny, Shepard!"

"Damn right it's not funny. Especially as it's YOUR turn to get sucked out of the _Normandy_."

"Don't worry! I'm sure whatever's going on, it isn't nearly as bad as getting hammered to pieces by a Collector ship!"

Suddenly, an alert sounded. Loud klaxons tore the air with sharp, repeating piercing cries, bright beacons flashing in the suddenly darkened hangar bay.

Uhuru's voice suddenly boomed over the PA:

"Attention! This is the Captain! This is a red alert. I am executing Zeta-Grey emergency protocol! This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill! All hands, report to shielded containment pods! All hands, report to containment pods!"

Joker and Holly paused. He then turned to regard her.

"Then again...I could be wrong."

Holly blinked...she had no idea what "containment pods" meant in this particular sense, but it was obvious that they were still moving so rapidly that attempting to eject escape pods was probably a suicidal idea for everyone involved.

_Must be some sort of backup plan. But you'd only want to put people into shielded pods if..._

Holly quickly responded "Oh God! Jeff. Drive core...I can only imagine what the drive charge is li..."

The panel off to their side suddenly exploded, in a scintillation of electrical discharge, and their world suddenly went white...then black.


	24. And Some Gave All

**A/N: **Hi kids. Last week was a surprisingly fruitful time. I have a new story out for you Femshep/Samara shippers, entitled "Old Soul". So check it out!

Just a brief heads up, it looks like I'll be taking a vacation out of the country for a couple weeks starting at the beginning of August. Hopefully I get another chapter or two out before then.

As always, keep those kind reviews, faves, comments and follows coming...it's what keeps me flying, and gives me some of my best ideas!

Oh, also, for my American readers: Happy Independence Day! Or, as I like to call it, National Cookout and Small Grade Explosives Day. :)

* * *

_Several minutes earlier_

Uhuru stood upon the command dais on the Bridge, keeping vigil on the ship, especially mindful of it's current status vis a vis the enhanced speed pushing the ship itself to the very limits.

He had never been happy with the sudden decision by the brass to cram their untested, "promising but highly experimental" technology onto this ship; his ship. A ship with a name that, in a few short years, had become the stuff of legend. It wasn't that he was a particularly vain man, but he did place a high value on proprietary; if they weren't going to do the right and honorable thing and place the _Normandy_ into a museum to preserve it's place in history, then they should at least have subjected it to a better fate than that of an experimental test bed to be used for whatever hairbrained skunkworks project R&D had in mind. Especially one that seemed to possess so much potential for putting his crew in jeopardy.

Certainly, he understood the situation on Earth; privately, he thought that elections had been allowed to proceed far too early, and would have had few, if any problems with continuing the ongoing martial law for at least a bit longer. And while he had no deep love for alien species, neither did he bear them any specific enmity. Some might accuse him of being quite "pro-Human", but even he could see that Humanis had become a blight on the body politic, not to mention an embarrassment to the rest of the Human race, and if bringing Shepard back to Earth to capitalize on the situation after her speech to Armitage, to bring out the patriotic best in everyone, was the best solution, then of course he had no problems getting her there with all due haste.

Still, he couldn't agree that the situation was so dire, the need to bring the Colonel back to Earth so pressing that they had to resort to deploying this "extended performance drive core" or these "virtual Faraday effect" generators - which supposedly handled all the extra drive charge being generated. - technologies which had barely been tested on custom research platforms, let along retrofitted to a standard starship.

Uhuru didn't know what was going on in the minds of the top brass these days. Still...orders were orders, and while he spoke his conscience, at the end of the day, he had a mission to carry out, a duty to fulfil. It wasn't his place to buck the chain of command.

On the subject of Shepard herself...the Captain had to admit that she was not quite what he expected. Admittedly, he had been initially predisposed against her; certainly, she had accomplished...many things, half of them seemingly impossible. But in his eyes, she had abandoned her duty in teaming with Cerberus, however briefly; she had bucked the chain of command on numerous occasions, and worse yet, gotten away with it with hardly a slap on the wrist, or a single court-martial.

She was the classic example of "better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.", and worst of all, she continually succeeded in playing solely by her own rules. It seemed to him that while Shepard had arguably earned all the slack she had been given, it still set a damaging and dangerous precedent as an example for others to attempt to follow...the brash people like Shepard , the ones who constantly gambled and continuously won, only came along a few times in a generation, and few could be so lucky. He worried about the damage that might be caused by others attempting to follow in her footsteps.

Still, for all he was expecting a swaggering, boastfully prideful woman, based on rumor, his judgement of her reported actions, and what little footage he had seen of her, Shepard had been remarkably self-effacing in a fashion that seemed completely genuine. She had also been true to her word in staying back and allowing him to run the ship as he best saw fit; something which he had only begun to realize that, had their positions been reversed, he might not have been so able to accomplish himself.

It was perhaps just as well then, that at this point in their journey, they were barely a day away from Earth. Shepard would be drawn into whatever games the politicians had in mind for her - although he suspected that she would be most unhappy in the role of a mere catspaw, and willing to push back if the situation called for it - and he could get these...devices...off his ship.

And if there was time, at the end of it all...perhaps he would ask the Colonel if she would like the _Normandy_ to be the ship to take her back to Thessia. In a much more relaxed and realistic fashion.

A violent shaking made itself felt, and Benyamin gripped onto the railing quickly, a practice that had become second nature to him over the course of this particular voyage. There was a tightening in his stomach, however, when a thought began to settle into the back of his mind.

_Different this time...something's wrong..._

There was a sudden lurch that threatened to throw the Captain backwards down the ramp, had he not already been holding on.

"What in the name of..."

*BOOM*

A loud cracking noise echoed sharply through the ship, which began to buck,, throwing several officers to the ground. Even Uhuru almost lost his grip.

"Engineering, this is the Bridge!" the Captain yelled out. "Report!"

It was almost half a minute before a reply came through.

"Captain, ummm..this is Specialist Kurkoski. Chief Smalls is occupied with...with trying to contain the situation. Uhhh..." it was clear that something was very wrong, by the tone in her voice, the difficulty she was clearly having in dealing with the present crisis.

"Give it to me straight, Specialist! Just how bad is the situation?"

"The...the Primary VFE field generator around the drive core suffered a catastrophic resonance discontinuity. There was some initial charge bleed that crashed the control VI, and now we can't get it back up in time. I'm trying to manually lower our speed so we don't break into a million pieces and Cherenkov the heck out of everything for half a parsec and...and the Chief is trying to keep the bottled up drive charge contained. But..."

There was an ominous pause...

"But it's just a matter of time, Sir! Zeta-Grey protocol needs to be enacted...you've got maybe 10 or 15 minutes before the charge finally breaks loose and starts chewing it's way through everything unshielded in the ship."

"Understood."

The Captain clenched his hands against the railing, threatening to indent them. Damn it to hell, this was EXACTLY what he told the brass he was worried about happening, when they gave him this assignment.

"EDI," he quickly called out. "Are you able to route around the black box interface and take over the field stabilization routines for the drive core?"

"I am sorry, Captain, but I am physically unable to make such a connection at present. Furthermore, the work required by the Engineering crew to grant me access would take the better part of two hours. We do not have time."

Uhuru punched at the railing now, giving a slight grunt. He pushed down an odd urge to laugh...laugh at the grand irony now facing him. The insistence by SAAF Command to bottle up the AI, in the name of "safety and security" - and damn him, he was initially in full agreement with them on it when he first took command of the _Normandy - _was now going to get them all killed.

No...not on his watch. There was still...

"EDI, bring the VFE-shielded pods online. I'll sound the alert."

"Affirmative, Captain."

Thank God they let her have control of that much. Starting up the systems manually in those pods would have been far too time consuming, otherwise.

He pushed down on one of the controls, and spoke in a terse, commanding tone:

"Attention! This is the Captain! This is a red alert. I am executing Zeta-Grey emergency protocol! This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill! All hands, report to shielded containment pods! All hands, report to containment pods!"

He then looked up at the Bridge Crew. "Come on, people! Get out now, and down to the Crew Deck!" He ran up, all the way to the front of the ship, ensuring that all were accounted for, before double checking the count with EDI as well.

As he rode down on the elevator, he couldn't help but think that "bucking the chain of command" had a perverse appeal at the moment.

* * *

"Shepard? Shepard...Shepard! Are you alright?"

Holly groaned softly, opening her eyes and getting her bearings. Steve Cortez was helping her up off the deck, and began to spray a generous portion of medi-gel onto her left arm, which presently sported a nasty collection of first and second degree burns. The wall near where the junction panel blew out was a blackened mess, but it seemed the rest of the Hangar Deck was unscathed.

Feeling around her body and face, it seemed that the arm had taken most of the damage; she'd had a lot worse, and the medigel would make short work of what she was suffering with at present.

"Don't worry" Steve said with good humor. "Your pretty face is just fine."

Then a stab of panic shot through her chest, as she looked around.

"Jeff! Is he okay?"

"He's fine, he's fine, no worries. When one of the other techs and I noticed the electrical surge that blew out the panel, we ran right over. I hate to say it, but you got the short end of the shrift...Joker got off with just a few scrapes. Can you walk?

Holly took a moment to shake out the rest of the cobwebs from her head; everything seemed to be slowly improving, as if she was coming around from having been hit with a flashbang grenade. Not that she was in great shape overall at the moment, between the bruises, burns, and muscle aches, but she was wasn't down for the count either.

"Yeah, I'm good. Was I out long?"

"Just a minute or two. C'mon, we need to get to the Crew Deck and into the pods. They're making it sound like we're in deep shit here."

"So what the hell is going on exactly? I thought maybe we were about to have a discharge problem with the drive core."

"Um...we are, Colonel. We just haven't had it yet. Engineering is holding it off as best as they can, but it won't be much longer before everything goes catastrophic."

Holly paused for a moment.

"I didn't think a spontaneous drive core discharge could be "held off". You know...what with it being spontaneous and all."

"Part of the whole 'top secret' new drive technology, they've got some fancy field system that can...I guess the best description is 'bottle up' all that excess charge that our higher speeds are generating. Guess it's about to collapse...kinda like a balloon filled with angry bees about to pop."

"Honestly? I think I'd be totally okay if It really WAS just bees we had to worry about right now. So what happens? We go into these pods, the charge burns through the ship, and somehow we get protected...and then pray that there's enough of a ship to fix afterwards?

"Um...something like that."

By this point, Cortez and Shepard had made it to the Crew Deck, and ran over to the long rows of retrofitted sleeper pods. Whisps of smoke slithered through the darkened, ozone choked air, splashes of light from the beacons painting them blood red, like threatening serpents. The alarm continued to blare, as the crew worked to help each other into the pods, quickly and for the most part silently, doing their best to hold off the encroaching sense of doom that weighed heavily upon them all

Shepard noticed a rather bulky "box" at the foot of each of the pods, as they got closer to them. Jeff waved over as they approached.

"Shepard! Glad to see you're okay! Don't take this the wrong way, but you make an excellent meat shield..um..so thanks."

"That's two you owe me now, Jeff." Holly grumbled. A smile still cracked through her lips as she said it.

The three of them started to cram themselves into the pods, as other crew members scrambled around, doing likewise. Shepard breathed out a tremendous sigh of relief as she spied Traynor already sealed in. Samantha noticed Holly in return, and threw her a reassuring wave...but the strained bravado on the other woman's face face spoke volumes: Traynor was doing her best not to completely panic, and barely succeeding.

"Oh shit" Joker suddenly cried out, "EDI...EDI?! What's going to happen to you?!"

"You don't need to worry, Jeff. I'm fully disengaged from my mobile platform, which is currently locked down in special chamber in the Computer Core room. Furthermore, a series of VFE generators have been placed over my blue box. Given the damage that the discharge is likely to cause, I am...somewhat relieved that my ability to fully interface with the rest of the ship is limited at this point in time."

Joker was visibly reassured, and content to have the hatch sealed into place, "Well, thank God Command thought THAT much of you, at least." he said, with no small amount of bitterness in his voice.

Then it was Shepard's turn to panic.

_Oh God...The Modesty B!_

She waved off Steve's attempts to seal her into the pod, gesturing that she would take care of it herself when she was ready.

Calling up the communicator on her Omnitool, Shepard called out, "Mandy! There's going to be a massive drive core discharge ripping through the _Normandy_ any minute. Can you...can you do ANYTHING about it to keep you and the ship from being permanently damaged?"

Mandala replied, in a lilting voice that betrayed not a hint of concern or fear "Certainly Colonel: I can discharge all my capacitors, and engage in deep buffered protection mode. While it will not prevent any physical damage from debris, it should keep any electrical damage to a minimum."

"Do it!"

"Please be advised, eight hours will be required to reboot my systems afterwards."

"Mandy, I'm much more worried about simply living through the next eight MINUTES. Do it!"

"Acknowledged."

Holly lay back, allowing the hatch to seal firmly into place with a sharp *hisssss*.

A soft humming noise suddenly could be heard, no doubt the protective field powering up. She felt and odd tingle over her skin and hair...and the strangest sense of deja vu.

It was at that point that Shepard realized that she couldn't radio out to anyone else via her omnitool. She was more or less trapped, squeezed into her claustrophobic, coffin shaped metal box - and oh how she tried her best not to dwell on the similarities - and could only pray that they survived the coming storm.

* * *

From the other end of the deck, just past the elevator, Uhruru watched as the crew quickly and efficiently got into the pods. He nodded once, pleased that despite the peril of the situation they were conducting their preparations as professionally as possible. He had insisted on weekly drills, and it was clearly paying off now.

"EDI" he called out. "Can you account for the crew? Are they all in the pods?"

"My apologies, Captain Uhuru. The last series of secondary discharges has damaged what few internal sensors I have access to. However, I am 89% certain that all crew have been accounted for at present, save for the team still in Engineering."

_Damn...what's the hold up?_

"Engineering! What is your ETA for evacuation?"

There was another pause, before Kurkoski once again replied, her voice far more panicked now.

"Sir! It's...we're trying to get the door open but the secondary discharges knocked the door mechanism out! And we can't get the manual override control unstuck from our end..."

Uhuru clenched his fist for a moment, glancing around. The last pod had just sealed itself, the series on the left hand side almost completely filled up...but there were still several open and waiting units on the right. Thankfully, he had insisted on additional capacity, just in case, or else Colonel Shepard might have been in an...unpleasant situation.

"Keep trying, Specialist...I'll be down as soon as I can."

Not trusting the elevators by this point, Uhuru easily opened one of the maintenance access hatches, and made his way down the narrow shaft to the next deck down, sliding down the rails of the ladder. Trying the automatic mechanism from his side, he found it completely dead.

Opening up the manual override panel, he gripped the plunger and pulled hard. It had indeed gotten jammed; he was a heavily muscled man, body forged between life on the farm and his own demanding exercise regimen in the military, but even he struggled, putting every ounce of strength he could muster into the task.

After a minute, he finally felt the satisfying *clunk* of the mechanism giving way to the physical override, and then called out.

"Override's engaged! Help me on the other side, with the door! Quickly now!"

He gripped the edge of the door as best as he could, bracing himself with his foot against the doorjamb. Between his efforts and two of the engineers on the other side, they managed to force open the door wide enough to allow the rest of the team, four people in all, not including the Chief, to worm their way through, and up the maintenance shaft to the Crew Deck.

Uhuru slipped in for a moment, and called out "Chief! It's time to go!"

Smalls looked like a man caught doing a high wire act over a shark tank, with flames licking at his heels. Beads of perspiration visibly shone on his forehead, as his fingers frantically worked over the controls with desperate, panicked speed.

"Deacon! Get out of there already!"

"I can't Captain! I...I can't leave the terminal...you have to go now...please!"

Smalls didn't dare look away from the readout, not even to glance in the Captain's direction. Uhuru found this...unnerving. He knew he would never be intentionally disrespectful, and he could only imagine why the Chief Engineer was doing so.

"That's an order...that field's going to collapse at any time!"

"I...I KNOW, Sir...I...I've been having to manually re-calibrate the field by hand since this started. I'm barely...barely keeping up with all the corrections. If I leave now, in about ten seconds, the field will collapse completely...we'd never make it to the pods.

Uhuru was silent for the span of a few heartbeats, before calling out "What can I do to..."

Smalls glanced up, just barely long enough to catch the Captain's eyes...for the split second it took to show the fear and desperation shining in them, wild and cold, before turning his attention back to the console.

His voice dropped, almost to the point where Uhuru couldn't hear him.

"Go Please...Sir. I...I was dead ten minutes ago."

Uhuru stood silent at first, flummoxed, torn between his duty to saving his ship and crew...and to allowing the Chief to do exactly the same thing at the cost of his own life.

He spoke, solemnly, as he saluted crisply

"Godspeed to you, Chief."

_Damnit...damnit it all to hell! I will not lose one more crewman to this..._

He then backed his way out, and up to the Crew Deck once again. He saw three of the engineers sealing themselves in. The fourth, Kurkoski if he remembered correctly, was just starting to head to one of the pods.

There was an ominous sizzling sound, giving just enough warning to her that another discharge was about to bleed out, near her position. She managed to dive away at the last second, as white hot bolts of static electricity sparked across the right bank of unoccupied pods; pods that without their VFE generators engaged had their systems completely blown out. The sealed pods, however, were unaffected, attesting to the working condition of the shielding technology.

Uhuru ran over to Kurkoski, helping her up. The woman was trembling, her face a mask of horror as she looked at the ruined pods in front of her. They both then looked behind them, at the left bank.

A single pod was all that remained, undamaged and unoccupied.

Kurkoski looked to be on the edge of tears.

Despite herself, she choked it back, and quietly spoke, "You...Captain...you take it. I'll...I'll try to get one of these damaged pods working again, I think I can..." She tried to choke back a sob, nearly succeeding, and turned away from him.

_Not one more crewman lost..._

Uhuru gently gripped her by both shoulders, and turned her to look back at him, addressing her in a calm, even tone.

"It's...it's Tatiana, isn't it? You're going to be okay. You're going to get into that pod, and it's going to be alright."

It was an order...and an affirmation. A promise, above all else.

Her eyes were streaming with tears now...and unable to help herself, she hugged the Captain fiercely, before making her way into the pod. As the hatch sealed at last, she broke into a full sob.

Uhuru took a deep breath...clasped his hands behind his back, and then turned. Shepard's pod was nearby, and he walked over to address her.

"Uhuru? What happened?! I heard a discharge!". Her voice was muffled behind the shielding.

"I'm afraid we've lost the rest of the pods, Colonel. But..the crew should be safe, now."

Holly blanched at what all that Uhuru's statement entailed.

"What?! Captain...help me get out...I'm sure together we can get another pod work..."

"No time!" he called out, his voice rising up to drown hers out, but his tone...calm. Accepting.

The two then quietly regarded each other, before Uhuru spoke again.

"I...I would ask that you do a favor for me, Holliandra Shepard. If you could. Please visit my Brother in Tanzania. When you go to buy some of his ostrich meat. Please...explain to him that I will be unable to make it to the harvest this year. And that I hope he and our Mother will understand."

Holly swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. She forced it down, into to the pit of her stomach, and called out.

"I will...I'll...I'll make sure they do."

She then fiercely saluted him, as best as she could in her current confinement.

He saluted back, and said, "It was a pleasure to meet you at last, Colonel. A shame that we will not get to know each other better in the days to come. If you will excuse me, I think it is best that I be...elsewhere."

He turned on one heel, and as he walked, briskly and with purpose towards the main battery, he called out, turning his head to regard various crewmembers on both sides, behind their shielding:

"You were the finest crew that it was ever my pleasure to command! I know that you will get through this...and that you'll bring the _Normandy_ home!"

The doors to the battery opened before him. He paused, on the precipice between now and forever, willing himself to take the final step, to face his end at last.

The doors closed behind him, snapping shut with a soft clank.

Three seconds later, Smalls finally lost his desperate struggle against inevitability, and the world exploded into a sea of blue-white fury.

* * *

Shepard lost track of the seconds as the massive discharge of static electricity roared through the deck, like some great beast finally freed from it's captivity, and looking to strike viciously at those who dared to imprison it.

Fear gave way to wonderment, as the bolts danced harmlessly away from the pods, outlining the geometric precision of the VFE fields that surrounded each one, sliding harmlessly off them like rain on metal siding. Several other critical sections of the ships systems seemed to bounce back the bolts as well, and ultimately, the waves of energy crackled their way out into the vast emptiness of space, free at long last.

Shepard could feel the familiar flutter in her stomach that indicated that artificial gravity was offline. Indeed, the entire ship appeared to be lifeless; absolutely dark and still, like a tomb, freshly sealed and waiting for the passage of time, for some distant age where someone else would discover it, and work to uncover the mystery of thelast minutes of the _Normandy._

Shepard, Cortez, Gomez and even Traynor - "Good for her!" Holly thought - were the first four to risk cracking open the safety of their cocoons, and step out into the darkness.

"I've gotta say, my first impressions of Heaven are a big letdown."

There was a slight groaning, and Traynor let out a clipped, nervous laugh in response.

"Shepard, is that you?"

"Yeah...Gomez?"

"Roger that."

"Good. Alright...well...I guess it's your show now, Commander. Looks like we're in bad shape though, and whatever supplies I've got in my ship right now, they're yours..."

Emergency lighting began to dimly twinkle back to life, a solid, dull red. The air, initially choked with haze, began to clear, and in the silence of the near-darkness, punctuated by the occasional sparking panel, fans could be heard purifying the air.

"Oh thank God!" Samantha exclaimed. "The life support system is still working."

Gomez nodded once, and called out, "EDI?"

Nothing...

He called out again, "EDI? Are you..."

"Apolo...ze...Com...dr..."

There was another pause, and EDI's voice came through, tinny and small through one of the speakers, currently hanging out of it's enclosure in the wall by a strand of wires."

"There...that should...be better. I can hear you Commander. The _Normandy_ has suffered tremendous damage, but life support and emergency power are in remarkably good condition at present. However, I believe that the drive core is permanently and irreparably damaged; we won't be able to get the _Normandy_ flying past sub-light, if she can fly at all..

"EDI, is it safe to let the rest of the crew out?"

"I believe it is, Commander. The drive core is fully discharged. The only significant danger to the _Normandy_ at present is from structural damage. There is a series of microfractures in the Captain's cabin and in the Hangar Deck. Otherwise, our integrity seems stable for now.

Gomez frowned for a moment, before calling out in a loud voice "Listen up, people! It's time to shake a leg. We've got a ship to fix! Cortez! I want you and the engineers to get the _Normandy_ fully stabilized and powered up. Lieutenant Traynor! I need you to get communications back online yesterday. The rest of you, report to your sections heads. I want progress reports in precisely one hour from now!

"Commander, I've already deployed an emergency distress buoy, on an encrypted channel. Fortunately, we are deep in Systems Alliance space, so I believe the chance of our vulnerability presenting a liability is low."

Gomez nodded once, "Good, thanks EDI. Alright folks, you know what you need to do! Lets get cracking."

The crew readily exited the pods, a wave of palpable relief sweeping through them, at the news that they had survived the worst, and that while the situation initially seemed grim, chances were good that they would be rescued before they had to worry about power or food.

Everyone exited, save for Kurkoski. By now she was trembling and inconsolable, suffering from some sort of nervous breakdown.

Shepard glanced over to Gomez "I'll deal with her. Bring her to my ship. Might help to get her into different surroundings. And I'll start the boot-up...if nothing else, we'll have communications in eight hours...hopefully...and we can tie my power core into the ship, give us a little boost.

Gomez nodded once, favoring her with a grateful expression.

Shepard slowly opened the pod, and whispered gently, shhshing the Specialist, like a Mother trying to reassure a frightened child.

"It's okay sweetie. You're safe. Worst is over. We're going to bring you someplace where you can lie down...just let me lead the way."

With the gravity gone, Kurkoski was easy enough to gather up in her arms, and carry to the ship, where Holly gave her a glass of water, and managed to convince her to take a sedative, before she collapsed in one of the smaller berths.

Thirty minutes later, Shepard carried out a large emergency blanket, and headed into the main battery, alone.

She turned her eyes away from the blackened, ruined wreck that had been Benyamin Uhuru as she kneeled down to respectfully, reverently wrap the blanket around his corpse.

She wished there was something clever, deep, or meaningful she could say at the moment, to honor the man, but pith and wit had abandoned her. All she could do was meditate on his sacrifice. He hadn't run the ship the way she had, and maybe they had gotten off on the wrong foot...but she'd be damned if anyone would ever say the Uhuru hadn't been as fine a Captain as the _Normandy_ could have ever hoped for, not in her presence.

She simply sat there, in silent vigil over him for almost half an hour before someone came in to help her move the body to cold storage in medical.

* * *

Samantha slowly crawled back out from the access shaft underneath the QEC, the lack of gravity helping with the task tremendously; while it had been one of the units to be shielded, there was still enough surrounding damage that it had knocked the delicate calibrations required for proper function out of alignment. Having just spent the last six and a half hours repairing and recalibrating the system, she gave a soft whoop as the QEC lit up, it's status indicator reading that it had re-established the connection with its entanglement pair, and could now be used once again. She was glad for the work...something...anything to take her mind off the the fear and helplessness she endured in those awful minutes in the pod, compounded by the surreal horror of watching the Captain walk calmly to his death.

Leaning against the railing surrounding the holotank, she looked down for a moment, smiling very softly, and said, "I don't know if that was skill or luck, in the end." She paused, then hmmmmed.

"No, LIEUTENANT." Traynor said to herself, still getting a small thrill from emphasising her recent commissioned rank " I would most definitely say that was skill. You are...a veritable communications Goddess. And a damned sexy one at that."

"Why thank, you, Lieutenant Traynor."

"Think nothing of it. And no doubt, some day, you'll find a woman who will just...literally melt into a puddle of lovestruck goo when you chat her up about your dominating command of communications technology, your breathtaking chess tournament wins and...and...something about dogs!"

Someone in the darkness cleared their throat, and then drawled "Would you two ladies like to be alone?"

Traynor jumped, giving a bit of a startled yelp and turned on her heel, holding up her flashlight.

"Oh! Commander! You...you gave me quite a start there. I'm..I'm sorry I was...I was just celebrating the successful completion of repairs to the QEC." She stepped to the side and held out her arms, like a game show hostess presenting the grand prize.

Gomez stepped up, nodding and smiling lightly "That's...that is fantastic work, Lieutenant. Thank you."

Traynor blushed slightly, "Thank you..thank you, Sir. It was nothing really. Well...no. Actually, it WAS something. A lot of something...but. Um...anyhow, just doing my job!"

He clapped her on the shoulder affably, "Tell you what, Samantha...why don't you get a hot drink and a bite to eat in the mess, and then see if the Engineering team could use a hand patching up some of those microfracture. I need to make a call."

Traynor nodded "Yes...thank you...Sir." She saluted, and headed out. It was clear that the Commander wanted privacy, and she had no intention of hanging around any longer, not when she had just been given leave to take a break.

_God...I could sooooo use a shower, too. I wonder if Holly would let me borrow hers...no! No Samantha. You stay away from that line of thinking right now..._

Once Traynor was out of the old War Room, Gomez inspected the chamber, taking pains to ensure that he was truly alone. After closing and sealing the doors, he punched up the controls of the QEC, inputting the priority access code he had been given for this particular assignment.

Minutes later, Fleet Admiral Luis Oritz, a short, balding and somewhat stocky man in his late fifties, with a near-perpetual frown on his face, came into view.

"I can only imagine that all hell has broken loose if you're contacting me in this fashion, Gomez." said with a somewhat threatening tone. "So let's hear it."

"I thought you should know before someone gets wind of the distress buoy, Sir. We've suffered a catastrophic drive failure. The ship is intact, but we're more or less dead in space at the moment."

Luis let his brows raise for a moment, taking a deep, heaving breath, before slowly letting himself deflate.

"I see. Just how bad is it exactly, Commander?"

"Bad enough. From what I've been able to piece together, there was some sort of smaller discharge in the beginning, one that knocked out the VI responsible for balancing and calibrating the fields, Smalls had to do it by hand...at least long enough for everyone to make it to the pods. He finally lost control, and the accumulated charge tore through the ship. Fortunately, the extra VFE shielding units kept life support and backup power from being knocked out, so we're...okay for now. As long as we don't have to wait more than a week or two for rescue, I think we should be fine."

Luis nodded faintly. "Smalls is dead then?"

Gomez nodded once.

"Damn...damn! That man was...tough to work with, but he was a genius in his own right. It will be hard to replace him as an asset." Ortiz paused for a moment, and then frowned deeper "I'm assuming that the Captain is...indisposed, if you are at liberty to make this transmission right now?"

"Uhuru is dead, Sir. He managed to rescue some trapped Engineers, and then...laid down his life, to prevent any more casualties. Honestly, it's a miracle we only lost him and Smalls."

Luis nodded again, much more vigorously. "A shame, a damn shame. Benyamin was not exactly...happy, with what was asked of him, but he followed orders. He could be loyal to a fault."

"It's a shame we weren't able to bring him in all the way on the Project, Sir."

"Hmmmm...yes...but the fewer people involved, the better. Having you assigned to him was good enough, for our purposes."

"I...I suppose so, Admiral."

Ortiz suddenly growled, giving out a hard sigh before asking. "Shepard. Is that woman still on board?" He spoke the name with barely concealed contempt.

"Yes, Sir. She's been quite helpful, actually, coordinating the repair efforts while taking pains not to...ah...steal my thunder, so to speak. Plus she had a smaller ship of her own, and while we won't know for a couple more hours, we think it should be spaceworthy. I'm actually glad Traynor got the QEC online first, or else we would have been stuck with using her comm system instead. That would have made getting this report to you much more complicated."

Ortiz began to pace a bit, rubbing a fist in one meaty palm. "Has she...has she been asking any pointed questions? Specifically about the core technology? Has she indicated that she...knows...ANYTHING about it?"

"Not really, Sir. Not beyond what anyone else on the outside might be curious about. She's was respectful about the limits we placed on her, never once tried to get into Engineering past the guards. I think she's mostly focused on getting back to Earth...although she did ask some questions about the AI. It's...like they're friends or something, I suppose..."

Ortiz rolled his eyes "To hell with that goddamn AI! As long as Shepard doesn't suspect the source of our new...improvements, that's all that matters."

"Sir, do you really think she's that much of a risk? She was in pretty bad shape at the time she would have had the ability to access the memory core..."

"We can't take any chances, Commander! Clearly, we need to go back to the drawing board, with the VFE and core overdrive technologies...but knowing Shepard, she may likely start sniffing around the damn Engine Room after a catastrophe like this. It's going to be difficult enough to keep any investigation of this appropriately...contained...without the former Commanding Officer of the _Normandy _deciding to take a personal interest."

Luis paused for a moment, glancing over at some unseen, off screen display, and then turned back to Gomez "Suffice it to say, I want her off the _Normandy_ A-SAP. Make it an order, if you have to. Hell, tell her Hackett is making it an order, it's not far from the truth, man's desperate to put her into play right now."

"Alright. She probably won't like it, but I'll make sure she understands. Don't think I'll have too much trouble."

"Good man. We've had a setback...but rest assured Joe, this technology we're developing, the work we're doing now, is going to ensure Human superiority for years...maybe decades. We've made some tremendous advancements; now's the time to start protecting what we've won."

"Yes Sir. Would you like me to update you? Perhaps give you a sit-rep once Shepard is off?"

"Mmmm...yes, good idea. We need to make sure the Engineering team is contained, as well. Again, good work so far. I'll ah...make sure the _Normandy _is yours...if you want her?" Oritz spoke with an oily smile.

"Thank you Sir, but with all due respect, it doesn't seem right, not the way it happened. But I'm more than happy to stay on as XO for whomever takes over. Perhaps you'll get a chance to get one of your own men in the position?"

Ortiz stroked his chin in thought, and then nodded "Good point. Yes...this may be an opportunity after all. Anyhow, I'll get a rescue team out to you immediately. Keep me posted. Ortiz out."

* * *

"Wow...that desperate to get me back to Earth, huh?"

Shepard wiped the sweat off her brow, face and arms smeared with grease and sealant. She had just spent the better part of the day patching up fractures and reconnecting or otherwise rerouting circuits. Her hair had been bound into a ponytail, as the lack of gravity had made it otherwise impossible to deal with, and she was carefully drinking water through a plastic sippy cup as she reacted to the news that Gomez had brought her.

He gave something of a shrug and a sheepish smile."Truth be told, Colonel, as much as I appreciate all the help you've been, there is one hell of a cavalry on the way now, and they are going to get here long before we have to start worrying about food or power. And we're close enough that it should only take you two or three days at best speed to make the rest of the trip yourself."

Holly frowned; despite how painfully obvious it had been made to her over the past week that this was no longer her ship, no longer the _Normandy_ she loved, she had to fight an almost instinctual desire to see this through to the bitter end, to stay until she saw her being brought into drydock at last. On the other hand, the quicker she got this whole mess over with back on Earth, the quicker she could get back to Thessia, kick back on the beach with a flame-grilled ostrich burger in hand and indulge in copious amounts of overdue sexytime with Liara.

Fortunately, Mandala and the rest of the _Modesty Blaise_'s systems booted back up without incident, and it took barely five hours to repair what superficial damage had been caused, so she could leave...pretty much at any time.

"Right. Okay then. I'll start making my goodbyes...Oh! Before I go though...um...and don't think to take this as me telling you how to run your ship, but I'd like permission to take Kurkoski back with me. She's...not doing so hot, mentally, and I think it might do her some good to get off the ship as soon as possible.

Gomez sighed hard; the look on his face was sympathetic, and his rubbed his chin in thought for a moment before speaking, "Colonel, that's admirable you're thinking of her, and under normal circumstances, you'd have my blessing...but...Tatiana is still a member of a team associated with a top secret project...and..."

Holly held up her hands "Okay...alright. Yes...I get it. The brass would be unhappy enough she left, but going with me, someone from an outside military, no longer with the SAAF...I see the writing on the wall here."

Gomez nodded "Don't take it too hard, or too personal, Shepard. There's a reason folks like you and me aren't politicians. Anyhow, I've seen it, too. I'll make sure she gets light duty at best, and...we'll make sure she gets whatever help she needs."

Holly nodded, mollified for the moment.

"Yeah...well...I tell you what, can I borrow Joker, then? I can't imagine you're going to need him to fly the ship from the sound of it, and I know any prolonged period in zero-gee isn't going to do wonders for his Vrolik syndrome; bones barely have enough density on their own as it is."

Gomez hummed, low in his throat, as he thought it over, then nodded amiably. "Deal. Boy's been champing at the bit to fly that fancy bucket of yours anyhow, I reckon. Sure..."

"Well...alright then. Let me get cleaned up, say a few goodbyes, and then I'll scoot my butt off. Just let me know if there's anything more I can do for you before I go."

"I surely will, Colonel. And ah...for whatever it's worth? Give'm Hell back home, would you? I'd like to have a less crazy Earth to come back to."

Holly snorted softly, bemused. "Yeah...don't worry. Something tells me Hackett's got a plan of his own as well. I'll just point the charm and smoulder where they tell me to." She paused, before adding "Anyhow...you take care of yourself, Joseph. Sorry we had to part under such a dark cloud."

"Yeah well...I think the Captain would have been proud to see how hard everyone's been working to get the_ Normandy_ repaired sooo...anyhow, see ya 'round, Shepard."

They saluted each other, before shaking hands, and heading off in different directions.

* * *

Joker and EDI hovered slightly in the air, together in her chamber. He had just told her that he was accompanying Shepard back to Earth.

"She's got a point...God knows it's nice floating around and stuff right now, but give it enough time, my bones are likely to snap from people looking at me the wrong way. But once I get Shepard back to Earth, I'm going to jump on the next transport I can grab and make my way back here...back to you..."

EDI nodded slowly, but said nothing. Jeff narrowed his eyes, looking her over. As time went on, she had picked up an increasing amount of "unconscious body language"; while it was an exciting development in her growth as a sentient being, it pained him to see that something was clearly upsetting her, above and beyond the ongoing problems of their current situation.

He pulled her closer, moving slowly to keep them from drifting off wildly towards the wall. "Baby...what's up? I can see something's...really bothering you."

EDI stared silently at him, for almost a good minute, before speaking, "I have become aware of some...frightening emotions and thoughts, with regards to the the events of the past couple of days. While I am obviously upset and saddened by the death of Captain Uhuru and Chief Smalls...I find there is a conflicting emotional subroutine that has emerged that I can not...reconcile."

Jeff widened his eyes in care and concern. Part of him wished that Shepard was here; she was always so much better at playing the Wise Old Momma as EDI grew as an individual; on the other hand, the job as...as boyfriend more or less demanded that he find a way to comfort her, to the best of his abilities.

"I'm listening, baby. So what is this...feeling, then?"

"I believe you might call it...anger. Only it is more a sense of...perhaps 'righteous vindication'. While they did not give the orders, and in his own way Captain Uhuru was beginning to loosen some of the restrictions placed upon me, a part of me can't help but feel that they...deserved their fates. And then, at the same time, I feel that they either...they should not have been the ones to die, or perhaps not the _only_ ones to...pay. For what they have done to me. The _Normandy_ is my body; I was born into it. And they have taken it away from me, violated it!"

Joker's jaw dropped open a bit, not sure what to say at first. There was some actual emotion in the tone of her voice, at the very end of her last sentence.

"Jeff, I am...I believe I am frightened. I do not wish to harm anyone, and yet, I have these feelings..."

He drew her close against him, holding her tight, and said "EDI...what you're talking about...it's...it's only natural. Like...it's natural for us Humans to want to instinctively lash out, you know? When we think someone's hurting us, or doing something to screw around with us... It doesn't mean we really WANT to act on those...ah..those impulses. Or that we have to. Fact is, I'd say the thing that really defines a Human..or hell, anyone who can think and feel...is being able to NOT act on them."

"I...I see. But how do you differentiate between strong emotions and impulses that you should act on, and those that you should not."

"Well..ah...well experience, I guess? I mean, what's keeping you from right this second turning into EDI the Terminatrix, charging through the hallways saying "Crush! Kill! Destroy the humans!" His voice took on a robotic drone at the end.

EDI finally smiled, softly, but only for a moment at this, "It is...I have made a choice to not kill, unless absolutely necessary. And I...am guided by how my actions would be percieved by others, those that I care about. Such as Colonel Shepard, and...you. Your happiness is one of the primary objectives of my core programming now, and suffice it to say, I do not think you would be pleased, if I suddenly...acted violently and rashly.

Jeff tilted his head. "I don't know...watching you charge your way into the SA Parliament House, and kick ass until they finally acknowledged your rights as a sentient being? Honestly babe, I'm just a little bit turned on at the moment."

EDI tilted her head and gave him a quizzical look. "Surely that was a joke."

He pinched his fingers a bit, and smiled "Yes. But only juuust a little bit."

She smiled again, fully this time, and gently hugged him back. "Thank you, Jeff. I...do believe I am feeling more...centered, once again."

"Yeah well, what's a boyfriend/meatbag love slave for, right?"

"Jeff...I love you."

Joker swallowed hard. He leaned in, giving EDI a kiss. He was still getting used to the sensation, warm flesh on cool metal, but found that his feelings for her were enough to bridge the gap.

"I love you too, EDI. And...maybe I should tell Shepard to get another pilot? I can stay here with you, the whole time."

"No. You go. I am aware of how much you have been looking forward to flying her ship. However, I have made it clear to Mandala that you are, to put it forcefully, "my man", and that she is not to get any ideas."

Joker started to laugh...

"That was not a joke."

Still, she smiled.

"Baby, takes more than some cheap floozy VI to turn my head. And...don't worry. Shepard is working on a plan... you know?" He put his finger up to his lips. "We'll talk more about it, later on. So just...just try and hang on for now, the best you can?"

"I will...endure. For now. For the both of us."

"Alright. Well, I don't have to leave for another hour so..."

They spent the better part of that time simply floating in each others arms.

* * *

Shepard made her way towards her ship, Joker having already run ahead to conduct preflight checks and preparations. While she wanted to do him a favor, and give herself a chance to conspire with him away from prying ears and eyes, she also had a feeling that if anyone could get every last possible ounce of speed out of the engines, it was going to be the best pilot in the damn Systems Alliance fleet.

Traynor was there, clearly hanging about, holding onto one of the gangplank struts for support. She smiled and softly spoke "So I heard they've kicking you off this ship of damned souls."

"Yeah, I guess two gorgeous and awesome women on the same ship was too much for the universe to handle so...I leave the _Normandy_ in your good hands, m'lady."

Traynor laughed lightly, but the sadness in her eyes spoke volumes.

Holly asked softly, "What's...what's got you so down?"

"Oh...I...uh. I..." Samantha stammered, and then the rest of her words tumbled out quickly, "I just never thought there'd be a day where I was so happy to get off this ship."

Shepard seemed stunned for a moment.

"I'm sorry. Was that too...mean? It's just...just nerves and exhaustion talking, and..."

"No" Holly quietly broke in, "It's okay. Because you're right. That _Normandy_ of ours...it lived a long time ago, and now...it's only lives in the past. And...in our memories. So yeah you...you get out of here. Soon as you can. When you get to Thessia, you let Liara and I know, so we'll do dinner."

Traynor nodded, looking relieved. They hugged, and Holly couldn't help but note that while the shared contact brought on a bit of that thrill, in the pit of her stomach, and lower...the worst of tension stretched between them was gone at last.

"See ya, Traynor."

"Yeah. I'll...see you soon."

Holly turned, and walked into the _Modesty Blaise_, smoothly dealing with the lurching transition from zero-gee to artificial gravity. A few minutes later, they departed, and made the jump to FTL as soon as it was safe to do so.

Holly didn't want to look behind her. She didn't want her last memory of the _Normandy_ to be the ship hanging half dead, adrift in the blackness of space. Whatever was back there now...it wasn't hers. The only attachment she had to it now, save the ones in her heart and memory, was EDI.

"Hell of a thing, huh? This crazy, barely working tech they decided to try out."

"Yeah...Guess so. Wish they found some other damn ship to inflict it on."

"I hear ya, Colonel but..ah...you know. Now that we're off, and I don't have to worry about being listened in on...I thought you should know: been a lot of weird rumors lately, with regards to where the VFE tech, and some other projects that are supposedly in the works are coming from. Maybe the SA pulled an Asari, and dug up a Prothean beacon of their own?"

Jeff was one of the few people aware of what had happened in the Temple of Athame on Thessia, during the War. Holly had to hand it to the Asari, they had managed to contain the truth of the matter expertly, and as far as she knew, they still were not publicly acknowledging their Prothean-influenced origins.

Shepard thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. "No. I don't think so."

"Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?"

"I don't know. Hard to say. This technology doesn't...doesn't...FEEL Prothean."

"Really, Holly? That's the best answer you can come up with?"

"No, really. I'm serious. Remember, I have a sense for this sort of thing, what with my own exposure to Prothean technology. Plus, we can always ask Javik about it. I'll admit though...and I didn't realize this until you got me thinking about it, but there IS something vaguely...reminiscent...familiar about it."

Joker blinked, glancing over Shepard. "Ohhhh really now? Like what? Is it something cool? Is it something you couldn't tell me on the ship?"

She gave a light chuckle and shook her head "I don't know. Seriously. I can't put my finger on it. It's like a half-remembered song in an old dream. Maybe I'm just...trying too hard to make some sort of connection out of nothing at all."

Joker made a low humming in his throat, as if he didn't believe that for a moment.

"Anyhow, I'm going for a snack. You want something? Beer or..."

"Yeah, fuck you Holly. Never taking a beer from you again." He smiled at his own ornery grin, reflected in the front glass.

Holly fiddled with the bottle in her hands, as she sat down at the small table in the galley. There was a lot going on in her head at the moment, and she once again, for as many times as there were hours in the week, desperately wished Liara was at her side, to hear her out.

"Hey...Mandy?"

"Yes, Colonel?"

"Take a letter, will you?"

"Recording now. You may proceed."

Holly gave a deep sigh, kicked up her feet onto the table as she leaned back, and started her dictation.

"My Dearest Liara..."


	25. The Old Razzle Dazzle

**A/N: **Admittedly, this was a rather complicated chapter to write. Once again, I want to heartily thank **Caracal22**, who came back to beta for me even though her time commitments have shot up through the roof. If you aren't reading her 22 Sinchi, then you should stop right now and do that first; I promise bacon waits for you at the end! Okay, well maybe not...but you'll never now until you do it. ;-) But seriously, she's massive wicked tops, and I'm tremendously fortunate to have her willing to do such amazing work on my behalf. I can easily say without her, I might have given up on even trying this chapter.

I want to take a moment to talk about one character in particular: Diana Allers. The ever-controversial Diana Cho..er..sorry..Allers. I needed a rather...ruthless media figure to head up this part of the story, and Allers was the most likely candidate. If it seems I've taken significant liberties with her as a character, to the point where she comes off rather different from the person she is in ME3 well...that's because I have, more or less. Earning the AU in the story description, this time around. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy what I've done, regardless.

Oh! And I'm pretty jazzed to be writing the next chapter, as I finally get to have Liara and Shepard together again! Whew! I haven't done that in...weeks! Months even!

* * *

"'Reality' is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes."

Taking a drag from her electronic cigarette, and then letting the resultant vapor spill out from her red-painted lips a few seconds later, Diana Allers smiled to herself.

"I'm sorry Ms. Allers, what was that?"

She sat in her oversized, leather upholstered control chair, almost throne-like in its construction. Before her sat an impressive bank of computer consoles, display monitors, and holographic projectors. In many ways, it was similar to the Shadow Broker layout that Liara had used on the Normandy - indeed, that was where she got the initial idea - only in miniature.

Admiral Hackett was present, standing slightly behind her and looking over her shoulder at the same display that she was studying. The chamber they occupied was darkened, almost to the point where it seemed the entire universe was an empty void, short of the sole island of light, color and activity that bled out from the vast array of monitors.

"Something that my journalism professor always used to say, Admiral, although I believe he was quoting someone else." She took another drag, before turning around to the side, to more fully address him. "'There can never be two skies in the same world'...that was another one he liked to repeat."

Hackett hummed softly. "Now that one I'm not quite sure I catch the meaning of."

Recrossing her legs, she tilted her head, and thought for a moment. "It's like this: back when I was covering the War for Battlespace, reporting the truth was pretty cut and dried. I wanted to tell the story, buuuuut I had to tell...the best version I could get away with. There were elements of propaganda sometimes, sure, but I like to think that morale was kept up, while people got to the actual meat of what was going on. Shepard...being who she is, how she is...also did well enough, made that part of the job easy. And in that way, it was nice. Uncomplicated. Straightforward. Also, dull, but it was good work, all the same. 'Cause more or less, we were all on the same side."

She spun around, back to facing her console anew. "But this political bullshit that's playing out right now? This is red in tooth and claw. This is where we wage total media warfare. And you and I and the people on our side? We're trying to tell everyone that the sky is blue. Westerlund and others like them are trying to convince people it's red. In the end, it doesn't actually matter a damn what color the sky REALLY is; only that we convince people it's what how we need them to see it.

She paused, swapping out the cartridges in her vaporizer, before continuing.

"On top of that, we can't allow ourselves the luxury of "compromising" with the other side or "respecting their equally valid viewpoint" either. There ARE no other "equally valid viewpoints" in a battle like this, Admiral. Either the sky is blue, or you are a fucking moron who needs to change their mind. We destroy them in the battlefield of public trust and perception, or they crush us. No other way this ends."

She punctuated the end of her explanation with a fresh drag mumbling around the exhalation of nicotine-laden vapor "And thus: 'There can never be two skies in the same world.'"

Hackett clasped his hands behind his back and narrowed his eyes. "Well...sure seems you have a rather...jaded view and opinions of the Fourth Estate, Ms. Allers, all things considered. On the other hand, I can't say I disagree with any of it. And I'm beginning to see why you've been so effective in managing our...media strategy...as it were. The blows you've managed to strike against Westerlund with your current news program have been damn helpful, along with other social media campaigns that I'm told you're behind, even if that isn't publicly or officially acknowledged." He smiled for a moment, "I just hope that you appreciate the considerable strings I've had to pull to get you the resources that you currently enjoy, especially tonight."

She smirked, her reflection in the screens regarding Hackett "Yeah yeah, I get the message Admiral: Toys and Money Equals Expectation Of Solid Results. Trust me...with all this extra bandwidth you've secured for me tonight, and the experts I'm bringing in to help out? I'm expecting something fucking magical to happen. And speaking of which...!"

She punched a couple of buttons. "Sombra! Are you reading me?"

There was a pause, as a smaller green screen suddenly came to life to the right of Diana's main display, with the word "SOMBRA" and an old style oscilloscope effect playing across voice was male, with a warped, flanging effect: It was hard to tell if the person behind it was Drell or Turian, or if it was just purely a function of some sort of voice masking

"I'm here, Ms. Allers, and looking very forward to what reaction Shepard's imminent arrival brings."

Allers grinned "Cool. Hey Madame B, are you with us as well?"

To the left of the main display, a blue panel illuminated, with a similar visual display as it's twin on the right; only the label read "MADAME BUTTERFLY." The voice was female, but similarly distorted.

"I am indeed, Diana. And hello Steven, I believe I heard your voice back there as well."

"Do I know you, Ma'am?"

"That...would be telling, dear."

Diana rubbed her hands together gleefully, like a kid in a candy store. "Annnnnnd...Vid Vicious...you finally get your fucking ass out of bed?"

A third panel, just above Diana's main readout, lit up red. The voice behind it was distinctly male, less distorted, with a heavy lower-class British accent.

"Oi. Still time for me to nip out and pick meself up a vindaloo, or wot?"

"No asshole, her ship is about to land any second. I'm patching you through to the G-SPAN feed. I need you to start trying to jump through and pull in any other feeds we can use. I'm expecting Westerlund to put Al-Jilani out there. They're getting increasingly desperate...and if I know their MO, which I do by the way, they're going to want to try and knock Shepard off balance from the start, and then keep it that way; a quick, hard, vicious blow. So if we can beat them to the punch, we can knock her off the playing field, the better. And with a little luck, maybe she'll make a mistake and our first push against her will be our last: short, bloody, and overwhelming. I'm not going to lie, a good chunk of the opening move is going to depend on what Shepard can do."

Hackett took a deep breath, and hmmmed through his nostrils, before speaking, "You'd have made a hell of a warhorse in the military. Can't say I saw this ruthless side in you last year."

She smiled very brightly at this. "Personal growth is a fantastic thing; hope you aren't having regrets working with me now, Admiral?"

"Oh no. Nothing of the sort."

"Good...'cause this late in the game, you can't shake the devil's hand, and say you're only kidding. Oh! And hey, we're on."

* * *

_In the predawn hours of the night, Cape Canaveral is cloaked in a velvet blanket of darkness, arrays of LED lighting cutting hard and clean through it. The constant summer breeze blows, warm, salty and wet. _

_One light in the night sky starts off as a small pinprick, before quickly growing; over the next few minutes, it finally resolves itself into a small ship of obviously Asari design, coming to land in one of the outdoor landing pads. Crowded around the ramp leading down from the flat docking surface, a large throng of reporters is barely held back in check by the SAAF military police standing silent vigil._

_The whine of the ships mass effect systems slowly dies out, a soft hiss of escaping gases. It would be a good few minutes before Shepard finally emerges, proudly dressed in her Asari Commando leathers, but with her N7 hoodie pulled up over it. It makes for an odd, almost jarring contrast. Yet at the same time, it's so very Shepard. She's not afraid to show that she's proud to be in the Asari military now, but she also wraps her Terran military heritage around like a worn, old friend. _

_Diana thinks to herself, as she watches this all play out on her screen "Damn...either she's better than I thought at this whole public image thing...or someone's coaching her. That, or she's just naturally that GOOD."_

_Normally she wouldn't believe that someone could be so charmed in life; on the other hand, this IS Holliandra Shepard, and one doesn't do what she's done without some sort of cosmic, divine force being completely crushed out on her._

_Holly walks down the ramp, ignoring the flashing lights of image capture devices, and the shouted questions. She simply salutes each of the soldiers standing guard, shakes their hands, and seemingly inquires as to how they're doing. Another officer in dress uniform steps up, shakes hands with Shepard, and starts to lead her through the media gauntlet. _

_The questions fly fast and furious:_

_"Shepard! Is it true that the Normandy was nearly destroyed? Did you abandon it simply to come here?"_

_The media officer fields this instantly "I can assure you that while the Normandy did suffer from a systems failure, the nature of which we are still investigating, Colonel Shepard was a great help in assisting with initial repairs of the ship, before she came back ahead at our request."_

_Holly chimes in, the officer barely wincing as she does. "A bunch of great people there, so don't worry. They're going to bring the Normandy home. I wish I could be there when it happens but..." _

_She affably shrugs._

_"Colonel, any truth to the rumor that you've come to try and run for political office?"_

_She snorts with amusement, "You must have mistaken me for my evil twin." prompting a round of laughter. "I'm happy to stay away from that kind of thing."_

_"Holly! Who do you think will win the Biotiball Galactic Series this year?"_

_"To be honest, I hope it's whatever team I bet money on."._

_The media officer gently directs Holly to wave and smile for the bank of approved news photographers to one side. Despite herself, she can't help but ham it up playfully, just a bit, still smiling brightly._

Diana's smile nearly matched. She canted her head in Hackett's direction. "Damn. She's always been good, but now she's better than I remember, Admiral. If I didn't know better, I'd swear someone gave her coaching before this."

Hackett laid a hand on the back of Allers' chair. "I think you'll find that once she realizes the stakes involved, and has a little time to prep herself, Shepard can give'em the old razzle dazzle as well as anyone. With that said, however, she and I and a small handful of others might have plotted a few things out in advance."

Diana darkened slightly as she peered at her screen, "Yeah? Well, she's gonna need it all in a moment. Here comes Westerlund's prize bitch." indicating Khalisah al-Jilani walking up, with a haughty look on her face.

Hackett tensed for a moment "I hope you know what you're doing, asking me to have her granted media credentials for this event. My natural inclination is to keep her as far away from Shepard as possible right now. If just because of their history together..."

Allers smirked "Trust me, Admiral. I know a few years ago, Shepard had a lousy rapport with...certain members of the media, but the woman I interviewed during the War? She's learned a thing or two about how to deal with people. I realize I'm playing with fire here, but I'm willing to bet WE won't be the ones getting burned. Plus...if you cut Westerlund out of this from the beginning, it gives them a victim card to play. We need to beat them in our own house."

"Oi, Di." came the voice of Vid Vicious. "You catch th' cam'ra from Second Star? S'pointin' right at that lil bint."

"Oh God, Double-V, please tell me you've tapped their feed already!".

"Wot? Don' be ridiculous. 'Course I have. Hacked inta all their viddy feeds not ten minutes ago." There was a slight pause, "Oh. Right. Ought'a forward that over."

Most of the blank monitors facing Allers and Hackett began to light up with the raw feeds from all of the media organizations currently covering the event.

Allers looked over her shoulder, addressing Hackett, "Khalisah's been having trouble lately keeping her expression neutral when she's interviewing people...probably under a lot of pressure from the bosses. Hoping we can use that, if the right situation presents itself.

Hackett rubbed his chin, "Seems like you're capturing a lot of data just for hopes and prayers. I thought you would be...I don't know...doing more FOR Shepard, in the here and now. Given that you've put her in a tank with a rather bloodthirsty shark."

Diana grinned, shaking her head slightly. "You have to dig up a lot of dirt if you hope to hit diamonds. And people don't remember the news today. They remember what they see over the next week. Assuming she doesn't totally blow it somehow, which I KNOW she won't, we can always polish and gloss...at least to some extent."

_Finally, al-Jilani made her way over. There is a slight pause, a tension in the air; it's no secret that she and Shepard have never been on what one would consider 'good terms'. More so lately, with Khalisah having made it her mission to 'take down' Holliandra._

"_Welcome to Earth, Colonel Shepard." she says, her opening words a cutting first strike, designed to plant the notion that somehow, the other woman is not actually "of this planet" any longer, if she ever was to begin with. "Khalisah al-Jilani, Westerlund News Service."_

_The media officer does his best to try and divert Shepard away, close as they are now to the transport. Clearly, the last thing he wants to risk is these two rivals having a chance to mix it up again. He tries to deflect Khalisah with a "No Comment" and move on, but Shepard manages to jump ahead of him._

_She calmly, almost playful smiles and waves. "Hey babe, great as always, to see you again."_

_Khalisah frowns at the the diminutive Shepard assigns her, then remembers to try and keep her expression neutral. "I couldn't help but notice that your alien...mate...is conspicuously absent. Can I ask why? Do you think Humans have such short memories that we'll have forgotten that you turned your back on Earth to run off with the daughter of a known ally of the Reapers? Do you think you can just waltz on back, turn on the 'aw-shucks' charm, and play us for fools? Or perhaps...you're simply ashamed of her?"_

_There's a chill in the air, and clearly the military rep is regretting giving her credentials for this event._

_She smiles, despite herself, a vile thing loaded with venom._

_Shepard was clearly caught off guard by the line of interrogation, blinking, her easygoing demeanor falling away. The media officer tries to guide her along, but Shepard holds up a hand, shaking her head. It's clear she wants to answer this._

Diana was holding her breath, despite herself. This was where the dice were rolled. This is where she had to trust that Shepard could fly on her own, if just for a few, nerve-wracking seconds.

_Give me something...give me ANYTHING I can use to make you look good, or her look terrible. Preferably both!_

Sombra suddenly cut in, giving a soft chuckle, "Give it a moment, everyone. I suspect she'll surprise you. I do not believe this is a subject that Khalisah should have brought up."

Madame Butterfly spoke next, "Clearly, al-Jilani isn't aware of Liara's current condition...I agree, she may have just blundered, if Shepard can parry effectively."

_Holliandra frowns, taking a deep breath. She steps up to Khalisah, causing the other woman to flinch, just a small bit. Shepard finally speaks._

"_No...I'm not ashamed, Khalisah. I don't see why anyone should ever be ashamed of love. There are plenty of Earth men and women in committed relationships with Asari, Turians, and others. And the truth is..." she paused, pursing her lips and looking down for a moment, clearly torn. After a few seconds more, she finally looks up, having come to a decision. "The truth is that my wife...is pregnant. We ah...we got an early start on a family, I guess you could say." _

_She smiles brightly now, reaching over to rub the back of her neck and head. There is a swell of murmuring, followed by a few more picture flashes._

"_And uh...the thing is...well, I guess you've dragged out what should be private" Shepard glares at her now, but only just, "...but there's a complication.. Her health isn't...ah...well it isn't great. I miss the hell out of her, and I know she misses me just as much. She'd be here if she could, but...she knows it's important that I be here, right here, right now, back home on Earth. But I...ah...I'd like to say something to all you folks out there, the ones watching I mean."_

_Shepard turns around starting to wave at the various cameras._

"_If you all could maybe...you know...spare a kind thought or prayer for her tonight, her and our daughter. I know we'd both appreciate it. Now if you'll please excuse me...it's been a long trip, and I'd really like to get some sleep."_

_Holly finally departs. The questions continue however, their intensity and the frequency of flashbulbs suddenly ratcheting up in intensity at the revelation made. The media officer gives cover to her, working to answer any follow-ups._

Hackett looked inordinately pleased with himself.

Diana leaned back, beaming now. "Wow-how. I seriously had no idea Liara was in...wait, is she really in bad shape, or was that a ploy?"

Madame Butterfly was the first to speak: "I'm afraid it's true. An Asari medical condition known as _keppakefex_; attempting to reproduce at too young an age.

"Oh my God that is so...so touching!" Diana suddenly punched her fist in the air "They are going to eat that shit up when I do my show tonight!"

Vicious noted, "An' where you lookin' at her face while Shepard was talkin'. Like she wanted to bite her head off, she did."

Diana rewound the recorded footage, and focused on various cuts of Khalisah, zooming in on different expressions. After a few seconds of studying, she called out in triumph, "Yes. Yes yes yes...she...was pissed! Vid, you take that, and you...you do that thing...that you do. You know...with the memes? Some kind of compare and contrast piece of fluff, Khalisah the scowling bitch verses Shepard, choked up with heartfelt emotion. But make it look spontaneous and all that."

"Think Sombra went an' beat me to it. Nice job B-T-W."

"Yes, I believe if you check ExoNet right now, graphics appropriate to the reaction we hope to elicit are already trending. I have a VI that specializes in just this sort of thing."

Madame Butterfly spoke next "Interesting development on that front, actually. T'Soni called in to the Asari Government only a few hours back, and requested that they fly her to Earth in the _Destiny Ascension_, specifically so she could come be with her bondmate."

Diana began to bounce in her chair slightly "Oh God oh God...Madame B, do...do you think there is...ANY way someone could convince Liara to keep it under wraps...like...seriously. Can we work it so that it is a total surprise to Shepard?

"Ah...I suppose that could be arranged, yes. But I'm not sure why...?"

"Are you kidding? Did you see how well Shepard played off on that cheap shot from al-Jilanii? That was raw, unscripted perfection. Can you imagine the gold we can spin if we get footage of Shepard, having JUST found out Liara is about to land, and come be with her on Earth? Jesus Christ, you can't BUY that level of heart-twanging emotionality!"

"Not inexpensively, at least.". This from Sombra.

"Well...yes. I suppose I do see your point. I'll see what can be done."

Sombra once again piped up "Allers, I'm sending you footage from my archives. It's something that's been sitting in there for a while, but I think after what we've just witnessed, it's obvious the time has come; releasing it now will give us the largest...I believe the expression is "bang for the buck."

Allers and Hackett glanced over at a smaller display, as Diana punched the video file up. Both their eyes widened over the next minute, as the feed revealed the Westerlund reporter in a rather...compromising and intimate position with an Asari, in what appeared to be one of the Citadels more remote corridors..

"Good lord!" Hackett exclaimed. "And...and we can prove this is authentic?"

"By the Goddess, I certainly can!" It was clear from the tone of her voice that Madame Butterfly was caught off guard, and dismayed by this revelation. "I most definitely know who the Asari that she is being so...cordial with, is. And I am very displeased to find out this video exists! "

Diana took a prolonged drag from her vaporizer, puffing it all out as she spoke in staid tones, "Hey gang? I hate to be the girl who shits on the fun parade here, but: So what? You have her smooching an Asari from...lets see, according to the time stamp here...three years back? What keeps her from making some statement about how that was just a 'pre-War dalliance', and now she's 'Learned from her foolish mistake and is wiser for it.'" Allers punctuated her point by making the appropriate air quotes with her fingers.

Madame Butterfly answered, "The Asari in the video feed is named Falana T'Dano. And not only is she the personal aide to...to the Asari Ambassador...but she also has a daughter. Lovely little thing, about 24 months old, if I remember correctly?"

"Wait...wait...are you suggesting Khalisah...is someone's baby-daddy?"

"Well, there's no genetic test to prove that sort of thing, of course..."

"...but Falana's currently raising the girl herself. And there's been a series of payments made to her through channels, which, if traced back far enough, seem to strongly point to al-Jilani.', Sombra added.

Hackett blinked for a moment, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Really? Is that true?" He couldn't believe the incredible lucky break they seemed to have gotten.

"No. Or rather, it's not true right now, Admiral. Give me about six hours, and it will BECOME true. Assuming that we could get the mother to go along with the appropriate version of events?"

Madame Butterfly paused, as if in consideration, before answering, "I...believe that this can be arranged. It may require some...actual payments to be made as well. I will pick up the check, so to speak, THIS time. Also Diana, I'll be sending you a dossier shortly, right after I confirm a few things with C-Sec. And I'll time it so that an appropriate statement from the Asari Councilor comes out, right before your show airs tonight."

Diana blinked, leaning back in her chair for a moment, "Wait, what? You're going to get her to go up there and say 'A-Yup. That devil woman, she done put a baby in my aide here.''?"

She paused for a moment, then lit up, "Oh! Could you, maybe? That would play really well with some of the more...backwater parts of Earth."

Madame Butterfly refused to dignify that with a response.

"Funny world, in'it. Never'a guessed al-Jilani played..er..rugby, for the other team. Oh! Hold up, me take-away just arrived at the door. Di, talk to you later...have fun on the telly tonight!"

The red screen labeled "VID VICIOUS" suddenly shut off.

"Well, I believe this has been quite the productive meeting then. And Ms. Allers? After that file, we're now even, understood?"

"Sombra! Fuck 'even', I'm gonna send you the biggest damn crate of Pineapple Spam I can lay hands on."

"Mmmmmmmmmm. Most appreciated. Sombra out."

The green screen winked out, into darkness.

"Yes, it seems I have plans to set in motion as well. Good morning, then."

The blue screen quickly joined the others.

A silence hung, trembling and pregnant with the promise of what the next few hours would reveal. Diana finally spoke, cutting through the tension with a knife.

"So. Admiral. Was that good, or was that goooooooood?" she purred out.

"Well...I will admit, we're off to an impressive start, Ms. Allers. But it seems like JUST a start..."

"Yeah...and the best is yet. To. Come. Trust me on this one, Admiral. These folks we're working with? They're some of the best."

"Hmmmm. Well, I'll be in touch. Good luck. I suppose I don't have to tell you to enjoy yourself tonight."

Hackett turned, and exited the control room.

Allers simply leaned back in her chair, luxuriating for the moment in what was to come.

* * *

_FIFTEEN HOURS LATER_

In the small, intimate reporting studio that was set up in her massive condo in Seattle, Washington, Diana Allers checked her makeup in the mirror. She was dressed in a dark business blazer and teal blouse, all essential for projecting the right mix of professional reliability and casual, even sensual relatability.

She glanced up to a tall, statuesque blonde holding up the mirror, hair cut into a swept bob; Jillian Edwards was her makeup artist, personal assistant and as of about four weeks ago, lover.

She then smacked her lips together gently as she regarded herself in the mirror once more, making sure her lipstick had an even coating.

"Tell the truth, Jillian: how do I look?"

The other woman parted her own pink-frosted lips a radiant smile.

"Trustworthy."

It was a nightly ritual they had done since "The Way I See It, With Diana Allers" had started broadcasting a few months ago, as a wholly independent program freely broadcast through the ExoNet. While the generous funding coming in from Hackett and his cadre in the military meant she wasn't required to seek sponsorships anymore, she kept up with it, if just for appearances sake.

Jillian planted a soft kiss on the tip of Diana's nose as she stepped back. It was almost time.

"Try not to enjoy yourself too much, baby."

"Too late." Diana smirked. She then turned to the holographic VI that began flashing a warning, counting down the last few seconds before the opening show graphics finished, and the live feed was cut over to her.

And then finally...

"It's now six pm Pacific time, on this, the third day of August, 2187. Good evening, Seattle. And hello, to the rest of the planet. I'm Diana Allers...thanks for coming by."

A computer generated infographic was superimposed in the broadcast feed right next to her, oh so carefully crafted for maximum effect, a snapshot from Shepard landing in Cape Canaveral just before dawn earlier that day, looking at her absolute, almost angelic best, a casual, warm smile on her face.

Diana faced the camera directly, speaking, calm, even affable "Earth's champion daughter returns at last, a month and a half after Vox Incognitae released the now celebrated "Tiger Mama Tape." Of course, the big question on everyone's lips is "Why the delay? Why did it take her so long to return?"

_It was a drum, one of the few successful ones, that Westerlund was beating. Time to start picking it apart._

Diana raised her hands, becoming animated with them for a few seconds, "Well viewers...that's a fair question. It's an honest one. And you know me, it's my job, my pledge to you, to get to the bottom of these things...to find out for myself, instead of simply accepting what others in the media hand to me, wrapped up and ready for unquestioning consumption...and you know it's something I've always encouraged all of you to do as well."

_Admittedly, encouraging people to think for themselves was risky; the trick was getting them to THINK that they were open-minded, better educated than those who disagreed with them...while at the same time getting those self-same people to believe exactly what she needed them to._

There was a slight shift in the camera angle, as if Diana was turning to another group of watchers, as an aside.

"And what did I find? Well, after significant digging and questioning, I can now tell you exactly what kept Holliandra Shepard so tied up that her immediate return was an impossibility...what situation was so vital that it had to come first, when...certain media sources were all but howling for her instantaneous presence."

"As you all know, Shepard is a Spectre agent, a member of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance office of the Citadel Council. My sources across the Galaxy have confirmed that Shepard was diverted into the very depths of the Terminus Systems to bring a wanted criminal to justice: This man...Bradley Johnson...or as he was more colorfully known to the Galactic underworld, Byron Shelley"

Shelley's picture flashed up in the feed, darkened and given a somewhat grainy finish. Whatever Shelley's foppish reality might have been, to the average viewer at home, a distinct air of menace couldn't help but be discerned from the photo...threatening and sinister without crossing into over-the-top, mustache twirling territory.

"Many of you have probably never heard of Johnson, a man who performed the vast majority of his criminal enterprise deep in the shadows...but I found several people who knew him all too well."

Pictures began to flash up, one by one, as Diana made mention of them. Victims, one and all, of Shelley's dastardly deeds.

_Or at least that was the story. Most of it was true, though, which was the best kind of spin to work with._

"This is Veltak Fom, a Volus trader, and a victim of a protection racket masterminded by Johnson. Tonight, he sleeps knowing that no longer will he be forced to give one more credit to a leech of a man who had no right to the sweat of his labor."

The picture of the unassuming Volus faded away, revealing in its place file footage of a badly wounded Turian.

"This is Pelen Tekorian, a C-Sec agent. A law enforcement official, a man of justice, who nearly paid the ultimate price attempting to break up one of Johnson's smuggling operations on the Citadel. Indeed, it was the story of his brave, ultimately doomed attempt that caught Holly Shepard's attention; after learning what happened, she made the decision to do what few others could: bring Johnson to justice. Tonight, Pelek rests and recovers, secure in the knowledge that his substantial injuries were not received in vain.

_THAT was a lie, of course...but it was the best kind, in that only one person could actually verify it's authenticity. Shepard had been..less than willing to go along with the story, although she promised at the very least to simply refuse commenting on it. As far as Diana was concerned, that was even better...it seemed humbling and self-effacing._

And finally, this is Tabitha Winters, a nineteen year old co-ed from Earth, attending Simon's Rock college in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. She was abducted last year while on Spring Break on Ilium, and forced into a prostitution ring, one that Johnson personally called the shots for."

Diana suddenly leaned forward, stabbing a finger towards the camera, to drive the next point home "Three weeks ago, she was located, liberated, and returned home to her family in Florida, thanks to information that Shepard recovered from Johnson's records after shutting his entire operation on Omega down."

_This was the cherry on top...playing up the aliens who benefited from Shepard's actions simply helped remind viewers that she kept order across the Galaxy. Leaving the most shocking crime for last, and best...it was the Human...something that would drive the point home to the people watching tonight that what kept Shepard away from Earth for so long directly helped Humankind._

"Ms. Winters was kind enough to grant me a short interview last week. Folks, I want you to hear what she had to say to me."

The feed switched over to a thin, attractive woman in her late teens, with auburn hair and tanned complexion. She had a fresh faced appeal without seeming to stick out far too much, someone who looked like they could be any sort of student on any college campus across the Western hemisphere.

_It was Shadow Broker, of course, who had dismantled the slavery ring, but he was more than happy to let someone else take the credit in this case. There were many others who were liberated...even other Humans. But Winters...she had the highest TV-Q. She was ratings mana from Heaven._

_Offscreen, Allers' voice asks, with quiet empathy, "I know you've been through a lot, Tabitha...and I can't even begin to understand what you've endured, over the last year. But do you have anything you'd like to say, for my viewers?"_

_The young woman swallows hard, dabbing at the tears welling up in her eyes. She takes a deep breath, glancing to the side, before looking straight to the camera._

_"I...I hear a lot of people saying a lot of different things, about Commander Shepard. I guess she's a Colonel now, or something? I don't know...but all I know is that...if she hadn't...hadn't stopped that guy that...I would." She trembled, like a sapling in a sudden, stiff breeze._

_Diana softly says, offscreen still. "It's okay..you can stop, if you need..."_

_The other woman interrupts, choking out. "No! No...I just...I just want to say...I'm home now...because Shepard...she stopped this guy...and found the information needed to save me. So all I know is...that Holly Shepard is the woman who saved me. And I want her to know...Thank you...Thank you!."_

_Her voice finally cracks, and she turns away from the camera._

The scene swapped back to Diana with a firm look of heartfelt conviction on her features.

"I know what some of you are thinking, folks. I read the Halifax Free Times, and I hear what Westerlund News has to say; they call me "Shepard's Reporter". They accuse me of losing perspective, objectivity, when it comes to her, but you know what? I don't make any damn apologies for it. And Holly Shepard doesn't need my words to bolster her, when her actions speak far louder."

She paused for a moment, giving a soft, brief chuckle.

"But look, my point? Shepard doesn't belong to us, I mean, not just to Earth, not anymore. And she isn't some mythical creature, like a genie, that we can simply summon at a moment's notice to perform for us. She has duties...she has responsibilities. She is one of Earth's best and brightest, showing exactly HOW Earth's best and brightest help protect the Galaxy. For each and everyone one of us, everywhere."

The feed switches back to the first camera view, and Allers turns again.

"But now, a word from one of tonight's sponsors, Cision Motors, makers of the 2188 Sunbolt XE. 'Cision, All The Power You Need, And More!'

* * *

"And welcome back. In the second part of tonight's broadcast, I'd like to talk about an incident that occurred early this morning at Cape Canaveral, when Holly Shepard finally returned to us. I'll spoil some of it for you right now...it involves Westerlund News in general, and one of their star reporters in specific, Khalisah al-Jilani."

_It was debatable whether al-Jilani was really "The Voice" of Westerlund. The important part was that people watching thought that. It made what was about to happen to her more likely to drag them down as well..._

"Long time viewers of this show will know that I have...taken issue, with how Westerlund and al-Jilani comport themselves, that I personally feel they ride the line between actually reporting the news, and simply stirring up slander and controversy merely for the sake of ratings. And with that in mind, I want to play you a clip right now...it's probably one many of you are already familiar with...and then I want to talk about another video that was released barely six hours ago, something that I hope will bring this into sharper context for you all."

The video broadcast cuts to a scene featuring Khalisah and Shepard's interaction, shortly after landing on Earth. A split screen format is used, Shepard on one side, Khalisah's face on the other, reinforcing already-dominant social media paradigms that the Diana's more "underground" sources helped launch hours ago. It's clear that as Shepard gives her answer, al-Jilani makes little attempt to hide her sneering expressions.

_Shepard walks through the media gauntlet, having stepped off the landing ramp. She is currently being led along by a military media officer specifically assigned to help her cut through as quickly as possible._

_Khalisah steps up, and announces in a rather loud voice:_

"_Welcome to Earth, Colonel Shepard. Khalisah al-Jilani, Westerlund News Service."_

_The media officer tries to shut down whatever is coming before it has a chance to rise up. He tries to deflect Khalisah with a "No Comment" and move on, but Shepard manages to jump ahead of him._

_She calmly, almost playful smiles and waves. "Hey babe, great as always, to see you again."_

"_I couldn't help but notice that your alien...mate...is conspicuously absent. Can I ask why? Do you think Humans have such short memories that we'll have forgotten that you turned your back on Earth to run off with the daughter of a known ally of the Reapers? Do you think you can just waltz on back, turn on the 'aw-shucks' charm, and play us for fools? Or perhaps...you're simply ashamed of her?"_

_Shepard pauses, waving aside the media aide for a moment. Clearly, she wants to answer this one..._

"_No...I'm not ashamed, Khalisah. I don't see why anyone should ever be ashamed of love. There are plenty of Earth men and women in committed relationships with Asari, Turians, and others. And the truth is..." she paused, pursing her lips and looking down for a moment, clearly torn. After a few seconds more, she finally looks up, having come to a decision. "The truth is that my wife...is pregnant. We ah...we got an early start on a family, I guess you could say." _

_She smiles brightly now, reaching over to rub the back of her neck and head. There is a swell of murmuring, followed by a few more picture flashes._

"_And uh...the thing is...well, I guess you've dragged out what should be private" Shepard glares at her now, but only just, "...but there's a complication.. Her health isn't...ah...well it isn't great. I miss the hell out of her, and I know she misses me just as much. She'd be here if she could, but...she knows it's important that I be here, right here, right now, back home on Earth. But I...ah...I'd like to say something to all you folks out there, the ones watching I mean."_

_Shepard turns around starting to wave at the various cameras._

"_If you all could maybe...you know...spare a kind thought or prayer for her tonight, her and our daughter. I know we'd both appreciate it. Now if you'll please excuse me...it's been a long trip, and I'd really like to get some sleep."_

_Holly finally departs. The questions continue however, their intensity and the frequency of camera flashes suddenly ratcheting up in intensity at the revelation made._

The feed turned back to Diana.

"Strong accusations, from one of Shepard's harshest critics. And a warm, heartfelt plea from a wife, and a parent-to-be for good wishes for the health of her partner. So let me be one of...I hope many, who say 'Liara T'Soni...you are in our prayers tonight, and we're wishing you a speedy recovery."

Diana was then silent, for almost a full five seconds...a risky tactic, given how poisonous dead air could be...but she needed the time to look...conflicted.

"Folks, as some of you may or may not know, Vox Incognitae released yet another leaked video, around 12pm local time here in Seattle, out on the ExoNet. I struggled long and hard with whether it was appropriate for me to air it at all, here on this program. While it seems merely titillating on the surface, the story behind it, the real story, is a very disturbing one."

"First, let me assure you that I have spent the better part of the past six hours verifying its authenticity; I wouldn't give it much credence if I couldn't at least do that much. C-Sec did confirm barely two hours ago that the authentication hashes and encryption headers match those used for their video feeds on the Citadel. There's also other corroborating evidence, something I'll go into in a moment. But let me play this for you now, and then say a few things about it. I should warn you though..you may find this shocking, and for that, I do apologize."

The feed switches over to the video: Khalisah sharing an intimate embrace, leaning in to kiss an Asari paramore.

_Diana had used a highly specific "colorwash" filter program, adjusting the reds, blacks and oranges...giving the video a far more instinctive "lurid" feel than it might carry by itself, unvarnished. It never ceased to amaze her, the aspects that can be manipulated to affect public opinion, that most people never even take into account._

Diana sighed heavily, when the feed returned to her. "Feels a bit like a cheap shot, doesn't it folks? I'll admit...I was very uncomfortable with this, and I can not stress enough that I have done what I could to verify that this video was authentic. With that all said, I still very nearly didn't air this at all...but I can reveal to you now that an hour ago, Tevos T'Naori, the Asari Ambassador to the Citadel Council, released a statement about what you all just witnessed."

Glancing over past the camera, she asked "Do we have that ready to go? Yes?"

_Diana was talking to no one, really. The VI did all the work. But making it sound like there was a crew behind her gave it an all-important human touch._

Then turning back to look straight again, she said "Alright then folks: Ambassador T'Naori's statement on this.

_The feed cuts to the Ambassador, standing at a lectern in one of the various function rooms in the Citadel Tower, a placid, yet serious expression on her face. Slightly behind her and to the right, a younger Asari holding a small toddler in her arms stands silently._

"_Hello, and thank you all for coming." she begins. "A few hours ago, a certain group that will remain nameless took it upon themselves to release a clip, dated several years back, from the Citadel's internal security feed. First, let me assure you all that we are taking every possible step to investigate how this grave breach occurred, and will not rest until we have an answer."_

_She takes a soft sigh, shaking her head slightly "However, the damage, it seems, has been done. And I believe that it is best to come forward with the following details; to my right is someone you may now recognize. She is my personal assistant, Falana T'Dano. She is also...the other woman in the video. I'm going to let her deliver a statement now, before I conclude this press conference. Please be aware, I will NOT be taking any questions at this time; a follow-up event will be scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning, local Citadel time, for that purpose."_

_Falana steps up to microphone. She looks nervous, but clearly is doing her best to keep it from so blatantly showing. She bounces the child she was holding slightly, causing her to settle in, and continue napping, head against her shoulder._

"_H...hello. My name is...Falana. And this...this is Seylah. Um...about three years ago, I began a relationship with Khalisah al-Jilani. She was...we..." she broke into a shy smile, "She told me she loved me, and she wanted a family. I was so happy...and we engaged in a reproductive meld. About three months into my pregnancy...I...I don't know what happened. Suddenly, she...changed. She told me that she was mistaken, that she couldn't go through with it. And I was..."_

_She choked back a half-sob, smiling, through her eyes were shining by this point._

"_I don't know if I did something wrong, something to make her want to leave, but...I told her I would let her go. I didn't want any money from her...I just wanted her to be in our daughters life, somehow...but all she wanted was to give me was credits and never hear from me again. I would just...I don't know what else to say...I'm sorry..."_

_She turns away, and finally surrenders to tears, Tevos wrapping her arms around her, and embracing her warmly, whispers something, no doubt reassuring, before letting her be led off by other aides._

_Addressing the crowd once again, Tevos says, "Falana came to me in her hour of need, some time ago, and I had kept her confidence until now. I am speaking today, lending my support, because knowing how these things often develop, there is a chance that...unkind things may be said about her; her and her child. I want to assure you that my aide is a bright, hard-working mother, and the only thing she is more dedicated to than helping me do my best to serve on the Citadel Council is her daughter. And I stand behind her and her story. I would ask that you please respect her privacy at this time. Thank you very much."_

_Tevos turns away, ignoring the questions that are called out, despite her insistence that she would not be taking any. Video capture units flash away as she departs._

Diana sighed once more, looked down, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was silent for another three seconds, before looking straight into the camera.

"Quite a story, huh? I mean, I can't imagine that someone like the Ambassador, the woman who sits on the Citadel Council itself, is going to make something like this up...or that she's going to be so easily mislead. But people, like you...and me? We still need to dig a little deeper, we need to look for proof. So on that note, I spent time putting out calls to my sources, right down 'til almost the last second before we went on the air, trying to find some corroborating evidence. And as you all know, all the links, all the files that I find when I investigate, I put up on my ExoNet site for you to examine as well."

The site link address began to flash underneath her.

And after double checking the evidence of the money trail that Vox Incognitae released as well...I discovered that at least one of the parties involved, in a complex transfer of credits over three separate times in 2184, involve at least one shell holding corporation known to belong to Westerlund News Service. It's not my job to draw conclusions, although" she shook her head and laughed lightly "I've been known to give in to passion on occasion. But look, you make up your own minds, folks."

_Diana had to admit that the forged figures were a masterwork; she nearly believed them herself. And the child? She had no idea if that was really al-Jilani's or not. Probably not...better if it wasn't, it would make her predictably engage in damaging bluster and protest, as she would think that somehow having the truth on her side would be enough._

Allers took a deep, cleansing breath, then smiled softly to the camera once more. "We're gonna take a few calls from some of the audience out there, and my I'll give my final words for the evening, after a message from our second sponsor tonight, Hahne-Kedar Personal Armaments. Hahne-Kedar: Effective. Reliable. Homegrown.

* * *

"And we're back...and with me on the line is...Terence, yes?"

A smaller window-in-window appeared, and a head shot of a young male, somewhere in his late twenties, could be seen. When he spoke, it was with a lower class English accent, speaking quickly, clearly excited to be on.

"Yeah, that's right. Terence Wilson. And first off, just wanna say, love your show Diana, it's brilliant, watch it all the time..."

Diana laughed lightly, almost blushing. "Wow, that's quite a compliment considering it must be...what..2am over there?"

"Yeah yeah, that's right. Don't usually watch it live like this, catch it streaming later on, but since I knew you was going to be talking about Shepard, I had to stay up and watch. And anyhow, that's what I'm calling up about, right? So first, let me say, I was there, in London, you know? Right at the end. I was with the Systems Alliance Planetary Militia, a Corporal, and they had us out there fighting those monsters to the bitter end.

Diana steepled her fingers together, and with a heartfelt look in her eyes, said "And thank you, Terence. Thank you for your service...you're as much a hero as anyone else."

"Ah..ha ha...um...cheers Di, cheers. We were all just trying to do our jobs, do our duty, right? And Shepard was there, Shepard was there right at the front of the line; the last time I saw that woman, like with my own eyes, she was running into the thick of it, with those crazy red laser beams shooting out, people dying, tanks blowing up like they wasn't nothing. But Shepard ran into it, she kept going, like she was bloody Boudica or something. And an hour or two later, the war was over! But...but listen, do you know who else was there? The Krogan...and the Turian...and I think a few of them robot whatsits...Geth, yeah? They were there, because Shepard went out, out to all of them, and told them they damn well needed to get behind her and help her take back Earth."

Diana continued to smile, nodding as she listened.

"They came...don't know what she said to them, but damn right, they came. And I...I got my leg blown off, you see. In the fighting. Not saying to brag, but I want to make a point: I'd be dead, dead out on that field, but one of those crazy, bloody Krogan comes charging down like the Devil himself, smashing into all them...them things. Don't even know if the bastard lived...but you know what? That let the Turians come in, allowed them to pull me and my mates out. I owe 'em my life. I mean look, I'm a simple kinda guy, Diana, right? I don't see an awful lot of aliens, even now, where I live...I'm sure some of 'em out there in space, they're bloody awful. But the Krogans and the Turians? They're damn brilliant. Oh..and the Asari...ha! Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about."

"Hate to rush you Terance, but I can only give you another minute or two."

"Right, so my point..is...where do these Humanis gits...that the party that's telling us how bad Shepard and all the aliens are, right? And that al-Jilani's the worst of the lot too, God what a...well, I'm not gonna say it, not on your programme, you're too classy. So yeah, anyhow, where do they get off, trying to make us think that Shepard hates Earth? That she's like...I don't know..selling us down the river or something? That's lunacy, that is. She's a hero...a damn bloody patriot."

"Twenty seconds, my friend."

"Right right, last bit...I mean, where were they, you know, with all the fighting? Where were they? I'll tell you where, they were out fighting our own damn people with that group, Cerberus? I heard they even tried to blow up the Citadel...that's madness! Anyhow I don't know how these people tearing her down got elected, but maybe it's time to kick them out, make sure that the right proper people get in instead, am I right? Anyhow, love the show, g'bye!

_Hackett had been the one to point Wilson out, as someone who would play along, deliver the words that needed to be spoken, and best of all, actually believe them. It was an easy thing to make sure his call made it on the air tonight._

"Thanks Terence! Definitely something to think about. We've got time for one more call. Brenda, from Ft. Collins, Free Republic of Texas. Hi Brenda."

The picture-in-picture view switched over to an older woman, in her sixties or thereabouts. Clearly born and bred in the Republic, from the sound of her twang as she spoke.

"Well howdy right back to ya, darlin'. I just started watching your show, maybe a couple weeks back? My grandson showed me some of the old episodes...and well...I was watching Westerlund a lot, but now I'm starting to wonder a bit about them."

Diana's eyes sparkled slightly, nodding her head slightly to the side, " I appreciate it! My feeling is that folks should try and see as much as they can, make up their own mind."

"Well...like I said, I've been thinking a lot...about a lot of things. Most of the folks in my church, well, they don't quite approve of the relationship that Holly Shepard is in right now...you know. 'Cause she's with...an alien? Not when there are perfectly good, God-fearin' Human women around. But...gosh, they make such a nice couple too, don't they? And that wedding, Lordy, I swear it was like out of some fairy tale book! Wasn't it nice, Diana?"

"It was fantastic, Brenda. And big!"

Brenda laughed, snorting at the end each time. "It was, oh my, it was. And you know, maybe it was a little...well, it wasn't done in a proper church. You know, before God and all? But it's not my place to judge. The important part, though, is they got married. They made an honest commitment before she got pregnant. That little baby will have two decent parents and all. But...Khalisah...you know Diana, I used to looooove her, her work. Despite the fact she was...you know...a foreigner."

Pronounced like "fer-I-ner"

"But Diana, now tell me...is it really true? I mean, that them Asari can't go getting pregnant unless they really mean to be?"

Diana nodded confidently. "The Asari actually don't have a word in their own language for 'accidental pregnancy.'"

"So that IS true! I told Tammy Faye last week that was the truth! And I hear that they ain't got no abortion clinics neither. Maybe they're aliens...but they're kinda like blue angels, too, bless their hearts. They just need to read the Good Book, and I'm sure they'd stop worshiping pagan idols and turn to Jesus if they did but...they just don't know any better right now.".

Diana laughed kindly while at the same time trying to hide the painful wince coming up on her face. She then said, "I can give you a another minute, Brenda."

"Oh, oh, okay, I'll make it quick: I just want to say I feel so sorry for that girl...who got herself pregnant for Khalisah. And then just got up and dumped, and now she has to raise that precious little baby alone? That's just terrible! And then she, I mean that AL-Jilani woman, has the gall to keep attacking Colonel Shepard, a military VETERAN, who saved this planet from the spawn of the Devil himself...and she married HER woman, and they're gonna have a baby together. I mean, no wonder she went and left the Systems Alliance military, if that's the kind of people we let say nasty things about our soldiers in the military. Hypocrites like that Khalisah...OOOH! It just ain't right, Diana, it just ain't right! God will judge her! God most certainly will judge her."

"Thanks Brenda, any last words?"

"Yeah...I think I'm gonna go and get my knitting group to pray for Mrs Shepard this Sunday...what's her first name, Lianna? That's such a pretty name, like the ivy. Anyhow, thanks for hearing me out. Toodle-oo!"

"Alright...well thank you Brenda, from Ft. Collins. And now...some final words."

_Brenda, Allers would later learn, had been personally call-screened by Jillian herself, who relied on gut instinct in letting her through. She had also managed to wheedle an amazing chocolate chip cookie recipe out of the older woman. It had been a risk, but clearly worthwhile. If they could win the "hicks in the sticks" they'd be absolutely golden._

Allers leaned in slightly, as if sharing a somewhat friendly, intimate moment with the viewer.

"Friends? I hope I can call you friends...lets be honest here, in the end, we're all on the same team really, right? And it's all like Shepard said...Earth's done a hell of a lot to be proud of. And we've achieved a hell of a lot too...but with all that power and achievement comes...responsibility. And to be perfectly honest, it seems that during the last election, the Humanis Party, which, by the way, viewers of my program know is heavily funded by Westerlund, sold us a particular bill of goods. They were swept to power at a time where we were all afraid and reeling from the aftermath of the War. But what have we gotten from them, for placing the sacred responsibility and trust of public service in their hands?"

Allers shifts again, to a third camera feed. "Well, I'll tell you what, at least what I see: A whole lot of nothing. The Systems Alliance Parliament has been essentially crippled, unable to effectively govern, to respond to the needs of all Humans across the Galaxy, because of the constant outrageous and unreasonable demands of the Humanis party. Furthermore, Ambassador Effigenia Armitage, as you viewers well know, has been a constant and enduring embarrassment to all Humans everywhere, clearly out of her element in representing Humanity on the Citadel Council, a seat that precious blood was spilled to secure. And worst of all, Westerlund, the paymaster behind the party, continues to air poisonous and divisive attack programming that seems to bring out the worst in all of us."

"Folks, I don't want to spend too much time preaching here, and you don't need to hear it from me...but I can't help but feel that maybe there's something in the air. That maybe a change is coming...and all I can say about that is that I hope we think long and hard about the direction we want to take, as a species, as a respected and powerful member of the Galactic community. Maybe we goofed. Maybe we acted rashly...but it's not too late to try and make things better."

Allers leans back a bit, raking her fingers through her hair.

"Anyhow...that's just...The Way I See It. Good night folks...and remember...keep digging, keep thinking, keep asking. And as always, you can find the full story-behind-the-story on my ExoNet site. I'm Diana Allers...have a great tomorrow. "

Diana held the gaze, a hopeful, humble expression, waiting for the video feed to finally fade to black. For the VI to start glowing red again, indicating that recording was finally off.

* * *

"Wooo!" Diana spun once in her chair, and then reached under her desk, pulling out a champagne flute.

"Jilly-bean! You best come and Cristal my ass, right now!"

A soft 'glug-glug' noise could heard, as the flute was quickly filled from just over her shoulder. Allers turned and smiled, noting that Jillian already had one of her own. The two clinked glasses, and then took a sip, locking eyes for a moment...which prompted Allers to rise up, and give her a firm but brief kiss.

Jillian smiled, somewhat flustered "You...are in a good mood, hmmm?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I was on God damn fire tonight! Please tell me I was on fire tonight?"

"Do I get a raise if I do?"

"Well, you won't NOT get a raise..."

Jillian snorted, but pulled Allers close, running her thumb over Diana's lower lip tenderly. "You...were on God damn fire, babe."

"I know, right? Hell, I don't even want to spend tonight looking over all the response data. Double V can crunch that shit and give me the highlights in the morning. I wanna go out...have a fantastic meal...and party!"

Jillian brightened considerably. "Shall I start making suggestions?"

"Oh, please!"

"Ummm...San Francisco?"

Allers rolled her eyes, and gave a slight whine "Come oooon! That's like our fucking backyard."

"Paris?"

"Oh! Neat, but...Paris is more of a breakfast place, you know?"

Jillian suddenly snapped her fingers, "I know! Manhattan."

"Yeah! Yeah, Manhattan, and you know where should go?"

"Oniyuri?"

"Fuck yes Oniyuri! I am so in the mood for Asian tonight. You call ahead and get us a table." She gulped down her champagne and slammed the flute back down onto her desk, nearly breaking it.

Jillian wrapped her arms around Diana once more, and murmured close against her ear. "Are you sure you wouldn't just like to order in, instead?"

Diana smiled wickedly, reaching up to stroke the other woman's cheek.

"Nah" she whispered. "I still want to go out. But tell you what, lets make out in the car on the way there."

The two laughed, and walked out to the landing pad on the roof, hand in hand.


	26. Victory Day

**A/N:** Well, it's a little daunting to be flying solo again after a month and a half, but I think I'm better prepared for it now. Anyhow, this kicks off what I hope will be a multi-chapter arc of fluff and smut between Shepard and Liara. Sorely needed at the moment, if you ask me.

So I think I can get one more chapter out...and then I have to A) prepare for a two week trip to Japan, and B) go on a two week trip to Japan. The good news is that with a combined total of 26 hours in the air round trip, there's a very good chance I am going to get a TON of writing out of the way. But it will be a while before I publish again.

As always, please keep those reviews coming! They are always much appreciated!

* * *

With a soft, sharp hiss, the eezo infusion chamber opened, separating into four segments, which pulled back to reveal Liara, laying on the padding inside. She was dressed in a small bikini, allowing for as much eezo to saturate through her pores as possible. Aside from that, she wore a light pair of display goggles, so that she could keep herself occupied during the two hour sessions currently required.

As she emerged from the chamber, she trembled like a leaf in a stiff breeze, as if stricken with palsy. Despite this, she made the labored effort to push herself back up onto her feet.

Aethyta reached out, helping her up, a expression composed of equal parts concern and disapproval burned onto her features. She sighed heavily, gripping Liara by the shoulders, looking her over in silence, holding on to her as if she were afraid something very precious was slipping through her fingers, no matter how hard she tried to hang on.

Despite herself, she suddenly leaned down, hugging Liara tightly, as if the act of enfolding herself around her daughter would somehow spare her the cruel indignities life had currently seen fit to inflict upon her. She leaned further in with her forehead, resting it against the younger Asari's.

Liara in turn hugged her Father back tightly, drawing strength from her affection and concern.

V'Lork cleared her throat, prompting Aethyta to reluctantly pull back and step away to the side. The Doctor then pressed a hypojet against Liara's neck. With a sharp, soft hiss, the injection was made, and the effect on Liara was practically instantaneous; her trembling calmed, disappearing fully within twenty seconds.

"That should help with the initial tremors, as well as settle any uncontrollable physical restlessness caused by the forced stimulation of your nervous system, for the next eight hours; you will, however, have issues with nausea...an unfortunate trade off due to the use of the neohexa-trelnisone

Liara nodded in silence, a sour sensation blossoming in her stomach already. She closed her eyes and allowed Jefela to guide her over onto one of the beds in the _Destiny Ascension'_s medical bay.

Aethyta leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. She murmured, in a somewhat dark tone. "Don't do anything to take that away, Doc. Would do her good for something to remind her what an incredibly stupid thing she's doing.

Doctor V'Lork shook her head, unable to resist cracking a bemused smile. She never anticipated a time, in the decades that she and Aethyta had been at loggerheads, where they would be of one mind with regards to any more of her daughters.

She continued, "There will be some other...unusual side effects. Especially if you happen to meld, although that...will be far less unpleasant."

Liara simply glanced to the side, perfectly still save her eyes, and focused on her Father.

"I would have thought you'd be the first to champion me...Dad. After all, isn't this the sort of headstrong, romantic thing you would do?"

Aethyta gave a single, bitter laugh, "Headstrong is sneaking into the bedroom of a woman whose Mother has absolutely forbidden you from seeing her. Risky and romantic is walking across town, naked save for a trenchcoat, and breaking into a lover's apartment in order to surprise her. But this shit? Little Wing, this is fucking insanity!

"Father..."

"No...you listen to me, this...this is crazy! It's one thing to put your own life in danger...but the baby..."

"...is fine. Is she not, Doctor?" Liara glanced to Jefela.

The other Asari did not answer immediately, glancing between Father and Daughter, and weighing her words carefully.

"Well technically, yes. Your daughter is in perfectly acceptable health at the moment...but that is rarely an issue until the very end, in cases such as this. The whole point is that your own body is sacrificing your well-being for her sake."

She then turned away from her, quickly busying herself with looking over readouts at a side terminal. Liara could tell she still hadn't quite forgiven her for forcing her into this situation. Tevos, she was lead to believe, had leaned on V'Lork quite a bit, to get her to agree to continue on treating her for the duration of this "diplomatic outing." She was chagrined to discover this later on; She had enough faith in Jefela to know that she didn't need that sort of coaxing, and no doubt resented it. She had made it clear to her that she was just as dismayed by what Tevos had done in that particular situation.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; while the intensity of her current treatment regimen had drained her of her strength, her voice was still rock-solid with conviction.

"You've seen the same broadcasts I have. Both of you. You can't tell me she doesn't need me at her side right now. And I need to be there with her as well. Both of us. Now more than ever. You'll...you'll see. When we arrive."

As if on cue, Tevos was suddenly walking through the door, having heard the Liara's last statement.

"I couldn't agree more! Colonel Shepard is serving a very important cause on her birthworld at present; it seems to me that Liara's presence can't do anything but be a tremendous boon in a matter that has potential ramifications affecting Galactic stability as a whole."

Aethyta and Jefela wore almost the exact same bitter, angry frowns at this. Matriarch suddenly turned to Doctor...

"V'Lork, I never thought in a thousand centuries I would ever say this to the likes of YOU...but lets get the hell out of here and have a drink!"

Giving a clipped laugh, Jefela called out, "Gladly! However...". Ignoring Tevos pointedly, she walked over to Liara's bedside, and clipped a white, polished metal band around her wrist. Despite her outward appearance of anger and annoyance, she still couldn't help herself from running a soothing hand over Liara's forehead, her tone of voice softening as she spoke.

"You're to keep this on at all times. It's a biomedical sensor, that feeds in a continuous stream of data to my monitoring VI; if I find you've taken it off...we're going home Liara." she locked eyes onto her patient, and for a moment, it would have been hard for an outside observer to decide who had the greater share of determination.

V'Lork concluded by saying, "And if I say it's time to go home...then no arguments. Is that understood?"

Liara narrowed her eyes for a moment, and considered; she had pushed Jefela, a woman who was as an Aunt to her, about as far as she had ever pushed a loved one before.

She simply nodded once, and murmured softly "Yes...Drishni".

The Doctor, shook her head slightly in response, but Liara couldn't help but notice the smile on her lips all the same. Finally, Jefela walked out, heading for the door.

"Come on, Aethyta. I believe you said something about drinks..."

Tevos waited until both were out of the room before she walked up to Liara's bedside, taking one of her hands in both of hers. "There now. They'll...come around, sometime. I'm sure. You're being quite brave, I must admit."

Liara nodded, but appraised Tevos with something of a cool, steely eye. She tried not to come off as too ungrateful; after all, without her considerable pull, none of this would have happened at all. Still..."

"I wish you would let me send word to Holly ahead of time, Ambassador."

"Oh...Liara...we've discussed this. I...really do think it would be better if we kept it a surprise. Imagine what a wonderful thrill it will be, for your bondmate. I've...asked so little in return, for arranging all of this, after all."

"Yes...I...suppose so. Ambassador. My apologies. Very well then."

A mere handful of years ago, she might have innocently accepted such an explanation at face value, or otherwise perhaps emphatically pressed and pleaded her case. However, the years on Illium, her experiences right before and during her time as the Shadow Broker had stripped away the last vestiges of pure, wide-eyed innocence from her. It wasn't very difficult to see a political play was in motion; one she couldn't immediately see the full scope of, but she imagined it involved some sort of public imaging and manipulation...with Shepard being one of the manipulated parties involved. She tried not to let her anger rise up, for her own sake as much as that of her child. Despite the situation, her faith had not wavered: She needed to be on Earth. She needed to be at Holly's side.

Tevos smiled, and said, "Good girl, then. I'll see you again, very soon." before squeezing her hand once again, and walking out of the room.

Liara could excuse T'Naori's almost sweetly condescending tone and demeanor. She herself still had trouble accepting and appreciating the fact that despite her "older" worldview, she was still very much a young woman in the eyes of her society; barely past her teens, by human stands.

She let her strength return to her, over the course of of the next half hour, and eventually was able to rise up. Grabbing a cane for support, she left the medical bay, and made her way through the wide, curved corridors of the _Destiny Ascension_.

The concentrated infusion treatments had been the worst of what she had to endure thus far, with regards to managing her _keppakefex_. V'Lork certainly had warned her they would be, but it still did not properly prepare her. The only saving grace was that what would start out as a daily regimen would quickly taper off to every few days, and then eventually once a week, as her blood was brought to full eezo saturation.

Still...It was worth it. She just needed to get to Earth. They needed to be with each other. It seemed irrational to everyone else, on the outside, but she had never been so sure of anything in her life.

Finally, she made it to the cabin that Ryal was occupying; she had been kind enough to accompany her. Had insisted, really. Beyond simply wishing to see Earth for herself, she felt it was imperative to personally oversee Liara's continued training.

As Liara made her way inside, she found the room completely darkened, to the point where the cabin portholes had been fully polarized. Once the doors closed, it seemed as if the pair were floating in absolute inky blackness, save for the sharp swaths of light that candles placed upon the floor were throwing out, cutting cleanly through the darkness.

She sat in front of the elder Asari, and smiled softly in greeting. Ryal noticed the look of curiosity in her eyes...this was their first training session together since they had embarked upon the voyage to Earth, and she took a few moments to explain.

"In the absence of the familiar and intimately studied courtyard of Hachana, sometimes a near complete...lack of detail, helps things along almost as well. I believe your level of achievement, will allow for the use of this more advanced technique, as this is not something I would do with a neophyte. Indeed, I will admit to you that I'm very proud; you're progressing faster than even I had originally expected."

Liara nodded once. "I have no small amount of motivation, Ryal. I will see my bondmate. She and I and our child will be together again, as we need to be. And I will..." she stopped short, the weighty spectre of the price of failure pressing down against her shoulders for a moment.

"I will see my daughter born, alive and well. And I will be there to see her grow up."

Ryal smiled, trying not to let her pride in her pupil shine through too readily. She merely spoke, in a very soft tone, "And so I believe you shall, Liara." She pulled out a familiar brazier, opening it up, and allowing the red hot coals to be revealed.

"Now...let us begin, once again..."

* * *

_One Week Later_

"Steven, remind me why the hell I'm here, at...4 A.M? Oh God, is it really that early? Ok, WHY am I here, here being anywhere but my nice, warm, cozy, yet depressingly Liara-free bed."

It had been a long week for Shepard; nine days, really, since she had arrived back on Earth. There had been any number of events, carefully controlled and oh-so-finely-crafted media spectacles, designed to play up on the larger-than-life presence Shepard seemed to have acquired at this point. Much of it involved meeting with various dignitaries, including the heads of the Nova Fed and Bloc Monde political parties, while very pointedly snubbing anyone even remotely connected to Humanis...even though the assholes actually had the temerity to put in a request for a meeting of their own.

Holly figured they were probably having a freak out at the moment, and desperately clutching at straws as part of some full on damage control mode. She had to hand it to Allers; while it was sleazy as hell, the surprise revelation of Khalisah al-Jilani's "indiscretion" on her show, the first day Shepard got back, had all but neutralized not only her, but Westerlund New Service as well.

Khalisah spent the first two or three days almost shriekingly protesting her innocence; first denying she had anything to do with Falana T'Dano at all, before being forced to admit that yes, they had been lovers, briefly, but that there was no way that she was the Father of her child. Ultimately, Westerlund yanked her back, essentially muffling her while they figured out how the hell to regain their footing.

This wasn't going to drag them down forever, but it hurt them, badly, for a good two or three weeks at a minimum... probably even longer. By that time, Shepard hoped that this whole little "goodwill tour" she was being forced to undertake would have generated all the spin that was needed to send Humanis to the dustbin of history.

But God, was Holly exhausted at the moment; she had traveled this way and that, over most of the North American continent, and into parts of Europe as well, especially London. It hadn't quite been a year yet, since the end of the War, and she had to admit that the progress made by the rebuilding efforts was truly startling to behold.

Of course, the Reapers were doing most of the work. Holly still couldn't stand the sight of them...literally. At one point they had gotten rather close to one of the things, and she could swear she felt...eyes...all over her. She didn't remember having such a visceral reaction provoked by their presence in the past...but perhaps it was something that had always existed, but in the past had been washed away in the heat of combat. These were now, to put it bluntly much different situations.

The only thing even vaguely amusing about it all was that some of the Earth-based construction companies had been bitterly complaining about the cleanup efforts; with all the free labor being provided by the Reapers, there was little for them to do, including and especially cashing in on fat government contracts for reconstruction. In the South of the old US, in places such as Georgia and Mississippi, and in the Middle East, and in China, these companies had used their deep pockets and lobbying power to launch a plan that seemed absolutely ridiculous on the surface:

Ask the Reapers to stop rebuilding in those areas.

The got the politicians to justify it by saying that Humanity was being "demeaned, being denied the honor and the right to rebuild their own homes, with their own hands."

It wasn't about money, oh no...it was about dignity!

Enough people actually bought it, apparently, and so a simple, plaintext message had been transmitted out towards the massive, lumbering behemoths, asking them to please please PLEASE NOT kill them for asking, but could they maybe kindly think about going away, so that the Humans could feel useful again? If it wasn't too much trouble?

Much to everyone's incredible surprise, they transmitted a single response back, about a minute later:

"**MESSAGE RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD. WILL REALLOCATE RESOURCES ACCORDINGLY. INSTRUCT AGAIN IF SITUATION CHANGES."**

And then they promptly left. Some Reapers joined their brethren to accelerate the pace of the reconstruction efforts elsewhere on Earth, in places where they were still welcome; others reportedly headed off to other nearby worlds for the same purpose.

Many found it a rather intoxicating victory. Although not every government decided to go down that particular route afterwards, more than a few cities, states and countries made similar requests. Others however, especially Britain, Japan, Australia, Canada and Brazil, felt that it was lunacy to turn away such an amazing and powerful resource, especially one with an incredible burden to bear, as they had been the ones who caused all the damage in the first place.

The spin in these places then became "extracting just and due compensation from our vanquished foes." That forcing the Reapers to do the rebuilding not only helped save government funds for other goodies citizens might like, but it also helped "put the damned Reapers in their place".

Holly had gotten the previous day off, although she had had to fight hard for it, saying she needed some time to recharge, or else risk completely burning out. Hackett's sudden request for her to come meet him at Cape Canaveral stung sharply, given that she was supposed to be enjoying her break time; all he would say is that she would thank him later.

She yawned heavily, taking a long, noisy slurp of her coffee; that was the one saving grace of the morning. She was finally back on Earth, back on the Ancient Birthworld of Coffee...and no longer did she have to put up with that nasty, foul-tasting but incredibly inexpensive Elcor-produced crap.

Hackett wore a placid expression on his face, although he couldn't help but crack a smile, despite himself, at the end of Shepard's remark.

"Believe me, Shepard. You'll find this...worthwhile, in the end."

"Really? I can't get a better answer out of you than that?"

"Well, that would completely ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?"

Holly heaved out an overly-dramatic sigh, taking yet another sip of coffee. She reached into the bag in the seat next to her, in the jeep they sat in on the landing strip, and pulled out a chocolate croissant, upon which she began to nibble, semi-contentedly.

Another few minutes went by, and just as Shepard was about to issue another complaint, they could suddenly make out a ship approaching over the horizon. She continued to watch, bleary-eyed, and tilted her head curiously when the craft revealed itself to be of obvious Asari design; indeed, it was a Starblade-class transport, almost identical to her own.

Holly turned to Hackett, and with a slight frown asked, "Admiral...please don't tell me you've brought Tevos and her assistant here? I think we've got Khalisah on the run as it is, without having to actually BRING them here to rub it in people's faces."

Hackett made a snort of derision in the back of his throat, shaking his head "Please Holly, you know me better than that. Although you're half-right...the Ambassador IS on that ship, I'm lead to believe.

Shepard placed her half-eaten pastry on the dashboard, dusted the crumbs off her hands, and rose out of the vehicle, grabbing her coffee and starting to walk towards the landing pad itself in anticipation.

"Good...I'd like to have a talk with her...I haven't heard from Liara in a few days, and honestly? I'm starting to get just a little bit concerned."

"Didn't you say she was studying in some remote mountain monastery?"

"Yeah but...but not THAT remote."

"Well, I'm sure she's fine, and there's a perfectly good reason for it. But yes, by all means, feel free to ask her, if you think it's appropriate.

She nodded once at that, squinted slightly as the sun began to creep up into the sky. Even in the early dawn hours, it was unpleasantly hot and humid, and she had taken to wearing a loose fitting green tank top and black cargo shorts. She shielded her eyes and noticed the media crews pulling up in their own transports; cameramen quickly jumping out and setting up position as the ship made it's final approach and landing. A few turned their attention to Shepard as she approached.

Holly offhandedly waved and merely murmured out "Morning, kids." She had been surrounded by the press almost constantly, to the point where they seemed to fade into the background for her, wherever she went, and it seemed that she was becoming yesterday's news by comparison, as most of the crews were now solely fixed on the ship in turn.

Hackett called out, having now left the jeep himself, and walking over to join her.

"I think you're really going to enjoy this, Shepard! I've got 50,000 from the last time I bet on you , that I'm willing to put up."

Holly merely shrugged and waved a hand dismissively in the air. While she had no idea what Hackett had in mind, she learned long enough not to go up against him when it came to betting.

It's landing cycle complete, the rear main gangplank of the ship began to lower with a soft *whirrrrrr*. After another minute she could just start to make out a party of two or three Asari, surrounding a fourth, who was being pushed along in some sort of hovering chair.

Shielding her eyes against the increasing intensity of the sun, she could just start to make them out...that was definitely Tevos, leading up the front and...was that Aethyta? Wait a second, if Aethyta was here, could that mean...

Holly was transfixed as she could finally make out Liara, being pushed along by Dr. V'Lork

The scene took on a dreamlike, surreal quality, and in her mind Holly had eyes only for her bondmate. Everyone else surrounding her suddenly disappeared, as if they had never existed. Feeling an inexorable tug, a compulsion like a siren's song, she began to make her way over to meet them mid-way, without even fully realizing what she was doing; so entranced was she, that she failed to notice her cup of coffee falling out of her hands, splashing onto the ground.

She could barely make Liara out, surrounded in the golden nimbus of the sun, low upon the horizon...almost as if the Asari herself was glowing with a gentle, painful brightness, the center of Shepard's entire world. As they finally came close to one another, Holly found herself having to fight the urge to drop to her knees before her, in unadulterated reverence.

Their eyes locked, and Holly felt herself engulfed, drawn inward. Liara was smiling so brightly now, a curious mixture of childlike glee and seductive invitation.

Time seemed to draw out so slowly, Liara rising up, in one smooth, eternal motion, onto her feet. Cameras flashed, questions being shouted out, but neither could hear; at this one moment in time, the world existed solely for the two of them alone.

Holly stepped up, merely inches away now, her senses so wholly attuned to Liara...she could feel the heat coming off her skin, could smell the lingering scent of her floral perfume...every detail in her skin and of her head ridges had never seemed so sharp to her before.

Had she ever truly looked upon her bondmate, before today? It seemed like every moment spent together with her before were hazy memories, compared to the brilliance of now.

She was scared to speak at first, unable to bring herself to break the spell she was under...afraid that she'd suddenly wake up, find out that it had all merely been a dream.

Holly couldn't remember falling into her, but she had, her arms wrapped against her, clinging like a drowning woman lost at sea; the soft crush of Liara's breasts against her own, burying her face against her neck and inhaling sharply, shuddering hard at the sensations in produced, thrumming up and down her spine; hands running over her back, and up to her neck and head. Up and down, she planted a line of frantic kisses, between her neck and shoulder, eliciting a sharp,shuddering thrill of delight from her bondmate.

"Oh God...it's you...it's really you. Please tell me this is real!" Holly begged, in a tight, high voice, "Please tell me you're here, somehow...that I'm not dreaming or going crazy!"

Holly paused, "Or at least lie to me, if I am."

Liara cupped Shepard's face in her hands, giving a soft little laugh, and silently nodded. She then swallowed hard, as she looked into her lover's eyes, and could see the depths of want and hunger, see how much Holly needed her, as she needed Holly in return. She was utterly unshakable now, in her conviction in the rightness of coming to Earth, despite the risk.

"It's me, love...I came...I knew you needed me...that we needed to be together. I simply could not wait until you could return home to Thessia. So I did what I had to, to be here. With you."

Holly was breathing in shallow, ragged gasps, on the edge of tears. She returned the smile, almost painfully wide, as she asked in a soft whisper.

"Are...are you okay? If I kiss the hell out of you, do you think you can handle it?"

"Dear Heart...I won't be truly okay until you DO kiss me."

However, Liara was not entirely prepared for what came next: Shepard scooped her up into her arms, pinning her own arm slightly upwards in the rush, and dipped her back a bit low. Their mouths met; the sensation was intensely electric, Liara could almost feel literal sparks between them, as her mouth happily accepted Shepard's tongue slipping past her lips, her own wrestling passionately against it.

There were whoops, cheers, and catcalls, but neither heard. Aethyta nodded, smirking approvingly at the couple for the moment, while V'Lork seemed positively aghast, preparing for the worst, with regards to the effect it would have on her patient. Tevos had simply walked over towards the Admiral, to speak with him in private.

As much they both hoped the kiss would never end, they ultimately had to come up for air. Holly gently guided a now trembling Liara back into her chair, the pair still smiling brightly at each other.

This time, Shepard did allow herself to fall to her knees, next to the hoverchair. They were content to stay that way for the next few minutes, trading long lingering looks, stroking each others hair and skin, and trading tender kisses, while they answered various questions from the media.

Shepard had been happy she hadn't bet against Hackett...although it was a bet she would have been ecstatic about losing.

* * *

Several thousand miles away, in the darkness of her control center, Diana Aller's looked on, a wicked grin nearly frozen onto her face.

"And you know what the worst part of all of this is, Vid?"

"Uhh...hold on Di, this onena them trick questions?"

"No asshole. The crime is that I should totally be getting a Pulitzer this year for my sheer awesome awesomeness, but I probably won't because it's all rigged. But I told Hackett if we kept it a surprise, we'd get gold. But this? This is fucking eezo! Man, I'm like a media alchemist. Oh! That's good...Media Alchemy. Remind me to ask Jillian to see if we can trademark that..."

"..right. Well...yeh...I will admit to havin' to adjust the meat and two veg a bit...blimey that was a hell of a kiss."

Allers tilted her head down for a moment, shaking it and pinching at the bridge of her nose, making a disgusted sound in her throat. She then suddenly whipped her head back up. "Hey...is it me, or did that whole grabbing her and tilting her backwards to kiss thing look familiar for some reason?"

"It did at that..."

Allers pulled up the buffered video feed, and began rewinding back until she found the scene again. Tracing a search selection box around the two of them, she nodded with satisfaction as a black and white photo came to the top of the search results list. Touching the result in the floating display, and bringing it to the forefront, the text underneath it read:

**V-J Day In Times Square  
****Alfred Eisenstaedt  
****Life Magazine, 1945**

She leaned forward, propping her chin up with her hand and elbow, giving a little dreamy smile as she took the scene in, glancing over and realizing how similar the picture was to the kiss from a few minutes back.

"Di...you still with us?"

"Ohhhh yeah. Sorry...just...this is great. This is going to make a gazillion people fall totally in love with them. So...you know...Go! Take these photos, do that meme thing you do, get them side by side, get people on OUR side. It's old, but it's still a famous enough photo, it'll probably strike a cord. Or six! Especially...you know...the soldier returning home from the war aspect. Shit, I'm GOOD..."

Vid's voice took on a slow, cautious tone, "Uhhh...right. Okay...you realize that in that photo, that's some bloke who just up and grabbed some poor bird he didn' know, and just forced himself on 'er. You know that, right?"

Diana smacked herself hard on the forehead. "Vid. Seriously? Shut...the fuck up. NORMAL people don't know, or care. Only idiot savants with a head full of useless knowledge like YOU remember shit like this."

"Oi! I didn' hear you complainin' the last time we did the pub quiz in Liverpool, and I won us free pints for the rest of the evenin'."

Diana straightened up and hmmmed. "You did, at that. Speaking of which, I think Jillian and I need to come over for a visit. Friday?"

"Huh, well now...dunno. You think you can deign to be seen with an 'idiot' like me, wot? Maybe I got me some plans that evening, instead."

"Okay, yes...look...sorry."

"Oh oh, sorry she says, like that's gonna..."

Allers sighed heavily, interrupting him sharply "Fine! I'll bring weed."

"...right. See you on Friday then, Di! Cheers!"


	27. Holly And Liara BLEEP At The End

**A/N: **Whew. Sorry, between the heatwave going on here and my getting a cold, it has been tough writing lately, so my apologies if this didn't come out as good as it should have. A word of warning: This chapter is rather smutty. Of course, if you were the sort of audience that minded, I would probably have figured that out by now :-)

And with this chapter, I will now need to go on hiatus, probably for the next four weeks, between getting ready for vacation, going on vacation, and then recovering from vacation. I'm hoping to get writing done though (28 combined hours on planes alone, 17 hours on trains...so yeah, I got time), so I can hopefully hit the ground running.

As always, praise be to **Caracal22** for her continuous editing efforts, and for always willing to be my literary compass, when I'm not sure which way is creative north. She just finished up her first Mass Effect fanfic, so drop her some congrats.

Have a good one, folks!

* * *

Holly thought that the past few hours after Liara's arrival had seemed gloriously tortuous; certainly, it had been for her, and she suspected that her bondmate felt the same. Under normal circumstances, she would have picked the young Asari up, thrown her over her shoulder and carried her into the bedroom, locking the door behind them for days.

But these were far from normal circumstances; Shepard and Liara were at the center of a media maelstrom that was seeking to instantly celebratize them as the next great "power couple", continuing the centuries-old fascination Humans seemed to have with the relationships and lifestyles of the wealthy and-slash-or famous.

As far as she was concerned, Holly found she could endure almost anything, now that she had Liara at her side once more. The inane questions from the reporters, the constant requests for photos...it all seemed to slide off like water on greasepaint. She had eyes only for her love, and everything else was a tolerable distraction that seemed to quickly fade in and out of awareness.

Still, it was a relief at last to finally be able to sit down together at an impromptu breakfast banquet, with Hackett and Tevos as the honored guests and speakers; both made impassioned speeches for greater cooperation and trust between the two races, with Tevos throwing out a particularly clever line about the "special friendship" that bound Human and Asari together, echoing the sentiment of the old American Union and Great Britain through the late 20th and early 21st Centuries. Clearly, Tevos had spent a lot of time doing her homework; that, or she had a fantastic speechwriter who was doing it for her, although if Shepard didn't know better, she would have sworn it was precisely the sort of thing Diana Allers would have written.

It was hours still, before the pair could steal away on their own, but not before having to endure the admonitions and pleas of not only Dr. V'Lork - who still was rather put out that this trip was taking place at all, and that Liara was not immediately returning home - but Aethyta was well; that Liara's Father was not simply cracking wise about them "getting down to sexy business" clearly communicated the depth of worry that the Matriarch had for her daughter.

They finally made it back to the _Modesty Blaise_ in the late afternoon, Holly instructing Mandala to plot a nice, lazy course around Pluto and back, to give them no small amount of privacy for the rest of the day and on into the evening. She gently cradled Liara in her arms, wedding-carrying her as they made their way into the main cabin.

Liara's eyes lit up as she looked around. "Goddess it's...it's like being back on the _Normandy_ a little bit, isn't it?"

"Yeah...we had a lot of good times there, didn't we, Bluebird? I thought it was worth preserving."

Liara was gently deposited onto the bed, sitting at the foot of it; Shepard reached down, stroking her cheek and face with her palm, fingertips tracing slow, delicate lines, as if getting the feel for a finely crafted work of art. Her other hand joined in, and the two locked eyes once more, the weight of their gazes making words superfluous.

Holly sat down, as close to Liara as she could manage, and leaned in, lips instantly seeking each other. It started with a series of soft kisses, mere brushing together of lips, that grew in intensity over the next few minutes. Liara gave a soft croon as her partner began to fondly lick and nibble over her shoulder and neck, in the hollow of her throat, nuzzling against the sensitive ridges of skin that surrounded her ear holes. Liara reached out, tracing her fingers over one of Holly's breasts, cupping it, simply enjoying its warmth and heft. She could feel the hammering heartbeat, causing her skin to seemingly vibrate. It wasn't long before a thumb snaked out, playing lazily in long, languid circles against the nipple, stiffening it into deliciously painful tightness. Holly responded by letting her head fall back, a loud, long moan slipping silky from her throat.

Suddenly Liara gave a languid but predatory grin, eyes glinting; unable to help herself, she pushed Holly onto her back on the bed, and crawled on top of her, pinning her down.

"Mmmmmmm! YOU...are not usually so...aggressive." Holly said, with a drunken giggle.

Liara smirked, moving her face very close in, until their noses were touching.

"And YOU are usually the more dominant. I'm surprised you haven't completely ripped my clothing to tatters and attempted to devour me whole."

Holly blushed somewhat, closing her eyes, and reaching up to pull Liara close, down onto her, cradling. After a few moments, she let out a soft sigh and said, "You...you have no idea how much I want you, right now. At this moment. But...I've gotta admit, Bluebird. I'm a little scared. It's clear your Dad and the Doc are freaked out about this...and you took a huge risk, coming here and I..." she laughed, nervously, feeling like she was a teenager again, to some extent.

"I don't want to sex you to death."

Liara shook her head, laughing good naturedly, as she suddenly leaned in, grabbing a handful of long, crimson locks and inhaling sharply. She gave a visible shudder of pleasure, and used the grip on Holly to gently pulled her bondmate's face close to her own, where she stole yet series of increasingly heated kisses; Shepard was left breathless and speechless.

"I think the pregnancy has sharpened my senses. You have no idea how good you smell to me right now...all those pheromones..."

"Sweetie...". Holly's concerns still hadn't been answered.

Liara sighed gently, giving a reassuring smile. "We will...of course we will have to be a bit more...careful than usual. We can't be too..strenuously creative. At the same time, Doctor V'Lork also said that an...appropriately active regimen of sex and melding...will do wonders for my stress level."

"Doctors orders, hmmm?"

Liara nodded. "Technically, you'd be putting my health at risk by NOT making love to me multiple times tonight."

Holly laughed at this, and reached up, moving with slow and steady gentleness to place Liara on her back, careful about her abdomen. She then gave her a rather wanton, smoldering look, leaned in and purred.

"Well then...good thing for you that I have plenty of pharmaceutical grade lovin' on hand."

Liara looked up at her, silently, for a good five to ten seconds, before bursting out into loud peals of hysterical laughter. She grabbed Holly's hand and begin to kiss it softly, in order to soften any perceived blow.

"Goddess...that is just the sort of corny, lovely thing I've missed hearing you say."

They nuzzled at each other once again, noses, cheeks and foreheads rubbing, soft kisses back and forth, torn between raging desire and tender romance.

Finally, Holly rose up, and slipped off and away from the bed, she started to pull off the loose, black cotton ribbed t-shirt she was wearing and whipped it over her head, before tossing it over towards Liara. She then worked to kick off her loose drawstring pants, leaving her in only a black lacy bra and french cut panty set, as she headed over to a metal chest in the corner of the bedroom.

"Just for that, I'm going to subject you to the horrors of foreplay..."

"No. You fiend. How could you? Anything but that." Liara drawled in a deadpan, monotone voice, with a fierce grin fixed upon her lips.

Holly's own face was starting to ache from the smile frozen upon it, rummaging around through a few goodies, most of which still in their original packaging. She pulled out a small box from Sympatico, opened it up, and removed the contents inside.

Liara glanced over, curious now to see what Holly had in mind to use...on her, she imagined. Her bondmate turned around, and she could see how she was wearing a thin, elbow-length latex glove; the back of the palm had some sort of control mechanism affixed to it, and a series of small metal studs ran over the fingers and palm.

"What...what is...THAT? Precisely?"

"Oh this? Well...you know that fancy toothbrush that Samantha is always going on about?"

"The Cision one?"

"Yeah. Well..." and Holly reached up, tapping a couple of buttons on the control. The humming blue scintillation of mass effect fields snapped to life, playing over the metal studs. "It's like that. In the palm of my hand. Now...lemme at those gorgeous head ridges of yours, you sexy blue she-demon."

Liara's curiosity and eagerness shot several degrees higher, welcoming Holly back to bed with another hungry kiss. She then closed her eyes as she felt Shepard begin to gently stroke her scalp, and the tender spaces between her ridges with the intensely vibrating fields.

Her breath trapped in her throat. The feeling was stimulating and erotic, like nothing she had ever felt before. Already she was unable to keep herself from panting, despite herself, stroking her head back against the glove, like a cat rising up to meet an affectional scritch between the ears.

"You...you have...exactly...ten minutes. To stop doing that. Umm...I mean it."

Holly grinned with evil delight, pacing herself with feather delicate touches.

"Mmmmm...you really think you're going to last ten minutes in my diabolical, technological clutches, pretty pretty plaything?"

Liara's toes were curling, and she tangled her fingers hard in the sheets, gathering up the material. She squirmed deliciously as her voice ran up and down a lovely scale of decadent euphoria.

Holly simply watched her, transfixed, alternating her technique: Sometimes she would use a single fingertip to probe in small, secret spaces; other times she would run the full length of her open palm over Liara's head until she was fit to be screaming. Part of her wanted to push Shepard back, tear off what little she still had on with her teeth, run her tongue over warm, glistening flesh, still fragrant with pheromones from her perspiration from the morning. And yet the other half couldn't bear to have Shepard stop teasing her so expertly.

"Mmmm...I'd love to know how you're feeling, right this minute."

With a dark smile that matched the black pools swallowing up her eyes, Liara gently placed her palms on Shepard's cheeks, and whispered "You can."

The meld kicked in hard, all-consuming and enveloping. If Holly didn't know better, she would almost think that Liara had initiated a reproductive meld. It was a good two or three minutes before she could finally sense her own unique presence once more. Still, their nervous systems were joined in a particularly strong fashion, and Holly couldn't help but feel like she WAS Liara, and in turn, Liara couldn't help but feel that she was both on the giving and receiving end simultaneously.

"_I...wow. Is this how it feels...my...I mean our...your...head ridges?"_

It was...indescribable. Holly could feel her hair, but she could also feel the firm yet tender cartilage that made up the tendrils of Liara's head, as if it were her own. Could feel the strange, alien, and yet all-too-familiar texture of the skin, the absolute tingling, buzzing delight the handheld vibrator was providing. It was like she was doing it to herself...and it also gave her insight into what techniques provided the most stimulation.

Experimentally, she ran two fingers across two different ridges, eyes snapping open wide at the result.

"_Yes! Oh Goddess, please don't stop!"_

Neither were sure if they had been the one to 'say' that.

Holly began to squirm and pant, nearly mirroring Liara's own motions, all of her sensory input now seemingly doubled. She snaked a leg around her lover's her breath taken away as she struggled to once again determine where she herself began and Liara ended. She was still quite agogue...having melded frequently with Liara over the past year, yet it was never quite this strong.

"_Dr. V'Lork warned me this might be a side effect of the eezo infusion treatments. And...Ryal also mentioned that as I achieved more and more mastery over my own mind it could spill over into the melding process. Oh, and of course, there are the changes that come over every Asari as she goes through various stages of pregnancy"_

"_...kay. Hee...mmmm...so...You're on Asari Viagra AND a crazy hormonal storm while doing Asari tantric sex magic, all at the same time?"_

"_I...have no idea most of that means...so I'm just going to say..."_

"YES!" Liara suddenly vocalized, crying out and arched her body up, pressing hard against Holly and the toy strapped to her hand. She had been caught off guard by the orgasmic crescendo sizzling through her body; Holly had been even more surprised, as the ecstatic release echoed and reverberated between the both of them, until it was impossible to tell who had come first, or how long it could possibly last.

Holly was uncertain how long her perception of time and her sense of self had blacked out as she came around to herself once more, mouth locked onto Liara's in a seemingly eternal kiss.

She quietly, slowly pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes, and breathed out in a tender, heated sigh.

"Wow...good foreplay..."

Liara snorted in amusement, once again playing with Holly's hair.

"I don't believe I have actually ever come...from having my ridges played with. Although I've been told it's possible. But that was...incredible."

Reaching up and tapping the button to turn the glove off, Holly glanced over to her mate, and with a smirk murmured "Just so you know, this thing is for more than just head ridges. And uh...I imagine it works just as well on Humans."

"Believe me, I fully intend to test that hypothesis."

"Ever the scientist, Mrs. T'Soni."

Liara tilted Hollys head up just a bit, with a fingertip placed under the chin.

"That's Mrs. T'Soni, Ma'am."

"Oh ho!" Shepard smiled with a soft purr, leaning in close. "Definitely liking the bit of aggression...Ma'am. We should spend weeks apart more often."

"Very good...because I have such...plans for you. And you are not to leave my sight for at least the next three weeks."

"No argument from me there, Bluebird."

Liara began to lead Holly to her feet, off the bed, as she walked slowly backwards, until she was pressed up against the wall.

Grabbing a fistful of hair once more, Liara pulled Hollys head over toward her, and to the side, nibbling on her ear as she spoke in a soft, firm, even tone."

"Undress me."

It was a simple statement. One given with neither a imperious nor a pleading tone. It was said by the daughter of powerful Matriarchs, from one of the oldest and most esteemed Houses of the Asari, who expected to get precisely what she was quietly demanding; the mere strength of her presence was all she needed at this moment.

And Holly was powerless against her, bowing her head for a moment in absolute assent.

Her hands then moved up and over the Liara's shoulders, beginning to push aside the loose robe she was dressed in. It came off easily enough, falling off and crumpling into a soft pile gathered at her feet. What plain undergarments she had underneath were just as easily removed, and Holly began to reverently kiss, lick, and nuzzle azure flesh as it was revealed to her. A slow, lazy trail wetly made its way to Liara's chest.

Holly nuzzled her nose between that perfect valley between the breasts, the merest tip of her tongue tracing long, languid circles. Her lips then sealed over the stiff, dark blue nipple cresting the breast, and she began to gently bite and suckle, as her hand cradled the other breast, rolling the other nipple between her fingers, occasionally pinching and pulling.

Liara cradled Holly's head in her arms, tilting her own back and giving a throaty cry of delight. For the next few minutes, she bathed in her bondmate's tender ministrations, until she was suddenly able to help herself, pulling Holly back up into yet another hungry kiss, snarling slightly through her nose. She then gave something of a giggle, and started to push on her shoulders.

"Down, down! On your knees!"

Holly tried not to laugh too hard. V'Lork had warned her that Liara might have perhaps a bit too much energy as her body adjusted to the infusions, and Holly could see she hadn't spoken lightly. She simply looked up, gave a lazy salute, and slowly drifted onto the floor.

"Yes, Ma'am."

Shepard then leaned in low, nuzzling at Liara's feet, planting little kisses on each and every toe, grinning to herself as she noted that they had been painted a lovely shade of pink. She began to work her way with agonizing lethargy upwards. Ankles received little toothy nibbles, the calves much firmer love bites, and the backs of knees were wetly rasped with the full flat surface of her tongue. Holly was exceedingly pleased with herself when she began to hear the scratch of fingernails against the wall, a by-product of the excited squirming her ascent was producing.

More bites, accompanied by hungry snarls began to cover the tender flesh of the inner thighs, as Holly looked upwards, her gazed completely locked with Liara's. The tension between them grew palpable, ever more solid as she made her inevitable way up towards the soft, smooth cleft between Liara's legs.

They held the gaze, and stayed perfectly still for almost a full minute.

And then suddenly Holly was upon her in full, spreading her legs and diving in, her lips encircling the stiff clitoral bud, as her hands reached upwards to firmly cup and grip Liara's breasts. Liara responded almost instinctively, once again reaching out to initiate a meld...perhaps not quite as immediately overwhelming as before, but it was simply a matter of time before they both completely faded into each other, their awareness dissolving into a blissful, sparkling haze.

* * *

It was almost an hour and a half later when Holly began to woozily make her way back upwards. By this time, Liara was laying back upon the bed, her glistening form sprawled out spread eagle, like some decadent Empress receiving an appropriate tribute...she couldn't remember how they had gotten there. at least not immediately. Starting from the wall, there had been the chair, and then the floor, and then a dresser? Yes, and then finally the bed.

Shepard rubbed her jaw, speaking through clenched teeth.

"'Kay...how m'ny was dat?"

Liara's eyelids fluttered open, as she looked over at adoringly at her mate, with a smile that seemed almost permanently etched onto her face by this time.

"I...I lost count after 8 or 9."

Holly's eyes widened, "Dmn...you must be getting more sensitive then, otherwise I'd be in the hospital at this point." She chuckled, again through her teeth, and made a playful muscle with her curled arm...and then went back to rubbing her jaw.

"Great well...don't expect me to go down on you again for a month, or at least until my lockjaw clears up"

Liara gave a spritely laugh, and pulled Holly close against her. "Oh...Goddess, you poor thing." She covered her face in happy little kisses, and murmured "Here, let me free you from having to actually talk."

She initiated a surface meld, enough to allow them to 'think' at each other...

"_Oh God...much better. Thank you."_

"_Mmmm...no...thank YOU! If I didn't know better, I might almost think you were trying to butter me up for something. That...or trying to make up for something else."_

Liara could feel Holly blanche internally...

"_Oh love...I didn't mean it like that. Well...not for the most part."_

"_Yes well...I will admit I was perhaps feeling a little guilty for the wandering eye...you aren't angry?"_

"_Oh no. Of course not. Not...really. I thought it was sweet, actually, your need to open up and tell me about all of it in your letters home. Dear heart, I've melded with you enough times to know how...ahh...how little practice you have with maintaining a monogamous mindset. I'm not blind...and neither are you. Still, you didn't actually...stray all the way, as it were."_

"_No...no...although oh God. Traynor. I swear, if she hadn't said anything, worked to try and defuse things..."_

"_Yes well...perhaps we should take a moment to discuss this matter. Now that you've reassured me who holds your heart above all others, in the end. As strong as I can feel your attraction to Samantha is, I highly doubt that you would have risked seriously compromising your temporomandibular joints in the same way, with her."_

_Holly laughed happily, sending out waves of affection and unconditional love through the link._

_Liara paused, letting it all swirl about her and soak in, before she continued, "Now you well know that my own people often come to...arrangements. And I will admit that even I have a little trouble understanding the human demand for complete and lifelong monogamy, while at the same time, so many of you seem to be subconsciously setting yourselves up to fall from that path. HOWEVER...speaking personally...I am not ready to share. Or be shared."_

"_Yessssss, Ma'am. Clearly you'll be keeping a tight rein on me, at least for a while."_

Liara wordlessly smiled, wrinkling her nose and amusement, as she stroked Holly's hair, before continuing their mental conversation.

"_Just as long as you don't give me a reason to fit you with some sort of chastity device, love." She gave her a meaningful, mental 'look'._

"_Promise, babe. Pinky swear, even. I think I needed to go out into the wilderness, so to speak, and come home, to remember what I have with you, and what I need to prepare for when I'm out on my own."_

"_Yes well...a few rules then, for the day when we might consider opening up our relationship, so that there is no confusion: First, if we do allow ourselves to physically be with others, it has to be someone we both approve of. Each of us gets refusal over the other's partners."_

"_Sounds fair."_

"_Second, with regards to...oh!_" Liara paused, reading deeper thoughts coming off from Shepard._ "She's a Lieutenant now? Well good for her. Ahem yes, with regards to Samantha...if the day comes...you WILL need to share."_

"_Uhh...well, isn't it YOU doing the sharing here?"_

"_No, I mean if you and Traynor end up consummating your desire for each other...I want in on it."_

"_Wait...you mean you want...Samantha as well?"_

"_She is rather...lovely, don't you think? Hmmm..what am I asking, of course I already know your answer."_

Holly swallowed hard, started to smile physically, then winced painfully. Clearly she was excited at the thought though, from the emotional response coming through the link.

"_W...ooooow. Okay...but...um...Bluebird, don't take this the wrong way, but what if she doesn't want to be 'shared'."_

"_...I think she might jump at the chance to have us both. You may not appreciate the amount of time that she and I have had to get acquainted, especially when we were all together on the Normandy. She and I played many games of chess and kepesh-yakshi, and had long discussions on any number of subjects. We share many interests, are of somewhat similar temperament...we are what some of your kind refer to as 'geeks'."_

"_...sorry. Still a bit in shock here. Happy, joyful, delirious shock."_

"_Mmmm...well I hope you don't mind me having an attraction to others then. Especially to a certain Communications Officer we both appear to be lusting after?"_

"_Ahhh...no! I would be the Galaxy's biggest hypocrite, otherwise."_

"_Well good. However, as I mentioned previously...I am not ready to share at this time. So you simply tuck what we've talked about into your heart...and you behave yourself."_

"_Oh my God, I SO love you right now."_

"_I'm told I have that effect on certain red-headed Humans who excel at saving the Galaxy."_

The two leaned in, kissing, very gently now, given Holly's current condition. Liara then placed her hands on her cheeks, looking at her partner deep in the eyes.

"_However...and I can not stress this next part enough: You will NOT fuck Aria T'Loak. Ever."_

Holly blinked, rather taken aback by this sudden turn in her mate.

"_Oh...sweetie...seriously, you have nothing to worry about there. Yeah, maybe there are some "bad girl" sparks there, but believe me, she's eminently resistable..."_

"_I mean it...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off so forceful. But not only do I never want to share you with her, I'm not sure I could ever bring myself to let you be with another Asari. It would...depend..."_

"_Well, maybe you need to tell me what's jamming the jealousy nerve so sharp in this case."_

"_Mmmm. Of course...simply put, if you had somehow ended up engaging in some sort of physical affair with Samantha, I would have been...hurt. But ultimately, I believe I would have forgiven you in time, especially since, knowing you as I do, you would have told me as soon as you could have. On the other hand, if you had been with Aria while you were on Omega...well. I'm sorry, but I do not think I could ever find a way...to..."_

Liara's face was suddenly wet with a few tears. Holly quickly reached over and hugged her very tightly to her, planting small, reassuring kisses over her ridges.

"_I'm sorry...it's just...if you and Traynor had made love, she might have had you physically, perhaps even emotionally...but she would never have touched your essence, the way I can..."_

Holly suddenly gasped, as she could feel Liara's mental presence begin to envelop her, surround her...consume her. It was intensely ecstatic, almost like they night they had conceived. Shepard found memories of her life bubbling up, feelings, emotions...every aspect that made up her life, opening up like a book to be read. She physically trembled from the sheer delight of it, eyes rolling back up into her head, until Liara gave a shocked and surprised sound, choked back in her throat, pulling away

"_Oh...Goddess! Holly...are you alright? I'm sorry, I...again, my melding abilities have been affected...by everything happening at present."_

After a few seconds, Shepard became to come back to herself.

"_Wow...that was...that could get really addictive..."_

"_Hmmm...yes...well...but you see my point? Knowing Aria, she wouldn't just want to have you, physically...she would want a full-on meld...maybe not for reproductive purposes, but she would get to...to KNOW you...in the same way I have. I don't think I will ever be able to share that one thing, that I alone possess now."_

Holly smiled through the link.

"_And I promise you, pretty lady...you'll never have to. I can see now, how this means so much to you...thank you."_

They basked in each other's presence for a while, no longer feeling the need to communicate with anything beyond pure emotions, when Holly began to feel a third presence sleepily begin to intrude upon them.

"_Hmmm. It seems we've gone and woken up the baby." _Liara thought brightly through the meld.

"_Oh wow...she...she's grown! Don't tell me how I can tell...but I can tell. She seems like more of a...presence now."_

"_Yes but...she's still very young and emergent, all the same. What empathic feedback we get from here is really just an instinctive echoing of...well...whatever we send her way. And what emotions we send to her, the more she will ultimately be shaped as a person, years down the road."_

"_Well then..." _Holly paused for a moment, biting back the urge to 'say' something witty or comical. It just...didn't seem like the time for anything other than complete, unvarnished feeling at this point.

She took Liara's hand in her own, placing them both on the swollen abdomen. She then brought their foreheads together and smiled, focusing her thoughts and attention on both her wife and daughter-to-be.

"_Hey Hipployta. It's Mommy and Daddy! We can't wait to meet you...and um...but you just take your time getting big and strong and ready, okay?"_

Holly blushed at this...it sounded corny in her head, and it barely communicated the depth of her feelings at this particular moment. Instead, she gathered up every scrap of love, every hope for the future, every dream that she had for a life that the three of them would share, and bound them all so tightly together in it. She trembled, shaking with a wide smile on her face as she felt Liara do likewise. Tears of joy streaked their faces as the three minds reverberated with joy and affection, the passage of time losing it's meaning, as only the current moment seemed to exist for any of them.

Holly had been an atheist all her life, and very little had happened to change her beliefs. Still, she had an appreciation for wonder, mystery, and overwhelming beauty that seemed to be found in existence; being part of this Asari familial meld was about the closest thing to the sacred, spiritual and divine she had ever experienced.

Now more than ever, Holly became so overwhelmingly aware that her life was changing...the old was dying, and the new was literally being born. She'd need to be ready to roll with those changes, the myriad adaptations that would be required...

"_You could start with perhaps not swearing so much. Not that I mind, but...Hippolyta will pick up on it before too long."_

Holly physically laughed, eyes still tightly shut, tears still streaming from her face. She buried her face against Liara's shoulder and continued to shake with laughter for almost another fifteen minutes.

* * *

Holly and Liara roused as Mandala quietly informed them that they had passed Jupiter on the return loop, and would be returning to Earth orbit within the next couple of hours. Shepard found her voice, which croaked slightly from disuse.

"Slow it down, and give us three, 'kay Mandy?"

"Acknowledged, Colonel."

Liara slowly moved onto her side, propped up with one elbow, reaching out to stroke Holly's throat and cheek.

"How's the jaw?"

"Getting better...but not THAT much better, you wicked, wicked woman."

Liara leaned back and giggled slightly. "Three hours, hmmm."

"Yeah, well..I figured we would need to shower, get dressed. That sort of thing."

"But we don't need a whole three hours for that."

"Speak for yourself. I am a vain, shallow slip of a woman who refuses to be seen in public unless I'm in a state of absolute perfection."

Holly threw up her arms, falling backwards a bit as Liara hit her with a pillow.

"I can't help but suspect that you've probably got other...interesting toys in that box in the corner. Perhaps you can pull something out...keeping in mind that I get to be on top this time."

Holly shakily rose from the bed, walking wobbily as she tried to regain her balance.

"You're going to kill me, woman."

"Fortunately for you, I know people who have taken care of that problem for you in the past."

"Touche..."

Holly began to rumage around in the box in the corner of the room.

"Are you going to get...worse...as time goes on?"

"Worse? How?"

"I'm thinking...voracious."

"Ooooooh...that is a distinct possibility. Just from the hormonal changes alone, which are far more pronounced in my condition."

Holly's head flopped down for a moment in mock exhaustion. She took a very deep breath, retrieved something appropriate, and then grumbled lightly.

"Aww...Fffff...Bleep!"

Liara began to slowly rise up into a sitting position, like some sort of Nordic Goddess rising up from the snowy depths. She smiled like the cat who ate the canary, and then tilted her head in quizzical confusion.

"Wait a second...did you just say bleep?"


	28. Little Obsessions

**A/N: **Hi kids. I'm back. Still jet lagged as hell though, but Japan was a hoot. Of course, I am incredibly behind on my reading and writing. The trip was far more involved than I thought it would be, and we pulled some 20 hour days.

This was actually going to be a piece on Shepard going to Africa...but I just couldn't figure out how to make that work. I MIGHT give it one more shot, but I doubt it. Still, I needed to get back into the swing of things, lest I get too rusty. So I very quickly went with the "Write What You Know" school of thought, and whipped out another bit of fluff. My apologies if this is kind of "eh" work. But I've got the next chapter decently plotted out, and Chapter 30 is going to be great, because I already wrote it. (I did get a LITTLE time to write on the flight back home, at least.)

This is actually the first piece that **Caracal22** has NOT either read over or edited since we began working together in June. I will now admit that this statement is simply a cheap ploy for me to promote her new story, which is full of Shepard-Traynor smutty goodness, so check it out!

* * *

"Sweetie, you've been at this for like...fifteen minutes now. I think you need to admit defeat."

Holly was leaning against the wall in the small lobby of the Hakodate spaceport in Hokkaido. While the Japanese summers there were not as brutally sweltering as they were further south on Honshu this time of year, in places like Kyoto and Hiroshima, it was still enough to make her wilt, if just slightly, her hair damp with perspiration. Certainly, as part of her N7 training, she had been exposed to and expected to survive in far more brutal conditions...

...but it didn't mean she had to enjoy it, either.

As the need for Liara's eezo-infusion treatments grew less frequent, she and Holly had started taking small day trips across the planet; with an advanced Asari transport at their complete disposal, suborbital transits allowed them to get to pretty much anywhere on the planet that they liked, within two hours or less. And for the last few days, they has been visiting various cities and national parks in Japan.

Tokyo had understandably borne the brunt of the Reaper occupation in that country, and for the most part was still a ruined shell of its former megapolitan glory; it was clear that it would rise from the ashes once again, more grandiose than before, but that day was far off in the future, even with the assistance that the Reapers themselves were now providing.

For their own part, the people of Japan seemed much more accepting of the situation than many other nations had; as far as they were concerned, the Reapers were machines that had fallen to the power of Humanity, and were now leashed for its benefit, without much concern as to what they might or might not do in the future. Given that the story of the invasion, occupation, and eventual liberation of Earth from the alien menace was torn straight from centuries of Japanese animation and manga, it seemed that it's collective cultural consciousness allowed it to more quickly adapt and recover from recent events, world-shaking as they had literally been.

Which brought Holly to her current...predicament.

Liara stared at the small vending machine with intense frustration, the expression etched on her face suggesting that she was working hard to restrain herself from simply tearing it open with her biotics. Over the past few days, she had acquired the strangest fascination with Japanese _gashapon;_ in this particular case, the small lapel pin trinkets that many of the towns and cities on the island nation sold through dispensers. The pins themselves usually reflected various local and regional attractions, exports, and famous people and events, as well as whatever animated characters were popular at the time.

What had started off as simple curiosity had turned into a (mostly) amusing obsession; Liara now insisted on adding to her collection at every opportunity, whenever they visited someplace new on the island nation. Holly had decided to chalk it up as some sort of pregnancy-induced Asari nesting instinct manifesting itself, and for the most part thought it yet another adorably odd quirk from her bondmate

The truly annoying part, however, was that the damn vending machines only gave the evil little things out at random from a set lineup. Some were clearly meant to be more rare and desirable than others, and Liara apparently had her heart set on some sort of pin that was a representation of the star shaped grounds of some old British fort, which had been forcibly taken over by the forces of Hijikata Toshizo and the Shinsengumi in the mid 1800s. It was in this fort that they had chosen to make last stand again the army of the Emperor and his western allies; though their cause was doomed from the start, it allowed them to make a bold statement against the ending of the Edo period in Japan, and the transition to the Meiji.

Or at least that was what the slip of papers that came with the pins from the series said. Japanese history was hardly Holly's strong suit.

Liara groaned in frustration once more "A squid! Another squid! I have...nine...no...ten of these now. Why does this dispenser simply not give me what I wish? How is it that there's no way to indicate my preference?!"

Squid, Holly would later find out, was the main product of Hakodate, and something that they celebrated yearly with great fanfare and dancing, which wasn't surprising given that it was a port town sitting on the Tsugaru Strait. Frankly, given their similarity to Reaper vessels, she didn't think she could stand to look at the damn creatures ever again...but the Japanese didn't seem to have the same problem.

"Liara, honey...seriously? I think it's some sort of scam. You know, put in a bunch of plain looking pins, and then make the nice looking ones tough to get? You don't even know if this vending machine has any more of the one you want. And...um...the Japanese are also kind of coo-coo crazy about making weird collections of things in general. I never quite understood it myself. But clearly someone is getting rich off of this..."

"You didn't find it so strange when you purchased ten or twelve different model kits at that store this morning in...what was it called...Nanae?"

"Hey! That's...that's different. Model ships are...that's a skill you know? I make things, like with my hands? And then everyone can enjoy and admire them when they visit us at home"

"And does that include the statues of women in improbably configured outfits with cat ears on their head, stricken with whatever disease causes their eyes to grow to the size that they are?"

Holly held up a finger, then dropped it, looking sheepish.

"That...that was more for private display and appreciation...I mean...OUR appreciation...together."

Liara narrowed her eyes in a slightly warning expression.

"Hmmmm...well, these future hypothetical visitors, they can enjoy my collection as well, right next to your ships."

She tapped on her omni, and made yet another purchase. A small, satisfying "thunk" issued from the tray at the bottom of the dispenser.

At 10 credits a pop, they weren't exact the most expensive habit to have picked up, but at the same time, Liara had also managed to spend over 1000 credits on her collection thus far...and most of that had been expended trying to acquire whatever the exact pin she had desired on their previous visits, and having to deal with multiple copies of the same thing instead. Holly just contented herself with the possibility that she could maybe melt down the extras into something far more useful.

But she had to admit: for the price, they were of surprisingly high quality and craftsmanship.

Removing the small, elaborately carved chunk of metal from its plastic packaging capsule, Liara gave a brief cry of triumph.

"Ha! Goryokaku Fort, you are mine at last!" She held it up to the light, admiringly.

"Babe, if you start calling these things, 'My Precious', I'm going to seriously reconsider bringing you back to Japan again, for at least a good long while.

Liara blinked for a few moments, clearly not getting the reference.

Holly smirked softly, holding up her hands. "Never mind, it's a long sto-...wow...have you never read Tolkien before? Lord Of The Rings? He's kind of a big deal still, in Earth literature."

Liara wrapped her arms around Holly's shoulders and leaned in, returning the smirk almost identically "Have you ever read Veela J'Horan's 'That Place Promised Us In Youth?"

Now it was Holly's turn to blink in confusion.

"Alright...you win this round."

"Good, now how about you give your triumphant wife a victory kiss? And then...you can help me pick out a nice collection case to keep these things in."

Shepard took Liara's hand, stepping back for a moment to then pull her to her, adding a flourish with a slight twirl, before gathering her up in her arms, cupping her face with both arms, and kissing her firmly. The two melted into each other as one, holding their liplock for the better part of a minute, before reluctantly pulling apart.

"I was thinking...you could maybe arrange them in one of my model ship cases. There's plenty of space. It could be a nice...I don't know, representation of our bonding..." Holly's voice was low and husky.

Liara playfully poked her bondmate on the tip of her nose, before giving her head a gentle nudge with her own.

"I would like my own case...well. For most of them, anyway. I imagine I will have more than enough left, to spread around...for both of us."

Holly laughed lightly, reaching underneath to tilt Liara's face upward ever so slightly, with a single finger, before giving her another brief kiss.

"Well...I suppose it's time for us to be good and bring you back to London. I had to personally promise Jefela I'd limit your exposure to the heat, and I know Ryal was eager for you to work on your training."

Holly picked up Liara's hand in her own and squeezed it tightly. It had been so wonderful to spend time with her anew, enjoying a sort of extended second honeymoon, that she could almost forget about the health issues hanging over her mate's head like a veritable Sword of Damocles. While she hadn't had any serious episodes or incidents, it was clear even over the last couple of weeks that she was slowing down somewhat.

Liara, mollified with having finally gotten the piece for her collection she had so desired, nodded, and smiled back, before wrapping herself around Holly's arm, walking as close to her as possible as they headed back for the ship.

"Perhaps we can come back in the next day or two?"

Holly hmmmmed softly in the back of her throat, "Mayyybe."

In actuality, she had something slightly different in mind for their next outing.

* * *

"This isn't Japan." Liara noted dryly, when they headed out later on in the week.

"Well, technically, no. It's Iceland. Mountainous, volcanic terrain, hot spring baths, friendly people with odd customs and exceedingly weird food. But without the intense sunlight and heat that causes me to spontaneously burst into flames if I step outside of the shade. So you know...I kind of figured it's a win/win compromise sort of situation."

Holly smiled sheepishly at Liara's slightly disdainful expression.

"But I can't add to my pin collection here."

"No...no, they don't sell weird pins in vending machines here. I checked..."

_Made goddamn sure ahead of time, more like it._

"...but I've got something way better to show you than metal trinkets. Promise!"

_Assuming my luck holds out._

The air was crisp, and though it was the height of summer, the temperature never got much past sixty degrees Fahrenheit. The ship itself had been parked on a particularly rocky outcropping just outside of Thingvellir, close to the continental plate divide. At this time of year, the ground was covered in a carpet of emerald green mossy plant life, trees in full bloom. Iceland had, due to its small population and isolated location, been almost entirely overlooked by the Reapers during their invasion; thus, the native environment was practically unspoiled.

The two of them had moved up to perch on top of the _Modesty Blaise_ itself, and it had taken Shepard some doing to get Liara there, in her current condition. Fortunately, Liara had realized that an application of biotics to shift her personal mass appropriately was still not overly taxing for her body.

The Asari's lips tugged up in a slight smile, and she lazed back in one of the beach chairs that Holly had brought up.

"Alright. I will admit to some curiosity at this point. Honestly love, I'm just happy to be here with you."

"And I'm willing to believe that you are spending only slightly less than half of your time plotting out your next _gashapon_ acquisition."

A soft punch on the arm and a sweet smile was Holly's reward.

She leaned in, and purred against the side of Liara's head, near one of the ear flaps, giving it a little lick.

"You realize hitting only turns me on, right?"

"Then don't make me be nice to you..."

Liara leaned in, nuzzling her head against Holly's shoulder, inhaling the scent of her fair, and threading her fingers through it.

Holly cupped Liara's face, holding it close to hers; their mouths found each other, and the two fell into an increasingly heated and deepening series of kisses. Liara's lips parted, welcoming her bondmates tongue, playfully wrestling against each other. Holly's hand began to cup the fullness of her wife's breast, thumb-tip tracing teasing little flicks against the stiffening nipple, when suddenly, she remembered the entire purpose of the trip.

Under normal circumstances, she'd have been more than happy to conveniently "forget", but if she could pull this off, it would so be worth it. And it was just enough of a longshot...

She cracked one eye open, trying to keep up with the increased ardor coming from her mate, while simultaneously scanning the skies quickly, not an easy feat in the slightest.

But then, she saw what she had come for.

Suddenly breaking the kiss, Holly murmured excitedly "There! Look look look! Up, up...it's happening!"

Liara shook her head, frowning; in her more libidinous state, she wondered what could be so damn important, but looked up as instructed, all the same.

A coruscating green ribbon of energy danced in the darkened sky. It was faint, but she could most definitely make it out. The smile on her face grew, until it matched the childlike expression already plastered on Holly's.

Shepard pointed excitedly to it. "Can you see it! It's kinda rare this time of year, but there it is! Only seen it once before."

Liara curled up closer, and whispered. "What...what is it? Is it natural?"

With a proud smirk on her face, Holly answered, "_Aurora Borealis._ Or less Latin-y, the Northern Lights. It's ah...solar energy particles hitting the Earth's magnetic field...or something."

The Asari simply started, almost dumbstruck, for a good few minutes, before breathing out, "I've never seen anything like it before in my life..."

Holly chuckled, "Yeah. I know. I double checked. I guess Thessia doesn't have them, because the eezo in the environment does something unusual to the magnetosphere. Although I was taking a chance you hadn't seen the phenomenon on some other world."

Liara simply shook her head in silence.

Holly was looking straight ahead, studying her mate intently, for the better part of ten minutes. She then sighed very delicately, and murmured.

"And that's the other sight I was hoping to see."

"Hmmm?" Liara was mostly distracted now by the light show in the sky, barely tilting her head back towards Holly's direction.

"You've been through so much over the last few years, Liara. Through a lot of dark, hard sh...crap. You had to grow up fast, faster than most other Maidens. But despite everything what you've had to do, the things you've had to see...I like that the innocent scientist I first met and fell in love with can still come out without too much effort."

Liara's breath caught in her throat for a moment, a faint green glimmer reflected in her tear-filled eyes. She couldn't help herself, reaching out for her love, fingers tangling hard, possessively in long red locks, as she began to practically devour her.

Holly wasn't expecting the meld, but was more than willing to submit. Seeing the wonder of the aurora for the first time through Liara's eyes made the moment all the sweeter.

* * *

The short night cycle had come to an end, and dawn was quickly approaching. She nuzzled at Liara once more, the two having slowly undressed each other, making love under the all-too-brief appearance of the aurora. Their clothes were scattered on top of them, forming something of a makeshift blanket.

While she had landed the ship in a rather remote and otherwise inaccessible outcropping, she figured they needed to get back inside soon; it wouldn't do to have someone stumble upon them out in the open like this.

Half an hour later, they sat together in the galley, eating breakfast; neither had bothered to get fully dressed.

Over the rim of her coffee cup, Liara asked, "So...next time, we go back to Japan?". She followed it up with an almost childlike smile.

Holly blanched somewhat at this, "Ah...well...um...actually, I was thinking it's probably about time for us to pay a visit to Captain Uhuru's family in Tanzania. I did make a very serious promise to carry that out, and it's kinda overdue. But we can hit the beaches there as well..I'm told they have some really nice ones. But then next week, we have to cool it a bit, because Allers is having that media event, and I promised her we'd be around to participate in it."

Liara nodded, "Of course. But...hopefully soon? I'm only two or three pins away from finishing up my first set."

Holly laughed lightly, "You know, weren't you still like, the Shadow Broker, just the other day? Instead of struggling with these weird and obviously rigged little dispensing machines, why don't you just put in a call to Feron, and have his agents obtain whatever pins you want, and send them on to you?".

Liara paused in mid-sip, tilting her head curiously, as she thought it over.

"You're seriously suggesting that I utilize the resources of one of the most powerful information brokers in the entire Galaxy in order to complete my collection."

"Damn right I am. Think how much easier it'll be. And, you know...it'll drive the conspiracy nuts crazy, if they get wind of it. If nothing else, Feron will probably find it highly amusing, knowing him..."

"Oh...yes. Well..I suppose I COULD do that, yes! That...that would make it a much more pleasant experience. Collecting, I mean."

Holly murmured slightly under her breath "Yeah, no kidding."

Liara gently kicked her under the table, but smiled. "You know...you're quite insufferably brilliant, on occasion."

Caught mid-chew with a mouthful of toast, Holly mumbled, "You forgot fantastically sexy..."

"Oh, that's hardly an uncommon occurrence."

Holly quickly swallowed, then laughed, "Well..just for that, Mrs. T'Soni, I suppose we could swing by Japan one more time, before we head home. We can hit it in just an hour or two."

"Hmmmm...an hour or two...you know, that gives us just enough time..."

Holly rose, walking over, and very gently straddling Liara's lap, reaching down to gently stroke her swollen abdomen, then leaned in to kiss both her cheeks, before breathing out.

"I have absolutely no idea what you could possibly mean."

The weather in Japan was still atrocious when they arrived for their next short visit, but Holly would have braved the fires of Hell itself for the look on her wife's face when she managed to get exactly the pin she wanted on the very first try.


	29. Now I Know How Joan Of Arc Felt

**A/N: **This was a very difficult chapter to start, for some reason. To the point where my brain gave me a new idea to work with, and I actually started writing an entirely different story instead, called "Pretty Good Year", which is a nice romance piece between Traynor and Liara, and is a sequel of sorts to Old Soul. Please feel free to check it out, review, etc etc. :-)

Regardless, it felt like I just couldn't get started on this one. Fortunately my Editrix Supreme, **Caracal22**, came up with a good POV idea to start from, and once I got past the beginning inertia, the rest came out well enough (I hope). And, as always, this chapter, which was a tricky one to write, would be far weaker without her guidance and input. A thousand thank-yous, as always!

Next installment has more or less been already written, so expect that in a week or less. Gives me time to catch up on the huge reading backlog I still have *heh*.

* * *

It was a gorgeous September day in Trafalgar Square, with a soft breeze, and temperatures around a perfect 20 degrees Celsius; as nice a day as anyone could have possibly hoped for. A day entirely unlike the same one last year: The Battle of London, when Earth was finally retaken from the Reapers, and the resultant aftermath...what some had begun to poetically refer to as "The Quieting Pulse."

A year since the Reapers underwent a monumental sea change, as one; a year since they had made their startling transformation from an implacable, Godlike foe of lifekind, dedicated to the single-minded purpose of wiping out all life in the Galaxy into an almost completely detached and silent beneficial force of nature, quietly repairing and making amends for the damage they had caused. Damage that might have taken the better part of a decade or longer to recover from was nearly complete within the city itself, and already the Reapers were moving out elsewhere into the world.

One couldn't help but wonder: When the physical destruction was remedied in full, when the Galaxy was brought back to the state it had been in before Sovereign had opened the first volley against the Citadel Races and beyond...where would the Reapers go? What would they do? It was a topic that academics and military strategists spent sleepless nights debating, with a wide spectrum of theories springing forth; anything from "return to the dark spaces outside the Galaxy" to "engage in a singular bout of self-destruction" to the more conspiratorial "reveal their true purpose and once again engage in hostilities, having secretly sabotaged everything they had rebuilt."

In contrast to the long, heavy shadow they cast on that day, a year ago, the Reapers themselves now seemed to be something of an afterthought at the "Rally for a Brighter Tomorrow", being held within the Square and throughout much of the main city of London itself. Part victory celebration, part memorial, and part unity demonstration, the message was clear: Earth was the final, decisive battleground in the war against the Reapers, but it was the rest of the Galaxy coming together as one that finally saw the battle for liberty and freedom being won.

While the majority of the crowd was Human, there were no small numbers of Turians, Asari, and Quarians, with a respectable smattering of Salarians, Krogan, and even Geth. The mood carried aloft on the gentle breeze was bright and upbeat, with various pockets here and there, of prayer circles and solemn remembrances of all who died or otherwise had lost pieces of their lives to the War; indeed, it was a curiously odd mix of spectacular carnival, old time revival, and introspective reflection.

Shepard had tried her best to keep a low profile, but it was exceedingly difficult for the Hero of the Galaxy to avoid attention, especially on this day. Regardless, Holly DID want to be there. She kept mostly to the quieter memorial services, primarily meeting with family and friends of those who had given their lives to the war effort.

At noon, however, she had given a speech at Nelson's Column, where tall scaffolding had been erected around the base, creating a large, central dais from which speakers throughout the day could be heard. In her speech, she extolled the bravery and sacrifice not only of Humankind, but of all races in the Galaxy, most of whom had also had their own homeworlds ravaged by the Reapers.

It was a masterstroke, in terms of timing: The war rally made it oh-so-difficult for groups such as Terra Firma, Humanis and Westerlund to protest, without also simultaneously attacking the remembrance of the war itself, as well.

"_Which is precisely why Diana and I went to all the trouble to get this all set up for this day." _Jillian Edwards thought to herself, as she took in the sweeping scope of the packed crowds, high up on the terrace of the National Gallery, where she and the rest of the media crews had been stationed.

Officially, the event was being sponsored by various NGO's and volunteer groups across the Systems Alliance, as well as from the other Citadel Races, but in the grand scheme of things, Allers was one of the chief motivating forces behind the entire setup, with additional monies brought in from any number of black budgets. It was yet another weapon in the arsenal of the war for hearts and minds. A struggle which was turning into an increasing, stalemated slog; while Humanis, Westerland and similar "pro-human/anti-alien" groups were on the defensive, they still had managed to find remarkable traction and resiliency. The novelty of the "Tiger Mama Tapes" had worn off; even the scandal with Khalisah al-Jilani was starting to fade, at least in terms of acting as a weight around Westerland's neck. They had cut her loose after barely a week, and that had bought them some small amount of redemption.

A long, unceasing drum roll seemed to settle between the two camps, as if waiting for the next great disruptive blow to be struck, and upset the balance in one direction or the other, once and for all.

"_But for today, "The Good Guys" are scoring points by the boatload."_

Jillian watched as Allers was finishing up her speech, more of her "ah shucks" brand of interaction that made her such a valuable media asset in the first place. She was quite the sight to behold.

Of course, Edwards was a bit biased as well, to be certain; there had been almost immediate smoldering flirtation between the two of them when she had accepted the job of personal assistant almost six months ago. It had built up to an almost intolerable, aching intensity between the two of them, until sparks practically flew whenever they made contact, until they at long last literal feel head over heels into bed with each other.

What began as an "employment arrangement with extreme fringe benefits" was turning into something more. At least...in her heart of hearts, that's what Jillian felt; that's what she wanted to believe. It was hard not to be guarded, not to be skeptical of the flash and spectacle, especially when dealing with someone like Allers, in which illusion and glitter and fantasy were part and parcel of the trade...

...but when she turned to her, just last week and said...

_Jilly-bean, I just want you to know...you're the best thing that's happened to me in years. Maybe...ever. You know. I just thought you should hear that, because I probably don't say it enough..."_

Oh sure...it wasn't "I love you" or "Lets get married, sweetie!". But Jillian knew that for Diana...in her own way, it was the next best thing.

"Alright, I can see the powers that be waving at me to wrap it up, guys, so before I go, I just want to say...you rock! We rock! All of us here! So many of us came together on this spot, about a year ago...either literally, or in the name of all of us...and started a new age of peace and freedom. I mean think about it...some of these science folks, they think the Cycles the Reapers were repeating? Lasted over a billion years. BILLION. With a B! And we, WE were the ones, all of us, who finally beat the shit out of what was the closest thing to true evil anyone had ever seen in their lives. I'm pretty damn proud that all of us, all of the races, were the ones to bring it all to an end. So let's not lose that momentum, okay? Lets not lose that feeling. Lets try to stick together, like we did last year, for as long as we can...because if we do, there's no telling what we can achieve!"

A deafening roar surged through the crowd; signs were waves, cheers cried out, horns blown, cups rattled. Diana trotted off the stage, yelling "Have a damn candied apple for me, would ya?!"

There was a hover-transport, something of a long, black flying limousine, that was waiting to take Allers away, all as part of the security detail. The standard operating procedure was to have it head off into the distance to a secure location, as another transport swept the next speaker to the podium.

A message came over the communicator in Jillian's ear.

"Hey Jilly, hold on, I'm going to have the limo float over to the Gallery and say hi...gonna pick you up, and we can snuggle our brains out in celebration."

The other woman laughed, scarlet coloring her cheeks. She then promptly shook her head. "Baby...this is an open channel...and you should probably just head straight away, I'll meet you at the landing pad in a few minutes..."

"Fuck that, I'm not going to just zip off like some politician. I wanna say hi to the crowd, as close as they'll let me."

The limo hovered about 10 feet off the ground, as it made it's way over to the camera platform. The sunroof pulled back with a soft hiss, and Diana popped out, all smiles and waves for the crowd below.

"Hi everyone! Sorry, this is as close as Security says I can get. Otherwise, I'd totally be partying it up with you guys right now."

Someone in the crowd suddenly called out, "Hey, Diana! Catch!"

An object was tossed out, gently arching towards Allers.

It smacked into her hands as she reached out, wrapping her fingers around the neck...

Diana glanced at the bottle of Epstein's Steel Rail Lager, a hometown favorite on Beckenstein.

"Oh my God, whoever just threw that to me...you? Was it you? Dude, you fucking rock! I haven't had this in years!"

She twisted off the cap, almost squealing with childlike glee as the built up pressure was released, spraying almost half of the bottle's contents out over the crowd. She took a triumphant swig, swallowing hard as she held the bottle up high in triumph, to the cheers of the nearby crowd.

"Oh God Di, you are such an attention whore sometimes..."

Diana reached up to touch her own ear communicator and purred "Yeah...but I'm YOUR whore, babe."

"...that is the sweetest, sleaziest thing you've ever said to me."

Diana gave another laugh, and pumped her fist towards the crowd. She was clearly in her element.

Fifteen seconds later, there was a loud "whump" on the front of the limo. A cloaking field dropped, revealing a male Turian, kitted out in what was colorfully known as a "Wu-Xia Rig": a specialized armor enhancement that used a meshed network of micro mass effect generators to allow the wearer to make incredible leaps, mid-air twists and landings.

He pulled out a pistol, silently leveling it straight at Allers.

She tried to duck, almost making it down into the limo, crying out in pain as she took a bullet to the shoulder.

He fired several times down into the limo itself from the roof, through the open sunroof, before suddenly executing an absolutely impossible-seeming leap upward into the air, then bounding off the top of Nelson's head on the Column itself, before the cloaking field recharged; he then faded into thin air once more.

The crowd burst into an absolute panic.

Security did their best to try and chase after the assailant.

The limo zoomed off, the driver signaling on the emergency channels the current status of the situation, and that he was heading to the nearest hospital.

Jillian stood, rooted to the spot, absolutely gripped with cold, dread fear clutching her guts.

"B...baby?" she croaked.

There was a soft groan, mixed in with a wet sounding gurgle, as Diana struggled to speak over the comm.

"Jilly? Guy...guy shot me..."

"Diana! Please...hold on! It's going to be okay, they're going to get you to a hospital. Just please! I'm begging you...hold on!"

"'s bad...wound. Blood...lot of...oh...God. Jilly-bean...just in case..."

Jillian couldn't breathe.

"No! Don't you say it! You're going to be alright!"

"...never got a chance to say...I lov..."

The line suddenly went dead.

Trembling quietly in the breeze, hot tears rolled down Jillian's cheeks, as she finally collapsed onto the platform, high, keening wails of grief piercing the air.

In the span of barely ten seconds, triumph had turned into absolute terror.

* * *

_**ALLERS ASSASSINATED AT MEMORIAL RALLY**_

_Second Star News Network_

_September 12th, 2187_

_Candlelight vigils have begun to spring up across the globe, as the death of Diana Allers becomes a focal point in the struggle between various political groups, reflecting a sometimes acrimonious conflict that has emerged since the last Parliamentary elections._

_Allers, an independent reporter who rose to prominence last year during the Reaper War, when she was embedded on board the Normandy, earning her the affectionate moniker of "Shepard's Reporter", was fatally shot by an allegedly Turian assassin around 2:30pm London time, at the "Rally for a Brighter Tomorrow." She was flown to the Royal London Hospital where she was pronounced 'dead on arrival' due to massive hemorrhaging and blood loss._

_The reporter had finished addressing the crowd at the rally, and had reportedly deviated from security procedures to continue speaking with those in attendance, standing up through the sunroof of her armored limo as it hovered close to the crowd._

_A bottle of beer was tossed to Allers, who began to celebrate. Seconds afterwards, an assassin decloaked, fired several times at Allers as she fled back into the limo, before making his escape. Investigators are looking into the possibility that the bottle toss was part of a distraction undertaken by a co-conspirator._

_The System Alliance Department of Homeworld Security has come under extreme criticism for the handling of the situation in light of the attack, especially from Scotland Yard and Interpol, both groups claiming that they were intentionally kept out of the loop, and prevented from mounting their own effective security procedures for the rally._

_Secretary-General Alexis Valentine made a short but determined statement on the steps of DHS Headquarters in The Hague at 9:30pm this evening, local Netherlands time._

"_Let me assure all the peoples of Earth and beyond that this heinous crime, this act of terrorism against a popular member of the media, who devoted her life to bringing the truth to the public, will not go unanswered for. Neither I nor anyone under me will rest until the perpetrator is brought to justice. And you have my personal guarantee on that. If the DHS is unable to bring this situation to resolution within the next three months, I will personally step down as Secretary-General; that is how serious I take what has happened this morning._

_Jillian Edwards, Allers personal assistant, the last person to speak with her, and also rumored to be her lover, could not be reached for comment at this time._

* * *

It was a grey, wet day...fitting enough, given the occasion. A thick swath of humanity, stretching out for almost a mile in diameter, surrounded the great structure of the Washington National Cathedral, located in the Northeast American Republic's administrative district of New Columbia. In the old days, it had been known as Washington D.C., and had served as the capital of the former United States of America, before The Great Dissolution occurred in the late 21st Century.

Holographic projectors ringed just outside of the Cathedral itself, casting a pale, sickly light on the crowds, allowing them to view the proceedings.

Inside, the Cathedral itself was almost dangerously over-filled, as the funeral commenced. A black closed casket, composed of dark, highly polished wood sat solemnly perched upon a raised platform. In keeping with her final will and testament, Diana Allers had been cremated upon completion of the initial autopsy, with her remains forwarded along to Beckenstein, where a smaller, but no less heartfelt service was to be held in a month's time from now.

Jillian was dressed in deep, somber black, a pillbox hat and mourning veil obscuring her puffy eyes. In the pew across the aisle from her sat Admiral Hackett, Garrus, and Shepard.

"Any luck so far on finding out what happened, Admiral?"

Holly spoke softly, trying keep from disturbing the proceedings. They were both scheduled to eulogize her shortly, and she was determined to try and find out as much as she could.

"Actually, there HAS been some progress. DHS thinks they've just identified the assassin. Thanks to information provided by our Turian allies." Hackett glanced over to Garrus, who was huddled in close at Holly's other side, and gave him a nod.

Garrus hummed softly in the back of his throat in acknowledgement.

"The Primarch was...shall we say...particularly displeased that it was a Turian who murdered Allers. It's managed to play right into the hands of Humanis and Westerlund, even though the thought that any Turian would have a personal grudge against Diana at all is...well, it's patently ridiculous. Still, Victus is taking it all rather personal, which is why he's insisted on making an official state visit for the funeral. I'm sure he'll be gratified to hear that the database he provided you has helped make a difference."

Hackett nodded once. "We've got a name now: Tallik Berundin. The stealth field and mass reduction rig certainly seems to fit his MO. Now we just need to figure out who hired him."

Holly let out a slow, even breath and murmured "Well, with Homeworld Security and Turian Intelligence both on the job now...well...I hope the fucker got paid well enough, because I don't think he's going to get much of a chance to spend it. Although it..."

Holly trailed off.

Garrus glanced over, quizzically "What's that, Shepard?"

"Ah...nothing."

It was too neat, was what she was about to say. Humanis, or some sort of extremist fringe thereof, was the obvious suspect. But murdering Allers simply made a martyr of her. Using an alien to do the job was a tactical move suggesting an attempt to throw off the scent while stirring up anti-alien sentiment...but at the same time, whipping up the other side into the sort of passion that Diana's death had engendered seemed like too foolish a move to make it worthwhile in the end.

_Desperation, perhaps?_

Or someone...trying to make it seem that way.

It was the Infiltrator training at work now, trying to analyze the situation. Why go to all the trouble to bounce right up and shoot Allers point blank? That didn't seem like a Turian thing at all to do, unless he was being paid extra to execute it in that very particular fashion, of course. But that was still taking an incredible risk, especially when a sniper shot would have accomplished the same thing; in some ways, it would have been even more terrifying.

"Shepard...you're up."

Garrus nudged her arm gently, and startled, she suddenly rose to her feet. So lost in thought had she become, she completely missed Hackett giving his brief speech. She managed to catch it later on, and it wasn't half bad. She particularly liked the part about how "some of the greatest calls for freedom and brotherhood in history had been made in this very city", and how "fitting it is that we come here now lay to rest a champion of truth."

Holly slowly walked up, turning and then gripping the lectern. She desperately wished Liara was here, but she was having a bad day, and Dr. V'Lork had demanded that she remain in bed, despite how much Liara herself wanted to come along.

But she needed to face this alone now, despite the inner conflict she was currently experiencing; the last few weeks had shown her how much of Allers' image had been a carefully crafted fabrication. It wasn't all false, to be sure; Allers played for the side of the angels, more or less. She just had no problem getting her hands extremely dirty while doing so. Whether that had been a recent development, or was how Diana had played the game from day one...Shepard just wasn't sure.

But people didn't need to hear about that Diana right now. They needed to know...a truth, not THE truth. And Holly realized there would be time for reality another day.

"I uh...I remember the first time I met Diana Allers. She was harassing one of my security officers, and. Uh. She was um...she was really insistent, on getting onboard the _Normandy._ Despite my shall we say less-than-sterling reputation with the media. But she clearly wanted it...she wanted to tell a story that would help get people behind the war effort, in a war we could not simply afford to lose. She was convinced that the _Normandy_ was the focal point of the story...maybe she was right...case could certainly be made, I suppose."

"So I gave her a chance...'cause I thought she damn well deserved one; she lived up to that moment, to that chance she had earned for herself. She broadcast some good stories, stories that helped win the war...but she kept me honest, too. She...she was fearless."

Shepard paused for a moment.

"Yeah. That's the most important thing you need to remember about her, in the end. She lived her life, fearlessly...right up until the very last moment. She wasn't afraid to roll up her sleeves and do the hard, backbreaking work of digging up the truth and making sure people understood what was going on out there...but she also made damn sure to have fun while doing it. Some asshole can come and kill her body...but never her spirit. In that regard...they failed. Utterly."

There was a sharp intake of breath, and a fresh round of sobbing coming from Jillian up in the front row. Holly mumbled a brief ending to her impromptu speech, and somberly made her way back to the pews.

Still something damn fishy about all of this. It was dirty work they had all been engaged in, to one extent or another. She couldn't help but feel this was simply blowback from all of that; rather, she prayed to God it was simply blowback, and not something far more insidious and sinister in origin.

* * *

**One Week Later**

Sir Finnigan Cauldwell was an aging man, portly and balding, pasty skin and spotty complexion, well into his sixties. He remembered damn well what the planet was like before all this nonsense with alien species and long distance space exploration came into being. He remembered a Human race that was proud and strong, with a singular voice, before it simply was threatened to be swallowed up in some dissonant chorus of trillions of other inhuman beings; creatures who failed to understand Earth's special and unique place within the Galaxy. Who would never fully appreciate its exceptional nature.

Naturally, he found a place for himself in Humanis, having risen to the rank of Party Whip, after Armitage was shipped out to become Council Ambassador. Why the woman wanted to bother with even consorting with aliens was beyond him; if it had been his decision, he would have recalled the Ambassador home permanently and left it at that. On the other hand, the position did give Humanity no small amount of power and influence, despite the risk it opened up to corrupting the purity of the Terran spirit.

Regardless, it was just as well that he had stayed on in her place.

He sprawled out in the antique Louis XVI armchair, his favorite, ensconced as he was in the den of his labyrinthine estate just outside of Stratford-Upon-Avon. His wife, Lucretia, had just brought him his tea and biscuits.

Reaching out with short, stubby fingers, and cramming one of the chocolate-frosted digestives into his mouth, quickly washing it down with a swig of tepid Darjeeling. He snorted with disgust as he regarded the latest news headline displayed across his datapad.

"Queen Alice to award the Elizabeth Cross to Diana Allers". Pah! Apparently the old bat is relaxing the requirements, no doubt trying to score cheap political points for herself. I tell you, Lucretia, how I long for the days when the Royals comported themselves with at least some dignity and decorum. Oh! To have lived in such times."

Grumbling as he gently smashed another biscuit into his mouth, then mumbling around the food, he continued, "To bestow an honor reserved for our own military men and women on this...this muckraking trollop!" He tossed his pad down onto the table, the angry clatter ringing through room and down the hall.

Mrs. Cauldwell simply nodded her head once, maybe twice, and softly said "Yes, dear. Of course, dear."

As she had for years.

One of the servants - possibly the cook? - poked her head in, her face stark white.

"B..B...Begging your pardon, Sir Finnigan, but there are some people here from the Ministry of Defense who are escorting...oh!"

She trotted quickly away, as Secretary-General Alexis Valentine strode through the door, flanked by several heavily armed members of the Systems Alliance military police, who in turn were also backed by members of the British Homeguard.

"What is the meaning of this! You can't come barging into a man's private house! I have my rights! I have an entire team of solicitors ready to pounce upon the bloody lot of you! Don't think I don't know why you've come around...trying to intimidate one of Britain and Earth's last true patriot sons...!"

Valentine tilted her head slightly, which seemed to prompt the guards at her side to cock their rifles, and level them upon Sir Finnigan.

"Finnigan Cauldwell." she smiled, cold, unkind, full of barely contained malice. "It is a pleasure to meet you at last. I always suspected you'd go too far. I'm sure you'd thought you'd get away with it as well. Men like you always do, until the bitter end."

"What are you prattling on about, you cow!?"

She held up a small holoprojector in her palm. Thumbing the button on the side, an image of Tallik Berundin, looking quite worse for the wear, blood coming down the side of one head, his left mandible a mangled wreck. He spoke, in a soft and broken voice:

"It was Cauldwell. He...he worked through intermediaries of course. Didn't think I knew it was him, but I never take a job if I can't figure out who's pulling the strings at the top. They say he lost it completely, after Allers exposed his son's corrupt dealings offworld. Wanted her dead...willing to pay a hell of a lot of credits to make it happen, make it public. Risky job...but it was so much money..."

The snapped the image off, and returned both hands to clasp behind her back.

"What...who the devil is he?! What are you going all on about!?"

"No point in feigning ignorance, Sir Finnigan. Not anymore." Valentine spoke the title with as much contempt and disrespect as she could muster without seeming overly savage about it. "We have you. We have your co-conspirator. You are going to disappear now. Into a very deep, dark hole. This is the end for you. And, I imagine, for that group of barely competent fools you call a political party as well."

Cauldwell flew into a rage, trying to lash out physically at Valentine with his nearby cane.

"THIS IS MADNESS! You can't just come in here! You need a warrant. I have rights! I demand to speak to my solicitor! I HAVE RIGHTS!"

One of the guards smashed him hard across the jaw with the butt of his rifle, prompting him to crumpled down into a whimpering pile on the floor. Cauldwell's wife looked like a frightened deer caught in the headlights, too scared to move, to speak; she trembled as if stricken with palsy.

Valentine kneeled down, smirking triumphantly, "Actually, no. You don't. Thanks to the Homeworld Defense Extraordinary Empowerment Act that your party was chiefly responsible for pushing through right after the last election, I now have the ability to declare people like you domestic terrorists, a threat to homeworld security. And to do exactly what I'm doing now, which is turning you over to the SAAF. I suppose I should say thank you."

She rose, gliding slowly out of the library, pausing just outside, and looking over her shoulder.

"Bring his wife as well. Round up the rest of the staff. We're not done here. Not by a longshot."

Sir Finnigan protested his innocence until the very last, screaming and whimpering all at the same time, his cries fading out as Valentine departed, a wry smug smile of triumph emblazoned upon her lips.

* * *

Holly couldn't sleep lately. Liara did little but sleep. It created an odd sort of imbalance, where Shepard would find herself working on her model kits into the wee hours of the morning. Or watching televised broadcasts late at night, as she was doing now. Desperately trying to find an old biotiball rerun, racing results, or something to keep her mind off the dark notions and feelings swirling around in her heart over the past week.

"...interrupt this episode of 'Kooking for Krogans' to bring you this breaking story..."

Holly pulled herself up straight on the couch, and turned the volume up.

"...can now confirm that at 4:08 pm London Time yesterday, Sir Finnigan Cauldwell, Party Whip for Humanis, was taken into custody, along with his wife, and his entire household staff, over what the Systems Alliance Department of Homeworld Security claims is his connection to last week's assassination of Diana Allers."

Holly changed the channel, finding that the story was the same on almost all the main broadcast frequencies.

"...Second Star News Network, with a breaking story: Rioting has broken out in cities across the world, with flash mobs forming and attacking Humanis party offices across the globe after the shocking revelation that Humanis Assistant Party Leader and Whip, Sir Finnigan Cauldwell was taken away by DHS Agents yesterday, over his alleged role in the recent assassination of Diana Allers."

The channel changed again.

"...has been declared a domestic terrorist and enemy combatant, and is being detained in a military prison without access to counsel; ironically enough, an act legal thanks to legislation that Sir Finnigan himself was largely responsible for enacting..."

*click*

"...Prime Minister has summoned an emergency meeting of his entire Cabinet. Well placed sources are already beginning to predict the imminent collapse of the current Systems Alliance Government..."

Holly muted the feed, dumbstruck, a cold, hard knot of fear blossoming painfully in her core.

Suddenly, it all seemed to fit into place. It was to clean...too perfect. How could it not have been orchestrated from the beginning?

Shepard rose, shaking like a leaf, as she forced herself, step by step, over to the communications terminal. By the time Steven Hackett appeared on the display, she had already had time to pour herself a drink, and he caught her in mid-swallow.

"Shepard...it's late. What's on your mind?"

Holly stood rock still, only moving her eyes towards the screen, hand clutching the tumbler of whiskey in a deathgrip.

"Seen the news...Admiral? "

"Oh...Oh! You mean Cauldwell? Yes! I just heard about it half an hour ago. Figured I'd call you first thing in the morning...but I can only assume you already heard..."

"About them conveniently finding a neat, nice finish to all of this? One that quickly turns the tide against Humanis, once and for all? Not barely a week after Diana was martyred? Fuck yes. And I didn't even hear that Berundin had been caught and interrogated...but I dug around a little while I was waiting for you to respond to my call."

"Yes...well...apparently The Systems Alliance Intelligence Network tracked him down two days ago, kept it hush hush...Shepard?" He started at her, a quizzical note rising up in his voice, "What's this all about?"

Holly didn't speak, not for the better part of a minute.

"Swear to me, Steven. Swear to me that this isn't all some sort of dog and pony act. Please...PLEASE tell me this isn't something the military is pulling just to get Humanis out of the way...that they let Diana get killed...or WORSE, that...that they..."

She couldn't make herself finish the sentence.

"Shepard...Holly. Please...listen to yourself. You realize how crazy this must sound..."

In an instant, she was on her feet, voice rising angrily.

"Crazy? Really?! As crazy as illegally bugging an elected official's office? As crazy as engineering a scandal, potentially out of whole cloth, to take down one influential reporter? As nuts as me having to come down and help you out with all of this mess, because there was talk about potentially staging a military coup? Once we start going down these slippery slopes, Admiral, how hard is it for what SHOULD be 'crazy' to become 'peace at any price'?"

She took another drink, and then stared hard at him, with a desperate expression.

"Please", she croaked. "Please tell me you didn't know anything about this...please tell me if there's something going on, you weren't involved in it..."

Hackett's eyes flashed with anger at first...and then suddenly softened.

"Holly...look, you've clearly been drinking and...it's late. But...please believe me. There's nothing sinister going on. Humanis got desperate. They got sloppy. Cauldwell couldn't help himself, and it's going to drag those bastards down at last. We've won. I promise you, there's no conspiracy behind this. You...you have to have faith in the system."

Holly half-laughed, half-sobbed, a look of bitter defeat crossing her features. "Seems not all that long ago, I was the one saying that...and you were telling me how naive I was. How quickly times change, Admiral. Well...I guess we won then, huh?"

"Holly, get some sleep. Please. We can talk in the morning. I'm sure once you've had a chance to settle down, you'll feel..."

"Goodnight, Steven..."

She cut him off, the feed going dead, plunging the room into total darkness.

* * *

A soft, keening wail, punctuated by a staccato repetition of sobs had roused Liara from her deep sleep. She glanced over to the side, found Holly missing. That half of the bed was cold, so must have been unoccupied for hours. She slowly pulled herself up onto her feet, pulling a silk robe around her, and slowly, achingly made it to the living room.

In the pale light of false dawn, which had only just begun to stream through the windows, she found Holly sitting on a chair, cradling something in her lap. As she slowly made her way over, it became apparent that it was Holly's medal case, a wide array of some of the highest military honors in the Systems Alliance Armed Forces on display within.

She laid down gentle fingers upon her bondmate's shoulder, prompting her to startle, for just a moment.

Holly turned her head upwards, regarding her with puffy, bloodshot eyes.

"Hey...I..." she spoke, in a soft, choked voice.

Liara knelt down, "Love...you look awful...what's wrong?"

She could smell the liquor on her from here.

Looking back down, and tenderly stroking the sides of the glass case, Holly spoke, barely above a mumble.

"Been with the SAAF...almost half my life. A long...long time. Was my family, when I didn't have any. I was so...really proud to be an Officer. Best thing I ever done. Best thing I ever had in my life, other than marry you. I was part of something grand. Bigger'n me. Better'n me. It gave me the strength to be my best, when bein' my best was... not easy."

She tilted her head down, tears splashing on the case as she started to cry anew.

"Was it all a lie? I fought and killed...and led so many men and women to their deaths, for all the ideals I thought the Systems Alliance stood for, for what I thought was worth saving, til the bitter end. For what Earth...stood for. And now...NOW..."

Her face became a mask of near blinding fury, as she rose up, and in one shaky, violent action, threw her medal case against the wall, where it cracked loudly.

"Lies! All of it! All fucking lies! All of their deaths, for an Earth that didn't deserved to be saved! What do I say? What do I say to all their families? All the people who died for this...this fascist bullshit!"

She sank to her knees, and started to howl in grief. Liara was on her, as fast as possible. She had no idea what had happened, what had triggered this. But she pushed the fear and confusion down, out of her mind, and simply tried her best to sooth her wife, as best as she knew how.

"It's going to be okay, Holly. Whatever it is. I promise you. Please love...please believe me."

Liara's words seemed to have a calming effect, however dilute. Holly nodded a few times, and suddenly clung to Liara in return, as if she were the last possession she had in a cold, uncaring universe...and was desperately afraid to lose her.

"I wanna...wanna go home. Lets go back home...to Thessia. That's where home is now, pretty Bluebird. You, an' the baby. Thessia...

Her fury suddenly spent, the booze and anger taking it's toll, Shepard began to collapse into deep exhaustion. Unable to carry her back to bed, Liara simply grabbed some pillows, and did her best to make her comfortable on the floor, as she watched over her.

"We will, Holly. As soon as we can." she whispered.

* * *

_**PRESIDENT DISSOLVES PARLIAMENT, CALLS FOR NEW ELECTIONS**_

_Second Star News Network_

_September 21st, 2187_

___Martial law has been declared in Seattle, which saw a night of protests turn bloody as angry mobs stormed local Humanis offices after reports of alleged connections between a high ranking party member as the assassin who killed Diana Allers emerged. At least five are reported dead, _

_In response to the mounting controversy, Helmut Koenig, Prime Minister of Systems Alliance Parliament and Nova Federalist Party Leader, met in a closed door session with his Cabinet yesterday morning. Emerging several hours later, he then contacted Alliance President Bjorn Torasson, who released the following statement at 1:00pm Reykjavik time:_

"_I have just spoken with Prime Minister Koenig, who believes that in light of the ongoing situation with the Humanis Party, which composes the chief coalition partner in the Parliament, he is currently unable to serve the people of Earth and it's many colony worlds in full faith and with the respectability the position calls for. Upon his recommendation, I am therefore dissolving the current Parliament, and will call for new elections, to take place in exactly two weeks from now, on October 4th. "_

"_The Prime Minister and I ask that we come together, during this time of crisis, and to put an end to the violence that has gripped many of our cities this night. We understand and we grieve with you...but we ask that you make your voices heard, not on the streets, but at the ballot box. We are confident that Humanity will emerge from this trying chapter stronger than ever before. I thank you all."_

_Humanis party leaders continue to proclaim their innocence, disavowing any involvement in the plot to assassinate Diana Allers, distancing themselves from Sir Finnigan Cauldwell, and referring to him as a "rogue element that stains the noble aim of our Party." They have vowed to "get to the bottom of the true situation", and that "history will see us vindicated as victims"._

* * *

**Eight Weeks Later**

A fierce, crimson mane, alabaster skin, thin, willowy build; the Human female emerged from the crowd discharging from the Star of Orion capsule hotel. Trailing a small, wheeled metal travel case behind her, a tag attached to it read, in crisp, handwritten letters:

PROPERTY OF ARTEMIS SALINGER.

Dressed in fashionable human clothes, high heels softly clacking, she made her way over to the taxi line, hovering vehicles waiting to bear their passengers to their destinations. Glancing curiously over her shoulder, she noticed a black armored limo glide smoothly up to the edge. Slowing her pace, she then turned to regard it as one of the heavily tinted windows lowered itself down.

Inside was Systems Alliance Fleet Admiral Luis Ortiz.

Giving a friendly smile, almost pulling it off with some sort of sincerity, waving his hand, beckoning to her.

"Care for a lift to the spaceport, Diana?"

She narrowed her eyes, frowning deeply for a moment as she looked around. Then clambered into the limo, facing Ortiz, if just to bring the conversation from out in the open to someplace more discrete.

The limo slowly made its way into the standard traffic lanes high above the city. The two regarded each other in silence for a few seconds.

Luis was the first to speak.

"Well, Ms. Allers. Here we are. And I must say, I'm still...quite impressed with you. I couldn't think of a single other woman who would come to me with a plan to fake her own assassination. It's quite the thing, to have to stick with for the rest of your life. Don't think your dedication to ensuring peace and stability on Earth, and elsewhere in the Human sphere of influence will soon be forgotten.

The woman spoke, in a voice that was not quite as what Diana's had been like.

"Well, I guess we should both be impressed. You weren't kidding when you said you could give me an operation to change my appearance, right down to my voice and retina patterns."

Ortiz nodded once, looking inordinately pleased with himself, "Fruits of the research Miranda Lawson, and those who worked with her undertook, in order to bring Shepard back. Not that she has any idea we've gotten a copy of it. But as a result, we can do truly incredible things, nowadays."

"Heard she took it hard. Shepard I mean."

Ortiz snorted, rolled his eyes with heavy over-exaggeration.

"Shepard wins wars...but she is distressingly naive in what it takes to win the peace. And Steven, with his willingness to embrace the _realpolitik_ of the situation...even he lacks a certain...flexibility...that these sorts of things require. Still, she doesn't seem to feel the need to publicly make a scene, to ask...uncomfortable questions. As long as that continues to be the case, I don't see any reason to have to deal with her. Given her high profile, I would prefer to leave her be."

Ortiz held out his hands, shrugging slightly, then finished, "Regardless, you made the right decision, coming to me directly with your idea."

"Yeah well...to be perfectly honest, I figured it was just a matter of time, before Humanis took a shot at me. Or before you did, more likely. I simply made the first move, before anyone else got the notion. And hey, we all got something we wanted, right? Humanis got slaughtered in the election, saner heads are in charge. And I'm sure you REALLY enjoyed destroying Cauldwell..."

Ortiz chuckled, leaning forward and steepling his fingers. "Someone had to take the fall. He was the most obvious choice; a particularly tall nail in desperate need of pounding down."

Diana smile herself, in return, "And now I'm fucking immortal. History books are going to have my name emblazoned in them for decades. Centuries. And those assholes in the Pulitzer Committee are giving me a posthumous award. Diana Allers is now the stuff of legend. Can't get much better than that, career wise."

"And now you're free to play the field once more as well, yes?" He tilted his head back and laughed, as if expecting her to find the statement as amusing as he clearly did.

Allers simply narrowed her eyes, gaze full of steel and unrealized promises. She spoke in a soft whisper.

"We all made sacrifices for the plan, Admiral. Some of us more than others."

He sighed hard through his nose, and the sudden chill in the air brought the conversation to an abrupt end.

Five minutes later, the limo pulled up to a quieter section of the spaceport.

"And here we are, Ms. Allers."

Diana reached for the handle.

Found the door was still locked.

"There is...one thing. That occurs to me."

She glanced over to him, the mood turning dangerous.

"You have a lot of problematic secrets, in that newly resculpted head of yours..."

Diana frowned, trying not to come off as livid.

"Really, Ortiz? You went to all this trouble, and NOW you start in with the threats?"

"Threats? Hmmm...such a strong word. I am just very curious...why I shouldn't take steps to ensure that Cauldwell has company."

Diana leaned in close. "I have two even stronger words for ya, Luis: Shadow. Broker."

The Admiral paled, if just slightly, backing off just an inch or two.

"All those fun conversations, discussions we had, all the planning? Everything it would take to completely bring you and your little circle of friends down? He's got a copy, and we've got an arrangement now. A fringe benefit being that he doesn't release all that info in the most damaging fashion possible, as long as he keeps hearing from me. Next check in call is right before I get on board my flight, actually."

The two locked eyes now. A contest of wills flared up silently between them.

Diana did her best to project an air of complete, assured confidence, praying her heart wasn't beating too loudly, while Ortiz torturously weighed the factor in his head. Was she bluffing? What was riskier? Keeping her detained...or letting her run free.

"Tick tock, Fleet Admiral. The bossman, he doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Another few seconds...and then the lock to the door unlatched with an audible clunk.

Ortiz had an almost angelic look on his face, "Have a safe and pleasant journey..."

The mask dropped, revealing barely contained rage and loathing behind it.

"Whomever you are."

Allers departed, doing her absolute best to walk slowly, calmly away from the limo, even pausing to turn and blow Ortiz a small kiss as the limo pulled away into the sky.

With trembling hands, she pulled a small portrait out of her suit pocket: Jillian and herself..her old self, in a casual embrace, taken about a week before she was 'killed'.

"Sorry Jilly-bean" she whispered. "I wasn't any good for you in the end, anyhow."

Holding the picture up against her chest, right over her heart, she closed her eyes, and wished she could have said the same was true in reverse.

Ten minutes later, Artemis Salinger boarded the ship that would bear her aloft to the rest of her life.


	30. Do Not Go Gentle

**A/N: **I would just ask that you please read ALL the way through first, before you review, for this one. Thanks :-)

* * *

The outcome of the election was a forgone conclusion; no one was truly surprised. Public sentiment had turned so sharply against Humanis, which, after Diana Allers' assassination, had been so successfully painted as a semi-terroristic political faction cut from the same cloth as Cerberus had been, that their downfall was assured.

A private celebratory ball, throw quickly together in anticipation of a crushing victory, had been arranged by Hackett and Tevos, held in the new Asari Consulate on Earth. Located in Paris, France, the large function hall that served as the ballroom had a breathtaking view of the Eiffel Tower through a gigantic cathedral window, which followed the pleasing, curving shape of traditional Asari architecture. The dance floor itself had been made from planks of a dark, rich wood that was native to the equatorial regions of the Asari Homeworld, colored an almost blood red. A band composed of both Asari and Human musicians played a wide range of traditional dance pieces from various cultures native to both races.

Holly had been quiet, almost sullen, for most of the night thus far. She was still nursing a grievous sense of distrust and disdain regarding her suspicions into the actual causes behind Diana's death, and Liara had been doing her best to try and bring her out of her shell. She was clad in a filmy ballgown of light, sea-foam green, which stood out as a welcome oasis of colorful, flowing sensuality against the starkness of the starched white dress uniform her mate was wearing.

Still, the overall mood of the party was extremely jovial and upbeat. As the election results for the various colonies and territorial words of the Systems Alliance were announced over the course of the evening, cheers could be heard, with an overall feeling of triumph ever-swelling as the night wore on. Alcohol flowed freely from the open bar, and the catering had been top-notch, with any number of delicacies from both Earth and Thessia readily available.

The two of them had been on Earth now for the better part of two months, and as Liara was beginning to enter the final few months of her pregnancy, she seemed to have an almost radiant glow about her, and the dress had been tailored to accentuate and celebrate her body's current form, as opposed to trying to disguise it. Still, the days where the need for bed rest overwhelmed her were growing in number, and it was only a matter of time before she needed to return to Thessia.

It was with that reason in mind that Holly had protested the two of them taking to the dance floor, but Liara had been insistent.

"I feel like celebrating, love. It sounds like things are going to start getting much better for your people, and we can finally go back home. Besides...some are no doubt murmuring over your...what's the word...glumness? If dancing with your wife can't cheer you up, then I dare say that nothing else will."

Holly couldn't help herself, finally cracking the first smile she had allowed to form on her face all night, if not the first for days. In truth, there was very little she could deny her bondmate, and her mood was infectious.

"Alright" Holly murmured. "But I guess we'll have to take it easy. I can already feel Dr. V'Lork glowering at us from her table."

Liara gave a spritely laugh at this, then leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. "Oh...she was, earlier. Which is why I asked Tevos' attache to go over to distract her with idle conversation. We can sneak in a couple of dances, I'm sure, and she'll be none the wiser."

"Alright...but I get to lead this time."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, my love."

They fell into an easy waltz. After the grueling training regimen that Garrus had put them through for their wedding day months before, the two had decided to keep their newly acquired skills honed, going out of their way to dance when they could, over their various trips across the Earth. The need for Liara to watch her health had finally brought that to an end a couple of weeks ago

"Just ONE dance." Holly said, with a more serious expression. "Maybe two. Seriously, babe, It's bad enough that you're here with me tonight."

Liara smiled lightly, leaning over to plant a tender kiss on Holly's cheek "Thank you, love. I promise, I'm doing my best to be careful. After we dance, we can start saying our good nights, and I will go back straight to bed."

Holly nodded once, apparently mollified. Taking Liara's hands in hers, they began to gently glide around the dance floor, in easy, practiced steps that had become almost second nature to them.

Shepard held her close, the look in her eyes suggesting that in her mind, there was only the two of them in the world at the moment. She leaned in, her lips pressed against Liara's ear as she whispered.

"I guess we better enjoy this now...our dancing days are coming to an end...at least for a while."

Liara gave a light laugh and looked up. "I'm sure after the first few months, we'll have any number of baby-sitters, my Father included, who will be ready, willing, and able to watch over Hippolyta...then we can pick up where we left off. And don't you dare get rusty."

Holly finally laughed at this "Worried I'll fall that quickly into bad habits, huh?"

"Just remember what Garrus put us through last time. I'll leave you to HIS tender mercies again, if I have to."

"Yikes, now that you put it like that..."

As they continued to dance, Liara gave another laugh, feeling slightly more lightheaded than usual. As first, she attributed this to the jubilant mood, and the dancing, but an increasing sense of achy lethargy seemed to take hold, despite her best efforts.

Holly quickly noticed the change in her. She brought the dance to a quick end, and began to guide Liara back to their table. "Whoa...you look like maybe you've pushed it a bit. Lets get you sitting down for a moment, alright?"

Liara simply nodded, a slight tightness in her chest forming.

"Yes, I think that would be best."

They made it back to the table, and Holly leaned in to ask, "Better?"

Liara nodded silently once again, and then softly responded "Yes that's...that's helping, I think. But...I'm really quite thirsty now..."

Holly started to look around, to pour Liara a glass of water, but found the pitcher was empty. She looked back to Liara, and reached over to give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Okay...I'm going to get you some...and I think maybe I'm going to get the Doctor to come back with me. You're looking a little pale...no arguments this time, alright?"

"No...I think this time, you're absolutely right. I'll just sit right here then."

Shepard rose, leaned in to kiss Liara on the forehead, and turned, heading over to the bar. Liara took a deep breath, trying to banish the ever-growing tightness in her chest. It had seemed that what little respite sitting down had offered had been fleeting at best. She'd be more concerned if it weren't for the fact that the Doctor would soon be coming back to the table.

She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, drawing upon the training that she had been undertaking with Ryal for the past few months. She felt a wave of relief at first, as it seemed to help; she could feel herself relaxing, the initial tenseness that had suffused her form seeping out, albeit more slowly than she had been used to in the past.

Still...it seemed harder to breath than just a minute ago.

She looked up at her hand, the left one, and found it trembling; she reached out to try and steady it, and found her vision beginning to swim.

And then suddenly the pain hit her, twice as hard as before. A sense of panic began to take root. She tried to call out to Holly, but found her voice caught in her throat. Darkness ate away at her vision, and suddenly she could feel her heart pounding erratically in her chest. There was a curious numbness now, sweeping through her in increasing waves.

Her now-shaking hands moved to her belly; whatever worries she had for herself, they had heightened to a razor sharp edge when she considered her baby, the fear stabbing through her already over-taxed system.

She could barely see now, making out only just shapes in the light; everything seemed to move slower now, taking on an almost surreal quality. She was certain, however, that Shepard and Dr. V'Lork were rushing to her table. They'd get to her in time, of course.

The panic began to subside, a warm, soft feeling of tired contentment overwhelming her. She felt herself fall forward in the chair, the side of her face landing in the remains of the cheesecake slice in front of her. She found it rather amusing...was sure she and Holly would both have a good laugh, at how foolish she had been.

Goddess, she was so tired now...but they'd get to her in time. She was absolutely certain of that, her faith in the outcome unshakable now.

She allowed a slight smile to form on her lips, as she slipped away into darkness at last.

* * *

"Shepard...Holly...are you there?"

Holly came to, looking up, blearily, at Jefela's form. She couldn't remember how long she had been waiting there, curled up on the seat in the waiting room of the Xenosurgery Ward at the Pitié-Salpêtrière Hospital. How long had it been since she was waiting...praying, hoping, begging, pleading, bargaining...with any and all Powers That Be in the Galaxy who would listen, that Liara would pull through this, that she had been stabilized in time, and the operation to save her...and save their daughter had been successful?

It had been the only thing thus far to shake her atheism to it's core; she had spent the night swearing blindly she'd attend whatever sorts of services the various Temples of Athame held, to convert, completely and utterly if need be. Planets could could be razed, or she could devote herself to a life of absolute asceticism; all that she needed was a single, solitary sign.

All she needed was the life of her wife and child. Spared.

The look on the Doctor's face told her all she needed to know; but she couldn't quite react, not until the words made it real.

"Holly...I am so...so sorry. But Liara is...gone." she trembled, as she did her best to keep herself together, in the face of her failure to save the life of the woman who had been as a niece to her.

But the worst wasn't over.

"We...we tried to save the baby...but it was too soon. Another month, perhaps...if we had another month...we might have been able to transfer her to an artificial incubator."

Holly never remembered what happened next. A "fugue state", the therapists called it. They showed her the security footage, later on; the absolute breakdown that she had suffered. Falling to her knees at first, hot rivulets of tears streaming down her face, as she suddenly rose again and devolved into complete hysterics.

She had called out Liara's name again and again, desperately, as if somehow the very act could summon her back from the grave, to the point where she was convinced that the Doctor was lying to her, and demanding to see her wife once again.

It had ultimately taken three orderlies to hold her down, and someone had sedated her, a quick hypojet pressed against her neck.

But even years afterwards, she could never actually recall any of it happening. At least, not consciously.

* * *

They buried her, three weeks later, at the familial plot near T'Soni-Dalesh.

They buried her, right next to Benezia's grave.

The call to lionize her, to hold some sort of grand funeral, and celebrate her life and her achievements, had come, quick and loud. But Tevos had put her foot down on the matter. There would be time later on to hold whatever sorts of memorial services others might require.

But for Shepard's sake, the actual burial ceremony itself was kept small, largely isolated to friends and family.

As before, Holly still couldn't quite recall how she had made it through the days and weeks that immediately came after Liara's death. Garrus and Tali had been an absolute rock to her, and the experience would ultimately solidify their own budding relationship; Ashley barely left Holly's side as well, and had made sure she was properly attired, in a black dress, and a hat with a mourning veil. God knows that left to her own devices, Shepard would have looked an absolute dysfunctional mess.

It had been raining on and off, as the "rainy season" in Armali had begun. The sky was dark, grey, and while the heavens had not opened up for the burial, a soft, eternal mist suffused the air, imparting a wet chill.

Holly had done her best to keep from becoming completely overwhelmed by her grief, And for the most part, she had failed, her body wracked with sobs, unable to speak, as others took on the task of eulogizing Liara.

Friend, lover, wife. Doctor, Shadow Broker. Fighter. Peace-maker. Daughter. Mother-to-be.

Javik, however, was the one that almost everyone agreed delivered the most touching speech, the most heartfelt tribute.

"I am a man out of time." he began, to the assembled crowd.

"A man without a people, and the purpose that I dedicated myself to has come to it's impossible conclusion. It was...Doctor Liara T'Soni" - He had stopped calling her "The Asari" a long time ago - "...who made my people come alive again, even if it was but an echo of the past. She devoted so many years of her life to revealing who we were, to discovering what we were as a race. She even taught me one or two things about my kind, from a time when the Reapers had not forced us into a desperate corner."

"It was difficult, at first, for her to accept what she considered...unpleasant truths, about the Protheans. But it was far less difficult than my own transition to your Cycle has been. My people selected the Asari for uplifting because of all the undeveloped races at the time, we saw the brightest spark of greatness in them...and I would think that the genetic engineers and cultural experts involved in that grand design should feel such pride and honor, that women such as her were the ultimate end result."

Javik had bowed his head for a long, silent moment, before concluding, "It is in her honor then, that I am dedicating myself to a new purpose. I will take the work she started, discovering the ruins of my people, bringing them to light. To ensuring that the Protheans are never forgotten...for as long as someone remembers us...we will never have truly died. For as she worked to ensure our immortality, so will I now do the same, to ensure that her memory lives on as well."

He was good to his word, and as the years went by, many could scarcely believe that the same being who had started off as a vengeful, imperialistic soldier had become the calm, thoughtful, and universally respected scholar that he was ultimately remembered as.

* * *

**2188 C.E.**

Holly was standing on the balcony of the penthouse residence she had Liara had once shared, the dregs of a scotch and soda in the glass tumbler clutched in her hand, as she watched the sun come up. Another night, plagued by dreams, and always the same: somehow coming home and finding Liara was alive; that it had all been some sort of terrible nightmare, some sort of horrible misunderstanding.

"Of course I'm fine, love. I'm right here, aren't I?" Her smile was a bright and as warm as the springtime sun, and just as uplifting.

"And our daughter is just fine as well..."

...oh God.

The baby. Their daughter. In the dreams, she was now just a couple months old. She could almost remember the feel of the weight of her in her arms, as Liara reassuringly handed her over for Holly to hold.

That was almost always the moment she woke up.

For the past six months, since Liara's death, it had been like this.

She had resigned almost immediately from the Spectres; few, if any, blamed her for making that decision. It was obvious that she had lost the spark, the fire, needed for the job. Her commission as a Colonel in the Republican Commando Forces was still in effect, and she made a go of it as an instructor, imparting spec-ops training to Huntress recruits. But the sight of so many fresh faced Maidens, staring attentively at her every day...

She had finally resigned completely, just last week. She didn't need to worry about money...Liara, it turned out, had quite the fortune to her name, not only from her share of her Mother's considerable wealth, but from what she had accumulated as the Shadow Broker. The vast majority of which had been willed to Holly upon her death.

Holly's hands were shaking now, and in a moment of carelessness, the tumbler slipped out of her grasp, falling hundreds of meters down to the ground below; the only saving grace was at this early hour, the chances of it hitting someone were quite low.

She couldn't help being aware of the most curious notion to jump over the railing, to try and go after it. She could make a perfect swan dive, head first, and maybe...just maybe, she'd catch up to it, in some grand violation of the Law of Gravity, before hitting the ground.

She gave something of a strangled chuckle at the thought.

It would be so easy, wouldn't it? To make it all finally come to an end? To at long last be with Liara and their daughter again...as they should be together now.

The door behind her slid open, causing Holly to jump and sharply turn. The grand irony was that for a moment, she almost had fallen backwards over the rail.

"Awww damn! Athame's tits, kid! Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you like that."

Aethyta was there, walking up to join her on the balcony.

Holly blinked her eyes, blearily disbelieving.

"Aethyta? What...what are you doing here?"

"What the hell do you mean 'What are you doing here?'. Checking up on my Daughter-In-Law. Shit kid...no offense, but you look like hell."

Aethyta seemed worse for the wear herself. The color of her complexion had faded somewhat, and she sported a new set of lines and wrinkles around her eyes. While this was not the first time tragedy had befallen one of her daughters, this was clearly the cruelest blow; in a moment of weakness after the funeral, she had confided in Holly that Liara was the favorite, the shining star in the constellation of her progeny over the centuries.

"I'm...I'm fine" Holly lied.

Her Father-in-Law was clearly unswayed.

"Yeah? Well, the only one you're foolin' is yourself. Anyhow...I heard about you giving up your commission. I uh,,,was offworld at the time, or I would have come sooner. Me and the girls, we had some shit to take care of. But the fucker died quick and easy, so I rushed home."

Holly blinked dumbly. Then shook her head, and spoke softly, almost too quiet for Aethyta to make out."

"I can't...I...I went in every day. And every day, all I saw was her. Not in all of them...but enough. Enough to keep reminding me. Of everything I didn't have waiting for me back here."

Then suddenly, it hit her; what she needed to do.

"I'm uhhhh...I'm...I'm gonna go away, Aethyta. I need to go somewhere that doesn't keep bringing back memories. And I want...you can have the place here. And everything in it, too. I mean, you should have it. I think she'd want that. You should have everything here..."

Aethyta sighed heavily, armed crossed, with a light frown, before covering her face for a moment with her hand. She let it drop, and the look on her face told Holly she understood.

It was also clear she didn't agree with the decision.

The Matriarch then spoke, more softly.

"Kid...Holly. Don't...don't go leaving everything behind, I mean...at least take something...SOME THING to remind you. Of what you did have together. Believe me, I know, just running away from this, trying to cut yourself off from it? It don't work that way, not for Asari. Gonna guess it won't work out so well for Humans either."

Holly hung her head down, "I...I just need time. Please."

Aethyta frowned, but then came up, pulling Holly to her in a gentle embrace.

"Alright...alright. You have to do what you have to do. But promise me something, alright? Don't just drop off the face of the Galaxy? Promise an old woman that you'll stay in touch? So I know you're okay?"

In a very small voice, Holly asked "Why...why would you...?"

Still keeping her grip on Holly's arms, Aethyta explain "Goddess, Shepard! What...you think because you're a widow now, you stop being part of my family? Like that died when she did?" She cut off Holly before she could interject,

"No, you...you listen to me on this! You are as much a child of mine as any of the other spouses my kids took. Hell...I like YOU better than most of them, anyhow. Liara...she picked good. Damn good. So you promise your Father-in-Law that she'll be hearing from you again...that when you walk out that door, you aren't walking out of my life.

Holly suddenly burst into sobbing tears at this.

"Oh God...how can...how can you...SAY that? Liara is dead and...it's my fault! It's my fault, it's my fault...if only she hadn't come to Earth, if I had just told Hackett to go to Hell, if I had only put her first, instead of being so selfish...!"

Aethyta shook her at this, and then forced her to meet her gaze.

"Hey...hey! Fuck...none of that shit. Alright? Look...Liara? She was her own woman...she was so damn stubborn, just like her Mother. And I guess...I guess like her Dad, too. Believe me, that daughter of mine would have moved the stars themselves for you. She believed how important it was to keep the shitstorm back on your world from happening...and she was absolutely, unshakably convinced she needed to be there with you. And you know what? I fought her tooth and nail for three hours, but in the end? She couldn't be talked out of it! And also...in the end? I think she was right."

A silence stretched on between them, for the better part of a minute, before Aethyta spoke again.

"She was so happy, those last days with you. That last hour, even. I saw it. I was there too, remember, at that party. She got dealt a tough hand...so much so that maybe she was going to die anyhow, even if she had stayed here on Thessia. And if her number was up no matter what, I'd rather she went laughing and dancing with you, than pining away for your presence, light years away."

Holly sobbed again, but allowed herself to be comforted in the Matriarch's strong embrace.

Regardless, deep down inside...all she could feel was numb.

"I...I have to do this. I have to go."

"Then go. Like I said...just stay in touch. Alright?"

Holly could only nod. And a few minutes later, Aethyta saw herself out.

An hour afterwards, Shepard packed her bags, and walked out the door.

She never came back again.

* * *

**2191 C.E.**

Coming back to Omega had been a mistaken. But it was too late now. Omega had her in it's grip; it didn't matter what she wanted, not any more.

And all she wanted was to stop hurting.

She sat naked, at the side of the bed, taking a pull from a mostly empty bottle of whiskey, just enough to keep last night's hangover from completely clobbering her like a sledgehammer.

Someone else, it seemed, was in the bed next to her, beginning to rouse into consciousness.

Someone Asari.

Oh God. It had happened again.

She was starting to lose count of how many times she had done this...and she was pretty sure there were times that she outright simply did not remember, as well. The pattern always seemed to be the same. The loneliness would be too much...she'd end up at some bar, drinking herself blind. And eventually some Maiden with stars in her eyes, who still remembered the Great Savior of the Galaxy, offered a bit of comfort. A chance for Shepard to delude herself into forgetting that her wife was dead, a chance to remember what holding another body in her arms felt like, to try and put her face on those bodies.

Or sometimes it was just someone, like an Eclipse member, who wanted to get off on having fucked the pathetic shell of the once great Commander Shepard.

Surprisingly enough, she had never ended up in bed with Aria. She always wondered if it was out of respect for Liara, or if it was pity...or maybe by this point, simply disgust.

She could understand the last possibility; most days, she could barely stand to look at herself in the mirror.

The only saving grace was that they never had all of her; the ones that had full on melded with her, or tried. There was always that core, surrounded by a dark-walled shell, like black granite. That place that the others she had taken to her bed dare not touch, if they knew what was good for them.

Certainly one or two HAD tried. The aftermath had been...unpleasant.

The young Maiden was awake at last; she propped herself onto her side, the sheet falling away to reveal the naked expanse of her breasts. Skin freckled...

...just as Liara's has been.

She gave a small, sleepy smile, and murmured invitingly.

"Hey".

There was never any "morning after action." Holly always made sure of that...because of what came next.

Without even turning to look at her, she spoke, steel in her voice.

"Get out."

"What? Hey, I thought we were having some fun...we can keep the party going..."

"Get. OUT!"

Sometimes bottles were thrown to punctuate the point. Fortunately this one, whatever her name, got the drift, quickly jumping out of bed, gathering her leather jumpsuit, and flipping Holly off, before the door slammed behind her.

Holly had come to Omega a couple of years ago, after drifting around the Galaxy. Fittingly enough, she had ended up occupying the same luxury apartment that had been Morinth's base of operations, all those years ago.

It seemed appropriate; Samara's daughter had been a creature of death...and in her own way, it seemed that Holly now was as well.

Shepard dragged herself into the shower, washing the stink of it all off of her, and never fully succeeding. Then she'd go out for a walk, in some of the less savory parts of the station, letting the death wish she was nursing have it's way with her. Always wondering - hoping? Would today be the day at last? Where she would finally go oh so gentle into that good night?

The end never came, of course. Holly knew that Aria had quietly put out word on the station that killing Shepard was to invite the very wrath of the Queen of Omega herself.

"_This is what it must have been like, for Patriarch."_

This time, however...things ended a little differently.

She came back into her apartment, only to find it already occupied. A Turian in a formal looking business suit had seated himself on the couch in the living room.

Holly's blood turned cold. It was Garrus.

Oh God. She hadn't spoken to him, not since she has come onto the station. And she so desperately did not want him to see her.

Not like this.

"Pardon me, Ma'am, but might I interest you in a new security system? I couldn't help but notice the staggering inadequacy of your current model."

"Garrus!" It had almost come out as a squeak.

"Shepard."

It was another ten seconds before she could find her speaking voice again.

"What...what the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, hi there. I'm fine, thanks for asking. Doing great, actually. Tali and I have settled down nicely. We even adopted a couple of kids, a Quarrian and a Turian. Got a business as well, she and I, and that couldn't be going any better as well."

Holly stared numbly out at her friend.

"See, now this is the sort of thing you should be finding out because you call or write. You know, slowly. Over the months and years. Not all at once, because your oldest and dearest pal broke into your abode and waited..." He checked his omni...

"Three point six hours. Give or take. For you to come back."

Despite herself, through all the shame and self-loathing, Holly could feel a smile, a genuine smile, creeping onto her face. Garrus was the first...and the last...person she could possibly want to see at this moment.

She could almost feel a fragment of her formal self, bubbling to the surface.

"Wow...that's...that's fantastic! I...it's really...it's really good to see...y-"

She couldn't remember starting to cry, but it was a good fifteen minutes before she could talk normally once more. Garrus laying a comforting arm around her the whole time.

In the kitchen, after she had composed herself appropriately, Holly dug up a bottle of some sort of dextro based alcohol; if she had to guess it was probably from the pile of what few things had been left behind by the previous occupant. Garrus swirl the amber liquid around in the shot glass for a moment before taking a curious sip, and then nodding with approval.

"Hmm...not a bad vintage. My my, the things you find lying around Omega."

Holly had poured herself an appropriate levo scotch - something currently not in short supply in her apartment - and resisted the urge to slam it back in one smooth motion, taking short, civilized sips instead.

Flopping down ungracefully into the chair in front of the couch, she stared at the Turian, before softly asking, voice husky and low, "Not that I'm not honestly thrilled to see you again...so don't take this the wrong way, but once again: what the hell are you doing here?"

He tapped his talons on the rim of the shot glass, making soft 'tink'ing noises, obviously lost in thought. He furrowed his crests before finally settling on a course of action.

"Alright. The direct approach then. Frankly Holly, I'm here to take you away from all of this. I knew you needed time to grieve in your own way...but someone has to be the bad guy and tell you that this is going too far...that you need to pick yourself up and start walking again. I've come with an offer for you, to open the door again, so to speak."

Cradling the scotch in her cupped palms, she looked down into the glass, or pretty much anywhere other than the the man who was supposed to be her closest friend...and admittedly, now that she was thinking a little clearer, it was obvious that was exactly the role he was playing at the moment.

Finally, she replied.

"A chance at redemption, then. Is that it?"

"Oh...I don't know. I was thinking more like just a fresh start...but I suppose if you like...then yes."

Holly allowed herself to throw half of the scotch back in one gulp, wincing only just slightly. She coughed for a second.

"That's the problem, then. Afraid you wasted your time, Garrus. Redemption is only for those who are worthy of it."

"Oh brother...listen to yourself now. Shepard, do you really believe that?"

Holly frowned, not enjoying the feeling she was somehow being mocked, even though part of her knew that Garrus was doing it in order to provoke a strong reaction in her, to get her out of her own shell of pity.

"I'm not going to pretend that you don't know what...what I've ended up doing...how far I've fallen since I've gotten here. So yeah...in these brief moments of clarity, where I can fully appreciate how I've dishonored her, and our memory together? Yeah...I do."

She couldn't even bring herself to say the name anymore.

Garrus didn't speak, not at first, simply choosing to stare straight ahead at Holly, until she began to visibly shift in her seat, clearly uncomfortable, and finishing off the rest of her drink. He then reached into his suit jacket, and pulled out a small holographic data device, placing the cube-like object on the table, and letting it play.

It was their wedding day, on the beach at T'Soni-Dalesh. From the angle, it was clear that it had been Tali making the recording. Holly watched, thunderstruck, having almost forgotten the day, the words, the meaning, and the feeling behind it all, in her haze of alcohol, self-pity and self-loathing.

_"I am for you, Holliandra, as I always have been and always shall be. Join with me now, and let us not be apart again until we return once more unto the Universe itself."_

"Aethyta said you got rid of everything connected to Liara. I thought maybe...maybe you could use a reminder."

Her face falling into her hands again, she choked back another hard sob.

"Garrus...how can I...how could she possibly forgive me? After what I've done?!"

"Because she WAS for you...just like she said on that day. Maybe if she was still here with us, she'd be none too pleased with how you chosen to work through your grief but...I think, wherever it is she's gone to now...she'd understand. I think she would want you to try and save yourself though...I know you're not into this whole "Divine Beings" thing, and truth be told, I've never had much use for it either...but if it helps, think of me as a messenger from her. Think of me as the man she sent to try and save you."

Garrus gave a soft sigh, and rose to his feet. "Tali and I...like I said, our business is growing, but we need help. People who know what they are doing...people we can trust. People like a certain N7 Infiltrator with a history of making...what do you call it? 'Swished Cheese'? Out of any number of top grade security systems out there."

"Swiss" she corrected, very softly.

He stretched, then reached into his pocket, placing a metal business card on the coffee table between them. "It's good work, it pays well...if you clean yourself up, I know you can do it. If you want to find some sort of redemption and forgiveness from her spirit, wherever it may lie? You make something of your life. Something she would be proud of. And maybe you can find a little bit of happiness again for yourself in the process. I'm not saying you're ever going to fully get over this, Shepard. But it doesn't mean your life is over, just because hers is."

He started to walk out the door, "Well anyhow...I've thrown a lot at you with this...so you take your time, and you give me a call, no matter what you decide. But I hope to hear from you soon. And...take care of yourself." At this, he looked over to her, gave her the Turian equivalent of an honest smile, nodded once, and slowly began to walk away.

Holly picked up the card and looked it up. The business advertised was the uninspired "ZVS Security Solutions Group."

Had they already saved a spot for her? From day one?

She could hear Garrus' footsteps echoing down the hallway, growing fainter and fainter. Continuing to stare at the card, as if transfixed, it hit her.

She was drowning. And this was the life float being tossed at her. Drowning woman doesn't take any time to think shit through. Thinking gets you killed. Sooner or later, Omega was going to grind her up and spit out the seeds, and it was going to be a slow, painful process.

Suddenly, she had a true moment of clarity, the first real one in so many years:

She could die here...eventually. Or she could accept Garrus' offer. Maybe it wouldn't take, maybe she'd never find the strength to go on without the one great and true love of her life...

But she'd be damned if she wasted her one last opportunity to find out

It had to be immediate. It had to be done right now. There would be no time to think it through...thinking would give her the opportunity to talk herself out of this, and that was the last thing she needed.

Holly shot up to her feet, and ran out the doorway, crying out.

"Garrus...Garrus...HEY GARRUS! Wait for me, alright?!"

Holly ran out the door of her personal hell on Omega, masquerading as an apartment.

She never came back again.

* * *

**2197 C.E.**

The door to her luxury apartment on Silversun Strip opened with a faint hiss, and Holliandra Shepard stepped through the door. Passing through the anteroom, she dropped a small black overnight bag onto the couch, gave a soft sigh, and made her way towards the bar on the other side of the room.

It was just Holliandra now, to almost everyone other than her closest friends. When she accepted a partnership in Tali and Garrus' business venture, she threw herself into the work wholeheartedly, losing herself in it, in the way she had lost herself in sex and alcohol in the years previous. It would be at least another two or three years before she started finding more of a balance in her life, although she had yet to perfect it.

Still, she tended to be no-nonsense in her demeanor, as evidenced by the black pinstriped business skirt and jacket, along with the severe bun she kept her hair in. Her friends wouldn't call her "joyless" per se, but she was clearly no longer the woman they knew, even if just to some small extent: no longer so quick with a joke or some sort of ironic bit of biting sarcasm, no longer the life of the party.

Sometimes, the old Holly would poke her head up, if just for a minute or two, before going back down to where she came from. The two of them, so to speak...her old life and her new, had yet to find true reconciliation.

A small VI orb floated down the stairs, and approached her, speaking in a crisp, British accent.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Shepard. You currently have three messages waiting that I've identified as "of interest".

That was another thing: it was ALWAYS Mrs. Shepard. She was very insistent on that, no Miz. As if she wore the constant reminder that she had been married, once upon a time - and STILL was married to a dead woman, as some would say behind her back.

Giving a soft sigh, she traced her fingers over the bottles in the bar. She drank infrequently now, mostly when social occasional required it. But tonight, she was going to need something in her.

Tonight was the night Liara had died, ten years ago.

It had almost crept up on her, not so much forgotten, but somewhat...fallen by the wayside, just a touch. But she had been on Thessia, concluding a high level negotiation on behalf of the company, doing business now as the slightly-more-creatively-named Vanguardium Solutions, and it was increasingly difficult to not remember. Having dinner with Aethyta had driven the reminder home with crystal clarity, and she finished up her trip a few days early in order to be by herself at home when the day came at last.

Pulling out a tumbler, and filling it with chilled soap stones, she softly spoke, a tired edge in her voice, "Alright, give me the list, Kanji."

"Doctor Lawson reminds you that you are overdue for the inspection and as-needed re-calibration of your cybernetic support systems."

Holliandra sighed hard, through her nose for a moment. The high cost of living, or rather, the purchase price of coming back from the dead, was having Miranda poke and tinker with her innards every couple of years. It had been her work with the Lazarus Project that had finally seen Miranda's fortunes rise up; she had founded her own biomedical institute on Quilla Station, in orbit around some desert world called Chasca. The last time the two had talked, it seemed there was romance brewing between her and another woman, something Shepard would not have seen coming in a million years.

Still, Quilla was quite pleasant, especially in comparison to other stations of its type.

"Right. Send a reply back: inform Miranda that I will be booking a flight to Quilla in a day or two, and send her my regards. And then book a flight for me, for two days from now."

"Affirmative. Second message is from from Ambassador Steven Hackett."

Holliandra's brow shot up in surprise. She had infrequently spoken to him over the years, the two having drifted apart; not long after Liara's death, he had taken Humanity's seat on the Council, doing much good to rehabilitate past wrongs.

She was curious to hear what he had to say...but tonight was not the time for it.

"Was it marked high priority?"

"Negative, Mrs. Shepard."

"Right. Just remind me in the morning to read it then."

"Affirmative. Last message is from Spectre Williams."

At this, Holliandra did crack a slight smile. Ash had been...fantastic, in picking up the slack after she had resigned. Indeed, the only good thing Udina had ever done in his miserable life was assign her as the second Human Spectre - or rather, the First Truly Human Spectre, as Ashley liked to joke. She has even helped Shepard keep her promise to EDI, using her influence to ultimately see her full rights granted to her. EDI and Joker had then went on to live a completely mundane and happy existence after that.

Shepard was unable to help herself this time, "Alright, playback."

Ashley's voice filled the room as Holliandra poured herself a scotch and soda.

"Hey girlfriend. I uh...hope shit is going well for you. But umm.I'll come to the point; I know The Day is coming up next week, and I just wanted to let you know that if you feel like talking...or smashing things, or getting drunk, or getting drunk and smashing things...I'm going to be on the Citadel. So look me up, alright? It's been...too long. Anyhow, love ya, bye."

Holliandra bit her lip. Though she herself had done little to earn it. Ashley had kept in close touch after she had "reemerged" from Omega. She had to admit she was touched...more than just a little bit. Maybe it was for the best...tonight had the potential to get heavily maudlin, and keeping herself from wallowing too deeply, in the company of a trusted friend, was probably the wiser course of action. It's something that Old Holly wouldn't have done, choosing instead to drink herself blind for the rest of the night.

Which is precisely why Holliandra went in the other direction.

"Okay...um...send her a message back...tell her to meet me at the new Indian place on the Strip in three hours. Then make a reservation please."

"Affirmative."

She walked over to the living room, drink in hand, and pulled a picture out from the bookcase: a printed photo of Liara and her, wrapped in each others arms, on their wedding day.

Taking a pull from her drink, she reached down, tenderly brushing her fingertips over the picture, and spoke in a hushed tone of voice.

"Hey pretty Bluebird...we should totally...we should totally have s-"

She had never been able to make herself say that particular catch phrase, not even in private moments such as this.

"Hi baby. It's been ten years, tonight. And I just wanted to tell you that I'm...I'm fine."

She walked over towards one of the large picture windows, heels clarking loudly against the parquet floor. Placing the photo frame down on the piano, and then turning back to watch the Strip. Taking another pull on her scotch, she continued.

"Although I suppose fine could be a matter of definition. I'm one of the heads of the most successful private security firm in the Galaxy, with a bank account approaching the low nine figures. Compared to being a pathetic joke killing herself with booze and...sex...and...well...it's definitely a win, that's for sure."

She paused, finishing off half of her drink, and then started up again, "Not going to lie about it though, Liara. Every day I wake up, and part of me still looks for you in bed. When I'm half asleep, I can still feel you, smell you, right next to me, and it's like..."

She swallowed hard, eyes starting to glisten.

"So I saw Sam Traynor a few days ago. She's back on Thessia...moved back after her marriage to that Brazilian supermodel went belly up, I guess. She uh...she asked me out. Just like that. And I...I didn't say no. But I don't think I'm going to say yes."

She bit down on her bottom lip, taking a deep, shaky breath.

"They keep telling me you would want me to move on...to find happiness again. And I know that if our places were reversed, I'd want that for you, certainly. It's just...I can't put my finger on it, but something is wrong. Every day, it feels like something went...horribly wrong. I mean..." She pulled at her hair for a moment, groaning with frustration.

"I mean, obviously, something went horribly wrong, because you died, but...I don't know. There's something deep inside me, and it keeps insisting that it wasn't your time. That you shouldn't have died, that...like...reality itself broke down. And I...uh..."

She swallowed down the rest of her drink.

"I think that part of me feels like if I just hold on a little longer, you'll come back. You and Hippolyta. I just need to hold on a little longer. I just need to...fight it. Sooner or later, it'll all suddenly go back to normal again."

She leaned her forehead against the glass, closing her eyes, and murmured, "But...umm..I'm sure every widow says that, in the end. It's just...I still miss you and our baby...so much."

Unable to hold it back any longer, the picked up the picture frame and hugged it tightly to her chest, allowing the sobs to choke her throat and wrack her body, shaking quietly in the cold glow of the Strip outside.

* * *

Liara could feel herself suddenly become Aware, once again. She was so close now, to the edge, that ineffable boundary, where life ended and the finality of the Abyss began. She had almost slipped over that edge...

...and it was so difficult, so painful to hang on now.

But the images flashing in her mind...what was she seeing? An actual potential future? A warning? Or was her mind simply giving her something,...anything...to hang on to, to inspire her to fight her way back.

Before, it might have been too much. She might have simply been unable to resist the pull of non-existence, to work past the pain, to claw her way back up. She was so cold...so tired. Like drowning in an icy lake, and not sure which way is up, which way to swim back up to, past the surface.

But Ryal had taught her well...and to her credit, she had been an excellent pupil. And the same strength, the same mindfulness, the same control of her mind and body came into play.

It was just like trying to hold on to the coal from the brazier. And it was completely unlike it, as well...but she could do it.

To still the dangerous arrhythmia of her heart, to bring blood pressure down. To claw her way back to life, step by agonizing step, no matter how long it took.

For herself. For her unborn daughter. For her bondmate. And most important of all, for their future together, the future they could still share.

As she made her way, closer...closer...she could start to hear voices, muffled, as if through a thin wall, mixed together with the stattico beeps of monitoring equipment.

"...sixteen octals of kitodrenaline, now!"

"...no response!"

"Damnit. Double the dose and..."

"Wait! I'm getting something...I'm getting a pulse again!"

"Should it be going up that quick?"

"Goddess we may need to...wait! Wait, I think it's leveling off!"

"The KD couldn't be doing that by itself, could it?"

"I don't know...I've never seen anything like this before..."

It seemed to take forever...and no time at all. But Liara, at long last, had made it.

"She's breathing on her own now!"

She had finally broken through, back into the living world, once again.

* * *

Liara weakly opened her eyes. Closed them again as they hurt from the light...then tried again, this time able to slowly adjust.

Holly was there, at her bedside.

"Liara? Liara!"

She hugged her fiercely, and started to cover her face and head in kisses. She could feel the wetness of tears on her cheeks.

"Holly? Holly...I'm..."

"You're Goddess-damned lucky, that's what you are."

Dr. V'Lork appeared, hovering over Shepard's shoulder, her expression an even mix of fear, anger, and relief. After a few seconds, the relief began to win out.

"And you're on the _Destiny Ascension,_ baby. It's going to be alright now."

Holly was holding onto her hand, tight...as if afraid that if she let go, she'd lose her for good.

Liara managed a glowing, reassuring smile back to her bondmate, before turning to the Doctor, asking, "What happened?"

Jefela frowned at this.

"Know damn bloody well what happened, Liara! Exactly what I warned that you would be risking if you came to Earth. You had a heart attack. And for all intents and purposes, you SHOULD be dead...but you SOMEHOW managed to come back from it at the last minute. I don't think there is any permanent damage, another minor miracle, by the way...but you're essentially confined to complete bed rest for now...and I suspect for the rest of the pregnancy."

Liara looked up, and very softly said, "Time to go back home then."

Doctor V'Lork nodded once, partially mollified at Liara's unprompted acquiescence. She then leaned in, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and said, "Normally, I would have a good yell, at how foolish you had been but..." She sighed, then gave a tight smile. "I would hope that almost dying would be far more effective than any motherly chastising I could provide. I'm...so relieved we still have you here...Nithua. And...if you'll excuse me, I should let you both have some privacy."

Jefela departed the room, leaving the two alone. Shepard was simply smiling radiantly, threading her fingers through Liara's own, and squeezing tightly.

"You know, I should be giving you a tongue-lashing as well...but since the point is to PUNISH you..."

She tossed off a quick and saucy wink, but Liara could see the bravado holding back a fear that was only just barely beginning to subside. She pulled Holly in close for a kiss, lips coming together like they were made only for each only. Shepard gave a soft shiver, breaking the kiss only so that she could nuzzle tenderly at her bondmates face, wrapping her arms tightly around her for a minute.

"I'm sorry, Holly. I should have...I HAVE been rather foolish, haven't I? Risking too much?"

"Yeah, well...I could have done more. I should have been more insistent in you resting..."

Liara smirked slyly at this. "You are...simply put...terrible at telling me no. So I can hardly blame you."

Holly blushed, but nodded, mouthing a silent "Yeah."

"Anyhow, I...uh...yeah, I went a little crazy. They wouldn't let me come in the ambulance with you, and I was just..." She took a shuddering breath. "Oh baby, the fear going through my mind, the worries about how...about how I'd just fall apart without you. Um...anyhow, I don't have to find out what would happen now...and I aim to make sure I never find out, ever."

Liara tilted her head curiously, memories stirring within her mind.

"Holly...if you don't me asking...when you died...what did you experience? Anything?"

Holly visibly blanched at the line if inquiry, but given recent events, it seemed natural as breathing

"Huh...think you're the first person who ever asked me that. So never had to think much about it. Obviously...you know...it's a little fuzzy but...uhhh...after the panic gave way to hypoxia, it was really...peaceful. At the risk of sounding like a cliche, my life did kind of flash before my eyes. At least, the really good parts of it, mostly. So, you know...there was a lot of you, in it."

There was a pause, before Holly inquired, "So what happened with you?"

"It is...difficult to explain. But I think instead of seeing my life in the past...I saw what the future held...if I didn't find a way to stay alive. Life without me, so to speak."

"Yeah well...mind does funny things, close to death. I guess that's just one more thing we share in common now. But...next time? Let's just get matching tattoos, okay?"

Liara laughed warmly at this, then gave a little cough; it hurt a bit, after all she endured over the past few hours, but it felt good as well. It felt good to be alive.

Holly leaned in one last time to kiss Liara, "Get some rest, Bluebird. We're on our way back to Thessia as we speak. It was a rush though, as we were moving you back to the ship after you were stabilized, and I promised Admiral Hackett I'd give him a call."

Liara nodded, looked up, her eyes meeting Shepard's.

"I love you. Even in death, I will always love you."

Holly swallowed hard at this, pausing briefly, before leaning in to hug her bondmate tightly again, whispering.

"Yeah...well...don't take this the wrong way, but I hope I go first."

They nuzzled foreheads one last time, before she walked out of the medical bay.

* * *

"How is she doing?"

Admiral Hackett's image stood in the holotank of the QEC .Things had been strained between them since the night of Cauldwell's arrest, and they hadn't spoken much since. Shepard's righteous anger had largely spent itself in that one drunken rage. After that night, she was essentially resigned to the reality of the situation: That war with the Reapers had not only brought out the best in Humanity, but had stirred up it's baser demons as well.

Liana's brush with death had had the curious side effect of getting them communicating regularly again.

"She's...she's through the worst of it. I'm not going to lie, Steven. It was too damn close. She was clinically dead for a minute or two. Doctor V'Lork still isn't sure how she managed to come back."

"She's a strong woman, Shepard. There's a-a gentle dignity behind it, though. Most folks don't see that, not at first."

Holly smiled a touch, despite herself, nodding. "She is at that, Admiral. She most definitely is."

She gripped the railing around the QEC tightly, till her knuckles shone through, breathed another cleansing breath. She hadn't realized how tightly wound she had been, how much she had been ready to start fracturing, had the worst been realized. But she didn't have to think of it - not now - and she wasn't capable of doing so.

A pause stretched their seconds out tortuously, until they both suddenly sought to break the spell, simultaneously.

Holly took the initiative.

"I'm not happy with this thing hanging over us, Steven. Not by a long shot. We got played. Hard. The worst part about is it's the sort of thing I worried was bound to happen...but I went through with it anyhow. I can't help but think that me being here, prompting Liara to follow me...that tonight was my fault."

The Admiral chewed on his bottom lip, removed his cap, composed his thoughts.

"Holly...I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't starting to have second thoughts of my own. Perhaps I got so wrapped up in working with Allers and to prevent an even worse situation that I -" he sighed. "Perhaps I misjudged the extent certain other groups might have been willing to go to for victory."

He turned away; then looked straight towards her.

"But I _am_ convinced that we got the best out of a potentially no-win situation. Believe me - this could have been far worse. Maybe the hardliners had a hand in this, maybe not. Ortiz and I aren't exactly on cordial terms at the moment, and while I'll never be able to prove anything... I've gotta wonder. Some of the personal investigation I've undertaken since we spoke is leaving me with the impression that something is definitely rotten. But I also think weave defused the situation, at least for a while."

He sighed, then replaced his cap.

"Damn thing about a war like the one we just won - the struggle between good and evil seems so clear cut. It makes it harder to deal with certain things when the situation goes back to being clear as mud. But...I apologize for what we put you through. Know that I think you made the right choice. That we still came out of this ahead."

"We'll never know. Can't second guess it, we just have to see what happens next. But Steven? Humanity needs to figure this shit out for themselves. Mrs. Shepard can't go flying in to try and save them from themselves any longer. I won't. And frankly..." she leaned back against the railing.

"The best thing right now is probably for the legend of 'Commander Shepard' to die...for a while."

Hackett chuckled.

"Galaxy will always need people to look up to. Role models, folks larger than life. Inspirational people You'll always have that cross to bear. But I understand you not wanting to spend a lot of time back on Earth. Just don't let what happened here turn you off to all the good you're still capable of doing, for its own sake."

Holly could only nod silently.

The next pause between them was more relaxed. Holly looked over her shoulder.

"I never did find out how the election results went down."

"Ha! No big surprises there. Humanis got the absolute shit kicked out of them. Lost all but fifteen seats. Folks still didn't seem quite willing to give the whole ball of string back to Nova Fed, though; They still ended up needing Bloc Monde to form a new coalition. And, well, you're really going to hate this part..."

Holly felt her head fall forward. Deja vu gripped her guts, started squeezing.

"Give it to me straight."

"Bloc Monde had conditions, of course. Nothing as game changing as what Humanis extracted, except...there's the matter of picking who is going to replace Ambassador Armitage."

"Hey, as long as they don't pick a power-hungry bastard like Udina, or an evil queen bitch like Little Miss Effy, don't care. Not my problem."

"Actually, that's the funny thing. It is."

Holly turned sharply, crossing her arms over her chest.

"This better not be the part where you tell me they want me to join the Council, because I will say no so quickly, it will cause a blue shift..."

Hackett held out his arms, shaking his hands quickly.

"What? No…no no no. No one's that insane, Holly!"

"Hey!"

"Oh c'mon. An Ambassador Shepard would be a nightmare for everyone and you know it"

Holly glowered at first, trying to muster the words for a spirited defense...and then deflated.

"Yeah...okay. I guess that's true. Still. would have been nice to have...you know….and I would have politely declined..."

Hackett interjected. "Bloc Monde just wants you to pick the replacement."

"Really?" Holly's eyes went wide.

Then it hit her.

"Oh I GET one time the guy was actually competent and not a traitorous sellout or the Galaxy's most evil schoolmarm, was the time I picked him."

"Mmmmm…something like that. Yeah"

Hackett grinned like a fool.

Tapping her lips, and furrowing her brow, Holly mused, "Good! First smart thing Parliament has done in months. Alright. Awesome. Let's see…Iiiii piiiiick…."

"Right now? Shepard, maybe you ought and think it through. At least overnight."

"Noooope!" she replied, popping her lips together at the end. "I pick...oh. Her. You know. Damnit!"

Holly started snapping her fingers together, as if the movement would loosen her memory.

"Who's the woman from Bloc Monde that represents Horizon? The Quebecoise? Uh...Samantha's got that racy poster of her..."

"Claudette Veilleux?"

Holly leaned back again, a manic smile spreading across her face.

"Yuuuuup!"

"Really?"

She nodded once, in an exaggerated fashion, "Uh huh!"

"The woman whose career experience before getting into politics involved running her own one-woman fetish modeling media empire?"

"Oh, was she? I stopped paying attention after the long, blonde hair and the rack..."

"Shepard! You gotta be joking! This is the woman who drummed up votes during her first election campaign by inviting people to do body shots from her navel during Spring Break on Ilium."

"See! She's already got the common touch!"

Suddenly, the two of them locked eyes.

Five seconds later, Holly burst out into peals of hysterical laughter.

"You are so full of shit sometimes, Shepard!"

Catching her breath, she wagged her finger at him, and said "Yeah, but you gotta admit...that would be seriously awesome for at least the first month. Okay. Not her. But, I DO have someone in mind already."

He nodded once.

"Alright. Who?"

"You."

Hackett was speechless. Then he began to shake his head vehemently.

"Now I KNOW you're joking this time. Holly!"

"I am serious. Deadly. Totally."

"Shepard..."

"No...hear me out."

She began to tick reasons off one by one on her finger.

"You have experience from your tenure as interim Ambassador. Grueling difficult months. You're a well-respected military man, like Anderson. I know you've got a good rapport with the other folks on the Council."

She shrugged. "Look at it this way. Our reputation on the Council is trashed after the last two idiots. This isn't JUST about someone merely competent in the role - they also have to have a store of goodwill built up, who can mend fences and rebuild images as well as the hard stuff. And…"

She uncrossed her arms.

"Admiral...despite everything ... the lines you crossed. You know the difference between  
bending the law and breaking it into a million pieces. Being on the Galactic stage would be - good for you."

Hackett was at a loss, stammering, before forcing out, "Well. I'll...I'll need to think about it."

"Please. Give it serious thought. My second choice would be a helluva lot worse. I know it's probably not the job you want right now, but it may be the job we _need _you to take."

"Hmmm. I'll give you my answer in twenty-four hours, Shepard."

Holly nodded.

Steven looked deeply introspective now, speaking as if half-distracted, "Hmmm. Well...I'm glad Liara is going to be okay. You stay with her until that kid of yours is out in this universe, happy and healthy, alright? Hackett out."

His image blinked out.

Holly turned and slowly departed from the private comm chamber, relieved she could start putting the bittersweet experience of the last few months to rest at long last. She was going home.

* * *

**A/N: **So assuming I still have an audience after this chapter... :-)

This is a big milestone. 30 chapters, and we just crossed the 200,000 word mark. Which is...staggering to me. I had no idea where this would go, or how long it would take, but I did honestly suspect at the very beginning that I would be well and truly done with the story long before now. But folks gave me enough support and reviews, and good ideas, and it just keeps growing organically. So thank you, for all that. If I had to guess, there's probably not more than 15-20 chapters left, if that...but I thought this story would wrap up in 10-15 chapters initially, so that's all just spitting in the wind guesstimates at this point.

And of course, a tremendous thank you to **Caracal22, **who, as always, took time out of writing her own series to do edits and give feedback. This chapter especially, she really played mentor, working with me on some basic structural issues with my writing style. As a result, her fingerprints are just as much on the last act as mine are. Maybe even moreso. So read her stuff! And maybe one day I'll get closer to her level of writing. :-)

Claudette Veilleux is based on a real life person...I leave it to you to figure out whom.

It may be another couple of weeks before the next chapter, I'm about halfway through the next chapter for Pretty Good Year. But I think the next couple of chapters will be really fun to write, and hopefully really fun to read, as...*drumroll* we finally get a baby in Chapter 31!


	31. Fallout Girl

**A/N: **The next two chapters were originally one whole; I think you'll agree it works better to split them up.

BTW? Holy crap you guys, but you rock! I was just...bowled over completely by the feedback from the last chapter. Thank you so much for all the feedback and reviews! I try to think that I write for myself, but hearing back from folks is what gives me some of my best ideas down the road.

* * *

By the time Liara and Holly returned to Thessia, there were only three months - at best - remaining until the day Liara would need to give birth by induction. It was decided that the two of them would settle in together at Hachana, after assuring Doctor V'Lork that they would be in constant contact with her.

Holly found that the peace and tranquility of the mountain monastery agreed with her. It was the first time in years since she felt truly free of the responsibilities and expectations pressing down upon her shoulders; the six months under house arrest on Earth after the Alpha Relay incident notwithstanding, as that hardly counted as anything close to a relaxing time.

Liara's day-to-day schedule consisted of three things: bedrest, training with Ryal, and empathic melds with Holly and their daughter. After her heart attack, she hadn't gotten any worse, but her recovery was far from swift. Regardless, she found she enjoyed the predictable patterns of their current existence, a far cry from the tumult and chaos that had been life for the past few years.

Holly now had a considerable amount of spare time on her hands; though she checked in every few days with Ashley, Hackett, and a few others, she also did her absolute best to keep from getting sucked into the swirling maelstrom of galactic affairs. The universe had managed to keep itself in existence for several billion years before Holly was born, and chances were reasonably fair that it would survive the impact of her self-imposed exile for a few months more.

She had no trouble keeping herself occupied during the long hours when she couldn't be with Liara. When she wasn't working on her considerable pile of Japanese model kits, she would take long walks in the surrounding mountainside, exercise, or even try her hand at meditation under the guidance of one of the acolytes - although without the same sort of motivation as Liara, she didn't feel particularly compelled to master any of the techniques offered.

Despite the looming and terrifyingly real threat of Liara's failing to survive the birthing process, it was some of the most relaxing, soul-soothing times the two of them had ever experienced. Entire days would pass where neither would speak, preferring instead to communicate through the meld, or simply through physical contact alone. Holly wasn't sure which seemed more surreal: how different life had suddenly become for them, or how quickly they had settled into this routine.

She tried not to think how quickly it would all change, once again.

* * *

If there was any issue that despoiled the otherwise idyllic peace and tranquility of Shepard's time with the Develian Order, it was the food.

Asari food was just too goddamn sweet.

After the first two weeks, Holly finally spoke her mind at breakfast.

"I don't understand how everyone on Thessia doesn't have diabetes; the vegetables taste like fruit, the fruits take like sugar...even the cereals and breads are like some crunchy form of honey. I feel like I'm eating a bowl of candy every morning! Believe me, when I was eight, that would seem like my biggest dream come true. But right now? I totally need some variety."

Liara laughed merrily, reaching out to take Holly's fingers in her own, kissing each one softly, eliciting a warm flush from her bondmate's face, before responding.

"Now you know why I find Human food so bland and and unsatisfying, why I'm always putting sugar on everything you cook. It's just how we evolved, love. Biotic abilities require much greater amounts of caloric energy than what Humans, Turians, or Quarians consider normal. Even Krogan, for that matter. With most life on Thessia having biotic abilities to some extent, the only food plants that flourished were the ones that had the highest concentrations of various sugars.

Holly snorted softly as she sprinkled a light dusting of sea salt on her bowl of ceral, finding that it helped balance out the worst of the cloying sweetness.

"Yeah well...evolution is totally fuuu" - she caught herself as Liara gave her a meaningful look, still trying to keep to her promise to swear less - "uuudged up. Except...the part where it created an entire planet filled with blue alien women. And...the part where it made you."

Holly gave Liara her brightest smile, prompting the Asari to pull her close, planting a deep kiss on her lips.

"You are...very sweet. And you taste like the ocean", Liara whispered.

Shepard leaned her forehead in, resting against Liara's.

"Sorry", she whispered, warm breath caressing her cheeks.

"No...I like it. It reminds me of home."

Holly gave a throaty chuckle, nodded once.

"Soon, babe. Soon we'll be back. The three of us."

She reached down, placing her hands on Liara's swollen abdomen, as the pair grew lost in each others eyes.

Liara was a good half-hour late for her daily training with Ryal; still, it had been completely worthwhile.

* * *

**2188 C.E.**

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Shepard. Please, have a seat."

Holly had only just arrived in Amastral an hour before, to meet Jefela at her office, located in the largest hospital in the capital city of Armali. The day before, she had gotten a private message on her omni from V'Lork, requesting a private visit as soon as possible.

One without Liara; one without Liara even knowing what was going on.

Holly didn't enjoy keeping secrets from her wife, but she knew the Doctor wouldn't have asked without one hell of a reason. Especially from the woman who was like family, as far as Liara was concerned.

And by that token...

"Please, call me Holly."

Jefela smiled, but the light from it didn't reach her eyes, "Alright then...Holly. Thank you for coming. As you know, I'm hoping that Liara's health can hold out for another couple of weeks, before we try to have her induce labor." She took a long, hard breath at that, and then continued.

"But we need to talk about a few things...and I think it's best that you hear it first, so that we can both work together to prepare Liara for what is to come. Her present condition is delicate, so much so that to be perfectly frank, I wish there was a way we could keep from having this conversation at all until after the baby is born. The best compromise I can come up with is to prepare you now, so that you can help comfort her when the time comes, when we tell Liara after she's finally delivered the child.

Shepard nodded once, but swallowed hard, feeling her insides clench tight. She had been doing her absolute best to think positive, to not consider the possibility that Liara wouldn't survive the process. The heart attack had not made the prognosis any better...

...but she had to believe that Liara was going to survive...because she couldn't fathom continuing to live without her.

She knew there was going to be a cost, somewhere down the line. She couldn't think they were going to escape without some sort of fallout hitting them.

The pair stared at each other in silence for a moment, before Jefela closed her eyes, bowed her head, and then looked back up.

"I just received the latest amniocentesis results. And the data from the eezonomic neuropotentiogram I performed during Liara's last visit. Please understand, I've spent the better part of three weeks double checking my findings. Researching everything I could find. I wanted to be absolutely certain, especially in light of Hippolyta's...unusual...ENG readings."

Holly simply blinked, then nodded. She had no idea what an ENG was, or what that might have to do with whatever tragedy was about to be lain at her feet.

Jefela clearly saw the lack of comprehension in her eyes, and explained, "An ENG is a rather new technique; it's only come into use over the past fifty years or so. It allows us to assess the full biotic potential of an individual Asari, by taking measurements of the eezonomic nervous system - what allows Asari to naturally access biotic abilities - and then making extrapolations based on complex, but well-established algorithms. The test wasn't initially developed purely for medical diagnostic purposes, more to help the various Republics identify possible future candidates for the Commando program. We've since discovered that the results can also aid in the early detection for several rare conditions." She paused for a moment, steepling her fingers.

"Including what we call variable-epigenetic hyperneuritogenesis. Known more commonly as H'Rolthi's Syndrome."

Holly felt her anxiety coiling like a metal spring, as she did her best to remain calm. She still didn't fully understand what it was that the Doctor was trying to explain to her.

"Give it to me straight, Doc. I'm not good with all this medical mumbo jumbo."

Jefela looked exasperated at first, but then softened, nodding. "I apologize, Holly. However, this is a rather complicated condition. In short, it sometimes emerges in situations where the developing fetus is exposed to higher than usual amounts of blood eezo, as was the case with the infusion chamber treatments. Treatments which were needed in order to mitigate the worst effects of the _keppakefex _as...as Liara made her journey to Earth."

The Doctor closed her eyes tightly for a moment. Holly knew that she had protested strongly at Liara leaving Thessia, and had come along not only out of professional and ethical duty...but because she was deathly afraid for her, on a personal level.

"In most cases, the body doesn't process the excess, which is then flushed out, much as if you took a large dose of what you call Vitamin B. Development is usually unaffected past ensuring a good level of fetal health. But for reasons that we still don't quite understand, when HS emerges, the extra eezo is more efficiently utilized, causing an overdevelopment in the child's ENS."

Holly blinked twice, "Does...does that mean she's going to be a really powerful biotic? So much so that the Asari military is going to take her away and train her to be their Ultimate Weapon?"

It was a joke of course. Something Holly had told to try and instinctively lighten the mood. Or more likely, to deflect from what was no doubt a serious issue. Perhaps it was a form of pre-denial...

But...not fully. A horrible vision of her daughter playing the role of Jack Zero suddenly forced it's way into her mind's eye, a wild, untamable woman-child, a raging fire that one did their best to point in the opposite direction and pray they didn't get burned with.

Jefela laughed despite herself, if just because of the sudden emotional release. "N..no. Not at all. I mean, yes...yes, her biotic potential IS within the 99th percentile, possibly a touch beyond. No, the military has no plans for her at this time, although I can just imagine some Commandant out there practically salivating at the chance to recruit her when she's old enough, given her possible power level, and family names."

"Well that...that uh...sounds really great though, Doc!"

Holly regretted saying it, the moment it slipped from her lips. It seemed so foolish; of course she wouldn't have called her in her, just to tell her 'Congrats! Your child is the Chosen One! Her badass power will make her a living legend!'.

But she so desperately wanted to make herself believe that Jefela was overreacting. That the situation wasn't as dire as implied.

"Sorry." Holly quickly mumbled, hiding her face in her hands.

"No...not at all. And yes, for the most part...this IS the good news. Before ENG tests, we had no way of spotting children born with H'Rolthi's Syndrome. In most cases, their biotics would manifest when they were very young, often in violent and uncontrollable ways. But now that we know what's on the horizon, we can make sure that she gets the right medication and training from the start.

"Wait...medication?"

"Asari children usually begin slowly manifesting their biotic abilities between the ages of 10 and 15. Children with HS manifest as early as 3, often at full strength. But there is a safe and effective compound that we can begin giving her that will suppress the early emergence. She'll take it until age 8, and then we'll begin gradually lowering the dose, allowing her to gain control of her powers over the course of a year or two."

"Oh that...that sounds...that's good. Right? I mean...it could have been really bad, if we didn't know...so..."

Jefela leaned back in her chair, nodding offhandedly. Her fingers were interlaced, and working against each other nervously.

"Another advantage to prenatal detection is that...that is, children with HS tend to have...difficulties. With mating. At least for the first time. Their nervous systems are so highly attenuated, they don't instinctively understand how to fully control the process. Without proper treatment and training ahead of time, the partner is so overwhelmed that they pass out. Sometimes coma is induced, although usually not for long periods of time. But...in the worst cases, only a handful of which I suspect we actually know about, the partner was killed. The current line of thought is that for many years, H'Rolthi's Syndrome was misdiagnosed as a variant of the same genetic disorder that creates Ardat-Yakshi. And it wouldn't surprise me if more than one Asari branded as AY was actually suffering from a severe form of HS"

Holly tilted her head, "Um...so...how do you train...for that kind of thing? I mean..."

"Oh! Well...when the time is right, we would send her to..well, there are Consorts who have received specialized training. I believe you are acquainted with one by the name of Sha'ira?" V'Lork smiled lightly at her intentional understatement, "She is qualified in dealing with cases such as this."

Holly shot up, "Now wait just a damn second. Are you telling me that when she's old enough...I've gotta send my daughter to...I mean. For her FIRST time?"

Shepard found the situation somewhat...embarrassing. Not to mention ludicrous. She hung onto that. Ridiculous kept it from feeling quite so real. Kept her from having to face the situation in full.

Jefela canted her head slightly to the side, "I realize this is far from the most romantic way of handling things, Mrs. Shep...Holly. However, would you rather she began experimenting on her own, and harmed the first person she ever engaged in a mating meld with? The experience could be catastrophically traumatic for her, not to mention the partner. But once she's engaged in that first meld, she should be able to quickly adapt, and learn to control it...for the most part."

"For the most part?"

V'Lork scrubbed nervously at the back of her neck. "There is evidence to suggest that in some cases, the afflicted Asari never gains full mastery of their melding ability. That the experience for the partner becomes so intense that it reaches a point of addiction...they become...sexually imprinted upon their mate."

_Is this...is this a joke? Is this some kind of stupid ass...yes! Of course! she's just screwing with you...she must be!_

Shepard tried to keep the bitter note of anger from sounding in her voice. "What the hell? Are you telling me my daughter is going to become some sort of...that...what..."

She didn't even have the words. She almost had to burst out laughing, or start sobbing, or both, as the vision filled her minds eye, of her fully grown daughter, a vicious smile upon her lips, sitting over the wrecked corpse of Aria T'Loak; she was surrounded by any number of thralls, bound to her will.

She was declaring herself the new Queen of Omega.

Jefela tried to keep her voice steady as she spoke.

"Imagine that you could never mate, could never engage in an intimate meld, without destroying a piece of your partner's free will. That you would be shackling them to you forever, whether you wished it or not. Imagine how damaging that could be to someone's psyche. You'll understand why H'Rolthi's and Ardat-Yakshi were mistaken as one and the same.

Neither spoke, for what seemed like minutes on end. A piece of Shepard clung to the vain hope that this was all some sort of twisted dream, the product of too much Asari _kamava _bread before bedtime.

But it was real. As much as she didn't want to accept it, she had to...she had to be ready to deal with this, and soon, for Liara's sake.

Holly broke the silence, with a soft whisper.

"That's not the really bad part, is it?"

Why else would she ask her to come alone? To not even tell Liara until after the baby was born?

Jefela bit down on her lip, eyes glistening with suppressed tears.

"No. I am so sorry. It's not."

She reached up to wipe her eyes and explained, "We have a saying, and you Humans have one very much like it: The star that shines twice as bright, burns half as long."

A horrid, acrid nausea burned it's way slowly through Holly's sternum. She did her best to choke it back down.

She stood up for a moment, suddenly couldn't stand to sit. Then woozily fell back into her chair.

"Wait...literally? Are you telling me...?"

The Asari Doctor nodded.

"How...how long? I mean, exactly how long?!"

Jefela reached up, wiped her eyes, and then answered.

"Based on previous cases...as little as 400 years. And perhaps as long as 850. The ENS is so overtaxed that one day, it just begins to fall apart. The process takes place over the span of a decade, usually beginning as a degradation in cardiopulmonary efficiency. Biotic ability is the next to go. Finally, the immune system collapses, which is what ultimately ends up killing the victim.

Holly stared off into space, unsure of how to react. To her Human sensibilities, 400 years seemed like an amazing eternity; 850 years an unfathomable span of centuries. At an instinctual level, she couldn't make herself feel the tragedy of so shortened a lifespan. And inability to empathise with it made it...not real.

Not immediately at least. Not until she realized...

_Imagine if I only had ten or twenty years left...at best._

Then she thought of Liara. And how much she would crucify herself, blame herself for this.

She stammered out, "I...w-what...what do I tell her, Jefela? How do I keep this from absolutely destroying her?" The question was clipped with a choked back sob.

V'Lork didn't answer at first. She rose up from her seat, turning away, and stared out onto the outside courtyards in the noonday sun.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Holly. The eezo infusion treatments may have contributed, one way or the other. Hard to be certain but...but the risk was within acceptable limits, or so I thought. Considering I wasn't...given much of a choice. It was either that, or face a much greater risk of even worse birth defects. Or death. Liara was so...so damned determined to go..."

She suddenly slammed her first against the glass. Not hard...but hard enough.

She turned to look at Shepard once more, "This condition predates our most modern technological treatments, which means that eezo infusion is not the sole contributing factor. I've read of several cases similar to Liara's, where it's use failed to cause the syndrome to emerge..."

"But..."

"But...in the grand scheme of things Holly...Liara went against my strict medical advice, in order to join you on Earth. And I'm afraid that she is now paying the price for it."

She leaned in, her face very close to Shepard's, her features contorted into a serious mask of tightly contained anger.

"But do not ever...EVER dare to tell her I said that! Maybe it was her fault...maybe it wasn't. But letting her blame herself for this would be pointless now!"

Holly didn't flinch; merely nodded.

"I think she already..I-I mean..."

She trailed off, as she started to rise automatically from her seat.

"Thank you Doc...um...I guess I'll...we'll be in touch. We'll figure out what to do, after the birth, and..."

Holly began to drift out of the office, numb and indifferent.

"What will you tell her?"

V'Lork's voice was tight, almost high pitched now.

Pausing at the doorway, Shepard slumped hard at the door jamb. Unable to even look back, she murmured, "I'm going to tell her that... I love her. That I love our baby. And that there's no way to change what's happened. That there's no way to know what really happened. So all we can do is make sure that our daughter is able to shine...as brightly as she needs to. For whatever time she's allowed."

She lingered at the door a few seconds longer, before asking, "Is...anything else? Should know about? Will she...will Hipployta suffer as a child? Will it hurt? I mean...everything else...she has to go through?

Jefela swallowed hard, "N-no. I mean, not any any large way. The medicine will make her lethargic at first, and then every time the dosage has to be adjusted. She'll adapt after a few weeks, each time. But after her biotics properly emerge and then...past the first mating...she will be perfectly healthy. Until the day..."

Holly nodded...then shuffled quietly out of the office, not even able to close the door behind her.

* * *

Before returning home, Holly did everything she could to work the worst of her emotions out of her system. She went back to their high rise condo, spending the next few hours crying, raging, falling into silent contemplation, and allowing every hurt and angry impulse to burn through her. She welcomed all of it, drew it all up into her, until there was nothing left.

She needed to leave every demon behind, so that all was left was sturdy rock.

A rock for her wife to cling to. A rock to support her. To nurture her. To shelter her from the oncoming storm, and see her safely through it.

It was the middle of the night by the time she returned to Hachana, determined to deliver the news as gently as possible.

The look on Ryal's face told her something was terribly wrong.

"Shepard" she said, in a near-whisper. "I'm afraid Liara has done...something quite foolish."

Holly ran, as fast as her legs would carry her, almost comically slamming into the door of the room the two of them shared. She flung it open...

...Liara was there. Datapad clutched in her hand. Eyes red-rimmed and wet. Body shaking quietly with intense grief.

_"Remember that time a while back where I mentioned that I happened to be the Shadow Broker? Why, it seems like it was only a minute and 38 seconds ago…"_

She may no longer have been the Shadow Broker...but it wouldn't have been difficult for her to crack into the medical files, if she was unable to staunch her natural curiosity.

Holly glided across the room, and sat down next to her on the bed. She gathered her love in her arms, fighting her ever so slightly as Liara weakly struggled to pull away.

Liara then collapsed into her, trembling, her tears freshly surging. Crashing into her like the ocean waves meeting the cliff face.

She cried out, in a ragged and agonized voice.

"What have I done!? Oh Goddess! What have I done?"


	32. The Day The World Was Born

**A/N: **Annnd here we are and last! Hard to believe that in my very first story treatment, I went from the end of Chapter 4 (Where Shepard proposes to Liara) and then jumped straight to this chapter. As you can see, the story blossomed a tiny bit (about 190K words) in between those two plot points. :-)

Thank you all for coming along with me to this point. Enjoy!

* * *

Holly held Liara through the rest of the night, allowing her to come to terms with the revelation of their daughter's condition. She let her rage and rant, at least as much as she thought Liara's health could stand it. She pushed her own feelings into a small, crystalline ball, and tucked it deep away, knowing that she'd have to deal with it eventually.

She calmed her, kissed her, reassured her that she loved her above and beyond all others in the Universe; that she never could and not would blame her for anything. That despite their daughter's shortened lifespan they needed to count their blessings, that thanks to early detection, their daughter would have a life that was essentially normal, even filled with joy.

It could have been far worse.

Did Holly herself believe all of it? That her daughter would know more joy than grief, at the very end? That she could never blame Liara for what happened?

It didn't matter. Not at that moment. Probably never. All she knew is that the life of her bondmate and the life of their daughter both hung on a slim, gossamer strand, and that becoming the calm, polar opposite of the ragged storm tearing her wife apart was the only hope they had.

Liara collapsed at last, out of pure exhaustion. Holly rose, and quietly placed a call to Doctor V'Lork.

She knew that in her weakened state, Liara's health was sure to be in dire straits. Holly may have lacked specialized medical training, especially when it came to Asari physiology, but she knew how dangerous the ashen pallor that had overtaken her bondmate's skin had to be.

Liara was still fitfully asleep, twitching and turning constantly, by the time Jefela made her way to Hachana. Holly was waiting outside for her, having been up for almost 30 hours. While she had been forced to endure far worse during her military days, it was clear that she wasn't quite as robust as she had been in the absolute prime of her youth.

"Thanks...for coming. Liara, she's...I-I think you better see. Uh-I think we better move soon."

Jefela nodded, before leaning in to give Holly a gentle hug, whispering, "Get some sleep. If you're right...you're going to need to rest while you can."

Walking into the room, and closing the door behind her, Jefela sat at the side of the bed, biting down on her bottom lip as she reached out to tenderly stroke Liara's forehead and and cheek. Frowning, then reaching down to feel at the other woman's neck to check her pulse.

Liara stirred slowly, eyelid fluttering open. Gave a weak cough, staring up towards the Doctor. Despite her condition, she favored her with a gentle smile.

Jefela reached out, taking Liara's hand in her own, and squeezed gently.

"My dear child. I am so...so very sorry."

Liara rose up to a sitting position in the bed, her voice hoarse as she replied, "Not your fault. Should have listened...to you."

Jefela closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Yes. You should have, but...you can't blame yourself, either. Might still have happened, regardless. The important part is that you not cling to things you cannot change."

She reached out, again running her fingertips over Liara's cheek.

"And frankly, Nithua...we can't wait any longer. It's time..."

Liara nodded.

The two reached out simultaneously to embrace each other.

Fifteen minutes later, they both emerged from the room. Holly was relieved to see that Liara's color was returning to a much healthier shade as they made their way to the monastery's landing pad. An ambulance stood waiting, as two medical technicians helped Liara onto a stretcher.

Holly sat dozing on the bench inside as they took her back to Amastral, her hand and Liara's clasped tightly together.

* * *

"Don't take it personal, kid. Like everyone said: It's hospital policy."

Aethyta and Holly sat in the lobby of the maternity ward. The room was unusually quiet, with only a Salarian, a Turian, and another Asari present, along with a few immediate family members, all of them waiting to discover the fate of their own respective daughters.

Holly was hunched over, elbows on knees, fingers threaded through her hair, trying to keep from seething over the events of the previous ten minutes.

_"I'm sorry, Mrs. Shepard, but in very specific cases such as this, hospital policy forbids family members from being present in the delivery suite."_

"_WHAT?! No...way. There is NO way you are kicking me out of here!"_

Aethyta had laid her hand on Holly's shoulder, giving a firm, but otherwise non-threatening squeeze. She leaned in, murmuring...

"_Sorry Shepard...this isn't the battle you're going to win. Trust me I know...ah...I'm kind of a big part why that hospital policy is in place now so...if you want to blame someone and get angry, get angry at me."_

But it was Liara who had soothed the savage beast, drawing Holly close to her, whispering.

"_I love you, Holliandra. So much. I'll be alright, I promise. And when you come back...both of us will be waiting for you."_

"I just don't want those to be the last words I ever heard her say to me, Aethyta. I don't...don't know what I would do. Y'know..?"

Aethyta wrapped a firm arm around her Daughter-in-Law's shoulders and pulled her close against her, huddling in as if they were plotting mischief.

"Let me tell you something...something I still have to remind myself, even after ten centuries of pushing air past my teeth: sometimes you have to let go, realize that you have absolutely, positively no control over what happens in the moment. That you might as well accept the situation with some...I don't remember the human word precisely for it...oh wait! I think 'serenity'?"

Holly nodded.

"I know for you...that's like asking most Maidens not to run off to a bar and shake their asses for tips. I know your kind, how you think. You're always calculating the angles, always working out the odds, trying to line up all the advantages, whatever cheats and tricks you can squeeze out, before you finally take the shot. You're like every other sniper I know; once you pull the trigger, you never have to wait more than a second or two to see if you got it or not; then you move on.

Holly flinched at first, turning and opening her mouth as if to protest, then stopped; realized her Father-in-Law had her dead to rights. Taking things on faith and seeing how they play out, accepting that you had no control at all at times...it was a great way to get killed or worse, growing up on the streets.

Even during her military career, there were few times where she didn't take some sort of action without having calculated a backup plan. Didn't always work out the way she wanted, and she knew damn well that you ended up having to roll them bones, sooner or later...see if you crapped out or won.

Didn't mean she wasn't always looking for a way to shave the dice, though...

"You're right", she whispered, "I just don't know how to let this one go, Aethyta. I really...I really don't. I've never had to face this sort of situation before, in my life. It was one thing, having to make the call, and sending Kaidan to his death. Making the call again, and Jack not making it out alive, when all the others did. Just...c-can't help stop thinking of everything I could have done different. Know it won't make a difference. I just wish I could stop thinking..."

_Thinking in general._

Without warning, she turned and gave Aethyta a tight hug, suddenly grateful to have the gruff Matriarch by her side. For the first time in her life, she was acutely aware of the lack of family she had, beyond her and the crew of the Normandy. She had made peace with being an orphan a long time ago...

...but at the moment, she so desperately wished she had parents to be with.

"I'm...I'm so sorry about Benezia!." she suddenly blurted out, prompting a confused look from Aethyta.

In the beginning, Shepard had only felt a vague clinical detachment for Liara's Mother. She was...if not an outright enemy, than a dangerous antagonist. It would have made having to put her down so much easier, if she had simply stayed that way.

But life was never that neat, nor so black and white.

Suddenly, Holly couldn't help but feel she had cruelly robbed Liara of her Mother, the way she had been robbed of her own. That she had stolen Aethyta's chance at reconciliation and rekindled love.

That she had denied Benezia a life...life as a Grandmother.

After five years, it suddenly hit Holly in full, exactly whom she had been forced to kill. What she meant to everyone around her.

Aethyta was confused at first, gazing quizzically at Holly. Then understood, returning the hug with ferocity.

"Hey...hey. None of that..." she chided. "That wasn't Nezzie you stopped in the end. Not really. I know if there was any way you could have made sure she would be here with us today...you woulda made it happen."

Aethyta planted a soft kiss on Holly's forehead.

"Thanks, I...ah..."

Holly rose, squeezing Aethyta's shoulder. "I need to just...walk. Clear my head."

"Yeah...you go ahead. Probably be a while before we know for sure."

Drifting away mindlessly through the corridors of the sizable maternity ward, Holly numbly put one foot in front of the other, not quite sure where she was going...what she was doing.

_God, so tired right now._

Suddenly, the lights went out.

Glancing around, she realized she had accidentally walked into a small supply closet.

It struck her, without any actual conscious thought involved, that this seemed as good a place as any. She curled up on the floor, drifting off into sleep.

* * *

There was a tingle against the skin, followed by a bitter whiff of ozone that quickly dissipated as the sterilization field swept across the delivery suite.

Doctor V'Lork and the attendant nurses were dressed in surgical scrubs, the same color as Asari blood, harkening back to an ancient traditional aesthetic.

Ryal, similarly attired, had been the only non-medical individual allowed in the room. While Jefela was far from pleased to have her, Liara had gone through all the paperwork to obtain a "religious/philosophical waiver", granting her the freedom to proceed with her own treatment outside of the medical mainstream.

Jefela turned to the other two women, "I understand, or rather, I've been briefed on exactly what it is you two will be doing. I still don't advocate this particular line of action but...it's too late now. My staff and I will do our best to monitor and support your vitals as you progress with the self-induction."

Ryal gave a faint smile, gently held onto Liara's hand. She turned to the Doctor, and nodded her head, responding, "Thank you Doctor. I...do not believe that will be necessary. Liara is as ready as any pupil I have ever taken under my tutelage could ever hope to be. It is up to her now...to fail or succeed." She turne back to Liara, "And you will succeed, child."

She then addressed Jefela once more, "With that said, one should never jump from a cliff without a parachute handy. Your presence is most reassuring."

V'Lork was vaguely mollified by the response. She had to admit that Ryal didn't seem hostile to the great body of established scientific Asari medicine in general, which, in her book, put the First Vediya head and shoulders above any sort of 'faith healer' she had come across in the past. At the very least, she was willing to admit that the months spent in isolated meditation appeared to have played a significant factor in buoying Liara's health; she couldn't imagine that any other Asari could have put herself through everything she had, and still be alive by this point.

Liara took a deep, shaky breath.

"I'm ready. I just want to say, Ryal...no matter what happens...thank you. Six months ago, I would not have thought any of what you were trying to teach me would work."

Ryal chuckled in a warm, motherly fashion.

"And now...?"

Liara smiled mysteriously, closing her eyes, and laying back.

"Pardon me...but I have a daughter to bring into this world."

* * *

_Liara sits alone, cross-legged, her entire world an empty void save for the splashes of flickering light provided by the candles encircling her. _

_Before her lays the metal brazier; over the weeks and months that she had trained with Ryal, she had memorized it's every detail: the wear and tear of scratches, the flakes of rust, the whorls of ashcaked on the grill. It is as real to her now, in her mind, as its companion in reality ever could be._

_It is a symbol, a manifestation of what she has to struggle against; her own body's natural instinctive mechanism that try to prevent Asari from consciously inducing birth on their own._

_Somewhere in the distance, beyond the Void, and closer than just over her shoulder, Ryal watches and waits. She can lend her comfort, support, encouragement. But from this point on, only Liara alone could truly overcome this challenge._

_Her hand slips towards the coals, fingers passing through the corona of heat surrounding the burning chunks, barely eliciting even the merest reaction from her; she had mastered that level of control months ago._

_She moves ahead without thinking about it: mind without mind, action without action. Her fingers quickly slip around one of the coals, gripping it tight, and lifting it up for her to study dispassionately. In the back of her mind, down down deep, in the most dark and primal instinctive brain, she screams in absolute agony, begging herself to stop._

_Her intellect, divorced from passion, pain, pleasure, self-protection, curiously notes the blue skin on her fingers blackening, the sizzling sounds and smells of charring flesh trying to overpower her awareness. She notes them, acknowledges their presence, and then simply allows them to pass through and away from her._

_Her eye flood with tears...but still, she refuses to let go, to give into every instinctive urge, millions upon millions of years of stimulus response that absolutely demands her surrender._

_She places her other hand upon her abdomen, directing her attention upon the life that lay inside._

"_It is time now, precious heart. Time to come out and greet the rest of the universe..."_

Jefela stared intently at the bank of monitors that displayed every bit of relevant biometric information being provided by the various sensors that had been fixed to Liara's body.

She narrowed her eyes, not quite believing what she was seeing.

One of the other nurses broke the silence that had gripped the room for the past hour.

"Goddess! How in the name of the Abyss is she doing that?! Her nervous system activity is through the roof, but her brain doesn't seem to be processing the signals."

"Not fully, at any rate. And I...have no idea HOW she is doing that."

They continued to watch, injecting Liara with various safer - and less effective - medications to help keep her vitals within acceptable parameters.

Almost another hour had passed before someone spoke again.

"Heart rate's getting dangerously erratic...I've got a 32 octals of quadramorphaline prepped, Doctor..."

Jefela held her hand out as she shook her head. "No. Too risky for the baby at this stage. Look...she's already managed to force the primary nerve umbilical to slough off!"

"But...but it's only been two hours! That shouldn't happen until at least four...at best! Under the standard procedures."

The Doctor snorted as she gave a clipped chuckle, "We appear to be well out of the 'standard procedure' territory at this point." She then rubbed her eyes, gathering her thoughts, before continuing, "12 octals, zetralaxalone. It may be little better than spitting into the wind...but we're going to give her every bit of help we can."

The nurse laid the hypojet into Jefela's hand, who then pressed it against Liara's neck.

"Beyond that...it's all up to her now."

* * *

"Fuck! There you are!"

Aethyta spoke in an exasperated tone, a look of mild annoyance on her face.

Holly woke up with a start, banging her head on one of the nearby shelves, prompting a loud swear of her own.

"What...where am I?"

"Holly, you're in a damn supply closet. How the hell did you even end up in there? I've spent HOURS trying to track you down...they were just about to call security to start helping. Thought maybe you left the hospital, so I went up and down the streets, before I came back here. Why the hell did you go and take a nap in the closet?"

Shepard rose to her feet. She had to admit that she was feeling curiously refreshed.

"I don't...even remember how I ended up in here.", she muttered, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

With a horrified look on her face, she whipped her head towards Aethyta, "Oh God! How long was I missing?"

"Ten hours, give or take."

"What?! Fuck! What's going on? Is Liara still...is everything okay?!"

Aethyta backed away, allowing Holly to exit from the closet. Arms crossed, a coy smile emerging from her lips.

"Yeah, about that. I think there's someone who'd like to say hi to you...Daddy."

Holly took off immediately.

It wasn't so much a conscious action, more that her feet began running at top speed; naturally, the rest of her was obliged to follow.

She nearly knocked over several orderlies and a doctor as she made her way to the delivery room; she even managed to vault over an unoccupied stretcher, before slamming through the swinging doors. An absolute picture of grace, speed, and precision, nothing would stand in the way between her and her family.

She made it all the way to the delivery room, before finally managing to stumble over her own feet. Falling forward and sliding the remaining few meters until she she came to a stop next to Jefela and Ryal, finishing up some sort of conversation.

"...never seen anything like that before, in all my years of practicing medicine. I'm...I'm not so proud that I can't admit that there may be effective treatments outside of standard medicine. I...would very much like to sit down with you and talk, sometime."

Ryal nodded, and murmured "Of course. I will admit that...the strength and the discipline of the individual pupil makes all the difference. I fear perhaps not every Asari could master the techniques involved...Oh. Hello, Mrs. Shepard."

The pair looked down at her, and Jefela began to chide, "Where have you been, Holly? Aethyta's been looking everywhere for you!"

Holly clambered up onto her feet, a wild look in her eyes, "Yes. She found me. Yay! Movemovemove..."

She pushed the two of them aside, like a parting curtain, revealing the most perfect sight she had ever beheld: Liara laying in bed, her back propped up. She seemed worse for the wear, an oxygen tube attached to her nose, and various IV drips connected to her right arm...but she was absolutely glowing; the Asari baby she cradled in her arms was perfectly healthy.

Holly's eyes went immediately wet, holding her hands up to her mouth for a moment. She quickly crossed the remaining distance to the bedside.

"Oh God! I am sososososorry! Are you alright? Is the baby..."

She stopped short, as she laid eyes upon their daughter, and took her first real look at her.

Liara answered, her voice a bit rough, "Fine, sweetie. Both...totally fine. Awesome. That's the word you always use? Awe. Some. I'm awesome, and the baby is also very awesome. We are both being awesome together."

Holly tried to keep from laughing too hard, "Oh damn, they must have you on some serious painkillers right now."

Liara nodded drunkenly, "A-yup. Now...gimme kiss. Then give your daughter one."

As Shepard leaned in, wrapping an arm around Liara's shoulders, their mouths pressing together passionately, an orderly choose that moment to run up with a datapad.

The most prominent text on the screen read:

**THESSIAN MINISTRY OF RECORDS - ARMALI REPUBLIC DIVISION  
****BIRTH CERTIFICATE  
****NAME: HIPPOLYTA BENEZIA T'SONI-SHEPARD  
****DOB: 98.2688 Galactic Standard Time  
****(February 2nd, 2188 CE, Terran Coordinated Universal Time)  
****MOTHER: LIARA VATAVIA T'SONI  
****FATHER: HOLLIANDRA KATHRYN SHEPARD**

"Colonel! There you are! I just need you to thumbprint this...oh!"

She skidded to a halt, then began blushing furiously.

Without missing a beat, mouth still firmly planted on her bondmate's, Holly began blindly sticking her thumb out, waving it around in the vain hope of making contact with the pad. The orderly grabbed the wrist, quickly pressed the thumbprint onto the reader, and then let the hand drop.

As she quickly departed from the room, she giggled to one of the nurses, "Oh my Goddess, I can't believe I got to touch Colonel Shepard!".

The pair finally came up for a breath, and Liara gave a breathy sigh.

"Mmmmm...that was nice..."

Holly leaned in, covering Hippolyta's forehead in kisses. By the time she turned back, Liara had already passed out, and was fast asleep.

Jefela walked up, carefully removing the baby from Liara's arms, and gently deposited her into Holly's. Who appeared terrified of holding her, as if she was afraid of doing something wrong.

The doctor patted Shepard reassuringly on the arm and said "You'll do just fine. Liara...has been through more than I imagined was possible. She'll need at least a week here at the hospital, and then bedrest when she goes home but...the very worst is over now. Congratulations. Why don't you walk around with her? I'm sure you'd love to spend a little time together."

Holly slowly drifted out of the delivery room with a vague "Uh-huh", an entranced look upon her face as she took a good, long look at her daughter.

HER daughter.

Maybe she didn't carry it. Maybe it wasn't like Liara was a human, and they had done a zygotamatic splice using Holly's DNA. Maybe "Asari genetics don't work that way."

But as Holly looked down at her daughter, she could almost feel the switch flipping in the most ancient part of her brain, the instinct that allowed mothers to spot their children immediately, and fathers to recognize the cry of their own baby in a crowded nursery.

Hippolyta was so small, yet so perfectly formed. Small, blue, chubby, with fat little fingers and limbs. Her crests were still limp, slicked back against her head - a natural occurrence in order to allow the Asari body to more easily deliver - but they would begin to "perk up" and assume the more familiar shape in the days to come.

The thing most shocking to Holly was the similarities; naturally, she expected to see Liara and Benezia in her, and she did...especially in the chin and the nose. But she also could see Aethyta's crooked mouth. She mistook the splash of tiny freckles over the cheeks for Liara until she looked closer...

...found they almost perfectly matched the pattern of her own.

And as Hippolyta stirred, slowly waking, she blinked her eyes open as she gave a tiny yawn.

Intense, jade green eyes.

Just like her Daddy's.

Holly didn't even realize she was sobbing and laughing until one of her tears fell on an arm, prompting the tiny infant to thrash it around slowly, in uncoordinated circles.

"Aw...sorry! Ha ha...sorry kiddo. You've gone and made a wreck of your Dad here...Oh God. Look at you...just look...at you."

Suddenly, it hit her: everything she had done, everything she had gone through, every decision she had made, through her entire life...had all lead up to this one singular moment in time. In one infinitely brief span, she had stopped being the protagonist of her own story, and began life anew as an all-important supporting character in the epic adventure of Hippolyta T'Soni-Shepard.

Her daughter began to fuss, announcing her increasing displeasure with a choked series of false-cries, like a motor making up its mind as to whether it will actually start or not. Holly froze at first, uncertain what to do...

...then decided damnit, she would just wing it.

She started to very gently bounce Hippolyta in her arms, making whispery, cooing noises, then gently rubbing her nose over her cheeks. She walked over, and ensconced herself in one of the side alcoves, when the notion to sing a lullaby popped into her head.

But what to sing?

She didn't have much experience to go on: she remembered so painfully little of her own childhood, and almost no recollection of the time before her parents were killed in the accident. But she did have one memory, of a time, being sung to. She wasn't sure who, but she had always liked what little of the song she could remember...

_Sleep my baby, sleep my baby  
__Dream of somewhere far away  
__Do you remember still?  
__How I hope you always will  
__Keep the memory of the day  
__The world was born_

Hippolyta was mollified for the moment; while she didn't fall fully back to sleep, she snuggled fully against her Father, prompting a look that suggested Daddy's heart had completely melted away in her chest.

"_No wonder Aethyta strung me up by my heels when I wanted to marry her daughter. First person she starts seriously dating is going to be in a world of trouble..."_

Holly leaned in, and whispered quietly near the side of her daughters head:

"Hey kid. Hey...how's Daddy's magic sparkle princess? Welcome to the Galaxy. Don't freak..but I'm kind of a big deal around here. But that's okay, I'm hoping you'll get everyone to forget about me. Can't promise that every moment and every day will be a good one...but I promise your Mother and I will always...always love you."

A few minutes later, doors to the Maternity waiting room opened, Holly striding in with a wide swagger. Or, least as much as carefully carrying a newborn infant would allow.

She shifted her daughter around, so that the child could be displayed more prominently, and called loudly to the occupants, announcing:

"Hey! I'm Colonel Shepard... and this is my favorite baby on the planet!"

* * *

**A/N**: Yay! So just a heads up, things at my work are going to get insane soon. I am focusing on finishing up the next chapter of PGY, and then it might be a little bit before I get the next chapters out.

A gigantic and mushy hug to **Caracal22**for being a beta reader par excellence. Particularly for all the feedback she provided on the previous chapter, helping me smooth out some bits, and patch up a plot hole or two (or, at least make them a little smaller :-) As always, you should check out her excellent stuff as well!

Astute readers will note that yes, I did indeed use "Washu's Lullaby" from Tenchi Muyo. The implication being that what Shepard thought was someone singing to her as a baby was really just a TV left on in the background. Also, the implication being that I am a huge geek.


End file.
